Paul's Corner

But aren't life and death intimately tied? As soon as you are born you begin to die.

Barbara/NC

"I take up my sword to cut the water; water still flows." (Li Bo, Tang Dynasty)

Sometimes we suffer, but the world remains beautiful. Much love to you.

Karen

Geez Paul, could you pick a subject that's any deeper than this?;) What you're talking about is really at the center of everything. Everything in our lives, everything in the universe.

This much I know; life is a gift. And recently I've decided that we may have a lot more to say about how and when we die as well as how we live.

I've come to the conclusion that I won't believe in a god who is as arbitrary as religions and societies would have us believe. What kind of god would pick and choose who suffers more, or who dies young? It makes no sense to me.

I've never given reincarnation much thought until lately, but it makes more sense to me to think that God set up the program and we as souls choose ahead of time what we would like to get out of this life as well as what lessons we would help others learn. If we were spun off from God and sent to learn how to live as lovingly, compassionately and with as much as empathy as possible over and over again until we have mastered what true living is supposed to be...that would be ok with me. I can't comprehend a life that is no more than a crap shoot. There has to be a reason why people suffer. I would rather think they as souls chose that to further themselves as spiritual beings rather than God just randomly handing out shit as he sees fit.

Recently when the kidnapped Elizabeth Smart was returned home safely I was watching TV and listening to people's reactions to the event. The comment that I heard over and over was that we all needed to realize that prayer works. This is proof after all! Two men on this particular program had sons who had been abducted and murdered. One of them looked in the camera and said, "Are you saying we didn't pray hard enough, or was MY son unworthy of God intervening in some way?" It blew me away. I knew that the higher power I believed in would NOT do that. She could not be that arbitrary.

So I don't promise to pray anymore for intervention from God. I, as a fellow soul send energy that comes from the source that resides in all of us to help you in any way it can. But I still believe that we chose these lives, and that we choose everyday to make them what they are. God's just waiting to welcome us home when we've worked it out down here. No matter how many times we have to do it over. I think God must be very patient.

Damn it Paul, see what happens when you make me THINK about something?

I love life!

In love,
Michelle/Chicago

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over - it became a butterfly." (Anon)

God bless you, Paul.

Sally

I'm sorry about your friend, Richard. I'm sorry for his children, his friends and his family.

I've had a theme running through me lately about trying to live the best life I can. I have, ever since I was a kid tried to live so that I had no regrets. And for the most part, I've succeeded. But that is a big picture issue. The best life thing is a daily, small picture issue. Your post Paul made me realize that this is an even more pressing issue than I was giving it.

The changes that I've noticed in my day are that I'm more patient with the kids, I try to spend more time (or any time at all) doing something for me and I'm trying to be kinder to myself. And I think those are ultimately more important than whether or not it was a good idea to change my major in university.

I'm sorry for your loss but sharing your story has given me the shot in the arm that I've needed to believe that my efforts are for the best. We are probably not going to discover the cure for the common cold or facilitate world peace so the most we can hope for is internal peace. And for some reason that seems to take a lot of effort.

Natalie

(there's that scary music again)

Funny that just this WEEK I was reminded of exactly what Michelle was talking about, but I want to expand.

Sylvia Browne (Psychic/Minister/Author) talks of our choosing our lives, planning it out as to what we're to learn, so each time we come through in Earth bodies, we are gradually gathering the experiences that expand the soul into Oneness with *God*. In this respect, Paul you chose your family and friends, to experience these losses, these highs and lows, etc.

NOW, the interesting part: Death. Sylvia professes that there are 5 "Exit Points" that each soul maps out during each Earth visitation, and at anytime the soul can choose to bugger out and go re-map another life--either they've learned/experienced what they need to, or just miss "Home" so much they design a way for themselves to return to their Family of Light. THIS explains why infants die, why children die, why young adults, adults, and old people die. Think about it...WHAT (thankfully) haven't you suffered yet? REAL living-on-the-street poverty? Drug addiction? A charmed life where pretty much nothing bad or unpleasant--except typical death--occurs? How about abyssmal health issues? But when you SEE someone who is going through this, does your heart ache as IF it were occurring to you? If it does, it's a recognition of a Life Lesson learned from a previous life. If you're annoyed with alcoholics/criminals/whatever, it's because you've yet to experience that for yourself...and oh yipee, it's something you have yet to "look forward" to. ;-)

I can buy into this fact SIMPLY because I have been offered no other explanation that makes better sense to me, nor one that rings within my soul with recognition as much as this one.

The book I am reading is called "Blessings from the Other Side" but you should really read her first two first, as you need to meet her Spirit Guide and learn about how she became who she is in order for you (or at least for me) to give her any credibility.

PS. By MY count, I've passed three of my allotted five "Exit Points" already, in near-miss accidents, one horrible accident and one medical issue. I figure I've got cancer coming up in my 60's -which I'll pass up--and will just opt for the last point possible, hopefully in my 90's. Wouldn't that be nice?

No CHANCE this book was placed into my hands Tuesday by "accident" or "coincidence". No chance in this world or any other. ;-)

Paul, I'll get sraight to it: I'm deeply sorry for the death of your friend Richard and for your own personal loss in losing a dear friend.
Take some consolation: your love for each other is something which can never be finished, not even by death.
Yet, you will miss him immensely.
Was his life really half lived? He sounds like a bloke that filled life to the brim for himself and for those around him. (Quality vs quantity).
However, I feel the same way. Good people shouldn't die early. Yes Paul, it's such a bloody waste and doesn't seem fair.
I hope your sadness passes.

Dhiana, You posted as I did.
That info. is interesting. Thanks for that.
I count two "near misses" that I am aware of.

Be well dear goddess

Sigh. Why am I always the voice of dissent on these boards. I figured I would stay away from politics (for now) because if people want to still believe that Bush stole the election then there is no point in arguing. Now I have to say something about the religion topic. Besides, I know much more about this subject then politics.
I'm not trying to put anyone down regarding their beliefs or opinions but just wanted to add my own.

First off, I'm sorry that you lost your friend Paul. I wish life had easy answers as to why things happen but unfortunately we will never fully understand.

I hope one day you all realize that there is a God who loves you. In fact, He loves us so much he sent his son to die for our sins. That is the only thing a person needs to learn in their lifetime.
God never wanted people to die but because Adam and Eve disobeyed Him then dying became a part of life.
We all have one life to live. Why certain things like cancer, accidents, suicide happen to some and not others is beyond me. I personally am happy knowing that when my body dies my spirit is going up to Heaven to be with God. Why would I want to live this life again when there is a much better place waiting for us.

Anyways, I just wanted to add my two-cents in.

Robin

Oh God, I came back and realized I had not expressed my condolences to you Paul. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Please forgive me, I feel like such an ass.

Peter, I was wondering how you felt regarding whether we choose our lives or not. From what you've shared with us about your time in utero and the way that has affected you, I imagine you might have thought about this more than I and that you would definitely have a unique perspective from which to ponder it. If this is too personal feel free to ignore it.

My questions about spirituality have really come to a boil lately. I feel so unsettled and yet I'm hopeful. One thing for sure, I can never go back to who I was. Not that I'd want to. That's what it means to grow I guess.

Dhiana, I haven't read anything by Sylvia Brown. I've come to a point where I've decided not to read anything regarding the whole life/death thing for a while. I really want to try to find my own truth somewhere inside myself. It's like in the Wizard of Oz when Glinda the Good Witch tells Dorothy "You've always had the power to go back to Kansas". I'm fairly confident I have answers somewhere within me. I just want to go it alone for the time being. I'm hoping meditation helps.

But for now, Chinese food and a movie might do the trick.

Love to you,
Michelle/Chicago

Hi Robin,

Dissent is a great thing. Always say what you believe! I was only posting my own personal beliefs, not the views of the Corner. I'm sure many people disagree with me.

I've been where you are Robin, and it didn't feel like my Truth. I guess we all travel different paths.

I once read that the path to holiness lies through questioning everything, so I'll keep on with the questions for now.

I wish you peace,
Michelle/Chicago

I'm so sorry to hear this Paul, and admire your outlook in the face of it all.

My thoughts are with you and the rest of his family and friends.

Like everyone else, I suppose, fear of death would periodically take hold as I grew up.Usually, it was something that was just too terrifying to dwell on - not existing or equally terrifying at times, the thought of existing forever. Experiencing what?? The ultimate 'fear of the unknown' bringing with it two terrors - certainty (it WILL happen) and unpredictability (who knows when?). I was lucky in that for a long time, I was really only dealing with the theory of death or at least, death at a certain distance. My first immediate experience of death was when my father died five years ago. He was a wonderful father and role model to all of us and a great loss in our lives. The pain of his absence has not diminished in any real way. When it catches me - usually at unexpected moments - it is as real as it was on the day he died. But this is balanced by what I can only describe as his presence which is also at times as real as when he was alive. By the time I lost my Dad, I had begun a 'transformative' experience of my feelings on life and death. Thinking, reflecting, reading, discussing - these all helped. But what drew everything together for me was finding an author John O'Donohue (who I've mentioned here before). He writes books on Celtic wisdom and spirituality. Reading his words and thoughts on life and living was like reading words and thoughts of my own from a past life. For me they carried a truth and a harmony that brought a calm to the very centre of my life.

I would recommend the last chapter of his book Anam Chara to anyone who has lost someone or who is in fear of death for whatever reason. Here are a couple of thoughts from it:

'If you are striving to be equal to your destiny and worthy of the possibilities that sleep in the clay of your heart, then you should be regularly reaching new horizons. Against this perspective, death can be understood as the final horizon. Beyond there, the deepest well of your identity awaits you. In that well, you will behold the beauty and light of your eternal face.'

'You have one journey through life; you cannot repeat even one moment or retrace one footstep. It seems that we are meant to inhabit and live everything that comes towards us. In the understanding of life there is the presence of our death. If you really live your life to the full, death will never have power over you. It will never seem like a destructive, negative event. It can become, for you, the moment of release into the deepest treasures of your own nature, your full entry into the temple of your soul. If you are able to let go of things,a greater generosity, openness and breath comes into your life. Imagine that multiplied a thousand times at the moment of your death. That release can bring you to a completely new divine belonging.'

I think that in this life we are not facing towards the unknown. We are actually in between two unknowns - the one we came from and the one we will go to. At this stage of my life, I believe or maybe I hope that they are one and the same place. And that what we are facing is actually a journey 'home'. For me, this allows me (most of the time) to let go of the fear of death and to get on with living. I'm not saying this could/should work for anyone else, just that it works for me.

Paul - I am sorry for the loss of your friend Richard. I will pray for his family and friends and hope that you will continue to feel his presence close to you.

For everyone here I wish this blessing which concludes John O'Donohue's book:

I pray that you will have the blessing of being consoled and sure about your own death.
May you know in your soul that there is no need to be afraid.
When your time comes, may you be given every blessing and shelter that you need.
May there be a beautiful welcome for you in the home that you are going to.
You are not going somewhere strange. You are going back to the home that you never left.

May you have a wonderful urgency to live your life to the full.
May you live compassionately and creatively and transfigure everything that is negative within you and about you.
When you come to die may it be after a long life.
May you be peaceful and happy and in the presence of those who really care for you.
May your going be sheltered and your welcome assured.
May your soul smile in the embrace of your anam chara.

Best wishes
Mary

Michelle/C: Do we chose our lives or not?
Good question. I don't pretend to have the answers. I can only give you my impressions based on my own experiences, or what (I think) I can remember of them.
I tend to believe that we enter this life willingly and with knowledge of what may be mapped out. We take on an agreement, if you like.
However, I am not convinced that all is pre-ordained. I believe that there is variability in outcome and that this adds to our test, or perhaps our learning curve (evolution).
Beyond that, Michelle,I really don't have a clue. If you work it out, please tell me!!
All I know is that each of us are here for a purpose. I'm not sure what mine is. I thought I did, but I can't be positive. Perhaps there are a great number of them.

All the best,

Hi PC,
PJM: I'm sorry for the losses of the precious gifts of Richard, Russell, & Michael. Each loss we sustain floods our mind with every loss we have experienced. Focus on how they lived and enriched your life. Your journey has been made better because of their presence and how they touched to your soul.

When missing them, place your hand to your heart because that is where they will always be in a safe place untouched by another. They will always be with you in the best part of who you are. No one truly dies as long as someone like you, and now us remembers them.

Some here may know that I work in hospice care, that is I provide end of life care for those with terminal illnesses. So, I see death & dying on a daily basis. I cannot grant my patients the gift of life, but I can provide them with safety & emotional as well as physical comfort. I find that how one lives, is usually how one passes.

I don't ask why because it would not change the inevitable. From the second of birth we journey toward death, & it is that commonality that we all will share. No one ever told me life was fair, so it not my expectation.

So many of my patients have said "I'm not afraid to die....I'm afraid to linger." I would concur with that. When my higher power thinks that my role here on earth is completed, she will tap me on the shoulder and my time here with conclude. My son will move forward with me forever in his heart. As it should be.

Elbows up, head high, feet moving forward.

Michelle -

I didn't want you to get the impression that I thought everyone at PC had the same views. I know you were expressing yours and I respect what you had to say. I find it interesting the different viewpoints people have on this subject. It is an amazing and overwhelming subject matter since everyone has to face death. Thank you for letting me express my opinion on the matter.

Robin

Hey Mate...

I'm so sorry to hear of your recent loss. The losses add up and they do begin to be significant in comparison to the daily stuff. As has already been mentioned, you will always have your friends and your brother in your heart. I would give anything to hear my mom's laugh right now, but I just have to let her outlook on life make me forge ahead. Just as your friend Richard will be there with you on opening night.

As for me, my life is in a flux at the moment. I had an unexpected interview with a C.P.A. firm. Quite a large one at that and waiting on the results. It would triple my income and make the financial side of my life become easy and allow me to do things I love again. I can still do hair on the side, but I can travel aka visit OZ.
Then a surprise came through. I answered an ad for a salon in London. The guy is looking to turn his salon over to someone to run while he goes into semi-retirement. He wants someone with business and salon backgrounds. He wants me to come over. WOW...

Life is life as we live it each day. It's fragile but only as good as we allow it to be.

Aunt MIL...you go girl. Take that turkey out and cook it..so it won't come back. : )

I'm really focusing on living daily and enjoying what I can. That way I don't go back into a severe state of depression. I don't want to go there anymore.

Robin..you're views are noted. We all have our own. And we are all good people and loved by a supreme being I feel confident of that. I'm still not sure why we have to suffer so much, but if we try to enjoy what we have, the suffering doesn't always take the spotlight. Paul is doing so incredibly well now. We all are.

love and peace everyone...

The Timmer

Dear Paul,
I am very very sorry to hear about your loss today. And all your losses.
Words can't express my sorrow, for I lost my mother and my sister a year apart to diabetes. And I miss them very much, I'm reminded of them daily. Especially around the holidays. My sister
loved to make the children happy with gifts and my mother loved to bake. Being Italian my mother would bake enough for the whole neighborhood.
As much as we love our family and friends dying is
as much as a part of life as it is living. My sister was very young and left behind a seven year old son. I believe that their broken bodies are made whole again through the grace of God. And one day we will all be together again and then we will smile at one another whole not broken. No more hurts, no more worries, no more disease. I used to ask God Why? Then I realized that we all have an appointment and only God knows when and why.

Can I please share with you what was printed on the back of my mothers card:

We little knew that morning,
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
You are always by our side,
Our chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

It's not when we die that people will remember us,
but how we lived our lives.

My condolences to Richard's family.

Hello Paul. I too offer my condolences I hope the love you are receiving is comforts you. As for the meaning of life, I haven't come to any solid conclusions. Sometimes I think life has no meaning and that's not necessarily a bad thing. But then to think this is all an accident doesn't make any sense. So, like all the world I still ponder and hope I am using my life in the best way I can. As far as choosing this life...I think we choose as we pass through life not before we get here (that really makes no sense how can we choose before we are born?). I was about to say I wouldn't have chosen to live the way I do, but then it struck me that that is excatly what I did. I got me here, maybe I didn't choose my disease but I made the decisions that got me to where I am today. It's important to accept that.
Peace.

Paul, I'm so sorry to learn you've lost a friend;and you're right, as we get older there sometimes seem to be more loved ones gone than present. Time does help, and the memories become part of us.
Eventually we can speak of the departed with the joy of having known them, but that is small comfort in the immediate agony of grief.
Consider yourself hugged.
Sally aka deltalady

Dear Paul...I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Your tribute to him was touching and I am sure he smiles in knowing what he meant to you.

Thinking of you, Linda

I am sorry to hear about your dear friend. I hope his transition will leave behind all those wonderful things that have contributed to your quality of living.

Death will come one of these days. Its the living that we need to work on.

take care,

I can only add my most heartfelt condolences, as so many have already expressed it better before me. I'm really saddened though for you as you have lost a lot of people close to you recently. You, your family, Richard's family and his friends are in my thoughts. May you find comfort in the wonderful memories that you share about Richard, who truly must have been an awesome friend to you and will continue to do so, just in a different way. I know it takes some time to get used to that.
Love and comfort to you!
Evelyn

I love the ps. you posted here. I keep it up along with the "life half lived" at my computer. Take care.

Hi Paul,

Like everyone else has expressed so much better than I ever could, so sorry to hear of your friend's passing. Had he been ill for quite awhile or was this a complete shock to family and friends? You've had more than your share of hardships and losses. The only thing I can think of to say is that the more we suffering we seem to have, the stonger we become. You've grown quite a bit in the past few years. Learned so much, experienced so much.

Lots of love,

Margie

Ps. Not to be confused with Marge..Welcome, by the way!!

Dear Paul,

My sympathy on the loss of your friend. Good friends are hard to come by and even harder to loose.

Death....
to me... death means no more pain.

For this I am glad. There is much pain. I've been through 4 neurosurgeries in the past 5 years. The surgeries have improved some things and created other problems and pain.

A fond wish of mine is to live one day without pain. It would be awesome. At 38, who'd have thought that would be my wish?

I had just received my Ph.D. a week before being brought down with disabling vertigo in 1997. Since that time, I am not sure how "productive" my life is.

I find that doing for others is the best thing for me, and that by doing .... I have a distraction from my problems.

(Of course, tonight as I watched The Lord of the Dance I did wonder how dancers deal with all their pain.... surely their feet HAVE to hurt!)

We are all finding our way through life. When a friend or loved one dies, it is not for them we have sorrow, but for our own loss.

Best wishes,

Suzanne

Suzanne, yep after a hard rehearsal my feet hurt and I am not bashing them around like those guys in the irish dance arena.

Pain! What a curse hey? I am sorry you have to live with it. My father suffers from chronic pain and has lived with it for the last 12 years or so. I remember staying at his house and being awoken to his cries of agony during the night. There is nothing I can do, or medicine can do, he just has to live with it. I dont know how he does it or how you do it. Perhaps knowing and trusting that by being in the world you do make it a better place may help. Make a difference, shine your light, it is not to be judged by what others have achieved - somethng I sit in judgement on over myself too often - it is to be measured by ones compassion for ones self and thereby for life itself. Be strong and be weak for like the bamboo in a typhoon, it bends but doesnt break.

Yes it is for our own loss for they have in fact gone "home" (where ever that may be )

Love and peace

Hi PJM,
As you may know the #1 thing we do at hosice is pain management. I work with a team of specialists to ensure comfort for our patients. If you feel I can be of assistance with your Dad's chronic discomfort, please email me privately as I would be glad to help.

In this day and age, there is no reason for anyone to be in pain. There are many modalities available, and when used in concert, may alleviate his discomfort.

Janice

Paul-

I'm sorry to hear about your friend Richard's passing.

I agree with Tim. Life is fragile. That is why it can be so beautiful. Imagine if we lived forever. Would we appreciate the little things in life like sunsets, freshly cut grass, children's giggles or the purr of the cat in my lap? Deaths of those close to us and sensing our own mortality brings the little things back into focus.

Kathryn
life is a journey, not a destination. enjoy the ride.

ps Do you know what happened to the guy in the road?

Hello Paul. I add my sympathies for the loss of your dear friend Richard. I know it sounds trite, but I liked the point Dyer made in a book I mentioned previously. He said we were "spiritual beings having a human experience". Though Richard's body is gone his spirit still exists I believe and that comforts me. I hope it comforts you.

So these rehearsals sound tough, but as you said, you were sore when you were a dancing pup as well. The excitement you're experiencing is wonderful and you deserve every moment. Savor it and thank you for sharing, time permitting.

Oh and thank you for the birthday wish! I just saw it today while trying to catch up on your posts. A Cooper's raised to me! I'm honored! I was quite spoiled on my special day with an e-card from Ev and a personal birthday call from my Grandma Mil!!! Life is good.

I confess that I only took the time to read Paul's posts so to anyone else who might have wished me a happy day on November the 17th, I say thank you and xoxoxoxox.
Love,
Whit

Dearest Paul,

I loved your advice to "make a difference, shine your light"...just like Les Kendall said to you in SB, "you have a light in you, boy, let it shine"...and so you have!

I marvel at the compassion shown here, among "all the chickies in my pen." There's no place like this anywhere...

All I can suggest is to live and love each day to the fullest. I always remind my peers that if one can arise each morning, walk to the bathroom without tripping, falling, or fainting, we've had a major accomplishment to start the day! (Feet moving forward, Janice!)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everyone!

Peace and love,

Grandma

As my dad used to say, "Not to change the subject but..." then he'd change the subject.

We had a hard parental weekend. My ten year old daughter went to the state gymnastics championships. Yeah! you say. As did I. We were so excited. Then she went and didn't do very well. She is so stoic and won't show any pain or hurt so it's impossible to comfort her. My husband and I were trying to spin it for her. It's her first time, we've heard the judging is tougher, it's wonderful that she did so well in her first year at this level etc. I finally just hugged her but nothing seems to work. It's so frustrating and painful for me to think that a ten year old feels that she needs to go through this by herself.

The irony is that I have a 12 year old son who emotes like there's no tomorrow. I would like to even them both out a bit.

Now I have to go and get the dog out of the doggie hotel. I've missed her. It's a lot easier to parent a dog then it is a child.

Natalie

Could someone please explain the significance of "Thanksgiving"?

Hi Peter,
Story goes that after the Pigrims arrived at Plymouth Rock (Mass. Bay Colony) when they had no food left to speak of, our Native Americans shared their own food with the English transplants and voile: The First Thanksgiving. I'm thinking it didn't become a national holiday until FDR declared it so. We give thanks for what we have (or maybe haven't in some cases!!)

Natalie: I have an older brother, and he could speak to me with much better results than my parents could. Enlist his help. For you and dad, just BE there for her, and tell her how proud of her you both are. Just love her up!! How about grandparents??

Elbows up, head high, and yes Gran Mil: feet moving forward....always forward.

Happy B'day Miss Whit!

Janice

Janice, thanks.

Paul,

I wish I knew some words to comfort you and (with respect to your own loss) even more to comfort his sons, but I do not.

I wish I knew that he went to a better place, but I do not.

I wish I knew that this was his time and this happened for a reason, but I do not.

I often visit India and I see the children in the slums. They seem to cling so strongly to a life that gives them so little. I wish I knew why, but I do not.

I think of Michael, (Yes; I knew him) and I wish I knew why he gave up a life that offered him so much, but I do not.

I’m going to deal with loss by living my life as the best person I can. I’m going to treat others as I would like to be treated, not for some reward in an afterlife but because it is simply right. We are (all of us who share this planet) in this together and we are all on the same team, even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes. We each bring something special and unique to that team, something that no-one else can.

Goodbye Richard. Your team mates will miss you.

Dear Paul,

I am sorry to hear of your father's chronic pain. I think it almost "takes one to know one." Now, I can notice a person walking with just a bit of a tilt or notice they favor an arm and am much more aware of other's pain.

At one time I bought the doctor's talk that no one need live in pain. I suppose in a way that is true. One can either float through an opium dream of pain killers that make one sleep all the time and make time have no meaning, or one can take the pain and feel life. Perhaps that is why so many become addicted. I try to walk a tight rope between the two. I hate the medication, but it either the evil of the pain medication or the unrelenting pain that allows no thought or sleep.

I like your saying about the bamboo. You often talk of emotional pain and loss and have experienced much. Lately, I have really enjoyed a song by a Hawaiian, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, in his album, Facing Future, in which he combines two songs, What a Wonderful World and Somewhere Over the Rainbow, into such an inspiring song of hope. One part talks about how "I hear babies cry.... they'll learn much more than we'll ever know." I think you and your girls would enjoy it.

I have two boys, 6 and 12, and they bring me great joy and to think, they will have a whole new world open to them, helps.

Best wishes on rehersals,

Suzanne

Hello, I haven't posted in quite a long time but I stop in ocassionally to read posts and get insiration. I'm glad to see your career is picking up again. I just read the interview about the Stristly Ballroom behind the scenes ordeal. I felt particularly touched by your last post that I felt like saying a little something. It's a terrible thing to lose someone that you care about and admire and its almost a feeling of guilt that you have when you realize that by losing someone you love it helps you to appreciate what living and dying is all about. It makes you feel bad that someone had to die to help you understand what living should be about. Not the everyday set backs but the simple appreciation for life and nature around us that we lose sight of in the daily routine. I know that when I lost someone very important to me, it made me take a step back and really see the world around me and my part in it. I still am not sure what that is or what it should be but losing a loved one really makes you look very hard at what life really is. Love and Suffering...and no one is spared from either. It's a beautiful thing and very hard all at the same time. You give good insights into the spirit and you're always trying to learn what you can and pass it on. People are touched by that and they will remember you, whether its from your work as an actor or dancer or as a person simply trying to make his way in the world and doing the best he can.
Sallie

Who sings the song? Is it Sly and the Family Stone?
"I just want to celebrate (yeah, yeah) another day of livin'. I just want to celebrate another day of life!"

Have a wonderful beautiful day everyone!!

In the South Bay of Southern California it's about 72 degrees and SUNNY!!!!!!

Love to all...

Margie

wishing you a heartfelt condolence on the loss of your friend Richard, Paul.
thoughts of peace and ease being sent your way and to his family.
Good Journey ...Home (wherever that may be, as you put it.)

hug to you and to all at PC today.

Katalina de Seattle

Here is another poem for you.
1. Slow down; God is still in heaven. You are not responsible for doing it all yourself, right now.

2. Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past. Rest there.
Each moment has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.

3. Set your own pace. When someone is pushing you, it's OK to tell them they're pushing.

4. Take nothing for granted: watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves blow, your neighbor mow.

5. Taste your food. God gives it to delight as well as to nourish.

6. Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set.
They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.

7. Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn, or possess.
God's gifts just are; be grateful and their purpose will be clear.

8. When you talk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next.
Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.

9. Talk and play with children. It will bring out the unhurried little person inside you.

10. Create a place in your home...at your work...in your heart...where you can go for quiet and recollection. You
deserve it.

11. Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't a luxury; it's a necessity.

12. Listen to the wind blow. It carries a message of yesterday and tomorrow-and now. NOW counts.

13. Rest on your laurels. They bring comfort whatever their size, age, or condition.

14. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words.

15. Give yourself permission to be late sometimes. Life is for living, not scheduling.

16. Listen to the song of a bird; the complete song.
Music and nature are gifts, but only if you are willing to receive them.

17. Take time just to think. Action is good and necessary, but it's fruitful only if we muse, ponder, and mull.

18. Make time for play-the things you like to do. Whatever your age, your inner child needs re-creation.

19. Watch and listen to the night sky. It speaks.

20. Listen to the words you speak, especially in prayer.

21. Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders.
There will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.

22. Divide big jobs into little jobs. If God took six days to create the universe, can you hope to do any better?

23. When you find yourself rushing and anxious, stop. Ask yourself "WHY?" You are rushing and anxious. The reasons may improve your self-understanding.

24. Take time to read the Bible. Thoughtful reading is enriching reading.

25. Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and efficiency. The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning, not the one who finishes first.

26. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one.

27. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now.

28. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.

29. Take time to wonder. Without wonder, life is merely existence.

30. Sit in the dark. It will teach you to see and hear, taste and smell.

31. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the invitations. Less really can be more.
>
> 32. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do - but oftenit is the best.

33. Take a walk-but don't go anywhere. If you walk just to get somewhere, you sacrifice the walking.

34. Count your friends. If you have one, you are lucky. If you have more, you are blessed. Bless them in return.

35. Count your blessings - one at a time and slowly

Just caught up on the posts and would love to respond but I am exauhsted exaushted exsauhsted.... you know what I mean.

Thank you all for your thoughts on Richard, sadly I think he was ready to go - ready on that level that we dont really know about but the soul does. He was only 53, way too young but I think he had had enough. Sad.

Natalie, is your daughter a scorpion?
exhausted... my wife just told me how it went, she knows and I am feeling it.

Brian, you will have to tell me about you and Michael and also about your email address - sound like a dod or counterstrike type refernece. perhaps? Well said by the way!!

Janice thank you for your offer. It would seem that perhaps some peolpe are destined to live with pain - perhaps that is their lifes choice. It can be physical, emotional, spiritual. Or perhaps their lifes choice is to learn by it, through it, deal with it or come through it. I dont know, I guess it is different to each person and for each person.

My Dads physical pain is a reflection of his inner pain and saddley it may be too late for him to change enough to fix that problem although he has certainly tried in various ways. As for the physical side he has visited the Mayo Clinic twice, undergone pain therapy and pain management
sessions, tried EVERTHING but to no avail including three nerve block operations over the last couple of months - all sadly failed. He is now considering having his leg cut off but I am sure somewhere in his mind he must be concerned about the effects of phantom pain - thinking about this he may really hate me even talking about his business so I will stop now. No one should have to live in pain or with pain but many people do, the alternatives somehow seem to be even worse.

Suzanne I truly hope you find the right and the best balance for yourself. I know it is a nightmare at times. I send my thoughts and love to you and may the nightmare times come less and less until they come no more.

To bed now and then off to sing and dance and act away another day tomorrow. I wonder what pain I will find myself holding on to tomorrow. What will you find?

Ps thanks for the poem Marge.

Hi Paul,

Before she retired, my mother was a school teacher.

I think every school teacher remembers a special year and one or two special students who define their whole career.

For my mum it was 1976 when she was teaching grade seven in a kind of rough school at North Lake and the two students were Darren Spowart and Mike Mercurio. The previous year she had been given a class full of all the trouble makers at the school and that year she was given the bright/good kids by way of a make up.

I don’t remember why now, but my own regular school was closing for a while and students were being sent to other schools or staying home. Instead of staying home alone, I kind of transferred into my own mother’s class at North Lake. I was the right age. It took about 30 seconds for Darren, Mike and me to become best friends. When I went back to my old school we all promised to keep in touch and we did for a while. You and I have bumped into each other a few times and I can remember the two of us playing the clarinet together at your house on one occasion but we never had any particular connection other than though Michael.

I can’t remember whether I met your mum at your house or whether it was when she was helping Clyde Selby out with drama classes at school. I don’t know if that name or my mother’s (Sue Crosse) means anything to you and I don’t even know if you went to North Lake yourself or if it was just Mike and Joe. I have to confess that while my mum still talks about Joe, I can’t remember him at all. Mum tried to help Mike get into John Curtin and I guess you were already there by that stage.

That’s about all there is to tell except for the fact that I’ve kind of followed your career because you were “Mike’s Mercurio’s big brother”.

I can’t reconcile the Mike that still lives in my memory with what happened. I don’t understand why he did it and I’m (I’m crying while I write this) angry with him for not calling me up even if we hadn’t seen each other for twenty years and he could have just said “I need to stay with you for a few weeks while I get some stuff sorted out” and whatever was driving him to think that doing that to himself was some kind of solution could just get left behind.

Why the fuck didn’t he call me????!!! Why the fuck didn’t he just pick up the fucking telephone and call me????!!!

Suzanne - when I sat at the computer tonight, I was feeling very low. I have been through a long haul with my son over the last few years and today has been one of those days where there seems to be only confusion ahead. I need the wisdom to help him make an important decision and the courage and emotional energy to help him to carry his decision through. I felt I had neither. Reading your first post here helped me to remember that difficulties in your life are always relative and that there are always others in a much more difficult place. I feel great admiration and respect for how you are dealing with the pain in your life. I know I could not be as brave. You say you are not sure how productive your life is now. Well in my opinion, having a positive effect on another is one of the most productive things you can do. Today you've done that for me and who knows we could be thousands of miles away from each other!
I hope your two boys continue to be a source of joy and hope for you as they grow. Thanks.

Paul - I was curious about you asking Natalie if her daughter is a Scorpion. Like her, my son finds it very hard to release any emotional pain. He is a Scorpion and I was wondering is this one of the traits associated with this sign?

Hoping everyone here is well and in good spirits.

Take care
Mary

Brian - he didnt call me either. The problems and the pain he faced were far deeper than " a couple of things to sort out" I wrote a poem about whathe may have been thinking. It has helped me and some other come a little way to understanding the why - but only a little way, I dont think that you can actually go much further than a little way in. It is the peotry section if you care to have a look. Best things is to remember the Mike that was your freind for he will never change and what you had then was important to both of you.

The school was Coolbellup Primary and yes I and my sister Connie went there also. Luckily we all went to John Curtain High as part of their drama scholarship. Where did you go?

Mary, I guess it is cheeky of me to suggest that Natalie's daughter may be a scorpion. My daughter Emily is a scorpion and by brother was and my sister is. They tend to be more hidden with their thoughts and feelings. You can see they are thinking and or feeling things but getting what is on their minds or what is bugging them out is not that easy. Generally they do it in their own time. However they need to get it out and my wife and I have found gently supporting her to do so usually gets results. Leaving her alone I dont think is great - give her space but in some ways she needs more support because she feels she have to do it on her own, so by being there for her, gently, she feels she is still doing it on her own but leaning on you just a little and so she feels loved and nurtured.

I don't know if this is good news or bad but Erin is a Taurus. Whatever it means she drives me, a Pisces, crazy. I'm sure we'll work it out by the time she leaves home. ;-)

On the flip side she did all of the shopping for Thanksgiving today when the crowd was unreal. I gave her the list and by the time I met up with her (I had an appointment nearby) she was all done and had gotten everything. Not bad for a ten year old. She is so unbelievably helpful I can't even tell you.

Take a moment to give thanks for the good in your life.

Natalie

Dear Paul,

Thank you for your warm thoughts on this eve of Thanksgiving. I do have so much to be thankful for. Does Australia have a similar holiday?

As to your father, a dear friend (and mentor)had her leg cut off last year due to infections that did not react to antibiotics, complicated by diabetes. She was in incredible pain after the removal of the leg, and sadly, never recovered, and asked to be taked off dialysis and died peacefully at the age of 58.

Does your dad connect to the internet? Perhaps he can find a support group for his condition? From your short discription it sounds like the pain is at least partly central nervous system related, and this pain is confusing and unrelenting. Unfortunately, this is the hardest to relieve as well.

I have a physiatrist (a physical therapy physician, a rare MD found usually associated with spinal cord injury centers) who is my pain management specialist. He is a wonderful man from Vietnam and worth his weight in gold.

Last week I got 7 botox injections. Now, I have an incredibly wrinkle free back. One of the surgeries irritated the trapezeus muscle and it has been in spasm for 3 years. (You think it would get tired of it by now, wouldn't you?) The botox does help though.

The Mayo Clinics are good, but not necessarily the "experts" on every condition. Has he researched his condition? If not, it may be worth his while. I'd be willing to help do some searches if he would like.

Best wishes,

Suzanne

my current favorite quote is by Henry David Thoreau. When asked to comment about the afterlife, he said, simply,
"One world at a time."

p.s. tommorow (new york time) is my birthday! which means everyone in the usa is celebrating thanksgiving on the day of my birth!
pss. i'm a "strictly ballroom" fan, so it was cool to see you had a sight. how neat that you talk to the world!

I’m sorry I dumped that on you Paul.

I only found out about Mike a few weeks ago and it’s still too fresh for me to let go easily. I tried to call Darren but there are no D. Spowarts in the phone book. I’m not even sure about the spelling.

My memory of my childhood is a photo album with pages missing and stored out of order. Okay, the metaphor doesn’t quite work because some of the “photos” are short movies like Clyde Selby singing “I’m a little teapot” in front of the class, looking like if you laughed at him, he’d blow you a kiss and say “Don’t be bitchy” or watching your dad on TV wearing a fairy tutu outfit, looking like you could laugh WITH him about it, but if you laughed AT him about it, he would rip you in half with his bare hands and go to work with pliers on the remains. (not that I ever met him obviously).

I couldn’t tell you how far apart in time those two things happened, but they’re next to one another in my head. I may already have lost touch with Mike by the time I saw the advertisement. I don’t ever remember talking about it with him. Maybe I was just scared he’d tell Gus that I had made fun of him!

[For any other PCers reading this, Gus looked about as suited to a fairy outfit as Liberace would have been dressed as Rambo]

I can’t understand how anybody can write an autobiography and make the pages all fit together in any sensible way.

Have you ever read Stephen King’s “Stand By Me” or seen the film? When the grown up Gordie has finished writing about his childhood, the final words he types are “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” Then he turns off the computer and returns to his adult life.

simply one of the best movies ever...Who can forget River Phoenix at the end of the movie saying "not if i see you first!"

later all

Paul, I join others here in offering my sympathies to you and condolences to Richard's family at his passing. It does seem like a terrible waste, like the recent passing of a two-year-old boy (as reported in today's paper) from a terrible genetic disease. His two siblings face a similar fate. But we cannot know the reasons for the passings of our friends, family and even strangers. I tend to agree with Michele and Dhiana that there is some sort of pre-planning involved in how we launch our lives and for what purposes.

Natalie, please give your daughter an extra hug from me and tell her I said "good show". Taking a performance beyond the confines of an existing safe environment (the gymnastics studio) takes courage. She should be congratulated for her courage. And because we're human, our performance varies. Maybe this wasn't her best performance, but I wish her many more successful efforts. I am very impressed with her ability to follow through on your instructions and shop for you.

Peter and Janice, I heard a report on National Public Radio today that the traditional Thanksgiving feast as we know it today was actually established around the time of the U.S. Civil War to try to unify the nation and prevent possible succession by the South. While it is true that the English who survived the first Mayflower voyage and landed in Plymouth, Massachussets, did share a meal with the Native Americans, it was not the turkey feast we now recognize. At the original meal, the natives outnumbered the English two to one and the meat served was venison.

Happy Birthday, Jessie!

Mary, I wish you wisdom and joy with your son.

Suzanne, I hope you can find some remedy to your pain. I wish the same for your father, Paul.

Thanks for the poem, Marge. I'm running out of wall space, but I'll have to find room to post that.

I give thanks for this space to connect with you all. Thank you, Paul. Thank you, Cat. And thanks to all my friends here. Whether or not you recognize the day as "Thanksgiving", I wish you a wonderful day.

Diane

Thank You Marge for that beautiful poem.
It touched my heart. Your poem is everything I think and believe in, and sometimes have to be reminded of how I need to live my life.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Have a Blessed Day!

To Patricia

I posted 2 poems. The first one was "If you could see where I have gone". and the other was "Move Slower". The first one is the one I treasure most

Dear Paul

I posted two poems. I hope you found the one that starts "If you could see where I have gone". This was for your friend Richard. I too have lost people close to my heart. I sat with my mother in '98 and my husband on 2000 watched them go to that special place. How tall are you? Will the Full Monty production be coming to the States?

Paul - your words gave me great comfort tonight. I have always found my son Paul to be more complicated and difficult to reach than his brother. In describing the traits of a scorpion and your daughter Emily in particular, you have managed to verbalise how I have found my son to be. Your words gave me a rounded picture of a personality rather than a list of separate parts. They brought clarity and relief.
What has complicated everything for him is the fact that his Dad left the home ten years ago when he was seven, moved two hundred miles away and into a new relationship two years later and then had another son. His anger and pain at what he sees as his father's betrayal has coloured so many years for him since then. It lay hidden for a long, long time somewhere deep inside him. So deep - I don't think he was even aware of it. When I'm feeling low, I tend to feel bad about the fact that this remained hidden to me also for a long time. I was trying my best to deal with my own pain and to keep the three of us going. By the time I copped on, I feel a lot of damage had been done. Only in the last few years through the measured support and the gentle coaxing to open up that I found worked best have we started to make progress. His Dad has always kept up contact with our two sons. He sees them regularly and rings them most nights. What is frustrating for me is that he is not tuned in to where Paul is at, despite me trying to tell him what I have discovered about him - and tends to favour the 'bulldozer' tactic with very good intentions. This just doesn't work and tends to set things back. At the moment we are going through a difficult patch but as Paul and I can now discuss, these times tend to push him forward another bit as they fade. As always I will encourage him to look to the future.
I wish your daughter Emily all the best in her life. She is very lucky to have two parents who are so clued into her. Again - thank you.

Diane - thank you also for your kind words.

Take good care everyone
Mary

Mary, Paul is so lucky to have you. And you he and your other son. Being a parent is tough at the best of times but being a single parent is twice as tough. Do your best, as I am sure you do, be honest and honour those important to you- your sons. It sounds to me you are doing a great job!

I surprised myself last night - my 14 year old came home from a party at 11pm (dropped off by another friends mother) all very innocent, 14 year old parties but they are the precursor to the less innocent parties to come. Anyway Elise lay on our bed and we talked about the party and things and kids and school and stuff... and then I blurted out "geez your lucky Elise, I wish I had had a Mum and a Dad to come home to and talk to." What surprised me was how much I meant it. I had and have a great relationship with my Mum, I used to sit on her bed and talk to her about the same things my wife and I talk to Elise and Emily and Erin about. I love being a Dad and I love sharing being a Dad with my kids. The little boy in me really missed that, the adult that I am still misses that. I have a fine relationship with my Dad now but it is not, can never be what it could have been or what it should have been. That moment is lost forever and yes part of me is angry about that and part of me is sad about it and in some ways part of me is less for that. I am working on being the Dad I would have liked to have and hoping and I do feel that being that is healing the "less" part of me.

In short you can only be the best you are and do the best you can. Your and Paul's relationship will be all the more special for it. But the lack of a Dad, the abandonment felt and the betrayal of leaving are things Paul must deal with and like many things in life will always leave some scar. I hope it is only a tiny one.

Working through it, talking about it, honouring the feelings and throwing out those that serve only the anger and the negativity.

I wish you all well.

Marge, where did you post the poems?

I hope everyone in the U.S. had a delightful Thanksgiving!

Marge...What a moving poem! I will print it and post it somewhere to read everyday. I struggle to gain more mobility each day. I know many in the Corner struggle with back problems. I had a pinched nerve that did stop hurting but then advanced to losing feeling on the right side of me! So I agreed to surgery - hate anything this invasive. It seems to have helped but yikes the journey back! Your poem is something for inspiration. Thanks.

Linda

Paul, you have given me a lift and I needed it badly. Thanks.

Mary

Hi Paul,
Here's the poem:

IF YOU COULD SEE WHERE I HAVE GONE

If you could see where I have gone,
The Beauty of this place,
And how it feels to know you're home
To see the Savior's face.
To wake in peace and know no fear,
Just joy beyond compare,
While still on earth you miss me yet,
You wouldn't want me there,
If you could see where I have gone.

If you could see where I have gone,
Had made the trip with me,
You'd know I didn't go alone,
The Savior came with me.
When I awoke, He was by my side,
And reached down His hand,
Said, Hurry, Dear, you're going home
To a grand and glorious land.
"Don't worry over those you love,
For I'm not just with you,
And don't you know with you at home,
They'll long to be there too?"

If you could see what I've been shown,
You'd never know another fear,
Or ever feel alone,
You'd marvel at the care of God
His hand on every life,
And realize He really cares,
And Bears with use each strife.
And that He weeps when one is lost.
His heart is filled with pain,
But,oh, the joy when one comes home,
A child at home again.

If you could see where I have gone,
could stay awhile with me,
Could share the things that God has made
To grace eternity.
But, No, you couldn't ever leave,
Once Heaven's joy you'd known,
You couldn't bear to walk earth's paths
Once Heaven was your home.

If you could see where I have gone,
you'd now we'll meet some day,
And though I'm parted from you now,
That I am just away.
And now that I'm home with Him,
Secure in every way,
I'm waiting here at Heaven's door
To greet you some sweet day.

Author Unknown

These words placed here in loving memory of Michael, Russell, Richard and the beloved of all on PC who are no longer among us.

Janice

Hi Paul
Janice Duke also posted the poem "If You Could see Where I have gone" (this poem was given to me at my husband's memorial service)I posted it earlier for you, and the other one I posted is called "Go Slower" (November 26) I hope the first poem will give you comfort in your loss of Richard, your brother and your third friend.

Paul and all,
Those feelings of abandonment never really go away, do they? My daughter had a rough time recently becuse her b/f had to go out of state to find work, and their lease isn't up yet, plus she is still working where they have been living. Her father, my ex, left us by taking jobs away from us and then eventually just not coming back. So that fear, that he wouldn't come back, reared its head. (Her b/f did, in case you're wondering.)

My mom felt abandoned as a daddy's girl, when her father died when she was just 10.
I remember so clearly being about 7, in a year that saw my little brother in the hospital for open heart surgery, and my dad in twice for surgery. I was staying at my best friend's next door, when one night I heard someone bring my mom home from the hospital. I marched out and told the adults I was going home to sleep in my OWN bed, and I did.
I think that feeling is almost universal, no matter how secure we are, it's easy to kick it into gear.
As far all the religious references, Mother Teresa evidently felt abandoned by God for most of her life,make of it what you will.
hugs to all,
Sally aka deltalady

Dear Paul,

I get the feeling that you like poetry. Yours speaks from your heart. I will be happy to share some with you from time to time. I have saved them in a folder.

Take care,
Marge

Warm greetings to all!

Paul, it's wonderful that you and Andrea have the relationships you do with your daughters. We feel blessed to have similarly good relationships with our sons. As we sat down to Thanksgiving dinner with our sons, their very dear friend and his parents, Jacob reminded us of a tradition we started a couple of years ago. Each of us listed the things for which we're thankful. They weren't "things" at all, but the relationships we have with one another.

It can take years to get past the anger and pain of abandonment (physical, mental, emotional) of a parent. You miss experiences that other kids have with their mom or dad and you feel so incomplete. But Paul, I'm sure you are healing that angry/sad little boy inside you even as you strive to be the father you didn't have. (A therapist once counselled me to "mother" that child in myself.) In fact, you are probably a better father than some men who never had your challenges because you are sensitive about the choices you make with your children and being a great dad is a priority with you. You and Andrea show care and respect for your daughters by being present in body AND mind when they come to you, as do Allan and I with our sons. So far, the dividends are great.

Mary, I continue to send prayers and good thoughts to you and Paul and your other son. Parenting is a tough job even when both parents are present and we all make mistakes. But you have had an Herculean task and you deserve heaps of praise for holding it all together. Though it's hurtful now that Paul's father can't give him what he needs, with your strength and courage, Paul will learn to fill in those blanks for himself in healthy ways.

Mary, I raise a glass to you and all the other moms here who are raising or have raised children by themselves. (That includes your mum, Paul.) You are amazing women!

By the way, Michelle (CHI), I believe as you do in sending my best thoughts and energy through the Creator in order to help others. That is what I call prayer. I don't believe in a G-d that answers some peoples' prayers and not others'. We can't control anyone's choices and we don't know what the "right" outcomes should be. Rather, I feel it's appropriate to ask for intervention that is in the best interests of the one for whom I prayer.

I hope this finds everyone at the Corner enjoying a lovely weekend.

Love,

Diane

Hello gang. Just checking in. I'm trying to keep up with the posts but between working, cleaning, shopping and parenting I'm flat out. Every year I keep saying I won't be in retail next Christmas season. Yeah right. I love my job too much. I really do love seeing all my regular customers and I love that they are happy to see me too. Keep well all, lots of love to Katalina, Peter, Tim, Our Mil, Whit, Michelle in Chi town, and everyone else on the ever expanding corner!!!

Hello Paul and to everyone at the corner!

Sorry that I've been away too long from you all. I've been very busy with work.I am sure I am some what forgotten. However,I have not forgotten you. :-) I have really missed you guys. :-( I am working on getting a pocket pc.
It has really been too long. I hate being away from everyone here at the corner.:-(

Paul I am sorry for your loss. May you be comforted and always remember that when someone we love leaves this world in body, the life of them (their memories)lives forever in our hearts( their smile, hugs, jokes, support and love for you).Enjoy those golden moments. My love and hugs to you on your new journey. I am so proud and happy for you. Although I am too young to be your parent, I am overjoyed by your accomplishments(teary eyed)as if you were my very own. I hope to see you someday soon in action. Perhaps one day soon we all may get the chance to have that cup of coffee, tea, beer, or wine together somewhere at the other end of the rainbow. Where you are! Looking forward to it!:-)

Hello to all the people I haven't met yet, but
I am looking forward to meeting!
Missing you all too much!So,Here's a hug for now!Smooches!;-)

love always!
Kei

Dear "Chickies in My Pen"...

I came across this while being mesmerized (again) by Natalie Wood and Warren Beaty in the 1960 film, "Splendor in the Grass" on HBO this weekend.

(What makes it more poignant is that Natalie Wood, who hated water, drowned at the age of 43,
mysteriouly disappearing off her yacht, named "Splendor" while on an evening cruise with her husband, Robert Wagner, and actor Christopher Walken.)

The themes of "Splendor in the Grass", (and the acting) have become more relevant with the passing years, and the snipet from William Wordsworth's "Intimations of Immortality" hopefully can be part of this thread...

"..Though nothing can can bring back
The hour of splendor in the grass,
Of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find,
Strength in what remains behind..."

Wishing all of you love, strength, and peace,

Grandma

Diane - your kind words and good wishes mean a great deal to me. Over the last couple of days, I have experienced a feeling of hope that I have not felt for a long time. My prayer for you and Allan and for all those here who are raising children with a supportive loved one is - may it always be so and may a protective and healing light always surround your family and keep it complete. Thanks.

Paul - as a follow-up, I just want to let you know that you have helped us a great deal. Over the last couple of days, Paul and I have talked a lot about the words that you wrote. In some way, you have restored his faith simply by taking the time and effort to write what you did - he just couldn't believe it. You have also helped him by talking about your own feelings and experience and by putting into words things that he feels and yet finds difficult to express even to himself at times.

You have also helped me by giving me a fresh and new momentum. Your words of advice and encouragement were uplifting and wise. They are worth remembering. And I will remember them, particularly at the times when I feel I am 'going it alone' and have to trust to my instincts and ability as a parent.
My wish and prayer for you today is that the part of you that is a father will be a place of wholeness and joy for you throughout your life. May it shelter and heal the son in you.I also pray that your three girls will always realise and appreciate just how lucky they are to have you as their Dad.

From this family, a sincere thank you.

Sending good wishes to all at PC today.

Mary

Hi PC,
This a verse from a poem called For the Fallen written by British poet Laurence Binyon:

They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn,
At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We shall remember them.

Janice

Hello my friends. Here's something I read yesterday that made me think about all that I question regarding life, the universe, and all the rest:

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.
Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers."

That quote is from Letter to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke. It is a reminder to me that I don't have to make myself crazy wondering about EVERYTHING, including why things are the way they are and what it all means. It's ok just to be still. Just to be.

This weekend I made some ornaments for my Christmas tree. I got miniature brooms that actually look like Firebolts and wove scarlet and gold ribbons around them for Gryffindor! I noticed in the first Harry Potter movie that they had little brooms on the tree in the common room and I've been thinking about them ever since. I'm pretty sure no one else in my neighborhood has brooms on their tree. So what else is new?;)

Hey back to Diane and Inn and all the Corner. Special greetings to Paul, who brought us together.

Love and Light,
Michelle/Chicago

Mary,
I wanted to comment on your ex-husband's "bulldozer" approach to parenting. I think I heard the pain in your voice when you talked about that and I wanted to say that I understand. My husband and I have been parenting for twelve years now and sometimes I want to cringe at how he handles things. He loves his kids (we have three) more than anything and wouldn't hurt them for the world. But I think he is way to hard on them - at least the boys. Anyway, what I have come to know is that even though I think he's too hard I know that it is what the kids need. It isn't the way I would say it or do it but I think it is a valid message for them to get. That's one reason I think it is so important to have two parents, and for what he's worth, your sons father is in their lives. As long as he's not being verbally abusive I wouldn't worry so much about how he talks to them. If nothing else, it will give them the insight to see how they don't want to raise their children. And the kids have you there for the tender, comforting moments.

Natalie

Hello to all at PC.
The end of the year is fast approaching.
It's a bit hard to accept that another year has flown past. If it weren't for certain milestones, I'd most likely be in denial.
School finishes this week for our kids. Most other activities wind up for the Xmas break as well. I think the kids need a well earned rest.
(I probably do too).

It's a good time for me to reflect on the year past and all the positive things, despite all the crap stuff. I like to try to take stock of all that there is, with a few less distractions to bend my vision.

I wish you all happiness, joy and fulfillment in the days ahead. I hope that there is much less to be sad about and more to fill our hearts and minds with all that is good in the world (and the rest of the universe).

I'm sure that a poet could put it much more sweetly, but here's my thought:

Often happiness is obscured by a journey filled with pain. If fortunate, we endure and find the reward at the end of the journey, but only to realise that we were travelling with it all along.

I have to go to work now (stuff it).
Have a good day.

Peter

Dear Paul,

Well, let me begin by saying thank you. Having just seen "Strictly Ballroom" for the first time today... and then sipping a beer while re-viewing it ;) I then found this site. Reading your words struck a chord.

About one month ago I learned that a dear friend/former lover was killed... in his prime... in an accident. One week later leukemia returned to swiftly take the life of another friend. Sitting at her bedside, listening to her struggling to breathe, I came to one of those incredible moments that only seem to happen in the wee, dark hours -- I had been regretting some of my choices and actions regarding Richie -- the old "road not taken" second guessing. That night, holding Diana's hand I knew that if I HAD taken that other road I would not have been right there where I was so desperately needed, in that room, in that hospital.

Do I think things are pre-ordained? No, not really. Does this slap me in the face, reminding me to see each day and encounter as a gift? Damn right, it does. We are so damned lucky to get the chances we do.

I will sign off for now. I will look forward to returning to browse the archives. Best wishes for happiness and success.

Kristin

Dearest Ones,

An affirmation of life...our eldest granddaughter in Israel just gave birth to her third child, a boy, 9 lbs. (Like his great-grandma, he will definitely have to go on a diet!) The child came so quickly that our granddaughter barely had time to get to the hospital!

That makes a total between the U.S. and Israel, of 3 daughters, 12 grandchildren, 3 great-grandchildren and still counting.

Stud muffin, or E.C., or whatever, (my husband, Ellie) and I can count our blessings...this year, starting with my 70th birthday in January, and our 50th wedding anniversary in March, and all the wonderful things in-between (which includes reveling in Paul's success, and getting to know all of you better), makes me ask, how lucky can we get?

Peace and love,

Grandma

Millie...Congrats on the new grand baby! Look what you and Ellie started 50 years ago. All the lives you have touched (not to mention those of us in the Corner).

Peter...Thanks for your thought - well put. I always say "what doesn't kill you, makes you strong but oh, that fine line between".

Michelle...Firebolts on the tree - too cool! I might try putting something like that together while I am still off work. Have you seen the trailer for Prisoner of Azkaban yet? I only saw it on Windows Media Player. Richard Harris had Dumbledore down sooo perfectly, it's tough to replace him.

Great day all!

Linda

Ah! So much awesome energy here I hardly know where to begin...Millie, congrads! And there's NOTHING wrong with nice, round, nine pound babies. I've had TWO of them! (9 and a half each, actually) and they've flourished. Skinny little picks now, though, at 5 and 6. Of course *I* kept the baby weight. As a momento. ;-)

NEWSFLASH! Went to Tennesee (all together everyone, yee-haw!) over Thanksgiving (stupid holiday, but I'll take four days off to be with my family) and discovered as I walked out of my mother-in-laws bathroom...the Desiderata, FRAMED on the wall. At eye level. I immediately asked my MIL about it and she responded, "Where have you been? That's been there for 6 years?"

SO, we had a brilliant discussion about how in her words "whole religions could be based on that", and we were off! It was a good trip, although I am getting a bit old to be stuffed in a backseat of a van with a lanky youth for 14hours at a spin.

Peter, darling...synchornicity strikes again!
You said "Often happiness is obscured by a journey filled with pain. If fortunate, we endure and find the reward at the end of the journey, but only to realise that we were travelling with it all along." Well, I was reminded, just YESTERDAY (the same day you typed this) of that "secret" to finding joy. I was reading (yeah, yeah, I know...takes me a hundred years to read one stinking book) a section in the Sylvia Browne "Blessings from the Other Side" where she reveals the "secrets" to getting what we have designed for ourselves for this life, but find we're off track. The "joy moments" are to be treasured (like Paul's sitting on the bed with his wife and daughter) and we're to stop and take GOOD solid notice of them. Once we do this, we'll start to notice more of them, AS we look for them.

I was at the library last night, while the boys were perusing books, I was doing a written excercise/Affirmation from this book, and my little Jonah (5) kept whining up to me about the fact that I would only let him check one book out because he still has one unaccounted for (aka "lost") but that I'd let his brother check out TWO, etc. I was getting nowhere with the excercise, so I slammed down my pen, and took a GOOD hard look at this, my child, who is so insistant about EVERYTHING and won't take No for an answer! Then I had one of the best "Joy" moments of my life! I saw that he had dressed himself in a striped long-sleeved green and black t-shirt, his purple Hercules pajama bottoms, snowboots...and swim goggles around his neck. With those ENORMOUS (Pisces!) brown eyes and pouty little voice (muffled partially by the swim goggles) I grabbed him up and just squeezed and squeezed and kissed those still-fat little cheeks!

Here I am trying to instill "values" into the kid, he's miserable, he's making ME miserable, and all I had to do was PAY ATTENTION and I would SEE what I was supposed to...a beautiful, blessed child. I am doubly lucky because I had quite the good childhood, supportive parents (Dad was a bit gruff, but you know, that's how Dad's who grew up in the 40's/50's WERE~) but still loving and supportive.

Allright, it's 5:01pm, it's pitch dark outside, and I've got one more hour here. Best use it wisely. (Oh, and Marge was it who was telling us of her balmy weather? I let the dogs out at 2:00am--the male Newf was PANTING in the kitchen--and almost croaked...it was TWELVE freaking degrees, Farenheit! BrrRRRRR! Good thing I tucked my chickens in tightly! Don't want any frozen eggs in the morning! ;-)

Oh, speaking of eggs, I have a recipe for a wreath sponge cake that takes (gulp) 12-14 egg whites! It has eggnog filling. And frosting. Nice hot cuppa Katalina's caffe' and we could have some SERIOUS noshing going...

Hugs all around. I really gotta split. (Hello, Kristin. Glad you posted.)

Dhiana

Dhiana - what a wonderful description of your precious 'joy moment'. Reading it, the joy you felt was almost tangible! It's a lovely idea to think that we could become more alert to those moments in our lives.

Grandma Mil - many congratulations on the birth of your great-grandson! Another journey beginning. I wish him health and happiness as he sets out.

Linda - hope all is going well with your recovery.

Natalie - I know what you mean about having the 'balance' of two parents being there. It is one of the things I have missed the most. My sons' father loves them very much and would never consciously affect either of them in a negative way. It's just that when it comes to some really fundamental things - he just doesn't get it. It's not only frustrating at times, it's also sad because as the years go by, he is missing out more and more on different aspects of their lives.

Sending best wishes to all at the Corner. Hope you're all doing well.

Mary

Mil, I'm so happy for you! And you'll get to see him soon! I had one of those nine pounders as well. AND he decided to be born with his little hand lying upside his head ala The Thinker. Was there really a question of whether to come out or not? My other guy was smaller but equally as sweet.

Dhiana, I've said before how I love my Desiderata print. It is framed and hanging above my microwave. Yes you heard right. I have a sacred space on my microwave. Hey I spend most of my time in this big old kitchen so I might as well make it my own! I have Buddhas, angels, glass hearts, candles and other little trinkets sitting there. I'm looking for just the right Gaia statue to add to the gang. Ooh, and a wizard to remind me of Albus Dumbledore, who I am certain though ASSUMED fictional is really a highly advanced soul living somewhere in Scotland. I love him madly.

Peter, I loved what you said about our journey. Hopefully I will be able to live that knowledge.

Welcome, Kristin! Hey all you other Corner Dwellers, where the heck are you? And Paul, how are your muscles?

Love to you,
Michelle/Chicago

Michelle, we had to cancel our trip to Israel, because of some health issues of mine that could be aggravated by long plane trips!

To tell you the truth, a lot of our friends are relieved that we are not going at this time...the new little great-grand baby will probably be in school by the time we finally go, but we'll still send and receive pictures, and stay in touch by phone.

Peace and love,

Grandma

Grandma Mil, I'm so sorry you won't be able to go to Israel. Are you feeling all right? I guess I can understand your friend's concern but I hope you'll be able to go in the near future.

Be Well,
Michelle

Not to worry, Michelle, dear..it's arthritis of both knees, one worse than the other.

Walking too far is tough, and rising from a sitting position from a sofa, etc., is very difficult, so I make sure to sit on straight chairs.

I still exercise at the gym with not too much difficulty, for I use only the recumbant bike, plus a thingy for the arms.

The orthopedist told me that when I get tired of the pain and inconvenience, he will be happy to operate and give me a knee replacement...I am trying to stay out of his clutches!

Peace and love,

Grandma

Hello All,

Grandma Mil, I'm sorry to hear that you couldn't go on your trip. But as dissapointed you may feel its a dangerous time to go. Sometimes situations happen for a reason. As long as you're safe that matters most to the people who care about you and stud muffin. I'm sorry I missed the Dec 2nd show but I through my neck out Monday (I still have no idea how I did it). I don't know what's going on with my body these days, its acting as though I'm an athlete or something, pulled muscles, spine out of alignment, etc and I have to go to my doctor after work today. My uncle stopped calling a few weeks ago and goes to find out he's landed another girlfriend, number 3. I guess its good at his age since women outlive men mostly and at 86 he has more opportunities than Casanova to go to first base (its funny to think he confuses the bases he thinks second base is calling a prospective date and he mixes first base with third).

Well, in other news, Fort Lauderdale is getting ready for the holidays. People in my neighborhood are starting to put lights up and its a pleasure when I walk the dog in the evening to see all those beautiful decorations. I stopped the other night in front of a house that the owner turned into a winter wonderland of lights. As I was looking at the light display I could hear the owner yelling inside his house telling a friend of his that his wife not only left him but is already dating somebody else and not just any guy but a rich one with a red Porche. You may think that I'm insensitive but it was quite comical to see all these people stop in front of this mans house to watch the lights and then hearing him scream off the top of his lungs about his failed relationship as the santa display moved to the music of "Jingle Bells."

This week-end I'm planning to do my own decorating. This years tree theme (I have a theme every year for the tree) the "Tree of Romance" all in red and gold with a pillow inscribed with the world "Love" on the top of the tree. My husband, who would prefer of course something more like Raindeer and Santa Clause and the elves, asked me "why" and I responded "why not".

Oh I forgot Mil, congrads on the new great grand baby!

Julie

warm hugs n snuggles to all in PC today/tonight.
Special hello to Grandma Mil and wishing her well and happy.
Hi to Inn (big hug!) and everybuddy else... *smile*

Been missing you guys.

Katalina

Thanks, Katalina, I'm feeling better this past week. I'm still working out at the gym (I just got back)and the cortisone shot the doctor gave me in my bad knee almost 2 weeks ago is still working.

Julie, I'm sorry you and your ever lovin' Uncle George, could not make it to my show this week. It was quite an experience. The auditorium was packed, and people dragged chairs in from another room, and some even sat on the floor! (Had the security guys seen that, they would have closed me down!)

When the show was over, the audience bounced up the aisles, in such good spirits...(it reminded me of the first time I screened "Strictly Ballroom" on the night of 9/11.)

I was told by many last night that for 90 minutes they forgot their own aches and pains and the troubles of the world.

I hope you take care of yourself, Julie. We're looking forward to seeing you again...you light up the place!

I had a fun loving lady, (a dancer, too) who wanted to meet Uncle George last night...she also lights up any room she is in..

One of the sequences in my video show last night was a documentary on the tango, and when the part where the tango is danced by the Flintstones, Charley Chaplin, and Laurel and Hardy, this lady went into such whoops of laughter in the audience, that I was ready to call the medics!

I also included that clip of Paul dancing the tango, reluctantly, with Gia Carides. Many in the audience asked me when I would be showing "Strictly Ballroom" again, and a show of hands told me that just about everyone would come to see it again..and again...and again! We are slated to get a new big screen in that auditorium, and I'm going to hold out until then..probably in the New Year. My audiences will then learn that you are in "The Full Monty" Paul, and I know they will "oooh and ahhh" about that!

Peace and Love,

Grandma

A new grand baby? I'm so happy for you Grandma Mil!
Hello to all. I feel like Peter with these drive-by postings. I'm working hard and spending lots of time with my kids. We are having a blast.
Big hugz back to Katalina, how's it going? Send me an update.
peace

Innussiq wrote "...drive-by postings." That sums up perfectly how I have felt whenever I have visited since discovering PC a few days ago -- so busy I don't feel I have time to write anything thoughtful ;)

So, I will just say thanks again! I have found the postings from so many of you to be very caring and thought-provoking... very refreshing! Looking forward to returning when I'm not so busy. Currently in the midst of a heavy remodel on our home, no outside labor brought in, just us... Anyhow...

Best wishes to all!

Kristin

Hello yet again ;)

I realized I never told Paul that I was sorry to read of the loss of his friends, and of his brother -- please know that I am. When you wrote of the theatre being filled by those who are gone, I understand. I was fortunate to have lived 30+ years without losing anyone close to me who had not lived a full and LONG life. Now, at 37, it seems friends are falling by the wayside, and it does hurt. I especially feel for their families.

I never thought I would find myself crying in the shower, smiling and hoping Diana or Richie could hear me as I told them of my love or words that I wish I would have spoken to them when they were still here. Or how vividly I would be able to imagine their smiling faces and voices, and then wondering if I was really imagining it.

Though that acute pain has eased, I find myself changed, I believe for the better. It may sound trite, but I want to savor every day, sit and listen to my dear 7 y.o. son read as many silly stories to me as he pleases, and to more fully appreciate all my husband does and shares with me. And I have begun to look for that silver lining, whenever I think to.

Back to work I go...

Kristin

Oh, please tell me it is warm somewhere in this world! I am such a fall person... I love the weather. Spring is too rainy. But I don't know which is worse, summer when one can't get cool (it is very humid and hot here in the midwest) or winter when one can't get warm!

Hello to all and many blessings!
I hope everyone has a great day and enjoy the up coming holidays.

Love always Kei

Ps. If any one knows, I would like to know who is in charge of selling the films from this site, and is it safe?;-) I need to buy a couple of films right away for a friend! So please,any one who can help, get back to me soon! Thanks a million!
Kei

Ps. I hope I didn't offend anyone because of my question. I just don't the answer to that one. I just want to be safe. I hope you guys understand. Thanks again

Kei

Dear Kei,

Amazon.com is the place to order most films. I just checked, and "Strictly Ballroom", VHS and DVD is available and so is "Joseph", VHS. You would have to open an account. Shipping is extra, but very quick!

"Strictly Ballroom" (DVD) is also available at Borders, and perhaps Barnes and Noble.

I hope this helps you a bit.

Peace and love,

Grandma

HELP!!

I'm being snow bombed in New York!!!

Janice

Quick, Janice, grab a plane and come to Florida...it's a balmy 70 degrees here, and this early a.m. while going to the gym, it was 58, but the flowers and the steam from the heated pools were so soothing...wish we could package it all and send it up...our kids in CT and NJ would appreciate it also!

Love,

Grandma

Janice: Grab a shovel and come on over! We're just about to sit down to some hot chocolate and home-made butter cookies after scraping and shoveling all morning. You'd think with all the wonderful "mega doppler" radar the weather people have they could get these storms right once in a while!?

Hello to all in the corner. Hope everyone is keeping well.

Anyone have any extra sunshine and warm weather to spare? I'm done with winter already and it isn't "officially" here yet....

Sally (She who lurks)

Hi Gran Mil, et al:

Thanks for all the warm wishes. The hot chocolate & butter cookies sound mmmmmmmmm good!! Congrats Gran Mil on your new, healthy granson. He sounds delicious. I'm jealous of your WARM weather. I'm a wussy girl when it's cold. The last 48 hrs. just reminded my why I hate the winter so much.

Fortunately, my son stayed with me for the weekend and while he shoveled, I used the snow thrower. The wind was terrible!!! We wrapped holiday presents, & decorated for Christmas/Hanukkah. So all in all we had a productive few days despite the blizzard.

I've been a single parent for years, & I'd prefer that than to have two parents physically present and emotionally vacant as I did. No life has it easy, and everyone's pain is equal.

Gran Mil: Take care of those dancin' knees, girl.
If I can do anything, just let me know, and it's yours.

PMJ: I hope you're not working too hard, and letting those muscles rest. My docs say the "Mayo Clinic is good for numerous things, but they do not specialize in pain management." We still offer our assistance for your Dad, at your pleasure."

WARM hugs & kisses to all.

Elbows up, head high, and feet moving forward.

Pearl Harbor, 7 December, 1941: May their souls and all those of the World War II generation be remembered. Thank you for your many sacrifices, unyielding commitment, and unending courage. All these of the Allied countries are my great heroes.

Janice

WOW!!! WHAT A RIDE. I just now am able to catch up on all thats been going on. Last Thursday my neighborhood lost power and just now got power back. We had 80 MPH gusting winds through my area. I live about 35 miles south east of Seattle WA and we always are the first to go out and the last one to come back on. They called in power crews from Oregon, BC Canada, California Idaho and Montana. About 12 houses from my house to the main road got hit by trees. These are big fir trees 2 to 3 feet in diameter. One of my neighbors got three of them in his tri level house. It was a total loss. Another was cut in half. Fortunately no one was killed. Several people were inured; two people were in their car when a tree hit them, and they had to be cut out. Also there was no rain with this wind storm. The last bad one we had was on Inaugural day in 1993. Hope all is well with everyone and now I can catch up on the last 4 days here. Take Care

Hello everyone, it's been a while, I'm very busy and have been trying to get caught up on this post, but that hasn't happened yet. There's a few things that I wanted to say about the parenting discussion somewhere up there while it was going on (it triggered all sorts of thoughts) and that didn't happen, and now I can't quite remember what they were and it won't happen now either, not enough time...

Well, at least my efforts in finding a permanent teaching position are beginning to pay off, thus far I made it through round 1 in the academic job search process (=sifting through an average of 60 to 100+ applications and selecting about 10 people for an initial interview) and now have two such interviews, both at places I really would like to go to, as far as I can tell from their web pages and what else I know about the places, without having met the people yet. Both interviews will take place between Dec. 27 and 30 in San Diego, CA at one of the biggest academic conferences in my field. I'm absolutely excited about it and also slightly terrified, but am working out my anxieties, mostly in my dreams. It's a really weird way of preparing for me, getting the worst case scenarios out of the way ahead of time or at least gone through them mentally once and thus it's a little less of being put on the spot, should they happen. Got to prepare for both interviews now, and I'm sure practicing in front of a mirror will be involved and recording practice answers thus working on presentation and hopefully avoiding rambly responses.

I hope all of you are doing well and I wish you all the best.

Hello All!

I hope that cold weather hasn't gotten anyone down. Over the week-end in FLorida we had a bit of a chill getting into the upper sixties and lower seventies. I had to dress up my Greyhound in some of my husbands sweatshirts and sweaters (their skin is very thin and they cold very easily). The cats hid under the sheets of the bed yet the big cat that lives in my house wasn't really affected that much since back where he grew up the weather is barely over 30F. He even went golfing in shorts and a t-shirt.

People in my neighborhood are still preparing for the holidays. The sweet old lady who owns the house with over twenty plastic flamingos in the front yard dressed them all up in santa hats and red ribbons. It was a real hoot!

I found out last night over the e-mail that the article that I wrote for the community newsletter has been accepted. Yeah! Ok I know its not the New York Times but at least its a start, at least I'm writing:)

Take care all!

Julie, Congrads! (You don't wanna work at the Times anyway...too bitchy.) ;-) Keep it up!
Oh GADS on the plastic flamingoes though!

Evelyn, best of luck to you, my friend, on the job hunting. You're doing it all systematically, so just envision yourself in the position you want, after you've chosen where it is you like best. Simple! (heh heh heh...)

Finally finished the Sylvia Browne book "Blessings From the Other Side" and to go on this Life and Death thread, there is much to say, but unfortunately, you just have to let your eyes be opened from the inside. Nothing I say is going to make you less afraid of dieing or of losing a treasured person to the next life they've gone off to. The Irish had it right, however, have a Departure Party for the bloke and honour their spirit...'cause chances are that spirit is RIGHT in the room, inside each and every person there. So drink up, folks!

Salute!
Dhiana

I am not afraid of dying and I am not afraid of death. I am only afraid of die suddenly, such as in a terrible acident. I enjoy living and expect to live many more years, but I am always curious about the life after death. I KNOW I WILL be somewhere after death, but I DON'T KNOW whether I will remember. I think there were only lucky few would remember their previous life. Even they did, they could only remember so little, like Dalai Lama. They had to study and learn to live again. So, my solution is that I am not afraid of death but I have to live the BEST and love the MOST out of THIS life, because only LOVE and COMPASSION will transcend my life and lead to a better NEXT life. So, do not feel sad about your friend's death - didn't mean you shouldn't miss him - because his good deeds and his love took him out of THIS life, out of SUFFERING.

BTW: I think prayer works ONLY WHEN your prayer matches with "God's" plan. After all, "GOD" is not that merciful. God loves you but only work on HIS SCHEDULE to take you away. So, live well today and be prepared.

P.S. I am sure Richard still lives because you remember him. That might be the moment he tried to communicate with you. Just talk to him as he is there, share your thoughts with him, and keep an open mind. You will hear his laughter again.

Be happy. Every day.