Paul's Corner

I Believe:
If you do something good for someone or something, it will eventually come back on you, triplefold.

I Believe:
Everything happens for a reason, therefore sit back and enjoy the ride.

I Believe:
That laughter makes even the toughest pill easier to swallow and smooths out life's path.

1. Nothing in life is certain - kind of makes everything a bit of an adventure

2. Communication and friends

3. Strangers taking time to perform kind acts or just smile at you as they pass.

Hi Everyone,

I always look at life with the classic triangle.
The pinicale is God.
The bottom two points are
Others
and
Yourself.

Margie

Wow, I really have to think about this...

1) Take some time to pamper yourself.

Everyone gets so caught up in life sometimes, we tend to put our wants and needs on the back burner.

2) Occasionally look at life from someone else's perspective.

This will always make you wake up and become more aware of everything and everyone around you.

3) Let yourself go nuts!

There are some days when I listen to music and just want to dance and sing and enjoy. Who cares if people look at you weird!!! LOL!

Carol xoxo

I'm with you, Paul, on the transitory nature of the three things that keep me sane/moving along. Those things I can identify today I've listed below.

As a preface, today I visited a friend who is suffering physically, mentally and emotionally. She came from an abusive background and she's had to be responsible for others all of her life. Now she's having a personal meltdown. She and I are alot alike and having been down that road before, I can pass on what I've learned. She just hit the wall later than I did.

1) I try to do something nice for myself each day and I remind myself that treating myself well is a necessity, not a luxury. I can't really take care of others if I don't take care of myself first. Like the instructions before airline flights — put your own oxygen mask on first, then put the mask on your child.

2) I recognize that problems are opportunities for growth, not personal indictments. I look for the lesson in each problem and I thank God for another day to learn.

3) I practice tuning in to my intuition and I'm learning to trust the information I receive. That inspires from me more honesty and openness in all of my relationships and I am rewarded with a greater faith in myself, in others and in God. (Just saw the movie "Signs" today. Very good film!)

When your childhood includes any form of abuse, these are especially difficult lessons to learn. The good news is that we can always learn to love ourselves and others.

My love to you all!

Diane

Okey doke...Dhiana's Three Things:

1) Focus on the Here and Now, and the Future. Let the past remain in the past. Move on.

2)Love heals all. Promote the Healing!

3)I have the elemental powers at my fingertips, to use as I need: Air to blow away Negativity (try this on a carousel or windy day); Fire to burn out ill feelings and remind you of the primitive, core essence of ourselves (don't forget the beers and friends with this one!); Water to wash our wounds clean (sit by a creek, take a shower, rent a canoe for a day); and Earth from which we came and to which we will return, a firm foundation that is ALWAYS there to hold us up (when's the last time you laid down in the grass and just watched the clouds??).

I am a child of the divine, and thus I, too, am divine. I remember that and use it, daily.

Peace,
Dhiana

I'm not sure there is a particular (hierarchichal) order to my three things, but here they are:

Feeling and being passionate about life, my friendships and other relationships, work, hobbies/play time--the whole experience of human life, if possible.

Fostering and living respect, honesty, trust, believing in the positive in self and others and have this be the basis of my relationship with myself and others, again in as many aspects of my life as possible.

Allowing myself enough "down-time" to relax, have fun and do something fun, be with friends (that whole drinking beer thing is growing on me, I'm more of a dry red wine person, but a good beer has something as well), take care of myself, so as not to loose myself in the demands of work and other external demands. This is where being passionate sometimes/often gets me into trouble... I guess I'm going for the healthy balance idea here.

Having put these "three" things out there, they are all a work in progress for me and don't happen consistently, but that's just the other thing to life, it changes and that's good. Keeps this lady on her toes! :) But at those times when they work together, it's magical and beautiful!

On that note, I need to go to work--perhaps I should create this magic there today. :)

Love yourself and others!
Evelyn

1. a phrase that becomes truer with every passing year....everything in moderation.

2. time is a great healer, but why wait.

3. think of others before yourself in all things
and you will feel like you haven't.

and, as dr. frankenfurter says in the rocky horror picture show....don't dream it, be it.

I agree the past should stay in the past... to a degree. I believe we learn from our experiences in the past and grow from them either for the better or the worse.... hopefully the better.
I believe we should keep an open mind. Each day can bring something new to our lives or we can bring something new to someone else's life.
I also believe we should be fair to others as well as ourselves.
So, I would have to say I believe in knowledge, understanding, and wisdom in that order.

Wow, these contributions have really blown me away! Each and every one is brilliant. I’m going to try a different set of three every week to check them out

As my starting point, today I believe in

1. Exercise. Walking, swimming, dancing! Gardening, sex, frisbee! A healthy mind needs a healthy body, especially when you’re giving it lots of treats (like you should) And in times of trouble, really hard exercise until the happy endorphins arrive.
2. Communication. On all levels. About what I’m feeling and doing, and what you're feeling and doing and hows the weather’s doing. Just so long as I speak it all somehow with someone, even if I have to share all the personal stuff with people I’ve never met, and keep the polite stuff for my loved ones.
3. Garbage! Get rid of all unwanted and out-of-date items. Every possession I own is a responsibility and who on earth needs more of that?
There’s no room for new thoughts while I hang on to the old ones.

Lots of love
Lesley

And a P.S for Paul, while you’re embracing the positive.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it well worth the effort!

Lesley, what is that saying about keeping a smile on your face making people wonder what you're up to? lol

It's not just a positive attitude it's a positive mind - a bit like having a clean kitchen no dirt and garbage (negativity) hanging around. When you are finished cooking up that wonderful life experience throw all the (as you put it so wonderfully)garbage out so you have heaps of room to create the next wonderful meal!

Something irks me about your comment Lesley: "a postive attitude may not solve all your problems" Perhaps it is that I think it can. Or perhaps it is that a positive mind see's the gift behind/within the problem and therefore a problem is not a problem but a journey that is more difficult than others ie the ones we dont see as problems.

Or perhaps it reminds me of when I discovered I was trying to use my postive attitude to bend the will of the universe in my favour - I lost!! However I did learn then that a positive attitude/mind/lifestyle is like the light emanating from our soul, it is not a tool to be used nor a weapon to attack and beat away the negative, it just "is": a personal and intimate expression of oneself.

Mmmmmmm....I will think on this more. Thankyou for your thoughts Lesley and to all.

Paul,
I love your positive attitude/mind/lifestyle!!! There's a lot I can learn from it. And I like your thinking on this.

and everyone else
I love what you wrote about your three things as well. Very inspirational!!! I think I might just have to print this discussion and hang it up in my apartment as a reminder.

Now I have to go back to drawing the real image for Paul. What a fun evening I have ahead of me :)

I have experienced what Paul is talking about. When I approach life with a positive attitude, I draw the positive to me. When I focus on the negative, I draw the negative to me. We create our reality.

On the other hand, I get what Lesley is saying and, though I think she said it jokingly, Paul, it's similar to your statement that you tried to force the universe to your will (hmmm, that sounds familiar!) Under those circumstances, a positive attitude doesn't solve all of your problems because it's a facade you've adopted to fool the universe. It isn't what you emanate.

But it is interesting to see people react to what you put out when you demonstrate true happiness and contentment. In some instances, it's almost as though it isn't permitted. "How dare you feel joy in such a miserable world!" It's sort of like your walks around your neighborhood, Paul, wherein you smile at others, but they can't respond. How sad! I experience the same thing too often on my walks with my dogs. Why are people so afraid to allow themselves love and joy and wonderment? Is it that they dare not ask for more than they know and understand?

Diane

I have also experienced the same response from people when I try to be friendly. I am not an extrovert by any means and it is disappointing when you try to be friendly and it is not returned. It is not just by strangers. I work night shift at a hospital. There is just a few of us on nights and we have been working together for a few years now. So you get to know each other pretty well. I have noticed that when you are friendly and sharing for no apparent reason they ask why? Almost as if you have an ulterior motive. There are a couple of people; after knowing their homelife they are a little unhappy, but I believe in general people are mistrusting.
I believe its the way things are today. I have children and I don't trust people who are overly friendly with them. Nowadays you have to be careful and I believe that is many people's view and that carries over into their reaction to everyone else. Another example: When I was fourteen my mother brought home a homeless young man we fed him and he helped out with some chores around the house and a couple of days later he went on his way. Now eighteen years later on the news there was a family back east who let a stranger spend the night and he murdered their five year old daughter. Not to bring up such a terrible story but these things happen and I believe everyone is on their guard. So... sometimes when you are avoiding the bad you can miss out on some good things too......

Paul

I apologise for interrupting this thread but I wanted to ask you - what is the difference between movement and dance and when does movement become dance? We are having a debate at work about our next theatre piece and I don't like movement (which we used last time) but love dance. I can't make a definable difference.

I got a copy of Life's Burning Desire for my birthday a couple of days ago and I have to say it's phenomenal energy has an amazing effect. Incredible to watch. When are you going to choreograph again? In fact I don't suppose you would be free to work with us next year would you - fancy a trip to Scotland? Only joking!

Would appreciate if you could let me have your thoughts about dance and movement though.

Thanks

Hi Paul and everyone else, nice to see your post again Ange...

Damaris, what a beautiful name. Being friendly and helpful, even to those we do not know does not preclude common sense. I felt so bad about the little 5 year old. Here her father was trying to do something nice for someone who was down on their luck and he seemed to do all the right things. The little girl even slept in her father's room while the homeless young man slept on the couch. All the dad did was use the restroom and look what happened. So terrible. I do hope that people don't stop being helpful, but do stop and think of better ways then to bring them where they live.

Joy can be experienced in every facet of our lives. Even in crisis. What we need to be showing the world is Joy. I feel that peace and joy come from our Creator. Others feel that peace and joy can be developed on our own. That we simply need to "be" joyful. I agree that the "vibe" we put out, is usually the one we recieve in return. Whenever I come across someone who is unpleasant and cross or doesn't want to share, whatever.. I just remember the old addage..."always be polite".

By the by, one of my mom's favorite expressions was "smile, nobody will know what you're really thinking". Hopefully our smile reflects our feeling accuratly. I still think that it is a very wise expression.

Interesting thread Paul.. hope it continues for a while...

Margie

I think about these kinds of things a lot; trying to reduce my life to simpler, more joyful goals. My three things:

1. Protect and nurture your happiness.
2. Say yes.
3. Wait until tomorrow before flipping out.

I have the hardest time with #3!

Cat, I like that #3 alot...... I have six kids.
Three are his, two are mine, and one is ours. I feel like I am "flipping out" every day! I'm really going to try to put that goal into practice! Thanks!

Paul,

breaking with this thread again, but it is the most active one. I just uploaded scanned versions of your/my/our image with commentary and questions to my work's web site which I just re-designed, thus the drawings are definitely only in their temporary home. I'll eventually move them over to my own site, whenever it will get done. I've worked on it like a deamon lately, but it is a big and complicated site. There most likely are still glitches on the work web site, but I'm most willing to wait to find out about this tomorrow. At least the site didn't completly de-construct. ... I of course expected that to happen, but am rather glad it didn't. :) I wonder why...

Everyone else is most welcome to look at it as well and give me feedback! Here's the URL:

http://www.cmedst.umn.edu/EvesArt.html

You can look at everything else on the CMS site if you want, (there are links at the bottom of that page) but there is no link from anywhere on the site to my drawings, and that's intentional!!!

Enjoy!

hey paul
I recently had a very close friend of mine die. She was only 17. She had so many good things in her life but she was really depressed. She took drugs and everything but she couldn't get through to anyone to them how she felt so my one thing about the pathway of life is that if anyone takes drugs or feels that they cant go on with their life to tell somone who can help you.
Take care PAUL and every1 else.
hear from you soon.
NESS

Hi Everyone!

I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I've written. I was trying to think of ways to describe meeting my birth mom to you all. But words wouldn't really come. So I've given it lots of thought and I'm back now. Thank you to everyone for your support and thoughts and prayers. Certainly all that positive energy being put out into the universe helped because she was wonderful!

Our meeting was really natural. It didn't feel uncomfortable at all, in fact it felt right. She was a beautiful person (and by that I do mean inside, but she was also beautiful on the outside). It was so comforting to meet someone who looked at the world similarly to me and who shared many of my mannerisms, quirks and personality traits. We will definately be keeping in touch.

The most valuable thing that I learned from my experience though, is that family has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with genetics. When I came home after meeting my biological mother, I sat down on my couch, cried, and was overwhelmed by how lucky I am to have been adopted. I've always known it, but this solidified for me that family is so much more than mannerisms and quirks; more than looking alike or talking alike, or even coming from the same place. Family is what you make of it. And despite the fact that my birth mother is a wonderful person, she will only ever be at most a good friend to me. I have a family. And they're lovely. I feel so blessed.

Ok enough of that update and me rambling on as usual. Here are my three comments:

1) Live your life with integrity and courage.

2) Never give up hope, nor faith in the power of the human spirit.

3) Follow your destiny wherever it leads you-- and always believe in yourself and your dreams.

Namiste,
Megan

p.s. Texas, you are in my prayers.

Hello, Everyone!

Evelyn, your artwork is very nice. I particularly like the third image of the "egg." I like the sharper image of the strands of soul because that speaks to me of strength and purpose. I ran these by my youngest son who is also an artist and he really liked that same image.

Vanessa, I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. You are so right about seeking out help.

The friend to whom I referred earlier in this strand is in that very dark place right now. I'm finding that it's difficult to know what to say or do to convince her that there is hope. When you wear ruts of despair in your mind and, in your friend's case, reinforce those negative ideas with drugs or alcohol, you can't see any light. I've just re-read Paul's poem about his brother and I recognize in my friend that same deluded idea that we can remove pain from others by removing ourselves from their lives in such a way. I will say some prayers for your friend and for you. And I would appreciate prayers for J.

Thanks!

Diane

Megan, I'm so glad you had such a good experience meeting your birth mum!!!! It's nice to surround yourself with nice people as part of the extended family/friends. I have found my "American family" and firmly established them in my life and it's a very good addition to my life and not just because I'm living in a different cultural context.

texas, I wanted to comment a while back, but never quite made it there. I've been thinking about you quite a bit, but had to face some memories from the past first. Several years ago, after being sexually assaulted by one of my professors, I was really sick and I had every single symptom for Hepatits C on the book and then some and it was a scary place to be in, doing the testing and waiting and of course feeling incredibly angry at him. While I ended up not having Hepatitis C but A or B instead (can't remember), all I want to say one can get through it and I hope that you are not overwhelmed and held back in your life because of it. Think positive!

To both Vanessa and Diane, I am sorry for your painful experiences and I will pray for you for strength, encouragement and that you will be surrounded by people who will lift you up as you help others and face your own pain and perhaps sense of helplessness. By the way, Paul, that includes you and your family and Russell's family as well. I had also wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you all and continue to pray for you as well.

Diane, I understand your difficulty in not knowing what to say or how to convince your friend that there is hope. I had the same problem with one of my former boyfriends (well he was probably more than just a "boyfriend") and it made me furious that I couldn't convince him that there was hope out there and that there are really good things that make life wonderful and worthwhile. I wasn't furious at him, just at my own sense of helplessness and perhaps the fact that I wasn't able to get through to him. He seems to be in a happier place now (I hope), he just got married--Yeah for him!!!!! I usually took it one day at a time or one situation at a time and I don't think there really is one way to help them, because it is those in the dark place that have to want to see the light/hope/joy. But I think it's equally important to make them feel safe about their experience in the dark place and not to deny them their feelings and experiences in our desparate attempt to make them see the positive that is out there. It's a fine line for us to walk, who want to help and support them.

Oh and Diane, the only thing I will say about image 1 or 2 vs. 3 is, it is the difference between a preliminary draft done in ca. 25 minutes and spending an entire evening on 3. I do like the expressivness of the "real" image (i.e. 3) as well, I just didn't expect it to turn out like that. But I also like the gentler quality that the draft has and I want to explore that a bit more and see what will become of that. I might not like it in the end, but I want to try it out and enjoy the experience of drawing it to the fullest. The digitally edited version (which I want to construct from several photographs I took over the years) will take a bit longer, since some of those photos are in Germany and Mum is looking for them and sending them to me, so as soon as I get them, I will get to work on that project as well. Okay, and don't anyone of you dare tell my thesis advisors about how much fun I'm having with this, time that I should be spending on writing my dissertation!!!! Although Ray would understand it, I'm not so sure about Cal. He's the "stereotypical" academic in some way and keeps putting pressure on me to be done with it already. He has a point, I want to be done, too, and will do so very soon. :)

Looking over what I just wrote, I think I created another set of three things for living:
1. Treasure your family (whichever way you want to define that term)

2. Think positive!

3. Lean on others when the going gets tough & support others who are in a tough place.

Have a wonderful day everyone!
Evelyn

I've found that the only thing you can do to/for friends who are in a down position is to JUST let them know you are there for them if needed. Take the two minutes to write them a REAL paper card and pop it into the mail. It'll surprise them. It will touch them. And it's more personal, frankly, than an e-mail.

Diane, I HAVE to agree with Cal on this one. FINISH IT! JUST FREAKING DO IT! Take the weekend, shut yourself inside the computer room, don't let yourself leave until you've got a major section done. Then go to the bathroom, get a drink, then shut yourself in again.

This is coming from someone who had all the course work done (while working full-time) and who had 90% of the thing done, and just couldn't discipline herself enough to do it. "Well, I got pregnant..." perfect time and impetus to FINISH the freaking thing, don't cha think? Well, you wouldn't BELIEVE the excuses I came up with. Now, 6 yrs later, the college and State have changed their policies, and I'd have to re-matriculate, and take all the courses over again. I BLEW IT! But that's ok for me, (sort of) because I couldn't handle a full-time teaching job that the degree would "Require" me (ok, that I would be qualified for) to have with such a young family.

So, go ahead and learn from my mistakes. Sure, take breaks to be creative, but DO IT. And invite us to the ceremonial paper trail burning afterwards, will ya?

Peace,
Dhiana

Dhina,

I will finish the whole Freaking thing!!! don't worry about that one. I guess I'm way too "stubborn" not to finish it now. :) I should be done with the writing by the end of the year (or sooner-yeah on that one!!) I guess what I'm objecting to re. my choices in the past and academia in general is, that it doesn't "allow" you the creative breaks and absorbes you and I have done that for the past few years and lost myself in the process and that can't be right either! Hence I'm trying to have these creative breaks (note in the evening, after spending the morning at work and the afternoon working/writing the thesis!!!) rather than also spending the entire evening on the thesis, I'm choosing not to buy into how academia works and lead a richer, more fulfilled life and sometimes advisors tend to forget that we grad students have a life as well and are not these intellectual entities they seem to sometimes reduce us to. Okay, I'm very cynical about academia lately... and re. the full time teaching job, I'm not sure I want to handle the full-time teaching job and I don't even have a family of my own at this point. I love the teaching side of the job passionately, but not the pressures and restrictions that come with the rest of the package. What were you getting your degree in?

Okay, time to work on work things.

vanessa: my condolences on the loss of your friend. i, too, had a very close friend die of a drug overdose when i was 17 (he was 20). it was the first time i had experienced a loss firsthand, and losing someone like that made me so angry at first -- yeah, i went through all those stages of grief. i remembered thinking how i never wanted to forget what he looked like or the intonations in his voice because i heard that can happen, so i would "hear" him over and over again in my head. well, it's been 12 years and i haven't forgotten a thing. i felt that if even one of our friends stopped doing drugs then it wasn't a waste, and i'm happy to say that happened. i am glad to hear what you are taking away from her death and sharing with us. take care.

megan: tears are so cathartic and truthful aren't they? glad to hear about your meeting and subsequent affirmations about your parents. both rewarding. and thank you for your thoughts.

evelyn: thank you for sharing your story. i'm currently thinking positive about being negative. i get tested on the 19th. it's been such a catalyst for truth between mom and me. i think initially it sounded scary to me because i was ignorant of it. diabetes is far riskier, but we don't give it a thought often because it's so well known. so my head is up. and, thanks for sharing your art - i enjoyed seeing the stages of evolution.

Hello Paul
Big mouth strikes again! I’m truly sorry if my comment on a positive attitude irked you. I really didn’t mean it to. Sometimes I find it hard to write what I mean and combine that with a notoriously tactless nature and it was only a matter of time before I put my foot in it. But I’m so sorry if I said something offensive or hurtful or just plain tactless.
The quote made me smile because it was like - I’m never going to get everyone enjoying my positive attitude but at least I can find the humour in the fact that they hate it. I just thought it was funny (famous last words). But then I’ve never been in the position when I desperately want someone else to be more positive. Maybe then, I wouldn’t find the joke in the least bit funny.

Anyway I didn’t get time to reply yesterday (a hot date picking up my children from nursery. Way hay ) But I did get time to sign on to your site briefly and so I felt terrible all evening. But as a test of everyone’s wonderful suggestions I went for a swim (sorry, just a personal thing!), thought about what I’d written and how it might have affected you (Carol no 2) did some positive thinking about what I can learn from this (Paul no 1), had a beer (Carol no1, Diane no 1), had another beer (ditto) , stopped before the third (Texas no 1) and rather than skulk away feeling guilty or defensive decided to stand up and be a woman and write this (Megan no 1)

Lots of love
Lesley

Wow there is a lot is a lot of interesting conversations here. It is a lot to take in and digest. I started to respond earlier but I had to log off and fix dinner for my family. I was getting long winded so it was a good thing. The loss was what stood out to me the most. I am the youngest of ten and I lost my oldest brother years ago. When someone is in despair they don't always reach out for help, sometimes you may not even see it. The mind is so complex its hard to understand the demons that they are experiencing.
It takes everything in you to be there for them and help. And its true theres never one way of helping......You just pray it does.
On the lighter side I tried to log on to your page, Evelyn, but It said page not found or something like that. But that was the other day so I will try again tonight before I go to work.

Paul:
Your positive attitude has inspired me to work on being more positive myself. This is my thought on PROBLEMS.
Problems are mathematical equations to be solved with pencil and paper. (never know when you may need to erase)
Everyday Life, Eternal Love, and Everlasting Friendships, these are the challenges we encounter One Day at a Time.
I'm still trying to figure out 3 things that keep me sane, on track, or just going. Will work on that list and see if I can narrow it down to just
3.
Megan: Delighted that things went well with meeting your birth Mom. But your right, it is more than giving birth to a child that creates the family unit. You have been blessed with your adoptive family.
Evelyn: Your interpretation of Paul's soul/egg analogy is very good. Will look forward to seeing it in it's finished form.
Here we have a saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." I have found this to be true of those I have known who have used drugs or alcohol to solve their emotional instability. All we can do is let them know we are there to listen, with a shoulder to lean or cry on, and sometimes a ride to the nearest clinic for treatment. Some of them will not seek out help until they have reached rock bottom and some will not even then.
Okay, enough of my soap box tonight.
Love to all, hope you are all having a good week.
This one has been long and will only get longer until the 15th, another tax deadline.
Hugs all round.

Hello, I'm probably barging in here but I thought I should just quickly post, in error or not:

I'm a teacher and I've taught "Strictly Ballroom" for a few years now (in my fourth year now! Incredible!) and I only recently found "Kick". Great great film, really gets conversation going in the classroom - gender roles, audio codes, what dance means in our lives... fabulous conversations abound!

And I guess that's why I'm here.... finding material to teach the film "Kick" for my overseas students who are (I hate to say it) a little "Alibrandi"ed out with some of the more popular films we study.

SO, searching searching. Then I discovered this site... and that Russell Page, the actor who makes all of my student swoon, is gone.

I guess I just wanted to say that I'll take that lesson with me to my classes as well. Because death is faced as an option by many young people and I still find the Shirley Hastings' "put on a happy face" and ignoring feelings is the way many schools think we should behave. Thankfully, where I'm at now has a more caring attitude, but since we're heading for final exams... much stress.

I add my heartfelt sympathy and I'm certain my students do to. What he brought to many (and what I'll still teach) is what dance can mean to us all. Belated thanks Russell for his great work in the film and to Paul M. too for letting such a talent take flight in the dance sequences.

Thanks for this short interlude, sorry if it's totally off topic.

Kiles.

Damaris,

I just checked the link again and I get to the page with no problem. Perhaps you tried to link to it yesterday, while it was 'down' for a few minutes several times during the day when I was uploading an updated version of the overall site. That's the only thing I can think off why you were unable to connect to it. Sorry about that! I had to make some changes and will have to do some more, (thus it might happen again that you cannot connect to it, but that should only be for a few minutes) because the University just adopeted new "Disability Accessibility Regulations" that includes web sites. Just wish I had known about this a few days ago and I could have met some of these requirements in the design process rather than having to go back now and re-do links and some design issues etc.. I have no problem with these changes, I actually think it's a very good and necessary thing to be inclusive and considerate of people with "disabilities" (I dislike that term and it's hierarchical implications!!!). Said enough for now.

Have a great day everyone!

Kiles, I too used classic film as a teaching tool,
but unfortunately retired from teaching before Strictly Ballroom was released. I found this great site for everyone who wishes to use film as a teaching tool, whether in the classroom or at home, when
one wants to evaluate the best classics for children.

Here is the site: www.teachwithmovies.org
Go to alphabetical order (S) and see what is said
about Strictly Ballroom.

Cat: When someone asked some friends of ours the
secret of their 50 year marriage, the husband said,
"Just say "yes, dear!"

Dear Paul,

Here are my three important things to life.

1)It's better to be active in the job that you like the least because jobs that you hate to do don't last, but good jobs (careers) last a lifetime. My point is: you still have a responsibility even if you hate your job.

2)Always have an open heart and have compassion to others.

3)Be willing to forgive, no matter how hard it is.

Sara

So many great motivators . . . found it difficult to raise my own list. Though it's not original, here goes:

1. Live
2. Laugh
3. Love

And hold no grudges . . . grudges only diminish you.

Lesley - and everyone for that matter please take note......

YOU CAN NOT OFFEND,IRK, UPSET, ANNOY, PISS ME OFF,LEAD ME DOWN THE WRONG PATH,ANGER ME ETC ETC ONLY I CAN DO THAT FOR MYSELF.

Enoung caps, I just wanted to make sure you heard it. My appologies to you Lesley - one hundred times - I should have made sure and it more clear that I was "irked" ie something in me shifted, moved and rumbled - you did not do it - you and this site helped me (as us all) to be open to information being taken in and hopefully move us to greater depths of understanding or assisting us to peel back the layers we hide behind. We are all here to grow and to nurture ourselves and each other.

Please dont feel you need to appologies because something you said helped me do that:)!

BTY we are allowed to disagree and we are allowed to discuss, debate and even argue if we want. Everyone has a voice, an opinion and the ability to chose to grow or not. If we get nervous about upseting someones apple cart then perhaps we will stop nurturing and supporting the growth of each other. We dont have to go out of are way to be arguementitive or negative but lets go out of our way to support each other.

Hey,
It's 9:00pm here in Ca. Noon Saturday in Aus.
I thought you were 18 hrs ahead. hmmmm

Well said above.

Let's do support each other. Everyday, everyway.
I like to "listen" to others opinions. They really are very interesting. We can learn so much from others. I've learned quite a bit already!! And...I've made 2 new friends!!! Thankx everyone for sharing thoughts and feelings.
Thank you to you Paul for sharing yours so openly.

LOL

Margie

Paul:
Your last retort is exactly the reason I keep coming back to visit. An open forum, to speak our piece, comment on other posts, wish each other well for whatever ails them.
The better half has even started checking in to see what is going on. I first accused him of being nosey but decided that he just might learn a thing or two from those of us who enjoy corresponding with you. A little enlightment never hurt anyone.
I visited the "Teaching with movies" site and was very impressed with what it had to say about SB and some of the other movies that I felt had a point to make.
Well, again hats off to you. Hope all is well at home and to the rest of this little gang of ours, have a wonderful weekend. We are supposed to have good chance for rain, we need it.
Hugs all round
Sherrlyn

Paul, thanks for your latest addition to the thread. It's important to be respectful of others without hiding yourself and your thoughts. My friend who has been hospitalized throughout this past week for her suicidal thoughts has to learn (as many of us do) how to feel safe in expressing herself and especially her anger. In my visits with her, I have become acutely aware of the absolute fury that runs below her sweet and oh-so-accomodating demeanor. The week has been exhausting and fascinating. Her pain has drawn my own out of the closet. And even though I feel I've been able to connect with her and pull her back to reality, it has been difficult to maintain my own equalibrium in the face of the current demands of my life and playing mom to her teenage son (who is a wonderful boy, by the way). Anyway, it's great to be able to get my own reality check here. So thank you all very much.

Have a great weekend!

Diane

Paul,

Recently, I got an e-mail from Monika. She saw you in Body & Soul. She thinks you're(I'm not being offensive) bald. I think it's not true. Please help me out, Paul.

Sara

PS: I hope your in good health

Paul,
Last weekend i went to my 30th High school reunion. I have spent the days since reflecting on the people we were and the people we now are. Life's highways are etched on our faces, in our haircolor, and our posture. I could tell those of us who have kept dancing, either at home or in public and those of us who laugh. there is just something so important about mental attitude. By the way, I had an e-mail about yur hair, too. big deal..

Paul,
Last weekend i went to my 30th High school reunion. I have spent the days since reflecting on the people we were and the people we now are. Life's highways are etched on our faces, in our haircolor, and our posture. I could tell those of us who have kept dancing, either at home or in public and those of us who laugh. there is just something so important about mental attitude. By the way, I had an e-mail about yur hair, too. big deal..

Hey Paul,
I got the e-mail too. Yeah, so what! Some of us have lost some hair, some of us have gained some weight, like me unfortunatly, hopefully, we've gained some wisdom and maturity. I still got a really big chuckle though..

Care to comment?

Love ya anyway....

Margie

Hi Paul,

I don't know if you tried to look at "the image" over the weekend, but I noticed Saturday evening that the server in History which hosts the CMS website that I referred you to in an earlier post, has been down all weekend, and I really have no control over that. Thus I stayed up half of last night to get my own site tested and up on the web (at least as much of it as exists at this point) and you can now go look at the images at

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~meye0289/Drawings.html

the site's general URL is http://www.tc.umn.edu/~meye0289 and under "Personal Interests" I posted things about myself as well as some of my other art work, in case you are interested. The rest of the site is more about my professional activities, work etc.

I hope that this university mainframe computer doesn't go down, because otherwise I'm going to scream and/or cry!!!!

I posted a few questions to you Paul along with the images (they are all in red color), but I'll add them here as well.
1. May I use your name in my desciptions of these images, since you had something to do with them (feel free to look at what I wrote there first and if you don't like it, don't want your name on there, let me know and I will take if off. All my other friends and colleagues who are named in my site, get the same choice. Thus it is your choice to make not mine!!!)
2. May I use your description of the image as you first posted it in the other thread? In general I have described the inspiration for my art projects and thinking behind it, so I would like to do it here as well, but if you'd rather not have me do it, then that's totally fine as well and I will respect your decision.
3. The name....

So far only you guys are aware of this site being up, and I won't even let my sister or friends know that it's up, until I made adjustments to the Drawing.html file.

Have a pleasant Sunday everyone!

Sara, I found your "are you bald" post so cute because yesterday I saw the movie XXX starring the beauifully bald Vin Diesel. VAVAVOOM!! Incidently, XXX was produced by the #1 media giant, FOX.) Bald is very hot in Hollywood these days, e.g., Bruce Willis or Eddie Murphy .

and let's not forget ben kingsley...did you see sexy beast? but, hey, it doesn't matter what disposable hollywood deems hot, right? i'm trying to imagine a look where paul wouldn't look hot....hmmmm. can't think of one yet....god, i love the imagination ;)

Jozie Lee & Texas,

Thanks for your comments and yes Ben Kingsley is the same one who played Moses as well as Potiphar.
The comments that you typed made me giggle. I will still be Paul's fan even if he did lose some hair. I may be shocked at first, but I will get use to it. Do you know any other actors who are bald?
I haven't seen XXX yet, but Vin Diesel has a cool tattoo on his head. Come to think of it, I think he makes me wanna swoon. Don't forget about Dr. Evil in the'Austin Powers' movie.

Hope to hear from you.

Sara

PS: Don't forget to see 'Austin Powers in Goldmember'. Groovy, baby!!

Bald!!!!!!!!!!

I have sent a picture to Cat which she may put up so as to calm the situation down.

By the way - if you all start thinking about me going bald, how much of that energy out in the universe may come down to haunt me and start stealing my hair?

Ange, sorry to take so long to answer your question - what is the difference between movement and dance? I was going to say they are the same thing, movement is dance and dance is movement, and while that is true there is a bigger difference. My wife read your post - she does occassionally read what goes on here - and she said to me anyone can do movement but not any one can dance. She defined the difference as a higher ability through training and talent. The true art and spirit of dance as an art form and a wonderful tool of communication belongs to those that have trained long and hard - my training started at nine, I became a pro at 18. You dont need to be a dancer to move but you need to be a dancer to dance and to be a good dancer or a great dancer takes a lot of time, dedication and pain to get there oh and some talent certainly helps.

Evelyn, the drawings are fantastic!!!!!! I love all of them. This egg image came from a book I read many years ago and I am not completely certain if it is the right book, but I think it was "Seth Speaks" written by Jane Roberts. It appealed to me very strongly and has stayed in my mind ever since.

I am happy for you to include what I said if that is your wish. As far as naming it... I am happy to have inspired you - the image however came from your soul and spirit, I think the name should also come from you.

Anyone else with three things?

i'd say that dance requires rhythm, a syncopation to a beat, whether in your head or in your ears. however, i have seen people with absolutely no rhythm dance -- set their limbs free in the park on a summer day. i agree that dance can be elevated to art through training and storytelling, something paul does so well i can't find the adjectives. yet, at it's essence, dance is a primal release of emotion and reverence and communication that requires no rhythm, just that you do it without thinking about what other people are thinking when they see you do it. i haven't commented on movement because when you set in motion an involuntary action like winking or walking, that's movement, but perhaps i have not understood the question as i should.

Bald is very sexy!

It is so much better than those ugly toupees and certainly way better than those horrendous comb-overs!!!

Bald or not, Paul is still Paul. He still possesses the talents that we admire and the modesty to talk to us all freely here - how many famous people would do that??? :-)

Thank you Paul!

Carol xoxo

Paul--

I put the picture up with your candid photos, and put a link to the page on the front of the site. For those interested, here's a direct link to the photo. Bald indeed!

C

P.S. I'm with the Bald Is Sexy crowd!

Thanks Cat, that should fix all those rumor mongers!!

As for the direct link mmmm..... www.paulmercurio.net is where it is at.

Ah the embarrassement of it all!!! The direct link is working now!!

Looking good dont you think?

I know several bald men and bald IS sexy. But, hang on... Is that BLONDE hair on Paul or am I going blind? (It's sad how dense I can be at times.) I've put some blonde coloring back into my hair and ya'know, I AM having more fun! So, you go, Paul!!!

Jozielee, I went to see XXX with my sons and their friend. Not much of a story, lots of great stunts, but that Vin Diesel is a big cuddly bad boy, huh?

Ohm!

Diane

Hello everyone,

A lot of time has passed since I was last here. Summer is a busy time for us. Many of our fruits and vegetables come in this time of year and
something must be done about them. But the heat is finally beginning to press and I find myself longing for more Castillian ways, an afternoon siesta or some long cool late nights. I don't know why we Americans insist on defying nature so. Perhaps it is too much air-conditioning.

Paul, I was sorry to hear about the death of your friend. I send my condolences. So often I don't understand the choices other people make. I try to put on their shoes, but I just can't get far enough past my own prejudices or values or psyche. I don't know. People often leave me dazed and confused. You seem to posses the gifts of empathy and understanding, though. I hope you had an opportunity to console his family. Sometimes a close friend can be a pilar and a vessel for a family still reeling from an unexpected death.

THREE THINGS: I must say, you propose such interesting subjects for discussion. Here are my three things. I do have more to say but I will leave off for now.

1. Embrace all "mankind" but love, nurture, and protect my children and my family above all else. I am not deaf to my own human maternal nature. To do so would only make me uneasy and unhappy.

2. Live honorably. In other words, practice what I preach. It is essential to my definition of self to take responsibility for my actions and values.

3. Question life. It is very important to me to think critically about the myriad answers I find out there to my questions. Written and spoken words can as easily be lies as truth. And someone else's rationalization can be a dangerous thing to me (as well as them in my opinion).

How strange. The thing that surprises me most is how little I had to think about this question. I wonder what that means.

Allright, proving, once again that I am a total freak of nature...I clicked on the link and was like, "Yup, that's Paul, still cute as ever...but LOOK at that garden! Wonder if that's a pool he's sitting in front of? How did they get the tile edge like that? Are those plants oxygenating the water or just "for looks" plantings?..."

PATHETIC, I realize...*sigh*. I guess I'm just interested in the beauty that I could recapture in my own backyard moreso than Mr. They Could Cut My Head Off And I'd Still Look Good. ;-)

Perseid Meteor shower tonight...I dreamt of comets last night too. Hmmm...

Peace,
Dhiana

I've missed you Heather, welcome home.

Geeze some people just arent happy. First I'm bald, then I'm blond and now it's my garden!!!

Two months ago I decided I wanted to see what my head looked like without hair so with the help of my brother - Joseph - and a good mate - Steve -we set about drinking some beer and shaving my head. Had the whole family in the bathroom drinking and partying. The kids helped too!

The blonde is in fact sunlight bouncing off my freshly shaved noggin!This was my Buddha impersonation:)

I recommend everyone try it at least once!

ps it is a pond with about 70 gold fish and a few plants in it. It is very peaceful especially with my three stone Buddha's surrounding the area sending out their smiles and wisdom.

love the shaved noggin. buddha never looked so good.

Seems like I missed out on a fun and rather rapid discussion over the weekend--oh, the polite way to begin would have been with a greeting. So Good Monday morning / afternoon / evening / or perhaps Tuesday morning to all of you!! [Okay, I'm confused on the US-Australian time zone issue, Europe I can handle...] But aside from working on my website, I managed to spend Saturday afternoon with my one-year-old love of my life (God he’s soooo adorable and puts life into perspective… and his dancing, of which we did plenty on Saturday, is so funny!!!) and Sunday with my friend Arsena at the Irish Fair with lots of good music and dancing. If I did anything according to Paul’s definition of movement and dancing, it would be movement, but I’m not even sure it qualifies for that. J

Okay, I like the picture of "the shaven Paul, " although I don't think I will ever do that for myself. The thought of having to look the same on a daily basis in terms of hair styles terrifies me and according to my Mum even when I was very little, I created hair styles and braided my hair in every possible way I could come up with and other things one can do with hair. Thus my current length (fluctuating between chin and shoulder length :) ...) is incredibly short for me!!!
And I love the garden with the picture of the "shaven Paul". It does look like a very calm and peaceful place. This just intensifies my longing to have a garden myself, but I will have one eventually.

Paul, I'm glad you like the drawing(s) and since you asked me to draw this for you, you should also have one of them. Is there a "neutral" place that I can send it to where you will get it, without you having to reveal where you really live? Sorry can't think of another way to put this, because I do respect your private life... I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, because I'm not sure that I put that very well. And thank you for letting me use your description and name with the images. Damn! so I have to name it, too. Hmmm .... will have to think about that one and look at your suggestions as well. There is a name floating around in my mind somewhere, but I don't know if it is the one for this image.

Since I just started reading "Seth speaks" a few days ago, one of four or five books I'm reading concurrently right now, I will look for what Seth has to say about it. It is a very intriguing image and after first reading your description of it, it took me several days to grapple with it in an attempt to understand it. I'm not sure why the egg as locus / embodiment of the soul troubled me as much as it did initially, but it seems that on some level I've warmed up to the idea. I'm not sure I'm done with that process yet, since different things seem to come up when I think about this image, life, the soul etc.

Okay, enough for now.
Love to all,
Evelyn

Oh, Paul. You can be bald, blonde, whatever you want to be. I agree with everyone else here that you look great every which way. I also agree with Dhiana that your garden spot looks enviable. We have a Buddha in our garden and a little one for the shelf in Jacob's room.

But, no. I don't think I'll ever shave my head. I noticed just last week that it seems sort of flat at the back of the crown. Jacob agreed. I'd just look warped.

Question life. I like that, Heather. That's why I gravitated toward Judaism. I hope that my children will always be willing to wrestle with issues and help to move us forward in our understanding. (Rabbi Kushner has a new book out called Living a Life That Matters. Just started it and it's great.)

Diane

Evelyn, there is a contact address on the home page. It is for my agent in Australia. Anything sent to her is passed on to me.

Let me know if you find the passage in Seth Speaks. I am pretty sure it came from there but it could have come from another book also. And I am very excited to think you would send me an image - I will put it in my office near where I work..... I wonder what you will call it???

Bty as I recieved news that I would start filming just after shaving my head I was not able to keep it shiny. It has grown back - with no bald spots thank you very much: do I sound defensive????:) I would do it again tho!

Glad to hear there're no bald spots [trying to hide a small grin]. Believe me, Paul, there's not a one of us who wouldn't want to run their hands over your clean-shaven head or your thick locks. Makes no difference to any of us.

Paul, I will send it there then, but I will do the softer version first and then perhaps you will have to chose which one you prefer, or I will depending on what I feel like that day. :-) And with regards to the name of it, PATIENCE, MY DEAR!!!! I have the hardest time coming up with titles, and for every conference paper, course paper, thesis I have written so far in my life, I've had the paper, thesis written before I could come up with a title. It usually happened 5 minutes before the paper was due and I was sufficiently backed into a corner ... So if you change your mind about me naming the image, please feel free and give it a name (Me laughing and broadly smiling as I type this).

You must have a pretty big office, since you seem to be putting a lot of things in there, or else your walls and everything else in there must be cluttered, and that leaves me wondering how the hell you get any work done :)

When I find the passage in "Seth Speaks" I will let you know, even though it might take me a while to get through it, since it's not a particular fast read for me. I have to stop and think about what I just read constantly and there's also the sceptical part of me that keeps interfering and keeps making me nervous about this book.

Paul:
I just figured you had shaved your head, not to worry. My son lost a bet with his track coach while in High School over the outcome of the discus throw at a weekend meet. Yes, the head got shaved. It started out with clippers and a buzz cut then went with lower guards and finally with the help of two of his friends they finished with the shaving. He had such a bumpy head, but it grew back in hardly no time and was thicker and had more body than before.
I also know that it is customary for the Hispanic people to shave the heads of newborn baby girls if their hair is thin or fine. I've had several women tell me that it is the only way to have thick, well bodied hair.
So, good luck and shave it off again if the urge so strikes. It will grow back.
And as for the 3 things that keep me going I'm afraid that they are not original.
1.Live life to it's fullest. You never know when it will be cut short.
2.Love. Tell those nearest and dearest to you that you love them, tell them everyday or as often as you see or talk to them.
3.Laugh. Laughing keeps you healthy. It's a proven fact.
I told you they weren't original but that's my three today.

Oh, one more thing. I tried that "Smile and the whole world will wonder what you have been up to" for about 2 years in college. It worked. Everyone wanted to know what was so funny, or what prank I had pulled and hadn't been caught at.
It was really cool!!!
Gotta Go
Hugs all Around
Sherrlyn

My three things.

1. Listen to everything, the earth, the sky and the living creatures in between.

2. Consider the motive, your own and that of others.

3. Logic is personal not universal, don't assume everyone thinks like you.

love to all!
Innussiq

Paul, rumors can spread like wildfire, can't they? When someone is willing to listen theres always someone willing to talk; whether its true or not. My husband one summer shaved his head. He also wanted to know what he would look like. It's just hair. You know what?
It grew back... :)

Dear Paul,
How do you radiate such serenity? I am eighteen years old and about to start college. Every day I doubt whether I know anything at all. My plan is to major in theatre, which some have told me will be too difficult for me since I am in a wheel chair. We'll see. Maybe, if I can write a decent screenplay, you and I can act together, Paul! :)
What are the three most important aspects of life to remember? Hmmm...Can I have a cheat sheet? Here is a tentative list:
1)Appreciate the beauty in life.
2)Do not forget laughter.
3)Never hesitate to pursue desires.

Paul, your posts regarding accepting change and loving one's body are particularly inspiring to me. Those are major trouble spots in my life.
Bye,
Jill

Paul and all you other thoughtful people,

This is (almost) my first post here so I hope it's not too silly. I have enjoyed reading everyone's "three things" and have been thinking about them for myself ever since this thread started. I hope they don't seem too shallow and self-centered. They do come from much reading and thinking: Plato: Know thyself. Thomas Merton: If God knows and loves you, shouldn't you, too? Shakespeare (paraphrased): To thine own self be true; then it follows as night the day that thou canst not be false to any man.

1. Know yourself. (The unexamined life is not worth living.)
2. Be yourself. (This takes, sometimes, much courage.)
3. Love yourself. (If you don't love yourself, you can't love others.)

Thanks,

Caroline

jill, you are waaaay ahead of the game if you are doubting everything at age 18. i knew everything then. i didn't realize that i know next to nothing till like yesterday (okay, last year), and i'm 29. and again, at least you know what you want to major in. i think mine changed a couple times, and i'm now working in a career that has little connection with it. the people who say it's too hard or you can't are sitting in the aisle, you got a window seat.

caroline: well put.

Hi Paul and everyone

Thanks for the comments on dance and movement - does make dance sound very elitist but I'm sure we shall have more heated debate at our next company meeting!

Having a really ***** (or to be more polite rubbish) day today but I read this and I wanted to share with you all. It's something I think I should have framed to remind me of what I should always aspire to be as I achieve none of this...

Give of yourself to those in need: a meal cooked, a hand held, a back washed, a laugh shared. Give what is precious: your time, your compassion, your strength, for giving is the salve that heals humankind...

By the way, just to be contentious I think all bald men should be rounded up and kept in a compound a safe distance from the rest of society. Let's face it, bald men are a danger to the public. Have you seen the way the light bounces off their shiny heads. That can easily blind a car driver.

And before everyone has a go at me I have a couple of really bald friends (0ne I'm ashamed to admit is my best friend) and yes I have done everything I can for them including offering to lend them money for plugs or a wig! What more can a girl do!

Ange

Ange - Two examples of why bald is beautiful, Paul Mercurio, Vin Diesel. Enough said.

thanks diane ane evelyn,
i appreciate your sympathy and paul im also sorry to hear about your loss aswell. my greatest thoughts and feelings are with you.
take care every1 and especially paul.
love from vanessa
xxoo

Hey Girls,,,

If ya like Vin Disel, check out Pitch Black. He plays a real meanie.. Bald is beautiful, only if you've got a nice shaped head. Most don't. Paul, you do. I'll bet it got cold though. You've got a lot of hair...must have taken a while.

Still on the three things. I really loved what the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians a couple of thousand years ago...
1st Cor. 13 vs 4-7,13
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jeaous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not iratable and it keeps not record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,and endures through every circumstance. There are three things that will endure-faith, hope and love-
and the greatest of these is love.

Lets all contine to to have faith, hope and love.

Margie

Hello Everyone

I was sent this yesterday and even though I’m thinking you may have all seen it already, it was new to me and I thought it kind of fitted with a lot of the things that have been said – and it gives me a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye.
It was written after the events of September 11th, a memorable day for the obvious reason – and also because that very same day at the very same time, I gave birth to my youngest son.

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time, that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly, and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would videotape each action and word, so I could play them back each day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance to make everything just right.
There will always be another day to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

Love
Lesley

P.S Don’t forget Yul Brynner when he was young. God he was beautiful!

Oh, Lesley...nothing like making me BAWL at 9:14am! I have seen this before, and thus had to skip over some parts so I didn't totally dissolve, as I *am* at work afterall!

This was very timely however, as my husband has been feeling neglected as of late (hey, girls, it's 95 degrees out and I had been working up to what proved to be a REALLY ESPECIALLY spectacular time of the month, if ya hear me...)so cuddly smooshy "Oh come to me dahling..." times have been few and far between, if not non existent all together. (He'd vote for nonexistant I'll bet.)

SO, I'm glad he got up with me this morning, and I'm glad I spent ten minutes in the kitchen smooching--while he stirred beets (how romantic, right?) Hey! I'm telling you it's HOT! So he's home canning vegetables in the cooler hours and I'm at work--in the air conditioning ;-) But thanks for the reminder of how precious life is...and more importantly to let the ones who matter KNOW what they mean to us.

Love,
Dhiana

PS. And Paul, let me just reiterate that I thought you just ADDED to the beauty of your garden, not that I passed you over entirely! ;-)

Dhiana, your message made me laugh!!! I too am at work (now I'm off the clock, yeah!!) & was rather bored all morning, since I couldn't work on any projects that I need to work on, naturally against deadlines, but am waiting for faculty to get back to me on conference planning, setting up guest lectures etc. and without their input there's nothing I can do. Guess what about 30 minutes before I was supposed to leave work one of them called with this incredibly long list of things for me to do TODAY. Figures! I did the most important things, the rest can wait until tomorrow.

And Lesley, the first thing that popped into my head after reading your post: "What a day to have been born!" or "What a day to give birth!" but I guess one never chooses that one. I had read this before, but it always is a good reminder, so thanks.

Now I'm going to work on my own stuff, so that Dhiana won't send me dirty looks or so that she will be pleased that I'm finishing my dissertation. By the way, Dhiana, you are most certainly invited to the paper buring ceremony, which of course will include other aspects of celebrating as well. (Hey, anyone else around at that time, please come and join the party!!!!) Dhiana, can we change one detail? I don't want to burn the paper, I just want to run it through the paper shredder and then put it all into a very big bag and recycle it. I think that would be more fun for me and it would lengthen the purging process :)

Simply put:

1. We are all the same on the inside, different on the outside. Those
differences are our beauty. Celebrate, enjoy, embrace, and respect
all that is beautiful in all that surrounds you.

2. You can only find peace by first accepting yourself and not trying to live
up to what others believe you should be. Take the path you believe you
should be on in life. If you try to take every fork in the road people push
you down trying to make everyone happy, you will only wind up being
pulled apart.

3. Dare to dream and strive to reach those dreams. The only goal that is truly
unreachable, is one that you do not attempt or try for. I tell my son a
thousand times a day, with support, hard work, and a little luck you can
do anything you set your mind, heart and soul to.

Keep a positive attitude and believe!

D Lo

My son Jacob was also born on September 11th thirteen years ago. He'll be lighting one of his candles at his Bar Mitzvah celebration for those who perished last year on his birthday.

I finally watched Life's Burning Desire last night after everyone was tucked in. It arrived about 2 weeks ago, but my life has been too hectic and I wanted to be relaxed enough to really enjoy it, which I did, very much. All of the women in it were good, but Andrea had such precision and radiated such strength. Beautiful!!! Oh, and Paul, you were wonderful, too!

Bye for now.

Diane

On recycling the dissertation...perchance they are using recycled materials to pave the floor of lavatories nowadays? Or am I being too negative?

Oh, allright then...they could use it to make benches at the park for old folks...is that better? "Oh look, here comes a pretty dove...come to rest on the bench, and oh! There it goes...and how sweet...it left us a "present"..."

(But I don't hold grudges, honest!) ;-)

The Evil Dhiana
(bwahahahahaha...)

Dhiana (definitely NOT evil!, but more on that in a bit), this last post of yours made me laugh even harder!!!

To comment on what you wrote: I keep forgetting that this glorious (or sometimes not so glorious) country of yours does not do so much about recyling and esp. recyling paper. In my country (hahaha), we do that and you can buy recycled paper. It's not as pristinely white, but who cares!!! It works just as well and doesn't kill as many trees. Now having said that, I'm really wondering why the U makes us recycle paper. I'm not sure what they do with the paper to be recycled. Enough on that topic!

Okay, re. the Evil in front of your name, you can't lay claim to that!!!! It's mine, & it was given to me by one of your countrymen shortly after my arrival 11 years ago (oh boy, it's been that long???); and of course there is a story behind that one: When I arrived in the US, I had a very nice British accent (now unfortunately long gone... me very sad about that one!) and thus I also introduced myself using the BE pronunciation of my name which is a lot closer to the pronunciation of the word "evil." Thus they started calling me "evil woman" and this label is mine to have, not yours (just kidding, I'd be glad to be rid of it :-) ... and now I also know where that little bird present came from! Oh what powers you have, goddess Dhiana!

on the recycling tip: mayor bloomberg has ceased recycling glass and plastic in NYC to save $$$. that's no good.

Hey I think that the three things for living is so true in the eyesight of God. I believe everyone should have happiness in there lives and be love one another in grace of God.

Constance

Yes, beware of our "recycling programs". Often they are not what "they" would have us believe. In So. California, at least, if you don't have a MRF, Materials Recycling Facility, in your area your recycling efforts may be merely prepatory. "They" claim to be getting people ready for the day when these services become available. But, while people want recycling technologies, they don't want the ugly, noisy facilities which provide these services, at least not in their backyards. I spent my college years in the environmental studies program, getting all fired up about "saving the planet", then I turned right around and watched the city I lived in fight tooth and nail to squash an MRF program in a neighboring city. The city won! So now people separate their trash (so they can feel good about themselves I guess) and when the garbage man comes, the recyclables get dumped right back in with the refuse. Once again I am left dazed and confused.

Hello to all: Sounds as tho we are off on another tangent, not that it isn't a good one to be on.
We too went thru that recycle thing, ours was called the blue bag program. All recyclable items went into these little blue bags. The regular dumpster people would come 2 days a week and a truck to pick up the little blue bags would come once a week. Even the grocery stores got involved and started using blue plastic bags for groceries to help in the process. It didn't last 2 years. It was costing the city millions to sort and find vendors willing to take all this material off their hands. Now we have 3 places where we can take the recyclable material, Big Dumpsters labeled as to what should go into each.
I have 5 30 gallon trash cans on my back patio, one for each type of material we can give back. Once a month dh takes them down to the center and empties them. Where it goes from there no one seems to be able to tell us. I figure it still winds up in our landfill anyway.
Worked till late last nite so plan to get to bed early. Hope all is well with everyone out there, have a good weekend.
Paul, I think we deserve a recent photo with hair, tho not bad without.
Hugs all around
Sherrlyn

Hi All,

I agree with Sherlynn!!!

Margie

Hey there to everyone!

Hmm... I'm a bit behind here, but Paul: I liked the shaved head very much indeed. And like some of the others, I was fascinated with the garden-- although not too terribly distracted by it as I was getting a good chuckle out of the adorable "Buddha" impression.

You suggested that we all shave our heads? I'm not sure how that would look on me...haha... although I imagine it would be liberating. And perhaps if I shaved my head like the Buddha, my belly would also become fashionable? :)

Jill: I have so much respect for you; and I'm with texas- never let anyone tell you what you're capable of and what you're not. You have to listen to your own heart and let it be your guide- it's the only voice that really matters. But it sounds like you've already figured that out. And after all, it's your life!! So let yourself shine and live it up!

Recycling: What a good tangent for this week!

And Paul, I'm with Sherlynn: post a new picture! Although like i said before, I liked this one quite a bit as well.

Cheers,
Megan

Hmmm, didn't think my desire to recycle my diss. eventually would trigger all these comments. After I had made my request to Dhiana to change the detail as to how to get rid of the paper, I noticed from her response that I clearly made my comment from a more "German cultural framework" and just wanted to explain that to her/everyone else. On that note, I have to throw in one more thing on this topic. Of course in German we have this wonderful long compound noun to describe the "US's lack of recycling", which is "Wegwerfgesellschaft" and while it doesn't translate all too well, here it is: "the-throw-away-society." Okay, you may begin throwing things at me--but I'm used to it, my students do it all the time, when we get to that part in German class and I shall wear my protective gear now. :)

Of course I also want to rope this tangent back into the topic of this thread, if only I knew how .... Hmmm. I guess the only thing to say about this is to be respectful of the earth, sky, water, fire and think about how we use these resources. Whatever mess we create and leave behind will be more of a problem for our children than for us [Can anyone please get that into Bush's brain????--sorry, I really don't want to talk politics, but am rather disgusted with his views and environmental politics (and others).]

Ha, join the crowd Evelyn. At least I hope a crown is forming. I can't believe people in this country truely want polluted groundwater, corporate welfare, or governmental free reign to suspend anybody's rights so long as someone accuses them of crimes against the state. And we have the audacity to complain about human rights violations in Egypt and China. Bush is completely out of touch. And what's worse, he doesn't even care. I heard once that, like his father before him, he takes pride in the fact that he doesn't pay attention to poles. So much for a represtative democracy. Congress is too scared to reign him in for fear they will be labeled un-American. I don't like this resurrection of a "My country right or wrong" attitude. Bush really scares me!

and i thought it was bad when he was gov. of texas. but i'll spare you my tirade. i'll just ditto the above.

"Wegwerfgesellschaft." great word. wish i could say it. i agree, evelyn, we do live in a disposable society. from cameras to marriages, americans can "just get another one." we gotta change our thinking.

going to my second ballroom dance class tonight. last week, foxtrot, this week...waltz.

Welcome Jill,thanks for thinking enough of us and our ravings to join us! I suspect that when we are born we already know everything!!! By the time we are old enough to use that information - the fountain of knowledge - we have well and truely forgotten it - unlearnt it? - the point of life is to not know everything but to constantly make discoveries about ourselves, our friends, our families, our gods, our living. Have no expectations or 'shoulds' they lead to a mind closed to discoveries. That is why I say be open to change, for more likely than not once you discover one thing about yourself it will probably change leading you to another wonderful discovery about yourself.

As far as accepting your body - someone posted that old truism: love yourself - Do you love who you are Jill? You are a person worthy of discovery, worthy of love. If you love yourself then accepting your body will be part of that love and although you may not like it or want it (normal feeling for anybody and valid feelings too) loving who you are is all embracing and other people will be warmed by your loving attitude - they may even call you serene, even if you dont feel it all the time:).

As for recycling....Hmmm...can we recycle our beliefs? Is it good for us? or should we move on to new and improved versions with no rubbish left behind.... I am trying to get back to three things....

Paul-Paul-Paul
Thank you so much for the photo of your "aquired" baldness, but really---no ones looking at your hair or lack of it! Theyre all looking at your incredibly expressive sexy eyes. I recently found this site and started reading alot of the posts and nowhere did I see anyone just come out and say what we all are thinking! Sex Symbol! Yes you are a sex symbol! One look from those incredible eyes could drop a girl to the floor-- but the best part ive discovered after reading your stuff is that you are sexy on the inside also. Va Voom!
Bravo to your wife!-- shes got you! Its nice to know you are a great and wonderful guy outside of the characters we've seen you play in the movies!

Paul-Paul-Paul
Thank you so much for the photo of your "aquired" baldness, but really---no ones looking at your hair or lack of it! Theyre all looking at your incredibly expressive sexy eyes. I recently found this site and started reading alot of the posts and nowhere did I see anyone just come out and say what we all are thinking! Sex Symbol! Yes you are a sex symbol! One look from those incredible eyes could drop a girl to the floor-- but the best part ive discovered after reading your stuff is that you are sexy on the inside also. Va Voom!
Bravo to your wife!-- shes got you! Its nice to know you are a great and wonderful guy outside of the characters we've seen you play in the movies!

BLUSHING!!

ps I am lucky I have my Wife!!

I'll definitely go with Jeanne on your eyes, Paul: gorgeous, intense, & beautiful, sometimes a bit unsettling to me, but definitely very expressive and sexy (now I'm the one who is blushing... good thing you can't see that.)

Recycling beliefs--you definitely have a way with words! Is there a difference between passing down beliefs and recycling them? Of the top of my head, I think there is. Passing them down is what humankind seems to do all along (not necessarily bad, but not entirely free of a problematic potential either), passing on what has always been believed, seems to have gained validity over time (validity for whom, though?) and I associate with this passing down of beliefs that we don't necessarily know how "we" got to accept these beliefs, how they gained validity etc. As to recycling them, this is somewhat different (in my mind), because I think that when we recycle "material," we use it, but recreate it somewhere/somewhat, even though it is still close to what it originally was, thus perhaps the changes in our recycled beliefs will be subtle, but changed nonetheless. Is it good for us recycle them and/or move on to new improved versions, or perhaps even entirely new beliefs? I guess that depends on the situation, but generally I would go with a definite YES!!! Definitely get rid of the rubbish! If only I knew how. Much has shifted in my life lately and I'm excited about it, feeling much more alive and full of energy and I think I'm doing a bit of everything, recycling beliefs, moving on to new ones and dropping the rubbish. It is interesting that you posted this yesterday, since I was asking myself, what am I going to do with all these great ideas that people posted in this thread, other than read them, enjoy them and absorb them. Haven't gotten very far on that one, so I can't answer this question. (You definitely had a better way to get back to this thread's topic than I did, I applaud you!)

By the way, I think I might call the image "Radiance of the Dancing Soul" I did reject "Soulful Love" and if you had access to my private journal, you'd know what my thinking behind both of them is. Ended up writing a sort of funny poem about "Soulful Love" the other night and I don't really write poetry. I think this was the second or third poem I've written in my life.

I also liked what you wrote about the "fountain of knowledge" I just wrote about my thoughts on this in my teaching philosophy statement, even though that has a very different place there, for it is more about my objections to being objectified as 'teacher = sole fountain of knowledge', rather than every one bringing their own fountain of knowledge into the classroom. I think I might have to look at my statement again and perhaps re-write it some more.

Dear Paul,

With all the comments about your hair, or lack of it on your head, I would like to raise a complaint about the hair on your handsome face!

The picture on your website does you no justice, and as one of the oldest fans (69) of anything Stricty Ballroom, you must respect my opinion for it is meant as "constructive" criticism only!

I hosted a film seminar at a retirement community here in Florida, and my first film of choice was Strictly Ballroom, what else? When it was over, the seniors asked me what happened to Scott, Fran, Shirley, Doug, etc.

I happily told my audience that today you are a loving husband and father and doing television projects for now.

I also mentioned that you have a most popular website, and that your loyal fans write to you, and feel comfortable enough to talk about their most personal topics, and that you respond with kindness and compassion.

The seniors asked me what you look like today...I answered that there is a recent picture of you on your website, where you sport a moustache and a goatee, which is most unappealing and unbecoming,
for it hides your good looks and charm, the attributes that made Fran and your fans fall in love with you in the first place!

So, Paul dear, give us Grannies a thrill, get rid of that picture with the beer, and post something more recent and appealing!!

As Les said,"You have light in you, boy, let it shine!"

Love,
Grandma Millie, The SB Maven

Im with Grandma Mildred on that one ,Paul...You have a very arresting face and when combined with your incredible eyes -- Oh My God!!!! Dont blush! We all think it! Take it off-- Take it all off--(I meant the facial hair -- Girls calm down!!)

P.S. are we going to get any recent pics of your fabulous family any time soon?

Jeanne, bless you, even if I was 40 years younger, I couldn't have said it better!

The saying among us retirees is not "take it all off, take it all off" but "put it back on, put it back on!!"

Cheers!

Grandma Mildred

Geeze!!! Now I really feel sorry for Paul!!! First it's bald, then something about blond hair, then not enough hair (for some), then too much hair with the beard (for others).... I guess he can't win on that one. I totally disagree with Grandma Mildred and Jeanne!!!! I like the beard !!! completely different look, but then I like to change my look almost on a daily basis if I'm in the mood for it, so Paul, do whatever you feel like!!!

Paul, okay, back to "the image". I spent a wonderful morning drawing the second version--what a great way to spend Saturday morning!!!-- and you can look at it again at http://www.tc.umn.edu/~meye0289/Drawings.html You will HAVE TO CHOSE which version you like better. I will not pick it for you, since I don't know how to pick on that one. I like them both for different reasons and PLEASE chose the one that appeals/speaks more to you and I will mail it to you as soon as I've found an appropriate frame for it (my Sunday project!). I also included badly !!! digitally edited version, where you can see the entire images of versions 1 & 2, basically I scanned both halfs and put them together. I could do a much better job in editing them together, but for now I really don't feel like it.

Dhiana, when I talked to my Mum this morning, I told her about what you had said about the photo of her wearing one of my silk scarves--oh, for the rest of the gang, Dhiana sent me an email after she looked at my other artistic projects on my website--and Mum was rather touched and moved by your comments and thanks you for them. Dhiana thinks that my Mum radiates wisdom in that picture and hopes that Mum knows that she is a beautiful person (I hope I'm not misquoting Dhiana here!). I totally agree with Dhiana on that one and just in general, this is one of my favorite picts of Mum, a very wise and beautiful person and to me, the best Mum I could have. :)

Love to all and enjoy your weekend!
Evelyn

GrandMa Mildred great to hear from you again. I will consider your request and most probably get a new photo up just for you and your girls!!

Evelyn your words re teaching and fountain of knowledge have spured forth a new topic. Look forward to your thoughts, and all.

Ok, totally leapt to the new posting and wrote something there that, in essence, Paul just said above. Woops!