your choice

The only supposed rule I have asked for to be followed here is that people not be offended by some ones point of view. Share, express, discuss, honour, laugh, cry, debate, communitcate but DO NOT TAKE OFFENCE!!!
I can not remember anyone writing a post to this site with the express intention of offending someone. I can remember on too many occassions people taking offence at something – but what a waste of time and a good opportunity! If I take offence at something someone writes or says to me the first question is to myself – why am I reacting in that manner, which of my buttons did that idea or phrase push, why am I CHOOSING to react in that manner. How I react or act in any given situation is my choice – no one can make me react in that manner it is my choice even when I do not know it, even when I (choose to) blame some one else.
When something on this site pushes my button I have written on occassion “thank you for pushing my buttons this is how I felt…. I will think on this further”
Right now I am angry. I dont want peolpe to get offended, I dont want people to argue or clash, I dont want people to be negative or aggressive or bitchy. I never have in my life and not on this site but maybe my head is still in the sand and the fact is people are all those things and more and I am just ignorant and stupidly niave for thinking it could be different here.
So make a choice people right here and right now.
I do not believe an argument has to dip into the realms of negativity nor do I believe we need to dip into the realms of personal offence – if you do, dont bother posting here.

104 Responses to “your choice”

  1. Peter says:

    Paul, point well taken. I admire your integrity.
    I don’t, however, find it easy to concede to Richard’s cheap shot. Some explanation may have softened the offence. Please don’t ask me to apologise for that.
    I apologise to you directly if I have gone against the spirit of this place.
    Micheal, I most sincerely apologise if my comments appeared predjudiced. They were not meant to be aimed at the gay community or any other. My comments were more aimed at the visual media and their presentation. Perhaps my words were not well chosen.
    Again, I apologise if I have offended you.
    Signing out,
    Peter

  2. Paul says:

    I have been away filming for a couple of days – talk about that later.
    I know gay people who are happy to be called Queen and in fact you seemed happy to describe yourself that way in the beginning of your post Michael.
    I know Black people who are happy to call each other nigger but not happy if I do.
    In Australia Queen is a term of endearment and offence – although I would say more often friendly and can be used by any one in that way. Queen used to be a derogatory word but as the gay movement has become more mainstream it too has become a more endearing mainstream word. Nigger still has not and even as I type it I feel uncomfortable using the word as I still see it as a mark of disrespect. This confuses me as to why Black people will call each other this when it has had such terrible conotations. Is this the right of passage into mainstream or just a cultural spin on owning the word and there by making it acceptable???
    To me the idea that perhaps both Peter and Michael are talking about is the way that the media runs with cliches in order to make money and advertising revenue and that I believe is often damaging to the respect and dignity of various cultures and sadly, and ultimately, to the viewer.
    Often in Australia when a show is rating not so well or they wish to be controversial they will have a girl girl or a boy boy kissing scene. Mundane, tedious, exploitive, all words used to describe Queer Eye in the previous post funnily enough – which by the way my girls watch and my wife and I also but it is becoming tired with the same old queenie gags. But Elise loves it. Apparently Australia is to make it’s own version -another crass marketing push and Elise recognises it as such and has no intrest.
    As for me I have only played a gay once and my choice was to play him straight. Have you ever noticed how straight guys love to dress up and play queens – well on aussie tv anyway. In “Red Ribbon Blues” I played an HIV gay man. I played him straight in the sense that I didnt go sterotypical gay, queer or queen- are they the stereotypical and there fore the minority? I played a man with a life, with loves and desires, dreams and hopes – I played a human being caught up in the act of living. Ru Paul, Debi Mazar and John Epperson were my co stars. It was quite funny as John was the old drag queen who was on the way out and Ru Paul was the new drag queen on the way in. We spent most days on set listening to them do Mummy Dearest quotes!
    Perhaps I should just butt out and let the discussion take it’s course.

  3. Paul says:

    Peter thank you. I do not ask you to appologise I only ask that we all think about the subject of this post.
    I am sorry to say I thought Richards statement was a low shot also. I appreciate perhaps Richard was looking out for a friend but I think we are all friends here and as such treat each other as friends. Support not protection is what we seek here.
    Nor did I think your or Michaels words were predjudiced. Offence seemed to be the chosen tack – I am seeking to step back from that and I ask the same from every one else.

  4. Grandma Mil says:

    Dear Paul,
    Thank you for the new thread. Glad to hear that you are filming…is it a new project?
    Peter and Hanh paid me a lovely compliment, and I want to thank them, Evelyn, my parents, the audiences that I entertain, the Old Testament, and my dear husband for using the term “Queen” in describing me. I accept it proudly!
    I am in good company with: Queen Elizabeth 1 and 2, the other Queens of England and Scotland, the Queen of Sheba, Queen Esther, and Queen Latifah. I am sure there are many more, too numerous to mention or remember!
    Tim, so happy to learn you are planning to come to FIF! Don’t worry about the tap dance. However, I will keep a space open for you if you do decide to do it. Good luck with your studies! The time will go quickly, you’ll see!
    Peace and Love,
    Auntie Mil, Queen Mum, Mil

  5. Karen says:

    There’s a very good set of both print and TV advertisements for HSBC Bank out at the moment. The print ads show repeated images of, for example, a banana on a plate, and under each is written a different connotation that might be taken from the image: ‘slapstick comedy’, ‘food’, ‘racist insult’ etc. The TV advert shows a guy touring the world on a motorbike and everywhere he goes, people smile and give him the A-OK hand signal (forefinger and thumb touching to form a ring with remaining fingers splayed out and above it.) Everywhere he goes, he gets this signal and returns it. It’s a good feeling. Then, he goes into a Brazilian bar and is asked (in gestures) if his food is okay. He gives the same signal, and the bar goes quiet; large looking guys suddenly bulk up and look threatening and the poor biker is just, “What?!”
    Seems that in Brazil that signal is an insult.
    So I think that no matter where you go in the world, choice of words and actions will cause offence with someone. For instance, ‘chuffed’ here in the UK means ‘really pleased’ but when I said it to an American friend, she got upset and asked why I was angry with her. Similarly, I said to the same friend once, “Well now we’re quits,” – meaning we’re level again. She took it in the American sense of “now we’re through, goodbye.” Ouch. That one took some frantic explaining…
    *sigh* Anyhow, after that long ramble I just wanted to say that you’re right; we shouldn’t take offence, but that’s the one thing about the internet: you can’t read the tone of people’s voices when they’re typing, and reactions come hard and are posted fast. If we all had to write letters and physically post them in a mailbox to state how upset/angry we were, we’d probably not bother half the time.

  6. Paul says:

    Thank you Karen!
    Some how I am sure Tim has a tap routine he could do???????

  7. Mary says:

    For me, one of the lovely things about calling into the Corner is the contact with an openness and equilibrium that you don’t always meet out in ‘the real world’. I have always felt that Paul sets the spirit of this and nurtures it, but that those who come here build on what he sets in motion and each one becomes an integral part of the whole process. One of the important elements of the energy of the place is, in my opinion, the fact that after the initial welcome, which is always warm, you then begin the process of getting to know everyone. As Karen said, when we read words on a computer screen, we are missing many of the important dimensions of the person writing because of the lack of physical contact. This is where the time thing comes in. I have been coming here for about eight months now but I still consider myself to be a relative newbie. Not because I feel that I have to go through an initiation procedure or a probationary period or anything like that! But because I feel I am still in the early (very exciting ) stages of getting to know the people here as fully as I possibly can. I really hope that people would still be open to getting to know me and will always leave open the possibiltity of getting to know me further. Paul is another case in point. Because, like everyone else here, I came into contact with him as a character in a film that I could watch and re-watch at my leisure, it was natural enough to come here feeling that I ‘knew’ him in some way. But very quickly I realised that in many ways it was the same procedure with him as with everyone else. I learn more and more about him each time he writes. Like everyone else here, he is so muti-faceted that I could spend the rest of my life getting to know him and still not get the full picture. But that’s the wonderful thing about getting to know someone whose presence in your life you value.
    I agree with you Paul when you say that you cannot remember people ever posting here to offend. That has been my experience too. Very often, I would not post a response to something but would actually spend time thinking and reflecting on what was written. On occasions, when I have felt myself reacting to something that was written, I have gone on to learn a great deal about myself by by doing this. In fact this is why I value coming here as an important facet of my growth on this journey.
    Paul, I value very much what you have created here. In whatever way I can, I would like to contribute in a positive way to what you are about. I am so grateful for the growing friendships and contacts that have come into my life from this place. Thanks.
    Peter, I hope I’m over-reacting here (the ‘signing out’ made me nervous) but please don’t disappear on us. Personally, I value very much the connection that I feel with you and do not want to lose it.
    Love & best wishes to all in the Corner,
    Mary

  8. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Paul,
    Tell me about your motorcycle.
    Joe

  9. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Don’t we all have imperfections or what we preceive as imperfections or what we think others will perceive as imperfections. For myself I am the tallest in the family with the biggest feet and and largest nose (I used to think, as a teenager, that my nose looks like it ate my face). I even thought about having a “nose” job at one time, but decided it was a family nose and kept it. Imperfections or what we preceive as imperfections, physical, emotional, mental, make up the wonderful diverse world that we are. Wouldn’t be be awful if we woke up one day and we all looked alike, thought alike, and so forth. We would all bore ourselves to death. Even my brother has called me an Amazon because of my height (I’m only 5’7′, but he is 5’4′). We should not fight about our differences, but embrace the diversity that makes up the wonderful human race.

  10. Kim (UK) says:

    Jo yes we do have imperfections, I hold my hands up to that one. I’m the shortest one in the family I’m only 5’1″. I don’t like my ears I never have and at one stage I was thinking of having them done but then I watched a programme about it and it put me right of. I had visions of having them done and then when they removed the bandages my ears would come of with it so I said NO to that one so I’ve kept them. I just don’t care if I’m not seen as being the perfect height, the perfect size etc I like who I am as a person and to me that is all that matters.
    Hello to Paul and everyone else here. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend.
    Love, Kim

  11. Robyn says:

    Thank you for this new thread, Paul.
    I am saddened and surprised that the posts of late have turned ugly on what used to be such a fun place. I visit often but don’t post much only because I prefer to “lurk”. I enjoy reading everyone’s input and look forward to being here every day.
    I think it is a shame that we now need rules, but thank you, Paul for setting down what used to be called etiquette. Common sense and common courtesy is something we all lack at one time or another, but as, you said, “how I react or act in any given situation is my choice.”
    Peter, I agree with Mary. Your “signing out” sounds like you are leaving us. Please don’t go! You make me laugh and give me insight into an array of topics that I would otherwise never think about.
    I think Mary also has a good point about people’s perception of Paul. We all came here because we saw him in a film and were delighted to find that he was nice enough to interact with his fans. Then, after the thrill of actually “talking” to a movie star wears off, the longer you stay here, the more you appreciate Paul as a human being. Perhaps the movie star part clouds people’s perceptions and people get too familiar, thinking they “know” him, as Mary said. Perhaps the expectations are such that since this is an internet site, and Paul’s blog to boot, that there is no need for courtesy since we are all anonymous. But, are we really? Words still make an impact whether written or spoken, so we should choose them wisely.
    Robyn

  12. Marge says:

    WOW!
    My attitude on the recent subjects that have been mentioned are this. I don’t care at all who a person is, or what that person is. I try to treat everyone I meet with respect, and hope those people to give me respect in return.
    Boardies
    Thank you for your input about boardies. I would imagine that the term boardies comes from riding the boards while surfing. They are very popular with the boys here. The girls are wearing hip huggers with short tops. Having a tattoo on their back just above the hip huggers is becoming popular.
    It cracks me up that they all think this is a new fashon. NOT!
    Paul
    I cannot visualize you in boardies. I picture you more in George Straight Jeans and a tank top.
    Happiness if something that comes into our lives through a door we don’t remember leaving open.
    Love to all, and take care
    Marge

  13. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Paul, Robyn, Mary you are all such wise people. You say what I can’t or don’t have the words to say. Bless you.
    Kim, I would give almost anything to be 5’1″. I started growing at age 13 and it seemed like I would never stop. Mom used to say they were going to have to put a rock on my head, then I started trying to slump over, which made it even more noticable.
    Hello to everyone on the site and have a great week-end.

  14. Michael says:

    Hello Everyone:
    This is probably going to be a long post. I know that this is not generally liked. Sorry. For those of you who do not like the long post, this is the time to hit the scroll key and move down to the next post. Although I hope that you don

  15. Vicki (in California) says:

    Hello, everybody. Isn’t it strange how we perceive ‘attractiveness.’ Jo (in Texas) thinks she’s too tall. Kim thinks she’s too short and has ear issues. My family always makes fun of my nose (too big) or my height (5′ 2″), or my weight (Dad says I’m not too fat, I’m just 2′ too short!). And let’s not even talk about the media who promote the ‘Barbie doll’ image. Yet, when you hit the streets, lo and behold! Just ordinary, everyday folks. Ever notice how when you first meet someone, you make a sort of assessment as their level of attractiveness? Then, after you get to know them, if they’re nice people, they get better looking, and if they’re mean people, they get uglier? Sometimes, I think we could all benefit from losing our eyesight for awhile – to allow our perspective to be influenced by senses other than sight. I know, I know, initial attractions are almost always based on physical attributes. But what if they weren’t? What if you met people and formed your opinions on what you heard from them, how they expressed they outlook on life, what their dreams and fears and perceptions are? (Or how they expressed themselves in PC land?) I know I’m just entertaining false hopes. But you know, as a younger person, I was slimmer and more attractive, and as I get older and the waistline expands and the face shows the lines of my journey through life, I am struck by the way people treat me differently over time. I’m still the same person (well, maybe even a little bit better person, I hope!), but people see me differently. In fact, alot of the time I feel invisible, like people don’t see me at all. Well, folks, Barbie has definitely left the building! But I’m still here….
    Vicki (in California)

  16. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Vicki,
    I simply could not pass up telling you this story. One day I took my VW battery into what was in Montgomery Wards to have it recharged. The sales clerk, who was a young man, was talking to a very attractive young woman. I was around 50 at the time and looking everyday of 50, of course. He told me to just leave the battery beside the desk and he would check it in and I could pick it up a couple of hours later. ALL his attention was on the pretty young woman. As I walked away I thought “I am never going to see my battery again.” Sure enough two hours later when I went to pick it up they had no idea where my battery was, so I got a new one in its place. All his attention had been on the pretty face and not his job.

  17. Sherrlyn says:

    Jo: I hear you loud and clear. Similar incident at a restuarant with DH. Waiter was more interested in the two gals in the booth across the aisle than on us (he was not their waiter).
    I flagged down another waiter for more tea, and when we finished our meal I paid the check. You guessed it NO TIP. This fool was johnny on the spot with our ticket and was johnny on the spot to pick it up as we left. The manager, who has worked in other restuarants we frequent made the mistake of asking how everything was. I pulled no punches. I let him know right quick that I had not left our waiter a tip and why. We frequent that resturant at least 3 times a month and I’ve not seen him there since. But that’s just me.
    I’m not even going to justify the posts that have set Paul off.
    Hope all have a nice weekend, think I’ll go spackle some nail holes.
    Lottery is 100M tonight. Would love to win, I know a certain family down under that we would all love to see in Florida come February.
    Hugs to all, specially to those who need one and those who don’t know they need one.
    Sherrlyn

  18. KELLY says:

    Jo,
    WOW! My brother used to call me Amazon, too! I am 5’6″, but he called me that cause I am tough, and can scrap with the best of them!
    Paul, I too, have often wondered about the differences with the “n” word. Being the “shy” person that I am, I asked a few different black friends of mine to see what the anwers would be and they all gave me the same answer. nigger is a term of offense , weather a black person or anyone else uses it. nigga, is a term of endearment between black people, like , “Hey friend”, or “what up, friend” it’s the “a” on the end that makes all the difference. I always wondered about that, too. I just have great friends that know my heart and know that I wondered curiously, not offensively. It has nothing to do with them thinking “they can do it and no one else can” Not that it matters at all, but just thought I would share that.
    Peace and love to all on the corner,
    Let’s all remember we are here to make each other feel better when needed, pick each other up and share our joys with each other. LETS STAY POSITIVE !!!! I LOVE YOU ALL !!!
    Speaking of joy………….Clay had a 300 foot hit tonight!!!!! Yes , in the air and no bouncing or rolling in that 300 feet! He played tonight, he jsut hit, nothing else. He struck out his first time up, got single his second time, and double his third. He hit it into the “warning area of the field” Thats 300 feet! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy I was bouncing off the walls!!!!! well, fence anyway.
    It felt like heavon he was playing, then to do awesome was icing on the cake. He felt great and no pain in his foot at all, he ran about 75% his normal speed, so he is still working at getting 100%. He wont pitch at all this year, but he will probobly play first base soon, though. More games tommorrow. Anyway…. I’M HAPPY , I’M HAPPY I’M HAPPY, DID i SAY I’M HAPPY!!!! I LOVE BASEBALL, I LOVE MY SON, I LOVE YOU GUYS.
    AND YES PAUL, YOUR’E FIRST IN LINE FOR A KISS “SPWOOOOOOOOOOCH” (THAT WAS A KISS)
    LOVE TO ALL,
    KELLY

  19. Linda Thomas says:

    All I can say about all of this is: In my business, interior design, I have many good friends that happen to be gay. Sexual orientation is of no importance in the scheme of life. My niece just came out this year after many years of inner struggle. But, again, it is of no importance. I love her very much – perhaps a little more for her courage to choose.
    Life is way too short and whatever gets you through without hurting anyone – wonderful!
    Love to all,
    Linda

  20. Monika says:

    Hello everyone,
    I don’t know if it is usefull to say this, but I just give it a try:
    My boss is gay too and I don’t have any problems with that, neither has one of my colleagues. We always have so much fun with him.
    One day, stupid me, asked him “something” that probably would have made an other gay, who didn’t know me, very sad or hurt…
    It wasn’t that bad what I’ve asked him, but I felt so extremely stupid, guilty and ashamed for asking him.
    So when my other colleagues went home I had a confersation with him to appologize. He said:
    Oh no you silly girl, I am not sad or hurt, I know you, you would NEVER do or say anything to hurt me or anyone else…and we both laughed…
    I think I am just trying to say exactly what Mary said, we don’t know each other that well as we think we do….
    Love and peace…
    Monika

  21. Paul says:

    Michael, why are you lecturing me? or any of us here. Why do you think we do not understand. Why do you assume that we are not educated in the use of words. Why do you speak for a whole group of people that have never had cause to be offended by this site – my good gay friends included? Why are you offended by Peters words or mine for that matter? What right do yo have to speak for some gay people that may be offended by words written on this board. Let them speak for themself and let you speak for yourself.
    It would seem to me that you are feeling that you are a minority here and have decided to weild a big stick for all of those others that are being offended even though they themselves have not made mention as such.
    It is not my concern that this is or is not a gay freindly place – why do you have to make such a distinction? You said quote “Peter: I did not think for one minute that you were trying to be mean or rude or insulting or homophobic” Then what are you defending? what are you offended by? Why do you fear this may not be a gay friendly place. Look back over the posts and you will see that in over two years you are the first and only person that has had an issue with this. That to me says you have an issue not this blog nor the people that come here.
    It is frustrating to me that in your attempt “to inform, educate, and enlighten about a culture of people that you may not be completely familiar with. I do not mean this in a condescending way” you are absolutely condescending to me and the others that come here to inform and communicate with each other! Sometimes when people tell me what they are not trying to do what they really means is that is exactly what they are doing but please dont take it that way. I am not stupid. In that statement you completely disregard my life experience which I am not going to bother you with now because apparently you know best. You have missed the point of this site by a fair margin.
    Oh by the way – a very good gay friend of mine was murdered – beaten to death by young fools for being gay, I have been beaten up because I am a dancer and thus considered gay, I was almost raped by gay men because they thought “he is a dancer he is a gay” I could go on but wont -so dont for a moment think I do not know what I am talking about, that I do not have life experience or that I do not know the power of words (I am an an actor – one who deals in the power of words amongst other things)nor that I do not know understand or live the prejudices of this world.
    I have been a member of the gay community by way of friend, confidant, icon for over 25 years and whilst I am not gay I do know what it is like to be a part of a minority. Do not lecture me – life has many challenges, it is those that hide behind their minority that often become the most bigoted. It is those that embrace their own selves that are more able to embrace the wider nature of the community we all share and live in.
    Lastly you finish with saying ” Okay, lecture done. Obviously, I have a lot more to say, but I

  22. Grandma Mil says:

    Peter, please contact me via email, veddy important, having to do with FIF!
    Love,
    Grandma Mil

  23. KELLY says:

    Paul, God bless you for the things you have overcome in your life and career. It is these things we overcome that make us the strong free-willed people that we are today. Bless you for always staying true to yourself and your family.
    Well off to another exciting day of baseball!!
    whaoo!! love it love it love it.
    Love to all on the corner
    Kelly

  24. texas says:

    hello paul, grandma mil and everyone else. it’s been awhile since i’ve visited. i was happy to read the article on andrea on the homepage. great news about her career…not so great about her cartilage. hope the girls are well. have they shown interest in dancing or perhaps another passion as they are growing up??
    sorry to hear there have been some misunderstandings on the board. i think sometimes in print it’s hard to assertain a person’s mood or intent. and, if it is a harsh one, once it’s written and out there, it’s hard to take back. paul’s corner has always been a place where tolerance and unity have been taken to almost hippy-esque levels of sap (and i’m saying that with much love and a little humor). being an open-hearted and open-minded forum means keeping the doors open for even negative opinions. though, hopefully, they are few and far between and are not pointed at other posters, but, rather, at larger issues effecting us, like say the state of the u.s. healthcare system or the atkins diet.
    for those of you who know/remember me, my mom is doing extremely well a year after hep c treatments, and i have started my own business, which has been the most terrifying and exciting time of my life.
    all the best,
    texas

  25. Grandma Mil says:

    Dear Texas,
    Glad to hear from you again, and to learn your Mom is doing better, and that you now have your own business!
    Best wishes to you and your Mom, and may only good things continue for you, deep in the heart of Texas! (I just had to say that, forgive me!)
    Peace and Love,
    Mil

  26. Claire says:

    Dear Paul,
    Your words to Michael were powerful, sobering, and food for thought.
    Thank you for sharing such a lesson on tolerance and understanding.
    God bless you,
    Claire

  27. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Claire,
    Again, someone said what I don’t have the words to say.
    Paul, you are one heck of a nice guy!!

  28. Marge says:

    PAUL Right On!
    I think we are all a little tired of this subject and want to get on to more possitive subjects. Things on my mind right now are;
    1. Mourning the death of President Reagan,
    2. The death of Ray Charles, who was not only a wonderful entertainer but a great embassadore to music of all different kinds.
    Luna, the wayward Orca, who has become separated from his family pod.
    Kelly
    Great to have you back in such good spirits and being there for your son’s baseball games. I too enjoy baseball a lot.
    Michael
    When you first appeared here, I really enjoyed your posts that, were so beautiful. Recently I have been disapointed in what you have written. I don’t use these words. They are not even in my vocabulary. I honed in on you being gay, even before you posted the above mess. But I did not care about that. You have a gift of expression that we all envy, when you are not talking about words that hurt people’s feelings.
    Homophobic? I had to look it up.
    Time has a way of showing us what really maters.
    Take care, Love to all
    Marge

  29. Paul says:

    Peter, I didnt really notice that you ended your post here with “signing out”. I sincerely hope that it does not mean that you are leaving us here. I would be very disappointed if you felt that you had gone against the spirit of this board – in fact you my friend are an integral part of the spirit of this board.
    I would be extremely disappointed if you felt that you were some one who dipped in to negativity or realms of personal offence. For as long as I have known you you have done neither.
    I hope to read from you soon.

  30. Whitney Eskew says:

    Hey to all. I’ve been trying to catch up. I think I’ll pass on the controversy as I feel Paul and all have hopefully worked this out.
    What I really want to say is congratulations on the upcoming production of Swan Lake! I was very excited to read the article on the home page! I would so love to see a performance, but I suspect my presence will be in spirit only. Thanks for sharing this great news.
    Best,
    Whit
    ps love you Mil.

  31. Sherrlyn says:

    I received this in my e-mail from a friend and thought I should share it with the ‘Corner’, hope you enjoy.
    “Life”
    Life isn’t about keeping score.
    It’s not about how many friends you have
    Or how accepted you are.
    Not about if you have plans this weekend or if
    you’re alone.
    It isn’t about who you’re dating, who you used to date,
    how many people you’ve dated, or if you haven’t been
    with anyone at all.
    It isn’t about who you have kissed.
    It’s not about sex.
    It isn’t about who your family is or how much money
    they have.
    Or what kind of car you drive.
    Or where you are sent to school.
    It’s not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
    Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on,
    or what kind of music you listen to.
    It’s not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown.
    Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
    Not about what grades you get, how smart you are,
    how smart everybody else thinks you are, or how
    smart standardized tests say you are.
    It’s not about what clubs you’re in or how good you
    are at “your” sport.
    It’s not about representing your whole being on a piece
    of paper and seeing who will “accept” the written you.
    LIFE JUST ISN’T.
    But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
    It’s about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
    It’s about keeping or betraying trust.
    It’s about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
    It’s about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful,
    maybe heartening.
    About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
    It’s about what judgments you pass and why. And who
    your judgments are spread to.
    It’s about who you’ve ignored with full control and intention.
    It’s about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
    It’s about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and
    spreading it.
    But most of all, it’s about using your life to touch or
    poison other people’s hearts in such a way that could
    have never occurred alone.
    Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and
    those choices are what life’s all about.
    Hugs to all.
    Sherrlyn

  32. Paul says:

    Texas always good to hear from long missing friends. Glad to hear you and your Mum are well
    Gidday Whit! Andrea’s last performance is tonight. She has really enjoyed it but she is pretty happy that it is over too. She will back home with her girls! hope all is well with you.
    Hahn, I am looking forward to how you paraphrase my latest little rant??

  33. Hanh says:

    Telegram to Paul:
    Running to FedEx office right now to overnight emergency Valium. Stop. Ingest no more than 500mg daily. Stop. Do not take with alcohol. Stop. Beer in brisket marinade ok. Stop.

  34. Paul says:

    Hahn, promise not to take medication with Beer. Stop. will take with glass of water. stop. then take beer.stop? never!

  35. melinda says:

    Hello Everyone,
    I realize that I am a little late into this conversation but I would like to share my opinion. I was raised by my grandparents and they tought me that it is not who the person is on the outside but who they are on the inside…I am teaching my children the same thing…everyone is different…if we were all the same then the world would be boring. People get picked on because they are to fat or to short or they dress funny just because the person making fun of them does not want to invest the time to get to know that person on the inside. I have always been a big girl and my friends who have truly invested the “time” to get to know me on the inside dont even see me as a large person. My entire life that i can remember I have been big and made fun of and I hoped that none of my children would have to endure the same situation. Which so far none of them have…So it doesnt matter what the outside looks like…as long as you are a beautiful person on the inside you will go to great places in life with your true friends at your side…and to all of those who dont invest the time to get to know the real you dont let them affect you if they say mean or hurtful things…yes it may hurt at the time but let the hurt drift away with the wind…i find that when i am truly sad or upset i just go outside and let the wind hit my face and when i return to the house i feel better and as if the stress was lifted…not that you all really thought my opinion would be so long…then again i could probably go on for a long time…lol…Love to all and I truly hope that you all have a wonderful day.
    Melinda

  36. Dhiana says:

    Well, Hi-dee-Hooooo, Neighbors!
    (ahem to the topic at hand…good ole me, using the “avoidance technique” again…works like a charm every time…Oh, “charm” ha! The witch points her hazel wand at herself and doesn’t even realize it!)
    WELL, first things’ first: (((((HUGZ))))) Paul and everyone. Good to meet all the new folks, too. PETER, dahling…you’ve not taken yourself away from us, have you? I second Paul’s choice of words that you are “integral” (you DID say that, right?) to the integrity of this board. Special squeezes just for you, because…well, because I CAN. ;-)
    Been busy running with my life. Missed you all tons, but sent a private post to Evelyn just to touch base…and heard her good news on the tenured position! Woo-hoo!
    Also, Kelly, congrad’s to Clay and his big hit! We took Jud to the batting cages yesterday–to regain a little confidence lost striking out at bat–and he came outta there sweating bullets, but smiling hugely. That’s the ticket! He’ll go down swinging tonight if it kills him. (or me)
    Uh, let’s see…other news? I’ve lost 19 pounds. (Although “lost” is such a crock of sh**, I know where every blessed ounce went and it was DAMNED hard to get it off and KEEP it off, but it’s staying off…at least while the garden runs green ;-)
    Not much else of interest to you all except I’ve spoken my truth–LOUDLY–to a few people around the workplace about minding one’s own business and decorum in the (at least MY) office (there’s a blockhead who’s reshaped his whole body, looks like a lightbulb actually, and has the GAUL, the freaking NERVE to tell me (working mom, garden, husband, animals, fiber, dishes, laundry all at home after my two hour commute) that I could reshape MY body if only I had my “priorities straight”…WATCH IT, Bub, before I go all Witchy-Poo on your ass! No, I’d never do that. Karma takes care of that FOR me.) Holy shit. WHAT was I saying? Oh yes, speaking my truth when the opportunity arises. Imagine that. Me, getting lost in my own side lines…
    Allright, enough espousing poo from me. I’ll be replaying some of the last posts in my mind in the FOUR freaking hour meeting I have this afternoon (damned Company “X”–honestly, FOUR hours? I’d better bring my big stick to that one, just to keep the cattle moving…) and also thinking of my little chicks who are in an outside coop now and unfortunately NOT bright enough to go into their warm, snuggly, box when it rains, as is predicted later. Bill’s home, though, so perhaps he’ll do the herding for me? What are the chances of that? ;-)
    (Didn’t I say I was leaving?)
    ***Poof!***

  37. KELLY says:

    Melinda,
    Sounds like your grandparents are very special people. The world would certainly be boring if we were at all similar. YUK! There would be no Hahn, or Paul or MIl. How boring! I love the face that we are all so different, yet we all meet in the middle and love each other. I love that! Ya know, being a big girl isn’t all THAT bad. I am a big girl, too. But ohhhhhhhhhhhhh so beautiful!, as you are too. My husband is a thin gourgeous man who definately turns the ladies heads, and although I was 150 pounds thinner when we met, I was still “plump”. All he saw was my spirit, and how I loved him. That’s what he saw. All his prior girlfriends had all been stick thin long legged “beauties”. But what it took to snag the steed was a “real woman”! THATS ME!!! 19 years and 150 lbs later we are still together.
    All we can do in life is teach our kids to be good human beings, and it sounds like you are off to a great start! You sound like a wonderful mother! I, too, love it when the wind hits my face and blows all 25 lbs of my hair around. well, (maybe it ways 10 lbs, it’s long)
    It makes you feel free. My kids have truley good souls and are wonderful people in training.
    sounds like your are ,too. I was picked on in middle school . also, not for being overweight, but for my mother being the softball coach and getting on the slackers for being lazy. So the slackers would “get on me” when mom wasn’t around, and at school. They would tell me they were going to kill my mom if I told her abut them picking on me or spreading rumors about me at school. I believed they would kill her so I shut my mouth. This bullying continued for 3 years, all through middle school, and the first day of highschool I said enough and got into a fight with the ring leader and kicked her ass. funny, they all left me alone after that and every one has turned out to miserable loney lives. GO FIGURE I was always worried my kids would get picked on , too, like it is hereditary or something. But my son made it through without a scratch, and my daughter as well. (although, my son did have a fight on the school bus in 5th grade defending his friend and he did mess the kid up a bit so that probobly helped , and my daughter also last year got into a fight with a bully that was picking on her for getting an award at school, and she took pretty good care of her, so I am sure that helped) What can I say??? I am a huge boxing fan and I made sure they know how to box. (ok maybe me getting picked on in middle school had something to do with it!), but those are the only times it happened and I really don’t condone fighting, just defending yourself. Anyway, sounds like your a great mom and keep up the good work. If ya ever need to talk, I;m here. From one big mamma, to another. (some of my players call me Big mamma” I love it!)
    Love to the corner xoxoxoxoxxo
    Kel

  38. Grandma Mil says:

    “Oh, what a beautiful morning, what a beautiful day”….our goddess Dhi is back, and we missed her, didn’t we?
    She and Kelly brought a big smile to my face early this a.m. I was able to go to the gym to work out (ugh) still smiling!
    Also happy to read the posts from Whit, Linda, Melinda, Sherrlyn, Marge, Jo, Claire, Hahn (are you back from the Fedex place yet?) and, of course, our Paul.
    Listen up, you terrific young women, I am the Big Momma here, and if you happen to be able to come to FIF, you’ll see me parading on stage in my feathered finery (say that 5 times) my costume guru told me last night.
    She found the oversized feathers that I wanted, not from “the chickies in my pen”, but at the local craft store!
    Keep smilin’, keep lovin’!
    Peace and Love,
    Mil

  39. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Melinda and Kelly,
    Kids will always find a reason to pick on another kid. Growing up I was thin. Even as a teenager I was thin (I am not thin today, however), but I was in the last group in the Polio epidemic in the early 50′s so I have one leg shorter than the other and always have walked with a limp. (Not so much today, but I have a crooked spine now instead). I was used as a “target” in volleyball because I couldn’t run, was the last one picked for everything. Instead of fighting I would cry, which made the situation worse. Good for you Kelly, I wish that I could have been more like you.

  40. Beth Ellen says:

    Hi to All!!
    Just a quick note about all the “words” being thrown around. The only way that a “word” can hurt you, offend you, or cause any other emotion for you is if YOU let it. I have been given many “words” in my life, but I only keep the ones that will help me. The ones that hurt, I just “bleep” over them. Sounds simple, huh? Easier said than done. But I keep trying!!
    Love to all!
    Beth Ellen

  41. Kelly says:

    Di,
    We posted at the same time! How are you, now that your meeting is probobly over? Great to hear from you, how are the chicks?
    Jo, I did cry for 3 straight years, then finally reached the boiling point. But I will tell you, I gained a strength that day that I chose to fight, that has never left me to this day. Although I can say I wish AI had never had to have experienced it in the first place. I try very hard to learn something from everything that happens in my life. I try anyway.
    Love to all
    Kel

  42. texas says:

    dhiana,
    wow. congratulations on your weight loss. that is hard to do. what was the inspiration? i know it’s changed your outside, how has it changed your inside??
    i’m currently on a 10-day fast, though, not to lose weight. that will no doubt be a side effect, but my intent is to cleanse. i’m on this bentonite clay fast (tastes terrible) that is supposed to really clean my digestive system out. if anyone is interested i found it on http://www.sonnes.com.
    take care all.

  43. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Kel,
    I still wish I could have been like you. My strength actually came when my future husband asked me on a date. He was “gorgeous”. He looked like Martin Milner the actor – blonde/red hair, freckles, a thin swimmer. My thought was “my god he is asking Quasimoto out”. This is so, so sexist I know, but you take your strength where you can get it.

  44. Mary says:

    Hanh, you do me good. Thanks for making me laugh yet again! Hope all is well with you and that the whirlwind pace at work has slowed down.
    Hi La Dhiana! What can I say? I’d give anything to have been a fly on the wall for that interlude with He Who Has Reshaped His Body. Did he have a death wish or something when he spoke that thought out loud??? When you post, it feels like the Corner is showered with positive energy. Thanks for my share!
    Jo, Melinda, Kelly – I agree with you. I don’t think any of the essence of a person is found in their physical make-up.
    Michelle, you’re in my thoughts. Love & good wishes to you.
    Peter, heading West in a couple of days to another place I feel you’d love. Plenty of cute host rabbits available down there if the mood takes you! Hope you drop by before I take off. Love & good wishes to you too.
    Hi to Paul, Whit, Monika, Robyn, Texas, Linda, Claire, Kim, Beth Ellen & to all my friends here. Love to each one of you.
    Mary

  45. Grandma Mil says:

    Hey, Stephen King fans and Tara Morice fans:
    “Salem’s Lot” written by King, is now a mini-series and is opening on TV this coming Sunday night on TNT.
    I don’t have the time yet, but it probably will be 8 p.m. or 9 p.m. EST Sunday, June 20th.
    “Salem’s Lot” was filmed entirely in Australia, and the location was made to look like a spooky village in New England.
    Rob Lowe, who has a major role, was just interviewed on CNN, and he said it is very creepy.
    He stars along with Donald Sutherland, and if we look carefully we may catch Tara Morice in some kind of minor role. This will be the first time she appears on American television.
    Your scooper,
    Grandma Mil

  46. Hanh says:

    Malka Millie,
    Barring emergency hair appointments (which I must at all cost make — you have not seen the appalling status of my hair), I will be attending the 2005 FIF. Please send necessary logistics, RSVP form, sign-up sheet, non-disclosure agreements, secret password, secret handshake, next-of-kin form, etc.

  47. Jo(In Texas) says:

    I saw this is a Southern Living Magazine and thought everyone might enjoy this.
    Barbecue Restaurant, Joint, or Dive?
    In the upside-down world of barbecue, many think the food is better if it is served in a joint or dive. Here’s a handy field guide of definitions.
    *Restaurant: Matching furniture, taped music, printed menus. Accepts credit cards. Member of Chamber of Commerce.
    *Joint: Screened door, jukebox, beer, chalk-board menu. The cook is nicknamed Bubba. Cash only.
    *Dive: Torn screened door, tattoos, beer, whiskey, flies. No Menu. The cook’s real name is Bubba,and she has a prison record. You don’t tell your mama you go there.
    And my own -
    *Shack: Tin roofed lean-to with picnic tables out front. Serves only barbeque, beans and beer.
    Hello, Grandma Mil, Kim, Mary, Robyn, Kelly, the other Texas, Hahn, Paul, Andrea, 3 E’s and everyone else that I might have missed.

  48. Hanh says:

    LATEST NEWS RELEASE
    According to Ima Nutt, Paul Mercurio

  49. Julie says:

    Hello All,
    Haven’t had much time to read through a lot of the posts but I do want to say hello to the Grand Dame Millie and her Stud Muffin Elliot, Kelly, Peter, Diane, Mary and everyone that I have missed, oh and Paul.
    On the subject of offending people…hmph. We’re 7 billion and counting in the world and difference of opinion no matter how extreme is something we all have to live with and respect.
    So my final word…PEACE!
    In other news school is going well and yes I finally had a crazy adventure last week-end. My dear neighbor had broken off with her long time boyfriend and I decided to take her out to a greek restaurant Satursday night. We talked we laughed and she felt better. I even concinved her to call him and reconsider seeing him again. We’ll see how it turns out.
    That same day my husband called from Europe after attending his best friend’s wedding and told me that he had meet a woman there whom he became very interested in and told me that he encountered the hardest temptation of his life. He then asked me how I felt about our marriage and if I loved him. In normal cercumstances one would scream until the cows came home but I responded that I did love him but it was him who needs to decide whether he wanted to stay in the marriage. There was not much else to do with him being over 3,000 miles away. In the end he choose me and apoligized. I guess many couples go through that and question things one time or another. When he came home we went out for dinner and he asked me marry him all over again (renewing our vows) I responded by telling him that we needed to rediscover eachother and maybe in a year I’ll consider it. He has treated me like a QUEEN ever since. Maybe the guilt will buy us new doors for the house.
    So when asking for adventure, be careful what you wish for. lol
    Love to all!
    PEACE

  50. Hanh says:

    Marge,
    Thanks for the horse book recommendations! I need all the help I can get. Just sprung for some jodhpurs and riding shirts (doggone they’re expensive!) I’m committed now. Few things are as embarrassing as a rider all dudded up like she knows what she’s doing but riding like an idiot. ;)

  51. Evelyn says:

    Okay, I

  52. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Hanh,
    You can’t possibly be wasting your money on riding clothes! My sister-in-law used to ride and she had the whole outfit down to the boots. After she divorced and had to sell her horse she still had the outfit. She wore it to her office party at Halloween and won the best costume prize. Thereafter she wore it every Halloween.
    By the way I almost took that post about Paul seriously.

  53. Hanh says:

    Peter, what’s this about your leaving, mate. Not an option. We will drag you back kicking and screaming, if necessary, sic Guido, tap phone, make your life a living hell. You’ll finally give up, give in, come back.
    You’ll think you’re strong enough to resist (they always do), but as the Borg said to Jean-Luc Picard: “Resistance is futile. You must assimilate.” (I am a pawn in the hands of television and media conglomerates).
    Don’t you be going anywhere, puhhhlease.

  54. Hanh says:

    Jo,
    Glad for that “almost” about taking my post seriously. I am a nut — nothing I say should be taken seriously! ;) ;)
    I LIKE that idea about Halloween! Didn’t think of that. Brilliant!

  55. Peter says:

    Hanh, It was undoubtedly your reference to the Borg that overcame my resistance. I am not sufficiently strong. Yes, I must assimilate.
    I will return in due course.
    Jokes aside, I feel very badly about all that has preceeded. I did blame myself. Unfortunately, this was one occassion where I uncharacteristically allowed emotions to get in the way of logic, and saw myself as having messed up. I guess it’s due to my life’s own “prime directive”, i.e., to never interfere in any situation in a way that will have an adverse outcome. I decided this when I was a young child and have carefully maintained it throughout my existence.
    I am so glad that I have received such support. I truly feared that I had failed, spoiled something wonderful and left an unfortunate legacy.
    Time to move on and leave that stuff behind.
    I don’t think there is any place for blame here.
    Peter

  56. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Hanh,
    I will remember that in the future. Never take you seriously.
    I thought about what Evelyn said about Michael being “censored

  57. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Welcome back Peter.

  58. Sally C. says:

    Hello to Paul, Claire, Robyn, Mil, Mary, Vickie, Jo, Sherrlyn, Kelly, Texas, Marge, Melinda, Dhi, BethEllen, Whit, Julie, Inn, Evelyn, and last but not least, Hanh. I’m sure I missed some, so hello to you, too!
    Hanh, you always make me laugh! “Paul’s Rant Reloaded”, The Return, Final Countdown? You forgot The Curse of Paul’s Rant, Bride of Rant, Son & Daughter of Rant, Rant 2005… I could go on and on! (Stop, you’re making me be bad!! ;o)
    Mil, thanks for the head’s up on Salem’s Lot. I love Stephen King and try to read as many as his works before they’re made into films. Sometimes that’s not too good because I think the book is better than the film and come away disappointed. I watched Kingdom Hospital when it was on – didn’t read that book beforehand – and couldn’t make heads or tales out of the series. I finally gave up, as did most of my friends who were also trying to follow it. Hope this Salem will live up to the older version.
    Texas, thank you for the addy for the fasting regimen. I’ve always thought about a fast but never thought to research it. Thanks for the jump-start!
    Gosh, there have been so many interesting and thought provoking posts here lately, I really can’t comment on them all, as it would take up too much of your time. Just want to thank everyone for sharing.
    Hope everyone has a good night/morning wherever you are.
    Smiles to all,
    Sally C.

  59. Sally C. says:

    Peter! You’re here!! Welcome back, purle suit and all. We love you.
    Sally C.

  60. Mary says:

    Peter, I am so glad to see you back!! Please don’t feel anything but loved and wanted here. At least all of this has given you the chance to see how much we all think of you! Big hug sent down to you from up here.
    Love to you,
    Mary

  61. Kim (UK) says:

    Like Jo I almost took Hanh’s post seriously, it made great reading I enjoyed that, thanks Hanh.
    Evelyn I hope everything goes well for you with immigration.
    Hello to everyone else I hope you are all well
    Love
    Kim

  62. Kim (UK) says:

    Welcome back Peter

  63. Paul says:

    And dont forget the all time favorite “Rant Unplugged”

  64. Paul says:

    Evelyn, thank you. You brought up something I was quite concerned about and that is censorship. I was wondering if my rant was boardering on trying to censor someone. I do not want to censor any one here and perhaps it becomes a fine line when I ask “say what you feel but say it nicely”
    Who was it that said this site was very hippyish in it’s freedom and lovin expression sessions? I like that but perhaps it is not realistic although we seem to have been able to be real, be honest and rant,rave, winge and chat okay.
    I do understand that in talking about opinions, thoughts and feelings emotions can run high and freedom needs to be let lose to run it’s course. I have on many occassions over the couple of years I have been bloggin here commented no one needs to be offended here, I have also often said no one needs to apologise for what there view is and I stand by those two things.
    Michael and Richard seemed to express a view but often with underlying animosities and agressive style – and seemed to be consistent in this. It shook the board up and made for tension and an unpleasant flavour. I had no problem with the views being expressed but the underlying aggression etc etc I have been through that.
    I would ask you all that if you think I am censoring anyone that you pull me up on it. I want a real family not a yes Paul no Paul site.
    I realise as my site I direct it in certain ways but to be open and honest it must be censorship free.

  65. Paul says:

    Peter, relived to see you back and glad too.

  66. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Paul,
    I looked up the word censor and one of the definitions is “someone who tells people how to behave”. Adults shouldn’t have to be told how to behave, but if they don’t behave then somebody has to tell them and no one will listen to anyone but you. They just get in a big fight.

  67. Laurie says:

    I just love this site, everyone is so spirited and bright! (Not meaning to rhyme there!) Thank you Paul for being the catalyst by bringing such a diverse group together. I look forward to your wit and humour.
    Laurie in Florida

  68. michele says:

    hey paul my name is michele i am a big fan of yours and i have a question have you seen movie lord of the ring and have you watch actor like johnny depp and do you like music like ll cool j and usher and have you heard of american idol.

  69. KELLY says:

    Hey all!
    OH MY, I just lost a pillow fight for the very first time! My son is so big now he doesn’t know his strength, he hit me and HARD, i went flying and down on the floor hard! ouch. He felt so bad he was on the floor and in my face asking if I was ok…. and then I smacked him in the face with the pillow I still had in my hand. Then he knew it was all ok. It keeps you young!!! My daughter tends to bow out early in these such games Clay and I tend to play very hard. I feel like I had a workout. FEELS GOOD! Sometimes I just don’t feel 35, ya know? We can’t play like that when Tom is home so we sait till he leaves and then we haul it all out. He also won the hair pulling contest , but he has less hair. (come to think of it, I used to lose those against my sister when I was kid, maybe I will stop playing that game) Well,. I felt so good, I had to sign on and check up on everyone, and looks like all is well…
    Hahn , you crack me up.
    Paul, don’t worry about censorship, if someone feels censored, I think they will let us all know. After all, we are all hear because of you. we return for everyone, but you are who brought us here, so don’t be afraid to proclaim…
    You are the king!!! cause you are. Andrea’s the Queen, the girls are princesses and Mil is the Grand Dame. I’m the one that gets to taste the food before you in case it is poison! Ya know, that could explain my health lately???? !!!
    Love to all,
    Kelly xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

  70. Inn says:

    I was going to go into my feelings on the recent events here but I suddenly decided that it had been vamped,revamped,and downright trampled so hell with it.
    Peter, you are where you belong. Don’t scare us like that again.
    Jo(in Texas)your post cracked me up! I have been to each type of establishment you list. I have had great food in shacks and poor food in resturants, funny how that is,isn’t it?
    Hahn,you also crack me up. Hello Sally C,Grandma Mil,Evelyn,Dhi,Julie,Mary,Texas and the Great Hairdeenie (you know who you are!)
    This next part is entitled, On Second Thought I’d Just Like to Say…
    Paul, it does smack a bit of censorship but my understanding is you are censoring the verbal violence and not the ideas. I think it’s a tight spot inviting people to express themselves yet getting them to do it in a way that fits the social feel of what is,in truth, your home. It did appear that in the post you began with “why are you lecturing me?” that you were indeed very offended and the anger came through. I’m not calling you out on that point I just wanted to let you know your human nature was showing. You are an excellent explorer on the road to self-actualization and I applaud the honesty you have to your own feelings. We can’t be perfect, we can only try.
    peace

  71. Whitney Eskew says:

    Wow Texas! A ten day fast! I did a three day once and after a while I didn’t feel hunger but my mom wanted me to eat and the dish she offered was one of my favorites; I caved. I hope this is a positive experience for you. I have a friend who’s allergic to bentonite clay, but I’m sure you’d know by now if you suffered the same. Keep us posted. I’ll check out that site.
    Gosh I wish I had time to read all of this blog without feeling guilty. When I finish shooting my portfolio I plan to indulge my “Borg”-like compulsion to visit more frequently. I’ve got a deadline because I received a small grant to do this and they want a report by the end of the month. I could have worse problems, eh?
    Like Laurie, I love this place: such a clever, interesting and good-hearted gang and our beloved ringleader Paul to share it all (oops, there must be a rhyming virus out there).
    Paul, I’m well. Thanks for asking. I can only imagine Andrea’s delight at performing, not to mention the comfort of reuniting with her family. I’m sure leaving her brood was tough, but I’m betting the joy of the experience brings a balance that benefits everyone. I guess the final show was last night. Tell her “kudos” for me.
    If I made a list of all the cool people that I want to say goodnight to, this post would be incredibly long. I’ll resist the urge tonight, but thank you to those who said a “hello” to me. I love it when someone takes the time to do that: Sally C, dearest Mil, Evelyn, et all.
    Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite.
    Love,
    Whit

  72. Hanh says:

    So once again, the sky has cleared, the storm has passed, and we are once more the same cluster of Sargasso grass drifting together in open seas.
    To be sure, although most days are cloudless, the currents will, with certainly, carry each and all into turbulent weather. For some, the waters will be tempestuous and even perilous, but hopefully we will, each and everyone, always find a way back, to drift on this current of our life’s journey together, on the tide, with the wind, arm in arm.

  73. Hanh says:

    Whit, special delivery hugs to you. Good night, sweet.

  74. Marge says:

    Jo(in Texas)
    We have two fabulas BBQ places near us. One is called The Caveman which is just take out. The other is called Rooters. They burnt down two or three years ago and we all went into BBQ shock. They are in business again. Yea!! They both serve, BBQ beef & port, beans, and cole slaw. I think these places fit somewhere in between a dive and a shack. ONe of our church members just purchased a place up north of us called “Big Al’s BBQ. He served it at church this last sunday and it was very good. I want to go up to his place and eat there too.
    Peter
    Glad you are still with us. Were you the one that let us know what fast food places and such are in Australia? If so, who else could we go to to find out more about Australia.
    Take Care
    Marge

  75. melinda says:

    Hello again,
    I was just on for a minute and wanted to say hello to everyone and I hope you all had wonderful days.
    Melinda

  76. Nertha says:

    Hi guys,
    Boy, I stop posting for a time and I return to find Paul’s Rant! LOL Hahn’s post had me laughing so hard it was a nice relief after the tension I found myself experiencing while reading some of the posts. It’s great to be back … although I’m sure none of you remembers me, except for Aunt Mil, who has kept me in her mailing list … Thanks, Queen Mum!
    For quite a while health problems kept me busy with doctors, surgery, and such. I thought about your dad often, Paul, especially when I had to halt my meds for the arthritis pain a week before surgery. There were days when all I could do was lay down in bed and moan in pain.
    I then had some puter problems and had to erase my hard drive … puter has not been the same since and for a while I was off line. Lately I was busy with much more pleasant endeavors — working on a comission of a model of a dance studio in 1:48 scale. Met the deadline by a squeak! LOL I added a link in my photo album to Paul’s site (hope you don’t mind, Paul). I would really love it if you all would drop by for a visit … the URL is http://www.picturetrail.com/microcrafter/
    Make sure you all sign my guestbook, so I know you came by! :-)
    Now that the pressure is off I will be able to drop in regularly and participate in your lively and insightful discussions.
    Hugs to all,
    Nertha in NYC

  77. Nertha says:

    It’s me again …
    I discovered that if you click on my name it will take you to my photo albums. See you there! :-)
    Nertha

  78. Grandma Mil says:

    Laurie, you’re from Florida??? Where, What, Who etc., etc.???? Do you know about the Convention in Paul’s honor in February, 2005, here in southern Florida, with 17 people from PC stating they want to attend? Please advise!
    Julie, being June is the month of romance and weddings, you can’t go wrong in renewing your vows, no matter how long you’ve been married! (I don’t know about July, so you’d better hurry up!)
    Peter, nothing more to add, except to say, much love from Grannie and glad you’re back!
    Whit, so happy you’re working on your grant project. Will be in touch soon.
    Nertha, your miniatures are really awesome! Welcome back, and feel good!
    Kelly, your sunny dispositon is infectious, bless you. I relinquish my Queen crown to Andrea,
    gladly, for I think Grand Dame fits me better these days, since I have lost only 27 lbs. and the scale is stuck…again. You don’t have to volunteer to be my taster…I have Ellie to do that…
    Hahn, if laughter is the best medicine, shall I throw out all my pills now?
    Peace and love,
    The Mil

  79. Grandma Mil says:

    P.S. Sally, while watching Rob Lowe being interviewed about the opening of the new “Salem’s Lot” miniseries this Sunday night, on TNT, he mentioned that this version is much more frightening than the original, and by the looks of some of the scenes, he’s probably right!
    I don’t like vampire stuff, generally speaking.
    I’d rather watch a classic drama or romance or musical, (guess which one), but being Tara Morice is in “Salem’s Lot”, I will watch (and tape it) to see if I can spot her.
    In “Moulin Rouge” she was heavily made up as a prostitute, given 5 seconds of screen time, and she was gone, but I recognized her immediately!
    Tara is appearing on Aussie TV (ABC) in a cop thriller called “Loot” to be aired the end of June also.
    Barry Otto (Scott’s dad, Doug Hastings) also is in the cast.
    Peace and Love,
    Mil

  80. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Grandma Mil,
    Did you see My Big Fat Greek Wedding? If you did, could you identify Gia Carides right away. It took me seeing the movie a couple of times to figure out who that person was. I loved the movie.

  81. Grandma Mil says:

    Yes, Jo, I have seen “Fat Greek Wedding” many times, love it too, and have used scenes from it in my video concerts, “The Sights and Sounds of Music”.
    Gia Carides plays the part of Cousin Nikki, the one with attitude, and big chest. She is fiery, gorgeous, and a brunette…that’s why you didn’t recognize her!
    In real life, she and her husband, the actor, Anthony LaPaglia, just had their first child, and now reside in the states, where he is the star of “Without a Trace” a TV series. They both are Aussies.
    Peace and Love,
    Mil

  82. Evelyn says:

    Hi Peter, I just saw that you are posting (again) glad that you are!!!
    Paul, I just saw your post to the “censoring” bit and will think about it some more, although my spontaneous, not really thought through reaction is, I don’t think you are censoring anyone, it was just a feeling in general that I picked up in the reactions to the tension, and it wasn’t coming from anyone in particular.
    Hello everyone!

  83. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Grandma Mil,
    I have seen Anthony LaPaglia in movies, but I didn’t know he was Australian. Thanks for the update.

  84. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Grandma Mil,
    I think I should just call you Mil or Dame Mil or something else, we are a little to close in age for me to be calling you Grandma!

  85. Kelly says:

    Paul, all this talk abut Tara Morice got me thinking, have you had any contac twith her over the years? Do you think in spite of the controversy with the behind the scenes stuff with the special edition set of Baz’z movies, do you think you would ever work with Baz again? Just being nosey. Sorry. It would be nice to see you and Tara team up again. (don’t you agree, Mil?)
    Love to all,
    Kelly

  86. Grandma Mil says:

    Dear Jo,
    Call me what you wish, but don’t ever (as that old saying goes) call me late for dinner!
    Mil

  87. Abeth says:

    Hello All,
    Morning Sickness has struck with a vengence!!!!! I was out of work Friday and yesterday-came in a half day today! So, this is going to be a Poor Me Post. My doctor gave me something for the nausea and sickness. Did I mention that I can’t stand me?!? Ugh-I swore I wouldn’t complain but here I am-complaining. And, I quit smoking which doesn’t exactly enhance my mood to any elevated positive level.
    Yet, I know, I get baby #3 when all is said and done. Pregnancy can be unfair-I can deal with everything except the morning sickness. Enough said-I will only get myself upset and travel down a road that I’d rather not!! Let’s just say I am not myself-I’m in some sort of gray area!!!!!!!
    I’m not really sure what has happened here in PC because I didn’t finish reading the posts from the previous thread. What I can tell is that not everyone is on the same page and some people are getting bent out of shape.
    I will be honest with my thoughts and then I will say no more. I came here because of the environment and atmosphere and the opportunity to “chat” with people. I don’t like what has gone on lately. What happened to “play nice”?
    Let’s get back on track by not hurting each other’s feelings. I’ve had enough hurt feelings to last a life time.
    Hellos and hugs to all here at PC.
    Abeth

  88. Grandma Mil says:

    Kelly, I have always been interested in Paul and Tara since SB. Before Cat set up Paul’s website, I had written to Tara and she answered graciously. She just happens to be my favorite female actress since SB was released and I have followed her career.
    She wrote me that way back in 1992-1993, when SB was first released, she and Paul were on a personal appearance tour of the U.S. promoting the film. They made the trek to New York and California, and other places.
    She was even closeby in Ft. Lauderdale, FL when the movie opened in the area. Ellie and I were here too, but we had just retired, and were busy setting up our condo, and missed the event completely!
    She was nominated for the award for best actress for her role as “Fran” by the Australian and British Film Institute. Her competition was Emma Thompson, for “Howard’s End”, Jessica Tandy for
    “Fried Green Tomatoes” and Judy Davis for a film whose name has escaped me. Emma Thompson won, but it must have been an honor for Tara to be in the company of those talented actresses.
    I really am convinced that she had a marvelous actor to work with, (Paul) who brought out the best in her.
    Today, she works mostly as a TV actress, and has also done a lot of live theatre in Sydney over the years.
    I, too, have wondered if Paul and Tara have ever been in touch in recent years. She just turned 40, and the competition is tough, as we know.
    Peace and Love,
    Mil

  89. Mary says:

    Hello Abeth, hugs back to you. You have my sympathy with the morning sickness. I had it very bad with my second son and was told by many people that it was a good sign – unpleasant but good. It just disappeared at around twelve weeks and I felt fantastic from then on. Try to look ahead. Easier said than done, I know. But you know it will be worth it! Love to you & baby.
    Hi Nertha! I do remember you. Good to hear from you again. Sorry to hear you have been through the wars healthwise. Hope things are better for you now. I am so impressed with your miniatures. They are exquisite and so beautifully detailed. I hope the business takes off for you.
    Julie, enjoy the attention! Hope the course is still going well.
    Kelly, you always give me a lift. Stay well & happy! Love to you.
    Jo, hope you and your beloved are well.
    Tim, I wish you the very best with your course. Hope things are good for you.
    Millie & Michelle, love to you both.
    Hi back to Inn & Sally. Hi to Whit – it’s always great to see you. Welcome Laurie & michele! Hi Evelyn, Hanh, Melinda, Marge, Kim and everyone else out there.
    I’m heading away tomorrow for a couple of weeks to my favourite place of all. I reckon part of my spirit is down there waiting for me each year and that is why I feel so much at peace. My younger son is coming with me and my older son and his girlfriend will be joining us later. We’ve been going there for ten years now. It’s a real family holiday which I hope they’ll never want to grow out of.
    This year, I’ll send out some loving thoughts to each of you while I’m walking by the ocean. Paul & Peter, they may take a while to reach you!
    Take care & love to you all,
    Mary

  90. Kim (UK) says:

    Grandma Millie
    I think it is a shame when someone is classed as “too old” for work. What ever happened to qualifications and experience but it is the same no matter what job you go for. Not everyone wants some young thing but they are cheaper than the older more experienced person. I think it would be great to see Paul and Tara back working together, you never know maybe one day.
    Abeth good for you for giving up smoking. I wish I could but I don’t have the willpower and to be honest I do enjoy it. I hope the morning sickness goes real soon.
    Hello to Paul,Jo,Mary,Marge,Hanh,Peter,Evelyn,SallyC and to everyone else that I haven’t mentioned.
    Love, Kim

  91. Peter says:

    Hi and thanks to Jo, Sally C., Mary, Kim, Paul, Inn, Marge, Gran Mil, Evelyn and welcome back Nertha!
    It’s a new day and all is good.
    Hello also to Kelly and well done to Abeth for quitting smoking. What a brilliant move!
    I think we need a new post. Paul…?
    Peter

  92. Peter says:

    Mary, I hope that you will enjoy that favourite place. I suppose you’ve already gone.
    Family holidays are special.
    I still plan to take a trip OS someday, to that place on the Dalmatian Riviera where my relatives live, just to have a look and sit for a bit.
    I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I have a good feeling that I will find it there.
    I reckon I’ll go when I’m not actually looking for anything. Then I’ll be ready.
    Cheers to all.

  93. Michelle says:

    Hi Peter! I’m so happy to see you’re back.
    I’ve been laying low for a while, busy with life. A hospital (health care corporation) is buying up our neighborhood, so we’ve had to find an attorney and are currently negotiating a price. I hate the game playing, but we should make out well in the end. I’m sad that we’ll have to move and lose our neighbors, that’s the real bummer.
    We got tickets to see the Cubs play on Friday! It should be a great day. Can’t wait!
    Inn and Linda, I saw Prisoner of Azkaban and absolutely LOVED it! It was visually stunning. Much better than the first two, but I do see what you’re saying about missing info. It didn’t bother me much, I was just so thrilled with the new look and the maturity of the script. We’re going back tomorrow.
    Be well, Abeth!
    Safe traveling and love to you, Mary!
    Diane, I’m still sending lots of love and light! Can you feel it? I miss you.
    To every ONE of you here, much love from Chicago!
    Paul, what’s next?
    Michelle

  94. deltalady says:

    “Resistance is futile.”
    Before the Borg, this line appeared in a hilarious novel called “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”, and those beings saying it were frightening in a whole different way than the Borg; they liked to recite their poetry, an example being more or less, “Ode to a Lump of Putty Found in my Armpit.” Ah, memories.
    Looking forward to anything King, I even liked Kingdom Hospital-go Antubis!-awaiting the final no-doubt-in-contract-screen-them-all-despite-ratings…four episodes. I like the journey no matter the destination with King.
    On a completely irrelevant note:
    when did a hope, May God Bless You
    become an order? God Bless You
    hugs and smiles,
    deltalady aka Sally
    PS How about Rant the Prequel?

  95. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Deltalady,
    You may not remember Red Skelton. He was a comedian that had a television show in the 50′s. He used to say at the end of every show “Goodnight and God Bless.” He said that only a person of religion could say “May God Bless You” and since he was just a comedian he could only say “Goodnight and God Bless”.

  96. Katalina says:

    quick de-lurking to say “hi” to the PC and the amazing Blankeenie….(you know who you are!!)
    Wow, i think i missed quite a lot after reading the extensive posts….sigh.
    In situations like this (unless it’s also “aimed right between the eyes”), i tend to pull a lady Dhi (walk away, or “poof” or wish it away)…basically not qualify it with a response.
    But I think censorship may be necessary for those who do not censor themselves in a multi-cultural and multi-faceted group, hence the need for moderators, or in this case our Paul.
    Glad things are moving along…
    Paul, I liked very much what you said about some who hide behind minority status being somtimes the most bigoted of all…that was an interesting comment and it does make sense. I think we all have felt that side once or twice, yes?
    Glad you stayed, Peter…you ARE wonderfully assimilated! *lol* Hey guess what? Don Allen is adding to the EMP in Seattle his very own private collection of Sci Fi memorabilia…I’m very excited to see this now! *wink n a grinn*
    Hugs to Evelyn (and congrats!!) and Hello to sweet Whit (I’m starting basic pottery on the wheel this summer through Pottery Northwest. Soooo excited.
    Hanh, love love loved your Telegram. Want to see more T.O.S.P.s by Ima Nutt. *grinn*
    Sherrylyn, (((((((hug)))))))) back. I took it cuz i needed it. :-)
    And again, congrats to Andrea – I also loved the article referenced about her return to the ballet. It’s nice to hear more about the Mercurios and the good things happening along the way. (smile)
    Latte luv to all and those sweeties I missed,
    Katalina

  97. Katalina says:

    Grandma Mil,
    I hate to ask yet again..but would it be possible to receive more info about FIF in terms of hotel suggestions? I forget which month/posts contained this. Would it be possible to PM/IM me about this? Thank you so much.
    Hugs to you and Ellie. I cannot wait to see you in all of your feathered finery! tee hee
    Luvs from your,
    Katalina chickie

  98. Grandma Mil says:

    Dear Katalina, Chickie Mine,
    I just sent you an email with all the FIF information that you requested. This so-called “itinerary” should keep everyone hopping the whole weekend!
    Peace and Love,
    Mil

  99. Katalina says:

    Thank you, sweet G. Mil! I’ll check it out and put it in my FIF file! This is just so thrilling! ;)
    Ok..who is class photographer?? mmm? mmm?
    Evelyn (you going, dear?)….
    digi-pix?? anyone? anyone?
    and…I also do wanna see Tim dance! Plsssssss????
    Hugs to the PC gang this fine morning!
    tweeties are singin, sun is shinin, the container garden strawberries smell sweet, cool breeze a flowin…life is grand.
    a resounding Heyyy Baybay to the amazing Blankeenie.
    Glad to see ya lst nt..darn that Yahoo tho!
    Hugs to D (duuuuude), G (zzzz), and R. painting toenails, hair a primped, shortest skirt (j/k..no, im not) and highest heels, and i’m going out to get a rose and a card (don’t want to go empty-handed, cuz i know the other won’t) before the one hour “touch and go” session today at Whidbey. I’ll fill ya in tonight. *grinn*
    Latte luv to all,
    first cuppa down..ready for the second.
    Katalina

  100. Nertha says:

    Hi guys,
    Thanks to all of you for the warm welcome back! And thanks, Grandma Mil, Evelyn, and Paul for popping in to take a look at the albums of my miniature pieces and for your kind and encouraging comments! :-)
    Evelyn, thanks so much for your comment about my kids, I read it to Jonathan this morning (he does the intricate drawings) and he was very pleased. Not a bad way to start his day, especially today, when he has his math Regents exam. Being an artist, math is not his strong suit, so he was not looking forward to today, poor thing.
    Paul, I am honored that you shared my site with your daughter (which one of the three???), I do that often with my boys and it’s usually when I like what I see. :-) You made me laugh with your comment of “absolutely mad” … it’s a common reaction to my working in such a tiny scale. LOL I used to feel that way, too, until I tried it … now it’s the most natural thing. You are correct, it takes a steady hand, patience … and tweezers!!! But the dance studio is large by comparison, so did not need the tweezers so much. When I saw the photo of the real studio it brought to mind the scene in SB just before Scott meets Fran, when you are dancing alone, making use of the entire floor. :-)
    Abeth, congratulations on your expecting a bundle of joy. I really feel for you because I, too, had a tough time with morning sickness with both my boys. Actually that is a misnomer because I had morning sickness 24/7. Hope and pray that your symptoms subside soon so you can concentrate in feeling good and getting ready for your precious baby. :-)
    Here in NYC is a sunny day, so there is reason to smile a little broader. Hope the sun is shining wherever you all are!
    Nertha

  101. deltalady says:

    Hi, Jo!
    I do remember Red Skelton; but I remembered that he said Goodnight and May God Bless at the end of his shows. Guess I’ll have to catch a rerun on PBS sometime and refresh my rapidly aging memory.
    smiles and hugs,
    deltalady aka Sally

  102. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Deltalady,
    You could be right. My memory is probably aging faster than yours. I have trouble remember what I went into a room for so trying to remember 50 years ago does seem a little vain of me.

  103. Jo(In Texas) says:

    Deltalady,
    If you ever find out exactly what he said please let me know.

  104. texas says:

    evelyn, whitney and all who wish me luck in fast. i’m on my 8th day. i am not allergic to the bentonite clay, but i hated it, and stopped using it on 3rd day. i’m sticking to fresh juice (no pulp) and water to do the trick.
    here’s a site that i referred to time and agian in searching for the right fast if any of you are interested. http://www.falconblanco.com/health/fasting.htm
    i also read a book called “juice fasting and detoxification” by steve meyerowitz over a year ago before my first fast.
    good luck to any who undertake their first fast. i recommend 5 days for first one so you can at least get over the hunger hump that happens the first 3 days and realize it does get easier.
    it’s good to hear from you all.