Paul's Corner

Paul...What a great kick in the butt as the new year unfolds! Everyone needs to be reminded to put up or shut up once in a while. Linda

This is an interesting thread...
depending on which gut you're referring to my diminishing physical one (YEP!) or my internal intuitive psyche either one is relevant.
Now is the time to step up tothe plate and make things happen. Following my mantra daily is working for making my physical gut shrink. Positive! Happening! Definitely a little pain but a whole lot of psyche to GAIN!!
Working on my script. Nobody else can finish it out or SEND it. Being unafraid to expose your work and let it be critiqued takes guts.
Daily critique of your work can sometimes wear you down, but you have to keep going. Being a colourist(for Oz and UK)means taking immediate feedback. You pray to the colour god before each application and then voila...they're happy.
GUTS...hmmmmmmm to decide when it is time to move on and where you are going to go. Making a plan of action and sticking to it even though you know there will be pain involved. But hoping that the final outcome is worth it. Intuitively knowing it will be.
Will...is knowing when not to acquiesce to the pressure from others. Will also requires one not to have a myopic view of life's possibilities or the present but to envisage success.
Today is the day! Fer sure dude (LA Valley speak)

STEP ON UP!!!

Timbo

Good morning Grandma!

Gosh, what do is say Paul? Having just turned 40, living in the moment is of particular interest to me and I see myself at a crossroad. Once again, you've provided a thought provoking thread! Thanks!

In fine art, willpower and guts are essential ingredients for success. Perseverence is almost more important than talent! Do I have the will to do what it takes to help it happen? Do I have the guts to go where my art is more likely to be appreciated and encouraged? Is there an alternative to my physically moving to this place?????????????

On the "Sunday Morning" show they did a feature on a man who collects the personal effects of people from the 20th century whom he feels made a positive contribution to our society. Of this diverse crowd, he said the characteristics they shared were talent and an inner conviction or light.

Timbo, (can I call you that?) from reading your post, I think you have that inner light. How can anything stop you? Please keep us posted on everything!

I'm still on track with my hybrid weight reduction program. I don't know if talking about it annoys folks. I hope not. I only do so in the hope that it will encourage them. My efforts were noted by my friends at the reception I attended recently and that was sweet encouragement to keep going!

Today's my free day! My hamstrings are a little sore from the lower body workout I did two days ago, but that wont stop me from "stepping up" to the buffet at the Chinese restaurant! Or will that be the steak house?

Joy and serenity for everyone!
Whit

Paul, I liked what you are saying, Peer pressure for example! stepping up and doing what you need to do not following others! it takes "guts" to do that, "guts" to maybe be a little different than everyone else who will try to fit, and never get there, to stand for what you believe in and not turn from it. live each day like it would be your last, so there are no regrets! my mom tells me that all the time! its good to hear!! thanks Paul for the post!!

Love to everyone! XXOO's
Kelli

Wow-that's a good one. I guess a few years ago I would have answered "no" to everyone of those. Anyone who knew me, know's that I am not a bold person. More of a follower than a leader. It stems from my childhood. I grew up in an abusive environment. My father abused my sister and I in every way imaginable. I was always hearing how worthless I was and called every name in the book, including stupid, and so on....I never had anyone reach out to me when I was a kid. As the years passed, the bruises went away but the words would come back to haunt me for many years. Over time, I have come to realize that my father never loved me...how could he and do the things he did. I realize that now and I have accepted that and I learned what kind of person I do not want to be. For many years I tried to win his approval and now I realize I dont need it to be happy. I am 31 years old now, and I am going to begin college this year. I am going to be a nurse. I want for my kids to believe in theirself and that they can accomplish anything they desire. I want to be that example for them. I dont want them to live in fear like I have for so many years and waste time trying to make everyone happy all the time. I want them to have happiness for themself. I want happiness for myself. I will accomplish this goal of mine. I will finish college and I will be a nurse. And you're right, Paul, today is the time.....tomorrow may never come. Thanks to all. Good day.

Paul,
Yes, I've already stepped up and I'm feeling satified about having lifted myself, but thanks for the encougragement too! Encouragement is so important, for each and every one of us.
My approach: always trying to work smart as well as working hard, plus a little well placed courage when required. It's the method that works best for me. Recently it has paid off well beyond my expectations,......FINALLY!!
Which leads me to think:....what goes around, comes around......eventually.
The committment is it's own reward, but in time it also brings further rewards.

Whitney, I don't mind a bit that you mention your weight loss goals. I empathise, believe me!!!
Praise for having the guts to give it a go.

Regards to all,
Peter

Whitney,
Oh hell!..No pun intended (re: guts)!...Oh please believe me. I have an honest face, see?

Peter

Good evening, Whitney,

What an challenging thread, tackled so brillantly by the "Magnificent Seven"...you, Paul, Timbo, Kelli, Ann, Peter and Linda.

Are "Will" and Guts" joined at the hip like milk and honey, Amos and Andy, bread and butter, love and marriage? Can you have one without the other?

Kelli, your Mom was right. One day at a time, and I add, one cannot hold back the dawn. Case in point: Tomorrow, (January 20th) will be my 70th birthday...I am proud that I made it so far, and today find myself among you on this site. You are all so dear, intelligent, caring, loving, and accepting young people. You have tolerated this Grannie, and that's the best birthday present of all so far...(tomorrow I'll see what my children come up with!)

You all face different challenges, but you all have the guts and will to persevere...you have time on your side, but don't squander it!

Ann, I admire your desire to go into nurse's training...your choice couldn't have come at a more opportune time. There currently is a shortage of nurses, for the first time in a long time, and you will be have no trouble securing a good position. Nursing is a noble profession, like teaching, (right, Whitney?) with its own challenges, but it certainly will never be boring!

By the way, I received an email birthday card from a wonderful nephew of mine, who lives in Israel and has six kids... like our eldest daughter, who has nine...talk about will and guts!The card shows a cartoon picture of an elderly lady in a rocking chair. The caption? "Grandma Rocks!" Now, I accepted that as a compliment...isn't that gutsy too???

Love to you all,

Grandma

Hi Grandma Mildred.
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays for tomorrow.
Have a great one! 70 years young!!
Peter

Excellent!! Grandma
70...It just dawned on me my mother would have been 70 on May 25th this year. No wonder when I saw your picture I felt something. You "talk" like her in many ways. Happy Happy Happy Birthday. Thanks for all you add to the board.
And yep anyone of you may call me Timbo...that's my nickname at work.
I did some very positive empowering work today on some issues at home that had to take place. Guts!
I also made a statement by not attending services this morning and did the other work I needed to. Yep! WILL!
Today was a good day and has to be followed up with more passionately good days like today.

For all you guys...thanks for being my mates on line. I need you!

Timbo

Caryn,
When you get back, we are doing a marathon of this hottie!!! :)OMG... i'm getting wet! ;) Would you like to go hiking? I would soooo like to go hiking on his happy trail! hahahaha....

http://groups.msn.com/TheJakeGyllenhaalFanClub/photos1.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=1352

love you!

~Michela

Wow...what a timely thread! This comes at just a point in my life where I have to make some relatively hard decisions, and honestly I'd been wondering if I had it in me to do so. It really is easier a lot of times to turn a blind eye to the things you don't want to see, and I'd been doing just that for entirely too long. And then I see this, which reminds me that I really can do ANYTHING I put my mind (and a little elbow grease) to. Thanks for the great reminder, Paul!

Whitney - Keep talking about your fitness program...hearing about your (and Tim's and others') success keeps me motivated!

Ann - Hello to a fellow nursing student! Good for you for making the decision to go to school. As Grandma said, this is the time to do it. Now if I can just get over my phobia of needles... :)

Grandma - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Tim - Kudos to you on tackling those tough issues, and for taking a stand.

Hope everyone is well. I'm feeling unusually chatty tonight...better quit while I'm still making sense. :)

Mysti

Happy Birthday to you Millie! You are so dear to me Grandma! I wish for you a day filled with fun times and every minute of them shared with Elliot! I hope that when I'm 70 my present moments will resemble the ones you tell us about. Your life sounds full and satisfying.

Kelli, your mom sounds very wise. I'm glad you're listening. Of course, as far as peer groups go (they aren't always a function of age you know), you have us too just in case you need a second opinion. You know we're full of them!!!

Ann, I'm glad you're here. I wish I could go back and fix your childhood. I would if I could. Many of us still struggle with hurtful things done and said to us by "adults", but it sounds like you aren't living in the past. I'm placing you in the "undoubtably, unbeatable" catagory with the rest of the board. And Grandma's right. You picked the best time to be a nurse.

Ah, Peter. I love your posts. You write so well! And I'm glad to hear things are going your way!

There was a time when hearing people laugh made me automatically think they had to be laughing at me. No more. The guts thing went right over my head. It seems when I reduced the size of my ego, I stopped seeing everything as a personal attack. But thank you for protecting my feelings. Communication is tough!

Timbo, I'm glad you're a Grandma fan too. Don't you just want to hug her when you look at that picture? I see so much love in her eyes! Her loving attitude reminds me of my grandmother.

I'm glad you had a good day. I think I can safely speak for others, as well as myself, when I say we need you too!

Michela, how can you mention another hottie at Paul's corner? Just kidding (of course I'll have to look at the pictures out of pure curiosity!). I confess I wrote of a mild and fading fascination with all things Clooney in an earlier thread. However, since then, I've gotten a better perspective. I mean, you don't see George posting to his own board? Then, I'd be impressed. But of course, I'd buddy up with Clooney if he insisted. I mean, he does have his own production company and he might provide Paul with an opportunity. After all, it's my duty to make connections!

Well enough goofing around. I've got stuff that must be done.

Good night to everyone. Especially you, sweet Grandma. I wish you a happy day now, tomorrow and everyday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!!! 'Happy birthday to u'
I want to Wish you the best day, filled with love!! hope your kids give you something very special because I know you deserve it!
thanks you for everything!! XXOO"S!

To everyone, I hope your all doing well!! Like Grandma said, its great to be among all of you! your all so smart and wise and always give the best post!! love always
Kelli

Okay, at the end of two very long days of writing and thinking, surviving by sheer will power, I just had to stop by and check in with what's going on, and my first response to Paul's new thread was this very big "HUH???? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" but as I'm absolutely exhausted and incapable of typing, I'll let the guts and will thing go for now, on a subconscious level I'm getting it ... perhaps it will surface to consciousness in my dreams. I'm so looking forward to jumping into my bed ... but first

Happy Birthday Grandma, I hope you will be showered with never ending love, joy and little surprises, and not just on your 70th birthday.

To everyone else, I wish a very happy day, enjoy it to the fullest, make the most of it!

Happy Birthday Grandma! And Whitney, didn't you mention something about a birthday recently? When was that?

Evelyn, hang in there! Work sucks, and not sleeping sucks even more. But it'll feel so good when you're finally done!

Whitney, good on ya' for keeping up with your workouts. I'm finally back in training (ok, so that pun WAS intended...;) and it feels grrreat! Although I still have a LOT of work to do before I get to where I'm world-caliber again.

Michela, lol! I just saw your post (after I spoke to you on IM). You crack me up. Sure, I'll watch whatever movie he's in with you. But just remember that I'll always be true to my dancing beau... Heheh. ;)

I finally watched Joseph today. I liked it. It was especially interesting because I read the book The Red Tent a little while ago. Anybody read that? It's a good book. It tells the same bible story, but from Dinah's (Josephs sister's) point of view. She makes Jacob and Joseph and all her other brothers out to be murders who killed her true love...

Two days until Fla! Whohoo!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!!!!!!! HUGS, KISSES AND A DANCE OR TWO WITH ME FOR GOOD MEASURE. CONGRATS ON MAKING IT THIS FAR AND STILL HAVING SO MUCH TO GIVE - ITHANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY BALLET SHOES!

I RAISE MY GLASS OF COOPERS TO YOU!

XOXOXOXO

Oh, dear, I am blushing and bursting with joy on reading all of your kind posts, and I thank you for your comments and good wishes!

Paul, you DON'T want to dance with me...I am a TERRIBLE dancer, (oh, my poor husband) and I would only step on you and your ballet shoes, and put you out of action for sure! I happily accept your toast, and revel in your hugs and kisses...you certainly know how to treat a girl!!

You know what? I don't want this day to end!! I
told you all that I am a cheap date. Elliott is taking me to see "Chicago" a second time, (at my request) and then out for a romantic dinner of chicken wings...(that's what I like..Ellie loves steak!)

Again, kisses and hugs back to you all!

Your Grateful Grandma

Happy birthday, Grandma! I hope you have lovely day. Linda

Have a wonderful day Grandma. I find it difficult to call you Grandma though considering you're my mom's age.
Paul owes you a dance...don't forget it! You never know when he's filming in LA or something you CAN go out there!! : )
I'm so glad you're having a wonderful day. And hey you're going to "Gold" movie tonight. They sure raked it in last night didn't they? Renee and Richard?
ENJOY!
luv ya
Timbo

Happy Birthday Grandma!!!! You're right! This board is amazing! And you're a special spice in this wonderful mix of people. Only in cyberspace!

Mysti, I have a needle and blood phobia too. Mine is finally letting up a little. I think seeing it on tv so much has helped (though I usualy have to turn away from it even on film!). I know about some techniques developed in psychology for eliminating the fear. If you need to know about them, let me know.

Poor Evelyn! I hope you got good rest last night.

Caryn, thanks for the encouragement. I chose not to drink on the free day either. It was just too easy and cheaper! I'll reach my goals sooner and the health benefits of not imbibing are enormous! Of course I'll have a good brew in the future, I'll just have to keep lifting and doing an aerobic exercise a few times a week, but that was inevitable.

I confess, I'm envious that you're going to Floriday!!!! You've certainly earned it though!!!!

Paul, what a sweet wish for Grandma! She has to be your biggest fan and I can imagine her delight at reading your special post to her. Aren't we lucky?

I wish a good day to everyone! I hope that today holds all the time you need to do everything you can to further your dreams.

Whit

Linda, thank you for your birthday wishes! The day started early, and it has been lovely, with wonderful loving messages from all of you on the site. Also, Paul toasted me with a beer (I don't drink) and offered to dance with me two times..(I don't dance well at all, and had to decline because I could injure him!)

Our younger daughters, one in New Jersey and one in Connecticut, called. The daughter in NJ said something was coming via mail. Her sister told us to go to a fancy resturant, and send the bill to her and her husband. When I told her I wanted to go to our favorite chicken wing place, there was a silence on the phone for a moment, and she said, graciously, "Mom, it's your day, do what you want!"

Our eldest daughter, who lives with her large family in Israel, sent me a beautiful E card which I printed out to keep. It brought me to tears...we haven't seen each other since 2000, and certain circumstances and turmoil in that part of the world keeps us separated and anxious!

Timbo, you may call me anything you wish!
Millie, Mildred, Mil, I've been called it all!

Yes, I was happy to see "Chicago" win all those kudos last night. Our daughter and husband saw it on the huge screen of the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York City. All of the over 1,000 seats were taken, and everyone seemed to love it, but I have heard complaints that it was jerky, ala "Moulin Rouge" (you should pardon the expression.)

On my 70th birthday I still maintain that "Strictly Ballroom" continues to be my favorite musical-comedy-drama, and in my long life, I have seen them all! I wrote that to Tara Morice, and I again repeat it over again on Paul's Corner. It will one day be shown on our brand new, huge movie screen in our new theatre.

Love, with thanks,

Grandma, Mildred, Millie, Mil, etc., etc.

Whitney, those tips would be GREAT! After having my daughter (epidural and all that goes along with), I thought I was over my fear, but the last time I was in the doc's office for a shot, I found out otherwise! The blood part doesn't bother me, but those needles...ick.

Hope everyone (especially you, Grandma!) is having a great day!

Mysti

Hey Aunt Mil,
How's that? I'm glad to hear it's been fun and that there's still more to come!!
There is such a happiness to your face that reminds me of my mom...so your my new Aunt Mil.
Paul..You just got one of the greatest compliments. My mom who would have been Mil's age this year was a movie buff as well. I still enjoy her favorites, Sound of Music, Dr. Zhivago (she always had me play the tunes from each of those on the piano for her), Till the End of Time.
But when someone has seen that much change in the industry and that many films and tells you that SB is by far the best musical to her...you've just won Gold mate.
Off today from work and cleaning house..yuk..so I've spent way more time on the computer than usual. Anything to avoid the dustballs and basement clutter my wife has listed on the honey do list. God forbid Idon't get it done.
Hugs to everyone and have a great one aunt Mil.
Timbo

As always a postscript from me.
Aunt Mil you know you rate when you get a response dedicated to you from Paul. You go girl!

Whew! Almost missed the birthday party...what a celebration!

so from bluedog to granny mil....Happy Birthday and wishing you the best....

And the gifts - m'curio's special birthday post, hearing from the children (safe and sound), the group's birthday greetings..and best of all, a date with elliott!

Good to hear you're having a great birth day...Looking forward to celebrating next year with you too...

I'm new to this posting thing. I just saw your movie Strictly Ballroom. I never heard of it till I got it for Christmas, and I just wanted to get more information on you. I didn't know I'd find something like this. I am amazed that you take time to do something like this for everyone. About the thread. It is inspiring. I am planning on moving to California to try to start an acting career, and it's something I want to post on my wall. It's so blunt, but so right. Thanks!

Nicki

Hey everyone! welcome! Nicki!! good Luck on the acting!
Grandma,the snow is gone here! we have some of your weather here in Tennessee! its in the 50's and 60's!! Im glad that you had such a wonderful birthday and many to come! I better get my butt over to see that movie, chicago, I watched the Golden Globes last night and saw Richard Gere and Renee, win, Im happy they did!! say hello to Grandpa Elliot for me! tell him he did a good job with youyr birthday taking u to the movies!! Take care Grandma! XXOO's
God Bless!! love to all
Kelli

Grandma, Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!Wow a personal invitation from Paul for a dance!!!!!You go girl!!!!!!
Mysti - how far are you into the Nursing Program. I may need to call on you for moral support, i hate the thought of sticking someone with a needle...i can handle them ok for myself, I just dont look forward to making someone else crindge.
Whitney - thanks for the compliment. It has been a long rough road, but things are working out. I am even working on a book with my mother about what we went through. Who knows? Miniseries maybe.... Good luck making connections for Paul...

Paul, my daughter, Krysten is 10 and a big fan of Strictly Ballroom...she would like to say hello.

Hi Paul. I really enjoyed the character you played in Strictly Ballroom. My mom and I watch that movie almost everyday. I like the way you danced in that movie and I thought it was amazing how you and Fran danced at the end! My favorite song on the movie was Perhaps. During the song Perhaps it looked as if Fran wasn't even a beginner!I bet you guys practiced for months because dancing seems easy but it isn't easy at all. During the movie I even dance sometimes. How long have you been dancing and why did you decide to dance? Hope to hear back,
Krysten

Well, folks, good day to all.....again, Happy Birthday Grandma!

Dearest Paul, Whitney, Timbo, Peter, Linda, Kelli, Evelyn, Caryn, Mysti, Bluedog, and Ann,

What an unforgetable day, thanks to all of you! Your wonderful messages of congratulations, best wishes and love were so sincere and touching, I managed to shed a tear (of happiness) here and there! I didn't know 70 could be so wonderful!

Paul, I will never forget your sweet message, and someday I hope to reciprocate in some way. Maybe by the time I am 71, I will have improved my dancing a little...your offer inspired me!

Timbo, if I remind you of your mother, I take that as a compliment, and you may call me Aunt Mil anytime!

Elliott and I did go to see "Chicago" for the second time, and that is enough for me. (I had to check some things out, for 2 numbers are in my variety show.) Now, if someone told me that I could see "Strictly Ballroom" again on a large screen, I would run, not walk!

Elliott and I thank you all again...we shall always cherish the memories of this day!

Love,

Grandma

I'm glad your day is going well Grandma! How could anything go wrong with so many well wishers?

Paul, I was just watching The Mattrix earlier and noticed it was done in your country. That would have been an awesome film to be a part of. Your agent should have gotten you a reading for that one! The leading actor from The Interview was also in The Mattrix. Who's his agent? Maybe they'll take you on. They appear to know their stuff.

Well, I've got to go. Ann, I'll have to tell you about that relaxation teqnique for treating phobias tomorrow. I had company today and I didn't get much work done. I still have to workout!

Good night Grandma!

Oh dear I hope I didn't miss it...Happy Birthday
Grandma!!! I wish you many musical numbers to come, and thanks for sharing your wit and wisdom with us!

Good morning, Whitney,

Yes, the thrill of being 70 still lingers on and on, so you are not too late, Innussiq, and I thank you for your lovely note and good wishes!

Evelyn, you are right, a birthday as big as a 70th should be celebrated more than one day..actually, around our retirment community, I am considered a "youngster." Our contemporaries are well into their 70s, and older! Ellie and I have been invited to a 95th birthday bash in February. We had attended this lady's 90th 5 years ago. She asked me to lipsync some songs for her at this party as part of the entertainment. I may not be able to dance Paul, but I do "sing"!

Tomorrow night I am hosting another classic movie night. I do this once a month. I am showing "A Chorus Line." I have shown, over the years, "Strictly Ballroom", Singin' In the Rain",
"The Bandwagon", "Dirty Dancing", "Interrupted Melody" (a gorgeous biographical film on the life of Australian opera star, Marjorie Lawrence. (1955) and others too numerous to mention. The seniors love this, for the contemporary movies are too violent, and musicals are not being made lately. A lot of people walked out of "Moulin Rouge" but maybe "Chicago" will do better!

Have a great day, everyone, and remember, I am still basking in the warmth of your good wishes!

Love you madly,

Grandma

I thought you could use this Paul.
You have anpther fan. My 21 year old niece was over last night and I was watching SB. She watched it with me and was awestruck. "Who's that?" "That was the BEST movie!" Etc. etc. etc.
I told her if she'd like to see "more" of you she might rent Exit to Eden at Hollywood Videos. I think she's going there today.
What a trip. You have lasting power to impact peoples lives. It took a lot of will back then to make it. It still does. Can't wait for the next film mate...
Just a question...what about stage? I understand not "dancing' per se but stage work? Just thinking out loud.
Oh well...
Hey everyone...the weight loss is working. SLOWLY but it is going down and not up. These pants I bought from the Omar the tent maker are getting loose. Yippee...About to graduate to a lesser size. I will be so happy when I can report that I am below a quintal in weight and should register on kilograms.

To a great day!!
Tim

tim, congrats on the weight loss.

grandma mildred, i've been off board for about 5 days, so i missed your birthday. i hope it was wonderful. and, how was classic movie night?

paul, thanks for the thread. you have impeccable timing.

stepping up,
t

Texas, you missed a mahhhhhvelous birthday bash for my 70th, and it all took place on this Corner!

My face is still flushed from the excitement, and all you have to do is go over the previous posts and read all the lovely comments! It was, without a doubt, one of the most unusual and heartwarming birthdays in recent memory...I may never recover!

Tonight is my classic movie night, Texas. I am showing "A Chorus Line". The critics were not kind to it in 1985. It is bright, has some good music in it by Marvin Hamlish, and lots of young people jumping around in leotards and tights...that ought to keep the seniors interested! I could show "Strictly Ballroom" every month, but it is slated to be shown on our huge screen later, and I don't want to overdo it now.

Timbo, I am proud of you! Keep up the good work! I know how hard it is, but success will be yours because you are determined! There was an old adage from Weight Watchers..."once through the lips, always on the hips"...unfortunately I never followed that advice...I just send it on!

Paul, I told my friends about your toast and the invitation to the dance...they were jealous! (just kidding!)

They thought it was dumb of me to turn you down...about 220 of them would gladly have taken my place!

Love,

Grandma, Aunt, Mildred, Millie, Mil..

Tim,
Congrats on the weight loss. Inch by inch, step by step.....before you know it, success!

Step Up, Take Action, Do, BE, EMOTE it...

Don't let time slip away, don't "Squander" time, isn't that what Millie said?

Now, that doesn't necessarily mean to do something rash like spend your savings on a new motorbike, does it? (PAUL?) ;-) Kidding, love.

I just sat here for a full minute and did nothing. I watched the time go by. One minute of my life, GONE. But I don't think it was for nothing, nor is it for nothing when we do our daily work either. If you went about it half-assed, well, then that's another story, but to do something well, or to practice doing something, or even to just philosophize (oh dear) about stuff is still persuing the dream.

But then, maybe my dream is different from yours, yes?

Dhiana

PS. If I get lucky tonight, I'll dream of a dark, handsome guy reaching out, handing me a cold beverage...sweat covering his...glass, yeah, that's it! )phew. Allright. I'll behave. Three weeks without a husband is a LONG TIME, dammit!They're good for other things other than just answering silly index card questions ya know! ;-)

LOLLOLLOL..Dhiana..that was excellent.
sweaty glass huh???
You do need a root.
May your husband return soon and have a penchant for "games."

Later.

Timbo

Hey to all the cool people on this board! Had to go without my "PC" fix this morning. Too busy!

I finally saw "The Bourne Identity". Of course I'm seeing it much later than the rest of the planet. I give it two thumbs up for action. It's so fast paced! They threw us a few red herrings, but I'll have to watch it again. The DVD provides an alternate ending. Of course it would have been better with Paul in it!!!!!!!!

Timbo baby!! Way to go! There's nothing like going down a clothing size! Only when someone has gotten "big" can they truly appreciate things like wastebands that aren't ellastisized and clothing that resembles the current style instead of a kimono. You're well on your way! I'm filled with admiration. I'll be taking my measurements in a week or so. I'll let you know how I've done since 1/1/03. You inspire me still!

Before I forget, Mysti, here's the deal. Now remember, this is just one method researched by a few psychologists. But what the hey? Give it a try; it's simple.

First you make index cards that describe the events that trigger your phobia. Let's use your needle phobia as an example:

Card one: Nurse walks in with needle.
Card two: She swabs your arm.
Card three: She looks for a vein.
Card four: She sticks you.
Card five: You see the syringe fill with blood.
Card six: She removes the needle
Card seven: Nurse provides a cotton ball.
Card eight: You rest feeling relaxed and well.

Now, once you have the cards (I almost passed out writing that!), find a very comfortable recliner or bed and put yourself in as relaxed a state of mind and body as possible.

Once you relax, pull out the cards (you keep them close by) and begin to read them in sequence as you continue to relax. Visualize the chain of events, but stay relaxed (photos would probably work even better). Do this a lot. Eventualy you associate the object or events of your phobia with restfull peacefulness. You slowly reprogram your mind to eliminate the fear.

Sounds easy. I've never really done it because a blood and needle phobia isn't a terrible thing to have right now. Besides, tv seems to be desensitizing me; when I make myself look, I try to stay relaxed. My worst fear is an IV, but I don't dwell on it. I hope I helped. The method is sort of like self-hypnosis. Give it a shot (ha ha).

Really, you have my empathy. I know what you're experiencing. If I even think about a needle too much, my mind automaticaly goes through this series of thoughts and I go white and have to put my head down. It happens so fast! A friend was telling me about her epederal (sp?). Before I could get to the window for fresh air I had to rest on the floor! I don't even have pierced ears!

Grandma, I have to go to sleep. My dog says I need rest and he always knows when it's time to eat or sleep. Sweet dreams tonight. Tell Ellie howdy!!

Good night to some; good day to others! Love to everyone!
Whit

Do I have the guts? Guts? Isn't that the stuff that turns in your stomach when you first step on stage, speak before a crowd, do a job interview, or approach a group of strange faces to introduce yourself. I guess guts would then be confidence. Didn't we all at sometime have selfdoughts that we've had to master? Oh I'll admit I'm not perfect. I was painfully shy during high school. I waitressed during high school to earn college money. It was the best thing that ever happen to me. I had to go up to complete strangers and make conversation. WILL ..it took great will power to not spend the tips I made and put them in the bank. Will could also be faith. Faith is what keeps me going.You have to chase away the black butterflys of dought. WHAT AM I WAITING FOR... do any of us know what we are waiting for? A pay raise, a new job? Are we not taught good things come to those who wait. To wait or not to wait that is the question. Okay, on occasion I procrastinate. Like waiting till the last moment to pay the bills. EWWW. NOW IS WHAT MATTERS. Yah ... live the day like it's your last! Make the most of it.

Grandma Mildred, Happy Birthday, I wish I could have been online to wish it to you yesterday. I hope it was filled with the same love that you share with everyone here. Did you get to go to the chicken wing place? Sounds like you had a terrific birthday. Here's a big HUG. Sami sends a HUG and she hopes all your wishes came true.

Whitney. LOL..I'm still smiling about your post on missing your first day on teaching. It sounds like a kid threw a coin in the wishing well (wishing that school wouldn't start yet) and got his wish. The kid probably would have been my son.
LOL. It's great that your still on track with your workouts. I unforturnately fell real sick with that nasty lasting cold. Evelyn been baddling one too. However I'm back to the old grind now. Was that you who just had a birthday too? Did I miss it?

Ann, Glad you came out safe and sound after your wreck. What a scare. Funny how we realize just how much somebody really means to us when we almost loose them or loose them before we can tell them. I tell my family everyday that I love them. Really everyday.

Evelyn, how's the paper? Is it over yet? Hang in there. Hope you finially knocked that cold.

Caryn, Congrats on finishing.

Bluedog, The Maddie Foundation sounds great. We need more of these foundations out there. Animals happen to be my soft spot.

Now who am I to kick? Whit, Ted, Evelyn?

Paul here is your kicks in the shins. Sow sow your garden...

Hugs to everyone

SUZ

Sorry Tim, I put Ted, you can kick me. I need it anyway to do my workout tomorrow :)

Peter(ADF) Sorry to hear your backs been bothering you so much. I hope your on the mends.

Dhiana, great idea on the indexing. Hope you don't mind if I try it.

Suz

Just a curious side note, are there any vegans that come to this site? Paul, with your sausages, I know you are a meat eater.

The reason I ask, a lady in my nieghbourhood, whom I say hi to as we pass by, turns out to be vegan (like I am). It's amazing when I actually took the time to stop and talk to her in length I found out so much about her that I respected.

Then I started thinking about the web, and how I probably know more about the people that post on here than I do some of my own neighbors.

Is that my fault for not being out there? Am I so wrapped up in my own little world, I neglect to see the wonderful people withing my grasp?

Have I grown so comfortable with being a voyeur on the web that it has influenced the way I act with others in the real world?

hmmmmmmmmm time to step up...step out..... say more than "hello".

Ann, I'm still doing my pre-requisite stuff (only one class left!)...I'll start the actual nursing program proper in the summer. LOL I'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time! I'm ready to learn, and to do...but a lot of the doing (and some of the learning!) has me a little bit nervous. I worked in a hospital for a while, so I know a little of what goes on, but then I watched it from the outside...what's on the inside is still mostly an unknown. Guess we'll find out soon enough...stepping up to the challenge!

Mysti

Whitney - thanks for that tip! I felt my skin crawl and my stomach clench the first time I read it, but the second time it didn't seem quite as bad...so perhaps that will work for me. It's funny, getting my toe stomped on or my finger smashed doesn't really scare me, but that little bitty stick with a needle (that usually doesn't even really hurt) just sends me into orbit! But this looks promising...I'll try it and let you know how it works out. Thanks again!

Mysti

Suz,
Very kind of you to comment. Fortunately it's loads better. I'm even riding my mountain bike since Sunday past. Thanks to the Universe. All in good time, huh?
Too busy to do much else though. But that's life.
Peter

Whitney - thanks for the tips...I will certainly put them to good use at test time....I hate taking tests! It's like my brain goes out to lunch or something.....Major phobia on the test taking thingy.

Susan - thanks for the concern. It was some more ride spinning around like that. I am fine...my truck, on the other hand, major boo boo's. I still dont know the extent of the damage...I was told I would know something Monday, nothing. Then I was told I would know something Tuesday, nothing. That's scary. They say it will be today...who know's? You're right, you dont know what it's like till it's gone (wasn't that a popular 80's song). I read a book from Dr. James Dobson years ago, and he gave some good advice. Tell your kids all the time that you love them. Especially when you have to discipline. They have to be told that you love them and are concerned for their well being. Otherwise they will look elsewhere. That is scary. I tell my kids everyday, that I love them....

Mysti - I worked in an emergency room years ago (doing paperwork). See some scary stuff there. But you get opportunities to help people. My husband is taking a first responders course...the book he has has some really tough pictures in it. I managed to get thru it without hurling. I just want to help. Good luck with your nursing program....GGOOOO MMMYYYSSSTTTIII!!!...

Grandma, good day to you....

Good day to all.....

Good morning, Whitney,

Suz, hugs (and kisses thrown in) for Sami and you.

Did I get to the chicken wing place? You bet, and I have the empty bottle of Maalox to prove it!

Peter, glad you're feeling better, and really up and around! Grannie says, take it easy, take it easy!

Dhiana, that quotation about squandering time came from my once favorite movie, "Gone With The Wind." (I say "once favorite" because "Strictly Ballroom" has taken #1 in my heart.)

There is a scene in GWTW where a cat is sleeping close to a granite sign which states.."Do not squander time. That is the stuff life is made of...(signed) Benjamin Franklin" Upstairs in the bedrooms of the mansion, young ladies are napping so as to be refreshed for the evening barbeque and dance...only Scarlett is fully dressed, pinches her cheeks for color, and tip-toes down the gigantic staircase to look for Ashley.

Now, I propose that we get together someday before I get too old, and have a barbecue convention in Paul's honor, in one of the southern states, like Georgia, (Timbo), or West Virgina, (Whitney) or Florida, (me)! We could serve chicken wings, and other traditional diet foods! Think about it, and let me know!

I hosted my movie-classic night last night, and to my amazement, it was standing room only! I showed "A Chorus Line" and throughout the movie, I was wishing it was "Strictly Ballroom" up on the screen. The dances were boring, all done in the same manner, with gyrations of the hips...annoying to me, as a lover of SB! The only two good musical numbers were "What I Did For Love" and "ONE!"..(singular sensation, every little step he takes.."

After the lights were turned on, I asked the audience if they enjoyed the film, and there was a resounding "yes!" but we agreed that we all love the classic musicals where a man and woman dance...together, like in you-know-what.

"A Chorus Line" as a film was made in 1985, just 6 years before "Strictly Ballroom" was first shown at the Cannes Film Festival. I understand that the showing of SB was at midnight, and the audience gave it a long, standing ovation! That was certainly a harbinger of things to come!

I had some extra tickets for my variety show to sell last night, and when I announced that, hands went up all over the auditorium! I think generally we will have a sellout both nights, 970 seats each performance...the opening number? A chorus rendition of "Love Is In The Air."

Timbo, keep up the good work! Remember my slogan, "Once through the lips always on the hips." Unfortunately I did not follow my own advice when I tackled those chicken wings!

Love and affection to you all,

Grandma, Aunt, Mildred, Millie, Mil...

Grandma, what a wonderful idea....A barbeque.....I also live in Georgia, have relatives both in West (By gosh) Virginia, (as my husband calls it), and Florida.....YEAH BARBECUE!!!!!!! I'll bring the chips and dip!

Terrific, Ann! We can make it a pot luck type of barbeque, and Paul can bring the beer! (Coors, of course!)

Cheers!

Grandma

Why a Barb a que would be jus divine.
We could have it at one of those old homes down in Newnan Jorja. Wher tha world still moves slower than maple syrup.

So Ann what part of this state are you located in?

Oh and another thing if we had that warm BBQ here in GA. There is a caterer here that does BBQ caterings to resemble GWTW. Actually there's a lovely old mansion and horse farm where we did an event once. We could fly Paul and Andrea over for it. It'd only be about $200 per person to bring them over... Atlanta to Melbourne and back is about $1300 pp right now...

Now yougotme started...
Wouldn't that be the summer to remember!!!

timbo

Thank you, Ann! I need all the encouragement I can get! :) And I've had my own experiences with gross pictures and such. When I was taking Anatomy and Physiology, my textbook came with an additional manual that has pictures of cadavers and what have you...pretty gross. Imagine my horror one afternoon to walk in and see my four-year-old sitting on her bed with it! Her comment? "Look, mommy, there's a muscle!" Glad it didn't bother HER...it bothered ME enough for the both of us!

Bar-b-q sounds great! I, of course, vote for Texas. :) But should this idea turn into any kind of reality, I'm game for wherever (within reason!). Talk about a party to remember!

Hope everyone is having a fantasic day!

Mysti

Evelyn, I forgot to mention one of my favorite books I have was written by a Harvard history professor named Ephraim Emerton. The book is on the middle ages from 275-814. The copy write is 1888. Which means it's lacking in updated info. I'm waiting with baited breath to read your paper. No pressure.LOL. I guess I should have put that in my previous post on WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR:)Okay,okay I can wait.

SUZ

Good afternoon Grandma! I love you.

Well, this is gonna' be short. I have a few things I want to get done today.

I'm beginning to see how folks can find themselves online "chatting" so much. You guys are the perfect pals! You're always there and you're always supportive. But Michelle from Nova Scotia is right; we need to make the effort to reach out to people in the real world too. I believe my dad would be alive today if he'd had a few "real" friends. Of course, if virtual friends keep you alive or enrich your life, then I'm with John Lennon: "What ever gets you through the night...". I'm sure a happy balance is the solution, as usual. I'm thankful for the light of friendship that this board has brought into my life, regardless of the manner.

On a lighter note, I woke up witha migrain and then when I finally felt well enough to walk my dog, I found that the passenger side window of my car had been broken out. You may wonder why I think of this as a lighter note, but when I found my billfold intact (You're right. I will never again leave it in the car, Grandma.) I was so happy, that the vandalism didn't even phase me! I took the dog for a walk instead of a drive to the park and they'll fix the window on Friday (I was too busy tomorrow). It happens about every 4 years, so why get upset?

It appears that nothing is missing. My little rachet set is in there, but everything is piled up where they searched for "valuables" (ah, the advantages of being poor!). I'll have to check more closely when I clean up the glass. I'll be very upset if they stole the SB video that was in there. It belonged to the library and I don't want anyone to miss out by not seeing it. I really love it that much!

Don't worry Paul. I used to shelve books at the Public Library and I'm friends with the guy who orders videos and DVDs. I just wish the purchase would benefit you.

Well, I said I'd make this short, but as usual, it's long. Before I go, Mysti, let me know if you overcome your phobia and Ann, I've heard about the test phobia. Do you do better with oral exams? Most schools will provide an oportunity for you to test that way. I'd certainly take advantage of it, if it helped. Your right though, the card idea would work well for you too. You could see yourself entering the room, taking your seat, holding your pencil, getting your test, taking it calmly, knowing the answers. You can do it.

Suz, I did mention that I turned 40 last November 17th in a post on a previous thread. That was BPC (before Paul's Corner). I'm a Scorpio. Thanks for asking about my B-day. You're a sweetie! Hey weren't you going to let me know about the Burning Desire video? I saw mention of it in a previous post, but never saw the explaination. I somehow missed it.

Peter, I'm glad youre feeling better. Where do you ride? Tell me about your bike. Do you have rear suspension? Mine's a Giant with front suspension only.

Suz, I was wondering where you were. Don't feel bad about missing a few workouts. I read that it takes at least 7 days to lose all the benefits gained through an exercise program. With my headache, I'll probably have to skip my aerobics. That's a bummer, but one thing my past experience with the "Body For Live" program left me was the ability to jump right back in and not beat myself up if I have to miss a workout or eat differently than I planned. I'm glad you're feeling better.

So Dhiana, did you have that dream?

Grandma, I'm glad movie night went so well. And I'd love to do the BBQ! Shouldn't we come to you? It's nicer in FL anyway. Let me make a little money first, but count me in. If I get the Guggenheim in March, you'll definitely see me at your door, but sooner would be better, God willing.

My headache's feeling better. Great day to all!!

No, Whit, I didn't have that dream...I had a damned cat in my face all night long, then a stuffed Manatee (when the four year old crawled in) then a sweaty five year old who kept laughing out LOUD and cracking himself up while he slept. Quite amusing, but no handsome man in site. DAMN!

Millie, Happy Belated Birthday~ Can you believe I've NEVER watched GWTW in it;s entirety? A shame, I know. I intend to fix that...when I'm ninety four and can't get out of my chair til the Aide shows up.

Oh, Anne, about the needles: for me, it's got something to do with metal entering my body. It's a vein thing though. G*R*O*S*S!

Peter, mountain biking? Oh, I am jealous. It was negative three here last night. I even brought the Newfoundland inside last night, much to his dismay. (The only dog I know who pants when the kitchen is 58 degrees! Big dork.) Oh well. At least he got to "snack" in the garbage while I was sleeping. Ergh.

Today I am taking the day by the horns and leaving work at a decent hour and meeting my friend at our house for a long overdue chat about her emotional state and her responsibility when watching my children (she babysits frequently). Not pretty, but someone's got to tell her the truths as they see them. She can agree or disagree, but at least it will be off my chest.

Ah, confrontations. Hate 'em. But they need to be had.

Toodles and love,
Dhiana

PS Oh Anne, the accident! How horrid! I am so glad you are allright. We've driven by WAY too many these past few snowy months. Just hideous. My husband stopped to help people out of a car which had flipped up on it's side Monday night. I was worried that the car would fall on him. After he got the three passengers out safely, they flipped the car back over onto it's wheels, and I could hear the driver saying to his buds, "DUDE, that was wild! Who's got the joint?". I was like "Hey, ASSHOLE, my husband just risked his life to get you out of that car, you pot-headed son of a #&$%!" Bill got into our car after he realized they were stoned out of their minds, and we left. Two others stopped and had been helping, but we had the kids in the car. Jeesh! and don't get me wrong...I've had many a wonderful relationship with the Mary Jane, but good god. Stay at home, dudes!

Dhiana
I owe you a thank you. I just read your posts on the other thread. They were great. I am like an earthquake in my wife's little niche. Totally unpredictable. She can't control it. The cult can control her but not me.
I've had a few good times with a Maryjane myself. Actually one not so long ago it was truly and uplifting and fun time...but you are so right. As a 42 year old man I do know better than to drive. KIDS. You know they will try stuff, god knows we did, but you want to protect them. I'm just going to say you wanna try it? Then do it in the basement with your mates and I'll collect all the keys. Then if they've puked everywhere they'll have a great next day cleaning up afterthemselves.

Anyway thanks again Dhiana. You really said it like it is.

The BBQ thing? Hey I'd go anywhere myself to...I think Miami would be fun..however if you want it suthern...then Atlanta would be the most advantageous place. It would be a huge HOOT.

Later

Timbo : )

Wow, have I been out of the loop for 40 years...the last time I looked, Mary Janes were lovely shiny black shoes with straps that little girls loved to wear!

If Paul's barbecue was held in our retirement village, 9,000 people would show up to honor him!

By the way, some years ago there was a club called the "Nelson Eddy Fan Club." The club had yearly reunions, played all his recorded duets with Jeanette MacDonald, had speeches, showed films, etc. I don't know if it still exists. I don't suppose all you youngsters knew of this famous couple, whose duets charmed your great-grandparents.

Has anyone noticed that we have lost the topic of this thread? I vaguely remember it had something to do with "Will" and "Guts"...wasn't that once a famous vaudeville act?

Grandma, Take it easy? Fat chance! I'll die on my feet, probably. But, thanks for the advice. I will remember it respectfully.

Whitney, The bike's only a "cheap Apollo". Front suspension only, allow frame. It does the job.
I don't ride it off road (shame, shame). I bought it for the upright riding position, soft ride and lack of foot restraints. The other bike is a Cannondale time trial bike (MUCH more expensive). Unfortunately I need good lower back flexibility to ride it. It's also very "light" to ride, so it's less practical. It's purely for racing.

Dhiana, Don't be jealous. It has regularly topped 100 deg F here, with loads of smoke from the Canberra bushfires. Oh for some cooler weather! (and RAIN).
I used to go running at night in the middle of winter and return with frost on the tips of my hair. It didn't worry me. At least it wasn't too hot. Rug up and get out there! Several thin layers works best.

Peter

Michelle NS, Here's (hopefully) some encouragement to step up & out.
It's good to say lots of things about lots of things to lots of people, even if we think we may say something a little dumb once in a while.
We probably haven't. And if we do, who cares? (I don't). It also opens up new opportunities, which in turn create more opportunities, and so on and so on...............Life becomes rich.
Contact is what turns our wheels as human beings, you know, the whole of us, psychologically, physiologically (BODY & SOUL!). It's easy to avoid contact when you're busy. I'm self employed, exceptionally busy and spend a good deal of time cloistered in my office pushing keys. Visiting this site is a very enjoyable, inspiring and liberating little break for me, but my soul would surely be lost if that's all I had.
Let's get out there and blab our heads off. We can all hold each other's hands in spirit.

I am so lost. Did you have an accident Ann? I'm with you on the needle thing. The thought of something breaking my skin freaks me out. It's a very primal fear.

Peter, I don't like the clip type of pedal either. Call me a wimp. I can just see myself falling over. And I read your second post; great philosophy!

I'm going to try and lift so I'm keeping this short. Oh, and the SB video was stolen!!!!!!!! At least the thieves have good taste. I hope they enjoy it.

Good night Grandma.

Whit

whitney, smart note card advice.

grandma, one, singular sensation, every little step she takes. i think i saw that movie 40 times when it first hit cable way back when.

michelle, n-s: not a vegan (red meat, poultry and pork non-eater), but i admire your will power. seems like you're able to redirect that power to the art of making a friend, too. cool.

cheers all.

Okay, surfacing to the real world after 5 days of very intense work and nope, not done yet, but oh so much closer and I do feel absolutely excited about it and also very sad. Letting go of something you've worked on for a very long time is difficult. I guess in some way I am stepping up to finish this "damn thing" (that's what I call my thesis). Suz, I did email you the shorter version last week of this final chapter I'm writing , did you not get it? How about if you send me an email from the one you use so that I can just reply to it? I guess having written more than 50 pages over the course of the last 4 days for three different sections of this large project qualifies for having made good progress, don't you think? Dhiana should be proud, she already told me early this fall to just finish the damn thing. That's been in the back of my mind ever since, Dhiana, and when I hit one of the less productive phases, it's nagging me (by the way, great nagging job!!! and even though it sounds weird, it really is meant as a compliment, it has kept me motivated when I needed it most, and is your hubby back or is he still on the road?) Tonight I'm taking a break though, as I get to teach a class for my advisor on Friday so he can celebrate his Mum's 89th Birthday. I now have (!) to watch "Gladiator." (yeah terrible prospect for this evening, okay, kidding about that one) Haven't seen it, but should at least watch the beginning of it, so that I can pull out some stuff on historical authenticity and Roman warfare/attituded towards Germanic people etc. along with a book the students have to read (Tacitus's _Germania_ at least I'm familiar with that.) One day I will have to thank the film industry for making teaching so much more fun for me, either through their really cool, but also sometimes completely "screwed up" representation of things medieval, but for teaching purposes "Excalibur" is still my most favorite film!!!

Ann and Mysti, I do understand your fear of needles. I have no problem if someone draws blood on me (I have great veins for that), but if I had to do it for someone else, that bothers me. I even volunteered for some of my med student friends and let them practice on my veins. Too bad, that I don't seem to live near you guys, I might let you practice on my veins ...

Ann, I'm glad you are okay after your car accident. I almost got hit the other day by someone who decided that oncoming traffic needed to be ignored while turning . It was darn close and of course I was the one who ended up skidding, because I had to break so hard. I hate skidding! but I'm thankful I didn't hit anything, even though it would have been their fault.

Peter, 100 F sounds great!!! much better than barely making it to 0F but it's the wind chill that's killing us right now, which during the day is around -20 and tonight well below -30 F. That's just too f***ing cold, if only we had some snow, I could at least go skiing. That might make it more bearable, but nope, absolutely no snow for us. So can we share weather, you send some of the warm temps our way and I'll send you some cooler temps???? PLEASE!!! :-) and I'm glad you are feeling better. Back pain is one of the more annoying kinds of pain, I think so anyway. I also like your philososphy. You are absolutely right about making the effort to get out there and be with people. That's one of the things I really miss about not teaching. I met so many different people and got to work and be with them, I love that part a lot.

and on GWTW, I did watch it again, INTENTIONALLY (!) before I moved to the US (Louisiana to be precise) to re-aquaint myself with all the stereotypes about the South and then made it my fun project to see how many of them are still alive and kicking. I know, totally unfair, but it provided me with endless pleasure. :-) Nope, I will not say more about the results of this "fun study", that forever will have to remain my secret. LOL

Okay, off to watching Gladiator. I hope it's not too brutal, I do want to sleep tonight ... have a great day/evening everyone!

Evelyn, Nice to hear from you. I'll slit ya 50/50 on the temperature! (You can keep the wind chill for sure, yep, too f****n cold - we don't get a whole lot of that here, thank God.)
I'm going riding again this arvo. Starting to get a tiny bit of condition back. Should be ready to "hammer it" soon. Yay. Onwards and upwards.

Hope it snows for you.
Peter

A BBQ sounds good, Grandma, say when!!!!
Tim - I live just south of Chattanooga, Tennessee in a little town near Ringgold. If you remember hearing about the crematory fraud thingy, that was like in my back yard.....too close. My boss's mother, brother, and mother-in-law were all sent there. It was awful.
Mysti - Imagine the look on my face when I walked in and found my 13 year old son, looking at the vaginal birth section of my husband's First Responder's training manual....:O He looked at me and said, "GROSS, MOM, IS THAT WHAT IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE!"
Whitney - thanks for the advice, but I guess i will have to pass....if I screw up on a written test, only myself and the instructor knows, but If i screw up an oral test, everybody knows. That's life...LOL
Dhiana - people can be so crazy....My husband is with the fire department and he sees lots of crazy things, (like the time, a woman shot herself in the chest and when he got there she was in the bathtub screaming, "it hurts, it hurts" and he said, "well, duh, didn't you think it was going to hurt when you did it"). Some things are terrible tho and he doesn't like to talk about it. Life is full of crazy things.

And, another day has went by and still no word on my truck....oh, well.
Every one, have a good day, or good night whatever the case may be.
Ann

Good evening all, finally got the chance to catch up with everyone. I've been a bit busy at work, and too tired to visit. Also fighting a terrible head cold and tonsilitis. Yea, I know I'm too old to have tonsils, but my folks didn't think I needed mine out when at the age of 8, everyone I knew spent the summer having their tonsils removed and feasted on ice cream for a week.
Grandma Millie, Congrats on the 70th birthday. We surprised my MIL in Phoenix on her 70th several years ago. We did it again on her 75th and don't know what the guys will do for her on her 80th in 2 years. She has been trying to get the whole bunch to go to Cancun, but I won't travel outside the continental US right now. Again, Happy belated Birthday and a wish for many more.
I will go spend next Tuesday with my mother and help her celebrate her 72nd birthday. She doesn't want us to make a big fuss, so will take her more mums to put in the yard this spring.
Paul, sounds like you are encouraging us to take the bull by the horns as we say here in Texas. I guess I'm not as aggressive in some areas as I should be and too much so in others. Though I've never been one to follow and being a leader really means stepping up to responsibility. Never was one for the latest fad(unless it was the miracle cure for weight loss and I guess I've tried them all), hemlines have never varied more than 2 inches up or down, I did have my share of bell bottoms, but not to the degree they are now. I do feel most days I'm walking my own path, but work, bills, car and house payments do make you sing "I owe, I owe, so off to work I go" and then I feel I've left the path and am lost in the woods forever.
To all out there who are in need of one, here's a hug ((())) for all of you.
Ann and Mysti, stay away from me with sharp objects, ie needles. I don't like them and avoid them like the "Plague". Mysti, get the pun?
I have veins that roll and are therefore very hard to stick. The only shots I've had in years has been for the flu and my DH goes with me to make sure (1) that I don't back out and (2) that I don't pass out. Yep that's me Scardy Cat. I still have visions of Nurses and hospital staff chasing me thru the hospital for penicillin shots at the tender age of 4 or 5. It was the last time my dad ever took me to the doctor.
Well the NyQuil has finally gone to work, so will get off here and go to bed.
Hope this finds everyone well and having a really good week.
Hugs all around,
Sherrlyn

Ann
I know exactly where Ringgold is. WHY? No I'm just kidding. Everyone has a reason to live where they do. It' a choice. I know. If you ever come to Atlanta to Shop...you should call me we could meet for coffee or something. I only live a few minutes from Lenox Square and Phipps Plaza...(it's the IT malls in Atlanta..Saks Fifth Avenue, Macys, Neiman Marcus, Lord & Taylor and let's see Bloomingdales is coming to Lenox I think and then all the trendy boutiques..Gucci, Versace...)
I wanted to comment about not limiting our outside contacts. Or however it was denoted. I firmly believe that you cannot have a complete life without warm bodies around you that you can call friends and even people to talk to in general. I would never tell someone to exclude themselves from the outside world. I have to deal with people I've never met before daily and then I have to make them happy before they write a check for $200. A little stress to that. Enjoyable but a little stress. But I approach it from a friendly standpoint and it usually works well. I do cherish the friendships on the board. This is a diverse group of people. We came together because we have a common interest. Which is NOT so easy to find out there on the street. Here we all have an interest in Paul's talent, his passion for his family, his kindness and humility by sharing his life with us, and his love of the journey of life. We therefore benefit in mutual exchanges that are uplifting and critical sometimes. But we share those feelings openly because we know we can.
The people that are my clients only want to hear that I'm doing well. They live in the $500,000 to over $1,000,000 homes and they don't want to hear about my money problems. They probably think my house has wheels. They don't want to KNOW me. My wifes church people don't want to KNOW me. The people I work with only care about me as long as I work with them. We were apart for about a year and I only talked to them once. I wouldn't give up their friendship at work, but that's all it is. I have friends at dance, but I only see them once a week. That's it.
In summary I think it is EASY to come here and enjoy the commaradarie. I think it takes WILL and GUTS to go to work and deal with new faces everyday. Every morning I STEP UP to the plate and face a new day. Hoping that something wonderfully life changing will occur. But I don't hold my breath. The odds are not in my favor. But I am assured that while I work or do whatever I do, I must give it everything I have to enjoy positive results and therefore get to laugh a little. I'm known for work as the one that laughs. I laugh all day. The clients love it. My peers love it. I'm told I have a very very contagious laugh. I can come out of the breakroom where the girls are telling the dirtiest jokes you'll ever hear and I've laughed my ass off so hard my throat is sore. As I'm walking back into the main salon the patrons at the bowls will say Tim you were cracking me up.
That oddly enough makes me feel good.
So
STEP UP everybody and have a great day. MAKE IT ONE.

Timbo

Hey everyone!! hope your all having a fantistic week!! Grandma I love u!!!! glad your doing so great!! and you too Evelyn, take care!
Whitney, hope your headache feels better! Love ya

Tim, I was in Atlanta for New years but only for a couple of days! I saw the macy's but never got to go shopping there!! never knew there was a sac's fifth ave. thats a good store! we stayed at the Embassy which was a really great hotel! and we went to hard rock cafe there! loved Atlanta and so cannot wait to go back! take care
Love to all! i have to go looks like Im getting snowed in at my house and the news is saying no school tomorrow!! stay warm!!
Kels

Tim, It's a great pity that those clients of yours don't extract their heads from their expensive rears long enough to listen to you. I'm sure that they would enjoy it immensely, if they were only capable, or would allow themselves. They're probably to deeply embroiled in their own self-deception to notice anything of real value. Pity for them. It surely is their loss.
I only have three (corporate) clients, who I see for less than 5% of my total working time. It gets a bit quiet, but it's productive. I wish that I had some girls to tell me some dirty jokes. I'm envious. Women are the most prolific dirty joke tellers, don't you think? Or is it just that we notice it more?
I understand your joy in conversing on this site.
It's so very positive and I'll go as far as to describe it as nurturing in many respects.
It's a great bunch of nice people.
And yes, it was most definitely Paul's fantastic example of talent and exuberance that led me to take a first peek here too. Once here, he continues to inspire in everyday kinds of ways with his genuine humanity. I can't imagine many others in his position doing that, can you?
I hope you find empathy, understanding, pleasure, fulfilment and great joy in all of your conversations, here and elsewhere.
Still loads of work to do. Sanity break is over. Time now to hook in again.

Cheers to all.
Peter

ah..the weather!!
me, i'll take it warm - well okay warm, windy, dusty! well okay, hot, windy, dusty - west texas weather...but not today...it's cOld!!!

whit - sorry about your car; BUT someone stealing your SB video!!!! Well on a positive note - it'll be another new fan for m'curio!!

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Hi Paul, and everyone.

Millie, at 38, I'm not to young to enjoy Nelson Eddy and Jeanette Macdonald!! I love them! I think I've seen 5 or 6 of their movies. Just love the oldies. I always told my friends that I was born 50 years to late. I just love the old movies and their stars. Clark Gable, Gary Cooper,
Spencer Tracy, Robert Taylor,et al. Yum Yum.
Evelyn, wasn't it you that was going to see Gladiatior? Russell Crowe WOW!!! Hey, Where's that cute Paul Mercurio? Hmmmmmm??!!! I know he'll be up there soon!!!

Tim, I've been thinking about you a lot these past couple of days. I agree with you that the Jehovah"s Witnesses are a cult. Their's is a "works" based faith. The amazing thing about Christianity is that it's the only faith who's God offers salvation as a FREE GIFT. God only desires a personal relationship with us. By reading His Word, and fellowshiping with other believers, and most especially through prayer, our direct "red phone" to God. The closer our relationship to Jesus, His Son, the more we become like Him. Our hearts change, our attitudes change, or philosophies change, we want to be pleasing to and right with God. I know that this sounds a little preachy. I hope that I hve not offended anyone. I know that the good people who post here with Paul come from all faiths and economic backrounds. Such a wonderful and diverse group. Do I think that you can live a good and moral life without Christ? Yes. My husband is the perfect example. He's a sceptic. Totally. He's an electrical engineerd. A real scientist. He's a wonderful man. Don't get me wrong. The kids and I pray for him every day.
So much for that.

Tim, you also mentioned some indescretions you made a while ago and wheather or not to tell your wife. Are you nuts? Man!!!! What would it benifit her to know this information? Would it better her impression of you? I think not. If she were looking for a way out, this would most defintaly qualify. Unless you have contracted something contagious, that would be the only way I would let her know. Carry that burden alone. If you've asked forgivness from God and know that it won't happen agian. That's my advice. Not that you asked for it....

Peter, what the heck does ADF stand for? Dhiana, I love to read your posts. You really crack me up. I love the one about the kids crawling into bed with you and cracking themselves up while deep in sleep. I've had that happen many times. Really funny. Except when you're really tired.

I'm up for a BBQ. My best friend lives in North Carolina. Not to far.

All my best...

Love,

Margie

Margie, ADF stands for "a distant friend". It was a spur of the moment creation at my first visit.
I never intended to visit again, (but I got "sucked in"), so it was a good way of retaining my anonimity. But I let it slip to Paul that I had in fact met him, so I thought it was only reasonable to reveal (to him) who I was (a passing brief aquaintance from his previous place of residence, more or less).
So that's it... nothing exciting... sorry if it's an anticlimax. Maybe you thought it stood for something famous, or important (like Spiderman or the Queen of England). Again I disappoint. Damn.

Peter

Sherrlyn, ROTF about your 'plague' pun! That was great!

On socializing with people around us...I am, admittedly, NOT the world's best at this. I tend to be somewhat quiet around people I don't know well, and it takes me a long time to warm up to them. There is the constant wondering of what these people make of me, and (more importantly to me), and I coming across to them in the manner I intended? Am I making at least a somewhat good impression...or do I look like a complete idiot? These kinds of thoughts are constantly bombarding my mind in social situations. On the flip side of that coin, I also think it is important to learn to interact with the world around you, to deal with people in interpersonal relationships, to make friends and acquaintences and just be friendly in general. Many of life's successes and triumphs tie into one's ability to do just that. For me, the challenge is reconciling the two sides of that coin...to make the introvert be a little more outgoing. Overcoming that fear of rejection and judgement and replacing that perception with that of possibilities and opportunities.

Why is this so much harder to do in person than online? For me, the answer is pretty simple - anonymity. In person, the other party has a chance to immediately judge many more aspects of me - right off the bat. Online, I can slow down the exposure rate, slowly letting down the fences as I begin to feel more comfortable, which is not a luxury afforded in face-to-face contact. The drawback to online contact, however, is that it is a lot harder to "get a feel" for a person or a situation, therefore making it more difficult to get close to people. As with most thing, there are pros and cons to each. Someone online can't take one look at me and say, "what a freak!", but it's awfully hard to hug a computer...

So what am I saying? (HA, good question, I'm about to lose myself! I know what I WANT to say but it sure is hard to condense it, especially at 2 in the morning!) I think that both online and face-to-face contact are valid and important forms of communication with the "world" around me. While I do think it's important (and valuable) to get to know the people around me, I also know that there is a lot I would have missed out on if not for my online "world" (like all of you wonderful people!). As ever, balance is the idea.

Have a great night, everyone!

Mysti

Mysti, Yes, I understand. The anonymity can be liberating. No need to perform, just say your piece, in your own time. Nice.

Exactly you guys. Balance. The online experience lets you figure people out slowly. Kind of like dating a long time ago where people dated for quite some time before they hopped in bed together or got married. In the real world you meet somebody and you have about 5 minutes to present yourself with a great first impression and they decide to like you (hop in bed) or dislike you. From that point on it's an uphill climb to get to know them better, either digging yourself out of a hole or you started on great ground to begin with.
That's another thing about this board I like, we can post pictures of ourselves. We are not completely anonymous unless we want to keep it that way. I'm still waiting to post my before and after's. A little suspense..but don't get worked up over it. It's not going to make the cover of Men's Health.
As for religious cults etc. As I've mentioned earlier after my mother died I questioned every thing I'd ever been taught and told. I questioned why I was married. Which ultimately lead to a breakdown in our communication for sometime. I wouldn't call my self a Christian. In all my years I've never even read the entire bible. I did read the first part though when I was a kid. Like I mentioned my favorite parts were included the story of Joseph and Benjamin. Sodom and Gomorrah. I think I live there. I guess I feel more like an agnostic. Well sort of. I can't imagine that a superior being made this whole solar system and all its intricacies and including humans, but I'm not sure why. For all I know (and it may sound far fetched) our solar system is just an ant farm that belongs to some form of higher beings. They can watch us go crazy. Look Look the little guys over here are going to blow up the ones over there...I hope they don't do it I'd have to rebuild the ant farm.
When you lose your initial faith system you can go way out there with your thoughts. Which is rewarding in it own way. You learn from it. You get to test out ideas that may have otherwise been taboo. Off limits.
As always, it's great to post.
Later.
Tim

Good morning, Whitney,

What??? Your copy of "Strictly Ballroom" stolen???
Obviously, the Crime of The Century!!!

Peter, I have such an interest in anything Australian ever since "Strictly Ballroom" became my fave classic film.

Last year, I wrote to Tara Morice, and she, graciously answered me, with a lovely note, and a signed photo. Then, Paul's personal birthday message to me this week was so wonderful it made me feel like a teenage fan again! Did I swoon?..not exactly, but close! (Gotta watch that blood pressure!)

We used to go to the Outback Restaurant here in Florida, until we found out it was just a ruse, and was really a plain American steakhouse, with pictures of kangaroos hanging on the walls, a menu printed with Aussie slang, and the women's bathroom marked "Sheilas." (Their chicken wings were lousy, too!)

So far, I have been in contact with Paul, you, Tara, and a couple of young women on the staff of the Ensemble Theatre in Sydney, where Tara has performed last spring. My husband and I almost booked a tour to Sydney to see her play, and then see a bit of the country. Our friends have been there, and raved. However, for health reasons, we had to cancel...24 hours by plane, one way! However, conversing on Paul's Corner is the next best thing!

It got very "chilly" here in south Florida, and I was thinking of Caryn up in Cocoa Beach..everyone equates Florida with warmth, water, and hanging out this time of year, and I feel sorry for the visitors.

Cheers, and love,

Grandma

Whit, boy those Mercurio fans will go to great lengths to view Paul. Sad to hear they pinched your copy and broke your car window. Obviously it held more value to them then your pocket book.

Peter, I like the sound of a distant friend. It brings a comforting feeling knowing that there's a friend out there even if they are faraway. Don't lose the ADF. Did you say you have 100F weather? Ooh to bask in the sun! There must be a lot of happy cats out there. We are currently having rain and fog. The last year we had snow here at this elevation was approximately 1976. Now that I think of it Mount Diablo had some last year.

Timbo, It is pleasing to hear you bring laughter into your life and extend it to other around you despite the turbulence that gathers abaft. Laughter is the best medicine!

Dhiana, I enjoyed your sleeping kids story. My son is a sleep walker and also talks in his sleep. Sometimes I'll wake up with that nagging feeling that someone is watching me and he'll be standing beside my bed just looking at me. I just about jump out of my skin! He too laughs in his sleep.

Mysti, I actually have more of a problem expressing myself in writing. Yet I'm the kind of person that will give you a hug when I see you even if it was earlier that day. I'm a good listener. One thing I remember about my father was he would always listen to my point of view and then try to stand in my shoes. It didn't mean he always agreed with my point of view or that he liked my shoes:) My friends said I had the coolest father. They all felt they could talk to him too. Still there are positives to computers and that is meeting people like you.

Ann, Okay bier with me. I'm slow on the posts. Are you studing to be a nurse? If so, in what field?

BBQ, didn't someone offer a few threads back to have a BBQ and fly everyone for Free? Was that you Texas? LOL

Grandma, the Outbacks really suck here too and they are expensive. Plus they didn't have desent beer:)Sounds like a good waste of chicken wings in there.

Time for the kicks Timbo, Whit, Evelyn, KICK.

Paul, once again your shins. Is this working for you? Sounds like it. Great job on your computer sales! Sow sow your garden.

Hugs to everyone

Suz

It's FREEZING OUTSIDE. Running around trying to get my son's information for school and passed by this theater on Broadway and who's picture I happen to see amongst many...Paul's in all his Ballroom getup. I had to do a double take. So dear Paul you are not forgotton on the whiteway.

Peter - "Rug up..." Ha!

Bluedog, I am WITH ya...Ok, picture this boys (you too Sarah UP! ;-p)I get home last night and the digital therm. reads 1.4 degrees F. I freak, and start "rugging up" to go out and try to find, then hook up the chickens' heat lamp that I haven't used since they were chicklets in May. Blue jeans and a t-shirt and sweater, wool socks. Good start! Add a scarf, a fleece jacket, Carhart bib-overalls (those SEXY things that they only make for MEN who apparently don't OWN hips, and whose crotches come up to their armpits from the design I could see), my husband's two sizes too big green Carhart jacket (which stinks like motor oil and whatever-else-it-is that men DO out there in the woodshed with power tools behind closed doors), work gloves, snow boots and a bomber hat (circa: Elmer Fudd). WHOA! What a SEX-pot! My freaking DOG didn't even recognize me coming back across the road from the mail box...the bastard actually GROWLED at me and I was like, "HEY! It's your MOTHER, you IDIOT!" He immediately recognized that tone of voice and looked much chagrined.

ANYWAY, I had to get that get-up on to go out and try to squeeze myself into a very small area between the chicken coop and the house so I could feed an electrical wire through a hole (previously drilled, thank the Stanley Gods, for this occurance) into the coop, then go disturb the ladies from their resting places while I farged around with the electricity for a half hour. Besides the fact that now my chickens are positive they live in Oz now (the light was on all night), they were warmer and I slept better.

Yes, my husband could come home ANY FREAKING DAY NOW! (He'll be back Saturday night. Hopefully. Wah.)

BBQ...
Hey Anne, I have in-laws in Tullahoma, Tenn.

Tim, my husband's best friend lives in Atlanta. (Um, oh crap...in the "collegiate, trendy" section. He lives in a warehouse converted into condos. COOL place, but has his car in a chainlink, locked area. Bleck. I'd rather take the coyotes of NY country life. I'll think of the area.) So, hey! Let's let this weather pass and have ourselves a DANDY party!

Suz-I'm sure your son's sleep walking can be QUITE disconcerting. We keep the doors locked at night, not due to intruders, but so the five yr old doesn't try to escape during one of his rovings. I swear that kid can be talking TO you, hearing what you say, but still be dead asleep. He wandered around a lot when he was younger, but now I think he's too dog-tired from being a full-time Kindergardener.

Oh, Sherrlyn, veins that roll...STOP STOP STOP!!! I can't TAKE it! ugh. shivers. slight over-reactions. But yuck!

(Hi Margie!)

I have two nights left before the man comes back for good. I'm getting a cold, so KNOW I won't be up watching cool movies (jealous jealous jealous) and I have to take our evil cat to the vet to see why she's ailing. (I think she has skin allergies, my husband thinks she's on death's door, so off I go!) and have to stop at the hardware and pick up a RED bulb for the chickens 'cause the one I have is white and it was lit up like a French whorehouse all night long. (NOT that I've ever BEEN to one of those establishments, I just like the analogy.) ;-)

And Evelyn, nice MOUTH! hahahahaha...totally busting ya...it IS as you said. Damnit. ;-)

For my LAST words of wisdom today:
Why worry about what others think of you? If you fail yourself, that's one thing. But others? Esp. those who REALLY don't matter (co-workers, the guy on the elevator who walked in after you farted, etc) Sorry, I just bust out laughing at you guys reading that. lol

Tata,
Dhi

Yes, Dhiana,

You did indeed make me laugh out loud!!!!!!!

Thankx

Margie

It is freakin scary cold here as well! And me, without beer...I was sick this past weekend and my better half finished off the last of the Coopers. Better no more!!!

Paul, is the Pale Ale the best of the Coopers products? It was sooooo good.

Tim, have you read The Road Less Traveled? It has an awesome section on Growth and Religion that talks very specifically about tossing out everything you thought you believed and beginning a new journey. Cool book.

Happy Birthday Week Grandma Mildred!!! I'm sure the stars are twinkling brighter just to celebrate the fact that YOU are part of the universe.

Time to thaw out the car again,
Michelle in Chicago

Dear Grandma Millie,
(At 70, you're way too young to be my Grandma. My own mum is 76, and even my genetic mother is 63, though she tells everyone she's 55!).

Sorry to disappoint, but we don't see a great many kangaroos hopping around the streets, though, you will sometimes see them in the bush, if you're lucky. Possums and wombats too!
And, I wouldn't dare call any woman I know a "shiela". Strangely enough, I have met a lady whose name really is Shiela!
The "classic" overseas perception of Australia is probably a little off the rails. Movies like Crocodile Dundee and Priscilla certainly do capture a glimpse of the Aussie spirit and sense of homour, but it's usually the "interesting" extremes that are portrayed, for entertainment's sake (classic "fish out of water" situation). Isn't it always the way? We are probably somewhere in between the European, English, Asian and American cultures, though exactly where, tends to vary greatly from place to place. Australia can be a fascinating country in which to live. It is diverse both in geography and culture. It ranges from lush rainforests to hostile deserts. As you no doubt know, most of the population migrated here in the last two hundred years or so, with a massive post war migration in the early 50's, mostly from Europe. I myself am from European extraction. Dalmatia to be precise. Has anyone seen it on a map? It's on the Adriatic. Blink and you'll miss it. It's now part of Croatia (east), but for a very long time it was a state of Austria, hence the heavy Austrian-based genetic stock.
Yes, we are nearly all new visitors here in Oz.
We're also pretty advanced here now. In fact, many homes now have electricity, which is great because I finally got to trade in my old kerosene powered television! LOLOLOLOL!!!
Hope you enjoy further visions of this "wide brown land" as one of our own poets, Dorothea Mackella, once described it. It's a nice place. (No doubt I'm biased).

Best regards,
Peter

Dear Peter,

Oh, how you do go on, making me feel sooo good about being 70! Actually, as I told my husband Elliott, it was perhaps the most memorable of all my birthdays...(maybe that's because I can't remember the others.)

I loved your "tour" of Australia. Most people think that "Crocodile Dundee" is representative of the whole country. It certainly is a young country among the nations of the world, and like other countries, immigrants came to find a new life, and found discrimination instead.

In "Strictly Ballroom" Fran did not use her last name, because she was a young Spanish woman,("just Fran") among all the Anglo-Saxons in Kendall's Dance Studio. She certainly had many obstacles in her way..a minority heritage, a bad complexion, and a female dance partner for two years! No wonder everyone was cheering for her (and Scott) at the end!

Baz Luhrmann certainly knew his Australian history, with its discrimination toward minorities. It was ironic that it was the Spanish rhythms of the paso doble that won the Pan Pacifics!

An interesting note: Tara Morice was nominated for "best actress" by the Australian Film Institute and the British Film Institute. She lost to Emma Thompson ("Howard's End") in 1992. Tara deserved the accolades, and so did Paul..their quiet scenes together were so beautiful and poignant.

I read an interesting college thesis on the topic of Australian movies that had themes of the ugly duckling-to beautiful -swan syndrome. The three movies were "Strictly Ballroom", "Muriel's Wedding" (with Toni Collete) and "My Brillant Career" (with Judy Davis). I may be able to find the website if anyone is interested...it was fantastic!

So, you can see, Peter, I adore the Aussies, and believe it or not, my husband also loves Paul and Tara, but his secret favorite is Gia Carides, (Liz Holt) for obvious reasons!!!

Cheers, everyone!

Grannie Millie

....to Michelle in Chicago...what a lovely thought in honor of my birthday! Thank you, darling!

Grannie

Speaking of our dear friend not being forgotten...a friend of mine sent me a link to a site featuring nude shots from movies (she's a whole other story..maybe later). Well, guess who made the list? Yes Paul your posterior is in a screen grab online for your posterity, (or perhaps mine) to enjoy. I'm sorry if my bringing this to light bothers you. I just thought it was funny.

Peter, the cold air mass is on its way, I just mentally pushed it your way. I hope it works, for both of us, but of course mostly for purely selfish reasons that I no longer can state or else Dhiana will bust me again. Kind of wonder why she didn't bust you, too, since you used the same phrase. Let's both scold Dhiana a bit, just for pure amusement. Are you game???? and perhaps, to appease Dhiana after we scold her, you and/or I could let her have some of the hot air your sending this way. And I actually think that your ADF is a great "coded" abbreviation, much better than a reference to the Queen, nope, I have no problem with her, the British Royal Family holds my interest a bit more than I wish it did (perhaps, b/c it's really more German than British???? Upps, don't tell them I said so, but it's true nonetheless). Also very nice sales pitch for your country and, not meaning to brag, I do know where Dalmatia is, however, didn't know that it was part of Austria at some point in time. Not a bad part of Europe, if I may say so. You kind of make want to live in the great land of OZ now, any suggestions for that purpose????

Dhiana, I laughed so hard about all the clothes you put on, of course b/c I'm doing similar things, many layers, exposing as little skin as possible, and my head dress is inspired by Arab sheiks, only warmer materials and then when it's really cold, the buka headcovering idea comes in handy ... getting the picture? -- Scold, scold, scold .... Glad your hubby is coming back!!!

Whitney, yesterday I blanked, sorry about your car, that's so annoying, but then taking the movie .... what's wrong with people???

Grandma, what other celebrations have you participated in for your BIG 70? You said you'd take me up on celebrating more than just one day . :-) I hope you are and that you are thoroughly enjoying yourself.

Paul, how are you doing? How's having guts and stepping up going, living in the now going? I hope all is well & fantastic!

Okay, back to prepping for the class tomorrow. Of course I'm looking forward to it and boy the battle scene at the beginning of "Gadiator" is pretty darn amazing (okay, I don't like battles and it's pretty gruesome, but just what they did with this, sound, angles, acting etc. pretty cool!) Should make for an interesting class, I hope!

Love to all, stay warm (if you are in freezing temps) or cool (if you are in hot ones) and just be happy and love life and living. My goal for myself anyway....
Evelyn

Grandma Millie,
Very perceptive of you re the ethnic "opression"
thing, but I guess it's an obvious theme in SBR.
It's real though. I know. Perhaps less today?....not sure..., but real nonetheless. Baz Luhrmann would have to be blind or stupid to not be aware of it. Growing up in a small country town of people predominantly from Engish speaking backgrounds presented certain challenges for a "wog" like me. Are you familiar with that term?
It's a derogatory expression used to describe persons originating from places other than Britain. I scored a triple whammy by being a wog, poor and adopted (throwaway - social outcast!). Shame, shame. That put me firmly at the bottom of the social scale, at least for a time.
Not that I give a hoot now, but it WAS real then.
I just had to compensate by being a little smarter on my feet than the others. It helps us to "fit in".

I believe that the ugly duckling syndrome has a little bit to do with the Aussie psyche, in that there is a legacy of being reminded that we are inferior, compared to dear mother England. Mind you, the success of this naton was literally borne out of adversity and adaptation (sounds corny but it's true). I believe it's that spirit which lifts us as a nation (choking with national pride, splutter, splutter,..).
But seriously, there is a firm belief that we can rise to the occasion when required/desired. It's good, it's reassuring.

I genuinely agree with you regardling the accolades deserved by Tara & Paul. The flm was unashamedly popular in its' targetting, but cerainly not lightweight. I myself was moved by it immensely (and some genuine empathy there, too). Lot's of different kinds of people love that film, for loads of reasons. In my opinion, it would not have had the same impact without THOSE TWO LEADS.
They made that film, no argument.

Evelyn, I'm not game to scold Dhiana.... she's too tough for the likes of me.
Regarding royal families, I just can't understand the royalty/class system bit. It has no basis in logic. Not that i'm an anti-royalist in any way. They are probably lovely people (for the most part), it's just that I'm not really pro-royal either. And yes, I'm aware of the Germanic origins of the British Royal family....SHHHHH!....let's keep it secret.
Just consider, if you did decide to emmigrate to Australia, then you'd be a wog too! Don't worry, there are several million of us. Some of us even have jobs and own property.

Wow! You guys have been posting like crazy! I'll try to catch up soon.
Whit

Since we're getting all of these questions about Australia answered, there's something I've always wanted to know. I understand the lyric "where the beer does flow", but what does "and men chunder" mean? Is this something I would enjoy?

A girl needs to know these things!
Sweet Dreams,
Michelle in Chicago

Michelle, "Chunder" lterally means: VOMIT.
I don't know that you would enjoy it very much!

Scold Dhiana with the "h" in her name? No and hell no! Gotta go with ADF on that Evelyn..She's too tough! She even scared her Newfy!!!! Would have liked to see that get-up she had on though -Pretty interesting look I'd bet...

and just WHERE is sarah UP?

I'm so far behind!

Thanks texas. I hope the card therapy works for all those who try it.

Evelyn, you've probably posted since you mentioned having to watch Gladiator. I hope you enjoyed it; I did.

It's colder than a well digger's ass here in WV. Please Peter, send that warm air to me too!

Ann, I think the oral test is private. I wouldn't want to take a test for an audience either!

Sherrlyn, I have my tonsils too. I used to suffer from terrible bouts of tonsilitus (sp?) when I was a kid, probably because of second-hand smoke. Both of my parents were very inconsiderate heavy smokers. I continued to have occasional bouts of it until I gave up cigarettes 15 years ago. Thanks for the hug!

Hey Timbo, I'm glad you have the capacity to keep laughing. I wish you could make us an mp3 or a little wave file of your laughter. It would undoubtably cheer everyone up. And I'm glad you're hanging onto that optimism. Success could be just around the corner!

Thanks for your concern Kels (cool nic name). My headache's better and I love you too!

Peter, I may be one exception to the rule in the joke dept. I love them, but I always louse them up in the telling.

bluedog, thanks for your condolences on the car and video. It turns out that the library won't make me pay for the missing stuff if I supply a police report. Who knows who'll end up with that movie, but one thing is sure: I agree, Paul will have a new fan!

Margie, thanks for sharing your take on Christianity. It sounds like you have the low down. Say a prayer for me please. Would you ask God to send me a partner if possible? One request will do. Thanks. I'll say one for you too. God is supposed to know what we need before we do, but we're supposed to pray anyway. Go figure?

I realize some of you may think I'm not too bright for being a believer, but it's my crutch and I know that. I agree with Thomas Aquinnes (sp?). Why not believe? If your right about it: cool. If you're wrong: no harm done. I think the important thing is to keep questioning. No religious robots!

Tim, I could be so wrong, but I figure that since there are life forms on the planet that are experiencing lower levels of awareness and intelligence, at least in the way we measure, (a dog for example) then there's a good chance that there's something above me on the knowing scale. I'm just guessing of course. And I've never read the whole book either. I prefer the second half.

Yes Grandma, that was a dasterdly deed as they say. Susan D is probably right. They saw SB and couldn't help themselves. It was the library's copy though. I'll make sure they get another one. I hope it warms up in FL soon!

Auset, I'm curious, why was Paul's picture up?

Mysti, I'm an introvert too. I take anti-anxiety meds, but I I seem to have overcome a lot of my social fears with age. I hope you do too.

Dhi, I thought red lights were the international symbol for sex markets? I guess that was in the old days. I'm glad your man will be home soon, you lucky woman!!! Oh, and good advice. I enjoy your posts!

Michelle, the book you mentioned sounds interesting. I'll check it out.

Peter, you're kidding about the electricity thing right?

Grandma, I watched "Muriel's Wedding" and I loved it! You do some interesting surfing! I'm impressed.

Hey Innussiq. I'm sure Paul was the best of the bunch in the booty dept. Where was that site ;)

Thanks for your sympathy Evelyn. Love to you too!

Peter, Australia sounds a little like WV. What a wonderful national attitude! Ok, you and Evelyn have me wondering about this German / Royals connection. Are you gonna' spill the beans?

Ok, I think I'm caught up. I'm sorry this post is so long, but I wanted to respond to everyone I could.

By the way. Where's Paul? Stepping up, no doubt!!!

xoxoxox
whit

Hello to you all at last! We were on holiday for three weeks driving to Florida and back (with thoughts of and waves to you fellow Americans along the way).

I did try to keep up as we travelled, but the Internet connections weren't always great. Then, too, we've been grappling a bit more ferociously with my husband's career lull and the ensuing financial challenges. And, as I explained to Evelyn (who so sweetly emailed me to make sure I was okay), I have been simultaneously wrestling with a host of physiological and mental problems brought about by hormonal imbalances. I've gone "Into the Woods" to quote Sondheim. And now I'm coming out again.

I've just spent the past two hours trying to read through and process the posts I'd missed. I didn't get to the posts immediately prior to this. But what I have taken in has been positive and thought-provoking.

Unfortunately, it's my turn to get up early with the kids, so for tonight I have to be brief.

Dhiana, thanks for the vivid descriptions. I've needed some guffaws.

Peter, what about that giant potato in the Southern Highlands. My husband used to pass it everyday on his way to the "Babe" set. BTW, we love the Crocodile Hunter. What a hoot!

Paul, you are more than welcome to stay with our family in Santa Clarita when you visit L.A. We have two big dogs and two cats and though they make noise and shed like crazy, they're sweet animals. Lodging and food on us. Maybe we can even loan you a car. (And also, screw the agent if they aren't working for you. You can do better and don't waste your time looking back.)

We live a fair distance from the rest of ya'll, but I'll offer a BBQ/Pool Party at our house to all who'll brave the treck.

Tim, congratulations on all of your accomplishments and hard work toward your goals. My husband and I are gearing up for a weight loss program because we're tired of being tired.

Happy Belated Birthday, Mildred. Best wishes for many more!

Among our activities on our driving trip was listening to books on tape. One of these was "What Do You Care What Other People Think? It's a collection of essays written by the late physicist Richard Feynman. For all of his scientific genious, Mr. Feynman was a very down-to-earth man. Still, while working on the atomic bomb at Los Alamos, he would receive silly gifts at work sent by his wife who lay dying in a hospital in Albuquerque and he was embarrassed. When he chided her for making him uncomfortable, she would pose that question to him. She was able to pull him away from his self conscious concern with image and and remind him of what was true and real and he adored her for it.

It's difficult not to wonder what other people think of us because that evaluation seems like a necessary survival skill. But I've started to run Feyman's question through my system every time I ponder the difficulty of paring down and changing course. It's not easy. It sure is humbling. But I remind myself that change and challenge is essential to growth and that I can't let anyone's opinion interfere with that process.

Wishing you all the best!

Diane

Good morning Whitney!

Wow, it's cold in Florida too! I'm sitting with bare feet (pretty dumb, right?) on the cold tile in my computer room! Please, all of you bundle up...I worry about you!

Peter, you certainly had "challenges" in your life as a youngster! You are an inspiration!

Your insights into the history of Australia were extremely interesting, better than any of the articles I have read!

Yes, each of us perceive "Strictly Ballroom" in many different ways. I cringed when some critics,
like Roger Ebert, dismissed it lightly as wild, funny, a comedy, etc., none of which was true!

Tara Morice wrote that the part of "Fran" would always be close to her heart. She said the part was reminiscent of her own early life, being shy, and always the new kid on the block as her family moved often.

Tara should have clinched the best actress award with just this one scene: Scott is chasing her up the ramp at the Pan Pacifics, after she (Fran) has discovered that he is to dance with Liz.

With tears in her eyes, she exclaims angrily, "...hard? hard?...how hard do you think it's been for ME to get you to dance with me in the first place?...Frangipani de la squeegie mop, wash the coffee cups, Fran, how's your skin, Fran..you've got your Pan Pacifics to win, and I'm back in beginners where I belong!"

"Frangipani" was the ultimate insult. The frangipani is a beautiful, flowering plant native to the south Pacific regions, also called "pulmeria." As used in SB by an angry Liz Holt ("watch it, Frangipani!") it was a term of mockery (or) ridicule towards Fran, who, in the beginning, was ungainly, and seemingly unattractive..(get rid of those glasses, girl, and let Shirley sell you apricot scrub and "Island Fantasy"!)

Gotta go and put some socks and sneakers on!

Cheers and love,

Grannie

Thanks for clearing that up for me Peter. Yuck.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I had a dream last night about chickens. They were bathed in a spotlight and clucking along to the song "Hey Big Spender!". Thank you for that Dhiana!

Happy Friday!
Michelle in Chicago

Wow 94 posts!! im gonna have to like catch up soon!

Grandma, Thanks for the insight on SB, I never understood that part, about Fran being called Frangipangi!! I hope your doing well in Florida last night on the news it said that Florida was getting some frost and the strawberry plants were freezing over! still wish I were in Florida though its below 0 here! and I have the terrible flu coming on! :( Take care! lots of love!! grandma! !

Whit, lol im glad ya like the nic name! my family always calls me Kel Kel, or Kelli belly, which when I was little I hated, but i've grown to like it!! and glad that your headache is better! I have a huge one right now! the flu is going around and my head is all puffy! Oh well Im sleeping end and watching SB all day!, fun! Take care!

Stay warm!! love to all!
Kelli

Michelle-in-Chicago, please conjure up those singing chickens so I can put them in my variety show!

Kelli, sweetie, hope you're feeling better..I wish I could send you some hot chicken soup (from those off-tune chickens) to make you feel good!

By the way, "Frangipani" was also used as a play on Fran's name for further insult.."Fran"-gipani..some people are downright cruel!

Ellie and I got our flu shots in October, so hope we will escape that problem this winter. Florida is supposed to warm up to the 70s by the weekend, and frozen strawberries are terrific when thawed out and served with Cool Whip! Wish I could bottle the warmth and send it to all of you!

Stay well, everyone, Grannie says!! Get under the covers, and watch SB to keep warm!

Love,

Grannie

Grandma, I'm SO glad you posted that about the Frangipani! That was the only part of the movie that I just couldn't make out what they were saying...now I know that I wouldn't have understood it anyway! :) You're a regular fountain of knowledge about SB...keep it coming!

Whitney, I think my introvert tendencies are slowly getting better. I had an oral presentation last semester and I was TERRIFIED when I found out we would have to do one. But the whole time I was preparing it, I just kept telling myself, "Hey...what's the worst that could happen?" I never could come up with anything truly life shattering, so I wasn't nearly as nervous as I thought I would be.

That's all for now...I'll try to catch up more later. I'm freezing and a nap under my nice warm electric blanket is sounding better and better!

Mysti

Dhi, Oh, you had me in stitches!! You have a red light district for chickens? A French whore house for chicks? You've probably got the neighbors tongues wagging on how you dress up in disguise (so that not even you dog would know you) . Put a rooster in the shed that will keep them warm. My husband said watch out for Colonel Sanders (KFC). He might turn you in.LOL .Hope your hubs home soon and you haven't frozen yet. Keep warm:) Opps didn't somebody say not to mess with Dhi? I want you to know I did edit some of this.

Whit, Hope your migraine is gone by now. My son and hub share the same birthday month with you. Their b-days are on the 8th and 25th. On the topic of Life's Burning Desire. Grandma Millie said it had to do with Paul's dance group and we could find it on Cat's web. I think it was under dance and there's a clip. Get better soon.

Michelle, no chundering on the posts. LOL. I't's okay I didn't know what it meant either. Thank you Peter for enlightening us. I wouldn't want to ask a man to chunder now!

Grandma Millie, I always wondered what Frangipani meant. I knew it was an insult of some sort. Thanks for filling us in. Your a wealth of knowledge.

Ann, hope you've got that car episode all cleared up.

Caryn,Texas, where are you? Hope you don't have that wicked cold and all is well.

Hi to Kelli, Diana, Ann, Timbo,Sherrlyn,and Mysti,Lynne,Innussiq,Bluedog.
Butt kicks to Tim, Whit, Evelyn.

Shin kicks to you Paul. You must be mad busy with all the shin kick I've given ya. Sow sow your garden.

Hugs to all

SUZ

Aunt Mil.
Thanks for the clarification. I never could understand what they were saying. That's lovely to know all of those details now. It'll make it so much more interesting the next time I watch.

I'm going to have to purchase a copy of The Road Less Traveled. Sounds interesting.

My post may have been a little of earlier. I do believe in a superior being of sorts. I just don't understand why we're here.

Dhi..the trendy section is adjacent to downtown. Georgia Tech backs up to a warehouse district. It's also adjacent to Phillips Arena. All these old warehouses converted into lofts and gallerys. Jane Fonda bought one. Her daughter lieves in another trendy little area behind Turner field called Grant Park. In the 70's it was more like "Trailer trash" park. But they are actually beautiful home built between the late 1800's and the early 1930's. Now they are restored and costs a MINT to buy.

It's cold here in Atlanta today. The chill brought in another piece of bad news for me. Bad business deal that I have to clear up. Another suit. That's why I'm not in business I try to do the right thing and people don't like it.

And my diet...DAMN.
I'm growing a beard to hide the chin(s). Actually one of my clients who is quite the looker told me yesterday I was looking very sexy. I almost fell over. She's beautiful. I asked her if I could have whatever she was on. : )

HEY PAUL>>>
Where are you mate??? We're all stepping up and down and all around...your missing...hope everything is going well. Andrea and the girls are doing well??

I'm going to New York in April for a class at the REDKEN exhange on 5th avenue. What a blast..haven't been to the city in a while. My wife is going with me...who knows maybe a little time alone will be good.

All my best and peace to everyone

Tim

Peter and Bluedog--whimps!!! Dhiana really is not someone to be feared!!! but I'll let it go at that one. Peter, I also agree with what you said about the British Royal family, I think "fascination" wasn't a good word choice on my part, unless I'm refering to the time I was about 10, which I wasn't, today it perhaps stuns me more how the hierarchical structures remain so firmly in place that come with that system/governance, but then quite frankly, which society isn't built on some hierarchies?

Diane, welcome back, I really missed your posts and your insights and I hope things will get easier for you and your family.

Whitney, I haven't finished "Gladiator" yet, I only made it through the first 50 minutes and then kind of experienced crash and burn syndrom (not on account of the movie) and the desire to sleep won out--easily. Perhaps I'll finish it this weekend, although, I kind of want to disappear from "civilization" again and embark on another writing marathon pushing myself towards that finish line. Perhaps this is what my stepping up is at this moment, since I could drag this out until perhaps early April, but I decided for all sorts of reasons, that it's better for me to finish perhaps in the next week or so if I can, putting it off would be easy, but not good.
Teaching today was sooooo much fun!!! The students were on a roll and had fantastic ideas so that made it easy. They rule, and of course my advisor who came up with the idea, he rocks!!! (in more ways than just this one).

Kelli, I hope you will get over the flu a lot faster than I did. hang in there and enjoy the movies.

Mysti, I totally understand that oral exam fear. Teaching has helped me there a great deal, getting more comfortable speaking in front of others in some official capacity, but it gets easier the more often you have done it. These days I go into oral exams with the attitude "I'm going to have fun!!! and I can and am going to kick ass. I do know my stuff and that's all that matters." Sometimes I have to repeat that a few times in my mind, but it helps to get psyched.

So what exactly are we all stepping up to? Several have mentioned this in posts here that they would, without really saying what (unless I missed it). I'm just wondering what that means for you right now ...

Happy Weekend!

Good night, Whitney,

Timbo, glad to hear you and your wife will have some quality time together in the Big Apple! If someone compliments you, accept graciously, and try not to blush! Everyone needs a compliment at least once a day..good for the morale!

Wherefore art thou, dear Paul? I hope everything is okay! We miss you!

I'm glad I cleared up the "Frangipani" problem..
I think the problem was the inability to understand some of the words...after all, it was an Australian movie, with accents, which I just love, but do not always understand.

All I did was use the DVD, turned on the subtitles to the words I did not understand, did some research, and that was that!

Peter, I have a question for you. Do you live in Sydney, or nearby? I believe you told us, but I'm having a senior moment, and don't remember. I know that Paul lives in Melbourne. I have a reason to ask...will let you know that reason later.

For anyone that is interested, the way to log onto that wonderful essay on the ugly-duckling-to beautiful swan-syndrome in Australian movies, just do this: 1)Bring up "Google" 2) in Google Search bar, type in: Australian Cinema Research Essay: "My Brilliant Career..." (You won't have to type anymore.) You will bring up the article. Let me know! It makes good reading on a cold day or night!

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

Love,

Grannie

susan d -- i'm here. it's just that you guys post more often than i get a chance to visit. i'm tryin'. even if i don't post, though, i still read. i'm still interested. yeah, i'm a mercurio thread voyeur -- is there 12-step for that? hell, who wants to be cured of that?

whitney, i don't think any less of you because you're a believer. but don't believe because you're covering all your bases. believe because it's right for you, because you're a better person for believing. i'm guessing you've seen "A Man For All Seasons" about thomas aquinas?? good movie.

i'm off to viennese waltz class. have a WARM weekend everyone. it's a balmy 25 degrees farenheit here in nyc today...practically beach weather compared to the last couple of weeks. comical.

With a little help from my husband, I've just posted my photo on my member page at the Paul Mercurio Yahoo website. I'm not sure how to get it onto the membesr photos page. I guess you do that, right Cat? If not, please advise on how to proceed.

I'm absolutely serious about that invitation, Paul. We don't have a large house, but we could make one of our bedrooms available to you.

As I thought about what you need to make the trip, I was wondering if it might be feasible for you to give a "guest artist" presentation or series of workshops to dance students in L.A.. I'm not sure how that would work, but I remember a visiting artists program when I was a student at the California Institute of the Arts (where I received my BFA). Maybe lining up something like that could help subsidize your trip. Perhaps you and Andrea could team teach. I suppose if you came up with a plan, your agent could inquire at CalArts, UCLA, and elsewhere. It's a thought.

Diane

Diane
What an excellent idea for Paul. Obtain a sponsorship to L.A. or N.Y. and do a workshop. At the same time he could have his LA agent work up some auditions or meetings with directors.

This was an interesting piece I read in Men's Health. It's a diatribe on how to make a comeback. Or how to STEP UP to the plate of life and make things happen.

1. Listen to somebody new. The story goes that John Travolta rejected his turnaround role in Pulp Fiction until Q. Tarantino pointed out to him that playing a smack-adled hit man might jolt his career back to life. He gained a new perspective --bact at the top of the marquee. (HMMMMM)
2. Focus on your Strengths. Was any recent president more of a nonstarter than Jimmy Carter? He wasn't much of a spin doctor or a motivator, and his administration was kind of a doormat for Ronald Reagan. But few men will have obituaries as glowing as Nobel Laureate Carter's in which serving as the president of the United States will be among his lesser achievements. (no political offense to anyone here..it's a quote)
3. Enjoy the Journey. George Foreman lost to Ali in Zaire. Nowhe's teh bald burger-grill pitchman (and they are the bomb by the way) with the big smile and ch championship belt. You never got the sense that heneeded those victories; instead, he was simply enjoying the challenge of coming back.

And two other quotes that motivated me today.
Life is a series of cliisions with the future.

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he beings to blame somebody else.

I just had to share those. I thought they were interesting and great for reflection.

Paul...think about number 1. kind of corresponds to your change in agent. New idea...new thoughts...etc...

And to answer that last question stepping up to what?
For me that would be trying to stay on medications to keep me from becoming suicidal and checking out on bad days. On good days it's focusing on things that I do well and trying to improve them. Hair, my script, my family life.
Additionally trying to find a place where I can do the work I enjoy and maximize my earnings.

Timbo

Hello's and (((HUGS))) to everyone.
Grandma, thanks for the information on that part of the movie....could not understand what in the world she was saying.....thanks bunches.

Tim - thanks for the coffee invite....If I'm ever down that way.....

Susan D - I am actually going to start college this year to get my RN degree....cant wait. I am 31 and just now deciding to do this....i guess better late than never. I did get my estimate on my truck...it is going to cost $2800 to fix my truck. Not cool.....thank God for insurance.

Dhiana - I would have loved to have seen your outfit. I have relatives in Nashville, I'm not sure where Tullahoma is....

Whitney - sorry to hear about your car...and your SB movie....:( I, too, will be praying for you a partner....one that God would have you to have. Those are always the best kind.

Paul - Since I am kinda new to this board thingy, I went back and read some of the earlier posts to see what you would have to say. I think that it is real neat that you take time out in your busy life and have this board to communicate with different people. We sometimes tend to forget that actors/actresses, musicians, entertainers, etc. are real people too, who have real problems, and real lives just like us. It's nice to have someone like you, take the time out to remind us that you are a person, too. I hope that you and your family is doing well. May I ask, I noticed that all three of your daughters name's begin with the letter "E", was that just coincidence? I have a Erin, but he's a boy and I spell it AARON. My daughter, Krysten, sends you a hug. She is a big fan.
Take care everyone....

Those two quotes...too many typos..try again.

Life is a series of collisions with the future.

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.

that reads better.

timbo

Diane, You're talking about the Big Spud at Robertson..... (cringe). Ah what an inspiration!

Grandma, I didn't really have that many challenges as a youngster..., not really,..I feel very fortunate that I was put in a place where I was protected and loved. It easily could have been far worse for me, particularly if my birth family had kept me, but that would never have happened (strict culture).
The cultural (wog) thing is true, but it's more of a joke than anything else. There was never any hatred, only a feeling of superiority by a minority of others. I was easily & successfully able to deal with that. No problems, no big deal really, at least not for me.
BTW I live about 110km from Sydney, in the bush.

Dear Peter,

The reason I asked how far you lived from Sydney, is because there is an exciting event coming up on Tuesday, February 13, 6:15 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.,
at the Australian National Maritime Museum in Sydney.

It is the preview of the film documentary, called "The Ordinary Mermaid" depicting the life of the great Australian Olympic swim champion, Annette Kellerman (1898-1975. The narrator of this film is our own TARA MORICE!

The blurb on this event mentions: "...this film documentary depicts the life and writings of this remarkable woman, a beauty queen, swimmer, and athlete. The film has amazing archival footage of Kellerman's amazing career. Don't miss this vibrant, lucious, and effervescent celebration of a wonderful Australian who rose from a crippled childhood to become one of the greatest stars of her time." (MGM made a lush movie of Kellerman's life, called "Million Dollar Mermaid" starring Esther Williams.)

There will be wine and cheese served during the festivities, and I wouldn't be surprised if Tara attends, but who knows? The price is: $15.50 for a guest, $12.50 for a member...at those prices, Tara SHOULD show up! (oh, wouldn't I love to be a fly on the wall...)

I hope that eventually this film will go to Australian television, and even come over to the U.S. public television!

Paul, this film would be most inspiring for children and adults! Annette was in show biz in all aspects, and I would suspect the footage of film on her is amazing!

Cheers, and love,

Grandma

Dearest Peter and Paul,

I had a senior moment...again. The preview date of the film "An Ordinary Mermaid" is THURSDAY, (not Tuesday) February 13th, 2003.

Pardone mi,

Grandma

Paul, after re-reading Diane's suggestion to you, which were excellent, a thought came into my brain..it is so simple, I wonder why it didn't occur to me before..(another senior moment!)

In the large retirement communities, here in Florida, former stars of stage, screen, etc., come to entertain the seniors, for a nice fee! The performances are given in big theatres, like ours, and the acts are handled by agencies, who just get tapes from the stars to check out the acts and then sell the acts to the recreation depts. of each community.

One agency around here is the Bobby Breen agency. He was a child star in Hollywood years ago, and now runs his own booking agency. He's making a damn good living from booking our community only!

Sometimes an act is the opening act, and the star act is second. We've had singing groups, dance groups, comedians, etc., and the pay for the main act could be very lucrative, especially if there is name recognition, which you have!

Then, clubs hire entertainers to perform at the conclusion of their meetings. I am president of The Entertainers, and my program chairman has hired entertainers who perform for less than an hour, and get $150 or more per performance. We have over 100 clubs in our village alone!

The main season for all this activity are the winter months in Florida, but there is always something going on throughout the summer too.

Is it possible for you and Andrea to work up an act together? I could find out the names of talent agencies that book these acts. They would only want a tape of your act...no auditions in person, etc.

The seniors ADORE the young entertainers, and you and Andrea, because of who you are, would be a gigantic hit!

Love,

Grandma

Thanks granny mil...now i know all the words to SB - I'd watched that segment over and over - never could catch the phrase and now i know i never would have!!!

Why didn't I listen to the sub-titles on the dvd?
Ah, there it is!!! What a sorry brain i have to work with!! I've watched all the other segments on the dvd, but never thought to watch and read at the same time.......

ok now - 'fess up - who knows all or most of the words to SB?

Good morning Grandma Millie! I didn't know what Frangipani was either. How clever of you to turn on the English subtitles. Still you teach!
The Annette Kellerman movie sounds interestng. I'll have to learn more about this person. It amazes me everytime I hear of a "famous" person I've never heard of.

I sure didn't know what Chunder was! Thanks for filling us in Peter! I'm glad to hear things were good for you and that you ended up with a wonderful family!

Hey bluedog, I too was surprised I didn't think of using the subtitles to decipher the dialog! But don't put yourself down! Grannie has a few years on us and contrary to traditional beliefs about getting older, studies indicate that you can really learn and even raise your IQ at every stage of life! Just think how much she must know!!!!

Well, my dog really must go OUT. I've made him wait way too long.

I hope to post again soon. I really enjoy coming here. You guys are great!

I've requested that Richard Fenyman (sp?) from the library Diane. It sounds very interesting. I noticed another book that he wrote before that one. Sort of a prequel.

Kelli, I hope your flu will be short lived.

Hey Mysti. I remember speech 101 in college. My face would turn red and I spoke a mile a minute everytime I got up. When I was a little kid my yardstick of difficulty was death. I asked myself: "Is this going to kill me?". Everything else paled in comparrison, even a spanking!

Suz, thanks for filling me in on that. I sort of remember something about it from a post. I'll check it out. Thaks for the kick! I'm still working out and aerobisizing.

I guess stepping up for me, would be doing more sculpture and arranging more exhibits of my work Evelyn.

Don't worry texas. It's a more personal experience than the referrence to that philosophy made you think. In fact, my parents didn't just automatically have my sister and I baptized when we were little. We were encouraged to wait until we felt a genuine urge to perform this ritual. I just mention the aquinnes statement to provide a potential path for the people who can't make the leap. However, for me the basic laws of the Bible are good rules for healthy living and this would be enough reason for me to do my best to comply. I welcome the wise traditions of every belief system, but my heart belongs to God for all the right reasons.

I want to go to Viennese waltz class! I think I'm experiencing envy!

Diane that is so kind of you to offer Paul the use of your home for a visit! And your suggestions are great! Unfortunately, his day job is probably keeping him from taking you up on it. And he has children too.

Please stay on those meds Timbo. We want you here with us and you know the saying: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.". I was reminding myself of that one the other day and I heard myself answer back, "yeah, the temporary problem of being alive!". However, we can't throw in the towel Timbo. Just remember that you aren't alone. Have a great time in NYC. Maybe something wonderful is waiting for you there. One cool thing about living is that life is full of surprises. I think you're due. And please don't give up on the weight loss thing. Take a break if you must, but don't let it stop you from jumping back on that pony!!!! I respect and admire you for continuing your struggle! And those were great suggestions from the article. Thanks for sharing them.

Ann, you hit the nail on the head! I want the one that God wants for me. It's possible I missed meeting this person because I was busy with people that I chose myself over the years. I've stopped doing that. Thank you for your prayer.

I hope everyone is feeling their best today.

I'll post again soon. My dog says it's time to go OUT!

That's weird! A whole segment of my post disappeared! I guess I went on too long. Well, I'll repost the lost responses later. I'll rewrite one thing right now though:

I really enjoy coming here. You guys are great!!!!

Goodmorning to all! I've been forgetting to welcome all of you who've joined the site while I've been away. Great to hear from you.

Peter, yes, the Big Spud. Thanks for reminding me. I remember the first time I shopped in a market on the high street in Bowral. I picked up this great long bunch of celery, the longest I'd ever seen in my life. I told the clerk I was stunned by the size. She said: "Oh, you should see the WINTER celery." So maybe there should be more tributes to veggies spread throughout the land! Hehe! Just kidding. They would distract from those absolutely gorgeous green hills. What a place to live! You ARE a lucky man.

Diane

Whit, What a great saying" Suicide is permanet solution to a temporary problem".I've never heard that one. Apparently neither did the 17 year old kid on the other block. His funeral was last week. Remember when you were 17 and the world was on your shoulders? All the hormonal changes we go through added with the growing pains of finding your nitch in society never really stop. I still find myself learning personal growth tools everyday and I have a lot more to learn. Just last December I was pacing the floor over which deaf school for my daughter, where to find the money for Xmas, and had the attitude that I was standing on the 40 sucks beach. I decided after looking deep inside that I have a lot more going for me than I realized. To quote Paul from an earlier post "celebrate -- why? Two choices -- to run with it or run from it. Embrace you and celebrate you. What ifs, I wish and maybes, don't get asked to the party!!!" I somehow worked things out. Two of my three problems are gone. Only three problems! As I look back, what was I thinking? My plate is not as full as some others and I count my blessings.

Timbo, thanks for stepping up and sharing, you remind me that others have struggles too and that I'm not alone. I agree with Whit that life is full of surprises and I think your due too. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

Butt kick to Timbo, Whit and Evelyn

Paul, We haven't heard from you in a while. I hope you and your family are in good health and that your busy sow sow sowing your garden. Shin kicks..

Suz

Paul...Where are you man? Long time no cyber?!
Hey everyone. This thread is getting long. I think the number 100 posting should be dedicated to Paul on future postings. It's his number.

I have a Hair Party today. So I'll make some CASH. I go to a clients house and they have over friends/relatives. I usually end up doing cuts and color/hilites. ~$100/head. They have brunch and drink mimosas and I listen to all their gossip. A hoot.

I forget who told me to read The Road Less Traveled. You were so ON. You read right through me. That book is exactly what I needed. I'm not finished yet, but the one prominent feature so far is you have to be honest with yourself. You also have to accept change and with change may come giving up comfort. And it all boils down to a choice which yours and yours alone to make. Several of you must have read it or your mental health is so completely ok that you think normally to begin with. I say that because the comments and feed back from this board incorporate a lot of what I've read thus far. Timely info for me too I might add. The past couple of weeks I've been popping a cigarette here and there. How foolish, but when the anti-depressants stop working well and I start caressing a bottle of wine in the store I know to buy a cigarette instead. I can't kill all those years of sobriety. Reading last night though made me realize I'm just looking for an answer or relief. I'm going to have to feel the pain of where I'm at, because I've let myself get here. I am going to have to dig my way out. The more sweat and vigor the faster I'll get out. It's up to ME. Not that it hasn't been said before, but it just was brought together and it clicked in my head. IF I stop expecting it to be easy, I'll move ahead a lot faster.
This board may be saving my life. I'm sorry I can't remember who suggested the book specifically, but I want to thank you for suggesting it. I feel enriched. And to everyone else and Paul and Cat I owe you thanks. You listen and give back. You are all such special people.

Different topic, but along the same line, I wrote a poem to my wife last night (NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE) and put it on her pillow. It expressed some of my feelings. Not that I expected them to become real per se, but just I thought expressed them in a benign way. She came in without even a smile on her face and said "I read that! Complete fantasy Tim. Complete fantasy. When are you going to turn back to the truth (religion)?"
SIGH

Well Ihave lots to do today so I guess now would be the time to get it done.

Thanks

Tim

WOW
I just finished reading my email. I should haveperhaps taken a look there first, but I always come here first.
Aunt Mil I loved your suggestion. I think the concept of the one man show should take into consideration more than one character.
Cat...I wouldn't miss it for the world.
After I sent you a message I decided, I am going to put my funds from these hair parties I do into a special place. Today it'll probably be close to $700 or $800. I'm going to set some aside. If the play comes through I'll have money set aside for my ticket and I'll BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!
I think our group should be offered front row seats. I'll prepay...WHATEVER...
That made my day!
Thanks
and thank the writer too.
Timbo

Good morning Millie! You've got me hooked on subtitles now! I hope you're feeling happy and well today. That goes for everyone else too. Good morning to all!

I woke up feeling really low, but my mind is perking up. I remind myself that negative moods pass just as positive ones do. I believe, as Timbo does, that this board could be a life saver. I'm thankful.

Timbo, it was Michelle in Chicago that suggested the book to you. I'll definitely have to read it since you've also given it great reviews. Your hair party sounds fun! Wish I could attend.

I'm going to try and keep my posts shorter. That last one was a mystery.

Butt kicks all 'round!

timbo...like you, i should read my email first and like you, i'm starting to save...tells me m'curio is still "there"!
and timbo, for yourself...stay healthy - mentally and physically!

cat - not sure how the playwright julia britton got the info on this fan base...but me thinks you played a major part----s'plain yourself lucy!!!!

Super Bowl Sunday today - otherwise known as "The Day of the Dip". commercials should be cool and $$$!

Good morning Paul and everyone.

Tim, hang in there. I read the book years ago and it was inspirational. Change usually isn't easy and is often more painful the more we struggle. Hugs to you, dear. Keep up the good fight!

My email "bell" rang just after I pulled up this site. Very exciting news. I don't know enough about the subjects to have an opinion of the best choice. Perhaps that should be left to Paul. And I have every intention of getting back to Australia one of these days. Gotta work on my resume and get a paying job very soon, so this is good motivation.

Thanks, Cat!

Diane

Good Noon, Whitney, Timbo, Bluedog,

I had written a long post to you, Timbo, with some thoughts about your poem on your wife's pillow, and how you were rebuked by her.

However, I lost the post, which happens, but I just wanted to tell you that your wife's action was unfortunate..you made a sweet gesture to her, and she was not appreciative! I can imagine how you wrote and rewrote that note to make it just right!

My husband Elliott, on every birthday and anniversary, stops secretly at the card department of our supermarket, pours over the cards while I am shopping elsewhere in the store, and makes the appropriate selection...now, over the years, the words may be familiar, but it's the thought that counts. He lays the card on my pillow, on each birthday and anniversary, and I, feinting surprise, shake the envelope, and ask, demurely, "is there a check inside?"...so romantic...

Yes, I'll bet everyone on PC would love to save up and go see Paul's play, should the idea come to fruition! I vote for Rudolf Valentino...perfect for Paul, the role of the century!

Rudolf Valentino was the idol of millions of women who ever saw him. He was a star of the silent era of movies, and was idolized because of his smoldering good looks, his dancing, his tango moves, and his many lovers! He did marry once or twice. Unfortunately he died from an illness before he was 40, and all his hysterical fans went into mourning! (There was a woman that laid flowers on his gravesite for decades...she was known as "the woman in black.")

Our Paul has the smoldering good looks, the dance moves, the acting ability, and he's OUR star, so he's perfect for the role!

Montgomery Clift is also nothing to scoff at. He had a distinguished career, co-starred with some of Hollywood's most talented ladies, like Elizabeth Taylor (Place in the Sun) and Olivia DeHavilland (The Heiress). After he was disfigured
in a car crash, he went downhill and also had an early demise from a heart attack probably brought on by liquor and drugs. Two great roles, in my estimation, showing the fraility of life, with its peaks and valleys.

We'll be waiting for good news!

I was so thrilled to hear that my suggestion about using the English subtitles for SB worked for you, Whitney and Bluedog, and anyone else. It was driving me bananas when I could not deciper some of the dialogue used in SB by my ear alone.

Even the little guy, Lukie, said stuff that I couldn't get until I used the subtitle bit...go to the scene where Shirley is complaining about Scott, while she is fixing Lukie's trousers...he says something about the 35s, to Mr. Hastings. He intimated that Shirley and Doug should go into the dance contest for the over 35 age group, and the little girl, Kylie remarks that her father doesn't like dance competitions! Even Wayne had some trouble in the beginning...he spoke as if he had cotton in his mouth! Paul, you and Tara were just perfect...you and she did not need decipering, what with your dancing that lit up the screen, and those poignant moments when you quietly urge her on to continue to dance with you.."you're better than all of them"...

Love,

Grandma

Love,

Grannie

Thank you so much to everyone who wished me well soon!! I've had the flu for three days, and yesterday I was feeling better and this morning I tried to get up for church but ended up feeling to Nauseated for that!! so I stayed home! but Im feeling better at the moment which is good!!! there are so many different times of flu going around these days that Im not sure which one I have, some of them last up to a week so Im praying I don't have it that long!! wish everyone to stay well!!!!
Hey to susan! back at ya girl! ;)
and Grandma, say hey to Granpa Elliot for me!! hope your great take care!!
Love to all!
Kelli

Grandma Millie,
Thanks kindly for the info on "An Ordinary Mermaid". I did hear something about that, but can't recall where. A senior moment?.....Perhaps a neural overload moment. Need more days off.
Unfortunately, it is doubtful that I will be able to make it to the premiere, but I would be surprised if it doesn't surface on TV or video soon. Aussies like stories about their own, especialy when there is some special adversity, as in Annette Kellerman's case. There are a great many people in this world that have served to inspire us. Many of them are, fortunately, still living. Thank God for that, we all need a little inspiration and direction once in a while.

Whitney, That wasn't directly meant as an open invitaton for butt kicks, but please feel free. My rump is thick, I can handle it!
It's 6:00am on Monday. I started work in my office a little while ago and my first diary entry for the day is "As you sow, so shall you reap". OK, a little common perhaps, but the importance is never diminished. Bhudda may agree.
Peter

bluedog--nothing much to explain. I think Ms. Britton had Paul in mind. All you have to do is type his name into any search engine and you get this site. She pored over the site, and used the contact form to write me.

The whole idea behind PMO was to raise Paul's profile and bring his fans together. I think I count it a resounding success. :)

Hey guys...
It turned out to be a great hair party..averaged $52/hour. That doesn't suck. So I'm setting some aside and will be from now own for the stage show. And Aunt Mil, I think you're absolutely right...Valentino and Clift would be excellent roles for Paul. The whole concept had me going today...thinking of a trip to Melbourne and what I'd want to do...meet you guys..wouldn't that be a blast. And I agree with everyone else, Cat, this site is certainly a great one for Paul. By the way if you have his email address...tell him it's time to check in...
Paul we miss your comments mate...
I hope everything is going well and the family is OK.
I may have bumped into something good today. L'Oreal is advertising for an Educator for the Southeast. It offers a salary, company car, benefits and promotion. May be just the ticket. Now I shall finish a little work around the house and read my book.
Timbo

Tim, I'm so happy you're reading the book! Please don't let your wife's reaction negate the fact that you chose to do something genuinely lovely for her. Your thoughtful gesture WAS your reality and truth at that moment. I'm so sorry she chose to view it as something negative, but I'm proud that you made the effort. Keep reading and let me know how you're feeling about it.

Peter, have you seen the movie Rabbit-Proof Fence? We were thinking of seeing it as we've heard such great things about it. Was it well received there?

I bought an Elton John concert DVD this weekend and have watched it several times. Now I'm annoying everyone by singing Tiny Dancer all the time. Can't get that song out of my head!

Paul, I love a bit of mystery, but you're starting to worry me. I'll send some extra positive energy your way and hope your day is going well!

Peace,
Michelle in Chicago

Michelle, Rabbit Proof Fence has been extremely well received here by critics and public alike (from what I've glimpsed in the papers).
Unfortunately I haven't seen it yet. Maybe soon. I don't get much spare time. I've been to see only two movies in the last three years, and they were with my kids. A parent's lot! LOL.
Peter

Good night, Whitney!

Where's Paul? We miss you, Paul! Send us a sign, or we will really worry!

Kelli, I gave your message to Grandpa Elliott, and he says "hi" right back to you! (He's busy watching the Super Bowl. With Tampa Bay playing, who do you think we are supporting?)

We hope you are feeling better, and can get back to school this week. Another cold front is supposed to hit Florida tomorrow...oh, well, at least we don't get snow...yet!

Love,

Grandma and Grandpa

Love,

Grannie

PAUL...PAUL....PAUL....PAUL....PAUL...
IS THIS PAULS CORNER OR WHAT? SAY BOO!..I'M WORRIED HERE..I THOUGHT YOU'D WRITE SOMETHING BY NOW. ARE YOU IN A RUT? TALK TO US MAN...JUST SAY EVERYTHING IS OK OR YOU'RE WORKING ON SOMETHING...
MISS YOU DUDE.
TIM

Everyone--

Don't worry so much about Paul. Usually when he goes quiet for a while, it's because he's out of town. I last heard from him on 19 January. Just hang tight, he'll be around again.

G'day all. It's the Australia Day long weekend down here. It's Monday and today's a public holiday.....a good time for a rest.
Most folk aren't working, but busy beeming with national pride. Paul's possibly hangin' out somewhere nice and downing a few well earned Cooper's (another national pastime). Cheers.
Peter

Grandma, Im going for Tampa too!! im really glad they are winning so far, glad Grandpa Elliot is having a great time watching the game!! ;)! it looks like they will win, but im not jinxing it!! love lots

love,
Kelli

Good news Cat. Again really good news about the possibility of the play. Incredible.
Probably having a helluva time off. Drink up Paul..Cheers to you and Peter. enjoy your holiday.

Timbo

Good evening Grandma and everyone.

I'd go to Australia in a heartbeat if this show happens and I can save up the cash. Seeing Paul perform and getting to meet all of you in such a setting would be awesome. Truely!!! Count me in!

Tim, I was sad to read that your careing gesture wasn't graciously received. But of course I'm glad to hear you made some cash today and the Clarol gig sounds like it would be a real opportunity for you. Knock on that door and it just might open!

Kelli, so glad to hear you're feeling better. Thus far I haven't had the flu this year. Thank God! I'm a real baby when I get sick.

Michelle in Chicago, what's the name of the Elton John DVD? I'm a big fan and I've never been able to make out all of the lyrics to Tiny Dancer. I could read them in the subtitles.

Cat, your site is a real hit. Paul is so fortunate to have your help. I hope he doesn't let the pile of posts intimidate him and keep him from jumping back in. I know I'd understand if he didn't go back and read everything we've written. He's a busy man.

Well, I'm going to keep this short. I have more work to do. I've been so busy I haven't even had time to read Evelyn's thesis! I wonder where she is? And where's Caryn? She has to be back by now!

Good night Grandma.

Good night all!

WOOOHOOOO!! GO TAMPA!!!!

I'm not a huge football fan (unless the Cowboys are playing!), but hey, it's the Superbowl. :)

Mysti
The commercials are great though...

STRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A bloke goes to work and the next thing you know theres a 120 posts since he last looked! Thanks for missing me but please dont worry about me. I have been doing longish days at the store and when I get home I hang with my wife and kids and dont really have the energy to get on and write. I try to read most mornings early before I go to work so I can keep an eye on "youse" all.

Good news is I hit top salesman for the month of Jan on Friday!! Crazy hey. By the afternoon the manager got back in front of me but I was somewhat chuffed!

All the posts are as always great to read - Diane thanks for the offer of your house - you never know when you may get a call from me! I miss not being able to stay on top of the comments and post back but my focus is a little occupied especially this week. I had meetings with agent and have now decided on one. A difficult decision really! Listen to the heart the head and my wife - I am very happy with the choice and look forward to the coming year. Faith, positive attitude and joy will be my companion on the road about to be travelled - oh and you guys too!

Kids finish their school holidays in two days, bummer, I love having them home, I miss them heaps when they have to go to school. Mind I have been at work and missed them while they where on holidays! Balance, harmony and health - holiday days, the wheel turns, day becomes night and our lives become what is foretold in the winds of change....

It was 44.1 deg C in Melbourne the other day - flaming hot!!! Today I am making sour dough bread a white loaf and a rye loaf. I am also helping Emily make some cakes and she is bugging me to go and help her now, so I got to go.

New post on the way regarding this play thing. Hopefully I will get to it tonight.

Whitney, where am I??? I don't really know myself, somewhere between not being in civilization and coming back (what I mean by that is that I e.g. unplug the phone and other such things to be able to work entirely undisturbed, okay, I keep the answering machine on so as to not entirely annoy my friends and family) but right now I am about to fall over exhausted from having worked all weekend, long hours on "the damn thing"--the MUCH larger project of what I sent you, I'm getting too close to 300 pages. Darn, I wanted to keep it under 250. How's your work going? and what exactly are you working on?

Peter (and any other Aussie here), how do you guys celebrate Australia Day? and do go see Rabbit Proof Fence, it's a great movie!!! and also fits into the topic of this thread, stepping up, showing gut etc. It gave me a lot to think about when I saw it a few weeks ago and I'm still thinking. Depending on how old your kids are, you could take them along, even though it's not the typical kids movie.

Tim [nope I cannot add the -bo, that just doesn't do it for me], I'm sorry about your wife's response. I hope it didn't hurt too badly but I'm sure it did. I wish she were able to see the real reason why you wrote this, rather than bringing it down to the "your on the wrong path and unlike you, I know what the right one is" I know that mentality all too well and I'm upset on your behalf on account of the underlying arrogance and presumptiousness it contains. Keep focusing on your own path and don't let "them" pull you down. They don't have the right to do so.

Kelli, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that you don't have to endure the flu for a month and a half as I did. I gave up counting as to how many versions I ended up having, but I'm more or less over it now, still have a few symptoms left, but now I can mostly ignore them. I don't think I ever had the flu for that long a time or for that matter, ever was sick for that long. Not cool!

And re. the question as to which role Paul "should" take on in the theatre, should he even want to do that, he should choose that!!! Whatever appeals to him, is what's important!!!

Okay, sleep is in order.
Evelyn

Ps. Peter where is that hot air that you promised to send my way??? It's still VERY cold here [that wording should be to Dhiana's taste :-))))]

Paul, just saw that you posted while I was typing myself. Glad to hear you are doing well and glad you made a choice re. a new agent that you seem happy with. You do exude much happiness and hope in this last post, which is fantastic! I'm really happy for you, also for making top salesman of Jan. Congratulations!!!!

Okay, I really do have to get some sleep, if I am to make it halfway reasonably in shape through a long and busy day at work tomorrow. And will you, too, please send some of your excessively hot +44 C my way, and in exchange I will share the -20 C (the day's high without the wind chill factor!!!) with you??? PLEASE!!!!

Kelli, sorry you're not feeling well. There are lots of versions of flu going on around here, too. My husband thought he had a 24-hour bug both before and after our vacation. Turns out the headaches, shivvering, nausea and vomitting were caused by an inner ear infection.

Evelyn, well done. Sounds like you need to pamper yourself after work tomorrow.

Congratulations, Paul on your salesmanship award and on your new representation. You'll probably be too busy in Oz this year to come over here. But, what the heck—I'll start cleaning the house now anyway, just in case ; ))

Tim, I'm sorry your wife hurt you with her response. I just comforted a friend whose father keeps rejecting her (as her mother has for years). It doesn't erase the pain, but it might make it a bit more bearable to give yourself credit for offering your love even when she's too buried in her own pain to receive it. If we tell ourselves that we're fools to reach out, we become hardened to both giving and receiving love.

Hugs to Paul and family and to the rest o' yuz.

Evelyn, I thought that I'd already "posted" loads of hot air! (Yeh, Yeh, no disagreement there!)
For Australia Day, there are typically many outdoor events on, including naturalisation ceremonies, fairs, etc, with the emphasis on "community", both local and national.
We had a terrific family day out at the beach, c/w a nice cool swim and fish & chips for lunch. Yum. A good day off. The kids loved it. So did we. Simple pleasures.

Paul, Hope you enjoyed the weekend. Congrats on the sales success. TOP ONE! As the saying goes, the cream always rises to the top.
Here's wishing you great success with your new agent, too. Hope they "do it" for you.
As for the 40+ temps, can't say I've enjoyed the heat. Thank God today's cooler. Work's finished, time for a quick bike ride before family time.
Hope the kids enjoy the return to school. Their return kinda makes everything feel like "the routine" has started up all over again for the year. Onwards and upwards.
Peter

Hey Tim, as far as facing up to the pain htat comes with the journey....I guess that is a lot of what I express and talk about here. I often feel I am wingeing but actually I am working through acknowledgeing it, feeling it and hopefully doing something else with it,,,like pissing it off. So, feel the pain, share it with us - dont indulge in it overly, piss it off, learn, revive, breath and survive. Get in touch with you, rekindle your spirit and celebrate.

I am sorry about your wifes response. Maybe the poem just sucked? :):):):):):)! just joking! Laugh if you can mate - some days thats all we have left! Diane said it better than I but if I may I double what she said.

No new post for tonight. I've run out of time. I have a couple of issues I want to talk of and look forward to you guys focusing on them.

Dear Peter and Paul...(has a nice familiar ring to it, no?)

Where do I begin...okay, Paul, your news is music to these old ears. First making points at work, terrific, and then getting a new agent, marvelous,
and producers like Ms. Britten looking for you, well, fantastic!!! We'll be thrilled for you in whatever you do!

Now, Timbo, if this old Auntie had made a statement like Paul did, about your poem to your wife, you would have disinherited me...however, forgive me, for I am still chuckling about Paul's remark...what a way to start the day! (You're a good sport, bless you!)

Peter, I found a celcius/farenheit converter on the Internet, and your 40C was 104F! Mighty hot, even by Floridian standards! I keep the converter site on my desktop, for I always check the weather in Sydney. I subscribe to the Internet version of the Sydney Morning Herald...it keeps me close to our mates in Australia!

Cheers!

Grandma

....oh, yes, and top of the mornin' to ye all, Whitney, (and everyone!)

Love,

Grannie

Paul...Best of luck with your new agent. It is most important to feel good about the person representing you and your best interests. Positive energy seems to be enveloping you. Thinking of you, Linda

Gosh you guys...thanks for all the support.
Damn..I got a special post from Paul. I'm printing that out.... : )
Aunt Mil...I'd never disinherit you..I have nothing to give you, but I'd never disinherit you. I love the spirit on this board. The book I'm reading suggests that love is so much more than what people use the word for. It suggests that love is when people care about others and want them to advance spiritually/emotionally (non-denominationally). Well guess what, that's what I get from this board. So I guess in the truest definition of the word, as described by this Doctor, we all love each other on this board. We try to help each other succeed and advance no matter what.
Paul..I'm excited and delighted and just way up there to hear about your new agent. And an aside, the poem really did suck...it was just an effort. I'm not a poet. With the new agent--BEST OF LUCK. I'll be there for the play if you do it. And congratulations on the sales of the month. I wouldn't expect anything less of you. Geez...you could sell subdivision property in the everglades...(right Aunt Mil).
I'm so very glad I checked in here this morning. It started out with a bang, so I'm going to "piss it off" as Paul said. That book you guys...I almost finished it last night. It is such a source of comfort and help to me. I just can't express my gratitude. And Paul, did you read it? If you didn't you have an innate ability to help people like this doctor. If you did read it then, you have the ability to moderate a discussion quite well. Maybe that could be a side thing for you. A talk show...A GOOD ONE people. Like Oprah or Dr. Phil...hey Dr. Paul. You could do it. You're a spiritually healthy man and I think both Dr. Phil and Oprah have that. I don't watch either show all the time or anything like that, but I really do enjoy some of the shows.
Ok so I'm off. It's great to hear from everyone. Paul...so glad you and the family are well and you had a great holiday together. I would hate to think we take to much of your time from them. They ARE the most IMPORTANT.

Tim

Good morning Grannie. I love you and Elliot too! I take it his team won the Super Bowl.

Ah, Tim this book sounds wonderful! I can honestly say I love you and I feel the love on this board too. It's unconditional.

I love all of you and I'm not afraid to say it. It's a simple sort of love that doesn't ask for anything in return. Everyone deserves that. Life is too short.

Paul, salesman of the month of January. How fantastic! Obviously you're the kind of man that can do anything he puts his mind to! I'm glad you've been putting your family ahead of us, though we miss you like hell when you don't post. And congratulations on the new agent! A new door has opened for you. Strut right through it! I'm looking forward to your next thread.

Evelyn! 300 pages? You go girl! But give yourself a much needed break. We don't want you to get sick!

Keeping this short. Worthy dog needs OUT.
Love!

Dearest Timbo,

Could Paul sell subdivision property in the Everglades?...OF COURSE, AND WITH AN ALLIGATOR OR TWO THROWN IN!!

Of course, one can disinherit a kid, but not an aunt, (unless you are a person like Barbra Streisand, whose aunt does live here in our retirement community!) I realize now that it was a bad word choice, another senior moment, but you know what I meant, Timbo, forgive me!

We've all met because of our love for Paul and "Strictly Ballroom". Now we can honestly say that we also love each other...I'm not ashamed to repeat it, for in a million ways it (love) is evident on this site, through the caring and the compassion of you wonderful young men and women...Dr. Phil would never believe it! We were once complete strangers, and now we're almost a family...and Elliott and I are the elders, so behave yourselves!!!

I have noticed something so wonderful, so true..there has been so much positive energy lately, with Paul's great news, Timbo's too, and from many of the posts...may it continue!

Love, (there, I've said it again),

Grandma

Tim, I can't believe you've almost finished the book! I'm just so thrilled with your response to it. I got my copy out so I could read my favorite parts again. Keep me posted.

Whitney, the DVD is One Night Only-The Greatest Hits. I don't think it has subtitles. My husband did a search on Google and found lyrics to a few songs. The address is www.eltonography.com. I always wondered about the lyrics to "Someone Saved My Life Tonight". I always thought I was hearing him wrong, but he DOES say "sugar bear". Who knew?

Paul, I'm looking forward to your next post. Gives us all an opportunity to expand our minds a bit, and our hearts as well.

Love to all,
Michelle in Chicago

Hello to all of yall....(pardon the southern slang)....I hope this post finds everyone doing well. Just tickled pink to find that Paul has posted and doing VERY well...congrats on the agent of the month!! That is awesome. AND congrats on the new agent, hope that all goes well there. My daughter, Krysten, sends you a (((hug))).

Diane - thanks for what you said, "It might not erase the pain, but it might make it a bit more bearable to give yourself credit for offering love". I know that I have put it on here before, but my father abused me when I was a kid, until my mother finally left him when I was 16. I have spent the last 15 years, trying to sort all this out. I went thru a time when I wanted so badly for him to love me like a father should love his daughter. You know that unconditional love that only a father can give to his daughter. I had an opportunity to press charges against him when I was 16 but didn't because, he promised me that he would seek help. When I dropped charges, he decided that he didn't need help. He only went on to abuse another little girl. Thats a burden I know i will have to carry for the rest of my life. Since that happened, I have been very angry with my father. He did go to prison and is out now. About two years ago, he became very sick. Had a brain aneurysm and almost died. While he was in the hospital, I called him. I honestly tried to reach out to him. But I told him that I could only offer my friendship at that time. Nothing more. Because, I wasn't ready to give more. He refused and told me that it wasn't good enough. I haven't tried since. I cant. I realized that if he really loved me, he would have jumped at the chance to have a "friendship" with me. It hurt, but, I have come to accept that, and I have a wonderful step daddy that is the kind of daddy every daughter should have. So, good advice, thanks. I did try and I am going to give myself credit for that. He is the one missing out.

Oh my, I am so sorry for laying all that out here. That was not my intentions. My fingers just kept typing.

Anyway, good night, (or day) everyone....hugs to everyone. Sure could use some of that warm air here (hint hint)

Way to go Paul! The month isn't over yet, sell a few more notebooks and leave the manager in the dust.
Congratulations on the new agent, may they be worthy of your talent and work to bring that talent back to the big screen.
To all fellow posters: Hope all had a good weekend and enjoyed the Super Bowl.
Played nursemaid to DH this weekend, seems he finally came down with the crud that I have had for a month, had to take him to the Dr. They gave him antibiotics and he is on the road to recovery.
Amazing what good drugs, chicken noodle soup and hot tea will do for the old body.
It's been a long day and the rest of the week will be trying. End of year reports, W-2's and 1099's to complete and mail by Thursday.
Kelli, hope the flu has finally left you to rest and recuperate.
To all those writing papers, I wish you only the very best. Hated them when I was in school.
Must get off here and ready for bed.
Hugs all around, a special one for Paul and family. Looks like things may be turning around.
Sherrlyn

Paul congrats on the salesman award. Good going. Shin kicks. Sow sow your garden.

Timbo, I'm sorry to hear your wife was not receptive and didn't see the most important part "that you made an effort and that's what counts." Who care's if the poem sucked. At least your hairdo's don't:) You have many other talents. The effort shows you care. Your heart was in the right place. Don't give up. You've got the right attitude keep going with it. Congrats on the success of your hair party. What a great idea. Maybe you can expand on that idea. I'd have one. I need one. LOL.

Evelyn, I hope I get all the bugs out of reading you paper. I'll email you soon.

Since we haven't heard from Dhiana, I,m guessing that her husbands home or she's busy with the red light chickens. Hope your keeping warm:)

Kelli, hope your over that cold soon. Take care.

Whit, Timbo, Evelyn, butt kicks...good job Evelyn on the 300 page paper.

Hugs to grandma and everyone

Suz

Good morning Grandma! I hope it's not too cold in FL today. It's not too bad in WV.

Well I just went to traffic court and got $15 shaved off a $25 ticket for parking in a no no spot. I gave a pretty good explanation with a map, but couldn't afford pictures. Never give up; never surrender!

Sherrlyn, glad to hear you hubbies feeling better. I'm guessing DH stands for dear husband. Right? He's so lucky to have you looking after him.

Ann, you can tell us anything. Consider this a dumping zone. This is our group therapy session. I'm glad you survived such an awful ordeal. And I have to say that your biological father is, in my opinion, an ungrateful ass. He doesn't even deserve your friendship. It's been said that it can be emotionaly damaging to disconnect ourselves from the people and events of our past, but this case might be an exception. At least you have your step father.

Michelle in Chicago, I'll visit that site. I got the "sugar bear" lyric, but I can understan why that would make one wonder. I can't wait to read the lyrics to Tiny Dancer. There are so many songs I'd love to know all the words to, but I've never found a comprehensive source for this type of info online or in the library. I'm interested in this subject if you find anything else in the future.

It was great to hear from you the other day Paul. I welcome all varieties of news: struggles and victories. More victories to you in the future. The more I think about you as Valentino in the play, the more I think it would make a great movie too. I've never seen a movie about his life and there are still many people who remember him and even more that would be interested in learning about this legend of silent films. This would be another role that I feel you were born for. He had the same sort of intesity in his eyes that I see in yours. Pulling for you as always.

Timbo, keep us posted on your screenplay. Have you ever visited Triggerstreet.com? I may have mentioned it before. I don't know how you can protect work when you post it there, but it would be worth checking out for the feedback you'd get. When you get this script done, I'd love to read it. You can trust me.

Well, I have to go teach.

Love!!!

whitney: have you tried songfile.com or kissthisguy.com for song lyrics?

paul: congrats on finding a new agent.

tim: that old saying kill 'em with kindness seems to hold true. they usually melt in time.

bush's state of the union tonight. think i'll dig out elvis costello's "peace, love and understanding" and listen to that instead of his barking.

Ann, as Whitney said, we're here for one another. Please continue to share. I'm glad you have a healthy father in you life, now.

The friend that I comforted suffered mental, emotional and physical abuse by her mother for years. Her father's extreme ill-treatment of her is relatively new and may be related to aging and disease. Still, she has had to parent herself through so much of her life and that's a lonely place to be. This, then, is just another blow. She told me that she felt stupid for putting herself in the position of being hurt by him again when she went to visit him after a recent surgery. I thought she should feel good about doing the loving thing regardless of his response. I don't think we should necessarily seek out frequent visits with dysfunctional people to recover from dysfunctional childhoods, but practicing compassion for ourselves and others, especially in challenging situations, makes us stronger. So, too, I hope you'll forgive yourself for not pressing charges against your father. You did what you could do at the time and you've learned from that mistake. We don't learn from our successes; we learn from our mistakes. And I think we're here to learn and rise above. I guess what I'm trying to say is carry the lesson, not the burden.

Hi, Linda and Susan! Hello again, Sherrlyn. My oldest son rooted for Oakland. My youngest for Tampa Bay. I enjoyed a quiet day because they did this at somebody else's house. Yipee!

Peter and Paul, I'm having a sympathetic hot flash with each weather report. Paul, you're a trooper to bake bread in 40C temps. We're having an unusually warm winter in SoCal, so I've barely had time to prune the roses before their "spring" shoots arrived.

Texas, I have two choices. I can go to city hall and complain about the selling off of the environment in favor of pork-barrel projects. Or, I can watch the state of the union address tonight. In either case, it will be agonizing since I'm back on the Atkin's diet and can't drown my revulsion with a glass of wine. Good time to meditate, huh?

Michelle and Whitney, it bugs me to have to struggle to understand lyrics. I usually ask my kids to translate. If they can't, we make up stupid lyrics and have a good laugh. If I just don't like the music, I do outrageous immitations of the singers and make a fool of myself in front of their friends. They've learned to listen to that stuff in the privacy of their own rooms!

Peace, ya'll!

Hey everyone...trying to catch up! I've been CRAZY busy this week and it will continue until next week...My best friend is getting married this weekend and we're running around like headless chickens doing last minute stuff!

About the lyrics, try www.reallyrics.com and see how that works...they've got quite a bit of stuff, especially of most popular artists (like Elton John).

Sorry to be so brief, but we've got more running around to do...

Have a great day, everyone!

LOVE,
Mysti

Whitney and Diane - thanks guys! I really didn't mean to pour all that out. As my husband and mother have said, I need to go on and quit kicking myself for not turning him in in the first place. I was 16 years old and wanted so much for my father to love and accept me. I was vunerable and I trusted what he said even against my counselors advise. She was right. She told me that if he wasnt stopped he would do it again and he did. I feel responsible for that and I always will, but I know that I didn't make him choose that. He did that on his own and he will have to answer for that. Not me. I did learn a valuable lesson from that. Always make the right choice and you will never have any regrets. But, thanks for being there and letting me "dump". I hope you two are doing great.

Whitney, what grade do you teach? My sister in law is studying to be a teacher. She lives in Kentucky. My husband is from WV. Rainelle, to be exact. Ever heard of it? We go there about twice a year to visit family that still lives there.

Hope every one is doing well. Paul, I look forward to the new series of posts and discussions. Take care!

Hey guys, just wanted to share a moment of elation with you. A few minutes ago I just finished the last chapter of my thesis. VERY BIG SMILE has appeared on my face. :-) You absolutely have no idea how good that feels!!!! Now I only have the epilogue and introduction to finish (and that will be done at the latest after this weekend!!!) and then edit, edit, edit. I can do that!!! Since I'm on a roll, I might just have to continue writing and finish the epilogue, after all it's only 6 PM, I could easily fit another 4 hours of writing in this evening, right? Who needs pampering mid way??? Okay, when I'm done, I am going to do a lot of pampering of myself. You can throw suggestions my way, I might just be in the mood to try something new.

I'll read the posts soon and perhaps (most likely :-)) respond to them, but right now I just wanted to share my excitement with you all and thank you for the encouragement on the way, that I did see as well. It has helped a lot!!! Getting going at times was really tough. Dhiana, you might seriously plan that trip out here now, remember you were going to participate in destroying all the drafts of the dissertation? Anyone else naturally is invited as well.

Peter, the warmer air seems to be arriving. Thanks!!!! We made it almost to 0 C the last two days, but it's supposed to drop again, so please keep it coming.

Very excitedly yours,
Evelyn

Congrats Evelyn...That's wonderful news and I know represents an incredible source of elation and completion.
Ann, I've posted a lot of my problems and issues on this board. We are a unique group of people that have a mutual interest, Paul. We are impressed by his work, artistry, openness and most of all his humility to share his life on line with US. Who knew??? By doing that though he offers some real insight into how he deals with issues and invites us to share the same. We all talk about what's gone bad, what is good and then we just talk about the weather and fun stuff. Remember we really are like a loving little family here. We all connect and want each other to reach a higher plataeu of happiness and completeness. So share your thoughts and feelings. We all do!!
Last night was a first for my marriage. We had argued all day. My wife started out with religion and by the end of the day we had just been served another summons, another creditor suing us(they'll put ANOTHER lien on our house)and I hit the roof. I said we'd sell it and get the hell out. She was screaming Hell no, and then I said well then you can buy my half. Then she starts crying saying I just hurt her all the time. It's my fault. She can't take it. Just goaway. Well...I did. I spent the night in the lovliest La Quinta Inn, smoked an entire pack of cigarettes in about 5 hours watched Sweet Home Alabama and read my book until I fell asleep. Got up at 5am this morning, stopped at Mickey D's and got Hashbrowns, and an Egg McMuffin. Pure fat comfort food to add to my fat ass. See when things start going bad I just fucking eat myself silly. I went to the Pawn shop before thehotel to buy a gun. I was going to end it. Because it's not getting better. I wrote out a letter...I requested they post my demise on the board. but I just couldn't do it. Istarted to take an OD of Xanax. I didn't chicken out per se...but I want to see more of life. My life will not be complete until I've done more...even though it bitterly sucks right now. I want to know my kids are safe and happy. I want to meet you guys. I want to shake Paul's hand. That's what stopped me. I'm scheduled to see my psych tomorrow. I don't know what he'll do. I don't know what he can do. The book I'm reading suggests that fearing the pain involved we all attempt to avoid problems. procrastinate, ignore them, pretend they don't exist, even take drugs to forget about them. Then it goes on we have to face problems directly and to experience the pain involved. Then we grow as a person and become all the more wiser. I'm definitely feeling the pain of the problems. And it is hard to focus when the pain gets unbearable, thus leading to irrational conclusions. I can see though that if the problems can be reduced to a manageable size and contain them, then relief can be obtained and I will have grown as a person. I would be able to look back and say youwon't believe what I went through. But it would be past tense. Surely that day will come.
If I can get the script finished, you can read it. I'm open to criticism.
I really did think about thisboard last night...you saved me. B/C it just kept envisioning us all meeting at Paul's play and getting to meet up close and personal.
I keep trying. I'm not going to pull the plug yet.
Tim

{{{{Tim}}}} My first thought on reading your post was the Desiderata. I know Paul has spoken about it; have you read it? If not do a search and read it. Especially the part that says, "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

You are a valued and loved person to many people, especially your children. I love reading your posts here. You have so much to say, so much to give! Treat yourself kindly, lovingly. The money problems are a pain in the ass, but they are not the most important thing. Life is precious, and you are a good man with much to look forward to.

Please keep writing here, whenever you feel the need to be heard. We're great listeners who care about what happens to you, and wish only the best for you.

Peace, love,
Michelle in Chicago

Tim - My heart goes out to you. I am sorry that you are going thru a trying time in your life. You know when I was a kid, I kept thinking of ways to get out of the mess I was living in. I thought of running away. I thought of killing my father while he slept (even pulled a gun on him once). And I thought of killing myself only to find myself lying in the floor crying my eyes out because all I thought about was my mom and how hurt she would be if I went thru with it and who was going to take care of her if I was gone. My sister from Florida called me last wednesday to tell me that her brother (we have different dads), had taken a 12 gauge shotgun and shot himself in the neck. It blew away part of his shoulder and neck. He was pronounced dead from the paramedics but was brought back by the life flight crew. He wound up in hours of surgery and now has to write down everything he wants to say. He wrote to my sister and said that he was sorry and that he didnt want to die. But everytime he looks in the mirror he will be reminded of the choice he made last wednesday. Tim, I made it thru my ordeal only to be stronger and wiser and thank God, I didn't go thru with the bad choices I could have made. MY life would have been ruined or just plain ended and I wouldnt have had the chance to experience all the joy that my life brings to me now. My husband, my kids, my stepdad.....I am truely blessed. Tim, remember that tomorrow is a new day. You make the best of it and go on. Stay strong for your kids, get marriage counseling, and most importantly, stay strong for yourself. Take care. (((hugs to everyone)))

Congratulations, Evelyn! That's a big weight lifted off when you finish a dissertation. (I haven't been there, but have friends who have and not without a struggle.)

Tim, here's BIG hugs from me. You can get through this. Just hang on. We're all pulling for you!!!

Will your wife go to marriage counselling or doesn't she believe in it? Does she bring in any income? It sounds like there are huge communication problems there. If she's not willing to work on them, at least you can work through your issues with your therapist. Not only do your kids need their dad present in their lives, but they also need to see you demonstrate how to get through this often very difficult journey. This is just a dark part of the woods. You'll find your way through and "out" is not it.

Love you!

Tim...Michelle is so right about Desiderata! It is one of my favroite pieces. You cannot say or read the words without feeling an inner harmony and closeness to the one you love. You and your wife should read it to bring your essence together. Then you can face your problems as a team and conquer them one at a time. It can be done. Keep the faith! Linda

okay tim - get out...plead bankruptcy, get a divorce - get a divorce, plead bankruptcy!

man...no gun, no xanax,....the marriage sounds like a war zone for the two of you..you and your wife both deserve more...you know damn well the kids hear you fighting...will the kids be okay? no, not totally, but watching two parents fight all the time cannot be healthy either

you know it's not what the psychiatrst will do or say....it's what you have to do....it's time to step up as m'curio sezs...

i've really stepped out on a limb here...offering advice is not something i do...but christ you're scaring the hell out of me...

keep posting....i sure as hell don't want to log on and see you've had some one post your demise!!!

Timbo, Genuinely sorry to read of your current pain. Stay strong mate. Treat yourself with all the love and respect you deserve. Be comforted by the thought that life has a way of changing greatly for the better, and very quickly too. Don't despair. Try looking at it all as a third person. It may help with gaining a different, more useful perspective. (I know it works for me). The first thing you'll see is what a wonderful and valuable person you are - cherish this and don't let it change.
Best regards,
Peter

Tim, please stick around!!! I'd miss you if you weren't part of here anymore and for that matter of this life. I'm not even going to pretend to understand what the pain must be like for you, because I don't, I just wish I could ease it somewhat for you, so here's a couple of hugs for you--hug, hug, hug--and a shoulder to cry on, should you need it or want to use it. You are a wonderful person, you have so much to offer and give to yourself and others, to your children, and so what, you had some fattier food, big deal. Let it go! Keep looking to the future, it might look gloomy and dark for you right now, understandably so, but the flip side of it is bright and glorious. It will come to your life again as well. Keep holding on and love yourself!
Love,
Evelyn

((((((Tim)))))) My heart goes out to you...I know how bad it sucks to be in a terrible marriage situation. Worry about money, worry about kids, worry about how to make it in a world that seems bound and determine to see you fail. Worry about the right thing to do. But above all, you have a good heart, and a special place in all our our hearts. If you ever need to talk, feel free to email me...and we're ALL pulling for you.

Mysti

Tim, you are right - it is time to end your life.

Read that line a few times....time to end your life. It is also time to end the pain.

Now ask your self how do you want to end it, what do you want to start once you have ended this life you live now?

At least you know you dont wish to die, at least you understand there are things to live for, to be around, to taste, to feel to hold on to.

So I guess it is appropriate that this post is about stepping up. It is time to end this life you live now, the pain of not being recognised in your marriage, the pain and anguish of waking up in the morning and thinking FUCK not another day to face.

Lets face it life will never be perfect but we deserve to get as close as we can.

To end it you must begin a new way of living. Yes living - with all it's uncertainty and pain and bruising and laughs and joys and hurts and knocks.

Time to step up Tim - You almost did a big step down or out. Your kids may find it hard to understand why daddy is living in a different house but it's not as hard as trying to work out why daddy didnt want to live anymore. I still find it hard to work out why my brother didnt want to live. As for Ann's brother it is amazing after all he did he said afterwards he didnt want to die. Why did he shoot himself???? It may have been the same for my brother, perhaps he didnt want to die but only end the pain, in fact I know that was so.

SO END THE PAIN BY BEGINNING ANEW!

Work towards building a better respect towards yourself. Take yourself out of the situations that continually cause you pain. Extracting your self from the pain is going to cause more pain in the short term but in the long term you will be freeing yourself to a better life. Much like pulling a rose thorn out of your thumb, (but much worse pain of course!)

We all deserve happiness, we all deserve love. It starts by us giving it to ourselves. It is by no means an easy road to give it to ourselves nor to ask it from others but firstly we must lead by example! Our children watch us and for better or worse grow up to be like us, that often means recreating our parents lifestyle whether it be abusive marriages, loveless marriages, never marrying etc

There is too much pain in the world lets add to lightening the burden by starting at home.

Tim, it aint going to be easy but we all here have faith in you. We breathe a collective sigh of relief that you didnt opt to step out.

You have already made your decision so now is the time to step up and start living, anew.

Thank you Paul. It means a helluva lot coming from you. I am going to start anew. And it will have some bumps but it will be better.
You are right...I don't want to die. I just want the existing patterns to die. Which means a lot of work for me to change them.
Thanks to everyone
Tim

I realize that Paul has started a new thread.
But Tim you have been on my mind all day, and I agree with Paul 100%.....
Your kids need you and will eventually understand the reason's behind your decisions to move on, out, up; but they would never understand why you chose to end your life and would always wonder if it was something they did or did not do.
We as citizens of the U.S. and those countries who choose to side with us on this Iraq confrontation are not going to have an easy time of it for the next year or so. The economy is not getting better, the stock market is floundering and those of us with few investments are watching them go down the toilet every month.
It takes everything my husband and I bring home each month to make ends meet. We are putting money aside and buying more ammunition for the weapons we already have. Every bit of the overtime pay we make goes to pay off the credit card charges so we can get out from under that mess. We have learned in 14 years to communicate better where our finances are concerned but it has taken us years to do that. We were both so used to doing our own thing with our own money that combining two households, two families, and two incomes really took some work. But we did it.
Have you looked into Consumer Credit Counseling, we did that and got rid of our credit cards several years ago. As we began to rebuild our credit, we have been very selective. I watch interest rates and never pay just the minimum on any of them.
I'm sure this is all stuff you have heard before, but it is the only way I know of trying to help.
As others have said, we are here to listen. Vent whenever necessary. Keep on doing the things you know in your heart are right and tell those kids you love them every day and that you and your wifes problems are their fault. They need to hear that from you.
Hope you check back here and read this.
Thinking only good thoughts for you.
Hugs all around,
Sherrlyn

Damn! I hate it when I proof read something and still screw it up.
Last post, last paragraph.
You and your Wife's problems are "Not" the kids fault. Let them hear that from you.
Sorry, will try to proof read better.
Hugs to all,
Sherrlyn

Oh holy shit, Tim...(pardon me Evelyn while I make a repeat performance of "Do as I say, not as I do!" axiom)...holy FUCKING shit, man. You'd better start lifting weights, 'cause when I see you at the play's opening, I am taking a running LEAP into your arms! (and I ain't no ballerina!) ;-)

And I hope everyone on this forum takes a little of that what some people call "saving grace" inside of themselves and that they KNOW that their presence here helped keep Tim on the planet. We all matter.

Is the warehouse section of town too far from your work? I'm contacting my friend, Adam, a thirty-ish guy with lots of co-workers who may need a roomie for a while. I'll email you privately with his information if you're interested in perusing some other options of residence. DUDE, you scared the shit outta me...

Ok, Evelyn, plump up the hide-a-bed coushions 'cause I'm on my way! WOO-freaking-HOO, girlfriend!!! You DID it! (I am so jealous!) Let's burn some bras while we're at it--I was too young to do that in the seventies...

HEY, and just WHERE does everyone get off thinking I'm such a hardass? My entire LIFE people have been telling me, "Ya know what you're problem is? (when I never thought I HAD any problems, nor recalled asking their advice...) You're too NICE, that's what it is!" SO, huh! Motherhood has hardened me. (If it'd harden my glutes I'd be happier~)

Incidentally, I was sick since last Thursday and didn't come into work, nor did I sign on from home. So thus my absence. Nice that Iwas missed though...awe shucks.

Ok, gotta fly...Peter, no hot air rec'd yet. Twas -2 F this am.

Hugs,
Dhiana

Thanks Sherrilyn and Dhiana...I'm plugging away. Email me if you have an address. The warehouse district is downtown but it'd be really cool. My commute would be opposite of traffic.

I'll be ready for the jump...

Tim

I REALLY LOVE YOUR WEB SITE. KEEP IT UP.