Archive for September, 2002

Thats TV Folks

Saturday, September 21st, 2002

I got home after shooting Body and Soul all day in Sydney – episode number 11, it was a good day shooting went well and the stories on TV have been looking really good – anyway I got home to Melbourne, ripped the top off a Coopers and then took a phone call from the Executive Producer informing me that channel nine have pulled the show!! Yep weve been axed!!! Tomorrow they will screen episode 4 and then throw the rest in the bin.
I do not understand! the show is good. Even if they dont want to continue with it there is no reason to just dump it and all the unscreened eps?!?!?! Anyway quite unexpectedly I find myself unemployed this morning so onward and upward to the next great adventure. The producers, fox tv and murdoch press are not happy with channel nine and you never know they may get another channel to pick it up and make it the success it could be if it were supported by a station that cared!
Mmmmmmmmmm a station that cared????? Now that’s an oxymoron – but hey please prove me wrong!!!

I Live

Thursday, September 19th, 2002

Life could go any way
in this next moment
that ages past
life could change
has changed
will again
ever changing
in this next moment
the breath will expel
unforseen and unknown
leaving in its wake
hindsight
but not understanding
knowledge yet to learn
memories yet to lose
in that moment past
yet to come
I live

Life could go any way

Thursday, September 19th, 2002

Life could go any way
in this next moment
that ages past
life could change
has changed
will again
ever changing
in this next moment
the breath will expel
unforseen and unknown
leaving in its wake
hindsight
but not understanding
knowledge yet to learn
memories yet to lose
in that moment past
yet to come
I live

choice

Thursday, September 19th, 2002

The idea that being born is a painful rite of passage is brought forward to the idea that if one is going through a painful period in life, it means that one is going through change. I like it. Although I would pray also that change doesnt always have to be accompanied by pain – discomfort yes – challenging our boundaries and moving the goal posts will natuarally bring discomfort as they place us into an unknown, untested area of our lives which begs the question – will we make it? My immediate reaction is bloody oath but my equal and opposite reaction is (thankyou Einstein) I dont know.
This is something I have been juggling with over the last month or so. I believe in creating my own reality, I believe in the positive power of the universe but like a body being tossed in the surf of a big crashing wave relinquishing control is the only possesion of control we have. And if youve ever been tossed by a bloody big crashing wave it is a very terrifying experience but going along with the ride – relinquishing control is the only way to find out which way is up.
To give up that which we love is the only way of keeping it. I have a problem with this because I am a control freak – I like being in control of myself of situations of my future. I really super duper hate being under the control of others, those who dont know or dont care or at worse are too busy living thier own life unawares of mine – this is what I hate about the acting game – they make decisions that deeply affect my life and my control over those decision is intimately minute.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm…. I have been fighting off this victim mentality and please dont tell me I chose to be an actor – which I do – it’s not what I want to hear, better to tell me to chose not to be a victim.
All my talk of choice. I guess that is ultimately where control lies. We have but two choices EVER – it makes life simple – to chose or not to chose, to say yes or to say no, to accept or not etc…..
So in making a choice the next choice is to accept that choice or not – how many times have you heard some one say I had to do it I had no choice? – liar, victim – and the choice after that is to be happy or not to be happy.
No doubt we can find many reason for doing something, many pros/cons for making decisions but ultimately it all boils down to making a choice.

Salami is doing well

Monday, September 9th, 2002

The fog has lifted!! I have been a pain to live with for the last two weeks. For some reason I have been in a really bad mood – some reason I know is my lifestyle show is soon to come to an end I will be out in the big bad cold heartless world once again drifting in that purgatory of an actors lot!!! (note to self buy a big dictionary and leave in the office)
Dont feel sorry for me I have done plenty of that over the last couple of weeks!!! Done some good thinking though and will let you in on it soon. Perhaps the fog has lifted because I have an audition for a lead in a new TV drama and if I type any longer I will be late for it….
The salami is fantastic!
Lets all keep smiling:)