Paul's Corner

Paul...Take each day at time. That's all you or anyone can do. You'll get there! Linda

Paul, where do you make the difference between "having time for life" and "living"? Whatever the difference is for you, I hope you will find time for both in a balanced way, since it sounds that you don't have the balance that you desire.

Love,
Evelyn

paul, i second that emotion. why can't i just be paid to be me? seems like you know how to balance yourself pretty well, but changes in jobs and routine make for more adapting. i don't doubt at all that you'll find the happy medium.

Oh Paul, I so know what you mean. I'm so busy with all the details, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, going to my job, that I never seem to have enough time to do the things I want to do. Like, just hang with my kids, read, take a long hot bath instead of a quick shower. So many flowers I never have the time to stop and smell..then again maybe I'm doing that everytime I come here and contact all the lovely "flowers" in this "garden".

I love you all too!
Innussiq

Dear Paul, and all,

Fifty years ago, Elliott and I were married. I was 20 years old, he was 22. He was a Marine during the Korean War, but he had an eye disability so didn't go overseas.

The other day we were reminising, and we asked each other..where did the time go between the years of our young adulthood and the NOW where we are in the "golden years"?

We also had problems of health, finances, raising children, etc., and do you know how we did it? ONE DAY AT A TIME! What seemed so important, so worrisome, so unsolvable then is now such a distant memory, that it sometimes is hard to believe that it was once part of our reality, and things that once seemed so serious and world-shattering actually evoke smiles...(sometimes!)

So, the old axiom, "easy does it, one day at a time" has some merit.

Timbo, "when we were young" divorce was not an option for many..to expensive, and old fashioned parents advised their married children to "stick it out for the sake of the children."

Some stayed together and "survived" nicely and others lived in misery into retirement, until a spouse died, and the minute that happened the survivor kicked up his or her heels, and found someone with whom to share their remaining days.

I am glad that you are getting some professional counseling...too bad your wife will not join you!

Actually, this site is blessed with very wise and compassionate people who care about you, (and you will not be billed!)

Also, check out to see that your meds for depression are really helping you. Have you ever considered the MOA (?) inhibitors...heavy stuff, but worth it!

Keep that thought about going to Australia. We too, almost made it last year to see Tara star in a play at the Ensemble Theatre in Sydney. Our kids were going to give us the trip for our anniversary, but health issues got in the way, but then, we are old, and you are young!!

We love you and care about you!

xxxxx Auntie Mil :) (Not Auntie Mame.)

Hi Paul,

today you took the words right out of my head! After 3 days of being rushed off my feet I wonder how to manage 2 more - well, got to go to bed early...

But if I consider the past and what I felt once when it seemed to me that I had all the time of the world - I wouldn't want to return to this state of mind...

It's so much better to keep your mind and body busy (as long as it is physically and psychically possible of course and as long as it does not turn to permanent stress...)

O.k. I start spreading truisms - sorry! I'd better go to bed now...

Kind regards to all!

Geez..an incredible phrase.
I'm going to be enjoying a little psychotherapy for awhile. Wish me luck! No response necessary, you guys have been typing way to much to me. I appreciate it all very very much.

Paul..do you remember if Adam Garcia tried out the part the Scott Hastings, a friend of mine inquired. SB was the second DVD she ever purchased, she loves it. Her other favorite actor is Adam. She does however concede that no one even Adam could have done Scott better.
She's just curious if you remember or not.

I'm going to start trying to post positive things. I don't want to drag everybody down. Which is what I feel I've done.
So..here goes. I took positive action today and saw the Doc. YEP!
We're going to dance class tonight YEP!
I didn't smoke anything today YEP!
Took time for self to read and meditate YEP!
Spending time with the kids tonight YEP!
Good stuff. Makes it worth the effort. And in the back of my mind. . .knowing we're all going to meet at sometime. A play, or Pauls next movie premiere. whichever comes first.
Tim

Paul, Hell mate!...ain't nobody gunna disagree with that, except maybe a priviledged few, but then, they may not understand the point of view in the first place.
You've stated a plain, simple fact that is a great modern truth.
No damn wonder you're tired!
Let's face it. You want to do your best, - for your family and for yourself. It's who you are, deep inside. That's why you're working your arse off and still trying to be a great husband and father and friend and at the same time trying to further your aspirations to continue as a performing artist... (hell, I'm tired just typing this..)...and all those things....
On the flip side, everyone expects more these days. The employers desire more, therefore they demand more from their employees. The employees are made to feel bad if they don't meet the bosses' often unrealistic expectations. Add to that a goal which is constantly moving beyond your reach and what do you have?........BLOODY TIRED US. IT WEARS US DOWN, SLOWLY BUT SURELY.
Most times, we don't even notice it until we're totally stuffed.
We exacerbate our plight by unwittingly jumping on the carousel and then beating ourselves with the stick we ourselves picked up.
BUT DO WE REALLY HAVE ANY CHOICE?....usually not, we just keep pluggin' because we know we're doin'
our damn best in a less than ideal situation, but it's the best shot we've got and that's all there is.
This damn situation (work) that we are tied to is a necessary reality, but it doesn't define who we are or how good a person we are, nor does it measure it in any way that really matters. It's just what we do. And we do what we do because we love our families and we want to do our absolute best. That in itself, is the success.
But it still makes us bloody tired!! Paul, again I empathise. Hang in there. Gutsing it out will bring its' own rewards.

Tim, So glad to hear your positive speak. It's obvious from the immediate and caring response from your friends here, that you are cared about a great deal. Your postings are always colourful and interesting to read. They also provide a lot of insight into your life, which helps your friends to relate really well, and we all benefit by reflecting on those things. You offer a great deal of encouragement to others. In short, you're a great & valuable person, with a heap to give. I'm so glad that this positive upturn will allow you to keep doing that. You obviously posses an enviable passion for life and all that it can offer. Keep a tight hold on that view, because you are indeed fortunate. Good to hear your happy talk. Hang in there mate. Stay well.

Peter

Exactly Thats how I feel right now, I missed a couple days of school because of the flu and now, I have piles of make work to do tonight for school! its all very overwelling!
thanks to everyone im much better!! lol aside from the fact that the pass three days Ive been going to sleep at 8:30 everynight!! good for me!! lol. being tired can be good sometimes when ya want to sleep and you actually have a reason instead of just because its time! ;)

take care Grandma!! love lots
Kelli

Tim, I am re-posting this in case you didn't go back to the previous one.
Michelle is so right about Desiderata! It is one of my favroite pieces. You cannot say or read the words without feeling an inner harmony and closeness to the one you love. You and your wife should read it to bring your essence together. Then you can face your problems as a team and conquer them one at a time. It can be done. Keep the faith! Linda

Geez, or as I like to say...geez Louise. I've been thinking about this all day. Hopefully in all the bustle of the day you are able to find those special moments alone and with your family. The ones that make it all worth it.

I have had to learn to do that in my life. I used to find myself wishing things were different and then thinking everything would be better when they were. But as John Lennon said, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans". All we have, with any certainty, is this moment. Live it and love it.

Tim, I'm glad to hear things are better. Therapy is a great thing. Remember what Peck says in The Road Less Traveled (pg. 53,54) about people going into therapy. He talks about how much courage they have, and that contrary to their stereotypical image, they are basically much stronger and healthier than average. Thats you!!

Time to make the salad,
Michelle in Chicago

Howdy, All!

Some days are just like that Paul. Chasing our tails without a thing to show for it.

Good luck on the counselling sessions, Tim. And post what you feel, but keep up the positive actions! Good for you. Just don't demand perfection of yourself. Even one personal achievement a day is good. So you might skip the smokes today, but let yourself have that burger. Well, alright. Throw out that processed bun.

After several consecutive feel-good posts, I should probably offer the disclaimer that I have never been trained in psychotherapy and likely don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

BUT, I do recognize familiar patterns of behavior when I see them. Like that gung-ho attitude wherein I leap out of bed, clean the house, mow the lawn, do six loads of laundry, shop and cook and study and make phone calls, pick of the mail, drop off the dry cleaning, get the kids from here to there and back again (often accompanied by comments regarding what they need to do, could have done, and should have done — and when the next payment is due.) The next day, I'm immobilized. Exhausted, stiff, dazed and confused. How could Super Mom fall down on the job?
I've just been unmasked.

Be kind to yourselves.

I posted at the end of the last post in response to Tim's news, read it there and comment here if you want.

Cant stop and write, Im at work and it's hot and busy. Yahoo here comes a customer!

just had this quote sent to me and I like it so I'm passing it along.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

I posted a thanks on the earlier post.
Okay so here again.
Paul...truly very kind of you to post a note. You state it like it is. I know it probably put a bitter taste in your mouth to be reminded about your brother. Sometimes people that suffer from Chronic depression (such as myself) can drown in our despair. I'm not "fixed" by any means, but I did manage to not go there. I kept doing my pros and cons. My therapist has told me before..you want your kids to remember you as gutless an taking the easy way out? It is about change and stepping up to the plate and doing something about it. He has told me before that it may be time to leave. And start anew.
I thank you all deeply for your concern shown and expressed and I appreciate it very much. It makes me feel very special something I don't get in my surroundings much at all.
I'll keep you guys posted on the therapy issues and what I do..but like I said earlier..I don't want to bring negativity to the board. I live with enough of that shit. I feel bad for having brought everybody into my hell hole, but I just did it. I needed to tell someone.
So on a positive note. Our class tonight was incredible. We selected music for our dance debut in May (30 & 31). Boogie Shoes (BEEGEES) what a hoot.
In response to the daily grind..you know I can tell you horror stories on that. It just is the case. With all the technological advances in the world, we have now room for pause. In the 80's you could say I'll send it over night but only if it was really really really urgent. Then they had the fax machines, but everyone was like..why??? is it still a legal document????
Then early 90's setting up infantile remote system attachments and email.
NOW you can't get away from anyone. The cell phone. They can catch you anywhere and you can't say the mail lost it or the fax screwed it up or is in the shop.. JUST EMAIL IT. There is NO TIME TO BREATHE.
Glad you had another customer Paul. The more you make and save up the better it will be for you.
I will be adjusting my dosage on a few things and that should help level me out again.
Anyway, again...thank you from the bottom of my heart for your candid remarks and well wishes. I'm doing what I can on my end.
I am going to beat this and like I said...I'm going to meet you guys and shake everybody's hand one day...including Pauls.
All my best
Tim

Glad to hear a positive note there Tim. You just got to keep your chin up and think positive. Tommorow is a new day. And we are here for you buddy. Just keep us posted on the progress and vent if you have to. Feels good to vent every once in a while. I'll be thinking about you.

Paul - I am so sorry about your brother. I did not know that you lost a brother to suicide. MY heart goes out to you. It was not my brother that tried to kill himself last week, it was my sister's brother. She and I have different dads but the same mother. The brother is from her dad's side. He is miraculously doing very well now. He has a long way to go though. But again, I am so sorry about your brother.

To comment on your new thread, Paul, I get up every day with the same routine to follow. Get dressed for work, get the kids ready for school. Feed the pets (3 cats, 1 dog, and 5 gerbils), work from 9 to 5 come home, help with homework, cook supper, wash dishes, do laundry, get ready for the next day. It could get pretty monotonous sometimes if not for the little perks that life can bring you sometimes. No matter how busy tho, my family always sits down at the dinner table for dinner together (as a family) we hold hands and give thanks together. I love sitting on my daughter's bed with her and talk about "girl stuff" or hold my son who now weighs more than me on my lap when he cries over the girl who just broke his heart. I love tucking them in bed at night and kissing their foreheads and telling them how much i love them. Those are the reasons for living.....those are the precious moments.

Hope everyone is doing well today. ((hugs))

Everyone-so good to read these posts. I'm loving the positive vibes that people are giving.
Paul, have you thought about philosophy as a hobby? You're quite good at getting some deep dialogue going.
My sweet 48 yr old husband has had a serious depression for a year. He thinks that he has only been moderately depressed for a lot of his life. After some pretty intense counseling and a lot of running to a g.p. to rule out any problems like mono and anemia, we got him on a combination of meds that work. For the first time in a long time he can see some light. We had evaluated everything including our marriage and our careers. And there were times when I would stand in the kitchen with tears running down my face because I couldn't stand seeing his pain. In the course of all this, he had a job, a good job with benefits for which we were thankful, but it isn't a career. So at 48, he will go back to grad school and get a master's in business and leadership. The whole point is that we have seasons in our life and paths to walk. There were days when I would say "you need to get up. Your child needs to see you. I need to talk to you." We did it minute by minute. One of the things that kept me sane was the fact that I had seen a movie called "Strictly Ballroom", and I rented it so much that I finally bought it. I told my darling husband to watch it, all the way through and to remember that Fran took a chance, Scott took a chance and Doug took a chance. It was time to step out of our zone. Things are better every day. Now, if I could only get him to take ballroom dancing lessons! Paul, I bet you are a great salesman.
Tim-thanks for your willingness to be so transparent.
Grandma Millie-I hope to live like you!

Paul sell those notebooks! Leave the manager in the dust. We all want the January accolades for you.
Tim, one day at a time, head up, heart in the right place. Hug the kids and tell them that you love them.
This world is going to get a lot harder to handle in the next year and we have to make every day one worth waking up for.
My chant every morning, "God, do I have to go to work today." and my DH says "Yes" we have bills to pay and I can't do it by myself.
I do taxes for folks who have never worked a real job in their lives, they receive monies for doing absolutely nothing. They have inherited every dime and receive an allowance (if you want to call it that) every month and will till they die. It's disgusting, and they piss and moan about not having any money, not being able to pay their taxes. This so called allowance is in excess of what my husband and I bring in together in a month. Big Bucks!!!
Yes, Life is what happens while we are making plans. Learning to get the living part in in the meantime is hard work .
Hugs to all, must go take cake out of oven.
Sherrlyn

granny mil--not auntie mame? another favorite movie of mine..the one with roz russell

and timmer, dancing to the BeeGees - i've stuck with them through thick and thin...glad you're doing a little better...may need to come to YOUR debut!!

innussiq - thanks for sharing - "not by the breaths we take but what takes our breathe away"

'course as m'curio sez...this living thing sometimes gets in the way - note to me...remember to enjoy each second of each minute of each hour of each day...

later......

Paul, what excellent advice for Tim! Right from the heart. I couldn't have said it better.

Tim, whatever your choices for changing your life, as long as you are making loving choices for yourself (which will help your children immensely in the long run), you have my support and admiration. If there's anything I can do on my side of the country please email me.

Bluedog, when I remember to open to awareness of each moment, life can be amazing. BTW, the tree sitter is down and they're preparing to move the tree. But the fight's not over. We're still pushing to save more oaks and wildlife corridors. Aaargh!

I live in New York City and I run all day long and never seem to get anything done. I just live as well. Yesterday, I worked all day, saw La Boheme in the evening (work to), met with a cast member after the show (work), and arrived home to have a couple hours to myself before I had to start all over again. Why I ever chose to work as a talent agent is totally beyond me. Maybe I will move to a remote island somewhere or change careers.

I live in New York City and I run all day long and never seem to get anything done. I just live as well. Yesterday, I worked all day, saw La Boheme in the evening (work to), met with a cast member after the show (work), and arrived home to have a couple hours to myself before I had to start all over again. Why I ever chose to work as a talent agent is totally beyond me. Maybe I will move to a remote island somewhere or change careers.

Hi everyone!

Tim, I have to let you in on some things. First, I am a very private person and really never tell anyone about my life, but I feel compelled to post it here. It’s true no one knows me personally, so there is a veil of security from my anonymity. Still, this takes a lot for me to confess these things. I do it for you. To show you I’ve been where you are, in a mess of a life.

I claimed bankruptcy years ago (right out the gate, I was only 21) so I have never enjoyed the blessings that come with good credit. Shortly after claiming BK, I discovered that that my wonderful husband was cheating on me, not only with women, but with men as well. He was also using drugs and draining our financial resources, as limited as they were. So, of course we separated, I was also diagnosed with depression. This was back in 1991, at the age of 23. I was looking at my beautiful baby boy who was only 2, dealing with the fact that I might have AIDS, and that my baby boy might be orphaned. I was on anti-depressants and the thought of suicide wasn’t far away. My saving grace was my love for my son. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to his mommy. I threw away my medication, and fought through the changes in my life (moving away, changing jobs, getting a divorce and awaiting the results of my AIDS test, etc..all with bad credit). Life got way way way way better!

Here it is, 12 years later. I am married to the man of my dreams , healthy (God spared me from that dreadful disease), I have two healthy, beautiful children. My husband and I successfully own our own business, and I live in Paradise (100 acres oceanfront).

On another note, my father died when I was 13. Some say he drank himself to death, which to me is the same as suicide. I blamed myself for years. To a point I still blame myself. (If only I’d been there, if only I was a better daughter, etc..) I know you love your children, Tim. Let this thought come to you if you ever dare think of taking your life. You will take a part of their life with you as well. I still cry if I allow myself to think of him for long. It never goes away.

This is very serious, going down that road is so much easier the second time. Never let yourself even look down that road in the future.

I hope some of my gut spilling has helped. If I had checked out back then, I never would have known the love and joy I have now, not to mention, my family would forever be changed for the worse.

Count your blessings, present and future.

Ann - Your post had me all sniffly! Thanks for the great reminder...gonna give my daughter an extra hug when she comes home.

Tim - Glad to hear you're feeling more positive. There really does come a point when you have to step back and say, I've done all I can do, and now it's time to step up and move on.

Sherrlyn - I know people like what you were talking about...I wonder if they are the same people?! MANY times I have just wanted to say, "Gee, I wish *I* could be broke like that!"

Innussiq - Great quote...and so true!

OK, now I have GOT to get back to cleaning this house...have company coming in for my best friend's wedding this weekend and my house needs some SERIOUS attention before that! But today, I am going to choose to be thankful that I have a house to clean...

Love to all,
Mysti

Dear Paul,
Just hang in there. I know this is a temporary spot until you find some more acting. Believe me, your acting skills impress me. Keep it up :).

Sara

Tim, just a quick note, as I'm too exhausted and stressed right now myself, I understand why you apologize for what you refer to as "draging us all down" or something to that effect. I don't think you do or even can do that. Life is life and things happen whether you want to or not, sharing the painful things with your friends is part of us being your friends. I'm glad you shared when you did and want to thank you for making yourself that transparent and reaching out for help. Take this as the sincere compliment it is meant to be coming from someone who rarely stops to ask for help and who finds it very difficult to do so, since I've put that expectation on myself to be able to do it all on my own. Not a good choice and I'm working on releasing myself of that expectation, so from that background, I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you for spilling your guts that way, asking for help etc. Glad you are seeing some positive things as well. Hold on to them and beyond that I don't have any advice to give to you right now, but others have done so already.

By the way great advice/response, Paul! You often do surprise me with how you respond so down to earth and to the point, even when you have your own full plate to deal with. That's an amazing quality you have and I admire that giving and loving soul that you have and share with us and the people around you. Thank you!

Inussiq, great quote! I'm going to start breathing and slowing down though first, so that I can enjoy those moments that take my breath away. There are a few that could do it right now, but am too tired to even remotely enjoy them ... Weird that I allow myself to get caught in and between so many things that miss out on the good stuff. Balance is what I need to create.

Be well each and everyone!

Evelyn, re your above posting:
.........beautifully said, (and do say all of us).

Peter

Ohhhh,..........try again,..........
The above should have read: "and SO say all of us". Sorry.

Michelle NS..Thank YOU! I know that was hard.
Everyone else, I don't even know where to begin except to say Thanks again!.
Like I said I'm focusing on positive. The salon is paying for my membership to a gym. They are aware of everything I'm going through and thought that would help, they know how hard it's been with my weight. POSITIVE.
Great day at the salon. Wild clients and fun! They made me laugh all day.
I'm going to do good.

Tim

Good evening Grandma!

Whoa Timbo, hold it right there. We aren't letting go of you, ever! I was having computer probs and couldn't visit the board, but I'm caught up now. Can you imagine how I would have felt if you'd gone through with your plan?

Many people including Paul have given you superb advice. In my case, after losing my dad to suicide, I couldn't, and still don't fault him for doing it. 25 years of life as a schizophrenic was enough. I just wish he could have held on a little longer. They have better meds for that now and we'lll never know if they could have helped him. I miss him. Maybe that's selfish of me. He finally knows peace, but I will always wonder if I could have stopped him and that will always haunt me.

I know depression. I've considered suicide, but compared to what my dad lived through, my life is a cake walk and so is yours. Do you know any schizophrenics? I only ask because I don't want you to think I'm making light of your situation.

I think it's time to fly before you think yourself to death via stress. If you hadn't put so much effort into it already I'd say stick it out longer, but my heart says "Fly Timbo! Fly!".

I'm glad you're going to get back on your anti-depressents. I started taking mine again yesterday. And if I was a guy, I'd get my testosterone levels checked. That can be the cause of depression according to many articles I've read. Check every angle.

Now, onto the positive side of life, but I hope anyone that needs to unload even the heaviest burden, will do so here. We're listening and we really care (and as Grandma mentioned, you won't be billed).

In regards to the rush, rush, rush of life, I want to share one idea that I read years ago. We are always doing our best even if we don't think so. If we could do better, we would. It's our nature. So don't any of you beat yourselves up concerning accomplishments and remember, the things that really need to get done, will. You're in the right place at the right time. Go with the flow and follow your heart. It sounds cliche, but it's true. How can we lose?

Evelyn, hurray!!!!!! You did it!! It's time to party! How far do I have to drive to come and burn those pages with you? "Celebration time! Come on!"

Good night Grandma. I missed you.

Love!!!!
Whit

Michelle Nova Scotia - Thankyou. Thankyou for sharing you. I am honoured by your bravery, your trust, your willingness to help and share your story with us. AND I am proud of you and your acheivements!

I also back up Peters "so say all of us"...

Dianne you could have said it better I reckon as I love reading your insightful posts.

Whitney same goes to you - thank you for sharing so much.

Welcom Tom - and as I am a "Talent" I know what you have to put up with!! But we do it to you on purpose because we know you love it!

Step on up all!!!

Timbo, Hang in there.

Timbo, hang in there.

I'm so glad things are going better for you Tim. If the people here care about you and we have never met you, imagine the impact you have on people that are in your everyday life!

Paul, your appreciation is so cool! Your validating my response like that really made my day. Also, your being proud gives me warm fuzzies. :)

Isn't it great the difference your corner has made to so many people?

Still counting my blessings.......

Yep!

Ann, thanks for the reminder to stop and enjoy each moment I can with my kids. Too often, each of us gets so focused on what we need or want to get done next that our interactions become more like production meetings. My oldest boy was having girl troubles a short time ago. I was so honored that he would confide in me and seek my advice. My other son is trying to reel in his girl of choice by sending her little gifts and notes. In a recent conversation, one son said to the other, "Well, you DO want to get married and have kids, don't you???" I didn't have a clue about healthy parenting when we started out, but I guess I must be doing something right.

Many thanks to you all (and most recently to Ann, Whitney, Michelle (NS), Tim, Sherrlyn and Evelyn) for sharing your personal tribulations and victories. I am a more balanced, positive and honest person for your efforts. And thanks again, Paul, for stirring things up and inspiring us all!!!

Goodnight.

Good morning, Whitney!!!

I am in awe! The previous posts should be compiled into an anthology called "Profiles in Courage." Yeah, yeah, that title has been used before, I know, but this would be compilations of the life experiences of young men and women in our present society, just trying to do their best day by day, against all odds, and winning! (Doesn't that remind you of another story, of two young dancers, facing the establishment..and winning?)

If any of you darling people have any time off on March 10th, you are invited to come to Florida, and see my variety show, Follies 2003": "Love Is In The Air". (March 10th, 11th, 12th)

The show is almost sold out both nights, but on March 10th (Monday) there is a morning matinee for out-of-towners, and this performance is free...the ONLY cost to you would be the transportation costs to Florida, and a hotel room! (How'd ya like THAT invitation?)

Elliott and I could put up 2 people in our den, but those people would have to be on their best behavior...we are very old fashioned!

Paul, if you, Andrea and the girls came, Elliott and I would glady turn our apartment over to you, and WE would go to a hotel! (Dream on Grannie..)

Tom, welcome, and what did you think of La Boheme?

I saw one scene yesterday on the Regis show, and the young singers were very charming, but their voices seemed immature and strained..they may have been nervous being on TV. Maybe I am critical, for to me, opera means Pavoratti, Domingo, Cararas, Fleming, Te Kanawa, etc., and when the grand opera season starts at the Met and the City Opera, Baz will have major competition.

Love you all, keep the faith!

Grandma :)

Good morning Grandma. If I play hookie on the 13th I could leave on the 12th. I'm sure my students wouldn't complain. If I have the money, I'd love to see your show. Let's cross our fingers.

On a positive note: I've lost some weight. I track it with inches. I've posted the numbers below. Talk about feeling better!

1/4/03
arm 12.75"
waist 36"
thigh 25.5"
chest 42.5
butt 42"

1/29/03
arm 12.5"
waist 35.5"
thigh 25"
chest 41"
butt 41.5"

It's a start!

Have a good day ya'll.
Love!!!!

Hey, Millie, I'll BE in Fla. that week! We're driving down (UGH!) the 7th and returning the 14th as I have to play all wknd long for the St. Patrick's Day shenanigans and drunkards. (Since I used to BE one of those drunkards, I can politely refer to them as such. ;-) I can't play and fiddle all night long anymore...damned maturity!

We'll be in Orlando for a day, going to Animal Kingdom I think, but I would L*O*V*E to bring my mom to your Follies! She lives north of Daytona, so we'll be on THAT coast all week. email me privately with the details if ya don't mind!

Thanks!

Congrad's on the decrease in inches, Whit. You sound like you're doing great.

Coffee time. Its 32 F here today, Peter, so THANK you for finally sending our balmy day! smooch!

Dhiana

Dhiana, No worries about the warm air. Gee, I amaze myself sometimes. Smooch gratefully accepted.

Whitney, Hey.....I'm impressed. You are now my official weight loss mentor (a BIG responsibility). I started cycling regularly again about 2 weeks ago. My times are coming down at an amazing rate, this body seems to be responding (YEEHAAAAA!), but my weight has increased due to the extra muscle glycogen storage (as always). My thighs have blown up a little too. Too bad.
Keep up the good work.

Tim, Terrific to hear you're in so much better spirits. That's great about the salon paying for the gym. Enjoy it. In fact, I hope you enjoy everything that comes your way.

It's Saturday here, I've just finished doing some manual demolition on an old house we've bought, HARD WORK, but it will be worth it in the long run. I'm now going home to enjoy my daughter's 8th birthday party. YEH!!!!
Cheers to all, avagoodweekend
Peter

Peter
Do you guys get "This old House" or HGTV down there? Sounds like you'd love it since you're taking on an old house.
Enjoy the birthday party. They are still sweet an innocent little children at that age. You are still the omnipotent one in their lives. Isn't it great? If only they knew huh? Nah..that's the joy of being a child in a secure family. They feel safe and loved. Goodonya for being such a great dad.

Aunt Mil...I'd love to come see your show. If a miracle flow of cash comes my way..you never know.

I'm up early, getting ready for a long day at the salon. It's been filling in quite nicely.

Have a great day! or evening!

Tim

This isn't looking like a good morning Grandma.

Where's the space shuttle? Things are looking bad. They just showed video of what appears to be the shuttle breaking up over Texas. Terrible tragedy.

Good Morning, Whitney,

Hey, Timbo, I hope you could make that Monday performance of my show...10:00 a.m. March 10th.

Admission is free for out-of-town folks. I don't know how far you are from Coconut Creek, FL, but we are right off the Florida Turnpike, exit 67.

Should you be able to get away, let me know, we'll talk again!

Glad to hear that everyone is doing well, either in losing some weight (way to go, Whitney!) or doing great things to make the ladies looking lovely, (hurrah, Timbo!

Older ladies are loyal to their favorite hair dresser year after year, and should the hairdresser leave for any reason, it becomes a major event..maybe that happens with you "kids" too..

We're having another Saturday rehearsal on the small stage. I'm waiting to get the word that we can finally move into the big Theatre for final rehearsals. We are just weeks away from showtime!

Love,

Grannie Millie

I saw that Whitney. Terrible tragedy.

Hey, Tim. I don't have Peter's talent for rennovating a home; but I could sure use a "fix your toilet" channel. Tried for about 45 minutes to unclog the sluggish ones without success. I predict another expense within the next 24 hours. When does it end?

Also, I detected a note of self-flagellation in your message about happy families/childhoods. Peter sounds like a great dad; but you can be a great dad, too. You're in a miserable situation, true; but if you remind your kids that you love them and that they're not to blame for the distress in your home, they'll be okay in the end. I used to think that I was damaged goods and I feared that I wouldn't be able to give my children what they needed because I didn't know how. I learned and I continue to learn and even though I'm not perfect, I'm good enough. Sometiimes I think that people who do not experience some hardship as children are not prepared when life hits them in the face. Like people who live in sterile environments and then meet contamination. So, chin up. Hope you have a great day at the salon, my friend.

Whitney, I couldn't believe what I was watching..again. It's like another nightmare..17 years ago I was in my classroom, getting the children ready for lunch break, when the news broke that "Challenger" had exploded after takeoff, and the young teacher, Christy, was lost,
along with another woman, Judith Resnick, and the rest of those brave young people.

Now, in a time of so much uncertainty facing our country, we again lose these brave men and women, but who determined that a shuttle 21 years old should undertake such a mission?

The loss of the Israeli colonel is a blow to Israel, for sure; there was great pride in that beleagured little nation that he was chosen to go on the flight. He was one of the pilots that bombed Saddam's nuclear reactor into oblivion in 1981, and brought the wrath of the world down on Israel. You can be sure that Saddam and his friends are rejoicing now!

Our eldest daughter, Paula, has lived in Israel for 27 years, and she and her husband have a large family of nine children. Every day is a challenge to them, but they are resolute in their faith, and would not leave.

Elliott and I keep busy, which alleviates some of the anxiety that we feel with our childen in that part of the world.

Today we share a terrible sadness with all of you.

Love,

Grandma

Love,

Grandma

I too am wondering why such an old craft was still in use? I graduated high school in '81, the same year this machine was built. Someone told me they give the ships 20 years of use. This one was obviously operating past its prime. Such people should be our heroes and, sadly, few people even knew who these brave astronauts were or that they were even landing today. I'm ashamed to say, I'm one of them.

My grandfather has developed a blood clot in his left arm and is headed for surgery at this very moment. Please say a prayer or think a positive thought for him. I am very grateful.

Hello everyone

I've been reading everyday but not posting but I wanted to say a few things today. One, I send my condolences to the family of the astronauts aboard the Columbia. It's a great tragedy and waking up today and seeing that news on t.v. made me very sad.
On a brighter note, I want to wish a Happy Chinese New Year to all the Chinese folks who are on the board or read the board. :) I'll be celebrating with my family today but just wanted to check in. :) Looking forward to all the great food and money in little red paper packets. :) I'm broke, I'm certainly looking forward to a bit of money from my relatives. Best wishes to everyone.

- Tiffany

My gandfather made it through surgery with flying colors.

Thanks to all who held hopes for his good health in their minds and hearts.

Love,

Whitney, when I posted this morning, I was kind of bleary-eyed. I didn't know what you were referring to or maybe I didn't want to know. What a sad day. We just visited the Johnson Space Center in Houston on our cross-country trip. We just finished listening to the tape of Richard Feyman's book in which he discusses his work on the commission investigating the Challenger disaster. And my oldest has been talking about becoming an astronaut. We're all stunned.

Whitney, so glad to hear your grandfather had a successful surgery. We send our best wishes for his swift recovery.

Tiffany, Happy Chinese New Year! Mmmm, now I'm craving egg rolls and fried rice.

yes,it was so horrible today! I woke up and saw it on tv! I feel so badly for every family and friend of those people that they won't ever get a real funeral. it got harder to watch when they started showing the pics of the astronauts in there training video and telling about there families. I know some of you aren't big fans of the president but I thought his thoughts where wonderful! he showed real emotion and I understand what he feels, he has had a hard week having to give the union speech and please everyone. I just hate when something like this happends, just ruins the day. but these are the things that make us stronger as people, and as a nation also.

Whitney, Im so happy your grandfather is doing well and came through surgery fine, hope he recovers well! lots of love!

God Bless
Kelli

yep...a sad day. Those sudden deaths are so very hard to take. I guess that's a real eye opener for me. I should remember that during my depressions...it's simply devastating to the families. My mom died suddenly..I should know.

I found a temporary residence today. Should work through the end of the school year. Probably be moving next week.

And I know it's a sad day, but you know we must find humor somewhere and my friend in the keys sent me this piece of bathroom humor which I cannot resist. So have a good laugh and try to make the best of the rest of the day or evening.
Whit..hope your granddad is doing well.

> If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing will .......
> > Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans.
She
> > loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing
and
> > somewhat lively reaction to her.
> > Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became
apparent
that
> > they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and
gentle
> man,
> > he would never go for this carrying on."
> > She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later
her
> car
> > broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the
country she
> > called her husband and told him that she would be late because she
had
to
> > walk home.
> > On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked
beans was
> > more than she could stand.
> > Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk
off
any
> > ill effects by the time she reached home.
> > So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed
> three
> > large orders of baked beans.
> > All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
> reasonably
> > sure she could control it.
> > Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling,
> I
> > have a surprise for dinner tonight."
> > He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated
> > herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his
wife,
> the
> > telephone rang.
> > He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.
> > He then went to answer the telephone.
> > The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure
> > was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the
room
> she
> > seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it
go.
> > It was not only loud,but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over
a
> > skunk in front of pulpwood mill.
> > She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
> > Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded
> > her of cooked cabbage.
> > Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she
went
on
> > like this for another ten minutes.
> > When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she
fanned
> the
> > air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and
folded
her
> > hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
> > She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing
> for
> > taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him
that she
> had
> > not.
> > At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!
> > There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her
a
> "Happy
> > Birthday"!!!
> > Now forward this to all of your friends who deserve a good laugh!!
> >

Oh, that was too good Tim! You really got a laugh out of me. What a twist!

Thanks,
Whit

I laughed!!! Saw it coming and laughed some more. Thanks Tim. Good luck with the move mate - it wont be easy but somewhere in there I imagine there may be some sense of relief once it is done. Its the starting out you need.

Whitney I am glad you Grandpa is doing well!!

I hadnt heard about the Challenger till reading the posts - my condolences go out to all. Where would we be without the pioneers?

I am pleased to let you guys know I did finish Jan as the top seller at my computer store!! No bonus but a great sense of acheivement. I work four days a week and beat guys doing 5 days a week. Yes I know I am bragging but hey I did good and I am patting myself on the back. It is important to allow yourself to feel good about the good things you do. Cant wait to get back to work in Feb and kick some butt!

For now however it's time to do some house work! Yes Yes Yes I do do house work, vacuum, mop, wash etc probably not as much as my wife would like but just enough to keep her impressed.

Excuse me I refered to the challenger when in fact it was the Columbia. Sad either way.

Hello everyone,
That truly was sad today. I remember when the Challenger went down. I remember thinking of the school teacher. You just never know what can happen to you at any time. On a side note; my husband was talking to a man on his way home from work on a Friday. They were making plans to have a garage door installed in his home. The next day, my husband came to his house as was scheduled. His brother came out and told my husband, "He's dead..." On his way home the previous day (it was very foggy) He crossed over lanes and hit another car head on. It truly makes you stop and think about the here and now.
On a lighter note; time for a life...What's that??? :) Between kids, work, cooking, dishes, laundry (which I now have another two loads calling my name... okay maybe thats my husband reminding me that he has no more levis to wear...) it takes more time to do those things than I have time to do them in. I remember a co-worker encouraging me to take the RT schooling. I was saying I have this and that and so on...(excuses are always ready on hand...) and he told me, "You know what you can go to school and those problems will be there. You can stay where you are and those problems..they will still be there." So, I sent for the course catalog and if I can't pass the state tests for LVN this year then that is my other option.
Now my time is up for "me" things now I must finish dinner and wake my little one up from her nap, hopefully I can keep up with the posts here. There is just so many good conversations going on here and "no time" to keep up with them...
Hoping everyone is well and my thoughts are with those who have lost loved ones today...

I can't believe I was working on my own all day and didn't hear about the Columbia until this evening. So very sad. Deepest sympathy to the families and the country. Linda

Congrats Paul on the sales success!!! That's awesome.....oh, if you like doing housework, I've got all kinds I will let you do.....mopping, vaccuming, dusting, etc.

Whitney, glad to hear about your grandfather...I'm glad he's come thru the surgery well.

Tim you're a riot!!!!! Hope everything works out for you...

Tiffany, happy Chinese New Year...I second the egg roll craving...yum

Grandma, I sure wish I could make it to your show. Unfortunately, so many things hinder that opportunity....I will be thinking of you, and good luck.

God bless the families of the crew members of the space shuttle Columbia.

((hugs)) all around

See I told you I was going to try and keep it positive. It truly was a terribly sad day, and laughter does not diminish the severity of what happened but it can certainly help you.
Glad you liked it Paul and Super congratulations on your success at work. It just shows how talented you are. Pat your back as much as you want. You can in fact do anything you put your mind to, acting, dancing, selling computers or doing housework. Great work. That's what'll pay my rent for a few months. Well so be it. It's time to start anew. OMG that's a line from Grease. Sandy at the car race deciding it's time to change. LOL. I'm feeling better just with the anticipation of a change. Then in the summer who knows. My friends in the KEYS want me to move down there. My friend Caz wants me to move to Sydney, she's sent me all kinds of info, but it's hell trying to get accepted into Australia. I get points deducted b/c of my age. PLEASE.
Gotta go..lots of things to do tomorrow.
And here's a silent moment in memory of those that were lost today. ((((((( ))))))))

Here are two passages I found comforting when my mom died.

No.1

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other,
that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me. . . Why should I be out of mind because
I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well....Henry Scott Holland

No. 2

I am standing on the seashore. A ship appears and spread her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her till at last she fades away on the horizon, and someone at my side quietly says, “She is gone.” Gone where? gone from my vision, that is all; she is just as large as when I saw her last and just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destinations.
The diminished size and the total loss of sight is in me, not in her; and just at the moment when someone at my side says, “She is gone,” there are others who are watching her coming and other voices take up a joyful shout, “There she comes!”.... Robert Browning

tim

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world"
A friend just sent this to me and I think it fits this thread, so I wanted to share it with you.

I spent part of my first day off and entirely at my own making and choosing, catching up on the threads of the last week or two, also cleaned my place--very therapeutic--hung out with the 1 3/4 year old love of my life whom I hadn't seen in a month being crazyily busy and stressed. Darn, why can't he be about 30 years older than he is, he'd be mine!!! :-). I finally finished the first ever complete version of my thesis Friday night, 5 minutes to midnight and it hasn't sunk in at all what I accomplished and struggled through over the course of the past three years, nearly gave up a few times in the process etc. I'll pat myself on the back eventually, once it penetrated my mind, but God damn it, I'm going to celebrate tomorrow!!!! 4 PM my place, feel free to show up! You guys are going to make it into the "Acknowledgments" part, because you played a huge role in making me cross that finish line, (this really is the only part I haven't written, but I have time for that, sometime between now and the end of May). Finding out about the Columbia tragedy put a damper on my spirits and I don't really want to celebrate. Joy and sadness are so often so close together. Why?

Yes, I skimmed the posts over the past few days, but didn't really have the time to read properly. You are such amazing people, with interesting life stories and I'm really thankful to you all for letting me in on it, lately particularly Ann & Michelle NS & Tim. You all have the survivor in you, thanks for sharing and I'll toast to you!

Congrats Paul on beating them all to it in being the top salesman!!! Very impressive! Enjoy the pat on the back and add a few more. You are so right about taking the time to do that & and you so deserve it! I'll drink a toast to your accomplishments tomorrow with my friends and celebrate you too!

Whitney, I'm so glad that your grandpa is doing well after surgery! I wish him a speedy & complete recovery and you a lot of calm and inner strength as well. Congrats also on your inch loss. Impressive!!! I'll drink to that tomorrow as well and shall celebrate you too! and you wanted to know how far is it between Huntington, WV & Minneapolis? Probably somewhere between 800 - 900 miles. Please do come!!! Although I can hold off on the destruction of drafts for a while. I did some today, I just had to!! :-)

And Dhiana, no hide-a-bed, just a very comfortable futon sofa that turns into a double bed, but then of course, you'd get the bed and I'll be sleeping on the futon, so it is ready whenever you want to make an appearance. :-) and sure, we can also burn some bras, I definitely missed that during the 70s as well. Anything else we need to include in this ritual that we have to get out of our systems?

Tim your "story" made me laugh. Good bathroom humor, perhaps I will print it, frame it and hang it in my bathroom .... Good luck with the move! It can't be easy for you, but I'm glad you are taking care of yourself and getting out of an environment that's had a devastating impact on you, caused too much pain for all the people involved. Keep loving yourself! and I'll drink a toast to you as well for surviving and moving on.

Hmm, all these toasts in one day, hope I'm not going to get hung over ... :-)

It's been a very long, hectic, difficult, challenging week for me. While applying for jobs, getting more rejections, working, writing in every spare minute I had, I also argued with my Mom about a job I ended up applying for--she thinks it's God's will for me simply because it is a Christian university (this attitude and response pissed me off big time!!! and even moreso because she didn't even listen to me). The religious aspect is precisely why I'm having problems with it and we are at odds on the whole religion thing anyway. It's "only" a temporary job, should I get it, thus better than not having a job and could become a stepping stone for future jobs. Mum and I couldn't even agree to disagree, because in our first conversation, she wasn't willing to listen to me, trying to force something on me, invalidating any feelings and objections I had, and that hurt, but we reconciled on Friday and I was able to explain to her, why I am so at odds with the religious aspect of this job. This time she listened, I don't think she totally understands my feelings, but that's okay. I just needed her to validate my feelings. I don't want to have to go back to a closed of religious life style in which I feel fenced in and that's hard for Mum to accept. This is most likely going to be a friction point between Mum and me, but I need to take a stand there, rather than avoid the conflict and avoid taking a stand, which is what I've done with Mum, since I don't want to hurt her. What am I afraid of??? Religion really can be very tricky at times, esp. when it is combined with judgmentalism.

Okay, I'm beat and need to sleep about 10 hours and repeat that a few times over the next few days. Probably won't happen, but I'm liking the idea, A LOT!!!

A toast to all of us for helping each other out when we need support, for encouraging, supporting, cheering each other on, for taking the time to make a difference!!!
Love,
Evelyn

long day today....my heart hurts...and it was one of those drop-dead kick ass beautiful days that we get in the middle of winter in texas...all that sun -- guess that's the way it should be!!

congrat's m'curio! No surprise here, knew you'd do well...

whit - good to hear the surgery went well for your grandfather...thinking positive for his recovery..

and evelyn...sleep well tonight and enjoy your party tomorrow, er, it's already tomorrow but you get the drift...i'll toast you tomorrow at 4:00pm straight up....

Whoa bessie! dhiana attending granny mil's 2003 Follies! Hope it pans out... we'd really be in for a treat on their next post!

wordsmiths, both...

later all

oh and diane, never give up the fight..retreat perhaps, but never give up!!

BIG pats on the back to Paul, Evelyn, Damaris, Tim, and Millie on your accomplishments, decisions, risk-taking, creations!

Sorry I can't make it back to Florida for your show, Mildred. Maybe on our next visit to see my hubby's folks.

Thanks for the quotes, Tim, and for the joke. My teenage boys will be especially appreciative when I share it with them.

Paul, the sales achievement is really nice and everything — but what REALLY impresses me is that you CLEAN, too! Hot stuff! Forget those calendars with 20-something hunks; give me Mr. January in an apron.

Good morning Grandma. Loved your poster!

Evelyn, I'm glad you were able to get your mother to listen to your objections. They're legitimate and she can respect you for holding them. But of course your mum is only thinking about the positive aspect of it all. Older folks are afraid of free thinking, especially when it comes to religion. They're hung up on obeying the law to get to heaven when it's theoreticaly about grace.

Tim, those were beautiful quotes. Thanks for sharing.

My dog is really telling me he has to go out, so I must stop reading. Thank you to everyone who was thinking of my grandfather. Your kind interest generates a positive atmosphere in the quality of my thoughts.
Love!!

Evelyn.. Congratulations!! You deserve pats on the back and a toast too. That's such a great feat to accomplish. And you know I completely understand religious friction. That's what's caused the whole demise of my marriage. Inability to openly discuss differences and willingness to change or accept change from each other.

Serendipity. What a great word. You certainly have a lot of it Paul as do everyone on the board. The thing is we have to notice the little things that truly great as well. We usually associate serendipity with those who like Paul have reached a level few ever make..the one in a million person to get a role in a film, the president, Doctors, lottery winners. But we all do in fact win every day. Therapy is working here folks. I'm just sharing.
Meditate at the end of your day. What was special? Besides all the shit and wrong that may have happened...what special thing happened? Keep a journal. Write down at least ONE positive thing that happens every day...You'll never forget. And make it count. Not just I hugged my kids. I do that everyday...but I put down my book and listened to my 12 year old express his interest in his new book and let him rattle on about it and even though it wasn't interesting to me I watched him get excited sharing it with me. It's not serendipity but it's a cherished moment and one that deserves rememberance.

Things to do around the house today. I've got some packing to start, but I won't do that until tomorrow or Tuesday.

Tim

Paul, kudos for the job well done! You strike me as the sort that can do anything great, if you put your mind to it. Your capabilities are endless.

Thanks for close up look at your great poster Grandma. Wish I could be there to see it live. I'm sure it will be a smash hit!

Regarding the Columbia, a sad terrible lose.

Evelyn, thanks for the toast and here's one for you and standing up for your convictions. When it comes right down to it, the greatest belief system in the world is the one we have in ourselves!

Namaste

Way to go Paul! What a wonderful success to build on! Personaly, I,m blown away. I didn't want to make a big deal of it for your sake, but I find sales very intimidating. I would definitely have to be selling something I believed in and knew about. Congratulations! It'll be interesting to see how this recently honed ability spills over into other facets of your life. A reason for everything?

I was just looking at my map and Evelyn, you're about as far from me as Millie! When are they going to get the teleport machines running?

Love!!!!!

Enjoyed your post Damaris.

Always good to see the name texas.

Tiffany, Happy Chinese New Year!

Tim, glad to hear your back on track wherever that leads. Time will tell. I'm excited for you!

I've limited my responses, but I read all the great posts to this site. I've just had a very full plate lately.

I join Ann in asking God to bless the families and nations of the crew members of the space shuttle.

Love!!!

To Cat:
Darling, would you be so kind and post an up-to-date information about Paul on the opening page of this site??The last one comes from November, the 1st, 2002 and it's a little embarrasing that it's so old!!
I would be glad if you did that, Cat!Otherwise, shame on you!
Greetings.

Tim, Wishing you good things with the move. Moving out, moving up, ....ALWAYS moving forward. You're on your way buddy. This should be really great for you. New environment, new challenges, new opportunities, NEW LIFE! You'll have so much more control and ownership in your life, everday. Best of luck.
And,.... for the record; I'm actually demolishing a crappy old shack, not renovating. On the weekend I removed 4 cubic metres of asbestos cement panelling (walls & ceilings), before the bulldozer arrives. What a shit job, but, it will all be worth it in the long run.

Paul, Goodonyamate - top sales! Never any doubt. Apparently your morals re "truth in selling" didn't stand in your way of success. And now you have earned the rewards - excellent!! All good karma, all pulling in the right direction for you. Success seems to come in all different forms. I'm also very impressed by your housework efforts. (Yeh, I do the same.)
Looking forward to hearing about "top sales for February". Best wishes.

Everyone, I couldn't possibly catch up with all that's been covered recently, I confess I've just lost track of it all and I'm so terribly busy at the moment, building bridges for a brighter future,.....you know, that sort of stuff!
I've seen much written here about adversity, pain, support, encouragement, hope, aspirations, love and loads of courage.
There is a great deal to be inspired by.
Paul does a brilliant job of leading, always providing inspiration and opportunity for reflection.

Bluedog, I wish I could be as cool as you sound. Stay happy.

I've been able to move forward quite significantly in recent times. It has required a load of constant and focused effort. There was a bit of disappointment along the way to finding the truth, but with the truth has come understanding. Thank God for that. I need to understand, it's my way.

I wish for peace, happiness and lasting joy for you all. Thank you all for your friendship.
It's Monday morning and time to start work.

hey paul i am a big fan of yours and i have a question to ask you do you like artist in music like ashanti ja rule fat joe and have you heard of colin farrell and denzel washington.

There's the "denzel washington" post again! Are you sure this isn't code for something Paul?

Hi Grandma. Have a nice evening.
Love,
Whitney

ha! yea its the denzal code!! anyways hope everyone is doing fine!! i'll be writing soon but right now I need a nap!! take care
love to all
Kelli

The Well
(Jennifer Warnes, Doyle Branhall)

we can make it, I know we can
only time will tell
let's take a walk down to the water
let's go to the well
you hear that low hummin' underground
hear the skylark in the dell
the wild world is speaking
let's go to the well

sometimes my heart feels like a dandelion
seeds scattered in a careless wind
and nothin' to show for my life and time but
innocent wonder in the face of thunder
feelin' like something is about to begin

let's build a bonfire
for the stories we tell
of the wild years, the wasted tears
and the silent way they fell
see the curls of smoke rising up
to the big old sky as the moonlight falls
down over those distant hills
I don't want to be anywhere else anymore
let's go to the well

you better believe my faith in you
is as wide and steady as a Texas moon
and when this stuff starts rollin' through
it's all innocent wonder in the face of thunder
feelin' like somethin' is comin' soon

we can make it I know we can
we're gonna live to tell
I know you won't let me fall
let's go to the well

... and let's go down to those hills through the
trees across the rocky path — down to the
Blanco river — come with me darlin', the sky is
so big today — my heart's so full —
c'mon, let's go to the well now, babe

Beautiful song Diane. Thanks for posting the lyrics.

I took my little sister to her first Japanese Steak House (Sunday is my free day). She was quite impressed with the cook, but too shy to let him toss shrimp at her mouth.

Simple pleasures and sweet dreams for everyone!

Love!!!!

I know who Colin Farrell is! I can't wait to see "The Recruit".
Still that whole denzel code is strange isn't it?

it not a denzel codeokay when i ask him before it didn't answer the reson i ask him is because i want a answer.

Grandma...Fabulous job on the poster! Hope the Follies rock!! Linda

Paul: I knew you could do it, beat out the whole lot of them for that top spot. But you have been No. 1 in our books for quite some time.
Ah, housework, if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger. I spent most of saturday, with the tv on cnn and cleaned cabinets and did the laundry. I figure if you live in the house with 4 women you best be very neat or be able to pitch in and help clean. Me, I lived with two men, my husband and my son and neither one of them cared a flip about keeping the house clean. In 1997 when the son moved out, I laid down the law, so now hubby helps. Not as much as he could, but more than he used to. But you all know, I'd rather do just about anything to keep from cleaning house.
As for the Columbia disaster, it's tough. I'm sure that GW is thinking, "What the hell else can possibly go wrong this term." The space shuttles are designed for 100 missions and undergo regular checkups, this one had just been overhauled and a new windshield installed in 1999. I'm convinced that whatever happened during the launch caused the heat shield failure.
I heard a report on the radio that even if they had made a space walk and determined that there was damage, there was no way to repair it in space. I'm thinking "What is the space station sitting up there for!" It will be interesting to see just what their investigation reveals, if anything and just how long before we send up another mission.
Spent the day with my parents, Dad has now been diagnosed with prostate cancer to add to the list of ailments. Fortunately this is small and the Dr.'s are still trying to determine what if any treatment they will subject him to. He's lost some weight but still needs to lose more.
Some of the treatment for his cancer are detrimental to the congestive heart failure, diabetes, and the emphysema. Both of my younger brothers were there and we really had a good time. Without his hearing aids in, Dad doesn't pick up on everything that is being said so we have to repeat the conversation several times and it gets to be very entertaining. Mom's patience is wearing thin, which is one of the reasons that we go down as often as possible.
Tomorrow is work as usual, will start on more 2002 income taxes. I have already done one for this year and hope the rest go as smoothly, LOL.
Hope all of you ar doing well and that peace is still a possibility.
Hugs all around ((((()))))
Sherrlyn

Michele, Hope this helps. I could be wrong, but I seem to remember that Paul answered regarding his musical tastes under the "Easy" thread.

Good morning Grandma! Hope you and Ellie are well.

I'm sorry michele. I thought you were someone playing with paul. It did take him a while to respond to your question, but pete's right, he answered you a thread or so ago. I think he said he's listening to YoYoMa (sp?) and some other interesting and varied music. Don't feel bad. I suggested he promote his favorite beer and later read in an archived article that he has actually done that already! I guess I still have some mercurio homework to do! Once I stumbled onto this board, I stopped reading the site.

Sherrlyn, so you reformed your husband after your son moved out? How did that go? I guess the woman who marries your son will have the opportunity to change behavior ingrained by lifetime of non-house cleaning habits. One interesting thing I've noticed, is that many men will avoid performing a task hardest the first time because they know that if they ever did it once, a precedent would be set and they could be asked to do it again. My grandfather doesn't even know how to make a comfort zone for himself. Until his feet began to swell, he would sit around in his work clothing and shoes. Totally oblivious to the fact that he could be more comfortable. Maybe he got mental comfort from his habits.

Sorry so long. Dog wants out. I'll read more soon.
Love!!

Good morning, Whitney!

Michele, don't get angry...I think you are just having some trouble with the computer, and with experience, you'll do just fine! I suspect you might be the youngest kid on this "block" but don't worry...I am the oldest!!!

Yes, Colin Farrell was very good in "The Recruit" which Elliott and I just saw. However, he will get no place unless he shaves!!! We like Al Pacino in just about anything, and Denzel Washington is a very talented actor and now, a director, in the excellent "Antwone Fisher". Yep, we see them all, but nothing ever compares to "Strictly Ballroom".

I was able to send the cover of the program of my "Follies" and I thank you lovely people that were able to get it. Cat said she would try to post it at some time. I also have other posters of Paul and Tara in SB.

Sherrlyn, when you visit your father and mother, you are doing a "mitzvah" (a good deed) for they must really appreciate your love and support...send them my regards!

Re: The Space Program. I am against it, always was, now more than ever! The experts tell us that great contributions to science and medicine were made through those space flights, and this morning some commentator had the nerve to say that the idea of the MAMMOGRAM was perfected through space technology!

Now, I would say, fellas, go back up and do a better job! I don't know of any male astronaut that ever had a mammogram, so more work has to be done...(Ouch!)...(pardon me boys, I just got carried away!)

Love you all,

Grandma

Sherrlyn, that was a good point you made about the shuttle. I had heard they probably couldn't have fixed it in space, but it hadn't occured to me that they could have transferred the astonauts to the lab and then brought them down in a Russian vessel. What a waste of life! I imagine the persons who deemed the launch incident inconsequential won't be working in the program anymore.

Sherrlyn and Whitney, the L.A. Times has a good article today on the limited options of the Columbia. You can read it at:

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-risk3feb03,0,7886462.story?coll=la%2Dhome%2Dheadlines

I just learned yesterday that our rabbi shared Thanksgiving dinner with Col. Ramon and his family. He also stood with the astronauts' families and watched the shuttle takeoff. Col. Ramon's eldest son had just become Bar Mitzvah in Houston and they were planning the younger boy's Bar Mitzvah for Israel. The temple will be holding a memorial service tomorrow night. (Sherrlyn, what's your dad's name? I'll ask for prayers for him tomorrow and, of course, keep him in my prayers.)

Good day to all!

I am terribly sad about the loss of seven lives, however I have a big problem with the US space program. We spend millions to study the effects of zero gravity on bacteria and the human body while there are people on Earth who die because they can't pay for their medicine. Elderly people who thought that medicare would take care of them in their old age and now they have to choose between dinner or medication. It seems such a waste to me. These are very unamerican sentiments but I don't see why we worry about space when we're not taking care of the planet we live on. It's like landscaping the yard around a condemned house.
*stepping off soap box* Thanks guys, I feel better now.

Inn..
You are not alone. I can't think about all the programs tax payers pay for that do not HELP people and not get upset.
There are SO MANY areas where people need help in the US..I can't speak for other countries, but I know in GA there are people that need homes, food, clothing, medical care, dental care, just pure basic essentials to life and they don't get them. This program won't pay because they make a dollar more than they should. Or with the health care program for children offered through the lotery program, you're children aren't eligible unless they haven't been covered for 3 months. For example in my own case. We would qualify for this. It's $15 per month per child. I covers everything including eyesight, hearing, dental, orthodontia etc... Meanwhile our COBRA coverage ends next month. If I let my family go uncovered for three months they can get it. BUT..if during that time something should happen..we have nothing. It's ridiculous...if you qualify..you should be able to get it when you need it.
I worked on a client's mothers hair today. My client lives in a $1000000+ home in a gated community..The whole family was there just piddling around. The grandmotherhas been sick so I made a house call and cut her hair. She paid mewell for thehouse trip, but then Iheaded home to my neck of the woods where everyone works all the time and sometimes two jobs..What's fair huh?

I talked to my wife tonight...she went balistic on me. I dont' know what to do. I have two places to go now. Plus my friend in the keys told me to come one down.

It can beconfusing. I finished the book. What a wealth of information. It has the incredible ability to really open your mind to spiritual growth(Not necessarily the religious kind). IT was AWESOME. Learning to make decision and accept the pain and consequences with it and to subsequently grow from it.

Breaking up though even talks when you're trying to be calm and rational get so irate. My wife started in that I just wanted freedom away from her and the kids so I could go live my fantasy live all over the world and just leave them in the dust. SO UNTRUE. I do not WANT to leave my children. I will not desert them either.
I do however need change. There must be a place that works. We'll find out.

Later guys

Tim

Innusig, I have similar concerns when I consider the value of fine art. Not everyone can appreciate it and the world is filled with hungry people. But I'm not sure my logic is sound. Imagine a world without art. The more I teach it, the more I appreciate it. Maybe I could use money made from the sale of art to finance solutions to humanitie's problems.

What if space could provide something wonderful for humans? Maybe something that could feed them or free them from ignorance.

I can understand your wife's resentment and fear Tim. She's stuck with the kids and you sound like you might be going far away. She sees a lonely life ahead of her while your future looks bright. Maybe if you talk with her about your ideas for sharing the responsiblility, she'll feel beter. Will she be able to leave the kids with you while she takes an occassional vacation? It would help if she could see some benefit to her as a result of the change.

The insurance thing sounds scary Tim! I don't think America is as well off as the rest of the world thinks.

Good night all and sweet dreams Grandma,
Love!!
Whit

Whit
I would always be available for my kids. Plus I have a plan worked out in my head, but we're not ready to discuss it because it would just explode and at the moment. Her entire family lives here in Atlanta and are always taking the kids and doing things with them. One Saturday I had this really bad dream about my two youngest children. My mom came and took them away...not a bad dream per se, but when I thought about it the next morning it gave me the chills. So my wife proceeds to tell me she wants to send the youngest two with her sister on a two hour trip south of town and back...I get a little eerie and just say..I'd really rather you didn't. Just make up something. Well she sent them anyway. Didn't listen to me. All I asked was that she keep them home that day. This does not occur on a regular basis. Oh and it was rainy and messy that day as well. I didn't want them on the expressways. She never listens to input from me anyway.
She's scared and you know what so am I. We've been together for 17 years straight, 16 of them married (a/o 3/21). That's more time with her than I spent at home with my parents that I was cognizant of.
I wish the world were more peaceful and caring, but it's not. You can only make those people around you feel better and hopefully they can pass it on.
Off to Curl Up and Dye
: )

Tim

Good Morning, Whitney,

Timbo, I am so sorry you are having such aggravation with your wife. I know it is frustrating, for to break off communication with her would make it difficult for you to be in touch with your children...perhaps you should get some legal advice so that you could see your children on designated days.

Yes, Timbo, the rich are getting richer and the poor are going into the crapper! That is Mr. Bush's philosophy, and the American people will soon realize what is happening...George W. will go the way of his father...high marks during war time, and then, "it's the economy, stupid!"

As for the space program: Our astronauts were allowed to take this perilous journey with no backup, in a broken down 20+ year old pile of junk, that was deemed unsafe a few years ago by an expert in the space agency, (and no one paid attention). I say scrap the whole manned space program, and concentrate on unmanned flights and use the money saved down here on earth, where it is sorely needed. We have three guys sitting in the International Space Station for months, and heaven only knows if they will be returned safely one day!

Down here on earth, my show is still not able to rehearse in the big theatre.I was told the main curtain was being hung, and to be patient. However, the program is ready for printing, and the big boss says she is going to print 2,000 programs, for the two nights. Did I get excited? Well, whadaya think!!!

In light of the recent tragedy, and the ominous weeks ahead, I have tried to keep this variety show humorous, melodic, and with the words and thoughts of "Love" in it..Paul, forgive me, but your wonderful spirit invigorates and influences my work, believe it or not. I speak of you often, and the seniors listen and watch with great interest...they all wish you and your family well!

Love,

Grandma

Good morning Grandma! 2,0000 programs! That is exciting! And on the space program, you might be right about unmanned missions. If we could do it just as well, why risk a life? I still agree with Ann, they could have left that pile of junk floating up there and brought our people down another way. I'm comforted by the fact that they loved what they did and I want the program to continue.

Tim, I'm glad you have a plan. I hope it works. I know you two will really miss each other. I never saw how your disbeleiving presence was a problem, but now she'll be able to live her system more fully I guess. My little sister got a divorce from a 5 year marriage because he was a couch potato and she wanted to go to NYC and study acting. Of course, she never went. As I pointed out to her at the time, "Go to NYC and do your thing and see if the relationship falls apart first.". In truth, the passion had faded, they didn't have enough in common and she married too young. Doomed!

I have to get the dog out and get ready for work. I pray everyone will have the sort of day they hope for and remember, if you can do better, you'll find a way to do so.
Love!!!

Just a quick comment about the space program. First of all, let me say that I am so very sorry about the lost lives in our space program, those lost this past Saturday, but also those lost 17 years ago, and those lost back in the 60s or 70s when the Mercury capsule burned on the launch pad. These pioneers are some of the bravest people on earth, along with those who serve as police officers, fire personnel, medical personnel, etc. Now, with that said, I have to agree with Grandma Mildred that the space program needs to be discontinued because it is OBVIOUS that our technology at this point in time is not advanced enough to do anything more than to just get to the space station. And if that is all that is possible at this time, why should we be putting so much into the space program when (1) nothing is going to come of it for possibly hundreds of years, and (2) those billions of dollars being spent on this project could be better spent going to feed, clothe, house, and medicate those here in our own country and throughout the world who need these basic human requirements so badly. I am a humanist who believes that we should try to take care of HUMANS (and all life) over trying to advance into space when we don't have to technology to do anything great on that frontier at this time. Perhaps in a hundred or two hundred years, we'll have more and better technology to try reaching the stars. Is anyone on this board aware of the fact that NASA is unable to duplicate the program to get back to the moon at this time? Believe it or not, that is the truth! Our own great NASA cannot get back to the moon now! They cannot duplicate their own feats of the 70s at this time! Additionally, I believe that until we can virtually GUARANTEE that there will be no loss of life in the space program, I don't think we should continue to risk human life in this endeavor. Even one life lost is too great a price to pay, not to mention seven, or fourteen, or seventeen!

My apologies in advance if I offend anyone with my comments.

Don't seem to be able to keep up right now, but wanted to thank you all for your toasts as well. I had fun--lots of it--but mostly in the simple pleasures of life, simply being with my friends--too bad none of you were there physically--hugs are wonderful!!!! and having Trent (the little love of my life) share his food with me and giving me the best part of the cookie, biscuit, brownie--what can I say, I almost cried and felt all fuzzy and warm on the inside, yep and I in return shared my champagne with him (not much, just a taste and the face he made, priceless!!!) and so what, he created a big mess all over my apartment, cleaning the entire place twice in two days, not what I had planned, but now it is VERY clean. :-) I spent most of the last three days with him, I guess I have to make up for some lost time and also keep increasing his German vocab. :-)

Whitney, how's your grandfather doing? and how are you doing in this situation? Here's a hug to help you get through as well.

Peter, a belated happy Birthday to your daughter, I hope you guys had fun & good luck with destroying the barn. If I lived any closer, I'd help you. I would love to do some physical work right about now after all the mental, intellectual work of late, but not just because of that.

And why is everyone making such a big deal out of men cleaning at home? Perhaps I know too many who do, ..., also know a few too many who don't, but so what, don't other things count that "they" do instead? needless to say, I'm still impressed by Paul and Peter for participating in cleaning at home. :-) and by Sherrilyn for getting her husband to come on board. Nice going there, but did you do something for him that he wanted you to participate in that you hadn't?

Tim, I'm sorry that you and your wife can't talk to each other right now, but I would assume that the pain is too much and the emotions too raw, for both of you. Give it some time and see what happens. Maybe you both need this time away from each other to re-assess. Just blindly guessing and thinking about some of my own break ups in the past, there always was this time of communication breakdown before we could talk to each other about what was going on and whether or not we wanted or could salvage the relationship, although I never had to worry about the impact on the kids and possibly being denied access to them. You are in my thoughts and I'm sending you some pain easing thoughts.

Be well each and everyone!
Love,
Evelyn

Such sweet thoughts for Tim, Evelyn. Considerate advice.

I confess I was verging on bashing in that recent post, but it's especially bad in WV when it comes to men and cleaning. Their mothers make a life out of caring for them! Co-dependent relationships are the norm. I hear it's a problem in Italy too. I think they call them Mamacettas (sp?) or mamma's boy.

My grandfather's doing great. He's out of ICU and has his own room now. They want to monitor his response to his new blood thinning medication. On a very personal note, I want to say that, under these circumstances, I feel that hospital is the proper place for him. You need to be monitored when you begin taking medicines like laxex(sp?). My grandmother was reluctant to be admitted even over night and, I believe, she paid for that decision with her life. Hospitals are a scarry place to be, but sometimes essential. Men! Go get that checkup!

Dog whining!!! Got to go.
Love!!!

Hi Evelyn. Yes, there's a certain therapeutic value in smashing the crap out of a sad, inert structure. It's amazing what sort of visual imagery you can come up with! The 8lb sledge hammer and chainsaw suddenly become an extension of your psyche. And yes, I empathise with the need to sometimes replace the intellectual effort with some down-and-dirty physical work. Good fun & rewarding.

And I personally believe that any male who is truly not capable of performing rudimentary housework is either lazy, bluffing, psychotic, or lacking basic life skills (such as using your hands to pick something up). Social phenomenom?

Thanks also for the birthday wishes. We had a great time.

Dear all, Here's a contribution to the reccuring theme re the controversial social/economic focus by governments (in general).

This is from a song "Read about it", by an Aussie band named Midnight Oil:

The rich get richer
The poor get the picture
The bombs never hit you when you're down so low

Some got pollution
Some revolution
There must be some solution but I just don't know

The bosses want decisions
The workers need ambitions
There won't be no collisions when they move so slow

Nothing ever happens
Nothing ever matters
No one ever tells me so what am I to know

Paul, how's the sales tally shaping up this month?

Have a great day everyone
Peter

Hello everyone! Don't get me started on the state of this country. Yikes.... I for one think Bush and Cheney should have signed a contract long ago stating they would never personally benefit from the Iraqi oil fields being freed up. The fine print would have to include no profits for family members and corporations or their subsidiaries they have a finanicial stake in. I'm sure they'd find a loophole though.

Today I read that Bush cut a lot of the funding for renewable energy programs. Farmers who were going to put wind turbines on their land to supplement their dwindling profits won't get help with that now.

Calming down......Tim, I have told numerous people about that book and you're the only one who has actually read it. I'm so glad it has helped you!

It is getting really cold again. Dhiana, how are the poor chickens? I have had so much fun imagining them with their red light. (Sting in the background singing "Roxanne"!) I'm thinking maybe you should spring for one of those mirrored disco balls. I can just hear them clucking along to "I Will Survive".

Love from Chicago,
Michelle

I am going to be able to give myself that 10'lb 40th birthday present on Friday. I actually did better than I thought. This will help the knees and back. What better gift to give yourself than the gift of health.

Whitney, Glad to hear your fathers doing better. I'll pray for his speady recovery. Congrates on the weight loss. You go girl! You've been working so hard on that. You've got great determination. I know how you must feel.

Timbo, That's a great idea on writing one positive thing at the end of the evening. I'm going to give it a go. I hope things smooth out soon for you. Hang in there. P.S I have to set a new challange for myself.

Michele, Sorry I was beginning to think it was code too:)

Grandma, The follys in March sounds great! I don't think I've ever been to Florida.

Prayers for Sherrlyn and family

Butt kicks to Whit, Tim, Evelyn

Shin kick to you Paul. Sow, Sow, Sow your garden.

Hugs to everyone

Suz

My grandfather's mind is addled from anesthesia. He may end up in a nursing home. Send that positive energy to Huntington, West Virginia. Sure 'ppreciate it!

Good night Grandma.
Love!!!!!!
Whitney

I understand the complaints about expenditures on programs that don't seem to produce immediate benefits, especially when there is ample evidence of great needs of the people. But I believe there have been many technological advances resulting from the space program. (I'll have to research for you.) Also, growth and progress often require a willingness to stick your neck out. I just read that the U.S. is spending $1.9 billion per day in Afganistan. We'll be spending trillions if we go to war. We'd get a much better return if we invested that money toward peace. From what I've read, NASA top officials never acted on advice from top staffers. Same thing happened with the Challenger. How sad that they haven't learned from past mistakes.

I wish I could sign off with happy news. Instead, I need your prayers for a friend who has been fighting cancer for 1.5 years. Her doctors have just given her 2 months to live and a long-shot chance of survival if she goes through another horrendous surgery and goes on dialysis. She has two kids in college, one in high school and another in elementary school.

Thanks for any prayers on her behalf!

Random comments in no particular order.

In politics there are ALWAYS hidden agendas with pocket lining to the people on the perch.

I've never in my 42 1/2 years know of this world to be safe and giving to the people that need it. As a child of 6 & 7 I was petrified of turning 18 for fear of being drafted into Vietnam.

I have cleaned houses...LARGE houses with my wife and then come home and cleaned my own. And with three boys sharing their own bath believe me it smells like a petro station stall if you don't wipe it down DAILY. Do I like it? HELL NO. I want to be rich and famous and hire a maid. But not happening. I do NOT put away clothes or unload the dishwasher. I will wash and dry clothes and fill the dishwasher and clean bathrooms. And dustmop the wood floors...but Ihate to vacuum.

Once you have children you have given up your right to free time. They take it up. They require your every ounce of free energy to ensure they will make it. Geez is the understatement. If you're not working for money, you're working on your house so it doesn't stink. If you're not doing that you're working on the development of your children. And then with what precious few moments you have left if you have a good relationship with a significant other you work on that. But second jobs and children with special needs can evaporate your disposable (if any) time.
We've become accustomed to the fact that our oldest son has Asperger Syndrome Autism. And we are working with him on the levels he needs and helping him plan his life as it will be for him. Now our second son has been receiving special help at school for Central Auditory Processing Disorder. This is not going well. We met with his teachers yesterday and they want to put him in a self-contained class, much like my older son. My two oldest children thus far are in back in the sixites "special ed" kids. God how they were so picked on and the name calling. It fortunately is not that horrific now. However my second son "knows" what the meaning of this class is and has decided he is stupid and he hates himself. I had to sleep with him and hold him last night he just wouldn't stop crying. It tore me up. I love him so much and I can't take that pain away. I can't give him the mental powers he needs. I feel like a shit b/c I can't understand sometimes. So much for having a high IQ..it doesn't mean shit. I made great grades in college...so what? Look at me now. I'm not leaving right now. That would just tear him apart. My wife and I talked tonight...and we're just going to continue to grin and bear it and put our issues aside. We have to for the sake of the kids now. It's a choice. It'll have its moments of pain and I'll be bitching again I'm sure. But its for my son. I'd do anything for him or any of my kids.

I hope everyone is doing well. Positive thoughts are going to WV.

Paul..hope your sales are off to a solid start. You'll do well. I just watched one of your movies tonight. Put me in a good mood. I really enjoy watching you on screen. The facial expressions are great they make the character real.

Later guys.

Tim

Diane
We must have been posting at the same time. So very sorry to hear about your friend. That's truly sad. She's in my thoughts and feelings. If it is in fact her time though, I hope you can help her come to grips with it and be there for her. Preparation for it can help. Help her with her kids. They'll need so much special attention not just now, but later even a year later. It's just a reality statement that I've had to deal with before. I do wish the very best of course.

So sorry and I do hope!!!

Tim

Can I post 3 in a row? Duh..
I just wanted to thank everyone again for all their outpouring of concern in my time of crisis both mentally and emotionally with my wife.
I wanted to let you know that therapy and my RX changes are helping out. I thank you again for listening.

Peace and Love
Tim

Tim, thanks for your well wishes. Her name is Audrey and we're going to do whatever we can to help. It's awful to feel helpless.

You know, when you started posting about your wife's immersion into her religion, I found myself thinking that people tend to become fixated on religious doctrine when they are living with fear and confusion. Easy answers are always a balm. People do the same thing with politics. They demand easy answers and simple solutions because complexity demands that we do/be more and ambiguous answers incite fear of the future. It pains me that your wife has treated you so badly, and I don't mean to exonerate her; but I suspect she feels as badly about the boys as you do and she doesn't have any other means of coping with her frustrations and fears. You are both trying to give your children the best you have to offer and they will benefit from that love and attention. They'll gain strength as you build yours. Maybe there is someone out there who could help your second boy work through this — maybe a special ed teacher or a counsellor? I don't know anything about his disorder, but I'm going to do some research. I understand; it cuts like a knife to hear your child belittle himself.

Hang in there, Tim. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peaceful dreams,

Diane

Good morning everyone,

just a quick response to those with family members or friends who are very sick. You are all in my thoughts, Whitney, Sherrilyn, Diane, (hope I'm not forgetting anyone) as are your grandfather, father and friend respectively. I wish you all strength to support them in the way they need it most right now, only you know what that is, and then again perhaps not. Some of your feelings and concerns, I can relate to as today, six years ago, my Dad died of cancer and the memories of that time are about as fresh in my mind as the experience was then. Sure I'm sad, but I'm choosing to celebrate him, not just today, but especially today. I hope you too can find a way to celebrate your grandfather, father, friend while they are with you and I hope that they will be with you for a long time yet. If there's anything I can do to support you, let me know.

Tim, it seems that you are getting dragged all over the place right now. I'm so proud of you and your wife that you are able to set aside your differences to help your son(s). You guys are in my thoughts as well. ... and of course I'm also duly impressed that you clean house even when you don't like it. Nobody said you had to like it.

Suz, Happy Birthday for Friday. I hope you are not freaked out by moving into another decade and congrats on your weightloss as well. The next goal? perhaps the next 10 lbs off or 5 lbs.

Michelle fr. Chicago, I'll read the book you suggested eventually. I only have about 5+ books waiting for me to get through first and since two of them are part of "my book club with my sister" I have to read them first so that we can discuss them over email. But what Tim and you have said about it, makes me want to read it really badly!

Okay, I just noted the time and damn it if I don't make a move, I might be late for work and I shouldn't do that. Later & lots of love to all,
Evelyn

Good morning Grandma!

Good morning everyone!

Thanks for the positive thoughts Tim. Gosh, I didn't know about the situation. Studies indicate you're right about IQs. They don't measure every kind of intelligence. Like other children, your second son will have to search for his talent. As a parent, I know you try to notice his special gifts and help him develop them throughout his life. Have you told him about Stephen Hawking? Though Dr Hawking began life without any restrictions, he developed a limiting disease later in life.

I'm glad you were there to hold him and I can only imagine the sadness you feel trying to comfort him. This certainly can't compare, but I remember hitting a wall in mathematics and how dismayed I was. To think I had a limit was devastating! Fortunately, our minds continue to grow all the way through life. I'm even better at math now. Since you may not want to talk about this more, I'll see if I can learn online.

God bless you Tim. I'm glad you and your partner are doing this together. Your dreams can still come true and you need to hang onto them to be a healthy person for your kids.

Have you ever thought about working with someone on the script thing? It might be the way to make it happen. I have a partially fictionalized documentary I'd like to do as well as a Disney-like adaptation of a book I read as a child. You sound like you really know what you're doing. Team up?

Diane, I'll pray for Audrey. She's blessed to have a friend like you.

Suz! Way to go on the 10 lb! I saw something about that and didn't fully understand. Congrautations!!! And your going to be 39 forever like me? Thanks for the Butt kick ! I really need it right now.

Evelyn, you belong to a book club? That sounds like fun. What are you reading right now?

Hi Peter. So glad to read you're doing well!

Paul, don't feel pressured by our high expectations of you. We love you whether you get the sales award next month or not. After all, that manager is an old hand at this sales thing. Positive hopes for you and yours.

Happy positive thoughts headed to everyone!
Where's Kelli? Is she still napping?

Love!!!!!
Whitney

Goodmorning, all!

Tim, last night I looked at a few websites on Central Auditory Processing Disorder. It sounded so familiar. Then I realized that my ENT doctor had mentioned it to me when I went in the have my hearing checked. (From time to time, I have had trouble hearing and processing what I've heard.) From what he said and what I've read so far, people can experience this to varying degrees. I don't know where your son is on the spectrum, but the biggest challenge may be in dealing with the educational system. I really hope your children's school is proactive with these kids who need extra help. If not, you and your wife may have to fight to get him what he needs.

Sharing Stephen Hawking's story was a good idea, Whitney. I'm sure there are other stories of people to inspire him, too. We're all challenged to one degree or another.

Whitney and Evelyn, thanks for your thoughts and encouragement and prayers. People who know about this kind of cancer are surprised that she's lived this long. I'm not asking for anything short of a miracle.

Peter, Paul, and Tim. I'm still impressed with the housecleaning. I don't think I've ever met anyone who likes it; but it sounds like you try to do your share. My husband was raised by a Jewish mother and, let's just say, housekeeping was never his priority. Good thing he has other redeeming qualities :))!

Happy Birthday, Susan and congratulations to you and other here on the weight loss. I'm in my second week of Atkins diet and I know I've taken off at least 5 lbs. Still craving carbs; but I feel clearer and more energetic. Just wish I could do a vegetarian version.

For those of you who grind your teeth with every word out of George Dubbya's mouth, I have a cartoon from the New Yorker hanging over my desk. A man is visiting the office of a Cryogenics company. He tells the proprietor, "I'd like to have myself frozen until the Democrats regain control of Congress." From what I gather, a few prominent Republican contributors feel the same way.

Just did my workout. It really helps to have everyone's encouragement, but I've known for some time that until I accept the fact that weight lifting and aerobic training is a permanent part of my adult life, it'll be hard to maintain my weight loss accomplishments. Persistence is the key. You know you really want something if you keep trying for it. It took me 3 tries to stop smoking. I'll lift and tread my butt through the rest of my life if that's what it takes. I can't settle for a diminished capacity to enjoy life at any age!

My grandfather isn't doing the best, but we aren't giving up. I visited around lunch. His daughter, Aunt Sherri was there and we were able to get him to eat. He's pretty out of it. He may still get to stay at his current assisted care facility (which we like) but, on a floor that's geered to that level of care. God willing, I'll be here to visit and make sure he's cared for. Career wise, leaving would be smarter but, family is so precious. I suspect life is more about that sort of love than romance or chasing fantasies?

I'm getting long winded again. Sorry.
Love!!!

Whitney,
I very much hope that your grandfather improves soon. Times like this are so very hard.
A huge pat on the back for sticking with the weights & aerobics. You're right, it does need to be a permanent lifestyle comittment, otherwise the gains soon disappear. You're doing really well and I'm genuinely impressed by that.
I've been cycling every 2nd or 3rd day for over two weeks now. The gains are coming rapidly. I'll start the next stage (weights) as soon as my body is ready.

Tim,
Regarding your son's "difficulty". I have had some very positive results from specialists trained in Applied Kinesiology (AK). This particular field focuses on learning enhancement, specifically, removing the neural imbalances that are stopping us from reaching our full potential. Many of these can be neuro-emotional, with a whole host of causes, most of them unexpected.
This therapy is very commonly used all around the world, including the US. I strongly recommend that you look into this. It's a completely natural, drug-free approach that uses similar methods that chiropractors and holistic healing employs.
It's proven and quite mainstream now. Many psychologists and other so called "orthodox" practitioners are now employing it as an alternative methodology, because it works.
I personally know of at least 50 people in the local area that take their children to an AK practitioner, to assist with varying types and degrees of learning difficulties.
As an example, autism is one of the commonly treated conditions. Look at it as "enhancement". I've undergone a programme myself, with huge benefits. Believe me, I wouldn't stick my neck out on this if I didn't believe that this could be of benefit. Please make some enquiries.

Best wishes to all,
Peter

Tim,
BTW, a personal example: as a child, my own academic achievement only reached it's full potential on infrequent occassions (much to my teachers' constant dismay). My results were OK, but I certainly wasn't performing anywhere near where the tests indicated that I should. Yet, my I.Q. has been measured by conventional tests as being somewhere in the top 0.1% of the population. See my point? There are loads of other factors that affect performance. A high I.Q does not mean that you can always use all of that potential. That's where the AK is of benefit, in being able to access what you have.
Your child should not punish himself, it's not his fault. I grew up with some of that and it's no fun. I hope this helps.
Peter

Hello All,

The caring and compassion and respect on this board holds no bounds. I am so blessed to "know" you.

Diane, I must have missed your note on your friend Audrey. What kind of cancer does she have?
I will gladly include her on my prayer list also.

Tim, sounds like Peter has a good portion of the ticket!! Check it out. I know that COBRA only does so much..

Whitney, I'm glad that you are willing to take up the gauntlet concering your grandad. I did too. My dad was 89 before he finally passed away. He was in a nursing facilty for about 3 and 1/2 years. I visited at all hours. The night shift new me very well. hahaha. It really does improve the quality of care, unfortunatly, if you visit often and make know your presence and get to know the nurses that take care of him. I know that's why dad lived so long and was so well taken care of. I'm so glad that Medicare kicked in after awhile. We could not have afforded his care much longer. Is your grandmother still living? Seeing a probate attorney was one of the best things we ever did. It saved my mom's house and her half of their savings. Otherwise she would have been desitute. I don't know how old he is or how "well healed". An attorney might be a good thing to look into.

HOpe all is well with everyone. Paul, I hope your sales are booming. I'm sure your charming personality and awesome smile have something to d