What’s your definition of easy?
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Your response to the last post…that’s easy…
Laughing is easy…Spontaneous activity is easy…Eating is easy…Sex is easy…Activities that generate pleasure are easy…even those that just provide relief…you know taking a leak…too much gas a little fart…
I’d still really like to know how an actor does a love scene without “overreacting” without like taking a shot that strippers take to prevent reactions. Geez..if you don’t want to post it here email me…I’ve always wanted to know how you guys do that. Because to me that’s a definition of something that’s probably not easy. Being butt naked would be way to much for most people anyway…
HEY this is a first for me…a first post..WOW
It’s 7:24am here so it must be 11:24pm there. Hmmm. You guys have a great rest of your evening and a good day tomorrow.
Wow that was really uncanny…while I was posting my comment above you were actually answering my last question. DUDE!!
So maybe your response was NOT that easy..LOL
Your children sound wonderful. I’m sure you are extremely proud of them…well I know you are. How could they not turn out great with you as their dad and their wonderful mother. She should post sometime…I’m sure she reads this stuff.
Of course I’ve read your stuff on balance…I was just suggesting something completely off the wall. Like perfection…too out there huh?
My wife and I discuss hardships all the time…it’s about to signal a divorce…we’re sickof each other..however, yesterday my mother in law gave my wife a picture of the two of us she took while we were dating. We were all cozied up together at the breakfast table. I was laughing and Laurie (my wife)was whispering something in my ear. Looking at it I could remember how absolutely in love I was at the time and how incredibly wonderful that feeling was. My stomach used to literally ache if I didn’t see her every day. We were inseparable. And now…we work very hard to not separate. That’s another definition of what is NOT easy.
Thanks for the response..
Really wild we posted at the same time..
HEY great minds think alike or at the same time.
That was a lovely message Paul and your daughters do sound like a fascinating group of girls. National Geographic is a wonderful magazine for archeology enthusiasts. I wish I could have learned the piano. You sound like a great dad.
Tim your post made me laugh when I read your list of easy things! Don’t hold back.
I too want to know the answer to your question about the complexities of fake sex on film. I read about one individual who had the potential problem you mentioned and they just laughed about it when it “popped up”.
I just saw a segment on tap dancing. If somone tapes your performance with your son, I’d love to see it! Do you know anyone who knows how to make and put Quicktime movies on the internet?
I’ve got to run. I’ll think about the easy things and list them later. Thanks for starting a new thread Paul.
Good morning Grandma!
Paul…It is my experience that NOTHING really is or comes easy. Things that come easy are things that I am skilled or practiced at. Things I try to make easy are in the lap of the gods – a toss up! Linda
I disagree with you, Tim – sex is not easy. It’s a skill, and you have to work hard at it. (At least it is for women!) Of course, that does not mean it is not fun.
Laughing is easy for the one who laughs, but not for the one who made him laugh.
Eating is not easy. Especially not for people trying to lose weight. It comes with all sorts of baggage: counting calories, obsessing over food, guilt…
Nothing worth the effort is ever easy.
First off, I believe that we all owe you a debt of gratitude for taking the time to read and answer some of the over 200 posts! That was a herculean task (just the scrolling down was a job!) Thank you for your kindness, patience, and your insight! No wonder we love you!
The “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” and it’s no wonder that your children are showing interest in the performing arts. Their lives will always be enriched by the experiences!
My mother used to say: “Parents should always be proud of their children, but children should always be proud of their parents also!”
Tim: The reversals of fortune can play havoc in any marriage, but separation can be worse. Even today, after so many years together, I still am uneasy when Elliott leaves the house alone to go on an errand. I usually go with him, to “watch his haircut” and he, with me, to my nail place “to watch the polish dry.”
Hang in there, Tim. Things are bound to get better…”one day at a time!”
Easy is whatever-it-is that comes naturally to you.
In my case: contagious laughter; feeling sympathy; reading people’s intent. They are all very easy and come naturally to me. I was born with these tendencies, and thus, they are “easy” for me.
Is easy the opposite of “difficult”? That’s another philosophical question. Again, on the degree thing… the two extremes of the “same” concept. The concept, then, is “work”…what one must do forcibly and with intent to achieve a goal.
Easy is where the hard stuff leads.
For example, my mornings used to suck, big time. I was cranky, I couldn’t find anything, I was often late. So I took some time to organize the things I needed, and develop a workable schedule. Now my mornings are easy, but getting there took some work.
Some of the best fun I have in life is identifying what’s hard, and getting to easy.
Innussiq, where are you? Damaris? Diane?
Great to hear from Dhiana again – it’s been a while.
I posted the easy question in response to a discussion my wife and I were having. The idea we find something hard – maybe even impossibly hard – when in fact it is easy. The hard part is our idea of the task ahead, the idea of how much pain we will endure, having to face the possibility of failure, of having to reveal ourselves to ourself and admit the fear we feel. It is about comfort zones and stepping out of them, making changes and sticking to them and coming to terms regarding how things have become and then deciding to reverse them.
Nothing is easy – yep I agree. Easy is what comes naturally – yep I agree. Easy the opposite to difficult (hard) Yep, one in the same, the ying and yang – I reckon so. Love the idea that easy is where the hard stuff leads!!
You dont get nothing for nothing. The hard work out to lose the pounds – easy to put on your old jeans. The hard hours writing code – the easy look of your web site etc
Whats easy for me? Mmmmm the easy stuff is easy, the hard stuff is hard. I just try to approach them with the same kind of attitude. That is if its easy, make it hard and if its hard make it easy!!
Got to go to work!! Easy to go , hard to face!
I find myself thinking along the same lines as Dhiana. For me, easy is what comes naturally. Success seems to come from developing the things that we do well through education, experience or both. That’s where easy can get hard, but as my grandmother always said, anything worth having is worth working for.
Paul, I’m glad you and your wife have these sort of conversations. Good subject for a thread. I’m enjoying reading the posts.
Tim, I posted that annoying study that explains why things grow cold in relationships. Maybe you read it? Do you and your wife have any common interests you could develop? Speaking from the female perspective, I always wanted my partner to be my best friend. Even among my friends, I find a motivation of shared interests bringing us together. Can you tell us a little about Laurie?
We’ll I’ve got to get on this elliptical thang. I’ll see everyone later. Great posts!
good night Grandma
Easy….mmm! well I think easy is what was hard once that you worked and worked on and then made easy by all the hard work that you put in to it, easy is hard work! easy is something you do really well that not everyone can do, but you can do it because it comes easy to you! Paul that was a good one!! what about defining hard!???? lol
Whitney, Hey, I have to draw a portrait using Forshadowing, have you done that before? its due on Thursday and all I can think of is having a someone’s hand coming out!
hope everyone is doing wonderfully!! have a good week!! love
sometimes smiling is easy, sometimes it’s not.
basically, i agree with paul. i think it’s your/our/my perception of the circumstance AND our emotinal/mental state at the time that determine ease or difficulty.
Hey Paul, Whitney, Grandma (gee I feel funny calling you that, my mom is 15 years older than you!)
Whitney, do you think that the elliptical machine is easy? I sure didn’t. I tried last week at the YMCA. I could only do it for a couple of minutes!! The next time, only 4, the next time one of the ladies told me to “slow down”. That was a concerted effort but it made all the difference. I went this morning at 5:oo am YIKES!! and was on the machine for 22 minutes!!! I burned 250 calories!!! YEAH. That was easy. Getting up at 4:45 after waking up all night…now THAT was hard!!!!! I’m glad I did it though.
As far as “easy”, I agree with Dhiana. What comes most naturally is easy. For me, laughter, a smile, a compliment, a service. I have to really work at the hard stuff. Patience, intently listening, study, saying no. Those things are hard for me….
Love to you all,
A short thread is easy.
Hello all. So sorry I have been negligent. I just caught up on reading the posts last night and tonight I discover I have been missed, Paul you are wonderful. I would like to add a big happy new year to all our “listers” and also my thanks to Cat for making this fabulous home on the web.
Now, “easy”…well, making mistakes is easy. Taking the most wonderful things in life for granted is easy. Getting caught up in your own little world is easy. Making an ass of yourself is easy. The path to the Dark Side of the Force is easy (re-read as making an ass of yourself). So, all of that leads me to agree with the idea that the best things in life are hard, to one degree or another. Love is hard, oh the falling is easy it’s the maintenance that’s hard. Parenting, friendship, work, saving, living and yes even sex, are all hard (no pun intended). But, if it were all easy it would be easy to devalue. So lift a glass to difficult, we’d all be bored to death (pun intended) without it.
Repeatedly drawing a blank here….. hmmm …. but procrastinating is easy; things that are fun are easy for me to follow through on, keep doing; laughing, listening, cooking, baking, are just a few of the things that are easy for me; other things get easier with practise and repetition, such as exercising, learning new things (drawing, languages, writing etc.); sometimes simply getting started makes a project go easier rather than being afraid of it and putting it off; knowing what the end result is or what I want the outcome to be makes things easier, as I then have a goal towards which to strife rather than blindly tapping around in darkness. Not knowing where I’m going usually scares me, occasionally it excites me, but just occasionally. I think a lot of it is in my head in terms of what I decide is easy or hard/difficult, oftentimes when I reverse what I have labeled as “difficult” in my mind, that makes it so much easier to do. I really like Cat’s belief that “easy is where the hard stuff leads.”
Tim, I’m so sorry to hear about the tension you and your wife are experiencing. Can’t give you any marital advice, but perhaps share something from my parents’ marriage. When they were married for about 20 years, they hit a crisis in their marriage and tensions were really high, they rarely talked to each other, mostly exchanged angry words etc. I remember thinking many times “Why the hell don’t they just get it over with, get a divorce and take us all out of our misery?” I’m really glad that they didn’t and while it took them about 2 years to reconcile, they did reconcile and had the best relationship ever afterwards. Was that easy? Definitely not, but I think the outcome made many things easier/easy for them in the way they were able to relate to each other with a new found respect and appreciation for each other. How did they do it? I have no idea. They did keep most of their conflicts away from us kids, but I guess also how they worked through it. I think I might just have to ask Mum about that one, I always wanted to know, but never had the guts to ask her. It seemed to be a topic that was off-limits and perhaps still is. Part of their conflict definitely had to do with religion, but I think when they found a common basis in their faith and beliefs again, they were able to rebuild their marriage. I let you draw your own conclusions from this, since I don’t know what the conclusion should be for you. But I want you to know that I will be thinking of you and your wife and wishing you the best possible outcome for your marriage, whatever that will be. Only you and your wife can decide that.
Take care everyone!
dang…Not an easy question asked
Seems like all things are difficult before they become easy or some quotation like that….
ah, tim…you stirred up some great memories for me…pit in stomach, kiss on the neck..touching, always touching…i remember it well…the passion is still there, just a little quieter..but still my best friend ever…
the posts are awesome…thanks for the reads…
Thanks for the comments Grandma and Evelyn. Laurie and I have been on the outs for some time..I know we just had a baby last August…just because you’re on the outs doesn’t mean you don’t hop in the sack once in awhile or floor or couch..wherever the kids are not.
Anyway, odd that you mention religion Evelyn as that is the primary culprit of our problems at the moment. Not only do we have the financial crisis…which feels like it’s at the point of no return(but I keep “facing work,” as Paul said,) however we also have a religious issue..which is NOT negotiable with my wife. Here’s a great easy/hard lesson.
I grew up with the same religious beliefs as my wife. I was always wishy washy with it. I’m not a religious person. Anyway we get married. I’m always on the outskirts of the religion but doing enough to get by. Then we have kids…well she starts pushing me to do more. NOT interested. I do for awhile, but it’s just not for me. Then my mom dies and all hell breaks loose in my head. I don’t believe anything anymore. I’ve been sober since 1989 so I start smoking and I’m put on all these anti depressants and mood altering drugs and I just royally don’t give a shit. While I was in school I had a little thing/fling (3 encounters) with an acquantance. I’m not pulling a Bill Clinton here, it was sex and wrong but we didn’t have intercourse I just couldn’t go that far..just oral stuff…TMI? Anyway that hurt ME. I’ve never said anything. Because at that point I had been excommunicated from the church. If my wife had that information including she was pissed at me for the career change and my mental state in jeopardy she would have divorced me and gotten full custody with no visitation. And having been excommunicated no one would talk to me. So I lived in hell for just over a year. As I got fatter and fatter and more miserable I decided to (easy) give in and get back into the religion so my kids wouldn’t think their dad was a total mess. The people at the church were convincing them I was not a capable father. How do I fight that? It’s like a cult…But I can’t DO it anymore. And it is a WALL between my wife and I. I would tell her about the screwup but it’s been 3 years and it’s just opening another Pandora’s box. Leave the rattle snake in the cage. As far as her family and she are concerned they would send me out to sea without a paddle. I don’t deserve that. She changed a lot too. The longer we’ve been married the more religious she has gotten. So it’s like growing in separate directions. We used to enjoy things together…now we just work, keep up the house, shuffle the kids around, raise them with the best of our ability to be great people. There you have it my sordid past. I hate myself for my past actions. It was very wrong. I fell into my Dad’s footsteps except he was a frequent offender. I swore to myself I’d never do that to my wife, hmph easy to say. The Hard part is dealing the with reality when you eat your words. They taste like shit.
I know I’m a dog…kick me, hate me, whatever…I fell down..
Signing on here at night to read your thoughts. I can say what I feel here. You guys listen and repond how you feel You guys only say what you mean. I respect that. I like it a lot. As a result of this religious thing..I basically have no friends. The people I work with are it. My wife’s friends are only from the church and they don’t really like to do things with me because I’m “inactive.” I have no one to talk to. I used to have friends in the church that would call me from time to time…a long time ago. I never get phone calls at my house for me. Seriously..never..only bill collectors who can all go to hell. I’m on two chat boards this one and another board where I can talk freely. That’s why in another post I said I felt like Paul was a friend and every one else too. We communicate. We don’t take each other for granted…Paul was looking for people he hadn’t heard from to respond in his last post. People debate.
So like I said in my first post…easy is spontaneous reactions to things. The road travelled most where the tire treads are already imprinted and you don’t have to make a path. Hard is trying to make your life’s journey stay on that path without hitting to many curbs and going off the road into the woods or a lake or something.
Hugs to everyone.
I got my DVD and CD of SB today. That put an EASY smile on my face. Thanks again to Cat for the board and Paul for being who he is.
By the actions of your church members I have a pretty good idea which faith you belong to. I wish I had a verse right off the top of my head, but I don’t . I will pray for you and most especially for you wife. I’m gonna go get my Bible….
I agree with Innussiq about what is easy and not so easy. I make making an ass out of myself look very easy but it also makes for funny stories. It seems so easy for people to get caught up in the grind that they forget what easy feels like for things to be easy. I think, Tim, that it happens quite frequently in marriage. You focus on the kids or in your wifes case religion. In my opinion one of the not easiest things in the world is staying married to the same person your whole life. But it’s really just like anything else there are just as many good things as bad. I wouldn’t consider myself religious at all but I believe in the divine forces that are at work every moment and I don’t believe in forcing anyone to to anything. That’s not religion its control.
I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t been able to keep up with all the conversation. I finally graduated Sunday, but cut out early after I got my diploma and went gambling with my family. A little preview of the Vegas Trip next week. Oh yeah my graduation gift from everyone is another trip to Vegas in March to go to a 5 hour seminar with John Edwards, the world famous psychic. Very exciting. My aunt’s saw him at a shorter seminar last year here in St. Louis and my Dad came through. Mr. Edwards had many exciting things to say. One was that my dad wanted to let me know he would be there when I graduated, so that was comforting to know. How he could have just guessed the things he said would have been next to impossible. I’m very excited about the seminar. Not expecting just excited.
Love to everyone,
easy..hugging my children, giggling,smiling, looking at a sunset, smelling fresh mist of morning, watching the cat sunbath, emotions, making a list and forgetting it.
easy, my husband says he’s easy..LOL
Most people would like things that are only easy. Or would we? Just think of all the words we would lose out of our beloved dictionary if we only had EASY. The first word to go would be HARD. Appreciate,accomplish. I don’t think I would feel the full value of everything if it all came EASY. Probably would have to take out the word NOT too. If it’s NOT EASY than it’s HARD.
Tim, I was brought up attending church during week days and on every Sunday. However I don’t believe you have to go to church to be a good person. Some people do go to church only because they think they are paying there dues. Those people don’t practice what they preach. Going to church doesn’t make you a christian any more than does you standing in your garage make you a car. I’m sorry you and your wife are going through some rough times.
Sallie, congrats on your diploma. Way to go!! You go have fun in Vegas! Lucky you getting to go see John Edwards. Please keep us filled in on the outcome.
Okay, Okay, I think I really do need some sleep.:)
I’m going to do it EASY this time ..kick
I personally think anything that’s easy is either not worth the time or is not very good for you. Everything worth it takes some amount of effort or sacrifice. Smoking a cigarette is easy. Playing the Sims for 3 days stright is easy. Everything worth it hurts sometime.
When you mentioned the fact that going to work was “easy to go, hard to face” my heart just sank,
for haven’t we all experienced a bit of that in our lives?
I therefore, have decided to share some information with you, and if you already are aware of this, please excuse my excitement over the possibilities.
I read a big article on Baz Luhrmann in November’s
issue of “Vogue” magazine. He talked about the trials and tribulations of bringing the opera “La Boheme” to the Broadway stage. LB has turned out to be huge success…for now. Ticket sales must remain brisk for months in order for it to be called a real success!
You wrote that Baz Luhrmann did not return your calls. That, in my opinion, was terribly rude and heartless, considering that without you and Tara, his first film, “Strictly Ballroom” would have gone into obscurity…now Baz is planning to bring it to the Broadway stage!
My point: His next film project is “Alexander The Great” an epic to be filmed in Morocco, but if there is more heightened strife in the Middle East, the filming might be moved to Australia!
May I suggest something that is not “easy” but hard to resist…contacting Baz again, maybe personally or through your agent, about work in these projects?
Maybe the fact that he seemed to ignore your calls could be that he was unaware of them, or moving around the world on his quest for new talent, he did not get the messages, or was not told about them by some assistant…I suggest it’s worth another try!
Was this suggestion “easy” to give to you? No, I had to retype it 2 times, and hope you take it as a token of my caring, respect, and love for you and your family!
Tim: I discussed your post with my husband, and his first question was: “How old is Tim?” and when I told him, he said, “Ah, ha, another example of a midlife crisis.” True or not, Tim,
we are all concerned, and we send our best wishes!
The story that Evelyn recounted about her own parents could be an encouragement. No marriage can be perfect, for people are not perfect! Ours had some bumps in the beginning, (yes, our own midlife crisis) but “we’re still here” and the not-so easy times are memories we put behind us years ago.
I would say, put the pain and anger of the past behind, and if professional help is needed, get it! It’s the present and the future that matter.
Just remember that you have the best wishes of your friends on Paul’s Corner!
Here’s a special song for you, Tim. The lyrics are like poetry, written by Cole Porter, (who else?) I dedicate this to you and your wife.
The title: EASY TO LOVE
You’d be so easy to love,
So easy to idolize
All others above,
So worth the yearning for,
So swell to keep the home fires burning for,
We’d be so grand at the game,
So carefree together,
That it does seem a shame,
That you can’t see,
Your future’s with me,
‘Cause you’d be so oh,
So easy to love!
Thanks all for the supportive comments. I’ll take them to heart. Grandma I’m 42 and will be 43 in July. Yes it’s definitely a midlife crisis thing but it doesn’t make it any easier. Suz, I don’t think organized religion is the answer either. Margie..I don’t belong to anything. I got back “in” just to be able to converse with my inlaws…living in the shadows is pathetic and not an acceptable way for my children to see me treated. I’m just not ex-communicated now. Hell I don’t care…it’s Jehovahs Witnesses…They have their own lingo and everything…too much detail just believe me when I say now I don’t have any real faith…I think there must be something divine or maybe that’s just because it’s been DRILLED into me my entire life. I don’t know. I wish I knew. It would be comforting to feel like I knew where my mother was…although after she died I’ve had a “feeling” that’s she’s been there for me. A significant presence. Thanks again to you guys for listening to me and letting me vent.
Sallie..Congratulations on graduation. Now that is an accomplishment and as pointed out before where would that word be if everything were easy. College was an accomplishment for me as well. Lots of HARD work. I had to work part time and full time. I had to pay for most of it myself. I went to a commuter school in downtown Atlanta..no dorms or on-campus housing so I had to keep up my apartment not just a room. Cook, clean, laundry, bills, the works all at 19. Not complaining…it’s just part of life but it certainly wasn’t EASY.
I agree with you Grandma…the way Paul said work was easy to go to and hard to face was definitely said with a hint of anguish. I could feel the, “God please tell me this isn’t it.” reeking from it. I also appreciated your forthrightness in proposing to Paul something that maybe HARD to do, but could be great move. Only he can find out and know whether or not that is a valid consideration. I’m certainly not one to judge or decide. Those kinds of decisions are presented to us and we have to see if it is practicable or not.
Have a great day you guys…
Tim, I’m feeling a bit awkward after reading your post, since (as so many times before) I have stumbled upon a sensitive topic. Thank you for sharing your life story though, can’t have been easy. I might respond to a few other things later, but right now I just want to say, I do understand a lot of what you describe, the pressure to perform to a church’s expectations and being isolated and cut off when you don’t, being excommunicated etc. I have experienced that too and it makes developing a healthy self-esteem incredibly difficult. I actually consider being thrown out of the church I was raised in one of my prouder accomplishments in life, but I’m saying that from a perspective of at least 12 years after it happened. I had a lot of time to heal and re-build my life. But most importantly, I want to say, DO NOT HATE YOURSELF for your mistakes/failures!!!! We all make mistakes and do things that we regret, that’s part of being human. Hating yourself for it will not get you anywhere. It only holds you back and destroys you. I think you need to accept your past actions, accept how they have shaped you, they are part of who you are or have become, but they do not have to run your life. You are still in control of your own life, it might not feel that way, but you are. FORGIVE YOURSELF, accept and move on!!! I know that that can be very difficult, but I also know how freeing it is when you get there. And one more thing, and then I have to get ready to go to work, I don’t think there’s much you can do to change your church’s perspective on whether or not they consider you a capable father. I can only imagine how much that must hurt. I saw that in my Dad, who also was attacked quite frequently for not controlling us and keeping us in line with church doctrine, but for allowing us to become independent, free-thinking young ladies [Thank you, Dad!!! I love you!!!!!] You are a capable father, or else you probably wouldn’t stick around for your kids and do all the things with them that you do, like tap dancing, getting in shape for yourself and them, providing for them as best as you can, not giving up. If you weren’t a capable father, you probably would let your wife and the chruch take care of them and do your own thing. Being there for them and allowing them to become great people, teaching them not to accept everything in blind faith (which it sounds like is the strategy of your church), is one of the greater gifts you can give your children. They might not understand it now, but they will in time. Here’s a hug to you!!!!
A PS: Tim, it bugs me that I keep using “your church” when it very clear that you don’t consider yourself to be part of it, but I just don’t know how else to put it. Now that you said which one it is (while I was typing my response to you) it definitely is not the church I grew up in, even though they do sound very similar to me in their closing themselves off, legalism etc.
Sallie, congratulations on graduating. How does it feel? Enjoy Vegas Trips one and two.
Paul, how did it go at work? I too felt the anguish, already mentioned, in your comment. I’m not looking forward to going to work today either. My pathetic co-workers are back from Christmas break today and quite frankly, I did not miss them one nanasecond the last few weeks while I was working on my own. That was rather nice, but I decided to try to find a positive outlook and attitude for today and if not I’m going to be visualizing all sort of beautiful places in my mind and go there for stress relief.
Have a great day everyone!
Kelli, are you sure you don’t mean foreshortening? I just explained that to my students yesterday. During the Renaissance, artists developed linear perspective for buildings, but to represent people, they used a window-like grid that they looked through. It allowed them to copy the image, square by square from the grid to the paper.
My dog needs OUT. I’ll have to read more later. Everyone have a super fine day; you deserve one!!!!
Good morning Grandma!
innussiq: making an ass of myself is indeed easy. but the beauty of it is that i make it look hard good to “see” you again.
Good afternoon, Whitney,
Hey, all you lovers of song, dance, music, drama, out there, (I guess that includes everyone or you wouldn’t be on this site!)
I just got some easy-to-take news from the Recreation Director!
I was informed that our new theatre is finally opening tomorrow night!! The first show will be a fine arts program, a pianist!
That means we will soon be getting our schedule for our “Follies” rehearsals on the new stage…hip, hip, hurray!!
Now, wasn’t THAT easy???
A Happy Grannie
I want you to hear this: You are a good man! You are growing and learning as a human on this planet. Honor your journey, but more importantly honor your SELF. The past is gone and only the lessons remain. Take what you need and throw the rest to the wind.
I’m wondering if attending church is really a good thing for you or as an example to your kids. Maybe pursuing your own truth while being supportive of your wife in hers (while gritting your teeth) would be a better way to go. The kids have their mother as an example of someone who is following a religion, maybe you could be an example of someone who makes hard choices. Someone who isn’t afraid to go down the road less traveled. Do you ever get time to just be quiet by yourself? Is that something you could do while they are at church?
I guess what I’m trying to say is this…you can’t control this church or your wife. They write their own story. You can however work on yourself, maybe just learning to be at peace with where you are. Are the friendships from the church meaningful to you? Are they worth it? Again, don’t sell yourself short. You have everyone here, and as you feel better about who you are, opportunities for friendship will come along.
I think leaving a religion can be likened to letting go of a trapeze. It’s really scary at first to go without something that has been woven into the fabric of your life. Sometimes we feel the need to grab onto any other trapeze available, to feel like we “belong” to something. I’m beginning to realize that flying free can be truly wonderful. Trust what you know in your heart to be true. Remember, the path to holiness lies through questioning EVERYTHING!
I guess I just wanted to say that by working on yourself, getting to know your own truth, and being at peace with who you are, is the best thing you can do for you and your family. The ripples you create by doing this might bring you closer, or not. At least you will know that you stayed true to yourself and what you believe. It all starts from within.
Peace and love to you,
Michelle in Chicago
Way to go Margie! I do 20 minutes a session on the elliptical, but I confess, I haven’t been increasing the resistance of my trainer. The Body For Life challenge wants me to, but the Hiltonhead program doesn’t require it. If it starts getting too easy I may crank it up a notch, tension wise, but as long as I break an adequate sweat and get my heart rate up, I’m just happy to be doing it twice a day. I’ve done 20 minutes already this morning.
I’d better post this. My computer keeps freezing up and I don’t want to lose this response. I’ll read more and post later.
Have I already said good morning to you Grandma?
One quick post as I just read one of your messages Tim.
I don’t hide the fact that I have a belief system, however, I’m not into attending church or practising organized religion. I’m not putting it down; it’s just not for me. I attended church to sit beside my grandmother, to hear her pray and sing. Now she’s dead. I’m still exploring my spirituality, but I do it my way, For me, that includes the Bible, though I believe that in all probablility, it’s been tampered with and there’s a lot of sexism in it as well. I’m sorting this out for myself. Can’t Laurie let you sort it out in your own way? I’ve often thought I wanted a “believer” mate, but the fear of getting a religous robot scares me. Is she fanatical?
And on the slip up: that’s a tough one that most of us won’t comment on. I’m torn on what I would want if you were my husband. Part of me would want to know so that we could go beyond it and part of me couldn’t forget, so maybe I would be better off not knowing.
When I was last dating (oh so long ago) I asked my boyfriend to do one thing for me. If he had sex with someone else, tell me. I felt that in this age of sexually transmitted diseases, the least he could do was give me this potentially life saving knowledge.
I think it’s important for two people to acknowledge that they will form short lived attractions to other people over the many years of their relationship. It’s natural. If you’re up front about it before anything happens, maybe it can be averted. Remember: such a crush will fade too.
And on a closely related topic, there was a segment on a tv show this morning that talked about the intimacy aspect of unfaithfulness. More specifically, how it’s equally wrong to be closer emotionally, even if not physically, with someone besides your partner. I had a boyfriend like that once. Ah, the joys of celibacy!
Well, hello Paul and everyone…
I must say there is a lot of good conversations going on. I don’t know where to start… I really just skinmmed through some of the posts so I apologize if I misinterpret something or attribute a quote to the wrong person. Of course as I skimmed my name popped out at me, so Paul thank you for asking where some of us have been. I have been busy with kids and work and just have popped in and out of here without responding.
As far as things being easy… Sometimes things seem like they are never easy. That is until you live through it and you look back and say “Hey, that wasn’t so bad after all.”…
Of course excuses, accusations… all the hurtfull bad things always seem to come easy. And sorry, I don’t know who said it, but everything takes effort. If you want something done right you have to put some elbow grease in it…. okay okay that’s not how it goes ..
But, like someone else said if you put some effort into something you appreciate it more.
As far as relationships go, it doesn’t always come easy. You have to have team work in any relationship. It is an everyday thing… But then again if it’s not working maybe you are trying too hard….Anyways I am no expert I think we all have to find those answers in ourselves. I do believe you have to finish one thing before you move on to another.
Anyways, I haven’t slept since I came home from work at 7:35 am and now its 10:00 am. I am a little tired and it is getting EASY for me to just ramble on….. So I will stop now before I stop making any sense. Okay, maybe I wasn’t making any sense and the longer I stay up I will start to make sense… no no that’s not right either… …
Well, I will come back later to actually read the posts and not just skim through it all.
I hope all is well with everyone!
Damaris, welcome back.
Evelyn, how’s your paper? You mentioned emailing Whit and I a short version of the chapter you were working on. That sounds great! Hope your feeling better soon. Also, thanks for the info on Life’s Burning Desire.
Tim, Texas, Whit, Evelyn, here’s your KICK.
Paul, shin kicks… sow sow your garden
hi, this is my first post….great to “read” all of you….my response to the question, nothing is easy but it helps when you have a wonderful family to handle the hard stuff with….best of wishes to you Paul, with your work….keep dancing, you are truely gifted….to everyone else, hope to “be postin” soon. thanks
Great comments guys. I appreciate your input. I put the religious thing out there so whatever you say to me regarding religion or my mistake is for your interpretation and reaction. I can take whatever you have to say…I’ve probably thought of most of it.
As for the religious part. JW’s are fanatical you can’t be a good one and not be. My wife is quite in and I’m not. I do use time when she is at church for myself. I am learning a lesson to be different, but in my home I am projected as the defiant ungodly person. So, I go back to my children with don’t take everything you hear as
the “gospel” test it for yourself. Think before you accept. I give them an alternative perspective that is what I DO. That is why I am still here. So if you have something to say to me. Just say it. That’s why it put it out there. I haven’t discussed it with anyone even my therapist. I probably should. We have discussed the religion issue and he told me to do what I needed to do for me. As far as the act of misconduct and the related aspects of that..Like I said I didn’t come out and tell her about it then it was too explosive at the time. It would have been the final straw and that must not have been in the cards b/c now I have a daughter I’ve always wanted even though that too was not planned. And NOW, no way. It would be opening a box full of rattlesnakes and then me trying to find my out of it without being killed. Nope can’t do it. And I did get tested by the way afterwards…a couple of times.
Thanks again…I do count you guys as my group of friends and people I can confide in. I appreciate it.
Grandma of course I will be calling Baz and doing what I can to get a good role in his next movie!! I havent given up yet.
Easy is not rocking the boat, hard is jumping overboard with out a life vest.
Tim, I want to offer all sorts of words, thoughts and encouragements to help you but I cant. You know it is all up to you. It is your choice to live in a relationship, It is your choice to have indescretions, it is your choice to take tap lessons, it is your choice to view you as you do. It is your choice to sit the in the boat and not rock it just as it is your choice to jump over board with out a life vest and see where the current of your choice of who you are take you.
When I was younger it seemed easier to put up with other people laying their shit on me. Now as I get older it is far easier to stand up and live my life my way to lead and live by my example while those same people go off to look for someone else to lay their shit on.
Got to go to work now. I quite enjoy it in an odd sort of way but that doesnt make it any easier….(singing)…rock the boat, tip the boat over!!!
Michelle in Chicago made a good point as did Evelyn, texes, Innussige, Uncle Peaches; everyone has some great things to say on this topic: easy.
Well I’ll tell you one thing, owning a pet isn’t easy. It’s time to take him out again! That’s not really so bad. I use that 15 to 20 minutes to sit in my car and read a book. Right now it’s the Pilates one. It’s been read by so many people that I had to glue two clumps of pages back into the front section!
Thanks for the kick Suz. I just did another 20 minutes of aerobics and I’ll be doing a lower body workout soon. It is a bit time consuming, but I probably waste the same amount of time every day. This gives me energy and structures my life. Unfortunately I don’t think I could put it in the “easy” catagory.
This is my first post here so hello to all. First off, Paul, good luck in your career and I hope that you find something real soon to entertain us with. As far as your question, I have been racking my brain all day trying to come up with a definition and I think I finally have something to say. Drum roll please*******From my experience, nothing is easy anymore because anything you do can lead to something hard or difficult. That’s life….Take my son for example, he is 13 years old, a walking hormone, and failing the 7th grade. Every year, since kindergarden he has been an Honor Roll student…A’s and B’s all the way…awards every year. This year he has started hanging around new kids with different goals in life and he has simply decided that he doesn’t need to study anymore. He would rather watch TV or listen to music, or talk on the phone and his grades suck. He wanted to take the easy route in the 7th grade and has found out the hard way that the easy route is not always the best. I’m hoping and praying that he doesnt grow up to hate me for caring for him so much….parenting is not easy…groan…but i do have a wonderful husband and that makes it a little easier….good day to all…bye
Tim, good for you!!!! Keep providing the alternative to your kids and keep them open to other belief systems, as you are doing already. Have you ever thought about celebrating being “the defiant ungodly person” as you put it? There is a lot of freedom in that one too, if you think about it and I’ve always felt rather empowered afterwards when I come/came under attack from such religiously close-minded people and celebrated their criticism as an affirmation that I was on the way that is right for me. There are plenty in my family who still think that they have the right to tell me how to live my life and I’m 33, have not lived at home since I was 18 and lived in a different country on a different continent for almost 12 years. Actually that move to the US was rather helpful for me to get me out of that environment, but I guess that’s one advantage of being single. And on the subject of whether or not to tell your wife, that’s your choice. Having been the “victim” (I no longer see myself as such) of that twice in two different relationships, neither of them told me, but I knew from a gutt feeling and confronted them, since I needed to know. It cut very deeply and hurt like hell, but it was my choice and overall, I was better off, but you are right it’s explosive and if you ever want to tell her, pick a moment when you feel you can deal with the explosion, but also keep in mind that she needs to be able to deal with it as well. That one goes both ways. I think the fact that you are talking about this now is actually very healthy.
Suz, I’m making steady progress on the paper (nope, not procrastinating, kind of funny that that was the first thing to pop into my head as being easy ) and trying not to get too confused with juggling 6 separate languages constantly and lots of detail stuff. I will send you the short version soon, but I have to pull some of the translations from elsewhere into that document, since I did not need them at the conference. The audience then knew enough German and medieval German …
Hi Innussiq and Damaris, great to hear from you again. I too had wondered where you had been.
Okay back to the other writing, no procrastinating and keep telling myself that it is easy, will get easier and that I almost reached the end goal, which makes it easier to keep plugging away. But it is also very pleasurable …
Happy thoughts to everyone!
I just wanted to say I’m relieved we can cuss on here. My delete button was about to fall off.
Paul…Just to let you know the two letters I wrote to Baz one c/o the Broadway Theatre and the other c/o BazMark on W. 45th in NYC have NOT come back to me. Good vibes, I think. Do you think your loyal supporters should write too? Would it help or hurt? Linda
Whitney, It probally is foreshortening, but Ms. G did say something about foreshadowing? I have to draw a portrait with a hand or some object coming out at you from the page. Ive started it but its not “easy” (LOL Paul, great time for you to bring up defining easy!!) what grades do you teach? ever heard of Mrs. Galetovic! lol! hope you have a great day
Grandma, and everyone Love to all!
Easy–this site is easy–knowing I’ve been away for a few weeks, come back and see familiar faces, knowing that I’ll be welcome back with open arms. Feeling such a sense of comfort and belonging.
I’m glad to see all is well with everyone (other than a few grumblings which are to be expected, of course).
Oh, one more thing. Tim, I agree with you. Sex is easy. It’s love that is hard.
Evelyn..Thanks for the words of encouragement. I’m so sorry you were party to indiscretion in your past relationships. I know it hurts. It hurts the offender as well. At least it did me. Deeply.
Paul..Thanks for pointing out the choices I have. And you’re right. That is exactly what my therapist tells me. I have the choice to wake up another day in Atlanta or I can choose to buy a plane ticket to London and be done with it. I chose to take tap with my kids. I allowed myself to be pulled away from my wife at a critical point as opposed to putting up a fight with my internal moral system that was telling me NOOOO, but my head was saying…go for it. Your marriage is over anyway. Believe me I don’t choose to ever go down that road again. It has presented itself again, and I said NO..NO..NO. I’m not that kind of person deep down. I lived my childhood knowing my dad did that to my mom and it hurt me bad.
I gotta lighten up. I had a great tap class tonight. We had a sub. She was grand. We just started out doing stuff all over the floor and we rocked for an hour. It was fantastic. She choreographed short pieces for us we could pick up quickly and move to fast. She used great 70′s music…a blast.
I listened to my SB CD today. I didn’t know Tara Morice sang. She was great I thought it was Cyndi Lauper. I also didn’t know that Perhaps was Doris Day. There was one of my favorites from the 60′s.
Thanks again everyone. I understand what you mean Paul..don’t rock the boat baby..rock the boat don’t tip the boat over…That’s life indecision and it’s NOT EASY.
Paul..you are right…age has a lot to do with the ability to take shit or give it back. I took it for a long time. Now I’m standing up for myself, but it’s rocky and hard and full of barriers and people trying to shoot me down. But I don’t care anymore what they think. That’s their problem. Believe it or not I do have some aspirations and focal points and goals to reach.
Here’s one..and it’s working by the way…get this weight off.
and two…watching my kids on stage at their year end recital and then joining them for an act. It’ll be a blast. That’s just short term stuff.
Kay Lynne, you are so right, this site is easy. It brightens my every day to know that I can always find someone who cares here. Tim, like Paul, I want to say so much. As we discussed off list I lost so many people I thought were such close friends when I fell away from the JW group. I also understand how it feels when you lose heart in a relationship. I have to agree with Michelle. It seems now your best bet is to try to get happy with where you are. When your kids are 18 and can make their own decisions, then you can make yours too. It’s going to be a hard road, but I for one will be here to help as best I can. I’m sure I am not alone in that offer either.
Now, off topic. I saw Chicago last night and it was wonderful. During one of the scenes I thought of you, Paul and I just knew you would have loved the dances. It’s just as electric as the stage play and I had to hold myself from clapping when each number was over. It was great!
hey paul my name is michele i am a big fan of yours what kind of music do you like have you heard of denzel washington
oh my god shirley!!!! I’ve got my happy face on!!!
A billion dollars!!! Yep, folks that’s how much Maddie’s Fund is going to be worth in the next few years….Funds designated for “no-kill” animal shelters – We met with the Maddies Fund Field representative and are going to take a shot at setting up a no-kill shelter in our community… What’s the kicker? Not too bad…have to keep increasing the no kill talley and the animal groups have to work together..
ahem…last item could be a little tough to achieve
Maddie’s Fund – created by David Duffield, founder of PeopleSoft software in memory of their little schnauzer – named – you got it….Maddie
no easy on this….
sara UP–my theory about cussing…cuss all you want…that way when we get senile we won’t cuss!
seems like it’s always said about people with senility ..”don’t know what happened…he/she never used to talk like that”
Paul, so happy that you plan to call Baz!
Good luck! Whitney wrote that in a screenwriting course it was stated that just plain folks have connections to celebrities more than is acknowledged! “Networking” is the process. I would gladly network for you, just let me know!
Linda, writing to Baz at the Broadway Theatre couldn’t hurt. I don’t know if he ever has time to read his mail. He is absolutely spastic, the way he jumps from project to project. I definitely think he is in his mid-life crisis, for he just turned 40, and that scares him! However, if in his projects he has work for our Paul, hurrah for the midlife crisis!
Innessqui, my husband and I also saw “Chicago” the moment it opened in our area in Florida. It was truly awesome! At the end, the audience applauded, and stayed in their seats to watch the credits roll!
The last time I saw that was when I showed “Strictly Ballroom” in our retirement village as part of a film seminar that I chaired. (I was to show it 5 times more!) I told my husband that I want to see “Chicago” again for my 70th birthday present…I’m a cheap date, but I was making things EASY for my hubbie.
Tim, Tara Morice was a singer and actress until “Strictly Ballroom” where she had to audition many times to get the dancing role of “Fran.”
Cindy Lauper wrote “Time After Time” and Tara and
Mark Williams sang it on the soundtrack.
Doris Day’s “Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps” cost Baz a fortune to secure the rights…one of the most expensive items in the budget. Another costly item was Paul’s gorgeous jacket worn for the Paso Doble…you deserved it, Paul!
Good morning, Whitney!
You are a plethora of information. Thanks for the insight. I knew Cyndi wrote the song and sang it in the 80′s it just sounded like her. Tara did a great job. I can’t believe she had a hard time auditioning for the part unless she just wasn’t a dancer. I bet that Doris Day number cost him. I love her. One of my fav’s was the movie with James Garner where she comes back from being stranded on an island for 7 years and he’s about to get or has gotten remarried they just haven’t consumated the marriage yet (yeah right). Great old movie. And the jacket? I heard they gave it to Paul as part of his compensation and thanks for his incredible gift to the show,(himself) without which there would not have been a Strictly Ballroom. Paul didn’t you get it???? : ) No one else could wear it that well..even Fran’s “dad.”
I’ve got to go see Chicago..maybe that’ll be an “easy” happy time for me this weekend.
Inn..thanks for the note.
Time to head off to work.
Easy to get there. Hard to stay there. Actually it’s hard to get there too.
Tim, don’t feel sorry for me. Remember, I chose to be with these men, obviously not that they could screw around, but things happen in relationships that makes one want to balk (spelling????). Nope that doesn’t make it okay, but …. Hmmm, what is my but? …. ???
Keep striving for inner happiness, it has a tendency to spread to all those around you.
Kay Lynne, it’s great to hear from you again. Remember when you asked the question in December about if (or not) we would want to go back to some sort of younger form of ourself if we could take all the knowledge we have today with us? I never responded to your question, but thought about it a great deal. Nope, I would not really want to go back, but I sure would like to have the optimism I used to have when I was younger. Went from being a total optimist to a pessimist to a “realist” and now want to become and be an optimistic realist. Thinking about my youthful optimism made me get in touch with that side of me and has helped me deal with my frustration, panic and crisis lately and see the positive in it and to keep an open mind about what the future holds for me. So thank you for asking this question, it provided me with a better strategy to deal with life’s curve balls exactly when I needed it.
Kelli, I got an answer from my friend about Baylor U this morning, but I have to translate it first from German and will email it to you soon. And I might just have to thank you one of these days for “making” me get in touch with my friend at this point in time. I might just get a job out of this for next year, one that will not be advertised nationally but is by recommendation only from people that the hiring institution knows. It’s only a one year position, but who knows what will happen. Sometimes these one year positions turn into long term positions. Life sometimes really is weird, in the good sense in this case.
Now I really wish that my co-worker would make an appearance. She’s only 50 minutes late (yesterday she showed up 4 hours late, but then stayed later) but I can’t do my job without her, since we have to collaborate on this project and she left me no note whatsoever, how far she got yesterday. I think it’s time to make coffee and then see if there’s anything else I can do. I guess being efficient is back firing right now. I hate being in the office with nothing to do!!!!
Paul, I’m glad you at least get to enjoy work somehow, even if it is in an odd sort of way. Keep enjoying it in the odd sort of way. It will make it easier to hang in there until you can leave it for something more fulfilling.
Have a pleasant day and kicks to everyone who needs a motivational kick for exercise or something else.
Evelyn, Im so glad that I helped you get back into touch with you friend! does she live in Germany? thank you so much! thats awesome about the job! what kind of job is it? Life does throw weird things at you sometimes! and it can be wonderful surprises! everything happens for some reason or another! and I love knowing that! have a good week! and thanks again!
Grandma, Wish I were in Floria right now! how is the weather, we just had a very large snow and Im freezing, although the plus is that school is cancelled which is always nice! I never knew Tara sang time after time, I actually heard that song on the radio the other day and was like OOh OOh thats the song from SB when they were dancing outside near the coke scene, of course thats one of my fav scenes that and the Chariot scene near the end! looove that dance move!! Tara has a good voice !! thanks love lots
Hope everyone is doing wonderfully Much love
Good evening, Whitney…
Kelli, honey, wish you (and everyone) could also be in Florida this time of year. The flowers are blooming, the exercise fanatics are out walking past my window, in their jackets and shorts…it has been a little “nippy” (70′s) in the early morn.
If I had the ability to bottle this weather and send it to all you wonderful “kids” I would indeed be a happy Grannie! Australia is also enjoying Florida-like weather, so I shouldn’t brag!
About that Coke sign…the flourish type lettering has been a hallmark of Baz’s work since
SB. Actually, his wife, Catherine Martin, was instrumental in creating the style. On Broadway, Baz’s “La Boheme” has a big backdrop with the word “L’Amour” (Love), and “Moulin Rouge” also had that style. The motto for BazMark, Baz’s
Corporation is “A life lived in fear is a life half-lived”…so, you can see “Strictly Ballroom” is really in Baz’s psyche! I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating…critics have said that “Strictly Ballroom” is Baz’s best of the Red Curtain Triolgy, the other two being “Romeo and Juliet” and “Moulin Rouge” but we already knew that, didn’t we?
Evelyn, never lose those wonderful attributes of yours, especially the ability to be punctual and efficient, ready to do your work, and keeping your head while those around you are losing theirs!
Yeah sure they give me the jacket!!!!! They didnt even give me a video of the movie!! As for the DVD special pack – yep the one they spent money cutting me out of because they refused to spend money on me being in it – they havent sent me a copy of that either. How do you think they got rich??
Yes a little bit cynical and perhaps a smuge angry. Justified as I have gone out of my way for the last eleven years to promote them all for free. Blah Blah Blah dont get me going, I’m selling computer their making films!
Michelle, I like heaps of differnt music – Hip Hop, RAP, blues, jazz, classical, rock, country etc. Currently listening to Eva Cassidy, Eminem, Yo Yo Ma, Jewel and a mates country and western album.
We all better watch out Sarah UP is in a cussing mood!!!
Welcome Ann. Head up, good luck, no it aint easy having kids. It’s not easy to stand by and watch them screw up. It’s hard knowing when to step in and save them but incur their rath for doing so. Or to let them fall over and get hurt…. My job as a parent is to assist them in doing both and somehow keep my hands off, my eyes dry, my fears in check and find, and keep faith, in their indestructability.
I had a good day selling yesterday, made me some money – but the best thing was my kids kept telling me how proud they were of me!! Gosh that made me feel good!
Any way we can have a group hug on this thing? lol.
My definition of easy?
….it’s anything that I can do, even if I do it badly, even if I find it hard. Does this sound paradoxical? Is it out of focus?………Perhaps it’s purely a matter of perspective.
Here’s another lesson the universe taught me a couple of days ago:
I was away from home for work purposes, in the coastal city of Newcastle.
My spine had been “playing up” for a few days.
It appeared (mostly) unexpectedly and was causing me some discomfort and a slight loss of motor control.
On Tuesday I decided to go for a walk after work, but could only manage about half a kilometer, because of the pain and limited range of motion. I was really stiff.
The next day I felt slighty better, so I became determined to complete a walk of about four kilometers round trip. Hell, I didn’t have to start work until the next morning, so I had plenty of time to complete the trip.
I was walking along the popular foreshore route, at a pace of about 2kms per hour. Yes, that’s bloody slow, but it’s all that I could manage. I had some dicomfort and my head and arms were twitching and shaking as I walked. My legs were wobbling. Obviously my system was up to its’ old tricks and muscle control (walking) had become challenging. I must of looked quite a sight! I tried to make it less obvious, but I could not and I was attracting a few stares. Some folk could have mistaken me for being drunk! I tried to make my legs move faster, but they just would not respond. Damn brain. I felt stupid and I felt frustrated. It was very, very hard. I was thankful that I had my dark glasses on and that nobody knew me.
This was the same body that only a short time ago could cover a kilometer in well under three minutes, or run twenty miles with ease. Look at me now. Damn.
Then, the universe smacked me on the back of the head with a differing perspective. With about 1km to go, two ladies walked past me. One was pushing a wheelchair, which contained a pretty little girl, probably about 9 years old.
Her poor little frail body looked sad and pathetic, yet she was smiling and she looked my way and smiled at me.
The rest of my journey was EASY. Very bloody easy. Sure, I got slower as I went on, but at least I could do it under my own steam. Yep, that’s what easy is, purely a matter of perspective. The universe had taught me yet another lesson.
Today, my spine has improved and I am moving a lot better. But regardless, I’m bloody fortunate,….. I can do a whole load of things. It’s easy.
Peter..you touched my heart buddy…nothing will get me going faster than to look at an innocent child ripped of at least the opportunity to do what I’ve done…even if it’s just with all the body functions working correctly. That’ll sure bring things into focus in a nanosecond.
Paul..of course I wasn’t trying to get you riled up. You know better than that I hope. I was being very sarcastic they didn’t do you right. I just watched ETE again as I have to return the rental tomorrow. You worked with some great people and for god sakes with Gary Marshall. Where the hell is he? Call him!!! Call Penny. You were great..the blurb says you had an American accent..nope still heard the aussie in ya. Americans really don’t want it any other way trust me. Or maybe it’s just my own preference. And when your kids were on the set..I bet they were confused. LOL. I’m glad you had a good day selling. And don’t say it like BAZ or whatever the hell his name is makes films and you don’t. YOU ARE JUST IN A HIATUS of sorts. Bottle half empty or half full dude. It’s just half full of offers…Just think that way. I’m tempted to break out my Hollywood Blu-Book and start writing all these directors and asking them why aren’t they using you? You’re a great actor you have done some great work and your underutilized. That’s something your fans should help them understand. You know I could care less if I ever saw Tom Cruise in another film. Seriously!! or for that matter Julia Roberts. They kind of take their celebrity for granted and it shows up in their work. Meryl Streep takes time off from her work and when she does show up in a movie by god I want check it out.
Personally I had a shitty day. But now I’m inspired to do something. Giving is something I do well. So I think tomorrow I’m going to do a little investigating and letter writing. If I have to send a hundred postcards to each director I will. I’m good at that.
Grandma..wish I had that weather you were having today. We had rain and grey. I did extremely well on my eating plan today even though I was so depressed. I didn’t go to work…just couldn’t get it together. But I’ll go in tomorrow.
I checked into flights today…Australia between now and June will cost me $1328 and right now I could scoot over to London for $331. RT fares. I’m going to do both soon. I’ve gotta to get out of this place for awhile.
I think I need to get through the school year first and then do the travel. If I can wait that long.
Have a good night you guys or in Australia a great afternoon.
I did make a choice the past couple of weeks. I’m not going back to school. I don’t have time for it and it is not what I want. I want creativity so I’m just going to have to make it work successfully for me. Between writing and hair I’m going to make something very extraordinary happen. I just will!!!
Hey to everyone!
Tim, you’re on the track that’s right for you. You write like an intelligent person with good instincts. Trust them.
I’ve got to go exercise. I’ll have more time to read soon.
Good night Grandma!
I just wanted to check in. Right now nothing is easy, as I’ve barely slept in three days. But I can give you a good definition of hard: three 20-page papers and two exams down, one more exam to go. Wish me luck!
But then I’m home freeeee. The team is going to Fla. on a training trip next week for intersession. Grandma, where do you live in Fla again? We’re going to be in Cocoa Beach.
P.S. Whitney, I’ll send you my latest paper if you like… it’s on memory and PTSD in rape victims.
Thankyou Peter for the insight. Perpective is a good thing. Easy is as easy as.
Caryn – GOOD LUCK!
That’s the spirit Paul! There’s always the pleasure experienced when a job’s well done. Even when I cleaned house, (and my boss always stuck me with the bathroom and kitchen) I experienced a sense of achievement that felt good. I read that we are always doing our best. I suppose it’s true. If I can do better I’ll be doing so at every possible moment.
Tim, I’m just an amateur psychologist, but I feel compelled to mention a study, and maybe Caryn can back me up, that indicates, through research, that if a marriage really should end (and I’m not saying yours should), that it’s better if two people seperate when the kids are young. If they wait until their kids are in their teens, the children have more trouble adjusting.
When you’re a teenager you want to range and roam about, but you want to know that home is stable and waiting for you, even if that’s a home in which your parents are seperated or remarried. Just as long as it’s stable, things are less difficult.
I’m only trying to share information. That study always stuck in my mind because so many people stay in miserable marriages because they think it’s the best thing for their kids. But remember, it’s just one study. Only you know what to do in your particular relationship.
So many kick ASS posts!!!!! Less time to read them!!!!!! Oh, and I forgot to mention, I missed my first day of teaching Tuesday. Oops!!! I actually thought school started today. On Tuesday I worked with the 8th graders. Oh well, the first week is usually a waste anyway. This community college is incredibly laid back so it’s no biggie. I guess that’s one of the perks of teaching. Still, I want people to get their money’s worth. I apologized for not being there. I guess that was my unexcused absence. I only give them one and then I cut their letter a grade! You should hear some of the excuses I’ve gotten!!! And I’ve only been teaching about 1.5 years now!
Sweet dreams fellow posters.
Send away Caryn. And enjoy that trip! It sounds like you deserve and need it!
Tim & Paul, thanks. Yeh, I guess that sometimes it’s good to make a shift in perspective, or even better, changing the entire paradigm and creating a new one that’s a bit nicer for yourself and the world as well. I suppose we can all do that if we try. At times life does it for you with an unexpected wake-up call. Then it’s REALLY easy!!
You just follow your nose and see where it leads.
Paul, congrats with the sales success. All success is important, but it’s far greater when it is supported by the genuine love of your family. They are the ones who appreciate you and your efforts better than anybody ever can. That’s really sweet success, no matter which way you look at it. Goodonya.
Caryn, hope you get some sleep and the exam success that you’re hoping for. Yo must have loads of drive. Goodonya too!
YEA Caryn! you go girl! Ummmmmmm, Cocoa Beach – “Time to catch up on sleep?” “Are you crazy bluedog?” “Time to kick back, party and know easy” enjoy… sure you did well on your exams so no worry there
peter – so right you are..it’s all a matter of perspective
whitney-kOOl-you missing the first day of class…i’ll bet the students are having a ball with that..question though? – are these 8th graders at the community college or are you at their school? you’ve maybe said, but there’s been a few posts.
No doubt about it.. SB would not succeeded without M’curio in the male lead role. There would be no Moulin Rouge (overdone and overripe) or R&J (haven’t seen it) and SB was made, what? ten years ago and we’re still coming to this site.
yep, we need M’curio making movies…
it’s late…gotta quit this night owl business during the week..
Good Morning, Whitney, and EVERYONE!
It is so early in the a.m. that the moon is shining brightly outside my window, and I can’t see anyone on the sidewalk! That will change in an hour. I always was an early riser…early birds get the morning news first!
Caryn: Cocoa Beach? My goodness, you will have all sorts of wonderous places near you!
The Kennedy Space Center, and DISNEYWORLD
are just a few short miles away…also, MELBOURNE…(oh, darn, that’s Florida, not Australia, Paul’s home!
Elliott and I live 180 miles south, and with your busy schedule, you don’t need us lurking around bugging you! I’m glad you’re through with your papers and exams, and I’m certain you will pass with flying colors!
Peter, perhaps staying off your feet and resting will be beneficial. I’ve had back problems, and I know the old saying, “take it easy” helped! One of our daughters, 43 years old, was on Vioxx and
and having a difficult time, but she just told me last night she had started a regimen of exercise and therapy, she’s off drugs, and feeling good!
She also mentioned that she is doing the “Pilates”
exercises. (I finally found out what that meant. I thought it was that tyrant in Jerusalem thousands of years ago!) I looked at pictures in a book, and everyone doing the floor exercises is young, trim and agile!
Now, if I ever managed just to get down on the floor, I would need a crane to get me up! (I think I will stick to my indoor bike.)
Caryn..GOOD LUCK!! That’s just too much to even think about for me. Too much due diligence. However you are young and can do it I’m positive.
Hey Whit..You’re not as amateur as you may think. It’s been discussed and younger we’ve been told is better. After last night with my wife, I’m leaning towards end of school year. Then we all have the summer to adjust to a new way of life and go from there.
Be safe and successful everyone.
Hey Paul chin up dude. Keep selling. You’re going to be selling yourself to the casting directors VERY SOON.
Oh and you are very right..nothing…nothing is as awesome as having those little hands and arms or even not so little wrapped around you saying you’re great or I love you. KIDS! They are worth living for even when it’s HARD…
Paul..One more thing mate…
When you’re on stage accepting your Oscar remember to put this in your acceptance speech…
“Oh and thanks for all the kicks from my mates at Pauls Corner”… : )
Man, I take off for a couple of weeks, and I come back to find that it’s going to take a couple more to catch up! What is easy? Well, my dad once told me that when faced with a life choice, to always do the thing which is harder, because there never really WAS a choice to begin with, only the right thing, and the easy excuse not to do it. The longer I live the more truth I see in that. Of course that’s not to say that I don’t still take the easy path at times, but more often I see that what I SHOULD have done lay down the harder path.
That’s all I have time for now…I have a friend in the hospital I need to go visit. She just had some surgery, but she’s doing great, physically and emotionally. I really admire her attitude. Good to see all of you again!
Grandma, yes I would love to have your weather right now! Im glad my aunt and other grandparents are there now enjoying it! thanks for the insight on the coke scene, catherine martin does a wonderful job on all of Baz’s films. Well guess I’ll go out and walk in all the snow we have out here in Tennessee! take care!! much love!!
Caryn, Have fun! and I know how much stress piles up with school work and everything else! but going to the beach will be wonderful!! enjoy the sun and good luck!!
Paul, Im so happy for you, glad that sales went up. Good Luck always!
OOXX! love to all
Good morning Grandma! I see you were up early this morning. I hope you’re feeling extremely well.
Someone asked about “The Interview”. It was pretty good. The photography was extra fine and the plot is twisted, which suits my taste in story lines. I just watched “In the Bedroom”. I give it the “pretty damn good” rating. More great photography or cinamatography, I think they call it. The story is heartbreaking, but I liked the ending. Won’t give it away of course!
I’m almost always a little behind on current movies. I only go to the theater if a movie warrants the big screen, unless of course, my pal Gene drags me to something or if Paul Mercurio’s in it (right bluedog?)!
We have a couple of inches of snow here in WV. Grandma, Caryn!!! Someone get me to Florida!!!
Oh! And Kelli, I think your idea for a hand coming towards you for the forshortening assignment is a great choice. Maybe your teacher was talking about shadowing to simulate 3-dimensionality in 2-dimensions. Foreshadowing is an element of film and is used to allude to, or hint at, something that happens later in the movie.
Paul, I’m glad you answered michele’s post. I was beginning to think it was a code or something. Your musical taste is richly varied. Good for you!
And I’m glad to hear about the recognition and loving gratitude you’re getting at home. You know we admire and respect you too, but I’m sure it’s sweetest coming from your girls. You deserve it!
I’m learning more about Pilates: actually seeing illustrations and explanations at this point in the book. I have to say, it looks a little tough. The very first exercise has me a bit confused. I’m supposed to move as if I’m in wet concrete, and then it tells me to pump my arms “vigorously”. What gives? I’ll check it out further and let ya’ll know what I think. In theory, it sounds like a great system!
Poor Peter! I think you get the trophy for worst back on the board. Thank you for sharing your experience. Things could be so much worse for all of us. I often think of Christopher Reeve and I pray (though I don’t understand the mechanism of prayer) that science will someday free him from his chair. He has awesome willpower.
Well, speaking of willpower, I’m going to use some of mine to do my upper body workout. Please send multitudes of virtual butt kicks my way. I need them today.
Great day to everyone!
I’M DONE WITH EXAMS!!!! YIPEEEEeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz…….. (snore)
Peter, wow, I’m sorry you are having so many problems again with your back, moving etc. I do admire your will power to keep going no matter what and I will cheer you on, should you want or need that. Good for you!!!!! Keep moving, but also rest when your body needs to. And the whole thing re. perspectives, you are so right. I so often take it for granted how fortunate and blessed I am and your post moved me deeply. Perspectives can have such a huge impact, both positively and negatively. I’m going to aim for the positive …
Whitney, you forgot to show up for the first day of classes ???? !!!! This is rather funny and I laughed, but you are lucky to be working in such a relaxed environment where this is no big deal. My former boss would have most likely killed me or fired me if I had forgotten to show up … and the Pilates exercise you describe, I know that one. It perhaps sounds weirder than it actually is, but expect your arms to be really sore the next day, it gets better What is the title of the Pilates book you are reading and keep referring to? And here are the gazillions of virtual kicks to get you exercising, per your request, don’t complain if you end up with a few bruises
So Sarah UP, where’s the cussing???? okay, perhaps better phrased, what’s up that makes you want to cuss?
Grandma, I’ll do my best to keep my head at work and maintain my professional cool, but I’m finding it very difficult!!!! Strangling my co-workers mentally, EASY!!! but not very constructive and helpful. Another question for you, if you call the 70s nippy, what do you call 0 or sub-zero temperatures combined with wind chill factors of at least -15 F? Just wondering, but I guess it comes back down to perspective. 70s would seem hot from my perspective and I wouldn’t mind them one bit.
Kelli, the potential job is at Samford U. in Birmingham, AL in the “World Languages Dep.” teaching college level German. Don’t know more about it at this point. My friend recommended me to the other faculty member there and now I can contact him to get more information and apply officially. Although I went to their website and the first thing that comes up is in big letters “Nurturing persons for God, for learning, forever” and that puts me rather on edge. It is also affiliated with the Baptist Church and much of what I told you about Baylor, I now have to think about myself and decide if I want to work at such an institution or not, even if it is only for a year, should I get the job, of course.
Paul, do you have to work on commission selling computers? I hope not since that would be a rather rotten deal. Congrats on the sales!!!! and the way you talk about your daughters makes me want to have kids myself … hmmm … first things first! They do sound like amazing young ladies and I’m glad that they are in your life and brighten it for you as I’m sure you do for them.
Tim, here’s a hug for you to keep you going where you are going and listen to your instincts, they seem to be pretty good, at least from what I can read between the lines of your posts.
Caryn, hang in there, one more exam and then you will get your break!!! you can do it!!!! Viel Erfolg!!! and have fun in FL. I’m about to embark on a five day writing marathon myself, –sleep, who needs it, right? ME &YOU!!!
Okay, now I’m going to start writing, writing, writing … wish me luck! & have a great weekend everyone!
Caryn, just saw your post. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! and enjoy your sleep, snoring or not.
Happy writing to you Evelyn.
On the job thing, I guess it helps that my boss is the king of slackers. I had stopped by to sign contracts the week before and told him I thought school started on the 16th. He didn’t know! I said I’d check my schedule to confirm, but of course, I didn’t because I was so sure I’d seen the 16th for the starting date. Yeah, you’re right. This job has been a fortunate turn of events for me, offering one of the more tolerable modes of employment. I only have to be there two days a week, but I teach 3 classes each day: one’s an evening course.
The job thing sounds good! Just use it as a stepping stone. Besides, most of the teachers probably aren’t religious. And belief systems won’t be a part of a foreign language course. You’ll be a breath of fresh air, as they say.
Caryn, way to go! You’re doing it! Have fun with your teammates!
Well, I have to go. I’m attending a friend’s opening reception. You know you’re getting old when your fellow artists are having retrospectives.
Good night Grandma.
Thank you all for the wonderful welcome to the board and for the words of encouragement. It has been rough lately watching my son go thru the emotional rollercoaster he is on and to try and be there for him and hope and pray that when I have to be strict that he realizes that I am only doing it for his own good and not to hate me which is something that i have often wondered about. Does he hate me for not letting him hang around this certain friend because I dont agree with his lifestyle? Or, taking his phone away when he lied about his homework….but I realized something yesterday. It was snowing here and I had a wreck on top of a mountain on my way home. I hit the side of the mountain trying to dodge a car that was stopped in the middle of the road and did a 360 and a 1/2 down the mountain until finally landing nose first in the ditch. It was a ride let me tell ya. I could hear the concern in my kids voices when i called to tell my husband that i had wrecked. And when I finally got to them, Major Hugs….It felt so good. Hugs are easy….Me hugging my kids, that is easy…Paul, thanks for responding and your words of encouragement…..Good luck with the computer sales…my husband actually does a little computer selling on the side, also builds them…they’re a joy to have but terribly annoying when you have computer parts all over the kitchen table…it’s like pass the motherboard, instead of the butter…LOL….anyway, sorry to keep rattling on…take care all, and thanks for the welcome.
First off…Hugs to everyone. Everybody step back and say..I’m a great person. I made it through another day.
I made it in today. I did well at work.
I’ve got a “mantra” for my eating habits. “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” Everytime I see something I say that in my head and guess what…I don’t eat it. Thank god!! I may actually get to my goal. Which leads me to another question of you Paul, if you don’t mind.
From SB to ETE to Joseph. If chronology serves me correctly they were filmed in that order right? Well it looks like you “beefed” up for ETE, well that is you exposed a lot more of yourself in that film..my question is…did you have a personal trainer? Or did you do that on your own? (from your own personal plan and dancing) Or was that just covered up before? And you didn’t look quite the same in Joseph. (Did you lose weight for that or is it just the way it was filmed) I’m curious because, the salon is going to pay for our fitness program and trainers. I’ve had a trainer before and it was great, but I was curious how you felt about them. It was a lot of work for me and it only lasted as long as I trained then I went back to a thin but fit person. When I trained I had just a little more form…no where near yours but for me a lot. If you get the opportunity…would love the answer.
Working on my rewrites tonight. Busy day tomorrow at the salon.
Great weekends to everyone…
BTW..hey guys this thread is filling up fast. May be another 200 quick…
Evelyn, The job sounds like a good opportunity! im sure you’ll make the right decision on working at an institution!! there are probally alot of good people their to work with, good luck!!
Caryn, so happy for you! sleep is good!! its always good!! lol
Tim, your right the numbers are filling up!! Glad you had a good day at the salon! wish you could cut my hair!! lol Your not just a great person! im sure your an awesome person as well!!
Cheersand hugs!! love to all
Boy with the crowd in here I have to make notes before I write or I lose track.
Caryn..WTG! The world is really opening up now.
Peter, I can surely understand about your mobility problem. It’s hard to keep going when it hurts so much. All I can say is just keep trying. I’m sure Whitney will offer all the cyber-kicks you need.
Tim, glad to hear you had a good day. I sure will keep your “mantra” in mind next time my hubby bakes a cheesecake!
Ann, nice to meet you. Glad to have you here.
I was so glad for work to be over today. Have a cold and with the asthma figured in I never thought I’d make it till quitting time. I got home at 6 and fell into bed. Now, I’ll be up all night..sheesh!
Well I guess that’s all the rambling I will force upon you all.
Oh, one last thing…good night Grandma.
Good morning, Innussiq, Whitney, and everyone!
(We must speak softly…our fav Aussies are probably sleeping!)
Innussiq, hope you’re feeling better, Peter also.
Keep warm, everyone…it seems that even Florida will be affected by a cold wave gripping the country. The only problem that Florida will have with that is that the oranges will freeze on the trees, and the begonias will droop a bit.
Last night Elliott and I went to the grand opening of our new theatre. The show was lousy, cost us $10.00 a ticket, and people left before the end. My show, in March, will cost $6.00 a ticket, and I know that it is far superior (I say modestly) to what we saw last night!
The show was a drab dance troupe, called “The Baltic Dancers” and their program consisted of Russian dances and songs, with canned music. Their costumes were plain, and after a while, I was checking my watch!
I spent a lot of time casing the stage, curtains, lighting, and exits and entrances from my seat. My cast of 40 will fill that big stage nicely, especially with our opening number, “Love Is In The Air”…(where did THAT come from?) Right now we are still rehearsing on a small stage, (since April), and we’re anxious to move into this grand theatre for rehearsals. Showtime is March 11th and 12th…you’re all invited, and I will pay for the tickets! (You’re on your own for the airfare and hotels…)
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!
You have piqued my interest in your show. You should film it for us and put it out on the web.
Someone asked earlier about my recital with the boys. I’m going to get someone to film it with a digital camera and then I can send it to you guys via an email…It’ll only be our short segments…not too long trust me.
anybody else have trouble with the Comments key..I had to get in here through the date key.
As always great to post…gotta get ready for a busy day.
Paul…Your children should be proud of you – we are all proud of you! You are doing what you need to do for now. Hang in there, Linda
Keyboard glitch you guys..ignore my question about the comment key link grandma..fixed it.
Paul…help here. What is the latest greatest? I’ll take your advice..
I finally made it back here!!!
I’ve had a computer prob all month that wouldn’t let the link work when it opened a new window, finally, between some help and some dumb luck, I fixed it. Whew, it was driving me nuts!
I just read ALL the posts for this year in one sitting, so my responses may be all over the place.
Let’s see, on resolutions, nah, don’t make them.
Most things we want to accomplish are things we probably will get done anyway, or are things that we may not be ready to do for ourselves yet.
Yes, 20+ year old at home, if you are at home and working, you should pay something. If not working, help with chores and extra things, ie cleaning the garage, etc. As Paul said, shows respect both ways and reminds you that life isn’t free, as you will find when you are on your own.
To Tim and all the others with health and marriage issues, hang in there…you are the ones who know if the marriage is worth fighting for.
Yes, Paul, you took the high road with the ex-agent; sometimes the high road is its own reward.
Same sort of thing with the lies in sales, a little truth stretching might be expected, but lies would just come back to haunt the seller, not to mention make it hard to sleep at night.
Congrats on the good sale day!
And though it’s probably been said, Paul’s Corner would be a great name for a pub,lol! Especially if it WAS on a corner, .
Grandma, you rock!
As for what’s easy and what’s hard…easy are the things you know you can do, hard are the things you don’t know you can do…yet.
So happy to be back!
Life is easy!!!! You just have to accept that its gonna be hard most of the time – and then it’s easy!!!
Going with the flow is easy. Resisting is hard!
Innusiq – GIRL, I hear ya on the taking notes thing! I just did the same thing! That’ll teach me to go off with my arms linked with Life, SHEESH! Loved your “making an ass out of” ones’ self. Um, yah…it’s always the easy way out of a confrontation, that’s for sure. Doh!
Cat – I LOVE the hard-to-easy post. One Fab Chick you are, no doubts there.
Sallie – CONGRADS! Woo-hoo! And as to the John Edwards, well, I have an interesting story to share there as well. Email me privately if interested in hearing it. If you haven’t already, get a copy of his book “One Last Time” (it was $7 I think). He fought and fought and FOUGHT this “gift” and takes you through his story of how he learned what it was and how to “read” these entities, and how to (try to) turn them on and off. It’s funny, endearing, and phenomenal.
Anne – Welcome~ and good luck with your Walking Hormone. I have two little boys, 4 and 5, but have a friend whos boys are 9 and 12. EEK!
Paul, Sarah UP can’t HELP but cuss! Some words were MEANT to be next to one another, and she’s of the ilk I am, ya ARE what ya ARE and we have similar voices (although hers is admittedly funnier than mine…I think childbirth dulled my wit a bit)
Tim – Darling, I saved you for last (aren’t ya just ‘SPACIAL?) You have got a shitload on your plate my friend, and SOMEDAY (I know, there’s already a new thread) I will come back and tell you just how great of a job I think you’re doing sorting all through it. If I lived nearby, I’d meet you at the park for a brisk walk (I HATE jogging) and a long-winded chat.
Oh, and WHOSE dog needs to go out (I can’t find thepost) and pray tell, HOW do you accomplish this with sitting in theparked car??? I simply could not fathom a dog-excercise that could occur with it’s human in a stopped vehicle! BUt, again, I can be a tad thick sometimes…so do ‘splain, please.
allright, gotta go…more later
Allright, this is a first–I am posting from HOME! The font is coming out all icky on my screen, but I’m sure Cat has some grandoise “smoothening” trick up her sleeve that’s imbedded in this page. Somewhere. Oh, and I have one of those ergonomically correct keyboards at work, and this is a straight one, so just pardon the foibles please.
Paul, I had to go back to what you’d said about fighting against it…that as soon as you REALIZE that life is hard and is going to be a struggle, the struggles are acceptable. Acceptance is the key.
But, isn’t that the key to EVERYTHING?
Tim, dear, I DO hope you won’t mind me using you as an example here, but I was thinking religious tolerance mostly. If Laurie had the desire, she could see the vision of YOU, where you’re going, and try not to push you in what makes HER feel content. What makes her feel content obviously does not sooth your waters, so if diet and exercise, or dance or music, sooths your waters, then (*I* feel) she should be happy with that. But I know a lot of JW’s only see ONE way, and that is the stability that draws a lot of people who are trying to make sense out of this world. Once they HAVE a set of “sense making tenets”, that admittedly, they’ve worked hard to live by, then they don’t want to give them up. Everything is a threat to them at that point. YOU are a threat to your wife’s stability factors, although she doesn’t see it that way I’ll bet. She’d never give you the credit for being able to shake her world like that. Whereas I see that as the ultimate compliment in a spouse, she probably wouldn’t think that was possible.
My husband went out of town for almost three weeks, came back for less than 48 hrs, then hopped another plane. (This guys’a full time student, not a business exec, so this was a rough time for all of us for several reasons, but mostly because it’s been 3 damned degrees out and snowing like no tomorrow!) Anyway, I made up questions for him to respond to while on his trip. I put them on index cards and mixed all crazy questions with serious ones, then reminiscient (oh holy crap nice spelling) ones. I went from “What is your favourite tree (he’s a Conservation student) and why?” to “If there was ONE thing you could change about me, physically, what would it be? Mentally?” And it was funny, his responses. (First of all, I had a bunch of sex questions in there too, and he was DYING trying to answer them without telling all the other guys what he was up to.) But the most interesting thing was that I pretty much (in his mind) “changed religions” after we’d been married for several years, but he sees how that helped me, has for the most part supported me (Watches the kids while I go to my healing workshops, circle, etc) and has ceased any snide comments because he sees how it has freed me to be the person I want to be.
The guys on his trip probably think I’m pathetic, leaving him with “homework” to prove his connection to me. Good thing they’re not married to me. Two of his friends thought it was awesome, and wished they had mates like his who took an active interest in our relationship and improving it. That’s all he’s ever wanted in our relationship, to know that I was INTERESTED in him, and in his happiness. IT’s a pretty self-less act, I have to say, and I continue to bite back snide, hurtful comments (for the most part–when I remember to) and GOD knows, we have our moments, foreshadowed by the actions of the five yr old when he says to his brother, “C’mon, Jo, let’s take our cars and play upstairs…” but they are SO much lighter now.
What the hell was I on about?
Tolerance. Don;t take things personally. People will bitch at you because of their unhappiness. IF you want to make it better for them, ask them how. Let them speak. Shut your mouth (this includes trying to defend yourself mid-spew) and listen. Remember, it’s got NOTHING to do with you, it is their reality. If you choose to let their venom into YOUR reality, thus owning it, then that is your choice. But you can CHOOSE not to and still be civil and helpful, without being smug. (aha! Sometime the hard part! But most times not.)
Allright, my carpal tunnel is coming back–these keyborads should have been outlawed with the Farah Fawcett hairdo.
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