Archive for June, 2005

been gone but not fishing

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

Firstly let me say something I have been thinking about lately. When buying new bath towels do not buy thin ones! Over size thick towels are the way to go!
I have been away a lot working – which has been terrific – it also gives me think time as I am not with my family and spend a fair amount of time walking and talking to myself, even out loud which attracts some interesting stares when I am mid conversation at traffic lights and have not noticed other people standing nearby!
I was thinking recently about love and wether I love my wife enough. It all started because of an interview I did a couple of years ago (yes that long ago and I was still thinking about it)the one and only question was “are you in love”. I answered no which dismayed some people in the audience and this has led me to ask the next question which is do I love my wife enough. I love my wife very much, I love my kids very much and I am happy to admit I love myself but is it enough? “in love” to me is of an era that generally belongs to first love, new love etc I reckaon in marriage you have moments of being “in love” but I dont think it is a state that one can spend their entire marriage in.
Anyway I came home from this particular trip and my wife could see that I was feeling a little strange and after two days of working me over she finally got me to spill the beans about what was going on in my mind. So I told her about this issue of loving her enough and she said “yeah Ive been thinking the same” ie wether she loved me enough. Ah it is great being married. Dont know what was in the air but we had both been thinking along the same lines. The conclusion we came to is that it is important to give each other and the relationship time – something we hadnt done becasue I have been away so much and then when I am home it is chaotic in a great way but not really with much time for Husband and Wife. SO we went out on a date and it was great – just like old times, we went for a ride on the motorbike had some lunch, talked, fell in love again for a moment before having to go back out into the world of shopping and picking the kids up from school etc but we rekindled a little and that is important.
I am about to go away for a month to shoot this TV movie.Looking forward to it! Been a while since I shot a movie and played the lead although it is more a ensemble piece. Brings up all the usual insecurities: will I be good enough, will people like me, will I like them, will the director be pleased….. you know what the answer is YES – why? because I am older now and I believe in myself and that is the choice I make – all is well in my world and when it isnt as well as I would like I just work to make it better!
I dont have a computer while I am away shooting so I will have to leave you to your own thoughts for a month. I can gaurantee (who said I was a creative speller? I like that descriptor – thankyou)kids have stolen my dictionary! Oh here it is ….
Here is a thought – if you dont know how to spell a word how can you look it up in a dictionary?? The very act of looking it up in the dictionary means you have to be able to spell it out! okay found it…I can guarantee you that whilst away I will be doing lots of thinking!