Paul's Corner

Enjoy you visit with you mom. They sound to be few and far between. I try to visit my parents one a month whether they need it or not. They are getting up there in the questionable years and their health is not as good as it could be.
The new twist on Creation is a good one. One I could believe in.
Tickled to hear that you started working on Body and Soul this week. I know what it is like not to have a steady income. But sounds like you're back on track again.
What is it about dancers and plumbing? Michael Flatley started his own plumbing business when thing got thin early in his career. Called Dinasewers or Dynasewers, something crazy.
Great to hear from you and to know that things are looking up. Have fun with the family.

Hey Paul,
Glad to hear things are going well. I bet your girls are glad to see their Grandma. There is nothing like a visit from Mom and Grandma to make a person feel happy and loved. Your mention of the Sydney Dance Company made me wonder. What is your favorite ballet? and What ballet did you enjoy dancing the most? I know these are silly questions. I am moving across the country to continue my dance education in less than a month. Thanks, your post has made me remember why I am going. So now I will try and be more positive, instead of worrying if I am making the wrong decision and leaving something better behind.
Have a great time with your Mom!
Marie

Hi everyone,

this is my first time ever comment to this qroup/discussion. Sort of stumbled upon it "by accident"--if there is such a thing--and was rather intrigued by all your discussions, thoughts and exchange of ideas, but most of all, by the diversity, the honesty and respect you have for each other. This is what kept me coming back and reading and gave me lots to think about. So thanks for that! And of course I felt a bit "guilty" for prying on your lives and what seemed like "private" conversations, that I now feel the need to at least introduce myself/participate. I have never done this, believe me, and quite honestly, I'm not sure why I'm doing it either, but curious to see what happens and what other inspirations I can get and perhaps even share with you all.

I guess one of the many things I've pondered is in regards to the bumper sticker that Paul posted "Practise random acts of kindness and senseless beauty." I really like that and had seen it before, but always wondered, why "senseless beauty"? How can beauty be senseless? or should we practise beauty senselessly, without thinking about it too much, and instead be spontaneous about it? This really puzzles me and I'm not sure what to make of it, but it's very appealing to practise senseless beauty, even when I'm not sure what it means.

On another note, forgive me, but English is not my native language, what does "lol" stand for and what exactly is "blogging"--Paul's reference to everything being quiet on the blogging front.

Paul, I hope you are having a wonderful time with your Mum! Since I usually only get to see my Mum once a year--my family lives in Germany, where I am from, but I'm living in the US pursuing my Graduate degree, or at this point my collection of graduate degrees, the Ph.D. will be the last in my series of 3 so far--I always treasure the time we spend together and since she is a counsellor professionally, we always get into very deep conversations that are very rewarding, but at times rather uncomfortable, since she does push me and knows how to push my buttons (in a good way!). :) But that's really the only way to grow, when we get out of our comfort zones, try new things, spread our wings and have faith in ourselves and our friends to cheer us on or to pick us up again when we stumble and fall.

Glad you have a job again. I know what it is like as well, not having an income, since I currently don't--academia stinks in that way, especially when you are still a student and can only work on campus. But I'm going to make it! The good side of it is, that all summer long I have all the time in the world to write my dissertation, something that I haven't had in a very long time, if even ever, and I'm loving it!!!! Yesterday I finished a chapter, one that was really difficult for me to write, so I'm also very extatic at the moment and hoping to take that momentum and positive energy right into the next chapter.

Okay, now I'm going to try to find Lesley's question and think about it, if I'm so inclined to do after finding it.

Nice meeting you all!

wow!
ive never gotten an audience with someone that actually listened! so what i want to say is, hi! your work is great! more than anything i want to say how impressed i am that you and your family stay together. it has been my experience that marriage doesnt work(in most cases),its refreshing to see someone that still values trustworthiness. i admire how open you are with your fans and yourself. this webpage is like reading your diary. thank you for sharing something real. thank you also for giving everyone a chance to be heard.

Welcome Evelyn and Myra thanks for joining us. You know I dont think as people who post on this site as fans but as friends! We are getting to know one and other and sharing our "Stuff". I started posting on my corner so as people could get to know me - not the actor in the movies but the person in the flesh. And I am proud and honoured to have met such remarkable peope via this site. I am grateful too for the opportunity to have grown and learnt from each and every soul who has made a contribution here.

Evelyn wouldnt it be grand if people could just let themselves go in such a positive and beautiful way as to practise nothing but randon acts of kindness and sensless beauty??? Give it a go! Be abandoned in your loving and laughing and see what happens!

My Mum reminded me of a bumper sticker I bought her when I was home last...... "Dont drive faster than your gardian angel can fly".....I reckon our goddess Dhiana will like that one?!

Myra you are right, in a way this is my diary. It is an on going discovery of me and us. A living journey journal that belongs to all who contribute, for it is our journey and our lives that we share.

Think on those three things and we will kick it off soon

With love

Paul

Hi Evelyn--to answer your questions:

"lol" is shorthand for "laughing out loud".

A "blog" is what you are reading--a frequently updated personal site. It is short for "web log."

Welcome!

Hello All! Welcome to the new, and hi again to the old.

Paul- glad to know you're alive and kicking! Good thoughts on creation by the way- being the naive midwesterner I am, I was about four inches from the screen reading VERY slowly and trying to translate :) Diane... on that credit card idea... Very good- I think you've given me afternoon plans.

Also, Paul, glad you're getting to see your mum, and hope the wife and girls are well. How lucky that your wife gets along with your mother!!! That's a rare find. :)

As for family, they're always a blessing of sorts (whether by brightening your day, or reminding you of how good it feels to be on your own-- I know the step to moving out is hard, Sarah- I like Paul, moved out to go to school when I was 17. And as you may remember, I am soon to be moving again across the country to NYC for more schooling... I know it's scary, but be brave, babe, we'll do it together!). I quite liked Jamie's statement that family is home, and will always be there: so don't be afraid to spread your wings and fly! Speaking of family, I think I'm going to go spend some quality time with mine.

Have a good day!
Megan

Hey all and Paul,

Reading, "I love dancing in the rain," reminded me of a poem about (I think) the remarkableness of the ordinary.... Its called: Marla

"She said she knew
what a blast off
felt like while
she snapped her fingers
and tugged her lapel.

She had a way of
easing through a thought
and perforating a
conversation.

She couldn't dance
and wouldn't sing.

She could make you
stand in a rainstorm
and feel nothing
but laughter
dripping from your hair.

She was everything
in the world
to no one at all
and, at the same time,
you believed her
when she said
she knew
what a blast off felt like."

Anyway....just something for y'all to think about...I hope all is well!

Sarah (with an "h") :)

Howdy, ya'll!

I'm winding ma' way toward that shopping trip just down the road apiece (which in Texas parlance means at least 40 miles), but first I had to drop my boys off at the paintball park. Do you have that in Australia, Paul? People put on masks and chest protectors and run around shooting each other with little balls filled with paint. I want to envision the kids having a great time, but I'm also waiting for a tearful boy to call. Ooooh, it's so hard to let them go.

Paul, it's wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your mother (and she with your wife). I hope my boys will always consider me a friend, as well. I wish my husband's parents weren't so far away. I adored my grandfather and want my boys to have that kind of a close relationship with one or more grandparents, but my inlaws live in Florida and my parents are no longer alive. If and when I am blessed with grandchildren, I intend to be a very attentive grandma.

Ah, I would LOVE to dance in the rain. Problem is we don't have any and we desperately need it here during fire season in blisteringly hot L.A (100+). I had fun yesterday dancing around my air-conditioned bedroom to the music from the movie "Chocolat." I was making flower arrangements for a friend's Bat Mitzvah and the music added to my delight.

I continue to enjoy reading posts from people who are just joining this site and from folks who've been here. And Evelyn, it can feel a bit strange putting your thoughts out there to people you haven't ever seen, but this continues to be an inspirational site because everyone is so caring and respectful.

Be well and happy!

Love,

Diane

Hello Paul and everyone. Megan I went to the site you posted for Acadia and those were great pics. My mother has a B&B in Bass Harbor which is on the island and she also has a web site. If you use the Google search engine and put "Bass Harbor Gables" in the search window it will take you right to her site. It's worth a look see. If you do end up going to Acadia a few places I recommend are the Jordan Pond House for hiking, scenery and the food. They make the most amazing lobster stew in the world with butter and heavy cream and lobster claw, whole chunks. With that you get two fresh out of the oven popovers. I realize I sound like an advertisment but it is pure heaven. Also I recommend going to Sand Beach which is an ocean beach rather than a lake beach with big waves and rock cliffs to climb and view the beach from above. Also you can take a carriage ride pulled by horses through the park on carriage roads. The park is the only one in the country where all the land was donated by private land owners. People who live there take so much pride in the place and you can feel the love of all that is natural and peaceful there. It will live in your heart forever.

Paul have a wonderful visit with your mother. My mother happens to be visiting me too this week from florida. She is actually my birth mother, I am adopted, who I found just four years ago. Just having her in my house, knowing she is there in the next room, is an amazing feeling after not knowing who she was for so long. She and I have a very spiritual connection that I felt from the day I had any awareness of myself until this very day. She told me after we met the first time that while she was in the hospital before she gave me up she would hold me and tell me to someday come and find her. I swear I knew that in my heart. When we met we found out we both have the same favorite author, Dean Koontz, and watch exactly the same television programs, Law and Order and assorted True crime shows. We also both have the same spiritual beliefs, we both know angels were looking over us and God brought us back together after 30 years. My mother and she get along famously in fact the two of us, my biological mother and I, did a television show on Life Time TV called The Things We Do For Love as a way to thank my mother for supporting our reunion. We made her a framed collage of pictures of all of us and poems we had both written to my mother who is of the most generous spirit. She knew that I didn't want to find another mother but that I wanted to find out about who I was and where I came from. If she felt concern for her own feelings she never let on but supported my searching 100%. It was and still is a soul opening experience. So Paul, I will think of you enjoying your conversations with you mother and your wife as I sit in my kitchen with my mothers and chat and laugh and cry over coffee and cookies. You know when you are there and in the moment enjoying the company of the people you love so dearly and you stop and think that "this is what it's all about", loving each other? It really is you know. Take care all. PEACE.

I was the one who posted above and forgot to put my name on it. Doh! By the way, any other Simpsons fans here?

Ruby, what a lovely picture you paint of your relationship with your mothers! How incredible that you are so deeply loved by these two women.

All this talk of Acadia and Bass Harbor has made me restless. Maybe we could get the boys there next Spring.

The Simpsons is my favorite animated show. My sons can quote episodes. I, on the other hand, am practiced at the Marge Simpson whining sigh. Sad, but true.

Diana...."Hmmmmmm". Lol! I know what you mean. I do the same thing. Acadia is a great place for kids. When I was there just a couple of weeks ago I saw a red fox and two bald eagles. There is swimming and you can rent bikes or explore the rocky coast line. I would also recommend going on a whale watch boat ride. In Bar Harbor there is a boat called the Friendship Five that goes out twice a day for a four hour spin around the islands to see blue whales. The last time I went which was last summer it was so foggy you could barely see them but you could just make out their back as they came up to the surface and dove again. You could hear them when they blew air out their blow holes. It was like "whales in the mist". Of course going to the top of Cadillac Mountain is the ultimate high in every sense. You can see in every direction for hundreds of miles. Sunset at the top is not to be missed. If you use Google to search online put the word "Cadillac Mountain" in the search window and you will see a link for a pic of the view from the top. I found the best thing my parents ever did was say "no" to a TV in my room and "yes" to incredible journeys like the ones we would take to Acadia and out west. Now I appreciate not having a TV in my room....:-)

And yes I am SO incredibly blessed to have the relationships that I do with both of my mothers. Just last night my bio-mom, as I call her, and I went for a drive to the beach near my house and talked until one AM. We talked about how amazing an experience it has been getting to know each other and what a unique relationship we have as a parent and child who have only just met as adults. She also has two children from her marriage to another man after she had me and she was telling me how different her relationship is with them than it is with me. She and I are more like friends, soul mates even, than mother and daughter. If you saw a picture of me and my mother and my bio-mom you would think that my mother was my bio-mom and my bio-mom was my adoptive mother. It is clear to the three of us what is nature and what has been nurture in me. I'd be curious to meet more people who have been reunited to see what their experiences have been like. One funny thing we have found is that there are no appropriate greeting cards for people who have been given up for adoption and then been reunited with their birth families. "Happy birthday Bio-Mom". Lol. We are all still getting used to the whole thing. It's just fascinating.

Take care Diane!

Doh! Doh! Once again I forget to put my name. Must be mommy brain....Lol!

Hope I am finding all well this Sunday morning.

The word diary has been brought up a few times the last few days. I've actually kept a scrap book since 1980. I have pictures, ticket stubs from events (i.e., concerts, sports, movies, etc.), postcards, wedding announcements, you name it, if it was a part of my life it's there. Someone asked me a long time ago why I was doing that. My flippant response has always been that in case I ever became senile, I could look at the scrapbooks and think what a great life this person has had, even if I didn't recognize anyone in the books. Maybe I should just consider it a way to track my life.

I started a diary the evening my husband left me 12 or so years ago. I wrote in it faithfully the first year and then it tapered off to when I had the time. When reading it now, I am amazed in the change in myself. The first pages and months started out as "Poor me, whatever will I do without him?" My current postings show a very strong independent woman, who doesn't take any crap, and who is quite content with herself and her life. Husband or no. (Although it would be nice to have one in my life right now.) It's amazing to be able to see your own evolution and progression as a human.

Take care, and keep those feet movin...

Why on earth should you need an excuse or have to have a reason for keeping a scrapbook. I love it. I've been keeping for more years than I care to remember. It's a really nice way of cheering me up when I'm feeling down - sense memory and all that. Good for you Kay Lynne. It's also a great way to see how far you've come when the road ahead looks a bit daunting.

Like the song says "Put yourself in a happy picture."

Ruby-
I'm adopted too... and in the process of being reunited. I should have some stories for you hopefully by next month!

Peace,
Megan

Megan I am so glad to hear that! You must be feeling SO many different things. Let me know how it goes. I'll be thinking of you. PEACE.

Thanks Ruby. . . You're right, I'm feeling LOTS of different emotions: I only hope my experience will be as succesful as yours- you're very lucky! Anyway, I'll keep you posted!

Megan

Megan, I just want to offer you a little support because I never knew another adoptee who had searched and I felt kind of alone sometimes.

Whatever happens I want you to know that simply the act of you coming to this place where you are putting everything on the line to find out what you need to know makes you so incredibly brave and strong. I know what it takes to do what you are doing you are not alone in this experience.

Feel free to email me if there is anything you want to talk about....:-)

Wow, thank you SO much for this warm welcome from all of you, and esp. from Paul, Cat, Diane and I have this sneaking suspicion that I'm forgetting someone—please don't take this personally, but it will take me a while longer to remember everyone's names and figure out the who is who. Your welcome is very moving and touching!

Thanks Cat, for enlightening me about "Lol" and "blog"-I do so enjoy increasing my English vocab.

Diane, I totally agree and disagree with you about this being difficult to open up to people I have never met. Yeah, it is weird on some level, but honestly, sometimes not sitting in the same room across from someone and having an honest, open conversation in which I make myself vulerable and transparent can be a lot easier than having to face them. But the impression I'm getting for all these conversations is that you are a very safe and supportive group, something I can't and don't want to take for granted.

Now I would like to share something with you that happened to me today. Thanks Paul for the encouragement/challenge to be abandoned in my loving and laughing and to see what happens. I got this amazing gift back in being there for a friend today who is in a lot of pain. Jason and I had been friends for a while when unfortunately he fell in love with me (damn guys, why do they "always" do this at the worst possible time?) and I was in no place to return that kind of love to him (or anyone at that point in my life) and that experience naturally destroyed our friendship, which I have intensely missed over the past few years. We did talk to each other now and then, but it was always very superficial and had lost the depth and trust. I totally understood that, because I hurt him deeply, which was killing me, but I knew that it would take time for me to gain his trust back. A year ago, he finally found a partner whom he was dating, and I was thrilled to bits, because I knew how much he wanted to have a woman and partner in his life. Unfortunately that just broke up, as they were planning their wedding. I hadn't seen him for at least 2 months—mostly because of my continent-hopping, going to academic conferences etc.—so I just found out today. I instantly knew that this conversation would take up a lot of my time that I didn't think I had because of the twenty-thousand other things I felt I had to get done today, and there was this selfish part of me that wanted to brush him off to do my own things, but I'm glad I remembered that I want to practice kindness and senseless beauty. And it was the most amazing conversation, to see Jason open up and make himself vulerable and to have that kind of trust in me after what had happened and what I had done to him. I'm thrilled to have my friend back! and I'm glad I let go of my plans and listened to him and eventually shared some of my own past pain that I rarely talk about and showed him how much of a growing experience that has proven to be in my life and many good things have come out of it, despite or perhaps because of the pain. Mind you, I don't want to go through that pain again, but I wouldn't want to miss out on the inner strength and personal growth either, that continue to come from these experiences. This gift of Jason's trust today really blew me away, because I didn't think we'd ever make it there. I guess my point for me/us is, to make someone's day as often as I/we can and be there for them, and not to be so absorbed in myself. Love is something that really needs to be shared. :-)
So spread the love around!

hello everyone!! I apologize if this post is a bit distracted & scatterbrained; I've got the idiot-box on while I'm typing this (Robin William's 1st stand-up act in a Looooonnnngg time is on HBO), and it's a lot harder to type while laughing than I'd thought it'd be (kind of like walking & chewing gum some days)..... Paul, hope that you & your family are having a fantastic visit with your mom, and that she has a safe trip home.... this thread is full of great thoughts about moms, nature/nurture, and the importance of love..... Kay Lynne, I'm a firm believer in diaries & scrapbooks for the very same reasons you mentioned (it's a way of being connected not only to special moments & people in my life, but times of change/growth & stuff)...& congratulations(!!) on not giving in to those "poor me" feelings!!! Evelyn, welcome to the site, I hope that you & Jason are able to continue the healing of your friendship, it sounds as though you've both really missed each other & the trust you shared.... Diane, thank you for your kind words, and I know just what you mean: every time I hear a song by the Beach Boys I smile & tear up a little (still)... every time I hear someone say how similar my brother & I are I can't help but laugh out loud (my sister I are were often mistaken for twins &/or each other... being told how alike my brother & I are is a whole new experience--even after all this time!!!!!).... anyway, just wanted to check in & say "hi" to everyone.... I'll be sure to give some thought to the 3 things that keep me sane, sounds like that is going to be a great train of thought to jump in on..... until then, take care all!!!

P.S.-- are there any Simpsons fans out there who are familar with Matt Groening's other work? I'm a huge fan of his Life/Love is Hell series....

Hi Rachel:

I watched the Robin Williams HBO Special tonight also. In fact, I can't seem to unwind from his energy so I'm up surfing the net. He's got an incredible mind, huh?

Welcome . . . and I, too, am formulating/contemplating the 3 inspirations that keep me going.

Peace.

I can't believe I missed Robin Williams! I hope it will be on again. I have seen him live at Carnegie Hall and my stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

Rachel I am a fan of all of Matt's work and get a local paper with Life in Hell in it every week. I think if you quoted one line from a single Simpsons episode I could tell you which one it was. I have seen every one so many times and I still laugh out loud. "Catfeesh?", "My cat's breath smells like cat food", "That's a paddl'in", and one of my all time favorites...."Throw the ball damn you, just throw it Marge!".

Have a good day everyone. PEACE.

Dhiana here--Don't know how often ya'll come back and check these threads, but I HAD to comment:

"Dont drive faster than your gardian angel can fly".....I reckon our goddess Dhiana will like that one?!"

(Ok, folks, get your "Tolerance Hats" on here...)

I've seen my guardian angel. Or one of them.
(insert spooky music here)

I was driving on the NYS Thruway to my current home from visiting my father in the hospital after he had undergone MAJOR surgery for colon cancer. I sobbed well into the first 45 minutes of the four hour trip back to my current home and family of two babes and husband. As I was entering a certain portion of the highway where traffic gets pretty nasty, I was just going into another all encompassing SOB attack, when I glanced in my rear view mirror and saw a man in my backseat. I FREAKED out, as you can imagine, and WHIPPED my head around in horror...but there was no one there. It hadn't been a "whole" person, actually, just eyes, and as much around the eyes as one would see if you yourself got right up to the rear-view mirror and perused yourself.

But I recognized the eyes...they were of my Uncle Douglas. Whom I never met. Who died the month I was born, while he was serving in Vietnam. I've only seen one picture of him. But it was him. My Dad's closest brother, come to scare me back into my wits so that I concentrated on my driving and not on seeing my Dad in such a horrid state post-op. It worked, believe me.

So, Paul, uh...YEAH, I figuratively and literally "like" that bumper sticker!

In the Arms of Her Ancestors,
Dhiana

Ruby,

Thank you for your support- It is much appreciated. You're very special. Like you, I've never known any other adopted person who's searched for their biological family, so it feels like a shot in the dark. I'm just trusting in the kosmos, and walking through the "dark" knowing that however it turns out, that's how it should and that's all I can ask for now.
I may take you up on your e-mail offer once things get more into "full swing". Thank you.

Peace,
Megan

You are very special too Megan and you are on the right path. I was telling my bio-mom today that I still haven't gotten used to the fact that she is in my life and I don't know if I ever will. She is like a stranger I have known all my life. I have a half sister and four half brothers now on my mother and father's side. I found him too but he and I have such extremely different spiritual views it's hard for us to mix but that's ok. I have gotten so much more out of this experience than I ever imagined.

My thoughts will be with you every day Megan and yes, feel free to write if you ever want to talk about anything that's going on. I would love to learn from you too.

PEACE!

hey paul?
was it good to hear from your mum? i bet it was.There's nothing like a good cup of tea ey?
especially with the person who has brought u up!
well its good to hear that ur fine!! take care ok
love you in strictly ballroom.
That movie was a huge inspiraton to me

Welcome Evelyn,

I liked what you had to say about spreading love and kindness. I had a little different experience about a year ago, though not as emotionally fullfilling as yours. I was getting a yard of dirt in the bed of my truck for the endless changes to my yard. The guy driving the front loader lost control and rolled back into my brand new red truck. I got out of the car mad. The poor guy was mortified. I looked at the damage which wasn't too bad and then I remembered the time I was 17 and I backed my jeep into the side of a Sears van across from my house. The guy let me off the hook. I decided my truck was not a Ferarri and I let him off the hook. He was surprised and grateful and I felt good about myself for doing something nice.

Kindness does have a sort of contagious or exponential effect. I hope that he has the opportunity to repay my favor to someone else someday.

You were asking about Paul's bumper sticker; somebody please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's also a cultural reference or some kind of play on words, something about random acts of violence and senseless (something). I could be wrong though.

Hope to see you around.

Heather,

Sounds like you had a "Pay it Forward" kind of moment. Awesome!!!

Thankx for sharing

Margie

My sister sent this to me yesterday. Don't know if it's a true story, sound like it though, but it doesn't matter anyway. It's much more about the message, for me anyway. It ties into "Paying it forward" & "Practising random acts of kindness."

And Heather, thanks for sharing your story!
Evelyn

THE CAB RIDE

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But, I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door.

This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

"Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like looked somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.
"It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."
"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said.
"You have to make a living," she answered.
"There are other passengers," I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. "You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware--beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT `YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

okay, now i'm all teary-eyed at work...thanks.
beautiful story. forwarding that to my mom.

peace

Hey All, particularly Ruby:

My case worker called me this morning to tell me that she had finally gotten in contact with my birth mom. Apparantly she is very excited about meeting and wants to a.s.a.p. So this is very good news, huh?!?!
I'll keep you all posted.

Peace
Megan

congratulations, megan. now all those butterflies in your stomach can be set free.

keep us posted.

hey everyone and paul,
its my first time here and its great to hear all of your stories. Paul, its good to hear about your marriage and family. Its also good to here that its working out. you love your family so much and that is so wonderful to here. I know how special your kids will be feeling for such a loving and devoted father you are. Its great to be able to share stories and say personal stuff so you will beable to understand and thats what im willing to do with you!!!
You have inspired me so much with your movies and espcially in strictly ballroom. im starting dancing myself and enjoying it. anyways thanks for your stories and take care with your family and have fun
lots of hugs and kisses
vanessa

Megan! I hope you read this even though it's an old thread. You a must be on pins and needles. When I found out my birth mother's name I was afraid to call her so I sent her a letter instead.

She sent me a letter with pictures of herself and my half brother and sister. It was neat just to see her hand writting but when I saw her picture I was just speachless. It was the first time I had ever seen anyone who looked like me.

You have so much to look forward to so take your time and do it the way you feel is right. If you feel apprehensive at all just tell someone you trust and everything will happen as it should. Don't ever feel pressured to do something you don't feel right about. The only person you owe anything to is yourself. Take care of yourself.

I will be thinking of you.

I'm thrilled for you, Megan! I hope your meeting with your birth mother is everything you have hoped it would be and more!!!

Diane