Paul Mercurio Online

I am sad for I know no song
I am sad for I am a man who has lost his music
My life is empty where once it was vibrant
Rythym lies beneath the silence
Ready to soar to its natural note
But remains voiceless
For I know no song
I am a garden without a rose
A river without water
A night without stars
I am barren
I am songless
A man should never be thus
For it is the music in ones heart
That beats out the metre to ones journey
It is the timbre and pitch that lends one
Strength and softness
It is the structure and depth that gives one
Passion and desire
It is the silence between the notes
That brings one to know the soul
And in knowing the soul
One sings
With clarity
With freedom
With abandonment
With truth
And with a knowing that only comes
When one reclaims his music

The man who dreams of nothing
has nothing but dreams
The man who acts on his dreams achieves his goals
has an abundance of the stuff of his dreams
and importantly endless more dreams to dream
The man who does not act
eventually dreams of disenchantment
until finally
hope is lost and he dreams no more
and worse
he loses faith in the abundance that is he himself
sep 04

You know… the thing is…
I still miss you
I still see your face
your smile your curly hair
I still hear you arriving
at my house on your motorcycle
and remember well
how the whole family jumped up excitedly
and ran out to greet you with hugs
and smiles and declarations of love
And today… almost six year since…
I stand at a bar in a pub having a beer
and think…
who could I ring to say hi
who would I like to catch up with
and your face flashed
in my minds eye
and the empty space in my heart
throbbed
all the pain and hurt still raw
but also frustration
for it is just not possible
good bye my brother
good day my pain
you are gone
yet I remain
and that
is the legacy
of suicide
june 06

its a lonely place, my aloneness
even amongst the crowd, as I am now
no one sees me
and I am lost
standing in this cavernous station
waiting for my time to come

The longer time I spend alone
the larger the cave of my thinking becomes
Loneliness expands.
The tendrils of my thinking extend beyond reason
exploring the hidden
discovering the obvious
and all the while growing larger and darker and more
cavernous with each moment left alone
in the dark my voice echo’s off unknown and unseen surfaces
thrown back at me in a guise oft unspoken
oft not listened to
That the thing, the longer you stand alone
the more you discover there is to discover
the longer you wander
the deeper you will find yourself going
and eventually you come face to face
with yourself
but do not be fooled
for like the rings in an onion (and the tears they bring)
or the rings that denote the life of a giant oak
so to the self that you meet
is but one peeling of who you are
the further you step within this unknown infinite space
the more layers you may discover to peel away
and the more intimately you may come
walking in rings to understand your own self
aug03

She is tall and straight, with a cheeky glint in her eye
She is strong and dignified,
She speaks from the heart and embraces honesty
She is at once humble and grateful
but doesnt mind to express herself with the occassional tantrum
which are truly beautiful to behold
Her words are true
Her heart is big
Her cuddles are great
She is beautiful too
and smart
I am very proud of her
for she is a wonderful person whom I learn much from
and share much with
We have laughed and cried together
we have explored and grown
we share
we are journeymen of the best kind
for we are friends.
I love her deeply
and try very hard to let her go so she may grow
but it is not always easy – is it my sweet?
I am so lucky to have this time with her
and I thank the powers that be
and more importantly
you – Elise
for being the wonderful you
you be
Happy Birthday!!!!!
sept 03

The man who dreams of nothing
has nothing but dreams
The man who acts on his dreams achieves his goals
has an abundance of the stuff of his dreams
and importantly endless more dreams to dream
The man who does not act
eventually dreams of disenchantment
until finally
hope is lost and he dreams no more
and worse
he loses faith in the abundance that is he himself
sept 03

the phone rings
once
then much later
twice
i wait
darkness fills me
silence
three times
a warm voice
fills my mind
sleepily
dreamily
says hello
i soak
enveloped
my need tight
a bubble breaks
a sound
a sob
my voice?
tight
holding
denying
disbelieving
another sob
darkness surrounds
night
stars
wink out
warmth
gives up
invites the cold
calm
becomes ever still
till nothing
a warm voice
drifts away
memories fade
thoughts dwindle
a sob escapes
the pain of living
pain
held firmly
too firmly
to feel
too firm
to be
true freedom
disallowed
hello?
sleepy
warm
comforting
heat to my lips
blood moving
i’m okay
i’m home
your embrace
love floods
fills
keeps me
i float
my pain
your pain
our pain
diluted
sinks
wrapped again
held
for another time
time
lingers
wafting
smelling of fear
and memories
hello?
reasuring
time is now
memories
drift across
thoughts
feelings
nothing is forever
forever
only you
now
only you
hello
i say
and am safe
sept 03

I trust the universe
I embrace that which flows from it to me
I embrace the challenges it offers
I accept the gifts it brings
I honour the truth it bestows
and pledge to learn the lessons well
I am grateful for the journey
the highs and the lows
the hardships and the triumphs
the universe within mirrors that without
in harmony and balance I walk
upon the path the universe provides
in trust I journey
the universe and I
as one