Paul's Corner

Dear Paul,

Thank you for considering the idea of changing your picture. I'm sure all of your fans will be thrilled to see something that reflects the real you today!

Paul, parents are the first teachers that our children have early on, and you know that many children, young or adult, will choose to emulate the actions, (good ones, I hope) of their parents.

For instance, once while visiting our children and grandchildren, one of our daughters took out a well- stocked tool box, and began to choose a tool that she needed. On seeing the tool box, I asked her when she learned to use tools, and she replied, "Muuuther, don't you remember when you used tools all the time when we were growing up?"

Paul, your "tools" are your incredible talent as a performer, your ability to reach others with your remarkable insight into the human spirit, and your love of people. Mimicry? Maybe, but isn't that the finest form of flattery?

I wish to remind you how you have influenced so many people of all ages. If you check the "Guestbook" you will read how young people are eager to take dance lessons after watching you in SB. Even former dancers have expressed their desire to upgrade their skills!

I have recently been reading that astute critics have finally come to their senses, and have been reporting that of the "trilogy" of Baz Luhrmann's films, "Strictly Ballroom", "Romeo and Juliet" and Moulin Rouge", "Strictly Ballroom" is Baz's finest for, as "Fran" says, "...you kept it simpler and danced from the heart."

Love, Grandma Mildred, The Elder
(It should read "Great-Grandma" now,
but I want to "keep it simpler" too!)

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.”

despite this great quote, i agree that it should be more participatory/reciprocol. when you involve yourself in the process of learning you put down your notebook and use your hands, heart and limbs.

sorry, forgot to "sign" the post. it's monday, what can i say.

Well Paul, I don't know exactly how I'm teaching my children but I know they are learning. I see many of my little idiosyncrasies coming out. I have tried not to pass on my fears, my habits and even my religion. Like you said I want them to live their lives not mine over again. I can only hope that they will adapt what they learn to their own style, much like a martial artist takes what he can use from his master and works from there. Only time can tell if I've done my best.
So far, so good.

Re-remembering...

This is a term (or "re-member")that has been used recently in a conversation I was having with another woman who "studies" the old ways. We have figured out that there is the core in us that Knows. It is up to us to learn how to open that core, how to recognize and trigger the "memories" or the knowledge, and then (the HARDEST part)to use that for the GOOD of ALL (not just what I want today, thank you very much, or what I THINK is best for the situation).

I, personally, work with the natural forces in recognizing the awakening that has occurred in myself. I use gardening, herbs, teas, animals, trees, water, and rocks to attune myself and help me re-member myself with the "whole". Paul's using the mind/reality, physical grids of the body and energy centers to re-member himself and to attain what is within him.

This whole global (and some say trans-universal) collective soul awakening is just phenomenal. If only the recognized "leaders" of our world would get a clue, it'd sure make my work a lot easier...

;-)
With Love,
Dhiana

PS. On a totally different note...my ears were rudely awakened this am to "PAUL MERCURIO, arrested for approving sex scandal in St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC"...turns out some radio exec for a big NY radio show (same name as you, dahling, but I'm assuming that that is where the likeness ends) set-up this sex contest where couples get points for doing the wild thang in public places, and a couple was caught in the middle of a SERVICE that was being given at the cathedral. We all know how Paul feels about the skin-to-skin thing, so I got a little chuckle out of this IDIOT producer with his crappy contest and his general disrespect for other people. Not "our" Paul!

Paul, I absolutely love the topic!!!! And just reading what you said about teaching and learning and being taught triggered a flood of thoughts in me, but since I'm technically speaking "officially" at work now, I will have to leave it until later. But it also triggered a sadness in me, since I didn't teach last academic year and I'm also not doing it this year either and I MISS IT!!! But I needed to get away from my former boss (Big smile on that one) who poisened my soul (I know that's a very strong statement, but this is the only way I can describe that experience) and that was an environment I needed to get out of, if I was going to make it. More on this subject matter later.

Texas, if I rember this correctly, you are having your hepatitis C test done today or very soon. I wish you a lot of calmness and inner peace and I will channel some of the positive-result energy your way that my sister just had this weekend. She was tested for breast cancer and the test came back negative and she is okay. Big hurray on that one!!! and also a lot of thankfulness.

evelyn: it means a lot that you remembered. yes, i got tested today, and get the results on wednesday. i'm pretty optimistic. i think the worst part about going to the doctor is getting on that frickin' scale anyway! again, thank you for thinking of me.

Dear Paul,

Thanks so much for your comments on teaching. It brings up the fact that learning is not a passive process but an active one. And also that we have a choice as to what we accept and take in from our teachers. In other words, we do not have to take everything they teach or say as "truth" but to judge for ourselves, "Is this something that resonates with me?" "Does that correlate with my own past experiences?" In other words, don't just passively accept what a teacher says, think about it. Let it be a starting point for your own growth. Thank you for giving me something to ponder and learn from.

Caroline

Okay, I'm going to do something "odd" for a moment and limit myself to being the so-called teacher, since this is the profession I have chosen for myself--actually I think it chose me first. I don't believe in this separation of one person in the classroom "just being the teacher" and the rest "just being the students" which is what a lot of my professional training was about. As I said at the end of the previous thread, which seems to have triggered Paul to start this new discussion, I'm really objecting to being objectified as "the teacher = sole fountain of knowledge in the classroom." I'm objecting to my colleagues who want me to be this certain kind of "teacher" but also to students who want me to do all the work for them and just teach them the subject matter, rather than them putting in the effort to learn and making it a two-way street or perhaps better a multi-way system of interconnected streets. If I want to be true to my own teaching style and my teacher-soul, I have to grant these students the right not to want to learn and to simply be there to meet a college requirement or whatever other reason they may have for being there, but it always makes me sad [and quite frankly there sometimes is the part in me that wants to strangle them for their lack of enthusiasm for life-long learning :(]. I will try to help them develop a more positive attitude about learning, but that does not work with every student. Learning for me seldom (if ever) is just about the subject matter that I'm officially teaching. It is about life and being true to oneself, helping each other find our way, to become whole. I usually learn just as much, and perhaps even more than my students do with each class that I am teaching.--Now I'm troubled by how many times I've just used a form of "teach-" in what I just wrote, since I feel that the students are active teachers in our shared class-experiences as well and they know that. Their fountains of knowledge are much more important to me than is my own, esp. when it gets singled out. I rarely lecture, a method I'm intensely uncomfortable with, and most of our work together is interactive and collaborative. Creating this safe space where they are willing to be themselves and attempt new things, learn new things, think through new ideas is absolotely important to me but also in general and on the first day of class we establish our own class ground rules, but honesty, trust and respect are key elements for our shared journey. We revisit them throughout the term to see if they still work for us and negotiate new ones, if we feell there is a need for that. And I try to have a very open discussion and dialogue going on all the time, where we talk about how things are going, how we can make the learning experience a more effective one for all of us. Most students unfortunately are not used to such interactions, while most of them are quite willing to come on board, so to speak, there are always those who will resist this kind of learning environment. Granted it forces them to work more and be responsible for their own learning, but they miss out on the best part and the most fun parts of our intereactions. Developing that kind of raport of course takes time, but it amazes me how quickly it usually happens, if I manage to set a positive tone and example on the first day. Okay, now I lost my train of thought and can't remember where I was going with this.... perhaps I should leave it at that for now and reflect a bit more on this.

But one more thing, Paul, What a great way to begin teaching a class!!! Making it clear to your "students" that it is up to them how much they will learn if anything. Are they used to that kind of approach? How did they react? This reminds me of a day perhaps 9 or 10 years ago, when I actually walked out on my students, since none of them had done any work for quite a while and I told them that unless they would participate, no learning could take place and of course they blew me off so the next day, when it became clear to me within a minute or two of having arrived in the classroom that again they simply wanted me to teach them without them participating, I walked out on them and told them that we were wasting each others time. I can still remember their stunned looks and even shock to this day and there's a part in me which still wonders "who was that woman that walked out on them, was that me?" I have no idea what possessed me that day, but it worked wonders for our interactions for the rest of the term and learing happened afterwards. They did get the message and it was wonderful to experience that transformation, esp. since I was still a very young teacher (both in age and professionally) I've never done that again, and would caution anyone be very careful to pick the right moment for it, but when it happens to also do it. Okay, now I'm going to reunite with the rest of me and be the simultaneous teacher-learner-explorer etc.

Duh, Hi Pahl...

Show me a teacher with nothing more to learn and you will see a person with nothing left to give. I love Texas' quote and think it is very apt, the truth in teaching I am talking about goes as follows - the teacher whom teaches those to fish through example is a leader, a leader who is prepared to follow is a student and a student prepared to lead by example is a teacher - for they are teaching themselves.

I am going around in circles.

Like you Innussiq I hope that I am teaching my children through example, I also hope they realise when I set a bad example (an important part of the process and in honesty one that cannot be avoided). Fear love joy saddness suffering are all parts of the experience of living and therefore important parts of the learning of life and the teachings of life. Those things we try not to pass on are often those things that our children will be more interested in finding out about. Offer without fear and they will not fear the offer but look at it openly and choose thier own way.

I pray I may unconditionally do this, for my children and yours, for you and for me.

Children are complex little creatures, aren't they? My husband laughs at me every time he hears me trying to rationalize (in vain, of course) with my two-year old. I'm sure children do all of their learning by example in their early years. They simply don't have the reasoning or language skills to learn any other way, despite all the precocious things young kids say. It's all too easy to forget how closely my children are watching me.

But how and when do children obtain reasoning skills? 10, 15, 25 years old? 25 was about the age when I had my first actual class dedicated to critical thought and discussion. It seems to me that we may never loose the ability to learn from example (Though, my own mother would say that raising children was 75% nature and only 25% nurture. I wonder what that says about me?). How many parents sit down and discuss the paper with their kids regularly. We wait until the kids are in bed to have philisophical discussions with other adults. But children still need us to SHOW them how to evaluate life, how to ask questions and arrive at answers. Sometimes I think we shield our children from things we think they can't understand, when infact, content is not nearly as important as context. Of course, if we don't evaluate and experience life ourselves, our children will never learn from our example. Though, I can't imagine any parent here having that problem.

All I can do is include my children in all aspects of my life and hope they learn how to seek out knowledge and wisdom, for knowledge and wisdom will not fall into their laps. And as Evelyn very aptly pointed out, one cannot learn to be wise by following the directions on a handout.

So sometimes we must let our children make mistakes, tell them we were wrong, share with them our own past, show them unconditional love and remember that they are always watching and learning.

With 9/11 coming back around, I was wondering how you all handled explaining that horrible day to your children. Heather mentioned how we have a tendency to shield our children from things we don't think they'll understand.

I'm sure that just sitting down and trying to assauge their fears had to be learning experiences for all of you. How did you find the right words to keep them from running and hiding under their covers for the rest of their lives? Did you find that they were stronger than you thought? Did you learn from their strengths?

I know I personally learned from the faces of the men and women as they exited the Towers and how New York handled itself as a unit during the aftermath. The human spirit is not as easily crushed as some might hope.

Unfortunately, I was divorced when my son was only 7 years old. He's now 30 and he's one heck of a decent human being. (No prejudice here, mind you!!) I always say that he turned out well IN SPITE of his parents. I've come to realize, though, that no matter how we raised him and taught him, if we had not had good clay with which to work, nothing we did to mold him would have turned out right. So this bolsters your theory, Paul, that we can TEACH all day long, but it's the LEARNING that determines how a person turns out.

Pam
Williston, Florida USA

Sorry, forgot to mention that I'm new to the board, having just found this site. I've enjoyed Paul's work since first seeing him several years ago ... and I just ADORED Exit to Eden!! And also enjoyed Joseph very much.

Pam
Williston, Florida USA

I'm still troubled by my overuse of teacher in my previous post and am working out why I'm feeling so conflicted about it, since I also feel very passionate about my profession. But I'm getting this distinct feeling, that I'm reacting against a very elitist and ego-centric definition of "teacher" that I see predominantly around me in my profession. But there are also very good teachers/guides/leaders out there and what you describe as "going around in circles" Paul, I think is totally on!! I hope that I'm going around simultaneously in these circles as a teacher/leader/student all at the same time, for they should be linked.

In an attempt to focus my fears about caving in and becoming a self-centered, ego-tripping teacher, I made the following list this morning about learning and the fountain of knowledge. This list is not limited to learning in the classroom, but much more broadly about myself and my life with all its aspects.

Learning & the Fountain of Knowledge
Who and what inspires me to learn?

• people with a great sense of humor
• people who are open, transparent about themselves, who admit not to knowing and having all the answers
• people who allow me to be myself, who won’t tell me what and how to learn
• people who are interested in my learning, in my experiences, in my thoughts and who are willing to listen to all this and share theirs with me in like manner
• people who allow me to find my own way, who won’t tell me what to do, who will let me fall flat on my face if that’s the path I choose and who won’t tell me afterwards "I told you NOT to ... !!!" or "If only you had listened to me!", but instead help me get up and make me feel okay about that choice and help me keep going as I stumble, dance, or calmly move along life’s journey
• people who don’t think in either/or categories
• people who allow me to tap into their fountain of knowledge
• people who see me as a whole person and interact with me as such and don’t dissect me into different pieces and only chose that dissected part of me they feel comfortable with
• people who will allow me not to learn at times and therefore "only get to feed me the fish" rather than "teach me how to catch it myself" until I’m ready again to want to learn how to catch the fish myself
• people who allow me to learn from them whatever it is I want to learn from them, who give me the right to reject parts or all of their beliefs (I’m particularly thinking here about my relationship with Mum and Dad)
• people who allow me to make my own experiences, allow me to make whatever of their experiences mine that I want to make mine, without force-feeding it to me

Tapping into other people’s fountain of knowledge: sharing and caring for each other, not holding back. It enriches & replenishes my fountain of knowledge and by the way, isn’t the source of all our individual fountains of knowledge deep down the same?

Hello Paul
Your thoughts on teaching v’s learning reminded me of a book called “On Becoming a Person” by Carl Rogers (an American psychologist/counsellor I’ve got a lot of time for). His views on education seem to correspond so much to yours that at the risk of writing a ridiculously long posting, I’ve paraphrased a chapter where he talks about Classroom Approaches to Influencing Human Behaviours.

He says
“ It seems to me that anything that can be taught is relatively inconsequential and has little or no significant influence on behaviour. I have come to feel that the only learning which significantly influences behaviour is self-discovered, self-appropriated learning. Such self-discovered learning, truth that has been personally appropriated and assimilated in experience cannot be directly communicated to another. When I try and teach, … I find that the results are damaging. It seems to cause the individual to distrust his own experience and to stifle significant learning. Therefore I realize that I have lost interest in being a teacher.”

His alternative to being a conventional teacher is that the teacher should “merely” (merely - ha!) create a classroom environment where this significant learning can take place. To do this, the teacher firstly has to be themselves, and accept their own attitudes. Secondly, they also have to accept and empathise with the attitudes of the students (“unconditional positive regard” in counsel-speak). And then finally they have to do is make available to the students all the material resources they need to learn from. Other than that, it’s up to the student to educate themselves.

On testing the effectiveness of this theory it was found that the amount of learning done in “student centred” classes was roughly about the same as the amount done in conventional classes. However the students in the student centred classes showed significantly more personal adjustment, self-initiated extra-curricular learning, creativity and self-responsibility.

So what do I think? Well, for one thing, more personal adjustment, creativity and self-responsibility? Yes please! However it’s really hard to see beyond the conventional way of teaching. Especially since our whole social structure is tied up with it – exams and results and what have you. Maybe I think there’s a place for both kinds of educating. Like, I definitely want my doctor to have been “taught” all the basics. I don’t want him missing any parts of my anatomy out because he didn’t want to learn that bit. On the other hand, I also want him to be motivated to keep himself up to date on all the latest diseases and cures, and be creative in his diagnosis, and take responsibility for curing me!

And my final two thoughts (what, MORE stuff?)

1) My son Joe cannot be “taught” anything! Is that the case with all 3 year olds? On the few occasions when I’ve tried - hopeless. Any skills he’s got he’s developed all on his own – or with my help, but ONLY if I’m genuinely enthusiastic about the subject
So, he refuses to do jigsaws any more because once I meddled with the way he was doing it. So, he never hits anything with his toy tennis bat (apart from me) because he won’t be shown how to hold it the “right” way. But on the other hand, he’s brilliant at counting, because I love numbers. He loves fishing because his Dad loves fishing.
2) I can’t be “taught” anything either! (hmmmm…. wonder where Joe gets it from then?). When I “get sent” on training courses at work, and I can’t avoid them, I find the whole process of being lectured or taught intensely and deeply and completely dull, dull, dull. So what happens? I pay the minimum of attention, just enough to absorb what I need to know. Sometimes I read the notes, if I’m lucky enough to get handouts. But most of all, within five minutes of starting the course, I tune out most of the talk, put on a vaguely attentive face and my mind has wandered naturally and inevitably towards … sex. Don’t ask me why! Put me in a classroom and I think about sex.

Come on, own up now! Surely it can’t just be me
Lots of love and best wishes to everyone

Dear Paul,
As a parent you think of these things all the time. But, lately, I have really been thinking of this. It is very complicated for me since I have three step-daughters as well as two boys of my own and our little girl together. I am harder on my boys because I tend to want to "make" them grow up with my values. My step daughters I tend to be "easier". See, my step-daughters' mother has a drug addiction and is now working for a carnival, so, she is hardly around now. My husband always says "You're their mom", But I say I am not. They have a mom, but I'm here for them, I provide for them and hopefully my actions will help them grow up to do better than their mother. It can be so complicated. My oldest step-daughter had a son 6 months ago. She's sixteen now. I tried so hard but they have their own mind and they get to a certain age and suddenly they "know everything".... :)
My mom always told me "Wait until you have your own children!" Now I know. Now, my oldest son has just been grounded because he is letting his grades drop(and its only the third week of school). I talk to all of the kids and I tell them I expect certain things of them while they are at home. When they grow up they have to make decisions for themselves, so they need to take the time to learn now. "Sometimes" they listen :)
I really believe children immiate your actions ... But they still need your guidance. Because wisdom only comes with age and experience.

I just responded but I was doing some thinking while I threw my laundry in the dryer. So, I went back and reread the posted thought.
Children need a foundation to know "what, how and why they are". They need a history of themselves to decide that. As a parent you provide that foundation and history by how and what you do and say. And how you interact with them and other people in this world. Is that more to the point?

i was just in a meeting with the c.e.o. of oxygen women's television and we were discussing formalized learning and how she and i both hated it. i hated the homework and the lectures, but loved the fellowship with instructors and classmates. one of my favorite examples to counter the formalized learning concept is how abe lincoln lived in that log cabin yet taught himself law. today, we are even more fortunate to have advantages like the internet to self-teach, self-explore. obviously, some people aren't disciplined or inspired enough to discover and teach themselves, and at the same time, i also think community learning is just as important. book clubs, this web site, the oprah phenomenon. these are all teachers of this fluid knowledge we were discussing in today's meeting. you become the expert of your own life. for instance, since the discovery of hepatituts c in my family, i have been finding out as much as i can about it. what do you think of this fluid learning (i actually call it lifestyle learning, but another girl in the meeting said it was like curating your own life. i thought that was cool.)?

Hi Paul,

First of all let me say I am so glad that it is not you that is involved in the scandal.

Second, I have loved you and Baz since my first viewing of Strictly Ballroom; and trust me on this there have been many more viewings and I now own the DVD.

Thirdly, and more to the point of the topic I have just finished helping to direct a summer play for children ages 10 through 20 and it was quite the experience.

One of the things we said to them last was, Did you make some news friends, did you learn something or better yourself in some way, and did you have fun.

From my own personal standpoint closing night was very bittersweet - I will miss the kids dearly, but am glad it is over for it was a great amount of stress.

Anywhoo I love your site and that you have such contact with your fans/admirers...whatever you call us..

toodles from the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania
~Kelly

Paul,
of course I'm breaking with this thread briefly, but I just wanted to let you know that I mailed the image to you today and that you should have it within 5 - 7 business days. Since I did not want to choose which of the two versions you would get , I made my cat Freyja choose. So if you "object" to her choice, you will have to take this up with her. :-) I am absolutely NOT kidding about her having made the decision!!! My version is now hanging in my living room. And here's to hoping that the glass won't break (even though I went for a plexiglass version for obvious reasons...)

Yes, she's BACK from starring as the lead in "The Sinus Infection That Couldn't Kill Her!"

Dhiana here...all drugged up--for once in my life--but actually feeling better...so I wanted to chip in for a sec. because out of the blue, in my impacted-sinus haze Monday night, I was asked to teach a class this fall semester...on my thesis topic. (Yah, that one that I never finished...). I play music as a part time job with a few different folk, and one of the gents happens to be the Dean of a local college. He asked me to spot-teach on a subject on which I am supposed to be an "expert" (gulp) and which will require me to do some heavy reading and prep work for the subject matter (read: the "facts").

I almost said no. Then I thought of you guys, and Paul's new thread, and I said "Yes" instead. I wanted to afford myself the opportunity to LEARN more about myself by putting myself in this situation. I've taught before (not college) but the level doesn't matter. I love the subject (author Sam Shepard--before he was a WELL known actor)and this puts me in a situation where I can put to task all these wonderful things you've all been discussing.

SO, thank you. I'll let you know how the prep is coming along, how the class goes, and what comes of it--for me, and for them. I'll be sure to include a follow-up quickie question period the next month or two afterwards just to see what they've carried with them.

On the note of kids--THE hardest thing as a Mom has been to keep my MOUTH SHUT and my HANDS OFF when they are attempting something...even something as trivial to us as tieing a shoelace while the car is running and the precious seconds of morning are ticking by as they're saying to themselves "Cross the bunny ears...pop it in the hole..." AGH! HURRY UP! I CAN DO IT FASTER! JUST LET ME DO IT, PLEASE!!! Sitting on my hands while they are using scissors...putting Legos together...brushing their teeth...all these menial little things that are to them, major milestones, all things that we HAVE to let them do so they learn how to help themselves and have CONFIDENCE.

Confidence is the key. Look at any one around you whom you feel has "issues" and you will see inside of them a center of low self-worth, for whatever reason. I was lucky, and my parents instilled this in me by offering music lessons, teaching me to swim, drive a boat, camp overnight at Girl Scouts, knit (ok, so I suck at this one--but I could do it if I HAD to), cook, sing, read, be responsible for myself at home alone, selling things to neighbors for school, etc. I am at ease with my world--mostly--because my parents taught me in the old fashioned sense, and even if I rotted at the outcome (see "knitting" above) I learned that I was smart, I could do it if I applied myself, could handle something new, tackle it, understand it, and use it, with them there or without them there. That is what "teaching" to ME is all about.

When there's time, I'll tell you how I applied this to our first "real problem" with our five year old. I'll just sum up the outcome with the mantra I kept repeating to him..."You are never alone...my love is always in your heart, always. Use it when you don't think you have the strength. That's why it's there." Hopefully, that will be enough for him.

This came in an email from a friend, and I particularly like the way the teaching question is phrased. But the kicker was the closing quote by Charles Schultz--;-)

Take this quiz:
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and
actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel
appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier?

The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.

They are the ones that care.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.

It's already tomorrow in Australia."

This is my first commment post here. I really liked how you discussed all this. Especially the last paragraph. They are trying to ruin us--turn into PC robots with no orginal thoughts of our own. But you know what--they'll never succeed. There are so many diverse books, cultures, languages, people out there that there is little chance we'll turn into a 1984 society.

I liked that you have gone back to doing something that the touring didn't enable you the time to do--the Tai Chi. It is a sort of like you are saying "you might not have a chance to do one of your interests exactly when you want to, but you'll get the chance." I really like that attitute.

Sorry if this comments of mine sound so formal. I will write more comments in the future that won't sound so formal, but right now, (I know you'll hate to hear this boring old phrase), it doesn't seem as though I am sending comments to a celebrity.

Lesley, I think I'll have to go look for the book you mentioned by Carl Rogers. This seems to resonate strongly with me right now as well, esp. the alternative vs. conventional teacher. Over the course of the last 10 years I've been striving to become more of an alternative teacher, but it is not an easy process (at least not for me) because of the way the educational system is set up and sometimes the students' resistance to try somethig new and then of course there is my own reluctance to open up and change, to go beyond what feels safe simply because it's always been like that.

I think that the definition of what learning is needs to change, esp. in educational systems, and of course I disagree with the study that finds that the amounts of what is learned in the conventional and the student-centered classroom are pretty much the same. Perhaps in terms of the official course material, but not in terms of all the other aspects of learning that took place. This summer I've run into many of my former students and it was really nice seeing them again and talking to them about their life etc. and it's amazing what they've taken away from our classroom experiences and it's been much more about who we are and our beliefs, how they changed etc. than actual knowledge of German. We laughed about so many memories that came up, a lot of which I have forgotten myself and I think that that is much more to the point of what learning is about, even though academia tells me otherwise. "Merely" creating that kind of learning environment is a lot of work and a lot more work than "just" being the conventional teacher that force-feeds knowledge to the students [not that that isn't a lot of work either]. In my strive of becoming and being an alternative teacher, I always run into this wall of hierarchies in having to give exams, papers etc. to evaluate their learning. It just puts the hierarchies back up there (me the teacher that gives grades and therefore holds power over the students vs. them who are students and depend on the grades I will give them), that I work so hard on breaking down during class--Ugghhh! How do I get out of that one? How can one evaluate learning that goes beyond the class material and that does not focus on the grades? How does one move students away from focusing on grades as the only thing that matters to focusing on life-long learning?

On to what Dhiana said. First of all you have my sympathies on the sinus infection. I get them a lot myself and usually combined with an abscessed tooth-->root-canal-->crown. Which triggers what, I don't know and the drugs always make me grouchy and upset my stomach and generally put me in a bad mood... But back to teaching and learning: Good for you to take on this teaching assignment!!! I'm very proud of you and hope that it will be wonderful for your own learning and that of your students & good luck on prepping. It doesn't seem that you have a lot of time, if you are teaching in the Fall. Of course now I would like to know how you are going to do the 2 month after the end of term follow up with them? I've always thought about it and never found a way to make it happen, since the students had moved into a new term and were completely absorbed in their next set of classes. In order for me to get their input, I've shifted that into the actual term itself, where I do a variety of things, such as meeting with everyone individually, in small groups, have discussions with the entire class, written feedback etc. The advantage that that has is that you can still change things and improve the learning experience within the context of the class and you keep the channels of discusssion open with your students (which I'm not going to call co-learners!!!). If you leave that to the end of the term, there's nothing you can do about their dissatisfaction with the course and in a way the feedback on the standardized university evaluation forms is more or less meaningless to me, because they rarely tell you what they really think.

I also like the two quizzes you gave us, I failed miserably on # 1 and did very well on #2. :)

Oh back to the boredom issue that I think Lesley also mentioned. I've been there many a time as a student and oftentimes those are my most productive thinking moments, where I sort out whatever it is I'm sorting out at that point in my life--a much better use of my time than being bored by a lecture, of which I can read the content in a book anyway. To flip this over to the other side of the coin, when I as a teacher am bored with what is going on in the classroom, I definitely know that I have a problem and that something needs to change,VERY FAST, and not just for myself, but esp. for the students.

I would be interested in hearing or reading about "creepy," "eery", or "freaky" occurrences in others' lives. My husband had a really freaky incident a few years ago that sends a cold chill down my back every time I think about it. It concerns Mike's father, who died in a car wreck 36 hours before Mike's birth in 1955, and a man that Mike happened to meet in a truck stop in north Florida about 1995. If anyone is interested in hearing this weird story, let me know and I'll tell you a hair-raising tale. Or tell us your scary story. You may want to start another thread on this one instead of staying in this same forum, though.

By the way, since I'm new to this type of thing, is it okay to suggest this? Or have I stepped on any toes? If so, my apologies, and I'll bashfully bow out.

Pam
Williston, FL

I just noted a pretty bad typo in my previous post, which exactly states the opposite of what I wanted to day--I'm writing a reflective piece on a teaching experience for my teaching portfolio and wanted to look at what I had written here the other day, when I noticed the typo--What I accidentally wrote toward the end of that long entry was " students (which I'm not going to call co-learners!!!)" of course I meant to write "which I'm NOW going to call co-learners!!!" and maybe I should change this even more and call myself their co-learner. Back to that reflective writing piece...and hopefully no other weird typos from me :)

Ugghhh! Will I ever learn to spell correctly???? of course "to day" needs to be "to say".... I give up :)

Hello to everyone. My name is Michelle, and I live in the Chicago suburbs. I decided the time was right to come off my little cloud where I've been lurking, and join in the discussion.
The subject of teaching/learning is one that I've spent a great amount of time thinking about over many years. We decided to take our son out of school in the second grade after three years of him being depressed. It was the best decision we ever made.
I'm not saying homeschooling is for everyone, and I'm not here to convert anyone. I just know it has made our lives so much better. My son is 13 now and doing very well. (I should tell you that we do not homeschool for religious reasons.)We have chosen to let him learn by following many of his interests and have tried to show by example how important it is to be passionate about what you love. I feel that the most important things I can do for him are allow him to be Who He Is and help him in becoming Who He Wants To Be.
We get a lot of flack from people about homeschooling; it isn't always easy following the road less traveled. Once you have gone against the grain, though, you find that there may be other areas of your life that would benefit from change of some sort.
Mostly I wanted to say that I know that my son learns very little when he is being taught in a traditional manner. He has taught ME that learning can be done in a myriad of ways, many of which most people would deem unconventional. Our family is so much richer since we have learned this and we have applied it to many other areas of our lives.
Many people ask about my son's social life. They shouldn't worry. He has many friends, most go to public school. He's just a cool kid who's a lot of fun to be around, and I couldn't be prouder of him.
He is sharing vast quantities of information about punk rock with me lately. We've been listening to The Ramones and talking about their music. I have been sharing my concerns about the Middle East and the environment with him. There is no delineation between learning and not learning in our home. We are always finding new and interesting things to either share with each other, or immerse ourselves in.
I have enjoyed learning about all of you while reading your posts. This group seems to be very diverse in both personality and opinion, which makes for some good reading. I hope to share more of myself later, but for now I'm off to have a beer and listen to some good music with my better half. Thanks for listening....

Michelle

This subject has sent my head spinning. There is so much to say about teaching and learning and the more I pondered it, the more tangents I took off on. I've been operating in crisis mode for over a week and this is the first opportunity I've had to post. I suppose I should be sleeping, but I didn't want to let this strand pass me by. Fortunately, the comments here, from Paul's statements on, pretty much said what I think.

I read a great quote recently. It goes something like this: "Education is not a the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." There's also the saying that teaching is a great way to learn.

I agree, Dhiana. Confidence and healthy self-esteem are absolutely essential to learning. If you don't think you can learn, you won't absorb what others offer and you won't explore your own potential for learning. I have several friends who are teachers and I greatly respect the work they do. (I've also known a few teachers who shouldn't have entered the profession.) But traditional education and the politics that manipulate it in our society don't support instruction that respects various learning styles and talents. If you're not a academic whiz who is primarily an auditory learner and who picks up facts and figures quickly, you can be swiftly branded (i.e. slow, dull, lazy, low IQ). Or you can be a student who gets it, but refuses to waste time regurgitating information that seems pointless and useless and you can be similarly dismissed.

Two days ago, I was sworn in as a city official (lots and lots of technical reading). I had to spend many hours preparing for my first meeting even as I was in the midst of finalizing all details for my son's Bar Mitzvah (day after tomorrow) and getting my house ready for visiting relatives. (They're arrived yesterday.) I almost didn't take this position because of the time demands, but I find that I 'm both fascinated and frightened by the challenge. I hope my sons will always be willing to challenge themselves and allow themselves to go "into the woods" and enter those places of uncertainty that open them to new understandings.

Hey, Michelle, good for you on homeschooling. If you're up to it and it works for your child, who am I to judge?
(Voucher systems I'm not so wild about, but that's another discussion.)

Oooooh, Pam. I like scary stories. Don't know about anyone else here, though. When I was a child, one of my aunts would shoo the adults outside to chat, while she gathered all the kids around her in my grandparents darkened living room and told us spooky stories. That my grandparents lived a block away from an old cemetary only added to the eerieness. Of course, I was always too freaked out to sleep at their house after that.

Welcome to the newcomers. Best to you all!

Diane

1. To Paul. I'm always more concerned with how my children view me handling problems in life more so than dealing with the everyday. I am confident that I live a good life when there are no major problems but I always hope they learn the proper way to cope when things get tough.

2. To Dhiana. Hope you're feeling better. The hands off mouth shut is the hardest parenting technique ever! It takes so much patience to reply to my daughter when she asks how I would do something. I always try to say "well how would you do it, it's your life". This usually comes back to bite me when I say she has to keep her room clean.."it's my life mom." Ha ha and she's only 9. I'm in trouble.

3. To Texas. I believe that fluid learning is a very valueable tool. It's really how learning was done until we all got so academic in the late 18th century. But I know I learn better when doing rather than studying.

4.Welcome to Pam and Michelle! Don't worry we all start out tense but loosen up quick. This is good company you've found (if I do say so myself).

I'll shut up now,
Innussiq.

Welcome Pam & MIchelle!!!
Michelle I think it's wonderful that you took your son out of the public school system that obviously didn't work for him and are home schooling. No matter what I'm going to say now (being a teacher professionally...), it has the potential of being misconstrued, but so be it. I've worked with many students--upps! co-learners--that would have had a better learning experience had they not been put through this one-sided educational system. Working with them was incredibly time-consuming for me and in many ways drained my energy levels, but I wouldn’t want to have missed out on it either. I'll leave it at that.

Pam, scary stories, they scare me and give me nightmares and scary movies, let’s not even go there!!! I guess I still haven’t learned to separate fiction from reality on that one.

Thanks for everyone who said something about parenting. I'm not a parent at this point in my life, but it's something that I think about a lot. Actually right now I'm looking at it from the daughter perspective and trying to sort out some stuff that happened before I was even born, yet it shaped me and is still influencing me in ways I'm not sure I like it to. But I'm also trying to understand it from Mum and Dad's perspective, what they had to deal with and why they have whatever beliefs they have. A bit complicated, since some of these things seem to be "off-limit" for discussion. Glad I have older sisters who have a few more memories than I do. But the impact parents have on their kids is amazing, both in the positive and negative way, of course. Enough for today!

Paul: Glad to hear you are back in the classroom, you have so much talent to share with others.
I had not heard about the tasteless stunt, but would have let it pass me by just like your going bald. Not our Paul.
I'm not in the teaching profession for the same reason I'm not in the nursing profession, NO PATIENCE!
However as manager in several retail environments I too have found it to be easier to teach by allowing the individual to learn by doing. You can give instruction, you can have them read but until they do it for themselves most won't grasp the concept being taught. Fortunately most Cash register programs have a Training mode that makes this quite easy.
While my son was at home attending college I found it disturbing to learn that we had college professors that didn't care if the kids attended class or not. As long as their work was turned in and they were there to take the final that was fine with them. I know I had professors when I went to college that I wondered how they got the job and from what I got out of their lectures I could, and usually did, read out of the text book.
I also think that the students who excell in academic's really have a good study ethic on their own and have a curosity for knowledge. I also think that it takes a teacher with a passion for their subject to get students intrested and excited about learning more.
I think that it has already been voiced here that teaching, learning, teaching is a circle kept going by teacher, learner, teacher.

Hope all is well with you and all who have visited. Have a great weekend.
Sherrlyn

P.S.: I got to watch "Kick" last night. It was very good, I was impressed. Russell must have really been something to see in a live performance, I understand now why his talent will be sorely missed. I could also see your hand in the choregraphy, very good and they gave you credit for it.
Hugs all around.

\\\\\

Regarding SCARY occurrences, I've just thought of a second good scary story about a ghost in my parents' house. Rather than posting both long and involved TRUE stories here, and so that those who don't want to read them won't have to, if you're interested in reading them, just email me (click on my name below) and I'll reply to your email and paste the stories into the reply. Hope everyone has a great Monday ... the students are back at University of Florida and campus is a madhouse!!!

Pam, if you are not sharing your scary stories because of my fear, DON'T. I can always skip that section, but then again, perhaps I need to increase my tolerance levels for scariness :)

Had an "interesting" weekend in terms of the discussion of this thread: teaching, learning and parenting. I got to observe two of my friends and their parenting styles, one I feel comfortable with and the other made me furious, angry and very upset--and of course there's a part in me that feels guilty about my reaction, because after all, who am I to judge? I don't even have kids of my own yet. But I guess I can still see things that are problematic for me, especially the fact that my friend is denying his kids to think for themselves and only validates his view point of the world. Any other opinion (and I fell under that category!!!) is plain wrong and he kept attacking me in front of his kids all weekend long. I chose not to engage in that confrontation with him in front of his kids, but it was tough not to. Definitely not what I would call good parenting...

hey evelyn, i'm hep c free!! woohoo. :)

hope everyone has a wonderful labor day holiday. i'm spending mine with mom (her b-day is the 31st) on our land in idaho hours from cell phone service. just books, 4-wheel atvs, trees and scores of animals you see in disney films.

take care all.

texas, I'm so happy for you!!!!!! I had wondered in the past few days how the results had turned out for you. I'm pretty sure you will enjoy this Labor Day weekend more than normally. Go for it!!!

Texas: I know how relieved you must be and you and your mom will get to celebrate this good news together.

My sister is doing her darndest to get me to go have blood work done for the old inactive thyroid, she thinks the meds need adjusting. I hate needles and am very difficult to stick. Most of the time come out looking like a cheap pin cushion. It's just something that I really have to psyche myself up for.

Hope all have a good Labor Day Weekend. Will most likely work all weekend.

The boss has taken off early 2 nights this week to attend school functions with his 3 boys. They are very bright but he doesn't feel that their teachers push them to their limits. He has even requested that they be placed in classes with equally advanced students. He feels that the teachers teach on the level of their poorest student and the rest of the class is bored, frustrated, and left idle while this is going on. I'm just glad I don't have children in school now.

Paul: What's going on with the Ballet Class and body + soul. We haven't heard from you in a few days. Hope all is well with you and family.

Must get going.
Hugs All Around
Sherrlyn

If I'm not misinformed, this weekend (Labor Day weekend in the US) is Father's Day in Australia, so Happy Father's Day to you Paul (and anyone else out there who is a Dad) and I hope you will be spoiled to the fullest by your four ladies!

Hugs and lots of love all around,
Evelyn

Thanks for asking Sherrlyn.... as always I am contemplating what "it" all means and am about to start a new post regarding "it"

In fact instead of having a big blurb here I will make a few posts at the front.

Happy Labour day weekend every one!!! Congrats too to Texas on your good news!!!!

Hello all,

I can't contribute much b/c I have not kept up....haven't posted....'tis been a particularly hard time for me lately....lots of loss...Never ask if it can get any worse....sometimes I think some karmic force takes the query as a challenge.

I just wanted to say "hello" and maybe get back into the swing of posting...and to let y'all know you've have been in my thoughts...and that I missed the little personal thrill in knowing that Paul Mercurio (dance IDOL with nice toukis) actually knows I exist (albeit on some esoteric philosophical understanding of existence). Sometimes when I am feeling down I think about it and giggle....it's pathetic, I am aware but you take what you can get... :)

all my love,
Sarah

Sarah:

"Toukis." Such a nice technical term, huh? Hope the ride goes a bit more smoothly for you. As is the case with nice, big families, our support is behind you.

I'm off to deejay a wedding. I'm thinking that as long as I can get through it without having to teach the "Chicken Dance," it'll be a good day for me. [For those of you who have no clue what the "Chicken Dance" is, let me try to explain. The party guests stand in a big circle and, while semi-annoying polka music is played, you first open and close your hands like chicken beaks, then you flap your arms up and down, next you wiggle your "toukis," and end with clapping your hands.] I've never really understood it, actually. The Italians have the Tarantella, the people of Jewish decent have the Horah, the Polish have the Polka, and the Irish have Step-Dancing and Jigs. So why do the Pennsylvania Dutch get stuck with the Chicken Dance?

I hope you're all having a nice weekend! Happy Fathers' Day, Paul!

So glad to hear your wonderful health news, Texas. My friend who has been struggling with depression just went through surgery to replace two vertebra that were disintigrating. She spent four years in agony as a result (who wouldn't be depressed?) and aside from the pain from her surgery, the pain from pinched nerves is gone!!! She'll be restricted in her activities for a few months, but she'll be home from the hospital next week. Thank you all very much for your prayers.

Sarah, sorry to hear that life has been tossing and turning you lately. I haven't contributed much lately either, first because I had too much to do surrounding the Bar Mitzvah (which turned out beautifully) and then because I've been trying to recover from exhaustion. I slept 12 hours last night and that was a good start.

I know the Chicken Dance, Kay Lynne. How about the Macarena? I've danced to "YMCA" at several B'nai Mitzvah parties this summer, and also done the Hora. Getting tired just talking about it.

Hugs to you, Sarah. And best to you all!

Diane

Kay Lynne: It's not just the Pennsylvania Dutch that can lay claim to the "Chicken Dance". I think it must be a mandatory thing at all weddings. I know the last 3 that I attended it was performed and they drag everybody onto the dance floor. Ugh! Needless to say the one we are going to in October will also have it's version as well.
Sarah: As to your ups and more downs, you should know by now where to come for support, to vent, and whatever else you can possibly do via Paul's Corner. We are here to listen and support. Hang in there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I've seen it once or twice.
Paul: Happy father's day. I'm sure the girls and Andrea have great things planned for you. Have fun.
I'm out of here for now, everyone have a nice weekend, for what is left of it.
Hugs all Around.
Sherrlyn

Hi everyone. I haven't been here in a while as I was up north in Maine in Acadia. I spent three weeks there with my two daughters. It was amazing. I have been reading a lot of what I missed here while away. Everyone is so insightful and spiritual.

I read about what everyone had to say about teaching and being taught. It seems we can't have one without the other. It's from what I learn from my children that helps me to be a better teacher and mother. It's a circle that never ends. Now that I am in my thirties and am able to a have some perspective in my life time wise I see who truly taught me in my life. I am a patient, understanding and affectionate mother because I had a mother who was all of those things. I learned from being with her and now my children are benefitting and someday my daughter's children will benefit too. Teaching is just another form of love and anything that comes out of love continues on through time and is always growing. Masters were once students and there are students who will become Masters. I like the saying "what goes around comes around" because I know it in my own life to be very true. It can be in a positive way and also in a negative one but it's very true at least from observations of my own life and the world in general. The most effective way to teach is to be good at being who you are and doing what you do and others will see that it is good and follow. As soon as we come out of our mothers bodies and into the world we observe and we mimick. This is essential to learning. In time when we have repeated something over and over it becomes a part of who we are and then we own it and we have learned something. It's all fascinating and I have enjoyed reading everyone's posts. Glad to be back!

Sarah, I'm really sorry that you are having such a difficult time lately. I'm guessing you don't want sympathy and it's not meant this way. I just want to send many happy thoughts your way!!! Do something fun that helps you feel empowered and good about yourself. It helps me when I'm in a dark place.

On to the chicken dance and other "weird" forms of dancing. We have a version of the chicken dance in Germany as well, only it's called the duck dance there. Always disliked it and I guess so far I lucked out at American weddings, that they never did the chicken dance there, only polka and that I dislike just as much, esp. the expectation that simply because I'm German I'm supposed to be polka-dancing all the time and supposedly loving it. I never danced polka in Germany, it's only in the US that I'm expected to do it and I don't like it one bit, and quite frankly, don't know how and don't care to learn it either. Hmm, what happened to my open-mindedness about learning? Laughing at myself and will now quit typing and will bake a German fruit tart instead for tomorrow.
Happy Labor Day, happy Father's Day, Happy Whatever-you-want-it-to-be-Day!

Evelyn,

So I guess that means you don't wear liederhosen, either? (lol)

For those of you following my "thread," the Gods smiled upon me and we didn't do the chicken dance Saturday night. However, we were blessed with a lovely rendition of the Hokey Pokey by all the Mothers, Grandmothers and Aunts of the Bride and Groom. Scary.

Lederhosen, no way!!! But believe me, Kay Lynne, I had to do the Dirndeldress a few times too many since moving to the US... and I'm not even Bavarian. I do have some pictures of me wearing Dirndeldresses somewhere and I usually go for all the stereotypes if I absolutely have to do "it", very much to the disgust of some of my German friends. Why is it that Bavarian is the only or perhaps dominant aspect of German culture that gets imported overseas??? --not that the Black Forrest traditional dress is all that much better, which is the area I'm from. I think I'm beginning to like weddings less and less, too much of a show and too many weird things happen. If I ever get married, I have no idea what I will do, even though I know what I don't want to do and that list is incredibly long.... The Hokey Pokey, Chicken Dance, Polka are definitely banned!!!

Okay group, how else are our children going to get even with us for all the times we embarrassed them in front of all of their friends, unknowingly of course, except by inflicting these awful renditions on us at their weddings.
I still remember trying to keep up with the youngsters at my son's ninth grade banquet and dance when the kids decided they would teach us all to do the Electric Slide.
Okay Paul; where's the new thread. You have me wondering just where you're going to go with "it".
Hope all had a wonderful weekend. It's finally September, and fall is just around the corner.
Hug all around,
Sherrlyn

Paul, whatever happened to your salami? You mentioned them a few times a while ago... Where the heck that thought came from, I don't know, but perhaps I'm craving salami right now.

Hahahahahahaha
Hi Paul,

Evelyn, I was just thinking that myself. Last I heard they were handing outside his office. Is that what they call "curing"?

Hope all is well. Love that you are taking Tai Chi again. Great sport and discipline. How's the ballet class coming?

LOL

Margie

Hahahahahahaha
Hi Paul,

Evelyn, I was just thinking that myself. Last I heard they were handing outside his office. Is that what they call "curing"?

Hope all is well. Love that you are taking Tai Chi again. Great sport and discipline. How's the ballet class coming?

LOL

Margie

hi all,
thanks to everyone for their well wishes. that mountain air and sunshine were fantastic. nothing like playing charades with your 77-yr-old grandmother! got to ride horses and a 4-wheeler.

looking forward to the new post, paul. you've piqued my interest.

diane, happy to hear about your friend's successful surgery.

"Salami", "touckis", see what a girl misses when she's inundated with her in-laws for FFF? (Forced Family Fun).

Sarah, we're with ya hon...and on that karmic thing--methinks we were each sent here to learn a specific lesson. Just how much CAN one take before one breaks? With you, the answer seems to be "a LOT!" And what a "lot" this life is bringing to you. Be patient with yourself. We're here, as always, so rant away if necessary.

Back to the teaching thread...I took my son to Kindergarten orientation yesterday and sat in his chair and viewed things from his perspective. He knows he's there to "learn" things (the three R's, new songs, rules to sports, etc) but he isn't too sure how his teacher is going to KNOW about him. He told me he was used to taking care of himself, but he would do what she wanted him to if that was the way "it's supposed to be". I cringed. I sooo don't want my smart, spirited little boy turned into one of a herd of look-alike, act-alike zombie kids. My gut has been telling me to homeschool this kid from the start. My husband is utterly against it. Kindergarten. "Children" + "garden". Sounds nice. How come this doesn't resemble it?

Sorry, gotta go see when the next PTA meeting is scheduled. ;-)

Dhiana the Worry-wart, aka: Only-Parent-In-The-Universe-Whos-Child-Is-Starting-School-Tomorrow

Awww, Dhiana. I hope that wasn't a dig at the PTA 'cause I'm a former PTA president and Council PTA chairperson. I feel like I have to do a little song and dance in support, so here goes...The PTA has been active for over a century advocating for quality education and for child and family safety and welfare (school lunches, health issues, class-size reduction, etc.). Contrary to the stereotype, we're not a bunch of mindless "stepford wife" 'cookie-bakers" (although depending on the skill levels of the individual unit PTAs and their leadership, the direction and quality of the work can vary widely). One of our unit leaders (a former marketing professional) coordinated a succesful local school bond measure. Following the measure's passage, the mayor introduced her at a public function as a mom who had kinda taken a break from baking cookies to help out. Aaaarrrgh! So, you see, I'm just a tad bit sensitive when I think people are dissing a perfectly worthy organization. (And if anyone doesn't like the way their PTA is being run, jump in and change it!) Alright, now I'm stepping off my soapbox.
Far be it from me to tell you to ignore your gut instinct, Dhiana, but I volunteered each week in my sons' kindergarten classrooms and it was wonderful (and tiring)! There's so much basic information and direction for these children to learn and it's amazing to see them absorb it all. Maybe for your own reassurance, you should help out once a week to find out what is going on in his classroom. But I don't think you need to worry about your son becoming a zombie as long as you continue the learning process in your own home and you continue to teach your child critical thinking skills. Yes, there are rules of conformance, some of which are necessary to an orderly, respectful society, and some of which are nonsense. It sounds like your son already has a good sense of himself and he'll be able to know what's important and what's not as long as you are there to guide him and stand up for him as needed. It's always a challenge to keep that spirited quality alive in our children and in ourselves as we move through this world. From your posts, I'd say you are one of those lively free spirits who guides others to the same freedom. Maybe your son's comment of resignation was his way of asking for your guidance as to how he should work within the system without caving into it. I hope he (and you) have a great first year at school!

Paul, I hope you and your family are well and happy. I'm looking forward to your next post.

Diane

Dear Paul,

How's it going lately? I am hoping right now that Tropical Storm Edouard won't strenghthen into a Hurricane. It's heading towards Daytona Beach by 8 p.m. Tonight, I'm staying with Kirk. He lives in Deltona, right in the path of the Tropical Storm. Hope to hear from you soon.

Sara

Paul,

Come to think of it, Kirk is taking a class at DBCC and I am worried about his safety. Same for me. Please pray for Kirk and I. I am getting scared. I am serious. Pray for me and Kirk please!!!

Sara

ooh, violent weather. Ick! It's about that time of year when wickedly cool and scary thunderstorms roll in up our valley as well. Hang in there!

Diane, you're right. The PTA is a GREAT organization,and that's what I was saying...that I'd have to march down there and get involved. I don't believe one has the right to kavetch about something unless one is willing to A)Offer an alternative, and B) Put forth the energy to make it happen. And thanks for the compliments about my free spirited ways...hopefully, that WILL be enough! ;-)

Incidentally, as he was getting on the bus this am, I think I am doing my job TOO well...I told him he had to look right into the bus driver's eyes for permission to board (after the driver sees all traffic has stopped). Jud stood stock still until the driver looked right at him and then Jud KEPT looking at him which caused him to trip up the bus steps! Woops! He laughed too, thankfully.

PEace,
Dhiana

OOH, I just saw a great bumpersticker! I know we've already done this. But if I don't copy it down now, in 20 minutes I will have forgotten. Besides, it is somewhat apropos of this discussion. It read:

"It will be a great day when schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber"

Heather, I'm all in favor of that bumper sticker. Sara I hope you and Kirk are safe with the storm/hurricane. I remember Hurricane Andrew quite vividly from 1992 or 1993 and all the feelings of uncertainty, not knowing if my friends were safe for several days, even though I was perhaps one of the people who reacted more calmly to that experience. I was actually quite fascinated by the horizontal rain and the circular motions of it that I was able to observe. I love storms!!!--although not when they wake me up in the middle of the night as last night...

Back to learning and teaching--the last two weeks were rather interesting in that respect even though incredibly exhausting!!! Since I'm the only one of the staff who worked in the office last year, I now have the "pleasure" of training all the new staff, but we have very little time when we all are in the office at the same time and so I get to do most of the work for 4 people and train them and learn all the things I need to learn for my position, which I'm also new in--all at the same time. I don't think multi-tasking quite describes what the last two weeks were like :-) but I'm still able to laugh, which is a good sign. There's this part of me that just wants to do it all myself, since it'll be faster, and thus demand less of my energy on some level, but then Dhiana's comment earlier in this thread about having to sit on her hands to let her child tie his/her own shoes keeps popping into my head and I sort of had to mentally sit on my hands and let the new staff figure some things out themselves and boy was that tough!!! and then there's the side of me that got somewhat annoyed by having to show them so many basic things that I had hoped they would know simply by some sort of common sense, or having to show them so many times that I began to wonder if they had listened at all the first time around--I guess I'm assuming too much there. I haven't quite found that balance between what I can delegate at this point to the new staff, how to effectively train them on the different projects with the limited shared office time we have, when to actively train them and when to hold back and in it all somehow manage to keep myself together without loosing it. Right now I feel pulled into so many directions and close to a breaking point, ... I'm just glad it's Friday and I hope to re-group a bit this weekend, even though of course now I have to catch up on my own research work, which I fell behind of during the week. But I'm also finally going to work on my next art project. I'm going to design a tie for a friend of mine who is about to finish his Ph.D. and then of course I have the painting part left, but that will be fun!!! Definitely looking forward to that project! :-)

I wish you all the most pleasant weekend!
Evelyn

i loved u in strictly ballroom!!! u made me want 2 b a dancer!!

bye from jimmy

Hey, does anybody know the choreography for the Electric Slide and the Cha Cha Slide? I'm going to a dance on Friday and one on Saturday and I'm sure they're gonna play those two dance songs there. I've done both of 'em before, but I always forget the dance moves. Email me if you have any info!