Archive for November, 2001

Something to contemplate: Go placidly

Tuesday, November 20th, 2001

Something to contemplate:
Go placidly amidst the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others even the dull and ignorant for they to have thier story.
This is the first part of the “Desiderata” a script apparently found hanging in a church in Baltimore in the 18th century…but please dont quote me on that. The whole piece is lovely. There are two versions the one I like and believe is the original finishes with “….be careful, strive to be happy.” Some guy found this script and changed the end to ….be cheerful strive to be happy….. and then put his name to it, or so the story goes.
Why am I talking about it? Well I have been wrestling with an anger issue or an issue that has made me very angry. Whilst trying to source this anger I remembered those first lines and realised that I was angry because I had surrendered and not spoken my truth and therefore had been walked over and completely discounted. I was angry for myself (and at myself) for allowing me to treat me like that. If I allow me to treat me like that then I also allow others to treat me like that! It may not always be easy to stand up and speak your truth, perhaps …”remember what peace there may be in silence” is also a way of saying keep the peace through silence?? At times a very good option which in doing so is not surrendering.
Any way I thank the powers that be that led me a year and a half ago to learn the Desiderata off by heart, Because after an hour of contemplation on this problem the words came to me and I found an answer or a road to travel and it dealt not with anger but with the love and respect I show myself and there-by also to you.
Mmmmmm….life works in mysterious ways doesnt it?

My brothers birthday today. A

Sunday, November 18th, 2001

My brothers birthday today. A day to celebrate his life. But life got the better of him and he is no longer with us. He would have turned 37 today. I miss him! He lost his battle with life – some would say – but lets face it, we all do at the end of the day. We are in fact born and begin the long and supposedly joy filled experience of slowly walking towards our death. I do not mean to be negative just truthful. I look at life as a challenge – the ultimate adventure where there are no winners or losers just fellow adventurers. I guess any time you like you can dip out of the adventure – after all it’s your life, but the problem is no one seems to dip out when they are happy, positive and balanced.
Thinking of my brothers birth and the joy we had as kids, as brothers seems to make today all the sadder, it still hurts. I want to honour his smile, his joy, his generosity, his love, his capacity to give, his humour. I thank you my brother for sharing some of the adventure with me – it was an honour and a joy.
For those of us left it important for us to share the continueing adventure. All too often people hide in thier own pain, ignore thier feelings in the hope it is not true or it will go away. It wont if you hang on to it in this way. Infact you might even feel this pain in your body manifested as injuries or stiffnesses… may stay with you longer until all you feel is pain now and not the joy of memories, nor the joy of moving on.
This adventure called Life is pretty hard yakka – it would be boring if it was easy! Have fun even in the hard times and as best as possible honour the journey. Love the Adventure.
I wish you all the best.

PS. I will ask Cat

Thursday, November 8th, 2001

PS. I will ask Cat to put a more recent photo below the YOUNG thoughtful one just to the right.
That one was taken some years ago. In my years (ie dad with 3 kids ) 24 years ago! in your years 8 years ago.

Remind me to talk to

Thursday, November 8th, 2001

Remind me to talk to you about moments and nothing.

My daughter turned ten yesterday!!

Thursday, November 8th, 2001

My daughter turned ten yesterday!! I have three daughters – 12, 10 and almost 6. My wife and I occasionaly go through our photos of being young spunky things and then having kids and watch as each photo over the years start to tell that awful truth – ……we are older!! When one of your kids turn a year older I think somewhere you feel like you turned a year older too! Of course the problem with this is that as I have three kids that means I turn a year older three times a year!!! Hey, look at the photos, they seem to mock me with truth.
What doesnt help of corse is that I auditioned recently for the lead in a TV series being shot in Australia. It was about a 35 year old man going through a divorce and dealing with life. They were constantly doing flash backs to when he and his then prospective wife were 25 and getting it on. Well the casting people loved my audition and thought I played 35/25 very bloody well…..BUT……They felt I was too old for the 25 year old flash backs (dont ask what they thought about me being the 35 year old guy, I presume they liked that). They looked at putting me in the supporting lead role of the best freind who is 40. Guess what…they said I looked too young! MMMMMMMMM…..
….too old to play young and too young to play old.
Sometime you feel like you just cant win. But that is just me feeling sorry for myself.
I am very happy being me wether they are or not. And for the love that I get from children I am happy to turn three years older every year. Three times the FUN!

do you hate your body…or

Saturday, November 3rd, 2001

do you hate your body…or does your body hate you?
do you love your body… or does your body love you?
who is prepared to take responsibility for loving who you are?!
your body… or you
or both?

Take a breath, a deep

Friday, November 2nd, 2001

Take a breath, a deep breath
how many millions of experiences can you smell
how many people have savoured that same breath
and added their own life force
exhailed with love and fear
joy and saddness
life and death
How many trees have sung it’s sweet whisper
and how many grains of sand
each a memory of it’s own
have been carried upon that breath
to a beach somewhere
to form the shore for our life to gently lap upon
and for the wandering of the seabreeze
to begin again
written march 20 2001

My appologies to those of

Friday, November 2nd, 2001

My appologies to those of you who read this page and have perhaps missed my little missives. I have been busy gardening. I love planting seeds – seeds of love, seeds of desire, seeds of future. Yes I’ve been busy working the garden plot of my life, getting rid of the weeds and planting the stuff of life. Perhaps the “Garden of Eden” is in fact our own soul? It’s an interesting thought I will contemplate on whilst doing some more weeding.
When I am in my Garden – the smell of the earth, the strength and simplicity of nature fills me with such peace and security that it allows me to travel through various trails in my mind and make some wonderful (and occassionally not so wonderful but equally important) discoveries about myself. An important discovery and a recent one was my attitude to being positive.
I am a great believer in the power of Positivity – positive thinking. But the other day I realised I was using this power of positivity as a tool to try and bend the world to an outcome I wanted – demanded. So I started to think on what being positive meant. Open. Honest. Recieving. Clear. Flexible. LOVING. In my desire to achieve a positive outcome I was being Closed, Unyeilding, Pushy, Tight, Conditional. As I write I have a big smile on my face – I can see what I must have looked like being “postive” in a negative sort of way. It was a great realisation. I guess I thought that if I was positive I would get what I wanted. But that is not necessarily the case. Who was it that said “you get what you need in life not what you want”.
You get what you need in order to become the person you are, you can be and want to be.
So what is being Positive? For me it is about smiling at all things – an inner smile perhaps. Laughing at the world from that great sense of Joy for being a part of it and being able to be thankful and grateful for being a part of all of lifes gifts – even the ones that make you cry with utter saddness. Being Positive is engaging in the dance of life, keeping up with all it’s changing tempos and allowing it to lead you. Taking joy and comfort in the dance and expressing that inner quality that is you.
POSITIVE – open, unconditional, flexible, joyous, loving, loved.
Be Positive.