Paul's Corner

Hey, Paul! Some of us posted on the last thread because we couldn't post to this at first. Margie thinks you're having gas pains. bluedog is intrigued. I thought you were angry at God. Then again, you did sign off with "regards", so I suppose you're still on speaking terms with the Almighty Cosmos.

Wishing you and your family happiness!

Diane

Paul...Has something happened to cause you pain or is this just an esotertic comment? Hope you will expand on this thread. Linda

Jesus Christ Paul, what happened? What has the universe dealt you? The abruptness and anger in your post leads me to believe that whatever happened came out of the blue.

I truly hope you will feel able to share with us what is bothering you. Vent away babe!

Most of all, and remember this sweet Paul, you are loved! Right guys?

Michelle in Chicago

Paul, I know what a bad day is like. I had them before. Yesturday, I went to the dentist to get an x-ray and general examination of my teeth (including wisdom teeth, which are growing on the bottom jaw). It took nearly 3 hours in the dental chair. Next week, I'm going in for a deep cleaning of my teeth. The good thing though is I will be numb with novicane. The dentist gave me instructions to brushing my gums without toothpaste, to get rid of infection in my gumline. It's been a couple of years since I had a appointment with a dentist.

Hope you have a better day.

Sara

Paul..Mate..
Dude we are here for you. Something has hit you hard. Or you wouldn't shout out like that. It's totally OK. Offended???? Are you kidding? We've all given our hearts out on this board, especially me. I say what I feel and it can change as quickly as the wind, but sometimes I just have to vent. So you vent man vent. Let it out. But most of all tell us what's wrong so we can try and help. Or at least offer words of encouragement. You know we're out here for you so use us. People of all types of faith shout out at their God or power they believe in. So where does the pain lie? I know how low one can get. God knows that hole is my dwelling place and has been for some time. Would you please respond back though? Please? You have me worried about your family. Again...you can say anything here..you know that..it's your board and it's a total place of free speech.

We do all care for each other here and love each other and we all love you too. You've made a difference in our lives. Maybe it's our turn to help make a difference in yours at least an immediate one.

Peace love and happiness
Tim

Paul, Loved...Yes! Pissed..I'd say so. I know how you feel..I've been having issues with the higher power myself lately. A stream of recent problem events began to make me feel like I had a lesson that needed learning. My main obsession is perfection especially with the home and having that perfect family image which no one can attain. It's these hardships that drive home the fact that I worry too much about what I don't have instead of being happy with what I do have.
No one lives in that TV family home where a quick family meeting takes care of every problem. I have to learn to get over myself. So, two days ago I got the prospect for better paying job. My house is up and running, including heat and water, and the best part is a friend I thought I'd lost tracked me down and we are back in contact. It's getting better! I know it will get better for you too.

Oh, btw..thanks Cat for the nice new home. I love the cheery colors.

sheesh! didn't mean to piss you off

Dear God, you forgot to leave your e-mail address!!

Oh BTW - I have an audition for "The Full Monty" musical today, I wonder if you may see your way clear to giving me a break!?

Mind you I guess its totally up to me isnt it? Thats what you are trying to get me to see, right?
It's obvious you keep giving me the short straw every time - so whats the go? Cos frankly Im kinda getting to the end of my tether God.

I believe in me. Im starting to think you dont!

The audition is good news, Paul. I think you'd be fantastic in "The Full Monty". Break a leg today!!!

And now for my perception of God's perspective... Perhaps God is just trying to get you to the point where you totally throw in the towel without holding on to the other end. Go into that audition and don't hold anything back. Don't try to anticipate what they want. Just let it rip! Then Let It GO! I'm sure you've given every audition your best. But God can be a tough audience and I think the Creator wants you to discover new things in yourself and best yourself.

I'll be thinking of you and sending great energy your way.

Dear Paul,

The people on whom I inflict my most terrible anger are usually those I love. What kind of relationship have you had with God in the past?

Just curious:)

Susan Jane Dusenberry

Dear Paul,

you got my attention and made me mentally and somewhat physically jump with your initial post. Nope I'm in no way shocked! What's up? Sorry that something obviously unpleasant (to say the least) is happening to you. I'm sending you some sunshine and beautiful sparkly rays of color to brighten your day and positive energy & comfort for today, tomorrow, and the day after and of course for your audition today. Wishing you the best of success there. Perhaps Diane's suggestion/advice holds the key, letting go of anticipations and just being, though not an easy thing to do. Be well and hugs to you!!!

I'm going to continue with some of my own ranting and expressing my own anger towards perhaps God, perhaps something/someone else. Why the f*** did stalker guy have to make an apperance in my life again??? Nope, still not interested and I never will be!! What's so hard to get about that???? I'll take my own ranting elsewhere though ...

Hey Paul - we're all obviously wishing the best for you here, esp. in this upcoming audition.
Maybe what we can hope/pray/cross fingers for is that those in a position to recognize and "make it happen" for one with such true talent and ability, passion, joy, drive and determination...will open their eyes, believe in you (too) and will snap you up and put you in your element/s (again&again) to grow, stretch and continue to thrive, entertain & inspire with such memorable spark, flame!

you must know by now...we all think you're superkool and, yes, you DO deserve a big break & not only from god, email address or not! *halfsmirk*

breaka leg, break2! Go Paul go!!!!

High split kicks and roundhouses,
:) Katalina

Ohmigod I'm post #13,
I had to post again to break
the bad 'juju.'
*eeeeeek*
*whew* back to even number *ahhhhhh*

prob'ly a buncha hooey...right?
I wasn't ascairt...does anybody ever use this word over age 9?
I'm reading Steven King's DREAMCATCHER, and that kidword many of us can relate to was in it. God, he makes me laugh sometimes....and not be able to turn out the lights at night, too...ok, yes....that's "ascairt."

It's a creepy one, guys. I'd recommend it! *moooohahahahahaaaaaaa*

*looking in the closet, checks under bed, placing ferocious attack cat next to her*

Katalina

DH got on the computer this a.m. before I left for work. Got him to go to PC to show him the new format to find you a tad bit angry with the Big Guy. What in his name has befallen you now!!!
I've worried about you all day. Tell us all is well.

Congrats on the auditiion, give it your all and I will send what leftover energy I have your way. It is 11:30 and I've been home from the office about 30 minutes. I'm really beginning to hate tax season and this is only the end of February. Overtime Pay is going to really be good tho.

Do get back to us soon and let us all know how the audition went. We are all anxious to see you back on the stage or big/small screen. I told DH about the upcoming showing of Code 11-14. He has followed David James Elliot from JAG since in started and will tape this for me if I get stuck at the office that night.

Hope all is well at home and I know that Andrea and the girls are all in your corner on this one.
Here's a Hug (((( )))) for good luck.
Hugs all around for those in need of one.
Sherrlyn

Well Im back from the audition and back at the notebook shop. Funny isnt it - when I mentioned I was working selling notebook every member of the audition panel said they were looking to buy a notebook and got all excited!!! One of them thankfully said that they wanted to see me back on stage and I was able to agree with him -!

The audition went well. I didnt sing as well I hoped I might - nerves got in the way but I guess for a non singer I sang better than I thought I would??? I wanted to sing like a pro but I aint one. I then read a scene which of course I nailed and had the panel laughing -just like a pro!

My aim for this audition was to get through to the next round and guess what - I DID! I have been asked back to audition for the American Producers next Tuesday. I have not been asked back to go for the lead (a feat that would have been not far short of miraculous to be honest)- but one of the secondary characters so I achieved my goal! But, I feel like I failed cos I didnt sing as well as I wanted. Shit, bit hard on myself but thats what comes with being a perfectionist or close to it!! Innussiq take note!

So, as often I do, I have run full bore at the challenge, thrown myself at it and - this time I have had a break and succeeded in the form of getting through to the next round. What now? I am left to do it all again starting from the moment I walked out of the audition room.

What frightens me is the outcome. Not that it is an unknown, but that it may be a "no", again!

My will is slowly leaking it's enthusiasm upon the ground, leaving a trail of challenges, successes and no's behind me.

Well done, Paul! So, you didn't sing as well as you wanted this time. Before next Tuesday: Sing in the shower; sing to your family; sing while you're walking the dogs. Get your vocal chords in shape and those singing inhibitions out of the way. Then warm up your voice the morning of your callback and you'll be more relaxed.

As for "I am left to do it all again starting from the moment I walked out of the audition room"... May I suggest you look at it as starting fresh. That way you can bring Tuesday's energy to it and a fresh idea rather than stale energy and a predictive approach. How does it go? "Lest ye become like little children, ye shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." Have fun!

Paul, I know you want to hear a resounding "YES" and we're right there prodding the universe for you. But when we approach anything with fear, it's as though we enter the room with the word emblazoned on our foreheads. How about meditating on the upcoming audition as a fun exercise that you enter with the word JOY on your forehead? Then meditate on releasing the outcome.

Wishing you a JOYous weekend with hugs to you and your family and to all who meet here!!!

With love and hugs,
Diane

Thank you Diane.

You are most welcome, my dear Paul!

Dear Paul...I can see that your anguish is real and the fear of being disappointed is overwhelming. BUT inspite of all these feelings, you push on. And that is what really counts. Life is a bitch and should come with a handbook. The small joys we glean from it are very sweet. I would say you are way overdue for something wonderful. You know that myself and all those from Paul's Corner are really in your corner to support you. Take strength from this. Thinking of you, Linda

Diane, you are good!!!!
Congratulations, Paul, on making that first step that was yours to take today (yesterday?). I hope you stop long enough to enjoy that accomplishment and then refocus on the next step, which is yours to take on Tuesday, not today. Enjoy the singing in the meantime :)

Love,
Evelyn

What God or do I mean which? Easy is what I never choose and until I get proof,(a.k.a. death), I'm just gonna keep choosing the ways where I can't see any light. I like finding my own way out without divine intervention.

What anguish are these people talking about? I could be confused but I heard no cries for help, just some love sick fans who want to make things "alright" for Paul. Guess what ,he's alright. The other chicks are just too idealistic to see and believe it. Shall I fall in ? Big hugs Paul! You really don't need the ego boost though.

cat: kudos on the new corner.

paul: congrats on the audition. i like that you keep putting yourself out there. no guts, no glory, right? please tell me secondary characters give "the full monty," too. ;)

sorry it's been so long since i've posted. i've been sidetracked. i hope all of you are well. i just finished my first fast (juice fast) -- 6 days. i feel like a new person. so empowered. i highly recommend, but please read books first and listen to your body.

Congrats Paul, on making it to round 2!
We're excited for you & pulling for you.
['course he doesn't need anyone's help...but everyone could use words of encouragement and support now and then, right? Can't hurt..]
If that's being lovesick, then so be it. (that's not what I'd call it 'though)

I also think perfectionism is not such a bad trait. It means one sets high standards for themselves and in their work. If we aim high, we'll likely get close...and we can be ok with that, but it's good to try and stretch for the highest rung possible.

Hope all in PC has a good day/eve!
Take care,

Katalina

Congratulations on the audition. I do a little of that sort of thing myself, and auditioned recently for a part in "A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum" I hadn't auditioned for a musical in years so it was a terrific stretch for me to sing out loud in front of people. I had the part, then declined. Enough about me. Getting a call back is great! Every time we take those kind of chances, it betters us and helps develop our craft. I assume that you will audition for the same part? You'll have some time to think about it and decide who the character is. Break a leg.

Hi, Paul. Back again. My husband and I talked about your audition this morning. He agrees that it's tough to keep up your skills when your not working. He has this to say about auditions: "You have to be willing to make a total fool of yourself and to fail SPECTACULARLY."

We've both done it... He once made a total fool of himself in an audition for Anthony Newly. I once did a singing and dancing audition for an equity waiver production in Hollywood. I picked a bad audition piece (young and foolish) and couldn't absorb the choreography. (I would have made a great dancing cow in "Gypsy", but they weren't doing THAT show.) Fresh out of school, I flew back to Florida to audition for a dinner theatre. I had rehearsed my song, but I couldn't follow the accompanist and my throat was tight with fear. I sobbed all the way back to my dad's house. (Then I found out that my roommates back in L.A. were moving out which meant I had to come up with money to move because I couldn't afford the rent by myself. So more tears.) By the the time I finished crying, my throat was relaxed and I sang beautifully. Too bad my dad's neighbors were the only ones who could hear me.

Of course you should be prepared to perform at your best next Tuesday; but you don't need to be a great singer for that show. YOU and your energy are what got you the callback, not your singing.

Thanks, Katalina, for your words on perfectionism. There are gifts in every trait.

Welcome, Deanna. You're right. Paul is alright. We're all alright. Sometimes, we just need to hear it from others, especially when our perfectionism distracts us from the truth. I agree with Katalina, though. I wouldn't describe our words of comfort, support and encouragement to Paul (which he also returns to us, by the way) as lovesickness. If they are, then your "big hugs" to Paul put you in the same barnyard with the rest of us "chicks". Glad you joined us!

Hugs to all and best wishes for a beautiful day!

PAUL...BRILLIANT!!!
You're on your way. Hey don't look at it as a possible failure look at it as a probable yes. I'm interviewing next week for a Controller job. In this case it's not what I want, but I'm going to be smiling and so damn good they can't say no. My brilliance will be so damn bright they'll need shades and they'll think I walk on water and Hollywood will have missed one of the best Oscar winning performances ever as I pronounce my innate desire to do accounting and the personal fulfillment I get from a progressive career in the corporate world. OH YEH!! I'm feeling the yes...feeling the yes..
You get me mate... you feel it too. Cause damn it all you CAN GET THE YES.. YOU HEAR ME YOU CAN DO THIS.
Now get out there and only think positive and futuristic about where that postive role is going to take you from here. And remember that once the show is ready you're going to have some visitors. I will be at that show. Because 1) I'm going to get this high paying job god damn it and 2) I'll have the money to go so you couldn't hold me back with a tidal wave.
All the faith in the world for you mate.

Tim

tim: good luck on the interview.

mary ellen: don't leave us hanging. why did you decline the part?

re: part decline
I would have had a small solo-just two lines-but I've never done one before. The director had decided that the part of "Marcus Lycus" (the owner of the brothel) could be played by a woman with a deep voice, So I would have been dressed up with a beard, in a toga, singing about all the "girls" at my house. I just was not comfortable singing alone. The director wants me to take some voice lessons for confidence and range. I'll be auditioning for the next two productions though!
Tim-you go! I'll be pulling for you!
texas-are you in Texas?
Millie-I wish I could see your production, it sounds like a wonderful time.
Paul:) I'll be tipping a few in your honor tonight!
Mary Ellen

What do you know, there is a god after all.

Cat, love the new look, and the time along with the dates.

Paul, I have no trouble imagining you in the Full Monty . . . ;)

hugs and smiles,
Sally

Way to go Paul! Positive energy, positive energy, that's what we will be sending your way thru Tuesday. No negative thoughts all weekend, smile at work, make everyone wonder what you're up to. Audition for Andrea and the girls. That should loosen you up.

Good luck and remember we are still here in your corner putting in our 2 cents worth and cheering you on.
Have a good weekend.
Hugs all around,
Sherrlyn

Have a wonderful weekend Paul, Sell, Sell, Sell!!!!!

We are all behind you, ya know!!

Innussiq, Guess what I just saw? It's a movie called "The Fast Runner". I rented it. It's an all Inuit film. Inuit writer,producer,cinimatographer,actors,dialog,everything. Truly fasinating!! Excellent story. Anyone else.....It was a thrilling experience!!! Makes me really value a cooked meal, a faithful husband, and a warm home in Southern Ca.!!!! Not in that order, or cource.

Hope everyone has a Fabulous weekend!!!!

Lots of love,

Margie

Margie, Of course I saw fast runner. As soon as it came into the store (I work at Blockbuster) I rented it. A very interesting film. It plainly shows what I mean about the Inuit making a life out of "nothing".
Katalina, being a perfectionist can be a good thing, but it can also go wrong. Making a person obsessive about perfectly clean, perfectly neat, perfectly in line, it's perfectly exhausting! It is also the basis for obsessive/compulsive disorder.
And this "lovesick" (what a terrible word) fan hopes everything is well for all my list friends.
Inn

morning all...

I'd posted earlier that this thread should be interesting! It's more than that, it rocks!

M'curio you've done it again! Just as we're settling into a comfortable groove, you jolt us out of it by your new thread! Thank you.

Diane, got a lump in my throat - your story is one we've all shared in some form or another

And Sara - now that you've started, keep going to the dentist-it's frightening, but very necessary to your overall health. Sounds kinda parenty, but meant well.

The stories from this site are remarkable! brave, funny, poignant, heart-wrenching, surviving, sad -
This site humbles me and makes me rethink things. That is good!

later all

Good morning Grandma!

Paul is there any way to talk to a voice coach even just for a day? I believe it would increase your confidence because there are some basic things that you could learn real quick.

So you knocked on a door and it opened!!!!! Congratulations! I think the second door will open too! You would be perfect for "The Full Monty" and I agree with Diane; you don't have to be a great singer to pull this off. The show's about a bunch of regular joes on the dole and looking to make money doing something at which they have absolutely no experience. Your biggest problem will be dimming your dancing skills, but as I recall some of the characters have a little bit of dance background.

I don't believe in jinxes, so I'm just going to go ahead and say that I strongly believe you have this gig in the bag. You're a winner Paul and regardless of the outcome, this experience is already a new success to build on.

Tim, congratulations on getting that interview. Open sesame!

Love to everyone,
whit

Hey guys! im glad we are all pretty much back! I've missed reading the posts! but where has out grandmother gone!? :( sniff! we of course miss you! =)
Paul, Im very happy that things are working out for you! keep smiling! ;)

I've been doing pretty good! having a huge bit of school trouble which though! Im making two horrible grades in two of my hardest classes! psychology and Algebra! im not good at math and get this...on my psychology test, which are every two days just about, the questions on the test are worded so that all 4 of the answers could be the right answer! and its psychology so its all just theorys!
but tomorrow is my 17th birthday, which is a good reason to smile! but yesterday I heard on the news that march 2nd (my birthday) could be the day we go to war!!!! NOOO no Not on my birthday! not on anybodies birthday pleasee! so lets pray that won't happen! ;)
sorry that im going on and on! its good to posts again! and Cat I love the new lay out! thanks a whole bunch!

Love to all!
Kelli

Diane...You have a great way of expressing yourself - right from the heart! Thanks for sharing.

Whitney...Sometime I would like find out more about your sculpture.

Linda

Before this strand gets too long and my time gets too short, I have some quick comments on others' posts:

Sara, so sorry to hear about your dental problems. I hope you can get back to good health soon. (And thanks for reminding me to schedule my next check-up.)

Innussiq, I've given up any hope of having one of those perfectly clean, perfectly well-organized homes. You know, the ones you see in the magazines. I just wish that after spending hours cleaning, I could keep the house that way for more than 10 minutes. My husband thinks my standards are too high, but I've had to live AND work here for a decade. Still it's true that we shouldn't put off enjoying the day until we're "done". (We're never done!)

Welcome Susan Jane D.! When my sons vent on me, I have to remind myself that it's because they know I'll love them no matter what. (They're pretty good, though.)

Evelyn, what's going on with the stalker situation? I hope this is more annoyance than threat. Let me know.
Otherwise, I hope you are still giving yourself free time. I'm going off to spend time with an old friend tomorrow.

Katalina, post #14 — cute. You'd probably like King's book From A Buick 8. Oooooh, we listened to the book on tape on our road trip. Creepy.

Sherrlyn, here's a hug {{{ }}} to get you through tax season. I don't know if I could do that work. I'd be too "ascaird". The IRS has been bearing down on some friends (not tax people, though) for 2 years now. Geeeez!

Hi, Texas. Congratulations on the juice fast. Were you able to carry on as usual or did you need some down time to pull it off? I've thought of trying a fast before, but don't think I could do it with a busy schedule.

Hey, Tim. You da' man! You go knock their socks off, get that Conroller job, take their money and then PLAY. You know you can do some of the things you enjoy (e.g. writing) despite money and other pressures. So you aren't selling out for money; you're taking care of yourself and your family and subsidizing your real interests. Good luck!

Mary Ellen, you go girl! Looking forward to hearing more about you in those future productions.

Sally, I agree. When Paul gets this gig, I am going to have to find some way to see that production. Wow!

Margie, I live in Santa Clarita. I think you said you live 60 miles south. Are you in Orange of L.A. County?

Bluedog, I agree, this site is very special and you bring a spunky energy to it. I like that!

Whitney, good idea about the quick visit to a vocal coach. They can really help you through these auditions.

Kelli, Happy Birthday! My boys were trying to reintroduce me to algebra this week. My head hurt. How about getting someone to tutor you in the subject? You could probably find a good math student in your school who'd be willing to help you.

Linda, I like "Life is a bitch and should come with a handbook." Maybe that's what Paul should call the book he's going to write. Right, Paul?

Thanks for the compliments, folks.

Oh, and one more thought Deanna, (maybe two). It may seem like fawning for us to always remind Paul that he's loved and appreciated. But as you continue with this site, I think you'll begin to understand that we truly respect him for who is he, not just what he does. (Personally, I don't care how brilliant a performer is, if they treat other people like shit, I feel cheated and I won't support their work.) In addition, I think that performing artists need nuturing, support and encouragement more often than those in other professions because their vulnerability and openness creates their product. It's tough to remain open and vulnerable in a business that treats you like a disposable commodity. And you can't be truthful in your art unless you put it all out there. What do you think?

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. (Ah, I miss Mr. Rogers.) Hope you're all enjoying your day!

Diane

HeyDianed,

Yes, I live in LA county. Torrance, to be exact. My good friends live in Santa Clarita so we've been up there quite often. How's the tree situation going? It's been out of the "hot topic"
section for awhile.

I miss Mr. Rogers too. I will never forget the show he did on mushrooms and how they grow and are processed for sale. That was really interesting. That was about 10 years ago I think. My daugher just turned 12 so I think that's about right. I have a 2nd grader who's 7 and twin boys that are 2 1/2. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!
Loved when Charlie Brown said that..!!! ahhahh

I agree, it is a beautiful day. Really and truely in my neighborhood..but it's sort of like that Donny Osmond song, "Life, is just what you make it". I've been on a Donny kick ever since I down loaded all those songs and just happened to put the cd in the car. It's so funny to hear my "super cool' middle schooler sing Donny instead of all that "rap crap". hahahaha

Anyway, all my best to all of you....
Tim, good luck on the interview... you said Tuesday? I'll remember to pray for you on that day.

See Ya!!!!

Love,

Margie

Hey everyone,

Watching Strictly Ballroom right now and getting lost in the movie. Paul, you never cease to amaze me in how beautiful you are and how graceful. If you're ever in New York, save a dance for me. :)

- Tiffany

Hi, Margie. The developer is preparing to move the tree. Most experts say it won't survive. On top of that, the developer is suing John Quigley for trespassing when he lived in the tree. You'd think they wouldn't want any more bad press. But then again, I'm sure this developer and others, as well as some electeds, are eager to slam John to prevent a repeat on the upcoming developments that will take down even more oaks. There have been victories on water issues this week, and that's something to celebrate. Developers keep claiming water on paper that they have no reasonable expectation of receiving (and some water agencies are happy to help). Two courts have handed down decisions saying that that practice has to stop. Whoohoo!

well im not sure if this is exactly the right place or time but it seems the only way to get to contact Paul or at least hope that he may possibly ever get a chance to read it.
Paul...
i think you are the most fantastic dancer i have ever seen to grace the dancefloor. i say that with as much meaning as i could ever say, i am a dancer myself, 16 year old male, and may be going into the state finals this spring, so i just wanted to let you know how much you have meant to me as not only an inspiration but a true icon to follow.
i just cant express my gratitude to you for everything, for all the ways you've inspired me. you are a beautiful person inside and out and i know, no matter what any audition says, you will always be a true success. you already are.
if you ever get the chance to respond, please, please do - it would mean more than any, any other thing in the world to me just to see you write good luck.
so thank you again for all that youve done, you should be very proud. just remember that you change people's lives with your grace, beauty and talent.
and again another beg for your response. please. i just cant express how much it would mean to me.
all the love in the world,
Nich

Nich, thank you for your words!! I wish you all the best for your dancing and if you go in to the state finals I hope that you enjoy the experience more than anything else!!! Dancing from the heart is a wonderful tonic! and a wonderful gift.

GOOD LUCK!

So why did I post this post? Well February was a very tough month and I needed to take it out somewhere! I ended the month at the bottom of the salesman list. Funny isnt it!? I had absolutely no luck, no breaks...it was as if something was conspiring against me. For example: the phone would ring and I would answer to find and deal with an enquirey regarding why someones computer wouldnt turn on. During this the other phone would ring and another salesman would answer it to find the caller wanted to purchase three computers over the phone!!! This happened regularly. The same went with walk ins: Two couples would walk in I would attend to one couple the other salesman the other couple. After much help etc my customer would leave whilst the other customer would be buying. Even the store owner remarked on my apparent run of bad luck. I talked a lot to the owner and the other head salesman about my techniques etc and all agreed they are in good order. Just pure damn ass bad luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Half the sales of last month means half the income of last month tends to make things kinda desparate. I guess the lesson is that same old thing I have talked about in previous posts - I cannot control what challenges come my way only deal, as I choose to deal, with those challenges.

I dont even like having to work there so why does it have to get worse?

Oh and BTW I have questioned myself repeatedly regarding what it is I may be doing to create such unfortunate luck but is it my doing??? I have no control as to who comes in nor who buys from whom. Maybe I just have to give over all control but what if I do that is left for me and importantly of me?

That last line should read - Maybe I just have to give over all control - but what, if I do that, will be left for me? and importantly, what will be left OF me?

and to finish the comment above

Thereby I was mad as hell at the powers that be - ie GOD (as is the easiest image for us all to talk about) and told her so!

Paul, I think last month was a just a case of "that's how the cookie crumbles". Try to shake it off; I know March will be better. That is a bitch though! Certainly not a confidence builder. Keep taking care of those customers and trust in things to even out. You are working and doing your best! Have faith.

I think we all need to practice letting go. For me that doesn't mean I don't have an active role to play in my life. It just means I don't get too attached to any particular idea of how things should turn out. Isn't it Budhism that teaches that we can avoid disappointment by not wanting anything? That doesn't mean going through life without hopes and dreams, it just means not restricting your potential by believing the illusion that you must have a particular thing to be happy. What waits for you Paul is much more rewarding than you could even imagine. Keep knocking on the doors of your potential destiny. Knock until you knuckles bleed. I can already hear hinges squeaking!

Happy Birthday Kelli!

Good night Grandma and sweet dreams to each of you. May you dream of flying and have a pleasant landing.

Love!!!
Whitney

Paul, it just occured to me, and I could be totally wrong, but Millie might not be posting because it grieves her to see what you said to God. We've all hurled our outrage toward the heavens at some point, so please don't interpret this as criticism, but now that you're feeling better, might you codify your outrage with something like the traditional #@*%# etc? Or maybe start a new thread?
Whit

Ah, I think Millie is actually some what pre -occupied with the opening of her magnificent show! But if Millie is offended by my feelings then she is free to say so and to also contact you Whitney. This is a place for me to be me. If I become less than who I am so as not to offend those that may come here to read and share then I am short changing myself and those that come here.

If I can offend someone by my sense of god then perhaps thier own sense and belief in god is to be questioned not by me but by themselves.

When I did Joseph I had a scene where Joseph yelled at god "Why have you forsaken me" - so I say now yell at god when you want to, question what ever god you want to, demand answers to your questions, you, we, have the right! God is not some untouchable perfect being. God is the parent of the universe! The Mother, the Father, The I of whom we belong. This is my belief. If some one chooses to dis-connect with me, to no longer share our life path because of our differences in belief then I mourn the loss of a kindred spirit and more, I morn their loss to the pure conection of themselves to this idea of God.

I am a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars
I have a right to be here
and so do you

there fore
keep peace with our soul
for ultimately
is it not one and the same

no matter what our belief?

Paul...We all rant at the universe and what controls it. Life is not fair and that's the truth! I have worked as a commissioned professional for many years and it is a roller coaster ride! Some months are great and others are less than. Your situation is that your job is not where your talent lies. And that makes it hard to take. I feel strongly you are long overdue for a break and that it is coming soon! Keep the faith a little longer. Linda

BTW...We all mourn the loss of Mr. Rodgers. Who now is going to tell us everything will be alright? Linda

Sorry to respond so late, but it's morning here in USA-
Paul...i cant begin to tell you...thank you.
thank you so much.
i've been accepted into the finals so what you said means more than anything to me. i'll be thinking of you, as always, before its my turn on the dancefloor.
eternal thanks and love always,
Nich

Good morning Grandma!

You were right Paul. Millie's just busy and she mentioned posts which I don't see. Maybe there's a glich somewhere and her messages just aren't getting through.

I would never want you to censor yourself Paul. This is your place to express emotions and thoughts of all sorts and we want to hear them. Millie is way hip and doesn't have the hang up that many mature people have about the "F" word. I was only concerned because I hadn't seen any posts from her on this thread and I was afraid that the combination of the words Fuck and God might be a turn-off for her. I love her so much that I wouldn't mind structuring my words a little for her, but she loves us so much that she wouldn't want us to do that. Millie rocks!

Personally, I reserve the right to mentally bitch slap God when I feel God rates it and I also think that people should be allowed to burn the flag. This culture is about freedom above all things.

Please continue to share with us, the happy and the sad. I was only motivated by love, not a desire to restrict your threads.

Love to you and yours,
Whitney

Congratulations Nich! Your talent and hard work are being recognized. Keep us posted, as we'll be pulling for you.

Whitney

Everyone
Good morning, afternoon and evening.
Margie...pray for me on Wednesday and Paul on Tuesday. Get him/her rolling for Paul and Tuesday and then it'll just be on a roll for him/her to look down and say..oh yeah let's give Tim a break too.

Paul...I am so there with you on the commission thing. That's what hair is all about. I had a check for 2 weeks a couple of weeks ago for $362.00 US. That is damn pitiful. It's an outrage. When I started with Deloitte Haskins + Sells as a junior accountant back in 1982 my take home pay every two weeks was like $670. 21 years ago I made more???????????????????? The hell with it.
That's why I'm trying so hard to get this job. And I believe in my soul I can and so should you. You can get that part. You would have to down play your ability to dance. Because you're so fucking talented. I'll be thinking of you Monday night and Tuesday early am. You're going to do great.
Can't remember the name...but for you that questioned why we come here and express adulation to Paul...well it's simple. It's been said so many times I don't know that I can say it again, but I refer you to Nich's comment(Welcome Nich), Paul has inspired us. And then I refer you to Pauls return comment. Paul talks to us. He's our friend. He's a kindred spirit. We have lots to share and we do. That's why we're all here. And like Paul said if someone is offended by what he says..hey it's his place to vent...but by the same token we vent as well. We comment back and forth, we debate. Personally I love it here. I love the people I've met and I've loved getting to know Paul better and understand what makes someone with that calibre of talent and level of professionalism tick. Back to the first line he inspires me. He inspires me to give life it's fullest shot. The topics we cover keep me actively searching for things I've never thought about before. Someone here suggested I read The Road less travelled. A true breakthrough for me. My pscychiatrist and I talked about it last week. I am making headway I haven't made in years. I owe it to this site. (Thanks CAT)

Everyone..pray for peace. We don't need war!! We need people to stop playing power games and get real and let people live their lives. There are babies all over the world that need security and the knowledge that mommy and daddy are going to be there and protect them and that there will be a place for them when they grow up.

Lastly...again..Paul. You go mate!!! Show them how it's really done and don't hold back. I'm looking forward to buying my tickets.

Peace love and happiness
Tim

I too agree w/P's comments on being free to express himself (mind, heart, emotions). I think it's good when someone is comfortable enough to do so!
I also think that the Supreme Being, the One who is One that we are also one with *ohmigoodness, is this reminicsent (sp?) of "wherever you go there you are?"* , most likely would not be offended by such feelings of acknowledgement, even in anger- at feeling disconnected. I think the S.B. would not view this as something negative, but rather a dilemma to have compassion for (if viewed as a personal S.B.), diaglogue about and solve together if answers are sought. Speaks of a strong, serious relationship, in my view. (like a partner or our family members)

I think open and candid expressions of self are to be commended and viewed in a light of strength.

Regards to Paul and the Corner,
Katalina

** Peace Inn! hiya. I agree w/ya on perfectionism not being so good when it turns into unhealthy views, judgements on self or others, or habits gone haywire. For me,it represents more a concept of self evolution, pushing past perceived limits to reach a higher level of expertise or experience.
What can i say..i like a challenge.
An explorer by nature...this is my way. (However, I'm also very good at relaxing and just Being too...I'm comfortable in both realms and need both!!...what is the old saying? "what is the nature of our Father/Mother/Spirit? Movement and a rest." I think this was from the Book of Enoch or a Kabbalistic teaching, or maybe something older.) :)

Diane: did you recommend the SK book? thx
Almost done w/DREAMCATCHER. *ohmigosh*
I've been sleeping w/light on for 2 nts. I'm at the lst 20 pps now out of 882. It's been that good.

I'll never think of abrasions or some other personal functions in the same way again.....that's all amahgonna say.

*BIGgrinns*
Katalina

Good Day to All!

Paul, I agree with what Whitney said about non-attachment to the outcome. (Very hard to do, I know, when it's about putting food on the table.) I also agree with Linda's comments about commission work. It's tough dealing with the uncertainty of your income, especially when the job is not your top choice. But I'm sure March will be better for you.

I'm sort of going through the same thing with the floral design work. With a temporarily part-time schedule, I don't have a reliable paycheck or benefits and my hands are being damaged by the work. I went to a teacher job fair yesterday and, to be brief, the prospects are not promising. So now I have to get out there and look for something else that's a better fit for now anyway.

I think it's impossible to figure out why we find ourselves in every situation. One of your sales associates probably hit his wall in December or October.

I keep asking myself what it is I have to learn from my current predicament. I think that there's some blessing in this that has not yet revealed itself to me. Perhaps for you, the blessing can be that when you go to the callback on Tuesday, you carry that "working guyf" hunger for something better into your winning audition.

While respecting Whitney's concern about sensibilities, I also respect and appreciate your continued honesty, Paul. I figure my reaction to whatever you post says more about me than it does about you.

Tim, my guess is that the Supreme Being has enough energy to give both you and Paul a BIG FAT BREAK!!! No residual spillover necessary. And while you're at it, God, please give Nich a boost to win at finals.

Sending out good vibes to Millie, too. And where is Peter? Hope all is well with you.

I wasn't asking Paul to be dishonest. There are many ways to say screw you to the cosmos without that particular word. I don't have a problem with it, but don't I have the right to express my concern for the feelings of others? What's the big deal? It was just a suggestion.

I agree with you Diane. The 9 to 5 experience Paul's been living will definitely give him an edge in this second audition. He's been there and suffered and he can bring this to his performance. They would be foolish not to cast him. This production has Paul written all over it!

Love!!!
Whit

Paul,
Oh, shit.
It's a terribly cliche'd saying that "God works in mysterious ways", but it looks to ring true.
The down times sure look like they're sent to test us. I guess it's all in how we respond.
I think it's perfectly fine to vent your feelings at God, as long as the underlying respect for the Universe is not lost. I also don't believe that it's any way possible to offend God. The intelligence is far too broad, and the spirit completely understanding.
And it sure looks like you've been tested for quite a while now. It probably feels an even longer time, to you.
Paul, don't lose faith and don't take the (seemingly) bad luck personally. I went through some crap for a long time (as most do). It seemed infinitely longer. It's horrible stuff and no, you don't deserve it either. There are no good reasons for it.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, in all ways and from all sources. It's being resourceful, i.e. utilising more of your bountiful talents, and it opens up the lines of communication, creating synergy and good karma. A little bit of nudging can sometimes start to snowball, picking up power along the way, until suddenly life avalanches in your favour.

I very much empathise with your frustration at this time, but it WILL pass. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't really like for a while, sometimes for a lifetime. Yours will pass. You'll be stronger for it.

Good luck to you, mate. Stay well.

Peter

Diane,
Yes, I'm still kickin'.
Frightfully busy at the moment. Lots of significant things happening, work wise and personally. I tend to narrow my focus so that I can pick up and maintain the intensity, so I can't visit much at present.

Best regards to you Diane and all at Paul's Corner.

Peter

Hi, Peter. Glad you're well. Just missed you, that's all.

Whitney, I apologize if I offended you. I meant no disrespect to you. In fact, I deliberately tried to acknowledge the validity of your comment even as I agreed with Paul's position. You are entitled to express yourself and you did so respectfully, as did Paul in his response. That's why this site is so refreshing.

I'll go even further and confess that I flinched when I read his post. It was just momentary, but the first thought that ran through my mind was, "Oh, shit. What's happening to Paul?" The very next was, "Uh-oh, some of the people who've posted here might not like this." Followed quickly by, "Well, this IS Paul's site." Not that I can't swear a blue streak, but I am very accustomed to anticipating people's reactions and carefully selecting my words. Still, there are times when I just ache to scream: "F*#@ Y&%... royally." at the top of my lungs. You expressed my approach. Paul expressed my feelings.

May this week bring joy and peace to us all.

Love,
Diane

Dear Paul, thanks for sharing what had made you so angry and frustrated, understandably so. You put the same kind of effort into your work that you did last month, and yet you only get part of the income/recognition and that’s difficult not to take personally, not to be mad and angry, and while it has been said before, you really do deserve a break and more success in the profession you love and really want to work in and are fantastic in, I’m not saying this from the perspective of a fan who wants to see more of your work—mind you I wouldn’t mind that one bit—but for your own sake. You have so much to share artistically and you should be allowed to do it and not be given these many "No-s" as has been the case recently. Taking so many no-s in a row must be devastating, and then to have your Feb. work experience … you are handling it much better than other people do!!! I wish you calm and focus on Monday and a happy anticipation for the audition on Tuesday, more calm nerves, good singing voice and lots of serenity, let it happen, do your best (when don’t you?) and enjoy it!!!

Kellie, Happy Birthday! aren’t you glad that you no longer have to be sweet all year long, because you are pst "sweet 16"? By the way, grandma left you a message at the end of the previous thread and yes, she’s ver busy with her show and dealing with a problematic stage where she has to rework many aspects of the show – grandma I know you will do a great job with it and the show will be even better than originally planned!—and of course I’ve kept her busy with an email exchange outside of this board!!! You’re an amazing woman, grandma, and ich hab dich lieb!!! J

Tim, good luck with the interview, do your best, stay calm and focused!

And Diane, what’s going on with the stalker? I don’t want to say all that much about it. is it annoying? VERY. threatening? if you take a legal definition, no, but I feel threatened, violated, angry, upset & lots more and I can’t do anything about it, as it is mostly non-verbal passive aggressive behavior, and that infuriates me even more. He mostly appears when we have a lecture at work that’s open to the public, with reception and all and on a surface level, it appears that he is simply trying to make small talk, or asking for things that I have no problem with doing for others, as it would fall under my job duties, but when it serves as a ploy to get me into a position where I then am alone with him, it’s an entirely different situation, yet incredibly difficult to prove, esp. as he’s not very skilled in social interaction, seemingly depressed etc. I hate feeling this fenced in, and now am totally on edge about the times when I’m in the office alone, which is most of the time, for he showed up there in the past under some bogus pretense, or calls etc. when he stalked me last academic year. Knowing what can happen when you pursue legal actions, this isn’t the first time I’ve been stalked, and how you end up becoming a double victim, isn’t exactly making it easier to deal with the fear that I’m experiencing on account of this. I have no idea when he will show up again, probably next Thursday when we have another lecture, but the unpredictability of his appearances add to the anxiety level. I will get through this, somehow, but I’m really annoyed that yet again I have to be part of this game. Hence also my frustration and anger towards god, the universe, the creator for yet again putting me through this. I really want a positive experience with a man on an intimate level for a change rather than this repeated violation and abuse … It will come eventually, but I sure wouldn’t mind it if it were sooner rather than later.

to everyone, be well, safe & happy!

Ahhh suck it up, man, you're hot, happily married, and you can dance...one day, the stigma of Strictly Ballroom may die, and in the present you can live in every femme's fantasy file...rhumba de burro, for now...we all love you.
--Christina

Sweet Diane, you didn't offend me. I just thought I was misunderstood and that made me feel that I had to clarify. After rereading your post I realized that you were probably referring to Paul's candor and I admire that quality too. I didn't mean to sound defensive. Thank you for taking the time to sort this out with me.

I want the same kind of give and take with the SB that Paul wants. After all, if you can't argue and converse with God, how else do you interact? Praise, praise praise? I'm never offended by Paul's expression of his feelings on any subject. But in WV many older (I used the word mature earlier and I hope that wasn't misinterpreted) people around me are especially sensitive to that word. Out of respect for their freedom, I refrain from using it in reference to God when I'm speaking in their presence. I can communicate the same feelings with other words and I don't feel restricted by doing so.

Well, I hope we can move on from here. I think I've gotten my meaning across on the subject. At least it did generate some interesting posts!

Good evening Grandma, I hope Cat gets you back up here soon. I miss you.

Time to walk Worthy dog.
Love!!!
Whitney

GOOD LORD, WHERE DO I START? I HAVE RESURFACED, AFTER BEING BURIED IN THE WRONG POST!!!!!!! I WAS STRUGGLING, BUT I WROTE TO CAT, AND SHE WALKED ME THROUGH, AND I'M BACK, LIKE THE LONE RANGER TO THE RESCUE!!!

Paul, when I heard you had an audition for the Full Monty, I said to my hubbie, "He's going to nail it for sure!" I was not offended by your language..at my age, I've heard it all, and coming from you, it's music to my ears! Wait and see, you're going to get that part, because I said so!! I am known as Mrs. Showbiz among the seniors, and I have that power to predict a winner!!

Kelli, while buried in that other post, I sent you birthday wishes a day early..I am so disappointed that I seemed late, but I was actually early! I also made you one of my famous birthday cards for the email, but it came back "undeliverable." I hope your day was wonderful, and I promise next year I will do better!

Whitney and Evelyn, thanks for worrying about me..I worried about me too! Thank goodness you knew that I was okay!!

We are having a second dress rehearsal for "Follies" tomorrow, and the drummer and the bass player are coming in, so I have a rhythm section to augment the piano player. The costumes are wonderful, everyone is excited, and we still have this week to
practice, and then on Friday, the tech guy comes in to do the lights, the curtain, and the sound, and I am free to stay backstage, because he takes care of the canned music that I have prepared for him for varied acts.

On Monday, March 10th, a week from tomorrow, we have our first audience, at a morning matinee...I invite you all to come..it's free, and will be as good as the evening performances the next two nights, which require tickets.

I am doing a Patsy Cline lipsync, with Elliott "strumming" a toy guitar from Toys Are Us.
Always good for a laugh!

Lipsync is my specialty since retiring. I am doing Patsy's "Heartaches" and part of "Crazy." Yes, I wear a cowgirl hat...anything for western authenticity!

I'm glad to be back...so much to read, so little time until after the show. Thanks for thinking of me...

Paul, I've got that feeling, that
"You'll be swell,
You'll be great,
Gonna have the whole world on a plate,
Startin' here, starting now
HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES..."

We love you and believe in you...can't you feel the vibes???

Grandma

GOOD LORD, WHERE DO I START? I HAVE RESURFACED, AFTER BEING BURIED IN THE WRONG POST!!!!!!! I WAS STRUGGLING, BUT I WROTE TO CAT, AND SHE WALKED ME THROUGH, AND I'M BACK, LIKE THE LONE RANGER TO THE RESCUE!!!

Paul, when I heard you had an audition for the Full Monty, I said to my hubbie, "He's going to nail it for sure!" I was not offended by your language..at my age, I've heard it all, and coming from you, it's music to my ears! Wait and see, you're going to get that part, because I said so!! I am known as Mrs. Showbiz among the seniors, and I have that power to predict a winner!!

Kelli, while buried in that other post, I sent you birthday wishes a day early..I am so disappointed that I seemed late, but I was actually early! I also made you one of my famous birthday cards for the email, but it came back "undeliverable." I hope your day was wonderful, and I promise next year I will do better!

Whitney and Evelyn, thanks for worrying about me..I worried about me too! Thank goodness you knew that I was okay!!

We are having a second dress rehearsal for "Follies" tomorrow, and the drummer and the bass player are coming in, so I have a rhythm section to augment the piano player. The costumes are wonderful, everyone is excited, and we still have this week to
practice, and then on Friday, the tech guy comes in to do the lights, the curtain, and the sound, and I am free to stay backstage, because he takes care of the canned music that I have prepared for him for varied acts.

On Monday, March 10th, a week from tomorrow, we have our first audience, at a morning matinee...I invite you all to come..it's free, and will be as good as the evening performances the next two nights, which require tickets.

I am doing a Patsy Cline lipsync, with Elliott "strumming" a toy guitar from Toys Are Us.
Always good for a laugh!

Lipsync is my specialty since retiring. I am doing Patsy's "Heartaches" and part of "Crazy." Yes, I wear a cowgirl hat...anything for western authenticity!

I'm glad to be back...so much to read, so little time until after the show. Thanks for thinking of me...

Paul, I've got that feeling, that
"You'll be swell,
You'll be great,
Gonna have the whole world on a plate,
Startin' here, starting now
HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES..."

We love you and believe in you...can't you feel the vibes???

Grandma

Sometimes I feel I'm so behind here that I'm off topic. I think we have an obligation to question "god" I can't imagine a higher power who could create all things and then sit back and assume we wouldn't ask the why's.
OCD is just another little thorn in my side. Hey if I didn't have these things how would I ever have an interesting conversattion?
Nich, welcome. I hope you dance your whole life with the joy it brings you now.
My dear Katalina, I too am an explorer. I find it difficult to relax though, because I always think there are things do be done. Vacation is my time. I live for vacation! I'm counting the days right now!
Peace, Inn

I must be the most misunderstood person on this board. My comment was directed at a word, not Paul's feelings or his spiritual philosophy.

Welcome back Millie!

Love,
whit

Whit. don't worry you're not the most misunderstood. Some days we just can't read right. : )
Auntie Mil..you go girl. Patsy is one of my favs. Crazy...drives me crazy..I luv it.
I saw Moulin Rouge again yesterday. God I just loved it. I don't have it in my DVD collection, but it will be added in the near future.
Hey Paul...it's 2pm on Monday for you. You rock mate. I don't know who I'm agreeing with here...but this work you've been doing with the less than perfect job is going to provide you with one helluva backdrop for a part in The Full Monty which was one of the funniest damn movies and definitely a fav. You can't miss this one. Bring all that energy and frustration and desire to the part...you'll BE the man. You are the man.

Tim

go granny go!

ROFLMAO - suing john quigley!! nah, i'm not actually on the floor, but i sure am laughing my ... off.

whit, you're cOOl! we've all had posts we wish we could take back...but nOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, we pushed the little post button instead of the preview!

Saw "The Fast Runner", loved it, Saw "Moulin Rouge", hated it!

later all

bluedog, Tim, you make me feel better. I wouldn't take back my post though, any more than Paul would change his thread. I just wish my message had been perceived as it was intended. As much as I love the English language, it can be confusing at times.

I just saw "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". I thought it was , though it would be considered a chick flick and I just watched "Bandits" with Bruce and Billy Bob. I thought it was pretty funny and I'm pretty tough on comedies.

Good night Grandma.
Love!!!
whitney

Evelyn, I am sorry to hear about your stalker problem. I didn't mean to make light of the situation; just didn't understand the extent of it. I'd be furious, too.

I found a website that has some instructions on how to deal with stalkers and a list of resources. The resources list is located at . If I can find more information, I'll pass it along. Is it possible to arrange for extra security where you work? One of the suggestions on the home page of this site is to make others aware of the problem so they can help protect you. I'll be thinking protective thoughts for you.

Love,

Diane

Whitney, as is the way of this board a comment sparks another and another and where we go who is to know - sometimes even where we started is not so easy to trace. Please know this though - you have not done anything other than contribute and I thank you for that :)!

Ps I am not sure I actually understand any one on this board, especially me!!

I have had the biggest butterflies all flamin day. I get to sing some more tomorrow for the USA producers and I am a mixture of excitement and nerves. I have decided though that I am going to surrender to the pure joy of being able to do it - even if it is off key once in a while! I'm going to sing, dance and act like it is the first and the last time I get to do it and I'm not going to give a damn!

Night all!

Paul...You go, boy!! You do have the right stuff so strut it. Break a leg for sure!

Evelyn...Keep yourself safe!

Linda

Paul, I admire your attitude!!! Good luck Tuesday and may you experience the pure joy that you describe, & give the butterflies to all of us, we can handle them. :) I hope you slept well and I'll be thinking off you sending you vibes of calmness, surrender, no-butterflies and the kick-ass attitude that you have anyway.

Thank you Paul. I'm a bit of a tender-hearted person at times, but I should have known Millie wouldn't be your average g-ma. All my concern was needless.

Your reassurance is comforting. I do love the give and take on this board. You're a genuine sweetie. Even so, I don't expect sunshine and lollypops with every new thread; rage whenever you need too.

There does seem to be an element of karma in the universe and I think you've earned this opportunity. All of us are rooting for you and we know you're going to kick ass! You're exactly what they're looking for!

Good morning Grandma. I don't want to miss another chance to say I love you.

I love all of you. It may seem that I'm wearing out that four letter word, but I really mean it and I don't want to pass up a chance to tell you.
Whitney

diane: i had more energy on the fast than before it began. the first two days were the roughest, but then i hit my stride. my "normal" routine outside of fasting would have been to get drunk or at least drink every night, smoke a pack of cigs and overeat. fasting was part detoxification and part habit-breaker. it was very empowering, as well. now, i know i do have discipline. i highly recommend an all-natural juice fast (unpasteurized, no pulp) because you are filling your stomach with something. i also took vitamins. my source of enjoyment was creating menus in my head of what i wanted to eat when i came off it. thanks for asking. and, seriously, if i can do it, anyone can. it helps to have someone to do it with, too.

kelli, happy birthday. 17 was a fun year.

paul, things picking up??

PAUL

IF YOU CHECK YOUR EMAIL BEFORE YOU GO....

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. SEND ALL THOSE DAMN BUTTERFLIES AND SHIT TO US. WE'LL FEEL IT FOR YOU. YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO. LET IT GO AND SURRENDER. YOU GOT IT IN THE BAG MATE. ANDREA AND THE GIRLS ARE BEHIND YOU. YOUR E-FAMILY IS BEHIND YOU...SO ROCK ON!!!

GO...GO...GO...GO

TIM

Good luck Paul!!!
Katalina

Hi Inn! Hey I live for vacation too.
Next one is coming up this June, and I'm gonna
go after my little dream of seeing Santa Fe, NM!
Trying to talk one of my best friends who is an artist into going w/me to possibly put a bug in her ear (cuz I think she's so talented)...and see if she likes the place. (If I like it, I'm considering relocating for a while...possibly...something I've been considering for quite a while.)
Hope you have a great week m'dear! Hope you and the kids are doing well! I got to see Austin over the weekend! What a doll. I totally adore him and we really have fun together. :)

Evelyn: I'm sorry to hear about your stalker situation. Hope you can find some way to rid yourself of this problem soon! I can relate. About 10 yrs ago I had a similar problem. I had a young landlord tracking me down for about 6 yrs, no matter where I moved, he would find me. Unlisted numbers were not an obstacle for him. He even tracked me down once when I was over visiting my parents. Eventually he went away. But it was uncomfortable looking over the shoulder for a while. Yuk. Good luck with this. A few other close calls have happened, but not like this one I just mentioned. He was the longest running weirdo to watch out for. I think I'm just really careful and aware of my surroundings much of the time now, and yes, even at work. Take care, dear.

Katalina

Yes, Paul! You go in with joy and you go out with joy. You can't control their response, but you CAN blow them away.

Have you ever seen Tyne Daly in the recent production of "Gypsy" or heard her on the cast recording? She's not a singer. But when you watch her perform you can't take your eyes off of her and when you listen to her belt out those tunes with her non-melodic, somewhat- strained voice, you KNOW she's Mama Rose. She used her weakness to embody that character. And you will, too! And like Ms. Daly, you can have the time of your life doing it.

Yes, indeed — surrender to the joy. According to my medicine cards, butterfly represents transformation. So sing those butterflies out of your stomach and let them do their work. Break a leg, Paul!

Diane

Texas, thanks for the feedback on your fasting experience. I may have to give that a try!

Hello everyone,
I got a little lost when this site was updated. I just found it again today. It looks like I have a lot to catch up on..........

Hi Texas: do you do your own juicing?
what are the good detox fruits/veges? I use yogi detox teas once in a while, but haven't tried juicing yet. I've heard lemongrass, alfalfa are good. I just can't imagine they'd taste good cold. *sticks out tongue* blehk.

Regards,
Katalina

..wait a minute...i have had the ODWALLA green juice...with the spirulina and chlorella, green/blue algae stuff in it. looks nasty, but tastes ok and seems to have good effects on the bod. I'll have to take a closer look at those ingredients again to see what else they cut that with to make it taste good.

Katalina

I seriously doubt God reads message boards...so no harm done!

Dearest Paul,

I've learned to figure out the time in Australia by the time in Florida, and as I type, it's about 7:30 a.m. in Melbourne, and maybe you're thinking of the audition, but so are we....there's enough positive energy just on this site alone
to empower you to give the mother of all perfomances at the audition today!

During the dress rehearsal this morning, I was thinking of you...when my beautiful chorus members sang "Love Is In The Air" while hugging their partners, I could feel wonderful vibes, experience the sweet smell of success, and I wish to share these positive thoughts with you as you go into the second audition today.

As young Nic said, you have inspired young and old, and all those in-between, and that's why you will succeed today, for it is ordained...("bichert")

Love you madly,

Grandma

Well Paul, it's Tuesday morning there, so I'm sending out lots of good energy to you. You will be fantastic! I talked to God and everything;)

Whitney, you should have no worries re: post interpretations. You said what you felt, with the best of intentions. I hope today is happy for you.

Good luck Tim, to you and your wife. You as well Nich, and welcome to you.

Texas, I did a 5 day juice fast many years ago. I remember how sick I felt on the third day, it was awful! A guy at the food co-op told me that the third day is generally when your body starts ridding itself of the toxins in a major way. No kidding, I was nauseous and dizzy all day. After that I wasn't even hungry. I felt great. When I finally did eat some fruit on the 6th day, it took me quite a while. Overall it was a great experience.

Margie, you crack me up with your Donny Osmond music. I had that same album. I saw good old Donny several times when he was here starring in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. He was really good in it. He was only wearing a loin-cloth for a portion of the show. I must say he was in wonderful shape at the time.

Diane, I'd like to hear more of your political stories sometime. I did volunteer work when Michael Dukakis ran in '88. It was an eye-opener for me and I learned a lot.

Here's HUGE laser beams of energy from Chicago to Paul --------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Love from Michelle

More positive vibes to Paul and good luck!!!!!!

Diane, thanks for your concerns and I would like the URL if you still have it. It didn't get posted, and no, I didn't think you made light of the situation at all. I really didn't say more than state the fact last Thursday, probably even more cryptic than intended, but somehow reading Paul's brief expression of anger, resonated with my own state of mind I was in at that particular moment, otherwise I probably wouldn't have said anything and I do have a lot of friends/colleagues who watch out for me. Thanks also to Linda and Katalina for your wishes of safety, & Katalina, 6 years!!! Yikes. How the heck did you survive???

Nich, welcome and congrats for making it to the state finals & good luck there, break a leg (not physically!!!!).

Good going on the fasting, texas. My mum does it regularly, though not on juice, I've never tried it, thought about it though. How's your mum doing? I hope her health is improving and the treatment working. Send her my love.

So grandma, how was rehearsal this morning? I thought about you guys and I'm pretty sure you had more fun than I did at work, though it wasn't a bad day at all. Did you figure out better ways of working with the stage? Of course you already know that I'm going to ask you about this off this board too. Grin! :)

Love to all! & again good luck to Paul keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Just checkin' in. Sorry, Paul...I LAUGHED at your "Dear God" post. You're just so CUTE when you're sassy! ;-)

Hugs to all, more later. Oldest child turns 6 today. Waaahaaaaaaa...I want my BABY back!
Dhi

Evelyn: hi. well it wasn't a 6yr daily or even monthly thing...it was more like 6 yrs of tracking me down, asking me out over phone at home/work a few times a year for 6 yrs. He never made threats, or anything like that...it was more like phone stalking and was just a little creepy. I don't open my door to strangers. My friends usually call first and I expect them.
I guess I wasn't as concerned as I had friends & big, strong boyfriends around a lot and just played it down. It bugged me more than scared me, I think. If anything had happened, the guy would've had a kicking, screaming, angry girl on his hands who would definitely defend herself - or at least put up a helluva good fight, at least I think. I moved a lot when younger (not for that reason 'tho..just restless, liked change), so that took care of most of it.
Hope you're doing ok, 'though. I know others have not had such an easy time of it.
Hugz, Katalina

Hi Nich...I'm fairly new here too. Congrats about making state finals! Wishing you and your partner all the best!! (I start a beginning Salsa class tomorrow night.)

Katalina

Go, Paul, go!
For all I know, with the time diff, 17 hours, I think, the audition is over already, but I'm rooting for you!
hugs and smiles,
Sally

No news yet?

I just watched "The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys" and enjoyed it.

I hope you had a good day Evelyn. And that goes for the rest of yas too.

Good night Grandma.
Love,
Whitney

Hey all. The audition went pretty well. Best thing is I stepped up to the plate and did my best. I am pretty happy with it!! and with me. Feels so good when you achieve something. I feel a little bummed now cos Ive had a taste at getting back up in front of people and making them laugh, giving and getting responses - ah what a drug! I am happy to say I entertained the panel very well. Even dropped my dacks and revealed my smiling undies - that got a good laugh. Just makes me want to do MORE.

After the audition I raced home, changed, stuffed down some lunch all the while recounting the whole ordeal to my wife and then raced off to the computer shop. It's pretty quiet here. I keep on wanting to burst out in to song - almost did and got a funny look from a customer:) Come on the power that is - yeah Im talking to you God -let me back where I belong!!!!!!! On stage, on camera, entertaining, nurturing, making people laugh and leading them to love again.

"..........sigh.........."

I told my agent I didnt want to hear the outcome until tomorrow as I needed a day off from intense emotional feelings. If I dont get it I will be disappointed and if I do the butterflies will bug me all the way to the next round! So tonight I can relax and be normal. :I????

My middle daughter was voted House Captain at school today!!! I am so proud of her and I hear in her voice the joy that that recognition brings. It makes me melt!

Hi Paul,

turning summersalts to know how it went today!!! Welcome Nich. Katalina, I've enjoyed reading your posts too and never said "hello", you too, Linda. Paul, I did remember to pray for you... You too, Tim, but yours in on Wed, Correct?

Who hated Moulin Rouge? Roger Ebert said that it's "like a circus in an elevator". If you couldn't get it at first, watch it again, all the way to the end. Wow. Love that cute Ewan Mcgregor!!!! Millie was right, Chicago was FANTASTIC!!!!

Michelle, remember the "zylaphone song"? Moonlight feels right? Really corny!!!! hahahaha it makes me laugh just thinkin about it!!!

Hope all is well with everyone....

Love,

Margie

Congratulations, Paul! Still pulling for you. (Smiling undies. Heehee. Nice touch.) Normal, huh? That's a good one ;))! Tell me when you find out what that is.

And congratulations to your daughter! You're a house full of winners, I see. What are her duties as House Captain?

Tim, best wishes to you and your wife this week. I'll be streaming great energy your way, too.

'Night, all...

Diane

Paul, I eagerly read your post about the second audition and I know very well the thrill of
the audience's reaction...it is the ultimate high, and the laughter, the applause, the appreciation, only feeds the feeling, "wow, I did it, listen to them, I want to do it again, and again", and, as Sally Field joyfully exclaimed to millions upon receiving her Oscar, "You really like me, you really like me!"

It's early a.m. and I am sleepless in Florida, thinking of you (and my own show), so as we wait, let's think:

"....That lucky star I talked about is due,
Honey, everything's comin' up roses
For me and for you!!"

Your devoted Grannie Millie

Paul, this is so fantastic!!! This makes waking up in the middle of the night without being able to go back to sleep worth while (what is it with us waking up so early???) Glad you are feeling good about yourself and your accomplishments and you should!!! I love your sense of humor, in general, but also with the undies, very funny! And please hand over the darn butterflies [only the nervous ones, not the good ones that Diane talked about earlier, those you may keep :) ] I hope you get good news on Wednesday, I'll continue to keep my fingers and toes crossed for you and send all the other good things your way. And keep singing at work if the mood strikes you, let the others give you weird looks. Should make for a more fun day at work, for everyone! :)

Congratulations to your daughter too!!! [and for the unenlightened like me, what the heck is a house captain and what does s/he do?]

And Tim, good luck with the interview on Wednesday and stay calm and focused today as your prep for it one more time, and you too may hand over your butterflies!!! and good vibes are on the way for you as well.

Dhiana, nope you don't really want your baby back!!! but happy birthday to her/him. Hope you had fun.

Love to all!
Evelyn

"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade"......?

Tim, I've done my bit now it is up to you my friend to do your bit! Thinking of you! Sending you the vibes. Be you! Thats the best that you are!

I believe t, we believe, you believe!

Chookas

Paul...You are in the zone!! Your positive energy is contagious - keep it flowing. Good things are coming! Thinking of you.

Tim...I am sure this energy will pass on to you. Good luck!

Linda

Good morning Grandma and all!

Sounds like you feel good about your 2nd audition Paul. Just getting the callback is cause for congratulations!

Now the pressure's on you Tim, but I have no doubt, it'll only make you thrive!

Have a kick ass day all.
Love and Peace,
Whit

Paul,
It's great that you feel good about your audition. As one of your lovesick, sucking up fans, my idea is, "how could they not cast you???!!!"
Break a leg, Millie. Wish I could be there!
Tim, I'm pulling for you.
Have a good day!

Couldn't WAIT to wake up this am and read the boards to see the news....guess we're still waiting, eh?! even made it b4 latte!!!! (that's a first!!!) Everything's crossed...eyes, fingers, legs, toes, eyebrow hairs...wishing hard here, good luck, Paul!!! (congrats to your middle daughter too, that's so cool. i understand about the heart melting...mine's in a perpetual state of goo from my little nephew/niece, soooo adorable!)
But, like ya said...just getting out there again has got to feel good...like interviewing (for me)...staying sharp, fresh and ready to use those talents and try something new (again)!! "You can Leave your HAT on...lalalalalaaaaa" *tee hee...smiling undies. Only Paul...only Paul! such irreverance!!! Love it!*

Regards,
Katalina

Hey Paul!!!!

Sounds like you had and AWSOME time. Good for you!!! I sure hope everything works to you expectations. Hopefully this will be a terrific selling day for you. Your excitement will be contagious!!! (sp)?

Congrats to you middle daughter!! Sounds like a position of honor and respect. Ok. Gotta ask..
what's a House Captain? Is it sort of like a class president?

Have a wonderful day everyone!!!

Love,

Margie

Hello to you 2 Margie!
I really liked MR too w/E.MacGregor. I have to agree w/Nicole K., where she said every time he (Ewan) opened up his mouth to sing, she fell a little more in love w/him. (I know it's just stage talk, but it was cute) I felt the same way!! *grin* I've seen him in a few other things (uhm, I actually didn't like Trainspotting - opens self up for flames...but, well, I didn't.) I did like him in the Serpent's Kiss and this other movie, In the Eyes of the Beholder w/Ashley Judd. He's got a good presence and knows how to use his eyes (too). *whew...fans self* Seems very intelligent offscreen too, from interviews, etc. But, MR, was such fun and I loved the use of those silly songs many of us grew up with. I thought it was clever to use them to fit the situations...very cute. And, they both had fairly nice voices if a little weak (non-projecting) at times (Nic). But I was just happy they could carry tunes (I sure wasn't wincing!!)and the story, costumes, visuals, use of color and flair kept me locked on from can-can frenzied spectacle beginning to heartbreaking end. What a fantastic roller coaster. Had to own it....just like SB, which i just got in the mail last week. Not a good version 'though. Color is off and I can't adjust it. Plus it's a little blurry. Guess i should have signed up for the Director's Cut....durnit.

'ave a good day!

Katalina

Hey everyone! I'm back finally, had some computer trouble (ie, it DIED and I couldn't resurrect it). Paul, way to go! Glad to hear that cheerful tone from you. Here's hoping that Wednesday brings even more good news! Tim, good luck today! Sending extra positive thoughts your way. Grandma, good luck with your show! I can't wait to hear about how it went! Wish I could be there to see it myself.

And now I must run or I'll be late to class (again)...take care, everyone!

Love, Mysti

Paul & Tim,
Good luck guys! I feel lots of positives in the air. I hope it transforms into the outcomes you're both looking for.
Paul, I don't think I've seen your mood as obviously bouyant as was evident in the last post. Good on you. I'm glad you're feeling terrific. Hold on.

Hi to everyone else. I'll try to catch up one day soon, but right now I'm flat out like a lizard drinking!

Have a bonza day,

Peter

just wanted to say thanks to all who wrote in their support and encouragement for me - i wish i could spend some more time around here but practice is essential and every hour cant be wasted.
i'll be back after states though with whatever results i may have, thanks again for all your welcomes, and another eternal thanks to my inspiration.
keep your fingers crossed!
-Nich

and a little sidenote before i go...
Paul, just wanted you to know that we're all hoping for you with this audition because we all know in our hearts that its meant to be. but even if you dont get the part, youll always be the same perfect talent and lovable human being, no matter what any audition tells you.

WOW! im so happy for you Paul! very awesome post!

Whitney, thanks for the birthday wishes! I had a great one! take care!

Grandma, hows that wonderful show of yours going??

Love to all
Kelli

Here, here to Nich's post!!

:) Katalina

Happy Belated Birthday Kelli!!!
Wow, to be 17 again. Would I? Not on your life!! But I did love it then. Let's see....does that make you a junior. Only one more year. So much learning to do and so much fun to be had.
Congrats Kelli!! you sound like a real doll. Hope you did something wonderful.

I second Katalina's Here!!!! Go for it Nich!!!

LOve,

Margie

Dear Kelli,

While we're waiting to hear from Paul, I want to say again, I am sorry that the birthday card I made for you weeks in advance of March 2nd, did not reach you, for some reason. I sent it to your email address, but no good. Oh, well, you know Gramps and I send our love to you...you are undoubtedly the youngest on this site, and I am the oldest, so let's stick together!

My show is almost ready. We have our first audience on Monday morning, and then two nights, Tuesday, March 11th and Wednesday, March 12th. Wish everyone here could be there!

The dress rehearsal yesterday was so gratifying..everyone looked so beautiful...for the opening number, the chorus sang part of "Love Is in The Air" and the women were dressed in their party finery, and the men in tuxedos or dark suits.

When the curtain goes up for the first time, 15 couples are dancing to "Moonlight Serenade" by Glenn Miller, and then the narrator comes out and
introduces the show as "filled with song, dance, comedy, and a wish for peace and love..."

Then, "Love Is In the Air" starts, and then the chorus goes into a medley of show tunes, ending with "There's No Business Like Show Business.."

Then the first solo song starts, and on it goes, with 39 varied acts of song, dance, and comedy, including "Perhaps, Perhaps," "Happy Feet", and "Rhumba de Burros".

Some of singers and dancers are in their 70s, a lot in their 80s, and the oldest, 91, sings a cute duet with his girlfriend. I am the youngest in the cast, believe it or not! Ellie and I do an
act together, as I mentioned before. I lipsync to Tim's favorite, Patsy Cline!

Well, that's enough...gotta wait to hear from Paul...yes, once it's in your blood, there's no business like show business...

Love,

Grandma

Happy Belated Bday Kelli!! wow...17...i remember that age *smile* but I agree w/the other poster...i wouldna wanna go back. i dinna, wouldna, shallna! but you enjoy it for us now, ok?!! *grinn*

Grandma Millie: your upcoming show sounds fantastic! wish FL weren't so far away...what a lot of work you've been putting into this (from your postings). Will anyone be taking photographs (perhaps scannable for later)???

Katalina

So much to say so little time.
I was so nervous today at work I smoked a pack of cigarettes...Now my mouth feels like a litterbox.
Tomorrow is the day.
Happy belated birthday Kelli...17 was awesome. I was elected friendliest in my senior class. It was an incredible year. One of those that I'll never forget. ENJOY.
Aunt MIL>>>>>
You go girl. I so wish that I could make it to your show. I would give anything to see you lip sync to Patsy. I never liked country music til I heard Patsy. I still don't. She just had this thing in her voice that gives me goose bumps.
Paul. Thanks so much for the personal note. I will give it my all. I'm so happy that you did too. And like everyone else here, I cannot imagine that you wouldn't be in that play especially after you flashed your tush. Well a covered tush...but a tush. It's lunchtime in Melbourne...so I'm assuming you've heard something by now. I'm hoping for the outcome you want. I'm anxious for you. Tell your daughter I'm proud of her too. That's great news. You are a family of achievers and I know you're in awe of her. Give her a big hug of approval from me and I'm sure no one would mind if I said give it to her from all of us. We're proud of her too.

All my best....
Tim

........Havent heard anything yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

House Captain is like the head prefect for your class etc. The school has different houses like in Harry Potter - Slytherin/Hufflepuff/Ravensclaw etc So Emily is the Captain for her House and thus looks after kids needs, organising events, counseling etc. Her best friend was made school Captain so between the two of them they have things pretty well sown up!

My eldest is also a house Captain in her high school. As for the youngest I did ask her when she was going to get it together and be something and she just looked at me with her big brown dinner plate sized eyes, sized me up , sparkled her dazzling sparkling look she does, lifted an eye brow and with a nonchalant wistful shrug that said I dont care I am care free and gorgeous, said "Idunno" and then promptly giggled. Hmmmmmmmm she's got it too good and I am wrapped around her finger!

Paul, You've got a b-day coming soon! This month too.

LATE BREAKING NEWS

I PASSED!!!

I AM NOW OFF TO SYDNEY TO ATTEND THE FINAL AUDITIONS ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

AGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHA!

i'm a little nervous too, timmer - but will only entertain the thought that you and m'curio get the job/part - Get ready to break out the Bollinger, sweetcakes!!

and pete, flat out like a lizard drinking? 'splain that please? the sentence cracked me up just 'cause it reads funny, but then realized i didn't know what the hell it meant!!

i'll leave bonza and chookers for later...

nich-i'll keep my fingers crossed for you too! here's a wish of good luck to go with your hard work!!!

kelli girl - Seventeen! Perfect age! Happy belated b'day - Course when eighteen rolls around, i'll post "perfect age" again!!!

later all

Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

KELLI HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Whit, I liked the movie (How to lose a guy in 10 days) too. Laughed my ass off. KICK. Congrats on your diet. Thanks for looking after Granny Mil. Kick.

Evelyn, I couldn't resist posting. I'll write more after the stitches are out. Typing with one hand sucks. LOL. I hope the stalker situation is resolved.

Hugs To Granny Mildred, from Sami too.

Paul. I haven't shin kicked you in a while. Sounds like you've missed it. LOL... Great post. Thanks for the laugh and jaw drop. DITTO. I had to ask my son to leave the room three times while reading the post. LOL. Sow, sow, sow, your garden. KICK. KICK.

Hugs everyone
Suz

Way to go Paul!!!!!

Suz
Kick, Kick (for the finals).Sow, Sow, Sow.

Paul,
Good work. Looks like things are hottin' up. Yeehaaa!! Good luck in Sydney.

Bluedog,
Long time no hear.
"Flat out like a lizard drinking" means that I'm extremely busy (an understatement). Lizards lie with their legs extended straight out to the sides when they drink, well, at least all the lizards around here drink that way.

Yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Way to go Paul!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, not to put a damper on your enthusiasm, but what does that mean for you day job?

so excited for you!!!

Will continue praying. Tim, it's your turn tomorrw!!!!!

Peter, loved the lizard. That just cracks me up

Talk to ya all later!!!!

Yippie ky yo ky yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spelling??

LOve,

Margie

Absolutely THRILLED for you, Paul! Now knock 'em dead in Sydney!!!

To Tim and the Mrs. — best wishes.

To Millie — hit the heights!

To all others — good and happy days ahead.

Love,
Diane

Margie, you got to give a bit to get a bit. So I will give up my days wages and comission in the hope of getting a job in September - the musical starts rehersing then. A tough week as I lost a Days worth for Tuesday's audition too but I will have to work doubley hard or have some lucky days to make it up. Thats the arts.

I am pretty excited!

How'd you go Timbo?

Love to all.

Work em hard Grandma!!

...told ya' so, Paul!!! Ya' gotta listen to your Grannie!!!! You made my day and it's only 3:00 a.m.!! (I couldn't sleep, for thinking...)

Sydney? Sydney? The city where you practiced under a Coke sign and clothesline and won the Pan Pacifics? It will be a piece of cake again, because we're all here, loving you and having faith in your ability as an actor and dancer to succeed in the final audition...can't you feel the vibes??

It all started in Sydney, and the beat continues, for "that lucky star I talked about is due..."

Your ever lovin' (I'm beginning to talk like Patsy Cline)

Grannie

...and to you, dear Timbo, the best of luck today! It's gonna (here I go again) be a double header...first Paul and now you! Your Auntie loves you too, and knows that you will be successful because you have the smarts!

Your posts have been so positive, they are a pleasure to read, and again everyone is here to cheer you on today. Can't wait to hear the good news!

I'm glad you too are a Patsy Cline fan. She would have been my age,(70) today, but she perished in a plane crash when she was only in her early 30s, leaving behind an incredible
legacy of great western song hits. She inspired many of the other young female singers who came after her, from Loretta Lynne to Faith Hill and Reba MacIntire.

Again, may good fortune come your way today, Timbo! As Patsy would say, "happy trails to you..." (Oh, dear, I think that was Roy Rogers or Gene Autry, but you get the drift...)

Your ever lovin' Auntie Mil

Just wanted to let you all know - when I went in for my audition yesterday to sing my song and do my scene guess who was standing up the back watching?? ALL OF YOU GUYS! Yes I imagined that you were all in the room with me and you all wanted me to sing to you and then act my scene out. I could see each of you there smiling, enjoying, encouraging, laughing and tapping your feet to my song and my voice. So thank you all for being there with me. I enjoyed being there for you! ALL OF YOU.

Paul...Outstanding news for sure!! Knock them dead in Sydney! No one can do it better. You are on your way. Sending you the very best of positive vibrations.

Grandma...Get some sleep!

Linda

Paul...We were all with you at your audition and will be for the next round. Always think of us that way - with you, cheering you on. Linda

I couldn't wait to get up and check the site this morning. I was nervous as shit for you Paul. You'd think I auditioned. I almost felt like taking a xanax first. I am SO PROUD OF YOU> YOU DID IT. YOU'RE OFF TO SYDNEY. EXCELLENT.
CHOOKAS to you too.

Awesome mate...awesome.

Timbo

Yes, Linda, you're right...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

After hearing about Paul's success, I took your advice and took a little cat nap...now I'm at the
computer, and it's only 8:00 a.m.! It's going to be 90 in Florida today, but with such joy on this site, who cares about the weather when it's our Paul that's so hot!!

Love,

Grandma

I'm trying to catch up on these posts, but before it gets too late in the morning I just want to say , go get 'em Tim. Take no prisoners!

Love,
whitney

Wow!!!!!!!! I knew it!!!!! We all knew it!!!!!!!
The next audition will be a wonderful replay of the previous two! Congratulations Paul! How sweet that you envisioned us cheering you on. We were there in our hearts and in our minds!

Good morning Grandma! Is this not exciting? Another door has opened for Paul! We have your show too! And Tim's interview! This board has the ability to collect our positive energy, our prayers, our vibes and help us direct them to the ones we love. I'm getting goose bumps!!!

Kelli, I have to credit Grandma with the fact that I wished you a happy birthday on time. She was so excited about your special day and had planed a special card, as you've read. It's too bad it didn't get to you, but you were in her thoughts! I'm glad you had a good day.

Everyone have a great day!
Love, Whitney

...all right, everyone, from north, south, east, west, and Australia, I will lead you in song in honor of Paul before he goes to Sydney...watch the baton...just like in my show, the opening scene with this medley of songs:

Soloist, slowly:

"Love is in the air,
Everytime I look around,
Love is in the air,
Every sight and every sound,
And I don't know if I'm being foolish,
Don't know if I'm being wise,
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes..."

Chorus, with rhythm:

"Love is in the air,
In the rising of the sun,
Love is in the air,
When the day is nearly done,
And I don't know if you're illusion,
Don't know if I see it true,
But you're something that I must believe in,
And you're there when I reach out for you....
....you'll be swell, you'll be great,
Gonna have the whole world on your plate,
Starting here, starting now,
Honey, everything's coming up roses...
Another op'nin' another show,
From Philly, Boston, and Baltimo',
A chance for stagefolk to say HELLO!
Another op'nin' of another show.....
There's no people like show people
They smile when they are low,
Yesterday they told you you would not go far,
That night you opened and there you are,
Next day on your dressing room they hung a star,
Let's go on with the show...
Let's go on with the show!!!!

With all this energy, Paul, could you doubt the outcome??? (Excuse me, where's my Kleenex...)

Love,

Grandma

And as I have been known to say, "YEEEEEE HAW!"
Ride 'em!!!!!!!
Stellar, simply stellar!!!

I have been there... hey go ahead and say what you want to say.. your page! obviously you believe that there is something we call 'god' in order to acknowledge it in the first place... a lot of people can't do that and if anyone says something bad in response... who cares? They have had the same idea atleast once in their life. Hey say what you feel the only one to put you down is someone who is ASHAMED of feeling the same way and cannot admit it. Let them deal with it. sorry.... no caffeine this morning.... and in a confused love-strickin mood.

sounds like good news so far!! Yayyyyy Paul, goooooo Tim!

Your little e-fam is definitely w/ya all the way!

Best of luck to ya both!

Hugz n Kicks from
Katalina who's jonesin' for a latte now...*shake, shake, shiver, shake*

Paul, I'm so happy for you! I kept visualizing you really knocking their socks off and you did! I hope Tim has equally good news for us.

Paul, there are some Aussies here in Chicago doing a "performance art" type thing. Not quite sure how to label it. It's called Puppetry of the Penis. I hear it was a big hit in Melbourne, or so the write-up for the show says. I guess they perform this so-called "genital origami" on stage with extra help from a projector so each creation is sure to be seen by everyone. The Full Monty sounds tame compared to this! Are you familiar with this show? The man that reviewed it kept going on about how boring it was while also commenting on the big groups of laughing women in attendance. I would definitely have to have a few beers before seeing it/them/whatever.

Love to all,
Michelle in Chicago

Juchuhhhhh!!! (sorry, wrong language!) Yipppeeee!!! (closer) I'm so VERY happy for you Paul!!!!! Kick some more *** in Sydney and enjoy it even more!!! I had butterflies all day yesterday (very weird, but I guess I asked for them LOL), I so wanted to know last night how things had gone for you, but my stupid phone line is screwed up again and I can get calls, but not make any, thus no internet either ... drove me absolutely nuts not to know and having to wait for 24 hours (Yep Suz, I shouldn't be typing either as I injured one of my fingers. I hope your hand heals quickly, but how can one not respond to Paul's good news???) And by the way, Paul, I'll cheer your youngest on, all the way!!! for having you wrapped around her finger. THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE!!!!! Good for her. Of course I'll cheer the other ones on as well for their accomplishements of being house captains. It's really "cute" to see how proud a dad you are :-)))) And one more thing, rest assured that we will all tag along for the trip to Sydney and cheer you on all the way! Good luck!!!!!

Hi Grandma, hope all is well with your show. It's coming up very soon!!!

Hi sis, how was your day? (FYI, Whit and I adopted each other as siters the other day. My extended family is getting more and more interesting!!! Just the way I like it!!)

Okay, typed enough for today. Nope, one more thing: how did it go Tim? I thought about you often today as well and sent you happy, success vibes.

Love to all,
Evelyn

Knew you would do it Paul. Ok, so here I go...dancing with Paul, celebrating 17 with Kelli, singing with Grandma Mil, popping Xanex with Timbo (boy can I use it), yee hawing with Margie, kicking with Whit and Suz, standing behind with Katalina, and now running off cuz like Peter, I'm flat out like a lizard drinkin'.
Peace,Inn

Way to go Paul!!! I'm so glad we could all be there cheering you on!! We will all take the ride to Sydney with you to if you don't mind. Didn't think you would.
Where's Tim? What good news do you and your wife have for us tonight.
Grandma Millie: Your show sounds exciting, too bad you can't get someone to tape it for you. You could add it to your Movie Nights.
Kelli, very belated birthday. My DIL's birthday is this month, I always miss it and my son's birthday is in April. That's usually when I remember the other one. I just send enough money that they can go out to a nice dinner together to celebrate. Their Birthdays are even the same day (27th).
I have new A/C, Furnace, and hot water heater and insulation in the attic. The thermostat is set on 70 and I'm still freezing.
I decided not to go back to work tonight, maybe the boss will catch up with us. I put payroll reports on his desk today and will do the last 3 of those tomorrow morning. Then it is back to the taxes.
Gotta Go, have prescription I need to go get filled, get gas in the car and buy my lottery ticket. With all the good vibes here this might be my lucky night.
Hugs all around,
Sherrlyn

Way to go, Paul!!!
You know we'll be there again in Sydney, so knock
us on our asses! :)
Congrats to your daughters,too, they seem to know their strengths! ;)
hugs and smiles, planning a mental trip to Sydney...
Sally

paul: i have butterflies in my stomach for you -- dancing, happy butterflies, but still butterflies. enjoy the final round in sydney. and we'll be here come rain or shine, but keep on shining.

couple of you asked some questions about the juice fast. i'll keep it brief since it's off topic, but here goes: no, i didn't do my own juicing even though i own a juicer. i live in manhattan, so i'm close to a couple juice bars. depending on what organ(s) you want to detox depends on the particular juice (vegetable or fruit). there's a book called Juice Fasting and Detoxification on amazon.com that is a quick, easy read of everything. yes, the first couple of days of the fast i felt like crap because my body was working -- cleaning all that garbage out. i broke out, got an eye infection, it was foul. then, seriously suddenly, i was wonder woman. i had energy, lost weight, had great skin, it was amazing. again, i highly recommend for detox, empowerment issues, but listen to your body.

peace.

Hey Guys..
The day was long. I started off with a 1 hour massage. Smoked about 15 cigarettes, and took a xanax before the interview.
But...I was very relaxed. The testing went fine. The interview felt great. I'll hear something on Monday about a second interview. My gut feeling is I at least made it through round 1. Thanks for all your support.

I'm more happy for Paul though. He's getting back into what really makes him happy and provides much better as well. Can't wait to see him on stage.

I'm planning on taking my kids (the older ones) to see the newest Cirque du Soleil. I've seen several and I love them. There so "out there." But that's me.

A funny note my wife saw me taking off my rings and "parting" my hair and doing all this corporate looking stuff and then she says "What you're not going to wear your silver hoops for the interview?" She's such a smart ass sometimes. I wear a couple of thumb rings and they really don't go over too good in this southern good ole boy world I'm imprisoned in.
Looking forward to some good news if it's meant to be and here's to Paul..knowing that we're going to have excellent news there.
Way to go Paul.
Aunt Mil...You ROCK!!!
Everyone else have a great evening and morning and afternoon and pray that Mr. Bush doesn't feel the urge to drop on bomb...that's going to be some deep shit..cause then you can just watch the cities in the US start crumbling from terrorists attacks.
Who knows maybe it's time for the earth to explode and we all go to whatever lies thereafter????
I dunno..but
Peace Love and Happiness to everyone.
You are a special group to me.
Tim

this traveling is wearing me out! off to Melbourne, back to Atlanta and now on to Sydney!!!

crazy for the patsy!! and now granny mil, how about a few songs from the late great peggy lee - my fav "Is that all there is?"

cirque du soleil is cOOl - course i gotta say that when i first saw riverdance i thought that was cool too! so will i get burned out on cirque? don't think so...

shit, i think we're going to war! They are calling up the rest of the reserves in texas and shipping them out! big mistake, big mistake, big mistake..............worried
later all........

Tim, congrats on the interview, look forward tohearing how it pans out.

I will start a new post when I come back from the audition in Sydney.

Till then take care all.

Wish the world well!

Good Morning, Whitney, (wink, wink!)

Bluedog, my husband just LOVES Peggy Lee's "Why Don't You Do Right" ("like some other men do...get outta here and get me some money too..")

Actually, it's a private thing, not to be mentioned here, but it evokes gales of laughter from me. I once thought I would lipsync Peggy's better songs, but I would have to don a blonde wig, and that, for sure, would be a comedy routine, which I will leave for the next "Follies" in two years, (if I'm not too old.)

We have to wait patiently to hear good news from Paul and Tim...Grannie says again, it's gonna happen!

Much Love,

Grandma Millie

Good morning Millie!

Good morning Everyone!

Thanks for sharing the juicing/fasting info texas. That's very interesting.

Tim, the interview sounds like it went well. Congrats! I'm with you and bluedog. It seems we have a recurring theme in our government : not enough time to count the votes and not enough time to inspect Iraq. My favorite old book says you should wait for your allies to be in agreement with you before you go to war. You'd think Bush could at least do that!!!!! Maybe it is time for us to move to the next stage of cosmic reality, but i wonder if the destruction of the earth is a step in this move.
I'd like to think Bush is just doing this big "show of strength" thing to get the desired results, but we'll probably hear that it's too late to stop no matter what happens. Maybe we should send the president a wrist watch. He doesn't seem to understand the concept of time.

Break a leg Paul!

Love to all,
Whitney

Congrats Tim! this is good news and I hope you get great news on Monday!

Good morning, Whitney, I agree with you, Tim and others on the whole war thing, but I think before anyone is trying to teach you know who to understand the concept of time, I'd start with teaching him the concept of listening and allowing for multiple view points. I'll leave it at that, for if I say what I really think, I might just get myself kicked out of this country, but then again, I might leave voluntarily, the advantage of having a different citizenship!

More good luck to Paul in Sydney! I'm on my way ...

Hey there!

It's been a while.

Everything sounds so exciting! Good luck to you Paul. I'll be one of the first to buy a ticket when you make it. I'll even risk all those nasty critters down under (snakes, spiders, etc...) to come see ya.

Tim, sounds like things have turned around for you. I'm so happy for you!

Texas, I have contemplated the juice fasting, your testimonial is convincing. We are vegans, and eat mostly raw foods, but for me personally, I think it might be a really good experience.

I agree, this war thing sucks donkey dick. (sorry, but that's about the nicest thing I could say about it) I am so full of frustration over it.

Take care everyone.

Guess what everyone. I get to go to Grandma's house and see her show!!!! Millie has welcomed me to stay with her and Ellie for a few days and I'm very excited! My mother is giving me the plane ticket as a birthday gift!

I'll try to take pictures when allowed and share them when I return (if they come out). I can't take any during the show, but Millie says she can get me backstage for a few shots! She has "connections"!

Love,
Whitney

wow! that is terrific - have enough fun for all of us!!!!

that's awesome, Whitney! Please say hello to Grandma Millie and enjoy the show (for all of us who wish we could too)!!

Hugz,
Katalina

Hi Inn- liked your post!
:-) :-) you seem in a good mood :-) :-)
hugz frum Kat n Sinbad
Katalina

Hey Everyone.

The dentist appointment went fine. My best friend Angela was there for moral support. It wasn't that painful, athough I felt the needle going in. My mouth was numb the whole time. It hurts a little right now. I'm doing good with keeping my gumline clean. Last week, it was infected. Now, it's improving. I will keep doing what the dentist says.

Paul, congratulations on the auditions and good luck. Go get em, Paul, and do your best. By the way, Angela thinks you're hot. Not only that, Angela's favorite actor is Ben Kingsley, your co-star of Joseph. Before I end this post, I would like to say, "Happy belated birthday, Erin" and "Happy 40th Birthday to you, Paul".

Sara

*P.S.: I hope you don't mind if I am wishing you a happy birthday early.

**P.P.S.: Who are you, Bluedog?

Yes, Ellie and I are very excited to have Whitney as our guest! She will see "Follies" on Wednesday night, the last night of the show, but I managed to get her a good seat, last minute!

We have never met, but we have spoken on the phone,and, of course, her posts are wonderful, and it's as if she's been a family member for ages. Ellie and I plan to meet her when she flies into Ft. Lauderdale International Airport on Wednesday morning.

How will we know each other?...a cinch...I will carry a sign saying "I'm Grandma Millie!" (I hope security doesn't arrest me as a kook!!)

Whitney will take pictures backstage at the show before curtain time...she has connections, you know!

We are planning a variety of activities until she leaves on Saturday. It promises to be days of fun, sun, and relaxation, including a "tour" of our picture gallery, ranging from pix of our large family, to a tribute to "Strictly Ballroom", pasted all over my computer room wall! Wish you could all come down here...maybe someday...

Elliott and I will be celebating our 50th wedding anniversary on this Saturday, March 8th. Whitney will be here for some of the festivities...today at rehearsal, the cast gave us flowers, and serenaded us with "The Best Of Times" (in the show)...an unforgetable moment...I thanked them all, and told them that the next best present would be great performances next week!

We're waiting to hear the good news from Tim and Paul. That would be two great presents too!!

Love you all,

Grandma Millie

All of you will be there with us, just like we are there with Paul and Tim! I'll pack as much fun into this brief visit as Millie throws at me and share the memories with everyone in Paul's Corner.

This is a big trip for this country mouse! My mother was worried initially. She's heard all the nightmare internet stories. I had a hearty laugh over the idea of Millie and Ellie doing me harm, but if I don't post for a really long period of time...

Just kidding Millie. And you won't need a sign. I'm sure I'll recognize the two of you instantly!

Love,
Whitney

Katalina, Grandma, Margie, Tim, Bluedog, Susan, Whitney, Innussiq, Sherrlyn- *Big* Smile your way! thank you so much! I don't feel 17 but I guess I'll *grow* into it, Im kind of like Drew Berrymore in the movie 'never been kissed' where she says "Im seventeen, Im seventeen!!" yea thats me! lol! huges and kisses** your the best!

Grandma, thank you thanking of me on my birthday! as Whitney said! im so sorry the card didn't come!! stupid emails! probally got all filled up before I could delete some of the older messages! Im so excited for you about your show!! and so jealous I can't see the show, I will most definately be thinking of you and the show on March 12th! Give Grandpa a huge hug for me! and u too!

much love to everyone!
Kelli

Hey Paul...
We're all standing in the background watching again. You knock em dead mate!!
Whit..you lucky gal. Take lots of pictures and give us all the wonderful details.
Aunt Mil..did you like the movie about Patsy Cline that starred Jessica Lange (I've been in love with her since I was 16 and she was in King Kong).

Tim

It's a busy week. Just want to synchronize with the vibes going out to Paul and Tim. (Serenading) "You're the Top, You're the Colliseum. You're the Top, You're the Louvre Museum. You're a melody of a symphony by Strauss..."

Welcome, Heather! Forgive me, but I don't remember if you've posted before and I wanted to acknowledge your post (with which I agree).

Congratulations, Millie and Elliott on your 50th Anniversary. You're great role models for all of us!

Whitney, you lucky duck! Fort Lauderdale is my hometown. Fond memories of daybreak on the beach. Have a wonderful visit!

Sara, so glad the dental visit turned out well for you. Stay well now.

Kelli, enjoy 17, and 18 and 19... It goes by quickly. Savor the moments.

Evelyn, Whitney and others — again, I am opposed to war as Bush is approaching it. The President may well be sabre-rattling to reach our disarmament objectives; but neither he nor his advisors have brought any understanding, diplomacy, or integrity to the process. The result is distrust and fear here and abroad. And Evelyn, if John Ashcroft gets his way and creates the Office of Total Information Awareness, we may all become targets. These are very scary times and we need to be vigilant.

I like Patsy Cline and Peggy Lee. Peggy was one of my dad's favorites. "Is That All There Is?" — what a depressing song, though.

Love and peace to all.

Diane

Good early morning, Whitney, can't wait to hug you in person!!!

Thank you Diane, for your lovely comment on our anniversary. Kelli, of course I will hug Grandpa!!
I've been doing that every day for 50 years!!

I again sent our your birthday card, and I didn't get an "undeliverable" message, so maybe you will receive it this time! Ah, lovely 17...enjoy every day!

Timbo, "Sweet Dreams" was the story of Patsy Cline's life, which starred Jessica Lange who did a great job of lip synching most of Patsy's great hits, especially "Crazy." Although Patsy's hits were mostly western songs, I loved her treatment of the classics, "Always" by Irving Berlin, and "You Belong to Me"...perfect for any wedding anniversary!

I usually don't comment on the pros and cons of Mr. Bush's presidency. However, I will say a decision to go to war, as soon as next week, will chill everyone's heart, for besides the dangers to our young men and women at the front, there is the personal fear for our large family in Israel.

Our eldest daughter, Paula, and her husband have lived in Israel for 27 years, have 9 children, 3 married, and have 2 grandchildren.

When I speak to daughter, and express our anxiety, she says, "Mom, we are in Hashem's (God's) hands, and we will be okay...our gas masks
are still in the basement, so don't worry so much!" Gas masks? Don't worry? That could blow anyone's mind...in the meantime, Ellie and I gotta keep singin', gotta keep prayin'...

Love to you all, and thinking of you Paul, and Timbo!

Grandma

Grandma & Whitney, I'm so excited for you!!!! and so envious too!!!! and I do want to hear every single detail about your visit, the shows and all. :-) I'll be there in spirit moving all about the stage taking in every single angle possible, trying not to trip any of the actors, of course--you get the idea. And Whitney, will you take a walk on the beach for me? I so miss the sounds, smells and sights of the ocean.
Grandma, Paula is right that it is in god's hand and that we will be okay and/or deal with what comes all our ways, but I understand your concerns and worries as well. Happy One Day Before the Golden Anniversary Celebration!!! I hope you've started celebrating, I'll have either a beer or wine in your & Elliot's honor tonight and tell him to give you an extra hug today on my behalf and give him another one today for me and I'll see what I'll think up between now and tomorrow in terms of how I will celebrate/serenade you tomorrow on your most wonderful, beautiful, exciting accomplishment!

So Paul how did it go in Sydney today?

Have a lovely day all of you!
Love,
Evelyn

Grandma Millie I hope you and Ellie have the most wonderful anniversary, the kind that 50 years deserves. Whitney enjoy your visit!

Hoping for sunshine in PA.
Innussiq

Happy 50th Anniversary, Grandma (& Grandpa) Millie.
...Your current post was sobering considering the potential impacts next week could have on Israel, as well. I'm sure many of us here (at PC) will be sure to remember your family in our thoughts, prayers to keep them safe (and everyone over in that part of the world). Meanwhile, hoping you and Whitney will have a lovely visit and enjoy the show!

Morning Inn! TGIF! Had dinner w/sis lst nt so the weird week had a nicer end. Is your car better now? Sending you and yours warm Springy thoughts to help combat the EternalWinter over there!!!!
Going snowboarding this weekend. One of our last weeks of snow I think! I'd better NOT break anything either, cuz Tango 1 is on 3/16. (I've also been researching the Seattle/Bellevue/Portland tango scene online. Lots of good resources). I was too late in signing up for Cuban Salsa. Session had been underway for over a month.
Oh well...sometimes the universe sends you what you need, not what you want, right? Found shoes...lawdy! Canna b'lieve what they go for! *fans self* And if I can just stay alive while towering above everyone (3.5 inch heel)..let alone moving in them, and avoid piercing my partners to badly at first...I'll be happy (and so will they!) to start with. I think the biggest trick will be navigating and descending stairs several flights. *yikes* That seems dangerous. Have yourself a great day, grrrl! TGIF.

:) Katalina

Grandma Millie...Sending you and Elliott big hugs as you celebrate your 50TH! I hope you are planning something wonderful to mark this joyous occasion. I know you will enjoy your visit from Whitney.

Love, Linda

Good morning Millie! Good morning PC pals!
We've become such a large family that it's not easy to list every name!

Thanks for all the well wishes for my trip to Grandma's. We'll have a blast I'm sure. Meeting Millie and Elliot in person, seeing the show; it doesn't get any better. I know of one thing that would come very close and that would be meeting Paul and his family and catching him in what I'm sure will be his new show. I hope they have some alternate solution for the end, or I'll have to avert my eyes!

Cat, before I forget, the links to your fan site are broken on Google. I never knew there were so many "Paul's Corner's", but the one that matters can't be visited through those existing links. I've heard there's a way to redirect people in these instances.

Love, peace and a wonderful day to all.
Whitney

ps
Just in case this would help in any way I'm posting something sent to me by a friend. Cat if this is something I can't put up here, feel free to take it down:

Use Your Veto!
3300 e-mails sent in first 48 hours! Keep it up!! Forward to everone you
can think of!
The United States is pushing for a vote next week that will authorize
the use of force in Iraq. France, China, and Russia have the power to
Veto and block UN Authorization for war. Just fill out the following
form and click on the send e-mail button and all 3 countries will
receive an e-mail letting them know that we support a veto.
http://www.voice4change.org/stories/mailVeto.asp

Keep Saying No! To New Iraq Resolution.
(Over 7000 E-mails sent so far!)
Send an E-mail to all 15 Security Council Members!
http://www.voice4change.org/stories/mailUN.asp

Last Monday the United States and the United Kingdom presented a
resolution to the UN authorizing force against Iraq. A misconception out
there says that a second resolution would eliminate the massive
opposition to the war. Send a message to the UN Security Council; let
them know that you oppose war with Iraq even if the United Nations
authorizes it.

To all you beautiful young people with your best wishes on our 50th Anniversary:

Elliott and I wish to thank you all...yes, we feel very blessed to reach this point in our lives. We don't know where the years went, but they're gone, and we're still here, and enjoying the moment!

Tomorrow we will be going out to an anniversary dinner with Ellie's 96 year old aunt, who wants to treat us. Then, later in the week, after the show is finally over, we will be honored by friends on into the month of March.

I just got a call from one of our daughters from Connecticut, and she and her family are coming down the end of next week! They will be staying a short time at a hotel on the beach, and she invited Whitney and us for brunch or dinner, so bring your hot weather clothes, Whitney...can't wait!

The full dress rehearsal was this morning..the full treatment, with costumes, makeup, lights, sound, curtain and band...it was so gratifying, I am flying with joy..almost beyond belief, but I knew that the cast would rise to the occasion!

The woman that sings "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps", was dressed in a completely sequined black jumpsuit, and she was so seductively beautiful, with that Latin beat...I was so elated that that number turned out so well...

We haven't heard from Paul..we're waiting, and good news will only add to the exuberance of our
special day!

Again, thank you for all your good wishes. We love you all madly!

Grandma Millie and Grandpa Ellie

grandma and elliot: congratulations isn't a big enough word. i'd be lucky to hit 50 days at this point, so i am inspired and awed by your commitment and love. cheers to you.

whitney, enjoy your trip. maybe we can see pictures upon your return???

have a good weekend everyone.

Gran Millie,
Sincerest congratulations and best wishes for your 50 year anniversary. I think it's both extraordinary and wonderful.

Whitney,
Perhaps this may be a consoling thought regarding the impending war: Paradoxically, it could well prove that an effective way to avoid a war (now AND future) is to use the threat of war itself, especially if presenting an apparently undeterable and overwhelming threat. How else do you trick a bully into submission?
P.S. I can't imagine any sane person on this planet (including me - if I still fall into that category!) that would in any way welcome war, but it's likely to be counterproductive offering the adversary any form of moral consolation. Sucks either way doesn't it?

Peace.

Peter

Grandma and Grandpa- I wish u the happiest Aniversary! Its really something to say that you've been married for 50 yrs and it shows so much about your character as the wonderful people u are!!! best wishes

Paul, Good luck! and have a good week!

Love to all
Kelli

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Hugznkicks,
Katalina

You have a great weekend yourself Katalina! And everyone else as well.

Best wishes to you Grandma Millie and Grandpa Elliot! Are you going out for chicken wings? Have lots of fun with Whitney and take pictures!
It sounds like your show will be a smash!

Just wanted to say hey to everyone and hope all is well in your part of the world. This war is just so depressing. I must keep the Desiderata in mind and strive to be happy!

Lots of love,
Michelle in Chicago

Auntie Mil
You and Elliott have a wonderful 50th. That is truly awesome and inspiring for those of us in our "teens" in the marriage world.
Chookas
Tim

Hiya Michelle! Hope you're beating the frigid weather out there!
Found some interesting Peace slogans. Some in today's Seattle PI and others emailed to me from some friends of mine...

Hey Bush, stop wiping your Ashcroft with our constitution.

Frodo failed, Bush has the Ring.

We can bomb Iraq to pieces, but not to Peace.

Use Force of Law not Law of Force.

War doesn't prove who's Right, only who's Left.

Why do his reasons for war keep shifting?

War begins with Dubya.

Let's bomb Texas, they have oil too.

How did our oil get under their sand?

Bush mis-underestimated us.

If you can't pronouce it, don't bomb it.

Sacrifice our SUV's not our children.

No George, I said Mac attack.

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind - Ghandi.

Let Exxon send their own troops.

Bush is to Christianity as Osama is to Islam.

A picture of Bush saying, "Why should I care what the American people think? They didn't vote for me."

Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

America's problems won't be solved in Iraq.

War is sweet to those who haven't tasted it. - Erasmus

Picture of the Peace Symbol, back by popular demand.

Ok...there are tons of others, but thought these were interesting. Hope they won't offend some.

Hugz n well wishes to all in PC. Warm wishes to Paul and family too.

Katalina

HAPPY 50TH ANNIVERSARY TO GRANDMA MILLIE AND HER ELLIOT!!!!! As I'm so fond of saying, "My how time flies when you're having fun" and I'll just bet you two have had a lot of fun in your 50 years together.
You have the right to celebrate all month, anniversaries are a lot like birthdays they only come around once a year and we should celebrate as long as we want.
Paul it is 6:30 here in Texas what kind of news do you have for us. We are anxiously waiting.
Katylin: 3 1/2 inch heels on shoes, I think not.
Bad back, got rid of anything over 1 1/2 many years ago. I learned to dance in western boots, no need to worry about toes there.
Whitney: enjoy your trip to Grandma Millie's show and the visit. I think it just wonderful that your mom was so gracious with the tickets for the flight.
To the rest of the PC posters, a prayer for peace in the middle east is definitely on everyones list but I don't think that GWB is listening. I have my own thoughts on the whole matter and will keep them to myself. My MIL seems to think that I'm inflamed when I speak about such issues and you all have been too good to me to inflame you with my ideals.
Keep the peace ( and duct tape and plastic too).
Hugs all around,
Sherrlyn

Hi back Sherrylin. I agree...I'd much rather be in boots w/heels too. (used to go the Wild Wild West in Tucson to dance *grinn*)But, oh well...a new style to learn and play with and a new sub-world of dance since tango community is so interesting worldwide...so many sites, clubs, teachers, practicas. I am feeling overwhelmed already and have not even truly begun.
Baby steps for me I think so as not to get discouraged.
Have a nice weekend!
Hugz,
:) Katalina

Hey Sherrlyn, I can take the heat. Speak out if the spirit moves you!

Love the slogans Katalina! I'm printing them out to share with my guys.

My husband is on his way with pot stickers and sesame chicken, mmmmmmmmmm. And beer!

All is well,
Michelle in Chicago

I'm with Michelle. Sing out Sherrlyn. It sounds like we all hold the same view anyway, at least those of us who expressed one. And I think it's safe to express alternative views at PC.

It was cool of my mother to buy my ticket. I had just enough left from my tax return (after catching up on utilities) to buy a ticket myself, but asked my mother first because I owe her so much money (she insists on keeping health insurance on me in case I'm in a car accident). I won't feel like any of it's mine until the day I'm totally independent and she won't either.

She gave me some sad news tonight and I wouldn't dump it on you guys if I didn't so badly need someone to express my frustration too. Skip the rest of this post if you aren't up to it.

It seems that my grandfather's children (he was my step-grandfather) aren't going to honor his wish that his home be given to the church. They intend to sell it and split the money amongst themselves. I asked my mother if she would help me buy it the way her mother helped her buy her home and the way she helped my sister buy hers, but she said no because I don't make enough money teaching.

My sister worked for my mother as her manager and a groomer at her boarding and grooming kennel, but after Kim died I offered to groom and Mother told me that she didn't want me to work for her because having worked with one daughter was enough. She would ask me to bath and dry dogs on the holidays or when someone quite her (it's a hard job with a high turn over rate and she can be very unkind) and I did so for years, but had to stop last year because my back was so bad and leaning over a bath tub is the worst thing you can do for what ails me.

Now her excuse for not helping me is not just my lack of monetary value, she just told me over the phone that I refused to work for her all along. It's like she's living in a dream world.

For most of my life she's been prone to exageration (which I wouldn't back up, but didn't bust her on) and over-drinking. For a long time she's told me she can't remember any of the stories I tell her about the things we did growing up. It's like I never existed.

If I was married things would be so different, but unlike my sister, I won't marry just to reap the financial benefits (Kim actually told me she married because she knew my mother would treat her better and help her with money). She married four times before the age of 29 and was divorcing the second husband for the second time (there was a husband in-between), when she died in a car wreck. Because she died before she could get rid of her loser husband, my mother allowed him to keep the house and though he is often unemployed and can't make the payments, she carries him. I guess that's why she won't help me. She supports this stranger.

He has continued to plaque my family with his presence as well as that of his wife (the woman he was sleeping with when my sister died) and their kids. I have tolerated it because my step-dad liked him and he did the work at their farm that I was unable to do: a bad back and no husband to help me. Now they're promising to give them land and even talked about helping them build a cabin while I've spent the last 12 years living in two rooms and a bathroom trying to get back to the country.

When I tried to talk to my step-father about how I felt, he got verbaly abusive and even brought up and incident from my childhood where our horse got hit and killed by a car. He told me it was my fault. You can imagine the mentality I'm dealing with; that incident had nothing to do with the conversation.

Well, I've bitched enough and I appreciate having a place to do so. If no one comments on this rant, that's ok. I just had to get this off my mind; I can't sleep thinking about it and I have no one to talk to. Forgive me.

Love,
Whitney

Whitney: So sorry to hear of you woes with family, they can be most exasperating at times. I think sometimes it's really too bad we can't choose our family like we do our friends. I guess that is God's first test for us. Huh!!!
Equally sorry to hear that your grandfather's wishes aren't being carried out. Was giving the house to the church in his will or did he leave one. We have clients who are taking over the mother's estate and pretty much ignoring the will, I've read the will and it was very badly written to begin with so don't know if a court battle would be worth what the other kids will get out of it. The biggest fight is over the way the farm land and income from it is going to be split.
I really dread the day when something has to be done with the property that my father has purchased over the last few years. My brother just younger than I and myself have agreed that the land should be given to the baby brother(39) who still lives at home and does most of the farming now because of dad's health. But no one seems to know if dad has a will, even mom isn't sure what he has done.
But I hope your trip to FLORIDA will help get your mind off things at home at least for a little while. Hang in there, and as Paul always tells us vent whenever you need.
Have a good weekend, remember what goes around comes around.
Hugs to all,
Sherrlyn

Whitney, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us about your situation. I don't have many words of wisdom for you tonight. When I read "prone to exaggeration' in the same sentence as "over-drinking", I have to say that they're linked. For whatever reason(s), your mother may never be able to give you the constancy and love you need and deserve and that's not your fault. Your stepfather, apparently, is also incapable of nurturing you. It can be tough, but you'll need to give yourself the things they cannot offer. In the long run, though, you'll be the stronger person for it.
I wish you well.

Sweet dreams to you all!

Diane

Happy 50th Anniversary Grandma!!!!
I can't wait to wish you that in person!

Thank you Sherrlyn and Diane. I appreciate that you read that long story and understood. I was finally able to go to sleep after that post.

My grandfather put his home in a trust that was handled by his eldest son and, I think, his other two children as well. It was meant to protect the home for the church against estate taxes and the possibility of losing it to the government if he went into a nursing home. I didn't know about this until a couple of years ago when I asked Paw Paw about the possibility of buying the house. He said he couldn't sell it to me because there was no way he would go back on his promise to the church. He was adament and wouldn't even sell me the empty lot next door. He thought his house could be used as a pastor's home and he didn't want to spoil the view from the kitchen window.

It was initially hard to accept, but I decided that if the home had been intended for me it would have been mine. I did my part by asking.

The current pastor has a new home, so I was hoping that this one could be used to house foreign students studying at out local university (without imposing a belief system on them) or even be used as a battered family shelter (there's a lot of domestic violence against women and children in WV)

My mother gave me the news as if she was just under the impression that this was happening, but that's just her way of telling me, without telling me. I never thought his kids would do this to him! He would be outraged!

The church knows about his promise. A very good lawyer is a member and was a family friend of my grandfather's. At the viewing, as he was leaving, he told me to call him. I haven't yet, but I was hoping he wanted to talk about plans for the property. I would enjoy having input in what it becomes. I plan to speak to him as he requested. Maybe he can find a way to fullfill Paw Paw's wishes.

On a happier note, I can't wait to go to FL and meet Millie and Elliot in person. This'll be only the fourth time this hillbilly's been on an airplane! I've got lots of preparing to do.

Be well and have a great day!
Love,
Whitney

I was just rereading what you wrote Diane. It's sad, but true. My mother is so different from her mother. I wouldn't be Whitney if it hadn't been for the real love of my grandmother: Dorothy Osburn.

Dear Grandma and Grandpa!

Today is the big day and I'm so very excited and happy for you! Congratulations on your Golden Anniversary!!! Enjoy your dinner with Aunt Sarah! and let me add something to Tim's post, you are not only an inspiration to those who are in their marriage teens (as Tim put it) but also to those who aren't married at all. Go celebrate!!!--lots! If not I'll have to do it for you .... hmmm, actually I'm already doing that :)

Whitney, I will respond to your post soon, but I'm so sorry about the conflicts you are experienceing in your family and that they don't see you for the beautiful, loving and supportive person that you truly are. Here's a hug to you to cheer you up a bit!

Lots of love to everyone else,
Evelyn

Hello All and My dear Katalina. Well, it's going to take 500$ to fix my car, I broke my finger last night on the way into work (lost a few layers of skin as a bonus), I had to do inventory til 3am. So, I can hardly walk today. I suppose I haven't learned my lesson yet. Hopefully soon. Boy, I sure do need a vacation. love to all.
Inn

I just read my last post and I'd like to say sorry for that awful whining.

Sorry about your finger and your car, Innussiq. I didn't hear any whining, just expression of frustrations. And even if you did whine, I wouldn't complain. I just hope you recover quickly and that you can get your car fixed soon.

Me too Inn. That sucks about broken bone, skin and inability to walk comfortably. Evelyn and I were just discussing how much we begin to appreciate our digits once we lose the painfree use of them.

It's a beautiful day in WV and it's past time for me to get out in it. Hugs and butt kicks all around. Let's start a chant for Paul: Success in Sidney, Success in Sidney......

Love,
Whit

Hey Guys...Sorry to hear about all the woes... I hate to add to the list, but I got "the letter" today. We thank you for your time BUT...
Ah go to hell...
Anyways..Katalina I loved your post. Those were great listings.
I sure as hell hope Paul gets this gig. I want to see him in it. I'd love a movie, but I'd really like to see something on stage. Just hope I have enough time to save for the flight.
Auntie Mil...CONGRATS...half a century What love that must be...you should write a book even a short story and hell post it here. 50 Chapters. What made each year special and what made each year a challenge. I think it'd be great.
Love to you all...my friends and mates.
Paul can't wait to hear from you.

Tim

ouch Inn! oooh sweetie! I'm sorry about your finger. do you have it splinted? how on earth did you do this? my mom broke her little finger while sitting down once(i think she sat on it..) anyway..she laughs about it, but it can't straighten out now (perfect for teatime)...a memory of her embarrassing moment, she says. poor poor Inn.

And, to Whitney, I'm sorry you're going through such family non-support with this and your grandfather's wishes and with your Mom refusing to help you out, while helping others beside you.
It's not fair..but as Diane pointed out, it could make you a stronger person having to do things on your own without having others holding maybe conditional help/aid over one's head (hidden strings)...and to feel the pride and strength in being self sufficient. I am speaking from personal experience. It's not fun being compared to other siblings or to have such favoritism displayed to others except you. But....as one who didn't get much nurturing from her family while young, I selected good friends and activities to provide this for me, and have learned how to become a good nurturer and provider myself (for others). I may not have much (materialistically) to offer, but I can offer that, no matter where my finances stand, or how big of a home/apt I may be living in. Home is where the heart is and your friends are welcome in, right?
I hope that lawyer can help you honor your PawPaw's wishes. That would be nice. It's sad to hear about the family not respecting that. It's nice that you're so thoughtful and caring 'tho. :)

Hugz to you and to all here at PC today/tonight.

Katalina

Howz our Paul doing, I wonder?.....

Katalina

I'm off to Beso del Sol tonight for a little Salsa.
Just finished a workout and I'm not as out of it
as I was last week...still have energy and want to go burn it up!
Hope all here has a lovely rest of the weekend!

Besitas (teeny kisses),
Katalina

What soothing, wise words from you Katalina. I agree that Diane is right; this should make me stronger. However, if I want to succeed in my field I may have to get even more education. Sculpture isn't an easy field to break into. Like everything else, you have to have connections, but I also need to be in a more art friendly atmosphere and meet people who really value art.

Dear Tim, I didn't want to say it earlier, but did you really want that job? I know you needed it, but there has to be another opportunity lurking behind some door. I realize the needs of a family make it very difficult to pursue your real dreams, but are you serious about how far you wanted to go with the cosmotology thing? Are you more interested in the screenwriting? Are there any doors you haven't knocked on? I'm guessing the CPA career is for the money and I don't blame you for trying to get the most cash for your time. Don't give up. There's a reason for everything. It's corny, but I believe it.

Good night to everyone.
Good night Millie.
Love,
Whitney

Hi dear Whitney. I think I spoke out of turn there. Not wise, & not understanding the context, which you cleared up.
As an artist, you have learned to develop interrelationships with others who could help market, develop, promote you & your work, and of course this must translate into other relationships as well. I just felt bad that you felt unhappy with your situation about not being helped by your Mom. I empathize this feeling completely. Maybe things will turn out well in a little time. But, I still think that planning to do it as if you were without support is always a good idea, and so if and when it does come, it is a bonus. That way you are covered.

Know what? I had a Papa..kinda sounds like PawPaw.
He was my mother's father and for some reason, I was the apple of his eye. If it weren't for his love, I don't know where I'd be today, or how I'd feel about myself. He helped brighten my world and make me feel incredibly important to someone. That sounds sad, pathetic, i know...but from a child who was in a not so lovely home environment/situation at the time, it was impacting, special.

Years later, I am grateful. My world, my life is very good and I thank him as one of my life teachers/nurturers/shapers and as a blessing never to be forgotten.

I think your PawPaw must have been happy to have had such a caring grandaughter and will watch over you with love and happiness.

Hugz,
Katalina

Whitney...I am interested in your sculpture. I am always on the look out for potential finds for clients. I had a great time at the SOFA exhibit in Chicago last October. Friends had invited me to attend and I did not even know what this was all about! It was wonderful! All that creativity. They debuted a film on the life of Ruth Duckworth and she had some pieces in the show. She is marvelous. Do you have a portfolio? Do you have things already completed or do you work by special commission? Let me know.

Hugs to all those who need them!

Linda

Hello everyone!! My name is Marnina Patrick, I am 22 years old, from the NW burbs of Chicago and to say the least, I am stunned. I saw Strictly Ballroom for the first time in 8th grade. It was for Spanish class and the next day we went on a field trip to see some latin dancing. Seven years later, in preperation for a snow storm, I was at Blockbuster and my eyes just happened to fall on Strictly Ballroom. When I got in the car, my fiancee groaned when I told him the title. "what's that about, dancing?" "Yes, Eric, it's good. You'll like it."
Just like it did the first time, the movie and Paul's performance captured my heart and moved me to tears. Eric said he liked it and I was very happy. The next morning, the first thing out of his sleepy mouth was, "that movie was so good. I want to see you dance like that. I want to dance with you. Let's take a class." My mouth dropped open because the first time I suggested we take a class together, his replay left much to be desired. So thank you Paul. Thank you for showing Eric that dancing is in no way sissy. Thank yo for sparking something inside of him. Thank you for opening a new door in our relationship.
I started dance lessons when I was 4 and when my teacher moved to California, I was 11. The next year I took at a very different type of school and for the first time it seemed I could go somewhere with dancing. Maybe a career? I was so ambitious then. Sadly, even with my first job at a pet store, there was not enough extra income to afford the lessons and I was needed to watch my sister. Typical story I guess. Single mom who was working and going to school. No time for childish ambition for being a dancer. So I grew bitter and the tomboy in me took over. I worked hard, played soccer in high school and watched the girls in Orchesis perform with that tight feeling in my heart. As time went on, I could've taken some classes but to this day, I don't know why I didn't. I think maybe I associated dance with that childhood that seemed oh so short and I just felt it was too late. Today is a new day though and with every passing second, the dancer in me stirs. Oh, yes I dance when alone. I dance like a maniac and I feel so alive. I want to perform again! I want to be on a stage moving in ways some people see as impossible! So after watching Strictly Ballroom, everything I had been feeling was confirmed. I did the math and with my new job I will be able to afford some lessons. Eric has actually taken an interest in something I have a passion for and I am very, very happy!
I had gone online to learn a little more about Paul Mercurio. I never ever in my wildest dreams expected to find all of this! It's just amazing! I just now clicked on the comment section and couldn't believe the community you guys have going here! I hope you all accept me with open arms because I will be checking this out every day. You all seem like such wonderful people with so much to share and Paul! Just that he is a part of all of this, that this IS Paul's Corner, not just a clever name, well....I am stunned. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Oh and my version of easy? Easy is doing what I've been doing. Easy is wanting to do different. Easy is talking about new things. Hard is doing it. Hard is going out on a limb and trying new things. Hard is growing up and accepting the responsibilities that come with it. Easy is living in the past. Easy is holding grudges. Hard is letting go and forgiving. I am 22 and I am just starting to live. I am just starting to have a relationship with my Dad. I am ready for Hard. I am ready to make my life mine. I am ready to make MYSELF proud. Wow, where did that all come from?!? Hope I didn't say too much. I guess I just have a lot bottled up inside. So thank you again for having this so I could ramble my thoughts off. Take care everyone and of course my thoughts are with Paul. He will do well and I look forward to hearing about it. Good night. Marnina

you're at the right place marnina! we do some pretty good rambling around here!

gotta go with whit on this timmer - lotza posts from you on how you hated that kind of work! your attitude is perfect with your "ah, go to hell!" - Keep it!

later all

Welcome, Marnina! You express yourself so beautifully. Good for you and good for Eric. We'll be cheering you on.

Tim, I think Whitney and bluedog are on to something. Maybe the universe wants something more for you. Maybe it's time for you to create something new out of your many talents. At a time when we're all up against a the wall financially, I'll meditate on money falling from the heavens to ease our woes and allow us to help others.

Goodnight, All.

Welcome Marnina, I don't think it's possible to ramble too much in this context. Enjoy your dance classes, I have yet to wait a bit longer before I can afford them.

Tim, I'm so sorry about the outcome of the interview. That sting of dissapointment is uncomfortable, I know, I've had that a gazillion times too many over the past 3 months, but the door will open when you end up on the path you are meant to walk on. Keep knocking on the doors you can find and think are linked to the path you want to be on. To confess, I had similar thoughts that Whitney already expressed ... but only you know what sacrifices/compromises you have to make at this point in time of your life.

Diane, that is a beautiful meditation!!! I will include it in my next meditation or something similar. Hmmm, I really haven't meditated all that much latetly about my own job search and what I want my job and professional environment to be like. I only drew my frustration on paper a while back and it felt good, I particularly like the door on which I wrote the words "Do not enter!" and also added iron cross bars on it. Kind of wondering which job that corresponds to. :)

Tim, did you finish your script? or where is it at? I took my dissertation to a copy shop last night for duplicating and binding. On Monday it's going to my examining committee. It is out of my hands now and it feels good to finally have let got. I've also scheduled my final exam so the end is in sight. Yippee!

Dhiana, please do a few back flips on my behalf!!! I did it and thanks for getting on my case last summer to "just finish the darn thing." I really needed that at that time and you left enough of an impression in my mind that every time I felt unmotivated you made an appearance in my mind, kicking me hard enough to keep working.

Inn, sorry about your finger. I sympathize!!! though I didn't break mine, I think mine is mostly a soft tissue injury in two joints. I hope that you heal very fast and fully! and sorry about your car. What happened? I have a feeling that you already answered this and that I missed it in my fast reading this week of earlier posts. I'll go back and look at it.

good morning grandma & sis!

Have a great Sunday everyone!
Evelyn

Good morning Grandma!

I'm thankful that you had your Papa, Katalina. It sounds like he really loved you and he was a kind person. That doesn't sound sad or pathetic to me. It sounds like a gift from the Cosmos to someone who deserved and appreciated it. I'm sure you gave him as much joy in return.

That's great that you got into the Chicago art scene Linda. I just missed their pier sculpture show (I'm not sure what it's called) when I was there a few years ago. Unfortunately, we were in town on the only day that galleries are closed: Monday. We did get to walk around and look though. I slipped a couple of CDs I'd brought showing some jpegs of my work. I looked up galleries that I thought would like my style and one of them was Richard or Robert Grey (can't remember). I laughed later when I found out he only represented the big artists. Chicago seemed to be trying to have an art area much like New York. Very nice.

If you click on my name, it should take you to a Web site that shows pictures of my work. I need to work on the site. You won't see dimensions, but everything is pretty small.

It's kind of you to show an interest. If I had an outlet, I would make more. I'm also checking into local access to a machine that can scan an original form and output a copy of it on varying scales. Wouldn't that be cool! It's so hard for me to let go of the original. I'm interested in commissions if an opportunity arises. Thanks Linda!

Marnina welcome!! 22 is still so young. You have lots of dancing ahead of you and a partner to dance with. You are a luck, lucky young woman.

Tim, this is long and tedious:71 questions. I thnk you know what you want to do, but just in case you want to access your interests, here's a site that provides an insightful quiz:
Here's an address:

http://www.assessment.com/MAPPMembers/Welcome.asp?accnum=06-5570-000.00

I think that's correct. I too am sorry you had to feel the sinking sensation of rejection. I know it hurts even when you don't really love the idea of doing the job.

Good morning Evelyn. Wow! This board has given me a grandmother and a sister and I really need them. This is a wonderful corner! I'm glad Marnina found her way here.

My dog can't wait any longer and I'm beginning to feel that I'm neglecting him so I'll check back later if possible.

Love,
Whitney

Morning/afternoon/eve all

Hi to Marnina! Good for you on following your dreams in your dancing again. I think Paul has been a good catalyst (to get us moving: hence the "kicks" to get us going and DOING it, not just thinking about it or talking about it) in dance or our other artistic or professional talents for many of us here as a good example both the way he comes through onscreen and in life..as you put it doing the Hard things, going after things that give your life meaning, while at the same time not shirking being a grownup and embracing the responsibilities too.
You do express yourself beautifully, I agree! Welcome from another newbie. (BTW: these folks in PC are very nice, you'll enjoy them).

Morning Inn - howz de finger doing? Taking Advil? getting smooches from your kids? Hope you're getting pampered a little! *grin* I've got sore tootsies from lst nt. Got in at 3am. I haven't done that since almost a decade ago. With my job I must be up and about at 5am to be there by 8. Commute is hell, of course, 30 min away-- a bit more if there's traffic. Yuk...So, I'm used to going to bed at an early hour. Usually by 10pm. This morning is unbelievable. I feel like a vampire and I'm wearing my hair horns, yes, it's sticking up. Thank goodness no one else can see. I don't know if I can build up to this kind of stamina or regimen on a regular basis. But if I'm to improve (my salsa) I must try at least once a week or so. Next time I'll try a nap mid day before going. I have to say, microwaved coffee tastes TERRIBLE. Yuk, bleh. Time to go make more. Hope you have a great day, m'dear. Has the snow let up for you out there? We had great snow in our mtns yesterday. I went boarding up at one of our better places (Steven's Pass) and it was fairly good. I didn't fall too much either, so I must be getting better. But the little ones far outshone me & most of the other adults. They're so lucky. They don't have as far to fall. Plus they giggle & bounce right back up like Weebles(those toy people that you push over and pop right back up, you cannot knock them over) and are impervious to pain. Amaaaazing! Remember when we used to be like that? I canna remember anymore....must be a dream.

PST Morning Whitney, Grandma Millie, Grandpa Ellie, Hi Diane, Hi Sherrlyn, Hi bluedog, Hi Tim, Peter, Paul & family, Evelyn, Michelle in Chicago, Michelle in N.S. and anyone else I forgot.

Hugz,
Katalina

Oh, my darling Whitney, now I know what half of you looks like when we meet at the airport on Wednesday! You remind me of a movie star..is it Tara Morice, or Demi Moore, or.....??? Your web site is beautiful already, and when finished will be outstanding.

Grandpa and I went grocery shopping this morning, trying to imagine what you would enjoy eating while here...we forgot that we will be dining at restaurants while still being feted by our friends, so it's probably just breakfast and a fast lunch here.

Again, thank you, everyone, on your warm and loving wishes on our 50th wedding anniversary. It was indeed memorable, and not a chicken wing to be seen!

Tomorrow morning is our first performance of "Follies" in the morning, for 200 invited guests...am I nervous? No, just very excited, like a kid! I will let everyone know how this first performance was received!

Have a great rest of the day, and welcome, new people on the site...if any of you new folks need an extra grandmother and grandfather, just let us know. We still have inquiring minds, are involved in show biz, and and think that Strictly
Ballroom in DVD is this century's finest musical/drama/dance classic because of Paul Mercurio.

Love to all,

Grandma

Katalina, I confess to envy on the snow boarding adventure. I've wanted to do that for some time, but haven't yet. I skied once in high school. I basically snowplowed the whole time and never got the hang of traversing as opposed to going straight down the intermediate slope. Of course the toddlers were fearlessly flying by me with arms in the air. I like to think some lessons would have helped.

I'd also like to surf. I know a young girl who lives in the hills of WV who goes to FL every summer to teach surfing. I so admire that courage. Maybe Millie and Elliot will take me surfing;) Just kidding Grandma!

Millie, don't fret too much about food. It's very low on my list of priorities. I draw the line at spam and other lunch meats, but other than that, I'm pretty open minded.

Thank you for the compliment on my site Millie. I have a grant pending to pay a friend, who does sites for a living, to help me update mine in a big way as well as take more pictures of my work. He's help me for free, but he has to use a large portion of his time to make money. Since I had a chance at getting some cash to pay him, I went for it. Of course I won't find anything out till next year. I'm going to his house today and he's going to help me apply for another grant while I can still say I have a Guggenheim felowship pending. It looks good.

It's 1:17. I'd better get to work: more laundry. Everyone have a nice afternoon. We deserve it!

Love,
whitney

p.s. I'm with you on the microwaved coffee Katalina. Still, it's better than instant! I wish I could see those hair horns. Talk about bed head!!!

NO time, NO time, NO DAMN TIME!
Hi all at PC. Just want to say how much I admire your support of each other. Also, your an incredibly talented, open-minded and caring cross-section of individuals ('spose that's obvious). And your real.
Stay well, one and all.

Pete.

Hello again everyone. Today was my last day of real leisure before I start my new job tomorrow. I am the Queen of odd jobs but I think I found one that may hold real substance and I am very excited. I spent a lot of time reading through the archives and printing most out. It's truly entertaining how intrigued my cat, Tabitha, is over the printer. Such simple pleasures! Luckily I read fast because I can't wait to read through all of your lives...is that an approriate word? Everybody seems to just lay it all out and I do sort of feel like a peeping tom or something! Paul is really amazing and I was able to draw something from everything he has written. I am positive that will be the same with all of your words.

Thank you to everyone that replied. Reading what you wrote to me really brightened up my morning.

Bluedog. Yes, I feel I have found the right place! I have always gone online to either fact check or find car parts. Most recently, keeping in touch with my scattered family. Mom and sis with new husband in Wahsington. Aunt in Florida. Uncle in way southern Illinois. Grandparents in New Mexico. To think just a few years ago we all were within 5 miles of eachother! Email is a blessing! I am on a few mailing lists but they are all car related. This is gonna be the first time I have reached out to people on here!

Diane- Thank you for your kind words and support. More power to you and hopefully money does fall from the skies!!
Evelyn-Hopefully soon you can take lessons, too. I will have to wait till I get a few paychecks in the bank before I sign myself up. Also, I need to get back into shape before I discourage myself on my first day. When the time comes, I am going to take advantage of the good prices at the Park District just so I can learn the basics again. They also have a latin and swing class for couples!
Whitney- If Eric does get into it, then Yes, I will be very lucky. I have never danced with a partner before and I know there will have to be a connection of some sort. I would prefer that is with Eric. Alas, he is an auto technician and everyday comes home with aching joints and pains in his feet from standing on cold concrete. He used to race downhill mountain bikes so when the weather warms up, we are going to start biking again. That should do wonders for his body! I have never even seen him dance! A few times I got him to swing his hips a little and I can see he is able to move fluidly. I will laugh though. Loving laughter! He is about 5'11 and only weighs 135 lbs!! All bone and tight muscle, not an ounce of fat and he mostly eats cookies and candy! If I didn't know how strong and flexible he is, I would think he would crack in half! He would do great in ballet with all the leaps and jumps. He has unusual tendons behind the knees and they are so tight strung, I think that has something to do with how high he can jump. Like a grasshopper!
Katalina- Yes Paul is a wonderful person to set examples with his professional and personnal life experiences. I printed his words out so I can read them on my lunch breaks. I know if I brought one of my books, I would get so caught up I would lose track of time or worse, be so distracted because I didn't finish the chapter! My imagination allows me to get very caught up in what I read and I live the story in my mind. I laugh outloud, cry and curse sometimes. I think I should avoid that around new people in a strange cafeteria right now. I look forward to warmer weather when I can find a tree to sit under.
Grandma Millie- You sound absolutely wonderful and congratulations on your 50th anniversary. Eric's grandparents just celebrated theirs. We all went bowling and it was a very good time. I miss my grandparents. They were my whole world and when they moved, I was at a complete loss. I finally got past feeling abandoned and am so grateful they are online now. I still drive by their old house every week and find it hard to see my childhood home inhabitated by strangers. I was not happy to see the new people let my G-ma and PoPo's marvelous garden go to ruin. Also, they cut down the cherry tree and the tree that I had carved shelves into. I used to pretend I lived in the forest with all the fairies and elves. Oh well, that's life.

All of you have very interesting lives and I can't wait to learn more about all of you. I will be going to all of your sites and can't wait to see your individual work. I have a lot bubbling up inside of me and it's all artistic in one way or another. I've been a little stunted these past five years I've been with Eric. That is such a long story though. I get to express myself with all the neat custom automotive work we do. I espically love working with fiberglass. Being able to take an old t shirt and turn it into something that produces crazy loud bass. I've branched out and made stuff like a vase and miniture boxes! Eric's dad collects boxes so that's what gave me the idea.
My life has revolved around cars because it's not our hobby, it's our lifestyle. I have put my individual interests on hold though but they are coming to the surface now. We hope to start our own business one day but I've admitted to myself to not count on that. I was going to go to school to learn business and I still might take a few classes. I am going to follow my original love of writing and psychology and anything else I can cram into my brain! I think cause I am older now, I have more of an appreciation for learning and things that I had no interest in before, fascinate me. Like history and geography. When I was in high school all I wanted was out. All I wanted was to work and make money. HA! Where's the money?
Thank you again everyone and I wish all of you well.
Sorry to read about all the frustrating job experiences. Those troubles seem to be everywhere these days. Clear skies are hopefully ahead of us, hopefully. I have had a problem with hope and faith in the past but it's growing stronger in me. Good luck to everyone in all your pursuits. Take care, Marnina

It really doesn't seem that long as I am typing!! =) Oh and I think Pete summed up what I was feeling very well. Bye.

Hi pete! long time no see.
you are right, no time no time...
not enough hrs in a day, right?!
nice to see you again. how're you doing? what's new?

Katalina

Hi Whitney! I just visited your website & left my address and a brief mssg.
Cool site! I like your work very much!

Katalina

with so many talented writers, dancers, artists here...i feel very ordinary and boring.. yikes!
but it's fun to read about it all here!
good luck to all here pursuing such creative endeavors!

Hugz,
Katalina

Hi Katalina,
It's Monday morning. I'm in my office, plugging away at a mountain of work. Not much is new.
I have loads of work to get through. It seems that I've been labouring away for a very long time. It's probably because I have been! (Decades). I'm slowly gaining a strong foothold, though. The summit is in sight.
It's all going to be worth it in about two years, when all my plans come to fruition.
The plan is solid and shaping up extremely well, with the outcome exceeding all of my initial expectations.
It will change my life profoundly and permanently, and I will be able to have a rest...Arhhh (very long sigh)..
The best part is, I've done it without help from anyone (didn't have much choice!) and that makes it all the sweeter.
So, here's a mental message for my exceedingly wealthy (birth)mother who never gave me anything other than grief and one birthday card: FUCK YOU, I can do it by myself.
Yep, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
Oh, I feel better now.
Damn it, spilt my guts again. I hope I haven't offended anyone's sensibilities.

Whitney, a special hello. Damn families huh?
Love and despair all in one package! It's not fair is it?
I briefly checked out your site. I'm truly impressed and envious of your talents. What beautiful work. It must be so very fulfilling.
Tell me, does your lefthand side resemble your right hand side?
How are your workouts going?
I'm buckling down and making a firm comittment of time for exercise. Juggle, juggle...

Tim, sorry about the missed job, but you deserve better. It will come.

HEY PAUL, COME ON, DON'T KEEP US ALL IN SUSPENSE!!

Too much going on to comment on everything.
I'll try to catch up later.

Welcome Marnina.

Pete

Hi all, and I agree that the list is growing too much to list everyone! Welcome Marnina. Thanks to everyone for the kind wishes.
Tim, don't you worry. You keep your attitude and you will find the door for you.
Katlina, I caught my finger in the car door and in a panic I wrenched out. I have a rotation fracture plus the missing skin. The car needs a fuel pump module (read as over priced electronic garbage) which also answers Evelyn's question. I've been getting plenty of kisses from my puppy. My kids just want to watch when I change my bandages. Yucky is cool to them. I remeber when pain was just the burning of a scraped knee, which lasted until your friends came looking for you. Ahh, how I long for the body I had then.
Have a great show Grandma Millie!
Peace,
Inn

Hey Peter! Paul does seem to be making us wait, but I hope that means he just doesn't know yet. I really can't imagine him not scoring this role for so many reasons!

I wish I could have the feeling of independance that you and others speak of Peter. I know it's my own fault. My interest in learning is increased,like Marnina, but I can't seem to get motivated by money. It's probably because my mother has bailed me out so often. And I've let her. Maybe I'm lazy and then maybe it's a deliberate effort to do without (possible, but I doubt it). I'm sorting it out like everyone else.

Can you tell us about your venture at some point? We all love good news!

Katalina, you are so kind. And you can create just by filtering the things you see through your mind and transfering that image or idea to some art medium. Have fun and explore some different materials.

Marnina, be careful about breathing that resin if youre using it with fiberglass cloth or matt. As long as you have ventilation, you can do all sorts of art with that stuff. I think you'd enjoy slip casting ceramics as well. If you're interested I can share info about making vessels from plaster molds. You could have a business doing this stuff. Plaster molds are cheap to make.

I must say I admire someone who isn't intimidated by automotive parts. And you use the web too! Eric is very fortunate to have your help. Maybe dancing will help him relax after what I'm guessing is hard work and you too. It would have to be good for the two of you as partners/friends! Oh and don't worry about long posts. We've all done them and if you need to say something just tell us. I know what you mean about the message seeming short and the post turning out long (like this one).

Grandma must be very busy with her show preperation. Her gig starts early Monday morning. Go Millie!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Whit

Whitney,
The venture I spoke of is in real estate (smaller scale, but profitable). We saw an opportunity that few others could see. I used my skills as a project manager/engineer (I work in cement manufacturing and mining industries, mainly) to put together a professionally documented plan to sell to a bank. They bought it, so I'm using their money.
The long hard toil was necessary to gain the initial equity and earnings cashflow to qualify for a line of credit large enough for the undertaking.
We took a calculated risk on a venture that lots of parties looked at, but nobody was game to follow through. We did (follow through) and everything fell into place for us. If there's one thing I've learnt, it's that there are a lot of different ways to approach the same problem, you just have to identify the one that works best for YOU.
We did, it has.

I don't care for riches either.
The bit more independence that we gain will secure our children's educational opportunities and let me back off from 60+ hour working weeks.
I need a rest. I'm plainly stuffed.

I resist the overly indulgent trappings of wealth, and excess in any form. It's just not me.
My birth mother has all that stuff - A zillion dollar house, a car worth more than our house and loads of jewellery and crap like that.
But, she doesn't have happiness. She just can't buy it.
Wealth comes in different forms, I guess.
I'm glad to be able to say that I know where richness truly lies; not in the bank but in the heart.
Gotta get back to work now so that I can fit in a bike ride this arvo.

Pete

Hi all...
Welcome Marnina(sp?)...so long to go back through and check. This thread is over the 200 mark. Another huge one.
Thanks so much for the support guys. You're right though. I don't want that work, it's just the monetary side of it. At least I do have money still coming in from the salon albeit barely enough to pay for gas (well not that bad) but you get the general idea. I put the script aside for awhile. I wanted to think about it and then print it out and read it again. I've been thinking of some additional stuff to add that I think will add to it. It's still not quite long enough and I didn't want to just "Put" stuff in there. It needs to be meaning ful. In addition to that I'm speaking to REDKEN aboout being a performing artist for them. There's some money in that. I like being on stage. I can't wait for my tap dance show in May. The final choreography is really challenging. There are still some weight changes that I'm just NOT doing well. But hell it's my first year of tap at 42 years old. What the hell huh?
I'm not upset about the interview..I was more scared of getting the job..youknow? It's so not me, but I so desparately need the money...You guys are right there is a door out there that has yet to open for me...but I'm still knockin'
Anxious to hear from Paul.
Aunt Mil...I'm dreamin of your show...I know you're gonna be hot. You'll put a couple of picture on line won't you? One of you lip syncing Patsy...gotta see it. What a hoot...Can't wait to hear the reviews.
Love to all...
Tim

good evening Grandma!

I think you sound very level headed Peter. We can't buy love, but I've seen a lot of friendships that seem to center on it. But are those real friendships? I'm glad your venture adventure went well. There's a lot to be said for that worn out phrase "Think outside the box.". It sounds like that's just what you did.

Tim, it's hard to fake enthusiasm for a job you didn't really want. These people probably knew they were doing you a favor. The Redkin job sounds promising. On the screenwriting, can't you find someone to work with? Is it that you prefer to work alone? I can see how that would be apealing, but it might be easier to get more accomplished in a shorter period of time with a writing pal. I think you'd enjoy the company. You'd almost have to do it online in order to work around your schedule. I'll bet there are a million screenwriting boards out there. Have you explored all of this already?

I just got back from watching "Old School". I thought it was pretty darn funny!

Love,
Whitney

Marnina, I forgot to say congratulations on the new job! We're all ears when you're ready to tell us about it.
Love,
Whit

OK, I think I'm finally caught up. So many highs and lows. I'm happy for Whitney and Grandma, and Marnina, and others (y'all weren't kidding about the list getting long!)...I'm a bit disappointed for Tim...I feel for Whitney in her family situation. I feel bad for Evelyn and Inn, having been banged up a bit. Happy to see all the "faces", new and old alike. And like everyone else, waiting expectantly to hear from Paul.

I've been thinking a lot about families, especially since the last few posts from people regarding their own experiences with relatives. We ourselves are such a unique family. And we really are a family, in so many ways. We care about each other, we support each other. We cheer when any one of us succeeds, we feel for any one of us who is struggling, we motivate each other to live up to their potential. But in some ways, we are better than family. For one thing, you can't pick your family. For another thing, you are stuck with them. That really is the great part about this family...we aren't "stuck"...we CHOOSE to be right where we are. We choose to love and accept each other, as is, whether we agree with them all the time or not. And when we do happen not to agree, we treat each other with courtesy and respect. I daresay that that is a luxury not often afforded in a bloodline "family". And each one of us here fills an indispensible and distinctive (yet flexible) roll - be it a listener, a motivator, a sympathizer/empathizer, or just someone who gives a friendly word of encouragement. I've heard it said many times that blood is thicker than water, and in some cases that is true...but I've found that over-all, when it comes right down to it, I can count on my friends and "chosen family" more readily than many of my blood relatives.

I don't know why I felt compelled to write this about family tonight. I'm usually kinda quiet, I like to watch rather than just jump right in there a lot of times. But it's been one of those weeks where you really feel the need to be grateful for those in your life who mean a lot to you. Each of you means a lot to me, and I felt that it would be fitting to express that to you all...right now, before I got the chance to put it off yet again. You are all wonderful, beautiful people who daily challenge me to look at life in a whole different light. So thank you, my friends...my family. :)

Love, Mysti

Mysti, please jump in more often!!! Very nice post and I had similar thoughts about how much this family here means to me, has enriched me, made me laugh and cry, made me think and go where I never thought I'd go. Totatlly cool!!! and it has showed me so many times how blessed I am. Thank you to each and everyone of you for all the things you do, have done to me here that I can't even being to list and name.

Pete, two things: (1) BIG pat on your back for your professional accomplishments, for going out on a limb and making it work! Congratulations! you have it going for you and with your level headedness (very impressive!!) know what is important and what is not. (2a) one (tiny) bit of scolding: TAKE A BREAK AND SLOW DOWN!!! You can't keep it up at this pace forever and you will wear yourself out and that's detrimental to your health and overall wellbeing. I've hit burn out twice in my life and I'm only 33, and let me tell you, it's not worth it and it sucks big time! (2b) I'm glad you are making time for your exercise, that should help with some of the stress levels, but darn it it's not enough!!! Okay, enough of that. Be well and take care of yourself.

Inn, hope your finger heals quickly. I did that as a kid, breaking a finger when a car door slammed on it. Outch! The memory still is painful :) Here are some kisses to make it/you feel better, since you are not getting them from your kids. XXXXXXXXXX

Love to all,
Evelyn

I agree with Evelyn, Mysti. That was a beautiful post. This is a wonderful family and I'm glad to be in it!
Love,
Whitney

Mysti, I'm compelled to echo the words of Evely and Whitney - such a beautiful post. I envy your wonderful understanding. I wish that I could think and express those lovely thoughts like you can. And yes, I too believe this "little" family is very special. I's a real honour for me to drop in here. My little escape (as if you couldn't work THAT out!).

Evelyn, Guten tag.
You are too kind. The truth of the matter is that I am just being me, and chosing to use (some) of my innate abilities. I've found that there are fewer limits than we usually perceive. We just have to be prepared to recognise them. Call me a pragmatist (boy, am I what!), but that's what I have to do, so I do it.
Thanks for the advice re. slowing down, but truthfuly, I have an active self-check mechanism which allows me to continuously review all that I am and do. I really don't get very stressed, thruthfully, just a bit tired. I'm very careful not to over commit myself.
But, I do appreciate your concern and advice, and I will keep it in mind, just in case!
I hope you're healing OK.

Good afternoon, Whitney!

We just got back from the morning "matinee" of Follies 2003, "Love Is In the Air" and I am floating on air...we got a standing ovation at the end, and I have been taking phone calls of congratulations.

It was quite a wonderful experience, some glitches here and there that the audience was not aware of, and by the time Whitney comes on Wednesday, we will have it just right! The first evening performance is Tuesday (tomorrow night) and then Wednesday night. We have a complete sell out, both nights, 974 seats each night.

Timbo, Pasty Cline was there, filling the auditorium with her marvelous voice..people really think that I am singing, and I love the deception! Elliott "accompanies" me with his toy guitar from ToysRUs, and I introduced him at the end of the show, after I called out different people to thank them. When I told the audience that we had just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary, they applauded loudly, and I told them the secret of a long marriage is due to two words..."Yes, dear!" That got a big laugh!

I am glad that Whitney will represent you all when she comes Wednesday. It will be such a joy to have her..the show is sprinkled with the spirit of "Strictly Ballroom", from the start.

When the curtain rises, couples are dancing in their finery to the strains of Glenn Miller's "Moonlight Serenade", and then the narrator wishes everyone a night of joy, peace and love, and the chorus goes into a medley of
of "Love Is In the Air","Everything's Coming Up Roses", "Another Op'nin of Another Show", and ending with "There's No Business Like Show Business" with the words, "Let's go on with the show, let's go on with the show!!!" And so it goes, for an hour and 50 minutes, no intermission.

I will be thinking of all of you at tomorrow night's performance...oh, wish you lived closer..you would marvel at seniors performing so beautifully, in spite of their aches and pains, and troubled hearts. Yes, "let's go on with the show...let's go on with the show!"

Love you all,

Grandma

Dir auch einen guten Tag, Pete [got that? :) ] I'll just admire you even more for "just being yourself" and for being the pragmatist. Glad you keep a check on yourself, but it starts with physical tiredness & fatigue. I guess I just don't want you to get to the burn out point, but it really is up to you and you know that. My accomplishment is that I didn't do it again during the diss. writing process, when a lot of graduate students end up being totally burnt out, so I'm obviously learning something, but making myself stop in time to relax, is something I still don't find all too easy. I took some time off last night after reading over my thesis one more time and fixing little things here and there and did another water colour and I so enjoyed it, okay the red wine also facilitated the relaxation :-) thanks for the healthy wishes for my finger. It will heal, but these kinds of injuries take a while to heal as you well know yourself and of course it would help if I didn't have to type and also wouldn't. although I'm getting pretty good at the 9 finger system, as the index finger is taped to the middle finger :-)

Grandma, I'm soooooo proud of you. I had a good feeling all day long that things were going well and you all deserve each and every ovation and congratulations you got and will continue to get. --- standing ovation to you all from me---I'm soooo looking forward to the video tape of the show. Perhaps, if you let me, I can digitize some parts of it and post it on my site and this wonderful family can take a look at it. What do you think?

Love,
Evelyn

Hey Paul...

Just wanted to add my note on your "outrage" at God. Just think of all the horrible outlets you could have chosen instead of giving it all back to the One who created you. I believe He is pleased when we turn to Him. Even if it's in anger. It's not like He's sleeping while you're in pain. He knew before you were born that this anger would be here. So, go ahead and rail away at Him. If anyone is going to understand, He is the One who will.

YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE!!! None of us are. Your birth was no mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature. You were His plan. He was not at all surprised by your birth. In fact, He expected it. Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in His mind. He thought of you first. It's not fate, luck, chance, coincidence that you're breathing at this very moment. You (all of us) are alive because God wanted to create you.

The thing that totally freaks me out is that God prescribed every single detail of our bodies. Your parents (whether they were good, bad, or indifferent...I don't know your background) possessed exACTly the right genetic makeup to create the "custom" you He had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you. Now, that might be a great thing for guys like YOU...but not ugly ole' me. :-) But, I do know that he deliberately chose our race, the color of our skin, our hair (or lack thereof in my case), and every other feature. He custom-made your body just the way He wanted it. He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality...that you would be an amazing actor and dancer. That you would have a heart as big as all outdoors. That you would be a true man and always put your family first...etc.

He NEVER does anything accidentally. He NEVER makes mistakes. He has a reason for everything He creates. He didn't NEED to make you. He wasn't lonely. But, he wanted to make you in order to express His love. Because He made you SPECIFICALLY the way he wanted to make you, your life has PROFOUND MEANING!!!

Okay...enough rambling. You're a good and amazing man!!!

Did you ever try the beer bread recipe?

Tim

Hey Paul,
I was reading what everyone had to say to u, and I don't really know what happened to u, but whatever it was, or is, I know that god will be there looking out for u. Even If when u have a bad day or couple of days, u take it all out on him, u can always have the comfort of knowing that he will always be there for u no matter what, because he loves u, and he want's to help u. Coz he doesn't like seing anyone of his children in pain.
Same goes for me. If I see someone in pain I ike to help them. I may not always be able to help them, but alteast I will be able to know that atleast I tried, and that maked me feel good. So anyway whatever u r going through know u don't have to go through it alone. Everyone is out there to help u. And most of all God. So don't give up on him. Coz he hasn't given up on u. And neither have i. Even though I don't know u it sounds like u r a strong person, and u can pull through this tough time u r having and come out a stronger person on the other side.
So remember always have faith, and know that that he can pull u out of the biggest and darkest hole u may have falen into. coz he will always be there ready to help u out.
Keep safe, and remember god loves u, and so does everyone else.
Luv Always Jo.