Paul's Corner

I'm afraid I don't have the hang of this thread thing yet. I posted a comment on the wrong one. I haven't had much experience with online communities: no time.

Sorry to hear about your brother. My dad did the same thing 11 years ago, but he didn't take the family dog. If I made that leap I know my dog would want to go with me, but I could never take someone else's pet. I'm glad your mother got another and Angel is a beautiful name.

On a lighter note, I'm glad your new job is going well. New jobs are always scarry, but after a few weeks you feel right at home. I hope you have nice people to work with. That's the only good thing about some forms of employment. Who knows where this will lead you? Maybe it's just a bridge to your brewery. Or maybe you'll meet a new friend.

And since I can't imagine your having the time to read every post on every thread, I'll make my vote for the pub possibly being named Mercurio's Cafe and Microbrewery, with the emphasis on Mercurio's of course: it has such a dignified sound. The locals could shorten it to Merc's. There are millions of "Pauls" and millions of "places" and neither one ot these words describes the establishment (I'm thinking of tourists). Of course, if you don't plan to make a big deal out of the food, (beer drinkers don't always eat much when they're drinking), then you can always drop the word Cafe.

Best to you and yours,
Whitney

I'm afraid I don't have the hang of this thread thing yet. I posted a comment on the wrong one. I haven't had much experience with online communities: no time.

Sorry to hear about your brother. My dad did the same thing 11 years ago, but he didn't take the family dog. If I made that leap I know my dog would want to go with me, but I could never take someone else's pet. I'm glad your mother got another and Angel is a beautiful name.

On a lighter note, I'm glad your new job is going well. New jobs are always scarry, but after a few weeks you feel right at home. I hope you have nice people to work with. That's the only good thing about some forms of employment. Who knows where this will lead you? Maybe it's just a bridge to your brewery. Or maybe you'll meet a new friend.

And since I can't imagine your having the time to read every post on every thread, I'll make my vote for the pub possibly being named Mercurio's Cafe and Microbrewery, with the emphasis on Mercurio's of course: it has such a dignified sound. The locals could shorten it to Merc's. There are millions of "Pauls" and millions of "places" and neither one ot these words describes the establishment (I'm thinking of tourists). Of course, if you don't plan to make a big deal out of the food, (beer drinkers don't always eat much when they're drinking), then you can always drop the word Cafe.

Best to you and yours,
Whitney

Somehow my message has posted twice. I think it was the deceptive dialog box that said my attempt to post had failed. I guess it was mistaken. Ah, the mysteries of the Internet!
Whitney

G'day again Paul.

I'm really glad that you get on so well with your mum. Sounds like you have depended on each other greatly and for a long time. Things must have been pretty tough. You are so very fortunate that you have each other for strength.

One of your previous postings talks about "baring our souls". I have my own story about my mum.
Following is a really basic outline (as basic as I can make it). It's probably a sneak peak, rather than a full blown "baring of the soul". It really is a different sort of story, mostly because it was so bloody unexpected, or would "bizzare" be more appropriate?
I've told it to a few select folk, in varing detail depending on my assessment of their capacity to understand it. Some are absolutely floored by it, whilst others don't really seem to connect with it. I guess that's no surprise, considering the variation in people's focus/priorities/abilities/understanding.
I would be interested to hear anyone's comments.
Please understand though; I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm way past that now. I just think this story makes for valuable reflection upon what is of genuine value and what we consider to be important in life.
I suppose I'm not really baring my soul because no one has a clue who I am. Chicken huh?!!!

Here's the basic story:
I had been adopted at birth.
I met my biological mother for the first time when I was in my early fourties. I had been told when I was eight that she and my father were dead. It turns out that it was untrue. Unfortunately I never got to know my father, since he was apparently killed accidentally about six years ago.
He lived in Europe and never knew of my existence.
I decided to go searching for graves, so that I could find some shred of a concept of belonging, and was shocked to find that my mother was alive and well and living in a well-to-do suburb in Sydney.
I sent her a letter, extending complete power of veto over any contact between us. She contacted me almost immediately and she welcomed me with a reat (apparent) display of love, understanding, care, compassion and support.
I was totally elated by such a prescious gift. I could have never expected this in my grooviest dreams! It was certainly better than finding a grave.
It came as a further shock, since she was so incredibly wealthy, with lots of obvious trappings: expensive house, euro convertible, mega jewellery etc (you get the picture). But, I could not care less about the money and I made that very clear to her and to the other (new)family members. Incidentally, like a great many folk, I grew up dirt poor, not that I ever cared or even realised it! So, it had quite an impact.
It was a bit like the story of the frog prince. Not only did I actually have ancestors and family and a mother and a father, but the situation just seemed wonderful. Everything seemed happy.
I finally had the chance to be a "real" person, with a beginning, rather than an "appearance".
I just wanted to be a good son and for my mother to be proud of me. She would often tell me how wonderfully proud she was of me. It was just great. Yes, I know this sounds really corny so far, but isn't life really often that way, despite how "cool" we pretend we are?

What a goose I am.

The newfound joy in my life lasted six months, until I inadvertently turned up the truth about the circumstance surrounding her surrender of me via adoption. I did not present these things in any way which could have been construed as threatening. Quite the opposite, in fact. I offered only support and compassion in return.
She didn't like the fact that the truth did not support her Hollywood-like version of events.
After closer scrutiny, she seemed to live behind a rediculous (pathetic) facade of glamour and plastic personality.
The crunch came when she tried to bribe a DNA testing laboratory to falsify the report regarding the maternity (DNA) tests. She then set about telling all concerned that I was not her son, but really her half-brother (not at all possible considering her mother's age) and she then again changed the story, saying that I was a distant relative that was plotting to steal her fortune. Is this starting to sound bizzare yet???
(Incidentally, the DNA tests returned a 99.997% probability). Them's pretty good odds!

I was a little dissapointed by her actions. Yes, Yes, I am understating it.

So, whenever we find genuine love, or just plain human decency, we really should take the time to stop, recognise it, contemplate it and be bloody thankful.
It seems that some people will do anything to get their way, even some mothers.

I myself am so damn thankful that I have the love of my wife and two incredible children. And that's no small blessing.

I sincerely hope that I haven't depressed anyone who reads this, or hi-jacked the tone or intent of this little meeting place. If I have, then I offer my sincere apologies. I offer this purely as something upon which to reflect. Take it as a lesson learnt. I hope it will be of value to others as well.

Cheers,
ADF

Thanks for keeping us updated, Paul. Looking forward to your next post, stirring or not.

Alright, Whitney, maybe "Paul's Place" is too mundane a name to do justice to our favorite Paul (who is anything but). Still, I think that "Strictly Beer" could prove too restrictive. "Mercurio's Microbrewery" might be nice. I'd strike the "Cafe" part of it though because depending on the trends, the name suggests it's a stylish place or a stodgy one.

Welcome, ADF, and thanks for the story. You sound like a very healthy and expansive person. Yes, you are lucky to have such a supportive family and, from your tone, they are lucky to have you.

Cheers back at ya' and to all of our compadres at Paul's Corner! (Hmmm... "Paul's Corner").

Diane

That's a good point Diane.

After I stumbled onto this site, I read a few threads and it was immediately clear that this was a community of cool and caring people.

ADF, I'm glad you shared your story too. I wish that had turned out differently for you. Too bad you couldn't meet your dad. Sounds like you got your character from him. Congratulations on the family; what a blessing!

Whitney

Hello. Welcome to our new listers. ADF, it is hard on your life when someone close to you has their own majorly false reality. My sister is bi-polar and jeese you wouldn't believe what living with her was has been like. At least you have found your place. Love life.
"Paul's Corner" well, we all like being here and it's only a cyber cafe!

Diane:

Isn't it amazing when genius sneaks up and smacks you right in the back of the head? Paul's Corner. Definintely not bad.

How about "Planet Mercurio?"

I'm sorry I don't have time to introduce myself but I am having a garage sale this weekend and just wanted to make that suggestion, a play on the fact that "Mercurio" resembles the name of the planet Mercury, of course.

Caroline

PS I enjoyed your story, ADF. A real lesson in appreciating what we have, instead of wishing for what we have not.

Hello everyone...
I was just thinking of my oldest brother last night. My birthday passed last week and last night I realized that the other nine of us made it to 32. He died a month before he turned 32. I try not to talk to my mother of him. It's been qutite a few years now, but I know the pain is still there. I know that she would like to find one of his boys. It's a long story. He had a pretty crazy life. The abridged version is: My brohter and his ex-wife showed up at our house with this baby boy (supposedly she had remarried and this was the other man's baby). He was so excited for my mother to see this boy.....My mother feels he was tyring to tell her it was his.
So, my brother passed away a couple of months later; the baby boy gets sick and the ex-wife abandons him at a hospital. My mother wanted to adopt him, but the ex-wife steps forward and says it wasn't my brother's baby. So, the foster family adopts him. Anyways to make a long story short....My question to ADF: How do you start to look for someone who has been adopted?
I mean this baby boy is about 20 years old now......If you could give some insight on where to start?
We are supposed to go to my husbands Christmas party tonight, but it is pretty stormy out so we may just stay at home...... don't know yet......
Anyways, I still like the one name thing. "Let's go to Paul's tonight or how about Mercurio's..."
Yeah, "Mercurio's" sounds more "upscale" and "Paul's" sounds more informal or comfortable.
I guess if the brewery doesn't work out you could always open up "Paul's Computers- Sales and Repair" ..... :) HA HA HA Not funny? okay I'll shut up now..... :)
I hope everyone is well.

Hi, everyone.
This is a busy season alright, did a marathon shopping today...have sacks waiting for me to put away...
Just want to say we had a cat named Angel, and she was a wonderful companion for many years, hope your mom's Angel is as well!
Hugs

Okay I'm ready to pull my head out of the sand after the mortification of wrongly giving condolances. I'm gald to hear Paul mom is alive and breathing. Angle sounds like a lovely name for the pup. I read the posts on judgement and I have to say to Tim Holt that I like what you said in your post about having a natural understanding of common law and decency. I try to ingrain this in my children. Here is my stituation. I welcome any of you posters thoughts. My daughter is hearing impaired and so is my husband. My daughter goes to a county progam for the deaf but now they are mainsteaming her in some hearing classes. As we all know some children can be cruel and she now says she wants to go to a totally deaf school in Femont. To do this she would have to board there for 5 days out of the week. My daughter is nine. Some friends say how could I let her go? For my own selfish reasons I wan't to keep her close to me. She's my babygirl. But how could I not let her go? And I have wondered how would people judge me in letting her go. Wouldn't it be selfish of me in not letting her go? I'm torn. Any thoughts?

Suz

Well Susan here goes. I think you should have your daughter stick it out awhile in the "hearing" classes. It is easy to run for shelter but I am a strong believer in hardship being good for the soul. My daughter is also 9 and I know I would not want her away from home 5 days a week at that age, simply because I think young children need their parents to be close. Eventually she will have to deal with the hearing world and I think sooner is better. The hearing kids will get used to her and the friendships will start. Unfortunately kids are like wolf packs the newest one always gets it.
There you have my two cents (1.5 Canadian).

Happy Birthday to your sister, Paul & I think Angel is a great name for this particular dog, esp. within the larger context of things. Did your or will you tell your Mum how you got this name?

ADF thanks for sharing your story, it pulled me out of wallowing in homesickness. Yes I'm still homesick and would love to spend some time with my Mum and sisters right now, but since it won't happen, I should stop feeling sorry for myself and enjoy the fact that e.g. my ex-fiances Dad invited me for Christmas Eve and his Mum for Christmas Day--definitely part of my extended family. Even a couple years after he dumped me, I still have great relationships with his family and they still treat me as a "daughter"--I know this can be really weird, perhaps sounds weird too, but then why should all the good relationships break, just because he and I didn't make it?

Okay back to studying/reviewing for my last ever final exam in a course, I'll be very happy when that part is over with. :-)

Love to all!
Evelyn

Hi. I cannot believe that you actually have the time to read a blog like this; it goes to show you that not every actor in the world is out of touch, and for that you are to be commended.

I have admired you since Strictly Ballroom, and always wondered why you did not come to the U.S. to pursue a "larger" career; God knows, you are talented enough, especially when compared to some of the other "talents" we have here (even some of the ones from Australia who shall remain nameless).

For what it's worth, and being an Exec Chef myself, I thought I would throw in my 2 cents worth on the pub name - since you already have such a wonderful last name (I'm jealous, having been saddled with an awful moniker myself), why not play on it and call it "Mercurial" - or some derivation?

Just an idea -

Peter

Send a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your sis Paul.

It's also my son's Birthday!! Dec 14 he turned 13! I can't believe I have a teenager for a son now! *self mantra* I'm as young as I feel, I'm as young as I feel..... *L*

Happy Holidays!

Hello everyone,
Well Evelyn I'm happy to reprt I am officially done with school. I finished my last paper of my college career Thursday. What a nice feeling it is when your done I have to say. Only took me 13 years. Good luck to you as well.
Susan, Its been my experience that no matter what difficulties a child has or doesn't have, other children can be cruel. I was made fun of terribly in grade school for a period of time for no reason at all. I still remember it and actually am a little grateful for it in hindsite. My experience made me much more compasionate towards others. From that experience I was able to see other cruel kids for what they were and not take part in it like many kids do. They don't know any better because they've never been there. It's a difficult decision. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
My christmas shopping is finished. I started out so good, being frugal, getting things on sale and then you get to a point where your like f*ck it, I'm gonna get what I want for people and that is when the credit card come out. Thank god it's over. Now I'm getting the itch to give. I made my little brother open two of his gifts last nite cause I couldn't take it anymore. I'm not very good with secrets.
Merry Christmas.
Sallie

Glad your mum's doing well, Paul.

Although I don't post regularly, it's nice to come and visit every so often... a friendly little group you've got here, yourself included.

All the best for Christmas and the new year...

Susan: I agree with Sallie; disabilities don't really matter to children who want to be cruel. They will be cruel for no reason. I was often the victim of cruelty as a child, and I was perfectly normal, not unnattractive, friendly, and no weight problem or disability. And it goes the other way too--please keep in mind that an all deaf school doesn't necessarily mean the children will be angelic to each other!

good point jody - best of luck susan in your decision making

adf - quite an odyssey! - your post shows you're moving ahead and letting go of the baggage - that's the spirit!! you've got family now that loves you and appreciates you

yepper - doing the christmas thing...thank god for the 'net - cannot bring myself to hit the stores..

diane - where are you with the tree business? The associated press picked up on it and it appeared in the local paper (i think) santa c????..cannot remember now

peaches...i'm still laughing from your last post...

movies and mercurio - can we not create a buzz?

later.....

Dear Sallie,

congratulations to you on being done with your college career/studies!!! I hope you're celebrating and dragging it out as long as you can. Invent reasons & occasions if you have to. I have one more semester to go and just a little bit work left on the dissertation. Thank God for term break, finally some extended writing time, which should allow me to be mostly done. Then I only have one more final exam left, that stupid public defense part of the thesis. I have to come up with something clever to amuse my audience, but mostly myself--OF COURSE!!!. I hate boring talks/presentations which is what I'm supposed to do ... :-( but hopefully will come up with a way to bend the rules just a bit. And then I'll be the happiest and most willing person to get the hell out of there, been doing this since 1988, -- I'd rather not think about how many years that is exactly, but more than 13 ...

Hello everyone.

Paul, Happy Birthday to your sister and may she have many more.

A Thank you to innussiq for your input.Its good to hear from a mother that has a daughter of the same age.

Congrats to Sally on finshing up on your last paper. What a relief that must be. Your experience on growing up with cruelty from other children is a shared one by myself and what seems to be many others. The funny thing is, when it was happening to myself, I felt like the only one. Yes, I agree it has made me more compasionate as well.

Jody,good point about not all the deaf children will be angelic. I've already met a few of those. I'm just hoping for some common ground for my daughter to stand on.

Damaris, best wishes on your search. I'll keep my ear out for you.

ADF, After reading your story I realize how fortunate I was to share the time I had with my parents, the've both pass now. Do you still have your adoptive parents? I hope they are there for you while you are going though all of this. I'm happy to hear your wife and children are.

Evelyn, Hope your Xmas is a happy one. Sounds like you have some good people around you.

bluedog, and others thank you for the wishes of good luck. It's working. I could kiss all of your feet. Someone up there is looking over my family. I received a phone call this morning inviting me to a Social at the house of the State Sup of Public Instruction, who has been regarded as a friend of deaf children of the CSD community. WOW ! This was totally unexpected. Doors are opening to help me better educate myself to help my daughter. Tonight I attend a class on the Literacy Issues of Students who are hearing impaired or deaf. This is the best xmas gift I could ask for. And to think a couple of days ago I was pacing the floor feeling totally lost. Thanks for the prayers.

Suz

Thanks everyone. I am dragging out the celebration Evelyn, in Las Vegas. WooHoo. Going there with about 12 family members and friends.

Sounds like things are happening for you Susan. Good Luck.

Happy Birthday to your son Michelle.

Bienvenido to the new people and Feliz Navidad to all.

Sallie

Let me add my congrats Sallie! It's only getting more expensive, so the sooner students finish, the better.

So it took a little longer for us than it does for some (I started in '82 and didn't finish my MA until '98). I dropped out a lot and changed majors about 5 times. They politely call us non-traditional students, but that's ok with me. I'm never going back to school again, at least not as a student.

Funny thing is, now I'm a teacher at a community college in Kentucky. I had a solo show of my sculpture at the school and they needed a teacher, so they asked me to take the job. It almost pays the bills.

Today I had to turn in grades. Having been the crown princess of slackers, I didn't have the heart to give out some well earned Fs (knowing what that does to a GPA as well as a soul). Besides, I've only been doing this less than two years. There's plenty of time to toughen up, though I don't plan to make a career of teaching. Next semester it's deadlines, deadlines, deadlines! They can't seem to function without them.

Good luck with your future endeavors and may all your dreams come true!
Whitney

okay, another name suggestion, inspired by an earlier post in this thread:

"Mercurio Rising" kind of like Mercury rising, an astrological aspect. Okay, i'm a big pot-smokin' hippie dork, i know.

gotta run, too tired.

Sallie, congrats on getting to the end, getting through it and now to getting on with it!!!!!!

Susan, it never ceases to amaze me how when you ask for help the doors open and help comes flooding in! Better yet it often happens in such unexpected ways that it becomes inspirational. I am glad for you and your daughter - she is as lucky as you!

After sitting back and reading the names I think my favourite thus far would be -
"MERCURIO'S" - 'beer-cafe brewery'

Hit a big dive yesterday. Heard I didnt get either of the films for next year -(^$@_IK_*)@!H)(*^!^%)&*^! )(E++++E_@)(*@&???!!!!)*

Went down deep but glad to say surfaced at the end of the day and for some stupid reason felt happy today???? Go figure?! Hey thank the powers that be that I have a job to bring in a little something - not enough but it will keep as floating till then - others are not so fortunate.

I have been a little busy working in the store and havent been jumping on and responding as I would like but I am happy to see you guys getting on and sharing - you are all very special!

I know this sounds corny, but I really believe things happen for a reason. These projects just weren't meant for you. It's possible they would have interferred with something much better, right around the corner. To quote a line from my favorite sci-fi/comedy, Galaxy Quest; "Never give up! Never surrender!".

And you're not only lucky to have this job, you can look at it as research for a role you might play in the future. And just think how grateful you'll be when you can quit!

I always enjoy seeing your posts, but I hope soon you'll be so busy with the sort of work you're looking for, that you seldom have time to check in (though your virtual friends would be very disappointed not to hear from you). I keep waking up at 4am lately, so I check my email (nothing but spam at this hour). Visiting your corner is like meeting new friends and getting more messages.

"MERCURIO'S" - 'beer-cafe brewery' sounds good to me. Have you started to plan how to decorate? Many of the bars I've visited in New York, go for the "old fashioned, shelves piled with antiques" look. In my home town everything's a sports bar.

Whitney

ugh, paul, sorry to hear about the roles. glad to hear they aren't keeping you down.

i'm more keen on mercurio's, too. have to agree now that paul's place is too easy. i do like paul's corner, but perhaps that can be an area in the bar where those who've found this site can meet should we ever get there.

looking forward to the fodder you mentioned on the board.

mom's doing well folks. you're thoughts must be working.

cheers all. happy hoildaze.

Paul, sorry to hear about not getting the films. Try, try again.

Texas soooo good to hear about mom doing well.

Whitney, I think your a great teacher.

I've been thinking about teaching but I love working at home so much.

Oh well I have to start my day.

Sallie

Sweet Sallie, thank you. You sound like you'd make a fine teacher. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were one of my students. I had to chuckle every time I got an email telling me what a great teacher I was, right before grading time ( as if I couldn't guess what they were up too). ;-]

I'm thinking back to my student experience and, being a pack rat, I have syllabi and course handouts that I can adapt for my personal use. Other than that I learn from the book and develop my own personal style. Earlier, I mentioned changing majors a few times; that worked to my advantage recently because one major was art education. Now I teach that course and I'll have two sections of it this Spring semester.

They also want to me to teach online (very appealing to me, I think). This next semester will be "Web Assisted" to get my feet wet. We'll still meet in class, but more info will be available online. Maybe you should consider this direction? Unfortunatly, at this time, you still have to teach one class on campus. But that can be as litte as two hours a weeks (only two days out of a week for one class)

Everything I do to my online "practice shell" is disappearing. :-[ The same is happening to my "next step up, practice shell". :-[ Looks like I'll be reading the rest of the manual this Xmas. Why, why, why!!!!

I may never know what happened. Sometime's it's easier to start over, than try to figure out exactly went wrong. I'm a Macintosh user, so I'm used to it.

Midnight showing of "The Two Towers" tonight. Wish everyone that would enjoy the movie, could be there. My pal Gene and I are going. We went ot see Solaris and I confess, we went just to see Clooney's butt (I suspect they used a body double in one shot). I love Sci-Fi, but there just wasn't enough action (no not that kind). Way too much dialogue in my opinion!

Whitney

Dear all, Thanks for your thoughts and comments.

Innussiq, Great insight on your part. I'm sorry to read about your sister. It must be terribly hard.
I don't have any contact with my mother now. That makes it much easier, for everyone.

Damaris, Are you in Australia? The first step is usually to contact the gov't department responsible for adoption. In Oz it's the Post Adoption Resource Centre. Also try Adoption Triangle.
A word of advice: before making contact, collect as much info. as possible on the current situation. You may well be opening a Pandora's box, but then few good things come without a little pain. Tell me if you want further info.

Suz,
Unfortunately my adoptive father died 22 yrs ago after a long illness. Mum is quite elderly.
I basically tackled and resolved the situation on my own. It required swift and decisive action to limit the damage. It seems that I was the best equipped to do so. Sorry if that seems a little clinical or egotistical, but it is the truth. My unusual circumstances have provided me with certain abilities to cope with situations like that one. You know what they say; what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!
Obviously I have left out most of the story. It would take ages to do it justice, but here's one bit of incredible coincidence I'll share:
I have lived in the country all of my life. My mother lived in Sydney. In a city of 3 million people, it turned out that my wife's grandmother lived about 30 metres from my mother (who I thought died at birth, I was 8 yrs old when I was told that they were both dead - a lie). We would visit my wife's grandmother often. One day, my half-brother saw me in the street. We look very similar. He said "the blood in his veins turned to ice" when he saw me. He went home to tell his mother. She just laughed it off. Later, I remember standing in the street next to my car. An attractive blonde lady walked passed me, glancing coldy at me, as if she was trying to size me up or something. She half-ways nodded at me but did not speak. She turned soon after and walked past me again. I felt as though I shouldn't be looking at her, as if it were not appropriate somehow.
I now know that it was my mother.
What are those odds?

And finally Paul, Really sorry about the missed auditions. There must be something much better waiting for you. In the meantime, I hope the computer sales keep rolling in.
Regarding "I'm not a young sunk anymore";
Mate! Try telling that to my wife. She would disagree absolutely! But seriously, it's a pain when you put a little weight on. It can really get you down. Prior to some unexpected back injuries, I was a competitive distance runner and cyclist. I ran, cycled, did aerobics & weights.
I was very fit, lean, strong and looked good.
Now, I'm 22kgs heavier! I hate it. Part of it is due to comfort eating. I tell myself that I don't, but I really do. I'm hopeless sometimes.
I'm getting back into regular training now, I swear. Just bought a new mountain bike. That should help shed some blubber.
It's so very sad (but undeniably true)that our society and especially the entertainment industry places so much emphasis on how we look. We are just the same whether we're "young spunks", or a little more seasoned.
You're still very young Paul. If you really need to be a "young spunk", then you will have no trouble losing a few kilos. We all get typcast. That's the other person's failing. All we can do is to take advantage of it and turn it around to work for us, instead of against us. Don't lose sight of how hard you worked to get there in the first place.
Good fortune will shine on you. Just make it happen.

Cheers to all.

Well, Paul, sorry to hear the roles didn't work out. It sounds to me as if you are handling things pretty well. I think things happen for a reason, too. Maybe something better is on its way...
Whitney, since it's about actors looking for work I think it's funny that you quote from "Galaxy Quest". I like the movie. I bought it this last year. :)
Well, Paul, I guess these are the times that they say build character. Or some good characters to tell about when you're on the Jay Leno or David Letterman show, right.....?? :)
Wishing you good luck and hoping everyone is well.

OOOOOPS!!

Sorry folks, message #31 was from me. Forgot to sign. I blame "on-line" gremlins.
ADF

ADF: I just read your post. I live in California.
I can gather info from my mother she knows all the vitals... I am hesitant because I don't know if the boy wants to be found.... I know my mother wants the closure. We had been in contact with one of his other sons and my mother seemed a little diappointed. We weren't in the position to help him financially with something that he wanted. After that we never heard from him again and mail came back that he had moved and left no return address. So, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone involved; my mother or the young man... I mean my mother lost a younger brother and when she found him he was back living in the place they grew up and living under a totally different name and by the sound of it a totally different ethinicity. When he contacted her he gave no explanation and she is still confused. Ironically the only thing he wrote in his letter was about my brother that had passed away (the father of this young man that was adopted).
Anyways, to make a long story short (yeah too late, huh? :] ) How do you know if it's the right thing to do; to try and contact someone?
Anyways, care to give me any sugestions..?

Damaris,
How do you know if contacting the young man is the right thing to do? Very tricky indeed. Here are my suggestions (from experience).

Ask these following questions. They will assist you in determining what is ultimately the most important thing. Also, try to think how you would answer the same questions next week, in a years time, in ten years time. It will help to gain perspective.

Ask yourself:
1. What exactly is the closure I am seeking?
2. Will making contact neccessarily bring closure?
3. What is the best outcome overall?
4. What are all of the things I'm hoping to find?
5. Are my hopes and epectations realistic, given the circumstances?
6. What if I don't find what I'm hoping for?
7. Am I exposing myself and my mother to possible further hurt?
8. Am I exposing the young man to the same?
9. How will I cope if things don't meet my expectations, and finally:
10. What is best for the young man? Consider that life is likely to be somewhat difficult for him (but not neccessarily - you have to work it out).
I know this sounds a bit much, but things seldom turn out the way we want.
Don't take this as being negative. It may well turn out great.
My one bit of advice; find out as much as you can and then take it slow. Just be careful. Don't rush. Only progress when you are completely confident that you have the right answers.
Best wishes for success with this.
ADF

Whitney,
I'm a Sci-Fi junkie too, I especially love the old Twilight Zones. I have a felt, glow in the dark poster in my apartment. My dad and I used to watch the reruns all the time. I am eagerly awaiting Two Towers as well. Picked up my tickets today for the 11 pm showing tomorrow. My brother is studying for finals tonight. Heard its super great. Although I was a little disappointed that Boromir died in the first one, it's supposed to be way better. Don't know if that's possible but I hope so. Let me know.
Sallie

Yeah, my obsession began with "The Twilight Zone", "Outer Limits" and "Night Gallery". The only soap I ever enjoyed was "Dark Shadows".

I hear this part of the trilogy is mostly action. I must admit I wasn't blown away by the first one (I read the books in grade school). I was disappointed that they didn't start this whole thing with "The Hobbit". It provided so much background info, especially on the prankster/playful nature of Gandalf. I'll let you know if it's worth seeing on the big screen.

Paul, sorry about the roles. But I've often felt happy after feeling down about not getting roles too. It's almost like, "well at least now I know and I'm not still wondering!". Some directors I never heard back from at all!

Anyway, it sounds like you are having a good time at your new job. Can you give some details on how you are liking it? Do you need a lot of special training or are you flying with it already?

Paul, I, too, am very sorry about you not getting the roles. I know what it feels like right now as well, but I've been getting rejections or no responses so far in my job search and its frustrating, although I've not taken that dive yet, that you experienced--hoping to skip that one if I can. I'm kind of curious about what doors will open next for me that I have not explored yet, actually one door would be enough :).

Whitney, the first time I ever gave a student of mine an F, it hurt me more than her/him (I think :-)) but now I'm kind of at the point that if they deserve it they will get it--sounds cynical, I know, but it is their own doing, not mine. Although I think in 10 years of teaching I've only given about 4 or 5 Fs. As a teacher of mine said "you will get out of this class what you will put into it." What kind of web assisted teaching are you going to do? I've done quite a bit with web- and computer assisted instruction for foreign language instruction on the Mac side though more in term so supplementing/supporting class room instruction rather than replacing it.

And Sallie (I believe it was you) as a teacher, depending on where you teach, you can still do a lot of work at home, if you prefer working at home (as I do) so don't let that stop you. I find it a very rewarding profession, for the most part. :-)

Today I laughed at myself for feeling edgy about my last final exam. I'm a teacher for crying out loud, I know how this game is played, but it affected me nonetheless, silly me! But it is behind me and I made a deal with myself that I will NEVER subject my students to that kind of exam EVER!!!

Texas, I'm really glad to hear that your Mom is doing so well. On the topic of Moms, My Mom is fantastic!!! I talked to her on the phone this morning for over an hour and the way she supports me through all my uncertainties & homesickness, pretty darn amazing! Definitely love my Mom and of course told her that too.

Its time to catch up on lost sleep and recuperate my brain. Take care everyone!

Hello everyone.
Congratulations to the graduate. That is an exhilirating experience. I know when I graduated with my BBA I was almost numb, then again it was probably my blood alcohol level.
Paul...really sorry to hear about the movies. But unfortunately that is life. Some of us have that thrown at us a lot. I tried my "hand" at writing. I gave the piece to a retired exec from Disney, (long story on how I know him), anyway, I asked him to read it. God it looks like it was shot to death with the red ink. He told me for a "freshman" writer I did well and not to give up. He said I put a lot of effort into it(true) but it just didn't make him want to "know" any of the characters. I just laughed. I thought maybe I'd get lucky (ha ha) and he'd come back and say oh my god this is the best ...I've got to get it out to my friends xyz in LA..Wishful thinking..I probably had a better shot at the lottery. And my creative edge with hair..HA! People love and drool over my work but I don't make enough money to pay for a pot to piss in. So, it's BACK TO SCHOOL. I do really well. I'm going to get my MBA/Law degree. Then I'll be a CPA/Lawyer with an MBA...should be able to get a relatively good 6 figure job with that huh?
But Paul...I just gotta say..don't YOU give up. You have the edge of having been at the right place at the right time...and having been there once increases your chances of being there again. I know it'll happen for you.
As for the hearing impaired child. I have a friend I worked with in LA. She was from a good catholic family of 8 kids. One of her sisters was deaf. Their father was an NFL player when they were young and then went into coaching when he retired. So money was not an issue for them as they grew up. Funny how I always had friends that grew up with it...Hmmm. anyway her sister stayed in public schools etc. . .until she was a teenager. Then they sent her to a boarding school. She's in her early 30's now, and she's very very close to her family. I think when she was a teen it just helped her cope better with adolescence and her impairment being with people that understood it all. I don't think anyone thought any less of their family for sending her away either. It was considered in her best interest. And even though they had the money the kids all went to public schools and worked part-time jobs...Good move on dad's part. Money doesn't just grow on trees.

Names?
Pauls Pub
A daring, caring, helluva aleing place.
OK it's late..gotta go to bed
Tim

Hello everyone.
Congratulations to the graduate. That is an exhilirating experience. I know when I graduated with my BBA I was almost numb, then again it was probably my blood alcohol level.
Paul...really sorry to hear about the movies. But unfortunately that is life. Some of us have that thrown at us a lot. I tried my "hand" at writing. I gave the piece to a retired exec from Disney, (long story on how I know him), anyway, I asked him to read it. God it looks like it was shot to death with the red ink. He told me for a "freshman" writer I did well and not to give up. He said I put a lot of effort into it(true) but it just didn't make him want to "know" any of the characters. I just laughed. I thought maybe I'd get lucky (ha ha) and he'd come back and say oh my god this is the best ...I've got to get it out to my friends xyz in LA..Wishful thinking..I probably had a better shot at the lottery. And my creative edge with hair..HA! People love and drool over my work but I don't make enough money to pay for a pot to piss in. So, it's BACK TO SCHOOL. I do really well. I'm going to get my MBA/Law degree. Then I'll be a CPA/Lawyer with an MBA...should be able to get a relatively good 6 figure job with that huh?
But Paul...I just gotta say..don't YOU give up. You have the edge of having been at the right place at the right time...and having been there once increases your chances of being there again. I know it'll happen for you.
As for the hearing impaired child. I have a friend I worked with in LA. She was from a good catholic family of 8 kids. One of her sisters was deaf. Their father was an NFL player when they were young and then went into coaching when he retired. So money was not an issue for them as they grew up. Funny how I always had friends that grew up with it...Hmmm. anyway her sister stayed in public schools etc. . .until she was a teenager. Then they sent her to a boarding school. She's in her early 30's now, and she's very very close to her family. I think when she was a teen it just helped her cope better with adolescence and her impairment being with people that understood it all. I don't think anyone thought any less of their family for sending her away either. It was considered in her best interest. And even though they had the money the kids all went to public schools and worked part-time jobs...Good move on dad's part. Money doesn't just grow on trees.

Names?
Pauls Pub
A daring, caring, helluva aleing place.
OK it's late..gotta go to bed
Tim

Sorry about the double post...my enter key got stuck.

Tim

Hey Tim, I have looked into body for life and decided I know all that shit I just lack the basic discipline to actually do it - hang on I got to go get another beer......................................................................................................................................................................... right, so, uhm, where was I ?..........Oh discipline.... yeah, lack it in bundles!!! So I look forward to some inspiration from you my friend!!! No pressure, just show me how it's done and I will take courage in your strength! Some one has to start it right? Some times I get tired of leading, I want some one to step up and say " Ive done it, Ive shown you the way, now come on brother, stand up, step up and do it for you!"

What I am saying is I'll be with you all the way!

Adf, you say we have met? So how about a name so I can place the face? I have found your posts inciteful.

Evelyn, good luck with your finals!!!!!!!! I know you will rip it in!

Oh fuck lets be honest!!!!! I want some one to do it for me!!

LOL Isnt that the way?

Internal conviction/strength it's not that hard. Its as easy as saying yes or no.

I stand Tall. I STEP UP.

I have the strength I'm just looking for the will.

LOL

(Oh, that my name were "Will"...*sigh*) ;-) Kidding, sexy.

Ya know, ALL I have to say to my husband is "I think I'll go downstairs and work-out" and holy crap, you should see that man clear the way for me. "Kids!" he'll holler, "Don't bother your mother!" and "Can I get you some water? How's that reading light down there, ok for ya?". He'll do ANYTHING so that I can excercise, 'cause he reaps the benefits...I feel I've accomplished something, I have more energy (to expend on other marital "fun") but mostly, I FEEL that I look better, so that shows (and the jumping of the bones commences!) ;-)

BUT, have I worked out in like, 8 days? No. Why? Oh, every excuse imaginable..."I have to finish wrapping these gifts." "I'm just going to start this batch of cookies..." "I was just going to call Mom and see how the painting is coming along..." and then you can find my butt on the couch: Reading. I MISS reading! I miss whole afternoons, hell, whole DAYS whiling away on my couch, or in my bed in my twenties, reading away. With two little kids and two jobs, um, reading the toilet paper wrapper and the directions for the Children's Tylenol is about all I get time for, and my husband's like, "Well, can't ya do that on the treadmill?" Well, yeah, but that's work. And I've already worked out for like, 15yrs, so it's a tad stale. Ugh.

Oh well. I'm just going to have to quit this job and get our little farm up and running. That'll provide enough excerise I am SURE!

Good luck, Paul. Keep your hands open...for it is only then that you may receive.

Love and sex...(hey, why not?)
Dhiana the Piglet

I don't even know where to start! To ADF and Damaris, I can only guess at the pain your parental situations have caused and I hope only that you can glean some happiness from it all. If the only thing that happens is it makes you better parent material yourselves well then, that's huge isn't it?
Whitney, judging others is so difficult. I know you must feel bad and wonder if the child's grade came from lack of trying or from trying hard and still failing. Do your best to encourage. I know you will make a difference.
Tim, life is such a struggle sometimes. Be proud of yourself because you keep getting in there. That's just about all any of us can do. Keep mixing that alphabet soup, those letter will pay off someday!
Paul, I add my encouragement to all the oters who have said, "so you missed these parts", but it's still not over. As you so love to say, get going!
Finally, I offer all these encouraging messages because I'm feeling pretty crappy. I'm trying to keep on with the exercising, but this cold weather is just getting to me. It seems almost everyday I move a little less. I should get smart and move someplace warm, but I don't want to be far from my Mom. So thank you all for allowing me to heal myself by trying to offer some help to you. I am glad we are all together.
Peace, self-love and selfless love to you all.

I don't even know where to start! To ADF and Damaris, I can only guess at the pain your parental situations have caused and I hope only that you can glean some happiness from it all. If the only thing that happens is it makes you better parent material yourselves well then, that's huge isn't it?
Whitney, judging others is so difficult. I know you must feel bad and wonder if the child's grade came from lack of trying or from trying hard and still failing. Do your best to encourage. I know you will make a difference.
Tim, life is such a struggle sometimes. Be proud of yourself because you keep getting in there. That's just about all any of us can do. Keep mixing that alphabet soup, those letters will pay off someday!
Paul, I add my encouragement to all the others who have sent their support. As you so love to say, get going!
Finally, I offer all these encouraging messages not only because I care but also because I'm feeling pretty crappy. I'm trying to keep on with the exercising, but this cold weather is just getting to me. It seems almost everyday I move a little less. I should get smart and move someplace warm, but I don't want to be far from my Mom. So thank you all for allowing me to heal myself by trying to offer some help to you. I am glad we are all together.
Peace, self-love and selfless love to you all.

aww jeese! PLEASE! Read the second one..I think I said it better the second time. That little posting mistake sure does expose my inner self and how I second guess how I say what I say. Makes me wonder. Perhaps, I have taken too many writing courses.

So Tim it sounds like you're going to take the challenge? I mentioned before that I've done it twice. I did improve my strength and body composition as well as loose weight. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to eat exactly the way they wanted, though I did give up beer for the first go round. Still, I didn't make my goal, but I saw improvements.

You know you can vary the routine if you choose. The only requirement is that you use one of their products (marketing ploy) and of course take the "before and after" pictures. I apologize if you already know all this.

The first time I did BFL, I would get up and do the pre-eating aerobics, but I decided the second time, that I preferred eating first and then doing the exercise. This practice was one of the guiding principles of the Hiltonhead Metabolism diet and even when I'm not following any program, I try to do it.

Wait till your body starts feeling hot after your meal (no more than 30 min) and then do at least 20 min. of aerobics. I've read that the greater the intensity; the shorter the duration but, 20 minutes is the minimum and any kind of aerobics will do. Theoretically, your body is storing the food and, in so doing, reaching a higher metabolic rate. You boost it even higher with the 20 minutes of aerobics done at that particular time. Eventually, you've reset your metabolic level and, from my own experience, when it's all over, you can eat more than before you did the diet. No, really!

It helps to read the ($15 paperback) Hiltonhead Mertabolism book, but I'm afraid it's out of print. I tried to get a copy at Borders recently and that seemed to be the case. Look at your library. Here's how it works in a nutshell, in case you aren't familiar.

You never skip breakfast. Never!!!! They want you to eat corn or wheat flakes, but you can have oatmeal or any other sensible food, half a piece of fruit, a piece of toast and a cup of coffee. This doesn't change much through the whole thing. Just don't skip the first meal! They believe that if you do, your body will wonder when the next meals coming and go into storage mode.

The program goes in phases. The first is meant to boost your metabolism back up to a higher level (metabolism slows down as muscle atrophes and fat composition increases). Phase One doesn't let you have butter, mayo, salt, sugar,and (gasp) beer or other alcoholic beverages (is their anything besides beer?). It gets easier in subsequent phases but, you eat lots of vegetables and some fruit: probably more food than you're currently eating.

Twice a day you do the "20 minutes after your meal" aerobic workout I mentioned (anything that get's you up to your target heart rate or generally makes you sweat). I know this is tough to schedule, but you have to make time for it. I used breakfast and dinner when I had a 9 to 5 job. I rode a statinary bike. Man, that hurts your butt. I recomend an elliptical trainer or a recumbant bike. One winter, I simply walked, but try not to do this too much on concret. It'll make your hips hurt.

And here's the interesting thing: you have to eat a snack before you go to bed. It has to be something like a bowl of cereal, fruit, a salad, an unbuttered bowl of popcorn or a piece of toast. You get the idea. The principle is that your body works to store the food during the night and burns calories doing so. It happens!

They wrote a version of this book for people over 35, but I was only 25 the first time I did this and used the same one again the second time. It's up to you.

In the BFL challenge, you have to eat so many times to satisfy their protein intake requirements! I used Slim Fast mixed with their "Simply Protein" Powder. It was the cheapest way to go (and the easiest). I recommend vanilla.

I too am very lazy and undisciplined. I haven't done a darn thing in about 4 months and man, I feel tired and weak (I take that back. I've done the eliptical trainer twice this week). I was waiting to turn the big 40 and enter that catagory before doing it one last time.

You men are so lucky! You have more muscle and a lower fat content than we gals: thus a naturally higher metabolism. I don't feel too sorry for you, though I commiserate.

So Tim, are you taking the challenge? I'm thinking about waiting till after the holidays. Beer drinking is a must on New Year's Eve. It would be nice to have a virtual workout buddy. Let me know if you're up for it.

Sorry this was so long but I lost 30 pounds with the Hiltonhead diet and I guess I'll always be a bit enthusiastics about it. I gave cigarettes up at the same time, so loosing that weight was a real acheivement; smoking burns 100 calories a day!

I made it to the movie last night. It's almost three hours long! I'll have to come back and talk about it a little latter. My dog needs OUT and he's the boss.

Whitney

p.s. Tim, I read it takes 7 days to totally loose the benefits of a workout. Get back at it. Paul needs a role model;)

Paul,
My name is Peter. My wife's name is Sonia. My kids are Lauren & Michael. We live in Mittagong.
Shouldn't be any doubt about it now!
I apologise for the anonimity, but it is helpful when you don't feel like making a goose of yourself. It's hard to guage how people will react to what you have to say. I've never entered a chat room before, so I was a little hesitant.
I first met you a few years back at a pre-school Christmas party. Our kids were singing Xmas songs for us all. It was (and still is) terrific.
You introduced yourself to me simply as "Paul".
I thought to myself..."No kidding!"....seriously, is there anybody, especially in Australia, who doesn't recognise you?
You struck me as being a very "normal bloke", down to earth, but with extraordinary talents and a magnetic personality, but still, you seem to be a very private person and it appears that most people did respect that.
We had a conversation about work. You said that you sometimes found it challenging to get people (cast members) to do what you wanted. I said I had a similar problem, then you asked me(quite sincerely) if I was a dancer too! I kept a straight (read polite) face, but nearly fell down laughing inside. Sonia reckons I do a pretty good John Travolta after about 6 beers. Must be the ethnic influence. Seriously though, I love dancing, but I'm pretty lousy. When I was about twenty I had a burning desire to learn to dance properly. But, blokes just didn't do ballet in Mittagong in 1979! (Shades of "Billy Elliot" there!)
I really feel as though I've missed my true target in some ways, but then, don't we all feel like that sometimes? I guess it's called dreaming.
I partly made up for it by going full on into aerobics. Still couldn't move well, but boy was I fit!!
I regret that I didn't get to know you better when you were here, but I was very aware that your privacy needed to be respected, especially considering the timing of events in your own life. Coincidentally, it was a hard time for me too. This was when all the biz was happening with my birth mother. I was, in many ways, treading water, you know, - just going through the motions.
Anyway, that's dealt with.

(For all) Regarding exercise and weight loss:
I spent quite a bit of time training for duathlon and distance running, including all manner of cross-training techniques. I was fortunate enough to have a lady training partner who was a real gun. I coached her in running. After a year of "serious", managed training, she won the National Duathlon Championships at the elite female level. She was also the Australian age group triathlon champion and the State cycling time trial champion. My other training partner was the Australian Ironman distance triathlon champion. Impressive (them,not me), but what's my point?....Most of our training sessions made me work very, very hard, but it was fun, yes fun!
That's why I stuck at it. I loved it.
I believe that's the key to losing weight and getting/staying fit: find something that you really like and stick at it. It must not be a chore, otherwise you may lose focus. Find what you like and make it work for you, not against you. It's no good doing it if you don't have fun. Life's too bloody short.

So Paul, I've spilt my guts (a charming Aussie phrase) and you may possibly now remember me.
Best wishes to you and all your family for a peaceful and loving Xmas.
Regards, Peter (no longer ADF)

About "The Two Towers":

I had heard it was more action; it is. They fight and they fight and they fight! I love action ("The Replacement Killers"), but I confess that, after about the second big conflict, I started nodding a bit, though there were plenty of subplots, a little romance and Gollum is great!.

Lately, movies have such complicated plots, that I enjoy them more at home. They're made to be watched over and over again: "The Sixth Sense", "the Thirteenth Floor", "Dark City" and "The Mattrix" for example. Besides, I can only sit in those uncomfortable movies seats for so long.

I couldn't hear all of the dialogue over the packed house; watching this movie at home, on DVD, would solve that problem. I should probably read the trilogy again too. It was so long ago. I doubt that I got the whole thing at age 12 or so, but it seemed some aspects of the book were more fully developed. I guess that's the movies.

I must say that the New Zealand landscape was "Big Screen" all the way: lots of beautiful panoramic shots. Something will be lost in reformatting. You might want to go see it just for the scenery. Some interesting things happened apart from the movie.

Before the show, the predominately College age crowd (I'm in a College town) began to sing our National Anthem. My friend Gene was deeply disturbed and views all Nationalism as dangerous. It wasn't the song but the sentiment. I can see his point, but I view the crowd's musical gesture as an act of personal freedom; of course I also defend flag burning.

As I explainded my possible defense of their actions to him, I was reminded of the bar scene in "Casablanca": the French singing their song to drown out the music of the Germans. Nationalism has had a place in the politics of the past and, for good or bad, obviously, it will have a place in the present. Then this kid in front of me starts experiencing some sort of alcohol induced seizure.

He was initailly unconscious and his friend was trying to assess the situation as the guy gave out about ten big wheezing noises. A very kind lady jumped across the aisle to ask if he needed the Heimlich manuever, but I could tell from touching his back and looking at his face, that he was breathing. He started trying to talk, so we told her no, but thanks, (remember, never give the Heimlich unless the victim's airway is totally blocked. You can accidentaly cause the object to lodge deeper). He ended up taking a cab home halfway through the movie: a little too much premovie party I guess.

Let's shoot for January 1st, ok Tim?

Whitney

Re: the posts about exercise and weight:

Has anyone tried swimming? I have been swimming pretty intensely, give or take, for the last nine months. I never swam before that. I always was lean, kind of scrawny, and my weight always stayed low.

I started swimming, and with each passing week, the more and more I swam and the more in shape I got, the more the scale went UP. I know, probably muscle. I've officially gained about 7-8 pounds since I started swimming, lost nothing. But I've never been in such incredible shape in all my life! My arms are toned and strong (they were always scrawny and like spaghetti!) I stand straight now (I used to slouch terribly.) I breath deeply. I am relaxed. I've never felt so good, with any other exercise! Still, I do NOT like that weight gain. A few things are a little more snug. And for those who may ask, I did intitially eat a lot more, but after a couple of months that increase in appetite went back down to normal, even though I kept swimming. So, what is this gain about, really?

Hey Jody. I guess I think this weight thing is maybe about getting older. Freud said it goes even deeper, to our fear of death. Makes sense to me.

I considered swimming. It just isn't convenient for me. I agree with a previous posting, that we should do something we enjoy to lose the weight. Swimming is low -impact, but in the Winter, I'm just happy to pedal inside and read or watch a movie (multi-tasking). 20 minutes is a relaively short amount of time, when you consider the long term benefits. And that can be as little as three times a week. Surely, we can do this!

Having just joined this conversation, I've been reluctant to post anything relating to these very important topics that people are dealing with, particulary the topic of Susan's daughter and her decision about school.

I was hoping to see a rerun of a great segment of 48 hours or 60 minutes (can't remember), who did a story on the topic of deaf folk exploring socialization and schooling options.

One was an all deaf family , home schooling their kids. and others were all for the method requiring hard work and extra effort to function in the hearing society.

I agree with Innussig that, at her age, it would be better if she were with you under normal circumstances. Since her situation is defferent; you, she and an academic advisor will be tho only ones capable of even thinking about such a decision. If she still feels stronly about this, you can encourage her to do online research. I think she'll feel impowered by the info she finds instead of helpless.

Is there any such facility closer to home?
Can you move closer to the school you mentioned?
Is it safe?

The show I was watching, explained how sign language was outlawed for a long while (shocking and senseless!). How conformist! Sort of the same way the federation refused to add extra steps to the ballroom tradition in SB. Sorry I haven't been any help.

I'm reading "The Scriptwriter's Bible" and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in the visual arts. Reading this book, I'm starting to notice foreshadowing as well as other elements of visual storytelling. This is really interesting.
Whitney

Hello again everyone.
Paul...as you drink your beer, you don't have to give that up and if you want a leader...you've got a lot of them. Everyone of us want YOU on stage or in a film. We're leaders because we can demand more from our film makers. Not film related, but there are several of my clients and I that are putting together a group and possibly a website to protest buying Whitney Houstons music. Why? Not in protest of her music, she's awesome, but in protest of going on national televion and admitting she's still using therefore using our hard earned money to pay for that white shit to go up her nose or burn up her veins. I smoked in High school and I've even had a joint or two in the past year..I'm not perfect. I can't drink anymore. Blatantly admitting that your burning up your multi millions on drugs and then she and Bobby Brown have a house in Atlanta, they were on the local channel for Bobby's most recent drug encounter. They showed her in the courtroom just blithely passing it off like nothing and then wigging out in an interogation type room. Enough of that.
To everyone..I know like Paul "all that shit" about BFL. And you know what I can't do it. It's too much detail for a man whose life barely stops long enough to take a shit and sleep. But, I am losing weight. I'm so overweight I decided to jump start with Slim Fast. I know..don't go off on me, but for me if I can get the ball rolling down hill,then I can take it to a more sensible level. I take my dance class and I'm doing the treadmill. As soon as I drop about 25, then I'll start working out with some weights again, right now, I just use my body..pushups, abs, leg lifts...Inclines for my triceps. I've got a before picture at the salon I work at. The website has my FAT ass on there, I pose with two of my clients to hide part of me, but I promise you by mid January I will have gotten down about 30 pounds or so and I'll post a picture and the website...I'll lead. I've got to.
I do have a question though, when you are selling your computers, how do people respond to you, like Peter said..how can they not know you?
Adam Garcia is down there right now for awhile, and his fans are wondering if people will even remember him.
Peter...I understand the no dancing in 1979 bit...but see Paul beat us on that. His parents were liberal enough to see beyond what other people think. Congrats to them or to his mum. Somebody has to take the lead (hmmm) and make changes.
I won't let you guys down. I'm going to get this weight off. I'll prove it with pictures, you'll just have to endure the face. And I'll let you know when I get my finances in order. So, Paul, now you have to say you'll keep pursuing parts. Hell if I can get my seen you can do the lead, it calls for an Australian lead male. Australian lead males are big over in the US, even if they can't act. And you can, so whoa!!
Ok, long enough. I really enjoy this board. It feels great to talk to everyone and to Paul. A nice little family of sorts. Cheers!
Tim

Sorry the last thing was supposed to be about my script. If I can get the bloodstains out of it from the Disney execs pen and get it out there...you're welcome to it. You'd be awesome

tim - you'll lose the weight..you sound determined! can't say i like exercising much, but do it every day...me, i listen to audio tapes to make it through

adf-aka peter - again, you are brave to share your story - some roller coaster ride...

okay, okay, okay, we want to see mercurio in movies - what can we do, who can we write/email to? i'm totally pissed off about parts going to someone else....

outta here for now....

hey tim---
you sound really serious about losing the weight, but i have to tell you, you never ever will if your self-perception keeps you saying things to downplay yourself like "I'll prove it with pictures, you'll just have to endure the face." Tim, darlin', your words and intentions are beautiful, and so I'm sure your face reflects that. I don't care where everything on your face is placed or how proportionate it all is---you have love within you, therefore you are BEAUTIFUL. Inside and out. As long as you don't believe that and love yourself unconditionally, nothing will ever work.
Lead to win.
Defeat is not an option.

DAMARIS, happy belated birthday.

SALLIE, WHITNEY and other teachers, Thank you, Thank you. I realize alot of teachers do not get told that enough and how important they are to us and our children. You help us give our children tools to meet the challages ahead of them. By the way, I loved Dark Shadows, (the only thing close to a soap that I would ever watch). Twilight Zone and Night Gallery were my favorits. No matter how many times I watch them I still get a that creepy feeling. It's great! I've heard of the movie Solaris, but have never seen it. My girl friend is a big Clooney fan and I'm sure she'd like to his butt too. Sounds like a mommy's night out!

ADF,I'm sorry that was rather forward of me to ask such a personal question. I apologize for opening that painful door. What an incrediable journey you have been on. In reading your post to Darmaris, it sounds like you've learned alot of wisdom from it and have alot to share.

TIM, Thanks for the input about the family with the deaf child. I'll have to keep your words " in her best interest" at the forefront.

PAUL, I hope that was a stout beer you left your post for.....I'll let you on a secret of mine. If you put the bloody beer down stairs in the garage you'll get a workout going up and down two flights of stairs and if your really feeling inspirational you do a 12 ounce curl on the way up. The rule of the game is you can only retrieve one beer at a time. Now the drive for that beer gives you the motivation to do the excersize. It's past my bed time. By the way I also believe that if it wasn't meant to happen, then it wasn't ment to be. There IS a reason for it. Good things will come to you.

Suz

Just switch happen and be around.thanks
Better yet, let me go stick my head back in the sand.

Suz

Lots to comment on:

Tim - to all of us here we already recognize your beauty, your honesty, your integrity and so it is fair to say we love you for that. To be or not to be heavy is not the question, the question is to love or not to love. To love is to accept, to accept is to embrace, to embrace is to evolve, to evolve is to change and to change is to grow, to grow is to embrace, accept and to change into that which we love. I am working to accept myself, to embrace me to love me and allow me to become the me that I am wholey and unconditionally.

Just me.

Peter, thankyou for spilling your guts. I remember you though vaguely and I too now regret not having the chance to know you better but the people I know here, that I share with here, I share with much more than the people I meet. Why? Because I can. Look forward to sharing more.

With all of youse!):!!

Hi there, Paul

Sorry that you didn't get any of the two roles. But, Paul, don't give up. Don't bring yourself down to even the 'breaking point'. Would you like to tell me what your New Years Resolution is? Well, here's mine. My resolution for next year is being more independent. I still live with my dad, though.

Paul, I love your acting. Out of all the movies you did, I love the movie 'Joseph'. Speaking of which, would you want to play another biblical character, like the apostle Paul or Job?

Well, I hope things will be better for you in the New Year. Good Luck to you and Paul, I believe that your brother Michael has suggested the name Angel for your Mum's dog.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Your fan,
Sara

As the World Turns...

The Sun is entering Capricorn on Saturday...so we on THIS side of the earth can celebrate the Return of the Sun King! (ok, the promise that leaving for work and coming home from work in the dark will soon be a bad memory) While those on the "other" side (that would be you Oz/NZ peoples)can look forward to their days becoming shorter, and thus themselves entering into a time of deeper reflection, no? JUST WHAT YA NEED, right?

Blessed Solstice, everyone.

Grab the light. Own it. Shine it. Share it.

The Eternal Optimist (even when she wants to stab her M-I-L for announcing her DECEMBER 23rd arrival when we had no IDEA she was COMING!!!!!!! My god, the NERVE of that woman...)

(ahem)
Dhiana

Well, I'll leave it up to others to decide if they want to join me on 1/1/03 (if we're still here). I'm a stubborn person, but I need deadlines to strengthen my commitment. There's no way I'm altering my current lifestyle, even temporarily, untill after this year is over.

And everything Paul says is so. Unfortunately, for myself, becoming the whole me, isn't the 172 pound reading I got from the scales at my chiroprator's yesterday. Yes, I admit there's a bit of vanity involved. I was the "Best Body" of my graduating class (it's called a superlative and should probably be outlawed) and maybe that makes this harder to just accept. I also have an obsession with function (it's part of my art philosohy) and I'm just not able to operate my body properly with all this extra weight.

I read that just being 10 pounds overweight in your 20s can lead to an increased risk of knee problems and being 30 pounds overweight increases the risk of breast cancer by 50 % (I've know men who died from it too).

I know that some folks believe we just die when we're meant to, but as one of the oldest and wisest books I read points out, "Living recklessly leads to premature death."

On a happier note, thank you Suz, though I've only taken up teaching recently. You sound like a very thoughtful person and your gratitude is appreciated.

One of my students just turned in her revision (email) and I read her the riot act in a nice way. I had already given her a grade, but I didn't tell her of course, in order to get her to finish the paper.

I let her do it on a couple of comic book characters because that's the kind of art in which she's interested. I encouraged her to do better in the future (it's time for her to transfer to Moorhead, a larger "real" College farther away), and to try and personalize her assignments whenever she could so she could stay motivated.

She was my most enthusiastic student initially, but other classes began to consume her time (every student knows how that happens) I should have flunked her, but she had just beaten brain cancer, she was a single parent and was returning to school for the first time. She hopes to be an art therapist.

To make up for her not suffering the consequences of her academic misbehavior, I gave her my version of reality on campus, (as I mentioned before) and encouraged her to stay in touch with me via email.

Have a kick ass day everybody. I've got to take the dog OUT! Though he's a responsiblity, he adds structure and joy to my life. I recommend a pet for everyone who lives alone.

Whitney

Suz, No problem! Your question was not at all forward and certainly not painful, but thanks for your consideration.
It's "normal" for me because I've lived through it, and adapted (isn't that all we can do?) It's probably a little different from an onlooker's point of view.
Your message shows how kind you are.

Paul, It's nice that you remember me, albeit vaguely. Funny that,...I can only vaguely remember who I am myself sometimes!! (Joke).
Peter

Wow, lots of interesting discussions going on simultaneously in this thread!

Paul, thanks for your confidence in me to get through this final. I did, don't know how I did, don't care either. ;-) It doesn't really matter in the larger scheme of things, i.e. life anyway. The first thing that popped into my head after reading your comment was "Can he please convince Prof. A. of that as well???!!!" and then I started laughing at myself for having "regressed" to an elementary school kid (or something like that), Jeezzz--sleep depravation!!!

Whitney, wow, I'll second Suz's compliments to you. You are a great teacher and it will be the students' loss if you decide to leave!!! Could you have given this particular student an incomplete taken into consideration these difficult cirumstances that she has been through? In hindsight, I think my earlier comment in response to yours when you expressed your discomfort with assigning an F probably sounded a lot more heartless than I meant it to be. I too believe very strongly in working individually with every one of my students and help them in which ever way I can to learn, to grow, to accomplish their own goals within this course and education and life, but there also comes a point when there's nothing you/I, the teacher, can do when the students don't do their part. Granted there are circumstances like with your student where they simply cannot do what is expected of them because of personal circumstances / life--and this is where I negotiate with the individual student--but in college required courses (as I've often taught) you do come accross the student who simply has no interest to learn and is only there because they have to. And in the case when no matter what I do to try to motivate them, when s/he does not give me anything to work with, I have no choice but to give the failing grade, because it becomes a fairness issue towards those students who participated, did assignments etc. I used to feel incredibly guilty for giving anyone a failing grade, because of GPAs and whatever else a bad grade does to a person mentally, but I choose not to anymore, if I did my part and I think this is what I was trying to say in my earlier post, but probably did not. Is this making any sense?

Okay, onto the discussion of loosing weight, accepting and loving oneself: Over the course of the last three years or so, I, too, tried to get more into shape and loose some weight but did this two steps forward, three back kind of thing, getting furious at myself, judging myself very harshly and in general being unhappy with myself, measuring myself against external ideals, the body I had when I was twenty, to name but a few examples. Of course it didn't help when my sister who never was "the thinnest" (not that she's overweight or anything) started to take a lot of pleasure from me not being as thin as I used to be--actually that one hurt deeply and was/is part of a bigger conflict between us, but we are working on our reconciliation and it is going amazingly well. I'm not sure why what ever it is that happened to me this summer (haven't named it, not my thing :-)) happened at this time, but something snapped in me in a very good sense and I started to look at my life and decided that I did not want to continue to live it the way I had done for the last 15 years or so. I did not want to continue to be a workaholic and deny myself so many things that are important to me, esp. creative things--[this is where you come in again, Paul. Remember when something you posted here inspired me to draw again after some 10 years of not doing it? I do it as often as I can and am loving it!!!! Thank you for inspiring me to do that!!!],--more balance, greater spiritual awareness etc. And one very big part of this shift was to accept who I am now the way I am and that my value or worth do not depend on how I look, what I weigh, if I graduated last year or next May and that I have many things to be proud of and that I can love myself as is. With that acceptance and deeper love of myself, I managed to free myself of some areas of self-judgement (still working on many other ones but then that's a life long process anyway) I also accepted my body for the first time in my life, began to love it and take better care of it. I do exercise more often now, daily if I can, changed some eating habits and thus far lots about 12 kg. I think for me the success lies in accepting my body and loving it rather than criticizing it/me constantly for wanting to be someone I am not and for freeing myself of these external measures that were (often still are) bouncing around in my head. Here's to loving, accepting, nurturing, growing, evolving, as Paul put it so well in his last post.

And Tim, I, too just want to add, don't put your inner beauty down which shines through in your posts!!!

So much good news about improved health and personal achievements... All I can say is congratulations to all!

Glad to hear you bounced back quickly, Paul. I have been reminded again lately that things can happen as they're meant to happen, if we get our preconceived notions out of the way and we act on what we know. I've made a couple of choices in the past two weeks that were contrary to my intuition. In one case, I second-guessed myself. In the other, I just ignored the message. Both mistakes, but nothing major, fortunately. Gratitude for what we DO have makes us more open and magnanimous and those are qualities that attract even more for which we can be grateful.

Welcome to Whitney and Peter. Thanks for sharing. We loved the Southern Highlands, Peter. Took tons of photos, some in Mittagong. In fact, I still keep in touch with some families we met there. Some of the nicest people in the world!

Bluedog, about the tree "Old Glory"... I haven't been out there for a week, but it still stands. Last I heard, several people were going to take turns tree-sitting. John's been up there for almost 2 months. He's a wonder! The county and developer are still talking about moving it. Ha! It would take a truck big enough to move the space shuttle to get this massive oak down the street. Now the town council for the area is getting into the act, no doubt on behalf of the county supervisor for whom this has become a never-ending embarrassment. The council chair is berating our city council for getting involved in "their" issue. (The city sent a letter to the county asking the county to try to save the tree.) Oh my God! The behind-the-scenes machinations that protect those in power and those who put them there are enough to send anyone into a deep depression. Yeh. That's it. I don't have Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.). I've got Political Acrimony Disorder (P.A.D.). When I watch these protectors-of-the-status-quo puff up and rip into anyone or anything that threatens the current order of things, I want to reach out and throttle them. But I can't. All I can do is find effective alternatives, which is a heck of a lot harder than whacking someone upside the head.

On the subject of weight loss... I'm game for joining in. Trying to lose too much too fast is not good though, Tim. Ask any nutritionist. Main things from what I've learned... eat lots of fruits and vegetable and whole grain foods (not processed). I also have to work with the whole glucose processing problem because I'm hypoglycemic. So I have to stay away from certain foods. Other than that, I confess to having a several exercise machines that I could scrawl the words "use me" into the dust that has settled on them. I need to schedule exercise. Any other tips gladly accepted.

Happy Holidays, All!

Evelyn, glad to hear you passed and thank you for the reminder of me inspiring you to draw again. I thank you for your gift.

Paul, you are most welcome & it was my pleasure!!! and let me in turn thank you for yours.

You're so right Diane. It can be unhealthy to lose too quickly and the program I had the most success with emphasized the veggie and fruit thing like you mentioned.

I stopped eating refined wheat when I was 18 after reading a book entitled "The New American Cuisine". The writer didn't think we should drink cow's milk either; it's made for baby cows. I do love cheese however.

I try to think about what I'm adding to my body (muscle) rather than what I take away (fat). It's less stressfull. The glass is half full, not half empty.

Oh and you made a good point about not getting too attached to our preconcieved ideas of how things should unfold. Why limit the possibilities? While we're off doing what we think is right, we can miss the opportunity to do the optimal thing.

I was just wondering if anyone has tried the Atkins diet, or any variation thereof. I know that there are a lot of opinions on it, usually strong ones, but I know that for me, it took weight off that I had been unable to get rid of any other way. The only reason I don't still do the low carb thing is because I just have to have my breakfast cereal! :) But it was a godsend for both myself and my dad...you wouldn't think that it would lower cholesterol, but it worked better for him than anything else, and he was up close to the critical level. Anyway, just wondered what everyone else thought about it.

Mysti