anniversary

Yep today Andrea and I have been married for 22 years!!!!
Struth!
Some one asked me what was the secret or the key to 22 years of what would seem a successful marriage….my answer is:
1. communication – speak and listen…be honest in your communication….it is unconditional meaning it must need be open, honest and complete
2. unconditional love – no matter what, the basis of the relationship is just that – an unconditional love – thereby the commitment being to each other and working through what ever problems arise. Being married is about freedom not about boundaries but about freedom to love. That is a journey which is most rewarding and spectacular.
3. the absolute desire to grow and better oneself as an individual and as a married couple
The above points set the responsibility upon us, the challenge is to be completly open and honest. Lastly I would add be greatful and be rejoiceful for it is a wonderful thing to be in love after 22 years!
I am.

41 Responses to “anniversary”

  1. Evelyn says:

    Congratulations to Andrea and you, Paul! this is so wonderful!!! and I totally second, third and fourth what you said about open & honest communication, unconditional love and desiring to grow and become a better, more whole person individually and together. I’m currently experiencing this with my — big grin– no longer ex. We are finally working through our issues together, but it’s also easier to do since we live in the same town again and not on two different continents, and we’ve both grown through our ups and downs with each other and individually. I’m both happy and cautiously hopeful.
    Paul, do you mind if I share what you wrote with him?

  2. Paul says:

    Evelyn – good to hear you and the no longer ex are working together on your relationship – it never stops nor should it.
    of course you must share these ideas and see if they are the key points for your relationship!

  3. Sarah says:

    Conrats on 22 years, Paul and Andrea!
    Your words are certainly ones to “live” by when it comes to not only marriage but a relationship. I look forward to finding that someone whom I can spend the next 22+ years of my life with. 😀

  4. MaryS says:

    So awesome Paul and Andrea! Great news Evelyn! Congrats! I failed at it twice and felt I had what it took and was ready. Hmmm. Food for thought huh? I was immature and so was (were) my husbands. After two failures and only being in my early 30’s, I gave up on love all together. How dumb is that!
    By the end of the second marriage, I was a widow and had 2 children to raise alone. Widow and kids both from the first marriage. Now I’m in my 50’s and may never get another chance at true love. So I envy you and Andre and especially Evelyn for getting a 2nd chance!! I too forwarded your words to my daughter and her husband. I think they should hear them. I think everyone should! I think children who were broken in their childhoods have more odds against them, but it can work. Both of my children are married and although they have struggled, they are hanging in with their marriages after almost 8 years for my daughter and over 13 for my son! Yay!
    I do love marriage and love and hope I get another chance!

  5. Paul says:

    as long as you are open to it Mary….

  6. GRANDMA MIL says:

    Dear Paul and Andrea,
    A big MAZELTOV (congratulations) to you! You were
    “bachert” (destined) to be together, and may the coming anniversaries be a testament to your love and devotion “through thick and through thin”.
    Ellie and I will be married 57 years in 2010; talk about “through thick and through thin”; we could all write a book about that, but here WE are, still “standing” in spite of the fact that I am a “little” disabled with two bad knees; Ellie holds my hand when we go about, and watches me like a hawk, and always says “everything will be all right”; his optimism inspires me!
    Again, congratulations! I hope you are not planning to cook for the occasion..go out to the fanciest and most expensive restaurant and CELEBRATE!
    Shalom and love,
    Grandma Mil

  7. Liz says:

    Congratulations! Paul and Andrea!
    Honesty in communication; I see how important that is–my friend and significant other will tell me or I trust him to tell me if I am doing something wrong or about to blunder–it is good to be able to talk to someone and be listened to and be told the honest truth if needed. Still working on the unconditional love as I am at times selfish and look after my goals and needs.
    Being grateful for each day you spend together! Will try pick up on these tips. Thanks.
    Grandma Mil, if they cook at home it is still spectacular as Paul is a great cook and he has the book.

  8. Liz says:

    Sorry to stray from the topic, just to report on the latest: PCs in Victoria the event is sold out but you may find a way to attend as you are already there.
    http://www.beaumarisbooks.com.au/
    Clair, we were not able to organize a shipment this time for many reasons–the bookstore above may be able to send you the copy directly.

  9. Liz says:

    IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
    At the eleventh hour we received an email from the bookstore. THERE IS STILL TIME FOR YOU TO ORDER A BOOK AND HAVE IT SIGNED BY PAUL in exactly 11 hours. Just contact the email below. We did not have time to place orders together, so PCs who cannot make it in person, contact the bookstore directly (Andrew)

  10. Liz says:

    is the email and Andrew is the contact at Beaumaris Bookstore.

  11. liz says:

    So to get a signed copy if you can not make it to the booksigning in 11 hours contact Andrew
    the email is readatbeaumarisbooksdotcomdotau(use symbols for @ and dot)
    This may be your last chance to get your book signed before Christmas as after this location Paul goes to Western Australia and it may be harder to ship from there I don’t know. 🙂

  12. Kelly Haggard says:

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PAUL AND ANDREA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Wahoo!!! Lets face it, any relationship that lasts over 20 years is a miracle and the people have definately worked their butts off or they would not still be together. Tom and I just had our 24 years being together and 20 years of marraige. Wow it seams like forever sometimes, but communicating honestly is the big key. Tell each other what you need and you will never be lacking thereof, unless the other doesnt or cant give you what you want. Then you have to work on it, work on it, work on it. and then when your done, work on it some more.
    I think people give up to quick sometimes, or just don’t want to put the work into working it out. Or maybe they can’t work it out or in a dangerous situation. You never can tell what goes on behond closed doors.
    Anyway, Evelyn, I am so please and happy for you! Why did you not call me and tell me!!!! I mad at you. Ok, I need to call you so true. We need to work a time schedule. It was nice to talk to you when my Dad was sick, You were such a blessing and comfort. Thnaks for that, if I never thanked you. Love ya!
    I am proud that Tom and I have lasted so long, its been tough more than its been easy, there have been more tears than triumps, well maybe the tears were because we triumpsed. I dont know. I do know when I go to bed at night, hes there, hogging the bed and stealing the covers but thats better than the alternative for sure.
    Everyone, just love love love, theres not enough of it in the world. LOVE LOVE LOVE each other.
    Kiss each other and tell every one you love that you love them. I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS!!!
    ok I will shut up.
    Congrats Paul and Andrea, you two were meant to be together, like Tom says. “It was fate that brought us together, it had to be, it’s fate that will keep us together.” I think that is the most romantic thing he ever said to me. We were having a rouigh patch and I didn’t think he loved me anymore and I just had to remember.
    “JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO, DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT LOVE YOU WILL EVERYTHING THAT THEY HAVE”
    I have to remember this, Tom has had to remind me over the years, just because he is not affectionet, doesnt mean he doesnt love me or want to be with me, it just isnt something he does all the time. He realized that if hes not going to show me affection then he had to communicate more effectively so I knew how he was feeling and he had to tell me he loved me more. That was a good substitution and thats comprimise and working on it. He is more affectionette than he used to be cause he knows its important to me. And when he gives to me, I give so much more in return. Marraige is a never ending work of art. Art worth preserving!
    Love to all!
    Kelly

  13. Maria Horos says:

    Hi Paul!
    Congratulations on 22 years of marriage! You are a privileged!
    Liz: I wonder if here in Brazil I can buy the book of Paul?
    Thank you once again. Health for all pc `s!

  14. Evelyn says:

    Kelli, calm down! 😀 even my Mum doesn’t know this yet! I just clued one of my sisters in on Sunday morning after she missed the hints I had dropped into an email (very amused by that). This is still very much part of taking things slowly and easy and needing to work through issues and it’s kind of nice to keep this to ourselves for now. He and I had a pretty intense and at times very rocky relationship in the past and it will be interesting to see how our friends and family will take this, b/c they know how much pain we caused each other and most of them are concerned, not entirely without reason, but they also don’t know the full story, and how much work we put into our own healing and growth in the last two years. I think our actions will be speaking much louder than words ever could, and it will be very much about forgiveness and grace lived.

  15. Liz says:

    Hello Maria:
    The book is available by ordering from Australian book retailers; it is not available yet at bookstores in the US (I checked already). The Nile Bookstore is an online bookstore that may be able to ship to Brazil. The shipping cost may be better if you group your order so there is more than one book to ship–so any other PCs in Brazil join up so you can get the book.
    You can also ask your library in Brazil to borrow it from the National Library of Australia on an interlibrary loan but this may take awhile to happen.
    Evelyn so happy for your relationship evolving–taking it slow and letting it happen on its own course. I am happy for you!!!

  16. Evelyn says:

    Thanks, Liz! so are we (grin, that one still takes some getting used to …)

  17. Melody says:

    Paul, how wonderful for you and Andrea! You made excellent points and the fact that you both are celebrating 22 years certainly is a testament to them! Let’s wish you both 22 more years and another 22 after that!
    Evelyn, wishing you every success as you rebuild with your ex. While I’ve been in touch with mine, and we see each other, he’s still having some difficulty which keeps reconciliation at arm’s length. I’m happy that you’re back and wishing you both the best on your next steps together.
    Grandma Mil–also wonderful for you and Ellie. So much to be happy and thankful for as you continue your walk together.
    And my thanks again to Liz and Sarah (and Paul) for organizing our books. I look forward to my copy!

  18. Evelyn says:

    Thank you Sarah, Liz and esp. Paul! I just got my cookbook and am going to spend some one on one time with it now! Good thing semester break is about to start, I will have more time to cook! Am in a happy mood, and the Gl

  19. Liz says:

    I got my book today too! I am not about to cook yet as you Evelyn. Just happy to get a signed copy–there are articles and lots of tips and it’s funny too. I think I can do the beer battered fish fillet–that looks doable to me and the chocolate double dipped strawberries by his daughter, Elise, that is elegant yet simple to do. Paul uses a lot of beer, German beer and prob you know all these beers Evelyn. I saw the wheat beer in the store.
    Thanks Sarah for making this possible and thanks to Paul for such a wonderful book! Many more cookbooks to come!

  20. Evelyn says:

    I think my food vocabulary is about to increase significantly! Reading through recipes, I noticed a lot of ingredients I’ve never heard of, maybe they are local or just called something different down under. There’s a lot that caught my attention, but I think I will have to go for a lamb dish first, that is if I can find good lamb. That’s so hard to get here in StL! and Liz, you know when cooking with beer, you have to have some while preparing the dish! 🙂

  21. Liz says:

    I will drink the beer Evelyn while preparing the dish; that is why he said I need 4 beers to try with the beer batter. I like the book for the stories that he tells about how he got started with cooking esp the cheese sandwich–great storytelling and the stories and people that go with each recipe. It is good reading but I get it we are supposed to cook with the book.

  22. Liz says:

    ANNOUNCEMENT:
    For those faraway PCs who would like a signed copy of the book, contact Andrew at Beaumaris.com.au and he may yet be able to find a way to have this done. (My last minute email order got lost he said and I just got a reply now.)

  23. Kelly Haggard says:

    I cant wait to get my book! Athough I have finals next week and Paige has 3 dance performances so I wont have time to cook anything till Thursday anyway at the earliest. It looks cool from the photo, very large book, I cant wait! I have a local wine and spirit shop that sells tons of foreign foods and beers so I should be able to find exactly what I will need!
    Love to all
    Kelly

  24. Evelyn says:

    my copy is currently looking super good under the X-mas tree! 🙂

  25. abeth19 says:

    Congratulations to Paul and Andrea. It takes lots of patience and courage to keep a marriage going for any length of time. Keep up the good work!!

  26. greg m says:

    Paul, greg m here from nyc, I haven’t been here in a while and I was so excited to see you have a cookbook! Over the years i have tried your recipes and always had great results. Congratulations! and for your anniversary too.

  27. kelly haggard says:

    Well pc’rs
    My final grades were A in my english class and a B in algebra. I cant wait for my computer class to start.
    Happy holidays everyone!
    Kelly

  28. kelly haggard says:

    Well pc’rs
    My final grades were A in my english class and a B in algebra. I cant wait for my computer class to start.
    Happy holidays everyone!
    Kelly

  29. liz says:

    Kelly congrats on doing well. PCs are just so good at many things.
    Report on beer batter experiment: using a pale ale like Sapporo gives a bland light fish (I would recommned spicing up the flour); using a porter like Black Butte gave a brown fish fillet that tasted very good. The beer if it is cold and fizzy gives a light airy batter. (When I make tempura they usu have you put ice cubes to make the batter crisp and light so makes sense to keep your beer cold as you make the batter and drink it, the beer not the batter). The book says to try 4 beers–yeah go for it try it with all the beers you can think of. Great book, Thanks Paul. Looking forward to your amazing beer cookbook.

  30. Sarah says:

    Just popping in again. So happy to see the books are landing at their destinations. I have looked partially through my copy but have not had the time to make anything.
    Last weekend I had my last trip of the year to Montreal. It was a fabulous, if not a bit cold, weekend and I came home feeling really amazing.
    This weekend we had a blizzard. I have approximately 24 inches of white stuff outside my house. There is possibly more – quite honestly I can’t get out of my house right now to verify. 😉 My neighbor is coming over tomorrow to help dig me out. (It’s only stopped snowing tonight.)
    Christmas is nearly here. I hope everyone here at PC has a lovely holiday with family and friends.
    My Christmas gift to myself is my surgery, now scheduled for January 26. 🙂

  31. Liz says:

    Sarah, glad to know you are still connected to the outside world even with the snow piling up on you; make sure your neighbor clears the snow soon. Thank you for shipping out all the Mercurio’s Menu books. Update us on your preparations for the surgery which is soon. Will there be someone with you and where will Mina stay while you are in the hospital?
    PCs update: Paul will feature free range chickens and eggs on the menu
    http://freerangereggs.blogspot.com/

  32. Sarah says:

    Liz, I’ve actually been “dug out” so I can get outside the house. I have the best neighbors in the world. 😀
    My mom and her partner are planning to come up for a week or so for my surgery. They’ll stay at the house with the kitties the two days I’m in the hospital.
    If you click on my name at the bottom you can look at my snow pics. 🙂

  33. Maria Horos says:

    Hello all PC’s! I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, with much peace and health. May your feasts end of year are very bright. Thank you all for your attention, the moments of joy when I read the post’s.
    All the emotions …

  34. Paul says:

    Wow Sarah amazing photos! It so weird to see that as here where I live that is just not something we ever see!
    Kelly big congrats on your grades – bloody well done to you!
    Sorry about my writing style – messy!!!! – anyone having trouble reading what I wrote I appologise to. I often cannot read my own writing!!
    I generally write – “to …. best wishes to you
    Happy Cooking
    Paul Mercurio”
    I may have written a couple of other bits send me a photo and I will try to decipher it.
    Glad Evelyn you tried the fish beer batter test and glad to hear you used an insipid beer and got an insipid result – goes to show the nuances that beer actually does provide!
    Keep the recipe experiences comingas the feed back is great for how I will approach and write my next book!

  35. Sarah says:

    Paul, it’s actually been quite some time since this area got that much snow dumped on it! The main road still wasn’t plowed as of 3:30 this afternoon. *sigh*
    Also, I had no trouble reading your writing… of course I used to work for a group of doctors so I have an advantage. LOL
    I’m looking forward to trying some of the recipes, and finding out my mom’s thoughts when she opens her copy Christmas Day!

  36. Liz says:

    No trouble with reading the writing; your writing is very readable, not messy at all.
    For the US PCs who now have the book, be the first to write a review at the US bookseller sites–you can write a review as you have read the book!!!Just go to the book retailer site and write your review.
    Thanks again for such a great book–good Christmas gift, except I have 2 in my name, so if there is any PC with the same name, I will give you my extra book.

  37. Liz says:

    Merry Christmas to Paul, Cat and the PCs!
    Maria in Brazil, Grandma Mil and Julie in FL, Sarah in VA, MaryS in CO, Evelyn in St. Louis, Kelly (where are you in the US?), Marian, Melody in IL and countless PCs that I failed to mention. Merry Christmas!!!

  38. Liz says:

    Clair in the UK, Merry Christmas!!!

  39. Sarah says:

    Kelly is in MI. 🙂

  40. Evelyn says:

    Happy Holidays to you all!