Why do people who don’t know you, never had anything to do with you, why do they take the time , why do they make the effort to post aggressive, spiteful, insulting messages to you.

Okay to me.

Thankfully it doesn’t happen often but I am completely perplexed and rather angry that someone I have never met or spoken to has sent me a couple of tweets which have been abusive, insulting and aggressive.


What do they get out of it? Is it a sense of power (hiding behind their handheld media device)

What annoys me is I am angry about it, I feel like it is unfair and I want to fix it. I have done nothing wrong and yet I feel the need to sort it out?

Strange! People are weird!

It is a strange idea that some one that doesn’t know you at all has decided to not like you. I guess that is just as strange as some one who doesn’t know deciding to like you although that scenario feels a lot nicer.

Water off a ducks back – working on that – I wanted to rant and rave get them to see the error of their ways to apologise for being rude and all that….instead I just blocked them, never to be heard of or thought of again!


22 Responses to “Why?”

  1. Tim Koch says:

    Cruelty, however big or small, IS something to be angered by.

  2. Randall Schrader-Soule says:

    Hi there-

    Was just reading through a little of this. . .don’t pay it any mind when people (hidden or not) write you nasty things. . .it is envy that makes them do it. . .at least, that’s how I see it.

    Also. . .there is still a Woolworth’s? Like the five and dime Woolworth’s? or is it something else you all have in Australia?

    And. . .I have tried cooking with beer before and find it makes the things I cook seem salty. . .any idea why that might be?

    Anyway. . .

    Thanks for the blogs.


  3. Freya says:

    It’s been 11 days since you posted “Why?” so I’m not going to comment on that (never to be thought of again…).

    Could Randall’s “salty” taste actually be “savory”? Is there anything in beer that would account for that, because there doesn’t seem to be enough salt in beer to make food taste salty?

  4. Freya says:

    For some reason, I woke up this morning thinking about the “Why” post, and felt I did want to comment: I’m sorry you had to go through that.

  5. Paul says:

    Hi Randall sorry for taking so long to reply. Thank you for your words of support! Yes we have Woolworths here which started in Australia back in 1924. I do not know if it is the five and dime store you know – I am thinking probably not.

    Regarding cooking with beer and finding it salty I have never found that and I have cooked a lot with beer – I hope you have seen my cook book “Cooking with Beer” – I sold 20 000 copies in America!

    Some brewers do add salt to there beer when they are brewing them – I do not know the full reason behind that. Perhaps some of the beer you have cooked with is from a brewer that adds salt to their brew kettle? Have you cooked with a variety of beers and still found this? Are you adding salt to your dishes as you cook? If you want to send me a recipe you are doing I will have a look at it and see if there is any advice further I can give but in the meantime perhaps try using a different craft beer for the dish and see if you get the same result.

    Freya thank you for your words also.

    I got flamed again recently (since writing this original post) and I still don’t understand why people bother but you know I just delete or block and keep on doing what I do – I live from the heart.

  6. Paul says:

    one more thing – if you taste the beer you are going to cook with and it doesn’t taste salty then it is not going to add a salty character to the dish. If you boil beer you will accentuate the bitterness which could cause you to feel that on your tongue as a salty character when in fact it is a bitter character.

  7. Paul says:

    This could explain it: Umami.

    thanks Wikipedia for the explanation:

    Scientists have debated whether umami was a basic taste since Kikunae Ikeda first proposed its existence in 1908.[7] In 1985, the term umami was recognized as the scientific term to describe the taste of glutamates and nucleotides at the first Umami International Symposium in Hawaii.[8] Umami represents the taste of the amino acid L-glutamate and 5’-ribonucleotides such as guanosine monophosphate (GMP) and inosine monophosphate (IMP).[9] It can be described as a pleasant “brothy” or “meaty” taste with a long lasting, mouthwatering and coating sensation over the tongue. The sensation of umami is due to the detection of the carboxylate anion of glutamate in specialized receptor cells present on the human and other animal tongues.[10] [11] Its effect is to balance taste and round out the overall flavor of a dish. Umami enhances the palatability of a wide variety of foods.[12] Glutamate in acid form (glutamic acid) imparts little umami taste, whereas the salts of glutamic acid, known as glutamates, can easily ionize and give the characteristic umami taste. GMP and IMP amplify the taste intensity of glutamate.[11][13]

    So perhaps Randall you are very perceptive to the Umami character in foods?

  8. Melinda says:

    Hi Paul,

    I’ve learnt that you can not please everyone. And nor should you try to. Please the people who you want to and the others (particularly who don’t even know you) either like you, or not.

    I honestly don’t know why people take the time to be nasty, particularly online.. but you know what, for every person who says things like that – there’s 20 others that will always have something nice to say and always have your back.

    Smile at the knowledge that you make a LOT of people very happy. I’ll be happy to remind you anytime 😉

    Keep up the great work!! 😀 x

  9. Hi Paul, if this should reach you I am just writing to say my husband and I watched “Joseph” last night (yet again) and can’t think that anyone could have done a better job than you did in that role. I saw you dance on YouTube today and have about decided you were (and perhaps still are) the absolute handsomest man I have ever seen. I live in the US so haven’t seen your cooking show (anyway we don’t have TV) but am just sending you greetings and best wishes to you and your family in the new year 2014. I am a portrait artist and would like to do your portrait if you forward a picture. This is not to solicit your business but would just be an enjoyable thing to do. See my portfolio at the website I included in the info section of this message. I used to teach ballroom dance (with about 1% of your talent) so greatly admired your command and skill. Wish I could see some ballet. Anyway, please don’t bother yourself about rude people who likely have none of the multitude of gifts you have. People these days are hurt, angry, and out of control and act out as a sign they need help. Say a little prayer and forget it. Rachel VC

  10. Clair (from the UK) says:

    Hi Paul

    Just wanted to wish you and your family a merry Christmas and all the best for 2014!

    Love Clair. X


  11. Pauline van Dyk says:

    There are beings out there who know how to feed off other people’s negative emotions.
    Always stay positive mate and give them nothing from yourself. Miss your shows on the telly.
    Merry Christmas and very happy and positive 2014 to you, your family and all the beings who have taken the time to respond positively to your site.

    Pauline xx

  12. Jenny says:

    i have worked as a psych nurse and there are all kinds of jerky people out there, including sociopaths. Nice ones too, fortunately.
    someone lent us “Strictly Ballroom”and i watched it earlier this evening. i quite enjoyed it, including, of course, your dancing. I live in the States so i don’t see you on TV.
    i always wanted to go to Australia when i was younger. now that we’ve got “House Hunters International”, etc., i realize just how different Australia is, the climate, the flora and fauna, etc. (I live in New England where it gets pretty cold and of course we have snow on the ground now.)
    i once saw an episode in New Zealand which made me want to move there. it showed this cute A-frame house and right behind the backyard was a paved path through some kind of nature preserve; that made me want to go there! what part of australia do you live in? and how would you classify the climate? is it true that people don’t really live in the interior of the continent? i always wonder just how much is “civilized” and how much is desolate. also how different or similar is the culture, music, everyday life, etc.
    take care.

  13. Dean Jones says:

    I find that anymore, you just cannot read the comments posted. (He said Ironically posting a comment.) It seems that anymore, I read anything online, no matter what the subject matter, and someone is making hatefull ugly posts, and it makes me sad. As a species I know we are better than this. I wouldn’t take it personally, although that’s really hard to do.

  14. Mari-Jean Melissa says:

    So nice to drop in and see your nice life and family continue happily. A few years ago when I was writing one of the charter school apps, I had time to check in regularly. We traded recipes. I think I sent mustard greens n pot likker, part of our southern New Years’ meal, or possibly swamp cabbage. Now I am home from school to spend this year with my Mama as she moves toward passing. A cousin described this process as time stopping.

    I am glad the entry up when I checked in was about your frustration with trolls. As others have said and you have found, it is becoming a past-time to say horrendous things, not so much because they don’t like the person (don’t take it personally) but because of the anonymity character of the interaction and because it gets attention.

    One of my daughters makes her living on media, including Youtube. She is just beginning and can still read all her comments and respond as needed. Her friend who has done Youtube for several years has over a million subs and too many comments to manage. But Jesse Sage has fun, clean vlogs that young girls can watch and model after. There is not bad language/behavior in the content and none allowed in the comments. She will say so the first time someone trolls, block the comment the second and forever block the member if it happens again.

    The good thing that happened is that subs belong because they like the fun but kind nature of the content. Now, if someone trolls, the subs will police it themselves and say, “we don’t do that here”.

    I agree. Block and ignore. And let it go! Life is too short to give your energy to someone who has chosen to be negative. They probably need kindness, but on-line is not the forum where you can make much difference.

    Thanks for your time and energy you share. Oh, and loved Erin’s new song. I passed it on.


    Mari-Jean Melissa

  15. Freya says:

    Hey Paul, didn’t you just have a birthday!!! Happy Birthday, a little late.

    I recently bought the Strictly Ballroom DVD and enjoyed watching the movie again. The audio commentary was a bit of a yawn-fest, so I couldn’t finish the movie with it on. The only good part was when they mentioned that you filmed a dance scene with a sprained ankle – absolutely fascinating! : )

    Thanks for looking into the salty beer taste! One of these days I’ll buy one of your cook books from Amazon. Do you have a cookbook yet for busy mom’s who like to make one pot dishes for picky eaters?

    I wish somebody would write a cook book that starts with a recipe for a really good chicken broth using a whole chicken, then gives numerous ways to use that cooked chicken in various soups, rice dishes, mexican dishes, salads, etc. Maybe using pre-cooked chicken in dishes isn’t that appealing for a professional cook, but it is appealing to me because it saves time. Also, if a dish freezes well, that is awesome – generally I don’t freeze any chicken dishes except for soups, which make great lunches at work.

    Back to the main thought: Hope your birthday was happy and best wishes for the next year of your life!

  16. Maren says:

    May I just do the opposite and leave something positive even though we are complete strangers and have never met? I had such a crush on you after seeing “Strictly Ballroom” back then that I tried to get my parents to emigrate to Australia.
    Last weekend, my husband got your “Cooking with Beer” book, and it took me back… we’ll certainly try those recipes, they do sound delicious and we’re living in Germany, after all.

    Good luck with your future projects!

  17. Vanda Bubear says:

    Hello Paul, from Wales, UK. I just watched Strictly Ballroom. You’re an amazing dancer! Thanks for giving us so much enjoyment through your dance xxx

  18. April kaiser says:

    Those kind of people have low self esteem and their not happy unless they see your not

  19. Kevin says:

    I just watched your movie “Strictly Ballroom” at school and it was awesome. Good job.

  20. kell says:

    Whatever the reason, it might be different for each person that does it, it’s nothing to dwell on, their issue not yours.

  21. Mary says:

    Hi Paul,

    Mary here from Nashville, Tennessee, USA. I Had to comment even though this post is not recent. I had heard of Strictly Ballroom but saw it for the first time today, and loved it. You were fantastic!! The dancing was enchanting and the intense looks were swoonworthy. I loved everything about it so much that I had to look you up. I don’t know you much better than random hateful people (though I have to assume they haven’t seen SB or looked you up themselves, or otherwise how could they be so hateful? They’d be charmed instead), but I wanted to say anyway that on top of being obviously very talented, you seem like a kind and interesting person. Remember that when others are hurtful, it’s about them, not you.
    Stay gold Paul!!

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