Paul's Corner

Yes balance, certainly.
But the past is frequenly an indication of the possible.
Successes to be built upon.
Failures to be learned from.
Joy of the moment should not detract from striving.
Fear can be a spur to challenge.
Acceptance smacks of capitulation.
There is such a thing as fire in the belly

Mmmmmmmm....my fire is low - too many people pissing in my pocket!

Ok, Paul, you really got me with this one!

Today I revisited my family's past, with my mother's 92 year old cousin, and a couple of my first cousins, only met this past year.

We went back to the place where our great-great-grandparents homesteaded, admired the lovely lake on the property, marveled at
raising a family of 6 in a very small house. We wandered through
cemeteries, feeling the connections past and present.

My younger son, 14, and one of the cousins, 62, shared a special
appreciation for all this family history, this sense of belonging.
My son because so many of the family near us have passed on,
the cousin because after her mother died when she was 6, her
father remarried and lost touch with our side of the family,
and she grew up never knowing
how many cousins she had.

So, today I wallowed in the past , and loved it, but balance,
as in diet, doesn't have to be achieved daily, maybe weekly.

I love your last line!

In that case balance could also be defined as inner peace.

Sometimes I'd like to be a cat . . . just be in the moment,
what happens happens and you deal with it then.

You've been doing some thinking out west there, Paul,
and thanks for sharing, as always!

hugs and smiles and g'night,
Sally

Re belonging:
I believe that the most important consideration is what or who we choose or allow ourselves to belong to, and what & who we allow to belong to us.

I also believe we can enjoy both belonging and not belonging simultaneously. It is merely the projection of our own will and consciousness that determines any form or relationship of belonging.
In other words; it's what we BELIEVE.

And (just to confuse the issue!) I also believe that there is a multitude of spiritual relationships to which we belong, most of which we are totally unaware of.

That's some quite profound thinking on your part, Paul. Thanks for the gift of reflection.

Peter

Paul, the only intelligent thing I can think to say, right now, is ARRRRGH.

Hi, Peter!
I can believe all I want that I can fly,
but don't send me off a cliff, k?
Cuz no matter what I believe, gravity sucks.

Sally

Paul, I don't claim to have answers. Since I don't believe in determinism, I don't know how I know, but there is so much nore to you than you think there is.

It's too late at night. My head hurts. I capitulate for now. You are indeed totally worthless.

Hi Sally!

I guess I'm the eternal optimist.
Yep, gravity, and all that is real can suck sometimes.
It's a good thing that we can jump,leap and climb, huh??!!

Peter

By the way, I found some more interesting stuff to do in Vancouver. I'll post it tomorrow.

I'm a half-full glass kind of girl myself,
prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
And it is a wonderful thing that we can escape from our realities
in many interesting and unique ways...some of them even legal, lol.

Sally

Paul, It's tough being away from home and loved ones.
Are you holding up OK?
How much longer do you think you'll be OS?

Paul, Things to do in Vancouver:

Dragon Boat races - False Creek (Downtown) 6/21 I've seen these; cool.

Rollerbladeing (of course)
Stanley Park - Downtown
or
Lower Seymour Conservation Reserve - N. Vancouver (much more challanging)

And then for your ongoing fitness routine I find there is a hiking trail up Grouse Mountain called the "Grouse Grind". Sounds lovely don't it? 2.9K - straight up. Hiking boots are suggested and take water and $5. the $5 is for the ride back down. You'll need it.

Dennis

Paul, I apologize for Saturday night. I'm a bit embarrassed by the passion I bring to this discussion. And somewhat appalled by my arrogance in speaking to your life and career when I'm not so sure I've done that well with my own. After a long talk with Momma Mil, I think my frustration comes after reading your post of October 2, 2002. The part that begins,"My list of betrayers". I was blown away. Beyond the pain of those 21 lines and beyond your other talents, you have incredable stories to tell. If people woun't bring projects to you, perhaps you need to create them yourself.

But, talk is cheap. Particulatly if all I have to offer is encouragement.

So, should it come to pass, I couldn't invest much (we're talking small, here), I would be honored to put some money into "Paul Mercurio Productions".

Hope all goes well, in that beautiful place, and in the future.

Dennis

Good morning! Paul, I agree with Dennis (except on that worthless comment :)) My head is too full right now or I'd weigh in on the philosophy more directly.

Sally, I'm so glad you had that family time and that your son enjoyed it so much. Children often seem indifferent to family connections, but they're really not. And I agree that balance is what we bring ourselves into, not where we live on a daily basis.

Peter, I also agree with you about belonging as a projection. More about that later.

Gotta run.

Diane

Peter as always said so well - it is not where do I belong but what do I believe??

Dennis a long talk with Momma Mil????

Diane, oh I was looking forward to yourinspiring insights - I guess I will have to wait. Love the florist idea!!

Sally thanks for your thoughts. Balance = inner peace. Does that also equal 'i believe' for when I say those two words it brings in me a peace, a sense of balance.

and dare I say it.... a sense of belonging!

Yes, a long talk. You want to fight about it? No, I'm not cross with you as I hope the post, above, indicates.

Dennis

balance=inner peace=I believe=belonging
Quite an equation!
And I suspect everyone's may be different, but for me, the inner peace is paramount.
Because in the end the thing I have the most control over is how I react to what goes on around me.

hugs and smiles,
Sally

Sally, I'm with you, spot on.
What we choose to do with that which we are given,...in the end it's all down to us.

Have a great day.

Peter

What a deep conversation going on in here. Whoa!!
I'm in valley guy mode. Like on well.
Hmmmmm
Regarding all that's been said and all the bullshit I've been through for awhile and the shrink visits , the hospital visit and the seminar I just recently attended..I'd have to say Balance is key. Projecting yourself into the future and focusing on your dreams and making decisions that promote that would be second. Third letting go of the past. Remember the things done well and what you've learned from mistakes but everything else basically is baggage...throw it out. The baggage can impair your inner peace which is essential as well. No inner peace and hell you'll try suicide like me.
Well that's all from Timmer. Still working with Whit on my script. What a dynamo she is. Hey Peter she thought I should send it to you so you could read the part of "Kyle" and make sure the his conversations have an Australian lilt to them...remember me asking about dialect issues way back.
Paul sounds like you're doing well. How much longer do you have to stay there? Are you flying your wife up for a weekend or a week to see that place? You should mate. She's probably sick of the kids.

Later dudes

peace and love

The Timmer

Paul, a follow up on your Momma Mil question.

Yes, she gave me a thorough scolding about fighting with you, as mothers will. She is very protective of you. As are we all in our own ways, I guess.

Dennis

My head is both too full and perhaps too empty, but just a few gut feeling responses: in general (!) when I have the strongest longing or urges to belong to someone/some place/something, it's because I'm at odds with myself, am out of balance/feel a particular need for safety etc. Thus I agree with Sallie and Peter and you Paul about the whole balance thing. Your word play on belonging/be-longing, Paul, naturally made me think about what that would be in German, and it doesn't work there, but you get another word play there, which I think is just as interesting that of owning something/someone & being owned by something/someone. What do I want to own, whom will I let own me and to what extent?

I alsofind that when I feel that I finally made it somewhere to a point where I feel that I belong, I often find myself simultaneously NOT belonging. And another question that pops into my mind re. the belonging issue; on whose or what terms do I (want to) belong?

Great points both Peter and Sallie in your posts. And thanks Paul for sharing your very deep, interesting and insightful reflections ... just saw you put up another post. Must go and read that now.

Love to all, Evelyn

Oh, one other thing, I love talking to Grandma on the phone. She's one amazing woman. I'll give you a call soon, grandma. Too bad it's too late to call you now, I'm kind of in the mood. :-)

Where do I belong?

...In the Present.

And oh how difficult that is. I'm making a self-sustaining lifestyle out of the "farm", while juggling the cut-throat Big "X" company's whims. Planning rehearsals for wedding gigs, planning vacations and other family obligations. I've always looked to the past, to my Ancestor's, to Spirit, for comfort and guidance. The balance has always been, "Half in the Past, Half in the future." But, that never gave me any nows. Or if it did, they were fleeting and brief.

At Saturday night's Full Moon, I was given the directive to "Learn to Be". Not just for moments, apparently. Stopping my mind from racing ahead while I am doing one thing, in preparation for the next, is such a difficult task. I've always been on the run, since I was 12, and babysitting, and playing three instruments, and in Student Counsil, etc. It's going to be hard to re-train my brain.

So, the balance is not fifty fifty, it's to be broken up into thirds apparently.

help!
Dhi

Dhiana - 3rd's hey?
me - myself - i
I am here, I am now, I am I
mind, body, spirit

Yep - 3rd's

Yep, 3rds apparently.

Past, Present, Future

It was the PRESENT I kept forgetting about. It is SO hard to live in the "now" when one has been trained by well-meaning parents and teachers to prepare for the FUTURE by studying the past, so as not to make the same mistakes. Good intentions, but MAN...I missed a lot of Nows, as I said.

3's. Distributed equally.

Dhi

I feel that past experiences become very important for future experiences. Have you every looked back at one of your experience and realized why you met a certain person or been to certain place? Then how that person/place really helped change your thoughts or actions. May it help develop who you are today. Have you had trials in your life that leads you to be a stronger person or much kinder person?