Paul's Corner

Paul, this one is too easy. We have to be ready to open ouselves to whatever comes along. Nothing, short of core values, should ever place any limits on new experiences. And we should probably examine those core values on a regular basis. No I won't quote what has become a cliche except to say "you never know what you're gonna get".

I was going to save this for when it actually happened. Thanks to this pain-in-the-ass friend I know, slightly, I will be starting ballet classes in the fall. That is, if I don't lose my nerve and the people I have talked to, on the phone, actually take me when they see what they are "gonna get". This has got to be the gosh-awful wierdest thing I have ever done in all my days.

Why? Well, again, thanks to this self same pain-in-the-ass (man, I love saying that) and his "doco", as he calls it, I have discovered that dance is a part of me and I never knew it. Where the hell did that come from? At this point I have three favorite pieces of music completely "choreographed" in my head; I can see them as clearly as if I was watching them on stage. It is totally ridiculuous because I have no background, but there they are.

I regret a few things. One; I was not dragged kicking and screaming to ballet classes at the age of ten. Two; I don't live in Sydney. I'm going to be a minor contributor to Sydney Dance and they have fantastic classes. My local community does not and the commute would be a beast. And three; that you, Paul, are not near by so I could annoy you with this stuff, as it comes out, and determine if I am simply full of shit (a distinct possibility).

Definitely, begin anew every day. Who knew?

Dennis

Yes, Paul, it does make sense to begin each day anew. But, as you say, it's not as though we start with a clean slate. It's a process of shedding and adding. The challenge, I'm finding, is in changing the fundamental beliefs I hold about myself from my childhood and prior experience so that I can see a fuller range of choices and act from a new vision of myself.

A friend recently sent me an email with a story about a woman who saved things for special days. When she died, her husband unwraped one of those special day items to bury with her. The moral of the story is that every day is special and we are special. But we can stop remembering that when we fall into habitual thought patterns transferred to us by our parents telling us that "we wear our special clothes for special ocassions", "we use the special dishes for special guests" and on and on.

Some of the things that undermine us are the result of stuff buried under the surface that we've yet to uncover.

So glad to hear you're having a good time despite the night shoots. They always make my husband crazy.

Love to all!

Diane

Scott Peck talks about our view of reality, with which we negotiate life, being a map. Our parents contribute heavily to our map, and some people stop revising their maps very early in life, satisfied with the reality of what they know. They would rather manipulate reality to fit their map than give way to changes in their life that might bring new ideas and experiences. I hope to be among the fortunate who choose to live fully, revising my map right up to the end. Blazin trails, baby!

I love Joseph Campbell's works. The Power of Myth really changed the way I view the world. I think he would have loved the Harry Potter books for their excellent interpretation of the Good vs. Evil myth.

Linda, I'm glad you're enjoying the HP books! This week's Newsweek has two HP items. The first talks about how the U.S. books have had lots of words changed that they considered too British for American readers. What an insult! I knew they had done it and it really pisses me off. Give us a little credit. I want the words that the author wrote, not a dumbed-down version. That smacks of something Professor Umbridge would do. By the way, she reminds me of John Ashcroft.

The second article is about the filming of the third book and has several pictures. There is one picture of Sirius and Lupin with the kids, one of the new Dumbledore, and several of the kids and the new director (who compares Voldemort to George Bush by the way). The visual-effects team has spent six months on the dementors alone. Those things scare the shit out of me. The thought of having your soul sucked out of your mouth is about as terrifying as it gets. That could ruin your day.

Glad to hear you're surviving and even having a little fun up north, Paul. Maybe you could write a poem comparing life with brewing beer? I'd like to read that.

Dennis, go to that ballet class and kick some ass! I'm so proud of you for discovering something new that you love and acting on it.

Diane, I love what you said about saving things for special occasions. I really try to use the "good stuff" every day.

Love and light,
Michelle/Chicago

This is a great one.

The harder I work on myself the more I have come realize and accept that each day is definitely new and there for you to make of it what you will. The past due bills and headaches are there, but you can CHOOSE to address them as you can. You can choose to make a list of positive things that you CAN accomplish today. You're almost creating your own destiny. You focus on the do's. The bad news is behind you. Can you really change any of it You can only focus on what you can DO to make things positive in the future. How you were raised, your theological background all the baggage is just that.....BAGGAGE. Let it go.

That's what I'm trying so very very hard to do. I'm adjusting right now to my weight. I've just given up on trying to lose. I bought new clothes that look great on me. I've got great new shoes. I'm going to take tap again this year with the boys. Maybe I'll be able to fit weight loss in this year. It's on my list, but it's not going to hover over me and cause me ill will everyday right now. Debtors. I've called them. I can only do what I can do, if they don't like it, well that's their choice. But I'm getting up getting dressed. Wearing cologne. Striking out to the salon. Looking my best and charming the hell out of people I meet so I can generate some business.

In summary I believe you discard the old and take on the new. It is so hard. I know. God knows I know. You've all witnessed (well most of you) my melt down. But I'm working a system now and that's what it's about.

Dennis take the class. You'll never ever regret it. You'll be fascinated at what you can do and what great friends you'll make. It is a unique bond you'll share with your fellow dancers. And if they want to do a show at the end of the year. DO IT!!!!!! I did in May and I absolutely loved it. It was fantastic. Brilliant even. I thought I wouldn't be nervous at all. Then at the rehearsal in front of the ballet students all in their teens I completely flubbed it up. So the day of the big event I was bit weary about how I'd do. Then came the time to hit the stage. I just looked at my fellow dancers and we went out there and had a ball. I was not nervous at all. I could have stayed up there longer if I had more to do. It was a top moment for me. Right up there with marriage and kids.

Look ahead guys..not behind. If you look behind all the time you're gonna get hit.

love and peace to everyone.

Timmer

PS
Get home soon Paul. I can imagine how you feel but I also empathize with your kids. I know how much they miss their dad.

Well said, Michelle(Chicago) and Tim. I haven't read Scott Peck in years, Michelle. Thanks for reminding me of his work. And Joseph Campbell is fabulous. My oldest is reading "The Power of Myth" for his honors English class this year. The series on PBS was incredible.

Dennis, I agree with Tim. Go for the ballet classes. I'll tell you when you're full of shit. It's when you start denying yourself the opportunity to experience something that you are drawn to because you don't believe you'll "look good", or "be the best" or any other dumb-ass excuse you can come up with.

I had a dream two nights ago that I was to perform the role of Kate in The Taming of the Shrew. It's a role I've always wanted to perform and know very well. This time, instead of the usual performance anxiety version of my dream in which I've never seen the script and I find myself... well... naked on stage, I could assure myself that I knew well enough what I had to do. I just needed to own what I know and get on with the show. Dennis, by all means, enjoy the adventure. I'll send you muscle soothing vibes.

Goodnight, all.

Diane

Wow! So this job provides valuable research for your pub. Coincidence?

On your "growth" thread, I'm in total agreement as most will be. I want to put the disadvantages of my childhood behind me in my mind, but the inescapablility of missed oportunities are far reaching. Windows of oportunity close. I like to think every moment serves a purpose and we can make seeming disadvantage work for us. The glass is half full, not half empty and I know others have risen from far worse circumstances to far greater heights. I don't mind working. I'm just having trouble finding my way to what I want. West Virginia is a little short on mentors especially for women making abstract sculpture. I surf the Web and read biographies to learn what paths brought others to their current happy, fullfilled destinations. If I'm going to have to leave my home to construct my better life, I want to do as much research online as possible. And then one wonders, am I pursuing the right dream.

If we persist, we can succeed, but it's undeniable that some of us face greater challenges and each of us has varying abilities. Yes, I wake to a new day and try in a new way, but at this point it seems the passage to freedom is a secret one.

I'm so glad things are going well Paul and especially glad to hear about the results of all your walking;)

Have a good day everyone.
A special hey to Mamma,Ev and Tim.
Love,
Whit

Innusig, "The Boxcar Children" is a kid's book by Gertrude Chandler Warner.

Good attitude Tim. Who knows what lifestyle change could occur in the future and possibly effect your weight, but in the "now " you deserve clothes that fit. I think your system is working.

Whit

I am unfamiliar with the etiquette of this venue. I do not mean to offend, so I will address this comment to Paul's post.

Do not let the past hinder you. The past is merely a contributor to a probable outcome -- the future.

Paul...Glad you are having such a great adventure! And enjoying some small joys as well. I am still searching for the perfect beer for me. Friends were supposed to bring me some Lambric Kriek. Hasn't happened yet.

Paul, Diane, Michelle...I must read Joseph Cambell - he sounds intriguing.

Michelle...Thanks for the info on Harry Potter. I will check out Newsweek. I have read British mysteries for years with no difficulty in understanding the different phrases. It is equally unfair to the kids avidly reading these books. Professor Umbridge-like for sure. (BTW I can't wait for her to get hers!) When I read Prisoner of Azkaban and was introduced to the dementors, I knew I had already meet some. Those who suck out one's joy! Whenever I am feeling down now, I just know there is a dementor around somewhere!! JK Rowling is so profound in her interpretation of life and living. I will be sad when I have finished the series. It was great summer reading. I might have to re-read it all.

Josie...Just jump right in there with anything that's on your mind!

A pleasant good evening to all in the Corner.

Linda

Thank you, all, for your support. This is an amazing group. And Diane, geez, okay, okay, I won't fail you. Just don't hurt me. I'd rather be a smart-ass than a dumb-ass anyway.

A nude Taming of the Shrew......now where did I put my agent's phone number?

Well, if you don't hear about this for a long while you'll know I wimped. But if nothing else I have to find out if what I have in my head means I have a muse or if it's just the delusions of a deranged dilettante (how's that for alliteration).

I don't mean to go all Zen like someone we all know and love but,

I think
I see the music
I feel
I hear the dance

We'll see...we'll see...we'll see...

Dennis

diminishing back side! nude taming of the shrew!
delusions of a deranged dilettante! (lol) lots!!!

later all...

Hey, everyone,

"Starting HERE, starting NOW, honey,
Everything's coming up roses for me and for you!!!"

Love,

Grandma

Dianne, I'm finally reading some earlier posts and I read of your frustration concerning the literary variations in the HP books. In defense of the editors, I must say that the book I'm playing around with adapting was written by an English woman and I've found a few terms that I believe would have been unintelligable to any other culture even in their day. I haven't read the HP series so I'm only guessing, but could that be a part of why they made the changes? When you say dumbing down I'm guessing you feel the replacement words aren't as accurate? Just curious.
Love,
Whit

ps
Hey Millie. Love ya Sweetie.
Ev you owe me an email eh? Achtung!
You too Tim Schnell, schnell!
(I don't know what the hell I'm saying)

Hi Whitney! I'm the one that made such an issue about the changes in the U.S. version of HP. As someone who reads loads of books, the majority of which are British, I really feel they aren't giving the reader an accurate account of the story.

One of the main reasons I read books from other countries/cultures is because I want to get a feel for what it is like to actually be in that foreign place. I think by changing the words in HP, they did kids a big disservice. They took away the part of the book that could transport them to a totally different place. The changes they made, especially in the earlier books, made the story more generic.

Some of the words they changed were Mum/Mom, cooker/stove, shan't/won't, trainers/sneakers, and my favorite, crumpets/English muffins.

And as I said before, the changes are few in the latest book. So that's a good thing. Oh I almost forgot the worst one, Philosopher's Stone/Sorcerer's Stone. What's up with that? I imagine they thought any title with Philosophy in it would turn kids off.

I wigged out and ordered all of the books from Amazon UK. Not that I'm a purist or anything!

By the way, I totally understand what you said about the book you're adapting. Depending on the story and the word/phrase, I'm sure there are times they must be translated. The case of HP does not seem to me to be one of them.

Love ya,
Michelle/Chicago

Guys - the ultimate tool which we have all heard of but which ONLY FEW LIVE - love self - learn to love and accept yourself totally and learn to find the key which unlocks the inner love so that you can always access it. I teach people self love! It is the key to the truth, the truth that all that exists is right now. The past is not real, it is only a very distorted memory and teh future is only a hope, a thought based on the past.

My email address is attached to my name if anyone wants to know more about this.

Love Sara

Sara:

To me, the past is very real. I recently read an article that highlighted the difference between the East and Western culture. There are those in the West that use the term "it's history" and dismiss it to be an era gone by. But in cultures where history -- the past, is rich in its lessons, and enlightenment, the term "it's history" is revered. History is studied, preserved and used as beacons for the future.

I may not always look at my past fondly, but unless I accept this, how can I look to the future?

Well said Josie. The history channel quoted some late, great thinker as stating that, if we don't learn history, we're forced to live our lives as children. Ignorance is bliss, but we can't afford it.

Good night Millie.
Love,
Whit

Momma Mil...Thanks for your lovely sentiment! Linda

Hey Michelle. I'm just catching your post. I see your point. It would be nice to experience the cultural flavor of the language in which a book is written; what a shame to waste it. Maybe a little dictionary for the book would have been a better solution. I'm still curious about at least one English phrase from the book I'm learning to adapt. When I read it again, can I check with you for possible meaning? It sounds like you might be just the person to ask.

Whit

Sara
My history is too real for me. It is one of the things I try diligently to leave alone and move forward. Do you offer any advice on how to rid oneself of his/her past behaviour and thought processes in order to open up the real inner self. Allowing more personal growth?
Tim
Hep Paul...when you going home mate?

hugs to Millie and Whit.

group hugto everyone else.

peace and love

Tim

Group hug! How cool Tim. I felt that one. I'm interested in your thoughts as well Sara.

Good afternoon dear Mil and Ev. A day with no morning mail from either of you is like a day with no sunshine.

I hope your safe Paul. I only saw the news in passing, but are you in the area that was experiencing forest fires? Hope not.

Whit

Dear Whit, the passage to freedom is taken one little step at a time my friend. It isnt a secret passage at all but it is only revealed as you slowly walk its winding length - one step at a time - making discoveries and maybe even making sense of those discoveries. Sometimes we dont even realise we are in fact on the path deep along the passage and only in hindsight do we see how far we have already come.

Dennis "going zen"? doing ballet and now writing poems??? Man what an inspiration!!! Really loved your poem - I see music and hear the dance all the time! Go for what is in your heart and in your mind. I wish you luck with the choreography and am very interested to hear about this journey you are taking! Go For It!

Welcome Josie! The only ettiqutte here is to add your thoughts and share those of others.

Great to catch up with you all!

Timbo, looking good!

Diane, you first paragraph of your first post is really really great. Speaks to me and calls to me. I will be working with that one for a while - thank you.

Sara, I'm not certain about your comment "The past is not real". I am drawn to think that you are perhaps presenting this in a context which is not readily apparent, so I am reluctant to make any conclusions.

I cannot imagine the past not being real.
My past is real, in fact it's very real and extremely relevant to who I am. I have spent a good deal of my own personal energy unlocking the past and understanding its' influence on me as a person in the here and now. And this influence is undeniably profound, and very real. It is only through this searching, learning and understanding that I have found much greater wisdom and peace.
My past has eventually revealed to me exactly what my purpose is, and I can now see why my life has unfolded in the way I know it. There is great meaning and purpose there.

Paul, I reckon that not just everday, but every moment starts afresh with new opportunities.
We can't shake the past, but we can be thankful for what it has given us. I don't want live in the past. I really don't give a monkey's about some some of the things that have happened (or so I try to convince myself). But, I can't deny that without my past, I would'nt be who I am right now.
I believe we should'nt dwell in the past, but we should take the lessons we have learnt and make our future better.
Further, the past has given me many wonderful memories.
I truly believe that matters past and present are not important. I mean, the matters themselves are important, but not neccessarily the timing. The chronology only gives them some recognisable meaning.
Sorry if this sounds simplistic, but I really don't think that for me, it has to be any harder than that.

Cheers to all,
Peter

Yes, I agree with Whitney, Tim, a group hug sounds great! My horoscope told me I must hug at least twenty people - 40 for extra credit. So I will start with those in Corner.

Linda

Hi Everyone

The past - I have read the comments posted and I agree in part. I agree about history being full of so many stories that we can draw on to learn how we do things, how we react to things. The past can unlock why we do things the way that we do them - but none of that makes it real. Its just a memory. I say that not only because it is the truth but because when people can give themselves teh gift of some distance from their pst, to allow themselves some perspective, then they can see things about themselves. They can learn things. What saddens me though, is when people think they learn about themselves in the past and then simply change the way they do things in the future. Is that really learning? I challenge you to think about what really moves people forward - what really gives people access to who they are, who they really are, is love and forgiveness.

When you learn how to experience self love and forgiveness you are free of the constraints of the past so that you can live in the truth, the present.

My history has given me lots of tools to unlock the doors to find who I am but to discover my spiritual self, my inner truth, I don't have to look backwards, I only have to look within. To see within, you only have to clear the cobwebs - to do that you go through the experience of self love and forgiveness until you reach the place of nothing but self love.

People think in right and wrong - in duality. But if we thought in nothing but love and learning we would move forward. What I mean by that - there is no such thing as right and wrong, its something that humans made up - its just language. What if we realised that as people, we live through our personalities in light and shadow, the light is love and the shadow is an opportunity to learn (its not wrong). Think how that would effect you. You would experience immediate forgiveness, self love and growth. You would not be stuck in the past by your self judgment.

That is the journey we are all on together, learning to love self and give love to others. Its not an easy journey, but think - if the hot plate were not turned on, the child would never learn not to touch it (sorry about the double negative)

Love Sara

I'm glad you found my observation useful, Paul. When I read your comment, I thought to myself "Wow. I wrote something deep. How did that happen?" Which only goes to prove my theory that we continue to view the world through the images we have held of ourselves until we can replace those images with a new ones. I'm working on it.

I really like your analogy of life as a winding path. When I start to think that I haven't progressed in my personal growth as I'd like, I look back at where I was and see that movement was evident sometimes and at other times too subtle to notice. Some of the steps were backwards. Life is just not linear and evenly paced.

Peter, I share your perspective on the past. If we're willing to do the hard work — as you have, we will eventually come to understand the meanings of events and create more meaningful lives instead of blindly following others or fumbling in the dark and getting lost.

Sara L., I'm still trying to get my head around your statement that the past is unreal. I know I've read that elsewhere. But in light of Peter's observations, I have to agree that the past is very real in terms of it's effect on us. We filter everything through our experiences and our feelings about them, so if the filtering or distortion is what makes the past unreal, that would mean that the moment we're in is just as unreal — as is the future.

Now I have a headache.

Group hugs back at ya'll!

Diane

Ok here is my take on Sara Lovett's theory, no personal offense intended. You can't learn self love unless you know yourself, you can't know yourself unless you know your past. The past is very real. Who raised you? Who loved you? Who treated you badly? You learn because you experience and because you remember it. As for no right and no wrong..I would not consider murder a learning experience, nope it's definitely wrong. The past is the only thing you can hold onto. The present and the future become the past so quickly you don't even feel the wind as they slide by.
Self love and forgiveness? Absolutely, but to know them you have to have them in a place you can remember them...the past.
That's just me.
Inn
PS. thanks for the hug Timmer, joining in and passing it around.

Hi guys

Wow, I have really opened up a convo. Of course when I think about my life, I look back and think about all of the things that have happened. But when I think about creating my life, becoming me, I look to now, who I am now and what and how I am doing now. That does not mean that to get this this place I did not go through the journey that Paul talks about. But beyond that is more, beyond looking to the past is what is now, and what is now is just what I create. If I choose to create a loving, wonderful life right now then that is what it is. Its called reaching the place of nothing, which, Diane, is exactly where you had reached. Beyond the nothing is what you choose there to be. You can choose whatever you want, but by the fact that you can choose means that what is real is now, in a moment and you can create whatever you want. It's a challenge, yeah? It's frightening but only in its unfamiliarity. I work pretty intensely with people as they walk through the dark to the light, where they experience love and forgiveness. I don't agree that you have to remember love and forgiveness, you have to experience it. You can create a life where you come back to love all of the time, it does not need to be in memory, it just is.

Interesting....

Love Sara

Interesting how serendipitous life can be - been thinking about the threads lately and while working on some integration information at work today (our company has bought out a few others lately) I came across the following quote which we used at a staff meeting...

“I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”
Charles Swindoll

Not sure how it relates to whether the past is real or not but, found it quite thought provoking.

Hi, guys- The timing on this is really cool- I read it all shortly after having breakfast with two guys that I haven't seen since 8th grade graduation in June of 1969! We had been classmates from 1st-8th, then went into different high schools and lost contact. (LOVE the internet and classmates.com.)It was a blast to share old memories and to marvel at the directions our lives had taken over the last 34 years. (Not to mention the direction our various body parts had taken-- gravity and all that!)What's even odder is how clear 40-year old memories could be- considering half the time I can't remember what I did yesterday. One of my two forays into bumpersticker copywriting was "The closest distance between two points in time is memory" which I also embroidered on a pillow. (The other one is "It's not a car; it's a portable landfill!"~ but that's another subject!)
Thanks to Paul (and all) for the brain fiber-- I will take it with me tomorrow to Aspen and ponder it from atop the mountain, as I celebrate my 48th on Sunday.
Have fun and don't forget to watch for the Perseid meteor showers on the 12th & 13th.
Cath

Sara, Could you please explain a little further, re. "love and forgiveness" ?
I mean, I can understand the part about love. That's easy.
Fortunately, my life is filled with the wonderful love of my family.
But, I can't quite grasp the forgiveness part.
What should I ask forgiveness for? And why?
And most importantly, from whom?
Honestly, I really don't think I have anything to ask forgiveness for. Sorry if I sound conceited, but this is the truth.

What do you think?

Peter

Ah Peter, nothing to be forgiven for hey? I am sure it is true but it brings a smile to my face all the same.

What is true for all of us, what is real for all of us is we live in the now. If we contemplate only that - then the past and the future: a. arent real and b. dont exist.

As humans part of our journey of discovery and understanding ourself is to look to the past and the future for reference, for guidance, for security. A journey has a begining, a middle and an end - a journey in fact exists only in the moment - in the now, but we as humans cannot comprehend that and so we break it into the three parts of past, now and future. This is what we are. We understand generally to live in either of these parts wholey/singularly is not the solution to understand the meaning of I. To find a balance between remembering an experience,having an experience and imagining another experience is actually living in the now.

What I am saying is I believe in the past and the future because they are important parts of the NOW.

Sara, if you dont believe in right and wrong (which I am in agreeance with you) why do you believe in walking from the dark into the light?
Sureley a journey is a journey and each and every step is a moment in the now of ones self love.

The forgiveness part I too would like you to explain about a bit more. It suggests christian guilt to me which is completely rooted in the past and the future. If one lives in balance and harmony with the synergy that is the now, reaching that place of nothing, ready to choose that which one wills - with only love, then forgiveness is not real.

I posted a new thought which is appropriate I think so I will put it here:

I am I
I am Here
I am Now
I Create my own Reality

I still can't get over the right and wrong thing. I never considered myself to be a deep thinker, though I do believe I am intelligent. I see right and wrong but I guess I am thinking in action and not in theory. I think murder, cruelty, ignorance, hatred, violence, child molestation, beastiality, and the fact that you can't make a left hand turn in New Jersey are all wrong. What I think is right is too long to list but I still see it, two halves to the whole. Light-Dark, right-wrong, yin-yang, ect.
I'm a stubborn ass sometimes.
Inn

Paul, I'm glad that brought a smile to your face!
Hey, let's get this absolutely straight - I'm not saying that I've never done anything wrong, or failed in any way. Believe me, I am my strongest critic. I could provide a very lond and detailed list! But that doesn't mean I always beat myself up over it. I try to recognise it and then respond by improving, if I can. I reckon there's several thousand lifetimes required before I come close to getting it ALL right. I am acutely aware of my own failings and weaknesses, as I perceive them.
My point is, who is to judge, and to what end? Forgiveness? What would I do with this forgiveness? How will it make me better, especially if I don't feel a need for it?
Should I be convinced that I need it, even if I feel that I don't? How would that benefit me?

I too recognised what I think is Christian guilt in Sara's comments. Sorry Sara, I can't be on that wavelength. If we're created imperfect, why should we apologise for it?
It makes no sense to me whatsoever, but I respect your ideals.

Paul, I completely agree with your view of life being a journey. Would we be anything at all without it?
Often I think that the journey is all that there is, in this current existence and then the next.

Sometimes I take a backward or sideways step. Sometimes I get altogether lost.
But, I don't believe I should ask for forgiveness, simply because I'm doing the best I can, and that's all there is.
As well as being a spiritual being, I am also a biological one. I make mistakes, I learn, I adapt, I improve. I can't do any more and won't apologise for that.

Sara, I too would like to hear more. It would be interesting to hear a different perspective.
BTW, I've "seen" Jesus. I've been there (to the other side) and I remember it very clearly. I feel as though I am an intrinsic part of the universal consciousness, not inferior or subserviant to it, but part of it, exactly as Jesus is and every other spirit. No different.
This experience serves to strengthen my view on forgiveness. It does in no way lessen it.
I know for a fact that I was given a job to do in this life. It has not always been easy. I clearly remember the sorrow of others towards me before I started this journey, the intention being that I would be disconnected from spiritual and earthly family. This had to be done in order that I could fulfil my destiny.
Forgiveness seems irrelevant.

Peter

Perhaps I am missing the meaning....I see the good in self love, certainly if this means a little bit more selflessness. It's interesting that this has spawned a thought in Paul; one focused on "I".

In my advancing years, I find that I am more drawn to people who are less aware of themselves. You know, random acts of kindness; consideration, words of encouragement, understanding, tolerance, patience, words of encouragement. Yet, they don't even know the impact they have left.

In the here and now, I too can make the decision to act selfless. I may not always succeed, but I suppose this what Paul calls the journey...

Hi everyone

Yeah, Paul and Peter - I am with you both. Its fascinating, because our beliefs and what helps us on our own journey depends on where we are up to on the journey. I love seeing people on their journey and helping them along the way, so its great to read about both of you so clearly alive to yours.

What is there - dark, light? Again it depends on where you are up to in your journey? Because when you think back to the beginning, when you first start looking for what you think is missing - you look at your past, at your own behaviour and you assess it, change it, learn to forgive yourself for being your own harsh critic. You learn, by travelling through darkness, by living in duality, how to truly love who you are and you reach a place of knowing.

Is there dark and light? There has been so much written about the journey, and that part which has us moving through the valley of darkness. I am with you Paul - we live in a world of duality - where we cannot (or we refuse to) comprehend the infinite. When I work with people who are up to this part of the journey, we work on the mirror. You know - the first part of the mirror journey is recognising that the entire universe is only a reflection of ourselves. When we realise that, we can learn about ourselves and about the universe. We learn responsibility and we start to comprehend unity. But then, from that comes the next part of the mirror. That is, learning to step into the mirror. When we step into the mirror we learn that within us there is no duality, there is only the infinite. From that space comes inner peace, love and incredible power and strength. But we don't live in the mirror, we are still people with bodies and minds, and so we have to learn to take what we know is in the mirror and start to live from it in the real world. THERE IS THE CHALLENGE. How many people do you know who really live it, whose career, daily life, relationships, community - do the do! When we bring what we know into our lives, we know how to give, really give, and how to receive and how to trust and how to love for no reason, how to give love from the outset. We then learn to live it everyday. There is magic is knowing that through the infinite unity comes incredible abundance, love and peace. I hope that each of us, on our journey reach the place of stepping into the mirror, and then taking what we know, and living it - so that it impacts the world.

What is truly incredible - is that that is only the part of the journey that we are up to - there are so many levels beyond that. Imagine, our grandchildren will be wondering why we think and believe in so many things.

There is a lot there to consume - I am writing a book, putting together a documentary and I spend hours with clients teaching this everyday - I am not going to get it all down in one email. Well, I pause there - if there were something I could say - it is this - we are all love - shine that out into the world! Think of yourself as a beacon of pure love light and shine it at every moment.

Sara

Sara, Thank you for that explanation. It has provided a good deal more clarity and has helped to put your previous comments into a context that I personally can recognise.
I look forward to reading your book, when it is ready.

Peter

Your statement, Sara, that the past is unreal has troubled me, too, even though at the same time I see your point--on some level, to some extent. Yet at the same time, when things from my past have come back with a vengeance in forms of memories, feelings, questions and challenges and strangely triggered a lot of fear and anxiety in the now, I have to say the impact the past is having on me at the moment is very real and it’s significantly impacting my future as well, although I’m not sure in what way yet. By the way Paul, I liked your previous thought about not fearing fear and letting love be my guide. Easier said than done, but definitely true. I guess I believe in the interconnectedness of what we call the past, present and future and that they form or make up our now. I don’t want to dwell on the past, but it is part of who I am and who I have become, of the journey I am on and sometimes I need to look back to assess, readjust or to set goals.

Some questions that have come to mind as I was reading the posts. Sara, these are probably totally unfair questions, or perhaps ones I wouldn’t really want to answer, because I’m not sure how, but here they are anyway:
1. Can you describe this love some more? Love is such an abstract term and can mean so many things …
2. In one of your earlier posts you said that “the light is love and the shadow is an opportunity to learn (its not wrong).” Why do you align opportunity to learn with shadow? And by the way, I think that light and shadow is just as much a duality, though different than the darkness-light duality, or is it????
3. I found it interesting that in your response to Paul and Peter to clarify the “forgiveness” aspect, you didn’t address that at all and focused pretty much exclusively on “love.” Did I miss something there? I’d still like to know how forgiveness works in your teachings –sorry, this sounds perhaps a bit too guru-like, I’m taking you rather seriously though.

Sara, I don’t mean to put you on the spot or question you, but I’m just very interested.

Some more questions: How does this work when you give up the concepts of “right” and “wrong”? How do I (you) work in what I (you) perceive as my (your) own failings and shortcomings (that is if you still do that after giving up that belief/concept)? Or are my perception of failings and shortcomings bound up in the concepts of right and wrong?

Christian guilt, tough one, for me anyway at the moment. How do I not feel guilty for something that is not of my own doing, yet I feel angry, upset and guilty for feeling angry and upset? Vicious cycle …

I also like your current thought, Paul, although at the moment I’m having a little trouble with the “I create my own reality” part of it in my life. Generally, I agree with you, but for myself I’m contemplating this question right now How do I create my own reality when I had to hand over the decisions about my career, my livelihood and a few other things to other people, whose choices and decisions I don’t control, yet it will profoundly impact me. I want to be able to create my own reality there, yet I feel that I can’t at the moment on this particular aspect, or I don’t know how. What does it mean specifically to you to create your own reality?

Okay, enough questions for one day.

Group hug back to everyone.

Evelyn

Hello,

Paul, I just read the "The Full Monty" was scheduled to start on Oct 25,at "Her Majesty's Theatre" in Melbourne.

Is this true? Wow, seems as though those notebook selling days far behind you now. Congratulations!

Michelle -NS

Innussiq, the idea of right and wrong not actually existing comes from the idea that as souls we are here to learn lessons. So perhaps to the soul right and wrong has no meaning for experience is the lesson. Unfortunately that does mean that some of the experiences learned are to do with the things we as humans find absolutely abhorent and quite rightly wrong - but that too is part of the experience. I think it helps to look at our own belief structure and we will see that a lot of what we hang on to as right and wrong are our own hang ups, our own judgements handed down. These are the little things and I think we would be better off without them. The bigger stuff is unjust to human behaviour but would seem - like it or not - to be exactly part of what human behaviour is. Right and wrong exist in the world but it is the experience of humanity that seems to override it, thats would seem to be the greater need.

Weird hey?!

I agree with you Sara and have long held the understanding that we are all beacons of love. Few too many people understand this - gosh if we all did there would be no reason for this mortal realm.

Evelyn, you create your own reality by choosing. Every choice you makes is part of building your own reality even when you choose to give someone else power over you. I must admit to being lost from this idea for a couple of years as I felt that I was not creating my own reality because too many people seemed to be making choices regarding what I was becoming. I became a victim, I handed over all my power and worse than anything I stopped dreaming.

Well putting that thought back on to this site is part of the process of claiming back my power and my creating my own reality. How do you do it? Dream, Visualise, Affirm, Believe, Trust, Be Clear, Love and take one step at a time.
I am I, I am here, I am Now, I am everything I want to be - and if when you say that you think no I 'm not, then it by your choice that you are not and you must firstly affirm that statement to be true (because it IS) and secondly clearly define what it is you are creating and take the steps toward it: Dream, Visualise, Affirm, Believe, Trust, Be Clear, Love and take one step at a time.

Michelle that info is wrong. I am doing the launch for the show in a couple of weeks and am not at liberty to say when the show is exactly but unexactly it begins rehersal sometime in Nov and opens sometime late Dec. In fact I am flying home to do the launch. Be home one week and then back here in Vancouver for a couple more weeks to finish up the film then home sweet home. Cant wait!!! The great news is my notebook selling days are over! At least for the foreseable future - if there is such a thing?:)

Group Hug!

Dear Paul,

Your letter is so exciting, especially when you finally stated that the notebook days are behind you, and now it's the launch of "The Full Monty" back to "I Robot" and home for good to open on the stage in December!

Your star is definitely in the ascent, and I think we all knew that it would just be a matter of time.

With the love and support of your family and friends, "this could be the start of something big!"

Quivering with excitement in Florida,

Grandma

I am reading this guys book and was looking at his web site and came across this talk he gave. I thought it was appropriate regarding creating your own reality. http://www.marcallen.com/visionary_business.htm

Grandma Mil, with the amount of thinking I have been doing, getting back in touch with myself and the wonderful support from my family on PC I reackon your right!

Paul...Interesting slant on doing business!

BTW...Is anyone from California out there? If so, what's the vibe on the Gov's problem? Will Arnold be the next Gov? Minnesota elected Jesse Ventura so I guess anything is possible. It seems like a three-ring circus with everyone throwing their in their hats! It should interesting to follow the process - it's the American way!

GH back to the Corner.
Linda

First of all, Happy Birthday, Catherine! Roars of happiness to my fellow Leos at PC and to everyone else, as well.

Evelyn, I'm sorry you are having such a frustrating time this summer. You are so talented. There must be a way to create a unique position for yourself. Same with you, Whitney. We need to brainstorm on this.

Wonderful news, Paul. As Grandma Mil says, we're all cheering you on. It feels gooooood! And I know what you're saying about right and wrong. There is the limited, physical reality and then there is the spiritual reality. Good and bad do exist, but wrong choices create opportunities to set in motion changes for the better.

I can't say that about the recall of Governor Davis, though, Linda. It really is a circus. A bad reality program. And if this is the American way, Americans need a course correction. The recall process was not created to be used as a political tool (the Bush Administration does have its hands in this), nor was it instituted to punish an elected official with whom we merely disagree. It was meant to remove someone guilty of malfeasance. Such is not the case with our Governor. I know a lot of people who don't find Gray Davis especially effective, but we just REelected the man, and many of the complaints about him were known BEFORE he was reelected. Arnold has little-to-no political experience and with our bond ratings lowered recently, the State is in crisis mode. I didn't like Ronald Reagan as President and I wasn't living here when he became governor, but at least he had proven leadership experience and knew the issues. I have to believe that there are enough people out there who can defeat this effort — who see this recall for the political power play that it is and who understand the damage it will do to California in both the short and long term. Some of the people who started this, by the way, have said "it's just the beginning." They have more mischief in mind. We'll see what happens $60 million dollars later. That's the projected cost of this game. Those dollars could provide food, clothing, shelter and health care for many in need. But I guess we'd rather throw our money into spectacle instead of substance. It's very disheartening.

Good night.

Love,
Diane

May I ask..... what does a choreographer do? Is their job done once a show is playing?

I saw MIT was looking for a choreographer for West Side Story this fall, but was wondering what it is one does in this position?

By the way for more info on that position, email:
mtg-board@mit.edu or go to their web site at:
http://www.mit.edu/activities/mtg/index.html

Diane...Thanks for the perspective in California. It just seems to be to very discouraging to have all this controversary raging! I feel for you. For someone not living there, it also seems counterproductive in that it does not appear to helping the state solve its problems but rather just adding to them. Sadly, a speedy remedy does not appear to be in sight.

Thanks for the information. Linda

Paul, speaking of your "diminishing backside," what are your current measurements, weight, height, waist, hips, chest, etc.? What's your workout routine other than drinking beer? Does it involve dance?

How did I get so far behind? I love these bubbly debates. This is a wonderful tool for exploring and clarifying what we want in the many areas of our lives. Thanks again Kat and most of all Paul.

I'm currently reading Lucinda Bassett's "Life Without Limits" and if this book can do what she claims her writings can, then it could help the reader answer many of the questions currently being discussed. She too acknowledges the need to clearly know what you want, in order to have it (I had that part figured out). Here's a great quote she inserted at the beginning of her book:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always eneffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never other wise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way." - W. H. Murray

Your recent brewing experience would be one example of such and opportunity Paul. I hope I can make it to the first grand opening.

Good morning Millie, Ev and brave Tim!
Hugs and love to all,
Whit

Chicago Michelle, I'm just reading your response (sometimes I start from the bottom and then other times from the last post). I see your point. Those words didn't require americanizing; it diminishes the cultural flavor as you pointed out. I guess they chose sorceror because philosophy, like metaphysics, has been fading out of popularity. They knew kids could relate to magic.

Email is down again!!! I too wonder how I can get on the internet and still be unable to get my mail. I guess it's on a different server. They must feel Sunday is the best day to work on something that requires shutting down the system.
Whit

Happy birthday Catherine! Thanks for the tip on the meteor shower. A friend told me Mars will be very close at this time. Heres the info:

MARS

This month and next Earth is catching
up with Mars, an encounter that
will culminate in the closest approach
between the two planets in
recorded history.

The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars
and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000 years but it may be
as long as 60,000 years.

The encounter will culminate on August 27th
when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles
and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide.

At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will
look as large as the full moon to he naked eye.

Mars will be easy to spot.
At the beginning of August Mars will rise
in the East at 10 p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.

But by the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30 a.m.

That's pretty convenient when it comes to seeing something that no human has seen in recorded history.

So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month.

Share this! No one alive today will ever see this again.

---------
Whit

Very intriguing discussion. I have been struggling with much of the same stuff for many years now. Particularly, the battle between who I am and who I was raised to be. A book that helped me discover a bit about myself is Illusions by Richard Bach. Paul, I think that you would really enjoy it. It is a sort of end at the beginning kind of book. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. It is particularly useful for those who struggle with the Christian guilt complex. I know. I have for years.

The discussion of dark and light really caught my notice and reminded me of some stuff I read a few years ago, back in my college days. Plato's allegory of the cave deals with the same problem of the real and the REAL. It uses the same light and dark imagery. I'll give you my interpretation. Please read it for yourself though. I know it will mean different things for each of you.

Here it goes...

Imagine yourself chained in a cave. Others are with you, but you are not allowed to see them. You may only look at figures projected on the wall. After a while, you start to attribute the voices of your fellow captives to particular images. Maybe you even give them names. You might have even competed for prizes for the sharpest eyes. What an honor. Life is life. Nothing new. One day something happens or someone comes to drag you from your cave. You are made to face the sunlight. It is painful. Your eyes ache and nothing is clear. Everything you see seems to be a shadow. You have to adjust to things in the world outside the cave. At first you cannot look at the things around you. They are too bright, too real. You can only look at their reflections. With time, you come to look at things as they are and you begin to remember. You think of life in the cave. You remember your fellow captives and the games you used to win. How foolish those games have become. The prizes worthless. You try to go back to the cave to tell everyone about the light and what is real. Everything in the cave is not a shadow to you. The captives laugh at you and tell you your sight has been ruined. They say they would kill anyone who would free them and lead them out of the cave.

Which is more real:

The shadows with their depth combined with the imagination of the mind or the light with its intensity and certainty?

Wondering,

Kat

Paul, THANK YOU for your response on creating my own reality! It makes a lot of sense and in an interesting way, your comments have affirmed something for me that I've been thinking about and struggling with my own fears lately, namely of being afraid to ask for what I want and need and thus not setting clear goals or for those that I had set, I am holding back, doubting, most of all myself. I have my work cut out for me, letting go of that fear and claiming my space back and my right to ask, dream, want, plan and accomplish. The talk by Marc Allen, for which you so kindly posted the link, was also incredibly helpful to me at the moment and my copy is now filled with comments, notes, questions and reactions in the margins and I've started to write up a plan, this might take a while, but I'm suddenly remembering a lot of the goals that I had made for my life and am noticing how they still are relevant, even though I lost sight of them.
Whit, that quote is right on the mark as well. Thanks for posting it. I think you and I both have to leave some hesitancy behind us, don't you think?

Paul, I'm so happy for you that the notebook selling days are behind you and that you are able to claim your own power back and getting back to where you want to be and no longer chose to be a victim and getting to go home, even if it's only for a week initially. I'm sure you, your wife and daughters will make the most out of it. Definitely excited for you all! :-)

Diane, thanks for your compassionate thoughts. Yes it is frustrating, but I wouldn't want to miss out on the learning that has come and continues to come with this experience (that’s the optimist in me speaking, I’m glad she’s part of me) that is helping me back on track and obviously I'm still on shaky grounds with myself in terms of what I want and not want. I know there is so much in academia that I really don't want to be a part of, esp. the (intellectual) arrogance, the ivory tower-ness, and this one-sided teaching that only focuses on research and the intellect and not on the whole person that includes the spirit, soul, emotions, body, experience etc. I want greater freedom to be the teacher I've always envisioned myself to become and to be, with more room for creativeness than is currently practiced in most institutions of (so-called!) higher learning and that is something I've always struggled with: can I be such a teacher within the constraints of this system, can I change the system enough to work from within it or do I have to go elsewhere with other like-minded people and start some school of our own, or search more actively to see if such a school is already in place. This founding a school of our own idea is a very recent idea and one I've not really taken all that seriously, but I think I should and see what will happen. A friend of mine, equally frustrated with our job prospects already gave it a name: the Evelyn & Betsy University, NOT to be abbreviated to EBU or something similar!! Don’t know what that would involve, but who knows what will come of it.
How are you doing? Have you made any decisions about your career choices, business plans and goals? Where are you in that process? And good luck to California in the recall. I hope the “right” thing will happen.

Love to all of you!

Hi Everyone

Paul - the TV show that I have written is about people LIVING choice, freedom, and understanding light/shadow etc. We are pitching for a 10 part SBS doco shortly as well. I want people to be given the chance to learn about choice and beacons and I think people are calling for it on TV, instead of so much darkness. I would like to talk to you about having your story as a part of it. My email address is attached.

Thanks, Sara

Evelyn - thanks so much for your message. My job is to help people find their answers to those questions. But in finding the answers, what everyone learns is that they can't just be told, they have to experience it themselves - do that by thinking about the questions, and then take the questions into your everyday life and see what comes out. If you want me to help you I can. My email address is there.

Love Sara

Linda- I have been keeping an eye on the situation in Cali and I find it really an embarrassment to the democratic process, it is sad that all this crazy crap is and will affect the people (trickle down effect)now and in the long term because establishment of precedents. ugh
As for Arnold, he is not stupid but he has no experience in running a city or a state. I mean a production company does not have constituents with needs and wants. I dont know unfortunately other states are having really big problems as well.... oops went on soap box.

Paul it appears that your perspective has changed and you seem to be going in a positive direction.
Are you seriously going to open a brew cafe??

Good wishes to all!

I thought you'd enjoy this:

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung
on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One
of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a
half pots of water to his house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. I am
ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very
interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

To all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers.

Have a lovely day!

Diane

I need to remember this story when i'm feeling a little cracked!!! thanks diane....

Diane, beautiful! Thanks.

Paul, Ah, yes, the journey and the lessons we learn along the way. I agree. It's my belief and understanding also.
It appears that my foremost purpose is as a messenger. Recent events and review of all that has happened previously all point to it. Please note, this is not something I went looking for, it just happened to fall into my lap.
Personally, I reckon I'm an odd choice for a messenger, but when you look at it closely, then perhaps I'm ideally qualified for the job, as far as credibility goes, that is (so I'm told). We will have to wait and see. I know what the message is, and Paul, as you explained, the strength of the message is as trivial or as profound as we choose to make it.
Yes, that choice is also ours. One day I'll write it all down and perhaps someone will read it.

But another thought has also previously occurred to me. Perhaps I'm also here this time around in order to learn a lesson myself. I can't imagine that it could be any other way. I'm sure the list is long. Where do I start? Maybe I've already learnt it. Gosh, I hope so.

I had a great day on Sunday. Each year I organise a coach (bus) load of runners to go to the City to Surf. It's a community fun run event that attracts around 60,000 serious runners, joggers, walkers, people dressed as fairies, several "Incredible Hulks",...you name it. We go to a pub afterwards, relax in the sunny courtyard, have a great feed, relax some more, and have a few drinks too! A beaut day. Everyone enjoys it, from the youngest kid to our oldest (83 years).
I used to be a preferred runner. That's one who is fast enough to qualify to start right from the front of the field. Now, I'm injured and fat and can't run a step, but I enjoy watching the runners finish and feel quite useful as the organiser and chief bag minder. Maybe there's a lesson in there as well.

Have a good day folks.
Peter

Hello everyone!
I've been reading a wonderful book called "Without Reservations," about a lady who is learning how to be happy and live life with adventure, and it mentions "Strictly Ballroom" as a great movie! I suggest it to everyone.

Dennis, I know I'm very late to say so, but I loved your poem. When I read it out loud it had great rhythem, like a song almost. It is so simple and yet I feel there is something to really think about behind the words.

Well I want to go and catch up on everyones posts, I've been working and have not had the time to keep up. And I'm sure there is some fasinating stuff being talked about.

be alive,
Melinda

Katherine, I have spoken in past posts about the affect 'Illusions" has had on my life. I enjoy Richard Bach's writing very much and on occassion go back and thumbs through his books for little snippets of inspiration and reminders of the joy of the journey.

Diane, a great story and a timely reminder, thank you!

Peter, careful where you look for there seem to be lessons every where!!! ARGH!

And yes Mercedes I am definately going to open 'Paul's Place' a Beer Cafe Brewery. The plan is to open in Two years - so I better get cracking!

Strange how that word came up???? "Get Cracking" an interesting phrase/idea in light of Diane's story hey?

Paul, too true, I will keep that in mind.

I genuinely hope that the brew cafe becomes a reality soon and that it fulfills all of your hopes.

Peter

I wanted to suggest the book Conversations With God to anyone interested in the concept of "there is no right or wrong", as well as some interesting insights into past/present/future, etc. Actually, I think the "time" explanation is in Book 2. My head hurt after trying to comprehend the fact that all the lives we have ever lived, and are still to live, are happening right now. Our current life's past, present and future are all happening NOW. The ability to observe it merely depends on your point of view--your "place in space". We ARE however able to change our future if we so desire.

Really cool books. I've got the first 3 and they are all awesome. These are not religious books at all. You will probably find them in the New Age section. Which by the way must REALLY crack God up!

I've been wanting to throw something out to all of you, just to get some different views on the subject. How would you interpret "the ego must die", and have you put anything of this kind into practice in your life?

Namaste,

Michelle/Chicago

Michelle, to fully understand that quote, I think it would need to be viewed in the intended context. Can you shed any light on this?
Is that from the book you quoted? Have I missed something??!!!

The term "ego" is often misused. It generally denotes something negative, however it can also mean "knowledge, or concept of self", and as such is vital for survival. But somehow I don't think your quote is referring to that particular meaning.

Peter

Michelle, Oh, I forgot to say, the concept of all time existing at once is sometimes called "negative space-time". I found a good explanation of this in the book "A Revolutionary Way of Thinking" br Dr Charles Krebbs.
It may seem hard to get your head around, since we tend to think of everything occuring in a sequential manner, but in a way it's easy and helps to explain the concept of "omniprescence" (as in God, etc). Simply put, if there is no existence in matter and time, but only energy (spirit) then time is meaningless, and from the earthly observers point of view, the spirit is everywhere and for all time, past present and future.

Hmm, did I say it was easy?

Cheers,

Peter

Peter, sorry for the confusion. The quote is not from the books. Just something I've been pondering.

Basically I'm talking about the Buddhist terminology. They refer to Ego as the "fear of death". In essence, a mental construction that OCCURS because someone fears death, but it is not "who we are". By living this Ego-driven life one is left lacking, because fear is all that is within.

And further, we are the only animals who fear death. All the others are not aware of themselves as "being alive".

I take this to mean that we should not become attached to the material world, but rather find our true happiness within. I struggle a bit with the finer points however. I know everyone's journey is unique, that there are people who live totally monastic existences joyfully and others who seem genuinely happy living a more material life. My mind struggles with this. It would be easier if it were more of an either/or situation rather than just being left on your own to find what works for you. But that would be a bit dogmatic and not what I need at all.

I do not fear death. I do have areas in my life that I would like to change that I consider to be ego-driven. I'm finding making those changes to be a truly mournful experience. I really feel that part of me is dying, and it is making me drag my feet. I guess I was surprised to know that the fear that accompanies change has to do with losing a part of myself. I'm working on it.

I guess I just wanted to know if anyone out there has experienced this, or if, as it has been rumored, I'm going a bit mad! I hope this makes sense. After reading it again I'm not so sure.

Any thoughts?
Michelle/Chicago

Ooh, the book by Krebbs sounds like something I would be interested in. I'll look for it tomorrow. I figure if the universe is still expanding, my mind is capable of doing the same.

And now I'm off to bed.

Love to you,
Michelle/Chicago

Wow took over 45 minutes to read all the comments. I've been working some really really long days.
I agree that you have to make something happen for yourself. It maynot happen right away, but you have to plan for it, visualize it, feel it and work it.
Goodonya Paul. So glad to hear about your successes and upcoming opening. Tremendous job...NO MORE LAPTOPS NO MORE LAPTOPS
As for California. I love it out there, however I'm stuck in Georgia, so I'm having to make the besst of it. However, what's happening out there is a travesty but California is not alone. Hell the whole country is freakin confused. People in need can't get help. People illegally in the country can get help. Corporations are giving out jobs to India and China and closing up shop here in the states making our unemployment rate go up up up. What the hell??We export jobs. We export money to other countries to feed their people and what about us??? I've done more than one clients hair this week that is disgusted with it. She's ready to deport herself.
Soap box...yata yata yata
Anyways loved all the posts. A lot to think about. I'm going to purchase Illusions. Sound thought provoking.

peace and love to everyone

And another group hug...they feel great don't they.
We're such a great growing family. PC is a beacon of love.
"Let it shine."

Timmer

Michelle, Thanks for the clarification. Please excuse my lack of knowledge.

I believe that we must find our own way to our own destination, otherwise there is lesser value in the journey. I'm not convinced that the actual destination is really the most important goal.

Death is nothing to be afraid of. My experience in "passing over", albeit very brief (in earthly terms!) showed me that there can be great joy in "death". I don't like that word (death), simply because it suggests something "terminal".
Nothing is ever terminal, it just keeps on changing.

Tim, Good to hear from you! I enjoyed the soapbox.
Peace and love to you too. Stay well.

Peter

I find these posts really thought provoking - some interesting books with thoughts along these lines:

God on a Harley - I'm not sure who wrote it but, great little book

The Education of Oversoul Seven - Jane Roberts - this book was written through Jane Roberts (she channeled it) - it's the first book that got me thinking about parallel lives.

Also LOVE Richard Bach's books - Bridge across Forever is one of my favourites of all time.

Thanks to the "corner" and its posters for getting my brain thinking about all of this again! :)

Just quickly, as my head is hurting from too much thinking lately and spinning, but I want to share my good news for today with you: I finally got a job today, it's a temporary, part-time one for Fall semester most likely with an appointment for Spring pending student enrollment, not quite at my ideal level (still working on that one), but very close and in the frame work of what I had decided Sunday and Monday as very acceptable (I intentionally set the base line rather high!) risky, but I chose finally to listen to my instincts and they were right. I will be teaching in the Fall, don't have to move, will make more money than last year, getting closer to being financially totally independent and hopefully will be able to start paying Mum back ASAP, have more time to explore if academia is where I really want to be or seek out a different teaching environment or different career choice, have more time to explore my professional options outside of the US and thus will be able to make a more informed decision as to where I want to live and have the opportunity now to give the US acadmic job market another chance starting September. Not looking forward to that process, very stressful and draining and quite frankly the last ten months of being clobbered by rejection after rejection have left a mark on me, but for a brief time I'm getting a break :-)))

Diane, thank you for that beautiful story.

Sara, thank you for your response as well. I didn't want you to give me the answers, I know I have to find those myself and will continue to think about it, I guess I wanted to hear more about your own experiences in all of this, but that is a rather personal question, as I realized in hindsight. I might take you up on your offer and contact you outside of this site, but probably not immediately.

I'll read the other posts later, I'm going to relax for a while now and perhaps go to the movies now ... it's been a while.

Love to each and everyone to you!

All right everyone, let's hear it for our Evelyn...

HIP, HIP, HURRAH, CONGRATULATIONS, DARLING, AND BEST WISHES...THINGS ARE DEFINITELY LOOKING UP.. THIS IS THE START OF SOMETHING BIG!!!!

Love,

Grandma and Grandpa

Evelyn, You Bewdy! What great news. It's all up, up, up from here. The rewards will be yours because you are deserving.

Best wishes

Peter

I'm so happy for you Evelyn! I know you've been going through hell these past months, snarky advisors and all. I hope the job is wonderful, and that life starts unfolding happily for you.

Here's to stress-free living!!

Michelle/Chicago

I am a newcomer to this venue From what I have observed (read), it certainly sounds like everyone here has built a realty that is full support, friendship, encouragement and openess. These are small blessings in a world full of worries. Thanks to all for allowing me to share in this.

As far as fear of death, when I look upon the faces of my young boys, I must admit that this when I fear death most. Missing out on one moment of their lives is my biggest fear. If I am lucky enough to dance at their weddings or even luckier to witness the birth of their children, I will be the richest woman on earth...

hey paul i am a big fan of yours and i have a question do you like artist like alicia keys and mya ashanti and beyonce.

Hi everyone

Funny, I have never actually been on a chat room and yet I find myself addicted to yours.

There are a few things I would love to get off my chest - I hope no one minds.

Grandma Mil you have been an angel. I am going through yet another layer of the onion at the moment, and it hurts. Out of nowhere you have been this beautiful, reassuring voice in enails to me. Thank you so so much.

Evelyn - yeah, look I would love to share my story with you - but then I often go to a place in my mind of thinking that no one wants to hear it. Thank you for being so generour. So here is a small part of me -

When I left home I was 14, I moved in with friends and their families. I finished high school that way and then went off to uni. I failed my first year of Arts, was desperately poor but learned how to cook rice 50 different ways. After that I got the "I MUST CONQUER THE WORLD BUG" in my gut and I left uni to find a job. I remembered people telling me that after failing school, failing uni and being a complete basket case from my parents divorce - I would never make in something BIG. So I got myself a job in a law firm as a photocopy girl. I stayed in that job for 3 months and my boss told me that I should apply to get my law degree. After explaining my failures and laughing for hours, I decided that that was how I would conquer the world. I applied not for a law degree, but for a diploma allowing me to practice as a solicitor. I got in with lots of amazing references from my bosses and off I went. After two years of studying law I dropped out, having failed again. Someone was trying to tell me something! By then I had moved law firms and was still an office junior. I met a solicitor who thought there was something other than mush in my head and she convinced me to apply for my law degree. Well, again - my failures came back to haunt me. No right minded university would take me on. After much drinking and partying and being frustrated I decided to try another method. I had been told by one university that I could sit subjects from the law degree without being an awarde student. That meant going to uni, studying etc at night but not getting a degree. I wasn't so sure that there was any sense in it. I also had to pay $2000 per subject (normally only a few hundred dollars). I then spoke to my boss at the time who was amazing, who offered me this - "you find a way of getting that law degree and I will pay for your first year"

Well, money motivates the best of us yeah? So I went to uni, with a plan. I sat my first year of exams and walked away with credits and distinctions. But so what? I still wasn't an award student. So I dragged my sorry arse up to the law faculty and BEGGED for a position. Finally they were convinced that I could at least apply - I had references, years of experience in law firms and I had already passed THEIR first year of subjects.

I was in! For the next three years I studied 5 nights a week in class, went to summer school classes and finished in 1999 with Honours.

THE STORY DOESN'T END THERE - I was a solicitor for two years but still had a feeling of not being good enough, sitting in my gut. So I sat my Bar Exams and I am now a Barrister in NSW. I have been practising for three years.

BUT THEN -

At the end of last year I left my Chambers and moved home. I had experienced the truth of who I was and no longer needed to prove it to me or the world. So now I am a barrister very part time and I work with people who want to create lives full of love and truth.

I guess, along my journey I have had to learn to let go of trying to prove that I am good enough. Everyday I am learning more and more about how perfect all of us are, and how if I am perfect you are perfect. I found my spirit, that part of me, that no matter what I do in my life, will always exist and will always be perfect. I know now that my spirit is infinite and that the spirit within all of us is a part of that infinite perfection, infinite love.

So now where am I? That story I am still working out. I love working with people to peel back the layers of the onion, the more we peel, the more we experience the truth - that our spirits are pure love. I create, I am writing a novel, painting, creating a documentary, have written two short films that I want to get off the ground and I am very in love with who I am.

For anyone who got this far in the reading - thanks for being there.

I look forward to reading more.

Oh, my website will be up soon.

Sara
xx

Congratulations Evelyn, You have beat the odds. With our economic situation right now, so many looking for work. Many degreed and still beating the streets for a paycheck.

As much as I hate going to work on taxes everyday, at least I have someplace to go rather than trying to make a good impression and start another job. Oh, yes those neverending taxes. Just one deadline after another till the end of the year. Nothing like getting the bosses attention than telling him you are taking off in October to go to NO to see the kids and again in December to Phoenix for a week. Really starts him to thinking about how many we still have to do and what all is involved with the big ones still to finish.

All the thoughts are provoking, and books I've never heard of presented as possible reading material for mind expansion. Must go do something creative, Laundry I guess.
Hugs to all,
Sherrlyn

Sara, Thanks for sharing your story.
Give yourself credit for what you have achieved. I'm sure it was not easy, for lots of reasons.
You are now very fortunate to be doing something so positive, which you obviously have a deep passion and talent for. Congratulations.

Sara, Peter's remarks are so succinct, I can't add too much, except to say, you are such an inspiration..your life's story is so touching, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex...I hope one of the projects that you do includes publishing your story so that it may encourage and inspire others.

Josie, just do what you are doing, and savor each moment. The graduations, weddings, births of grandchildren and great-grandchildren will come soon enough, and you will be there, I promise you...how do I know? I've been there, done that!

Love,

Grandma

I have to make this brief, but after scanning messages I feel compelled to address the ego issue. For me ego is something I try to keep to a minimum. It leads to conflict and imagined insults. "How dare he cut me off! I'm Whitney!. How dare she serve me last! I'm Whitney! etc". When I was younger and feared death the most, what I was afraid of was the obliteration of my ego. I would cease to exist forever. How scary: the eternal end of Whitney. Now I'm not so disturbed by the thought of letting go of Whitney. I'm okay with dissolving into the Everything/Nothing. If the world ended right now I would be okay with that and I don't have to exist forever in this form. I like to think there's some sort of awareness after death, but it could just be some sort of group consciousness and that's okay as well.

Another congratulations to our Evelyn. We never doubted you would find a niche here with us. You're family! Of course, if you ever go back to Germany, you continue to be family. You have a bright future whatever may come and I'm very impressed with your personality and your work ethic. You rock Ev!!!!

Goodmorning Mil! I love you.

I'm digging these group hugs too so here's another. Have a kick-booty day everyone.
Love,
Whit

Sara: that was a very inspiring story. ahh the power of faith and perseverance and realizing one's dreams! thank you for sharing...it hit home. :)

Whit: joining in group (((((hug)))))

..one of the first books i read in secondary school that made a spiritual impact was Richard Bach's ILLUSIONS (for me too). I especially loved the beautiful sentiment at the very end about Divine Justice = Mercy (it sort of went against the usual ideas of there being eternal "hell" to pay for sins/mistakes...and that brought tears to my eyes and soul and opened up my heart in a new way and offered a feeling of hopefulness and a freer path to follow and strive for without being weighed down by imperfections or guilt.)

I also liked that reference to the Education of Oversoul Seven...I may have to check that one out. Sounds interesting.

Hugs to all at PC today.
Katalina

Whitney, I sometimes think that exerting a little ego is OK , as long as it's used to achieve genuinely positive outcomes. Compulsive self-obsession is however a bit different, because it usually excludes any real concern for others. Not too many people are really like that, thank goodness.

As for the singular vs group consciousness question, (oh, here goes, I'm probably already considered to be a nutbag, so what does it matter): During my recollection of "passing over", I was most certainly a distinctly separate "being", however I was then drawn into a universal consciounsness (how else can I describe it?) that gave me an amazing feeling of power, knowledge, will, joy...you name it, all things positive. I felt as though there was a "oneness", yet I was definitely still individual somehow.
I hope this helps. Having mentioned this, I fear my credibility has sunk further!

I really have no idea if my experience is the same for everybody.

Peter, don't you know by now that we're ALL nutbags???:):)

I would like to think that the God energy resides in each person's unconscious mind. Learning to recognize it's presence and access it through means such as meditation and dreams is a powerful experience. Allowing it to flow into your conscious mind is life-altering. This collective consciousness flows throughout nature as well. It makes up all the love and light energy in the universe. When we become too self-involved, we take ourselves away from that source. Like a drop of water removed from the ocean, we lose our power, our sense of belonging.

This is what I believe, and it's taken me several years to get to this place. I also believe that humanity must learn to care for each other if we are to survive. We have to operate under the assumption that we are all ONE. I fear what is happening now will only get worse if we don't start living that principle.

One of my main goals in getting away from ego-driven pursuits is to not be so concerned about outcomes. Worrying about outcomes tends to keep me from living in the moment. I find myself always waiting for something that may or may not happen, while my life continues unfolding whether I'm paying attention or not.

I feel really naked putting some of this stuff out there for everyone to see. It's a little scary. Again, just my opinion.

Love and Light to the Corner,
Michelle/Chicago

Peter, I forgot to tell you thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your experience of "passing over" with us. I'm sure sharing something so personal feels a bit risky, but I'm glad you're the brave soul you are and are willing to tell us about all that has happened to you. I feel stronger in my beliefs because of you.

Namaste,
Michelle/Chicago

Evelyn...Super congrats. I know you're so pleased and relieved. Sit back and enjoy it girlfriend. You deserve it. Have a dirty martini for me.

Sara. You're story was such an inspiration. You know that is a lot of my hangup. I've never felt good enough. Long story to that. But it is one of the most damaging things a parent can allow to happen to their child. Allow it and do it. I'm glad you found your true roots. Your life must be one exhilirating moment after another. With a few rough edges I'm sure...but a pleasant sail huh?

Hey Whit. Hey Auntie Mil.
Whit..still trying to get this script finished. But I'm working like a dog. Tuesday and Wednesday I put in 25 1/2 hours. 9 today, 12 tomorrow, 8 Saturday and 5 Sunday. I'm tired...I quit smoking. Yippee. Now the weight.

Later guys

peace and love to all at PC.

Timmer

Sara- Thanks for the amazing story I really appreciate it I feel at times that I am not good enough and I knock myself down and then reading your post it renewed belief in my own self. I have a horrible inner critic I just need to figure out how to expel it once and for all.

Tim-quit smoking that is hard I quit as well and now I have to exercise like a fiend to lose weight, but lungs feel good, hang in there :]
Mercedes

Where I live in Michigan, we did not loose power but where I work, we did. I think it is wonderful how people are responding! It took me three hours to get home last night but everyone was quite courteous and patient. It is re-assuring how Americans can rise to the occasion. Restores one's faith in humanity for sure.

Evelyn...Congrats to you! You have got your foot in the door.

Linda

You guys are absolutely amazing!!! You are a lot more excited than I am about getting a job—I’m going to take a cue from you all. :-) I was more relieved and exhausted and landed in some mental fog. Thanks for being so excited for me. And Tim, I will have that Martini for you, and one each for you and Mercedes for quitting smoking, congrats to you both!—I already can sense a headache coming on from the 3 martinis :]

Sara, thank you for your trust in sharing your story with me/us here. This is incredible!!! As are you!! Going back to uni so many times and making it work for you is amazing, esp. that you were able to leave the label “she’s a failure!” behind you. That’s not an easy thing to do in any circumstance, but I find it particularly difficult in the university system (probably because I’ve been in it for so long now) and there were countless moments when I almost quit, because people told me I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t have it what it took to be there, or because I was so tired of this arrogance and self-absorption that they practice and perpetuate that stifled me and my spirit etc. On that one I listened to myself and made it through and “quit” 3 months and 2 days ago, Ph.D. in hand (am I still counting or what?) What you said about having to let go of trying to prove yourself and finding your own eternal perfect spirit is very powerful and a lot of your earlier posts are making more sense to me now. Trying to prove myself is still something deeply ingrained in me, rationally I know I don’t have to, but in my emotions and thought processes, reactions, responses—different story, but part of my journey.
Michelle/Chicago, what you said in an earlier post about mourning about letting parts of yourself go, even those that are holding you back from freedom, I can relate to that. I’ve had a lot of that lately as well and it’s really bizarre, because I know that letting go of unhealthy beliefs is good for me, yet there is some sort of safety in the old habits and thoughts that make it painful to let go.

[I just looked at how long this has gotten after typing it, sorry, but I'm not sure how to shorten it.] I have a piece of better news to share and with it a part of myself. Hmmm, where to begin? This current segment of my journey is not just about finding a job, it cuts a lot deeper and wider than that and includes pretty much every aspect there is to me, but it surfaced in the job search. ---- Staring at the computer screen and drawing a blank. This is more difficult than I thought, as I’m still sorting the stuff out and trying to make sense of what is happening ----
Thursday a week ago, in the gym, I was angry, frustrated, hurt and confused enough that I decided to have a VERY angry conversation with the divine (whether that is God/god, energy, spirit, universal power, inside of me and outside of me or all of the above, I’m going to call it ‘the divine’ for myself, as it helps me to step away from the teachings of my religious upbringing and is flexible enough to incorporate new ideas as I continue to explore and question such concepts), something I don’t do a lot of—forbidden under my Christian upbringing. I told the divine that I was sick and tired of getting these mixed messages, not getting any clues, having each and every door slam shut in my face, and everything that has happened was evidence contrary to what my instincts were telling me would happen. I ended my angry rant with a demand for a clue, some indication of where I should focus my energy, be that in the US or back in Europe or elsewhere. Granted, I didn’t feel any better after that, but I left it at that.
Next day, I get a phone message from the Department Chair here whom I’ve had many problems with in the past, who has blocked some of my job efforts and stabbed me in the back several times over the course of the past 4 years—a week before she told me there would be something coming my way in terms of a job here, then two days later she wrote me a rejection letter—and she sounded very pleased, “she could now offer me half (!) a course for Fall term” (that’s a 16.5% appointment). This confused me even more, because half a course makes no sense on so many levels and the thought popped into my head if this is the divine’s answer to my demand for a clue, then boy is it cynical and a little later, perhaps this is an indication for things to come and a challenge to me to trust my instincts again and have some sort of faith in myself and my ability to reach that place where I’m supposed to be next and where I want to be. But as I was absolutely confused about what I wanted that to be, listening to so many negative voices in my head that were washing over me and penetrating me like some sort of tidal wave, telling me I was a failure, why had I gotten a Ph.D. in the first place and most of all in a subject that really wasn’t all that employable, how dare I question Christianity and then I got into an argument with my Mum and one of my sister’s about this, and a lot of other things along these lines. This left me totally scared, angry, hurting, feeling like I was going nuts [Peter, while I don’t think you are a nutbag at all, if you are, then you are the most adorable one and I’m very happy to be in your company :-), if you let me] and very aware that I had to make up my mind regardless of how scared I was to make decisions and name the things I need and want. [This by the way is where your response about creating my own reality came in, Paul, and was immensely helpful. Thank you again!] In the middle of contemplating my choices an image and voice surfaced from deep inside of me where I saw the divine sitting and shaking its head, saying ‘If only she would make up her mind and tell me what she wants, what is really important to her now, instead of giving me all these mixed signals herself, THEN I can finally put my energy behind her and make it happen with her.” That day I also got another job rejection letter from a job I thought I really wanted and they ended it in an interesting way, different than the other letters I’ve gotten “… and hope that you find a position appropriate to your career goals.” And the only thing I could respond to that was that I’m not so sure I even know what these career goals are, thus another clue and reminder to name what it is I want so that it can begin to happen. After that all the other voices in my head fell silent and I heard my own voice again, my own dreams and I instantly knew what I wanted for the immediate future, what kind of job offer I would need to stay in the US, which is where I decided I want to stay for the next year (beyond that we will see), made a list of non-negotiables and negotiables and decided that I would have the courage to turn the job down if it wouldn’t meet my minimum requirements and also respectfully submitted it to the divine. Then I talked to my other sister and got a lot of positive affirmation and good advice from her about how to negotiate job offers, because I wasn’t sure if I could trust myself to keep this bad emotional and personal past out of it as I was talking to the Dep. chair, as I was incredibly unstable emotionally that weekend.
Monday morning, I had to talk to the department chair about this job offer she had made and I ended up turning it down, since I could not live on it (boy that was hard!!!) but even harder telling her, who had not cared a bit about me at all and only given me grief in the past, what I wanted and why and at what level of appointment I would be willing to negotiate with her (and my minimum was 4 times higher than her offer), I was shaking so badly on the inside and fighting tears pretty much the entire time (very annoying!), but she didn’t turn me down and we decided to keep talking this week and she would see what she could do, naturally depending on student enrollment, but she didn’t think she could meet my minimum of the two courses. She suggested that I look into some other on-campus employment options (which I had already done) but those I can’t accept because of the rather restricted employment authorization I had applied for with Immigration Services and I told the Chair what the jobs are I am allowed to take and which ones I couldn’t. Then Monday afternoon, I finally got my one-year permanent work permit for the US (I had gotten an interim 3 month work permit from the local immigration office). Tuesday afternoon I was at the on-campus immigration office to straighten out my paperwork and legal status with them and when I got home in the evening I had another message from the Chair, it was very cryptic and I was supposed to call her back, but at that point she was already on her way home. So I waited anxiously for Wednesday morning and this is when she made the offer of the two courses, i.e. she matched my minimum and I told you all about that. Thursday I got the written job contract and that unnerved me a bit again, even though I kind of knew that that’s what they’d do, lots of open doors for them to back out and no security for me, but I signed it anyway, because I really want this job and it feels right. Then I saw the class enrollments for both courses, one is full and the other one still rather under enrolled and if that doesn’t go up soon, they will cancel it and I’m back at square one. So the fear and anxiety surfaced again, but I told myself to look at all the positive things that have happened in three days that seemed impossible 3 days ago, but the doubts were still there.
This morning, as I was writing an email to Whitney about these doubts and fears that had resurfaced, in mid sentence I was disconnected from my internet connection (it’s not supposed to do that when I’m online and has never done this in the past! Ah, so technology fails, the blackouts yesterday are a poignant reminder of that) and I got a phone call from the Dep. Chair again and the only thing she said was “Do you want to teach three courses in the Fall?” My only response was: “What?” (the kind of ‘what’ that is followed by 20 thousand question marks!)—3 courses is a 100% appointment, and after some laughter and discussion of what courses etc. I accepted that job offer. My chin is still dropped down to somewhere close to the floor and I’m stunned by all that happened and how it all happened so quickly as soon as I made up my mind.
For me there are a lot of lessons to be drawn from that experience and what I will make of my journey now, the future (and I :-) ) will tell and create—but this is powerful.

I’ll have to quote Sara here “For anyone who got this far in the reading – thanks for being there.”

Believe in yourself and trust your instincts, know what you want, ask for it and make it happen as well as let things happen in their own way is all I can say for right now. Love and group hug to all!
Evelyn

Okay, everyone, let's hear it one more time for our Dr. Evelyn Meyer:

HIP, HIP, HURRAH,
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE BRIGHT LIGHTS AND SANTA CLAUS,
EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES FOR YOU...FOR YOU..
FOR YOU!!!!!

Your Proud Grandma and Grandpa

It helps to tell yourself that you "stopped" smoking not "quit", You could have one any time you want. You just chose not to. It's a psychological edge. Beware. Smoking burns 100 calories a day.

And the award for longest email message 2003 goes to Evelyn! I loved reading every bit of it.

Good night Mil and All.
Love,
Whit

Peter, I'm just finally reading your post. That experience sounds wonderful. Thanks for sharing. It would be such a waste to lose the many personalities that have lived on our lovely planet. The feeling of unity you describe would be awesome. It sounds as if we can have our cake and eat it too!

Evelyn, what wonderful news! I'm so sorry you had to go through such turmoil to get to where you are, but I guess that is the process that helped you to realize what you really wanted. And yes, realizing what we want and asking for it is a lot of work. The hard part is letting go. Turning all that you have controlled over to the Divine/Universe to see what is given back to you is a scary proposition, but exciting none the less.

You make me proud!

Michelle/Chicago

As always, many wonderful posts here and not enough time to respond to all. Hello Paul, Linda, Sherrlyn, Michelle, Peter, Mercedes, Grandma Mil and everyone else.

Sara, thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes trust and courage to open up to people and share that "shadow" side of self. There are lots of courageous, loving people here and I'm glad you've joined in and offered your experience and support.

Whitney, I'm with you on losing the attachments. Although I also hear Josie as far as fears concerning her children. Josie, I too will be thrilled to be around to see my boys get out in the world and maybe start families of their own. I'm already trying to plan out my "retirement" so that I can be there to help with my grandchildren.

Congratulations, Tim, on giving up the cigs. Keep it up. You will only feel better and better. Just don't try to do everything at once. You'll lose the weight eventually.

Evelyn, Yahoooo! Congratulations on the job and the work permit, but more importantly on allowing yourself to go through the painful and disturbing process and come out whole on the other side of it. I am absolutely thrilled for you!!!

After a few months of research, we decided that the retail flower business was out of our reach in terms of investment and time, not to mention the huge risk in this high-rent area. We've followed another path and just today hired a firm to develop a marketing plan for our in-home tutoring business. We put the questions out there and received nothing but encouragement. Still, it's a life changing decision and I'm trying to adjust to the concept of working full-time out of my home while still doing the other work I do. I guess it's time to let go of something. Hard to know what that is since many of the contacts I've made through other activities will be important to my business. Hmmm. Maybe I've give up worrying.

Paul, I hope you are enjoying to well-deserved cuddle time with your family. Maybe once we get rolling on the business, we'll be able invest in your brew pub. I need a really good excuse to go back to AUS.

Love youse guys,

Diane

Oh, I forgot to tell you that my husband just performed in an episode of a upcoming CBS series called Joan of Arcadia. I'll let you know when it's scheduled to run. He was so happy to be working and he enjoyed the challenge. (Oh, please, let there be more days like that!) And our oldest son has a Nike commercial running. So far, we've seen it on MTV and Comedy Central. (He's a track team member running uphill with a bunch of cheerleaders running around him and cheering him on.)

Goodnight!

Diane

Evelyn, I'm SO happy that things have turned out well for you. Wow, is that an understatement?
The power of the positive...seems to work.
Usually when I'm confronted by some unknown challenge, I'll push on with full confidence (the resourceful kind, not the arrogant) and mostly the synergy will deliver the result I want.
The answers we have, usually outweigh the ones we don't, even if we can't see it.
Further, we don't need to have all of the answers right now. Sometimes we aren't even sure what the questions are. Direction can be very important, but confidence and a strong outlook are paramount.
I'm so glad it has worked out for you. Happy and exciting days ahead. Congrats again, you deserve it.

I don't really consider myself to be a nutbag. And, if anyone else thinks of me that way, then good luck to them. They probably haven't seen what I've seen, or at least, they don't remember it, more's the pity.
Evelyn, yours is always good company to be in.

Whitney, I'm gald it helps. I guess that's the purpose of my message.

Avagoodweekend folks.

Peter

Hi, gang. I'm back from la la land. Had a great time. Everyone was so excited at my return that they turned out all the lights in the northeast quarter of the US. I would have settled for a cake.

Wow, there's so much here I don't know where to start. Makes me think of a quote I saw somewhere, "the faster I go, the behinder I get".

Peter, you hit it right on the head. I have never understood why we should be required to shoulder guilt for things over which we have no control. This is surely one of the major cockups in Christian philosophy that causes thinking people to question everything else.

Melinda, thank you for the kind words but I'm not suposed to make you think; that's Paul's job. I think it's in his contract.

Paul drivel:

Well, you finally agree that there is positive stuff out there. It sure takes you a bloody long time to agree with me. Those pocket protectors work well, no? If you would simply allow that I am right, in the beginning, we could save a lot of time and angst. ;)

Your "I am I..." post jumped out at me as it put me in mind of the title song from the musical about one of my favorite charaters in all of fiction, Don Quixote. Quixote is much maligned, in our culture, as the prime example of a fool. To think that is to miss Cervantes' point entirely. The Don sings:

"A knight with his banners all bravely unfurled, now hurls down his gauntlet to thee. I am I, Don Quixote, the Lord of La Mancha, my destiny calls and I go...".

Go get a copy and play it. Great stuff.

Finally, Paul, your comments of support at -my- windmill tilting are greatly appreciated. I wonder if you realize just how much.

Dennis

Diane, I'm still catching up and read about your good fortune. "Joan of Arcadia" will be a big hit. It would be cool if he could score a regular role. And your son surrounded by cheerleaders! Every guy's dream come true and he's getting paid for it!

It's just my personal opinion, but I think you did the right thing about the retail flower biz. It seems to be the sort of venture that requires a large family and long term committment. By the way, how do you find a good firm to do a marketing plan?

Good afternoon Mil and All.
Love and Lasting Peace,
Whit

Lots of positive energy stirring here!!

Dr. Evelyn...Great news from you! Not only do you have your toe in the door but your whole leg as well. Best of luck to you!

Diane...Get that business plan developed and kudos to your husband and son!

Wishing everyone in the Corner an outstanding week,

Linda

Diane, wonderful to hear your husband will be on CBS...we'll look for him! I don't wear Nikes, but I'll look for your son too if I see the commercials..ain't show biz wonderful?

Dennis, it was a wonder when Linda Eder took "Man of La Mancha" as one of her signature songs...she first appeared in the TV special, "Broadway Ladies" singing it, and it was sensational!

When she came to Florida to perform in person, we paid $50.00 a ticket to see her in concert.
We were very disappointed. She kept turning her back to the audience while talking to her pianist...I guess she forgot she had paying customers out front! She's very attractive, but in this performance she dressed like a frump, and her hair looked liked she had just rolled out of bed...(maybe she had!)

I know I sound very catty, but we paid big bucks to be memsmerized! The lesson here? Don't mess with the senior audiences in Florida!

Have a good week, everyone, and may all our lights stay on!

PAUL, WHERE ARE YOU?

Love,

Grandma

I feel ridiculous writing to someone I've seen in a fi