Paul's Corner

sure

I'll often find myself delaying bedtime by hours, yes, if I have to confront something that's worrying me the next day. Wrote a poem about that kind of thing several years ago, in fact, so if you'll forgive me... ;O)

'The Sod-It Club'

When life gets you down, old mate
Just take off to the pub,
When you're flustered, running late
Why not join the "sod it!" club?

When things go wrong, take it from me
Do not sit down and blub,
Splurge out on a shopping spree
And join the "sod it!" club.

When the heavens deal a lousy hand
Pig out on your favourite grub,
Don't bury your head in the sand
Just join the "sod it!" club.

When 'tomorrow' makes you want to cringe
Just blag a nice backrub,
A cup of tea and a chocolate binge
And you've joined the "sod it!" club.

So when life makes you want to die
And gets you down, just prod it,
Then lift your lungs up to the sky
And scream, "Oh f*cking sod it!"

I guess I fear tomorrow sometimes but mostly I just take a deep breath and say bring it on. You can't get around it you can only get through it, so for me it's the faster the better. I'm not one to put things off and if it's something unpleasant I'd rather get to it then wait for it to catch up with me.
Hello to everybody. I haven't seen Peter, Tim or Katalina post in awhile. I hope you guys are lurking-love to you! Hello Grandma Mil, Whit, Evelyn,Janice,Sally,Julie, and you too Paul.
Peace

How much is the membership fee for the "Sod It" Club, Karen?

I'm still here, Inn, stud muffin too, and glad to have you back!

Peace and love,

Grandma

Membership is free, Grandma Mil. Pull up a chair, take a piece of chocolate cake, pour yourself a cup of tea and lose yourself in a good book for a bit. Guaranteed to work, just as long as there are no wee ones to not realise you want some me-time and start bouncing all over you!

Then again, having wee ones bouncing all over you is time well-spent anyway :O)

Karen, I haven't eaten chocolate cake in ages, (not on my diet), and no wee ones around here in our retirement village..just us seniors, who try to live and laugh in spite of our aches and pains, and complain how fast time seems to fly.

Hanging on to today can be desirable for many, for sure, but no one can hold back the dawn.

Paul, the opening of "The Full Monty" on New Year's Eve is coming up. Don't worry, you're gonna SHINE! We'll be raising our glasses that night in a toast for your rousing success!

Love and Peace,

Grandma

I try not to think about what may happen tommorrow good or bad ( I always believe that you can't precipitate too much of what will happen in the future). And if I know I have to face something dreadful the next day I try to stay in the present and put my tentative future challenges on a shelf. When dreading something that may happen you have to remind yourself that better days will come around again.

Take care all!

"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday".

Karen, LOVED your poem! Hope you don't mind if I keep a copy pasted to my computer? It's so appropriate...

Paul, No worries. With all the love and support of the corner behind you, you KNOW we'll be there to hold you up...

Love to all.

Sally

Grandma Mil - Ouch! I remember diets that didn't allow chocolate cake. My sympathies at not being able to munch on a slice of choccie-heaven =\

Sally - Course I don't mind! Anyone who wants a copy is very welcome to it; I dole it out to anyone in my vicinity that seems like they need it :O)

Hi PC,
I'm with Inn on this. Life can just bring itself on!! 90% of what I used to worry about didn't happen, so I stopped wasting all that negative energy and focused on what was positive.

Life drove me to my knees & kept me there for a while when my beloved son was diagnosed with schizophrenia several years ago. After that experience, I do not give my consent to life to leave me feeling helpless or hopeless ever again. I am too much of a control freak to allow that to happen again.

PJM: We're thinking good thoughts of you as you prepare for TFM. May your voice be sweet; may your feet be light; may your body find flight and soar with angels. ENJOY the experience that the rest of us would kill for!!

May I ask you a heartfelt question? My son had a good sense of rhythm before his illness was diagnosed. Since then, I find that his movements are not as graceful, and that he just doesn't seem to be able to dance with me. His rhythm is absent. I'm thinking schizophrenia impacts multiple areas of the brain, and that in his situation his co-ordination is deficient.

My question is can rhythm be re-learned or do you think that because of the damage of his illness it is simply lost?? I'd be interested to have input not only from Paul, but all here on PC.

You are a great source of strength for me as a single mom. Know that I'm loving all of you. Thanks for just being you.

Elbows up, head high, feet moving forward....always forward.

J.

Paul,
I don't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has troubles of it's own. I have all I can do to handle today. Hanging on to today is important... it's all you have at that moment. Once it's gone, it's gone. No more!
What you learned today can help you with tomorrow.
The good thing about tomorrow is that your smarter and you don't have to make the same mistakes again. You have another glorious day to enjoy. Enjoy your life, it's the only one you have. There's no future in your past. SMILE!!!

I don't know about this one.

There are moments, especially after a nap, when all is quiet and I am still, and I wish the pleasant moment of waking naturally from sleep to wakefullness would last forever.

But the truth is, I have to get up sometime!

Suzanne

In a moment
what has been is lost
in what will be
The moments I dread are usually surpassed by something so amazing that I wonder why I was flippin' over some "small stuff". Cause isn't it all relatively small stuff? When you have the capability of giving love- or being loved -and sharing that love... for family , friends, or even strangers... very little else matters.

That being said, I have many sleepless nights awaiting the next matinee day or doctors appointments or visiting pals or the list grows...
I try to let today last for many more hours cause all is well and the next day is unknown.

When I forget about what lies ahead and let it come ..my stomache and my heart and my brain all feel much better. Life can be amazing when it's lived out loud and not curled in a tight ball of worry buried inside of you.

Anyway, blah, blah, blah... life is good. Best to you all and of course, Paul.

Hang in there Paul, sounds like you have pre stage jitters. We are all routing for you and we know you will SHINE and feel good about yourself.

I think there is a song that goes something like this. Yesturday is history, tomorrow is a mystry and today is a present to be cherished.

I once had a friend say to me that there were two things they did not like. One was getting up in the morning and the other was going to bed at night.

When I wake up in the mornign I say a thank you prayer that I have another day to look forward to. Take care everyone. Marge

Nope.

I'll REVIEW the day and savor it's glorious moments, or if those are sparse, figure out what rule of "Joy" I broke to make it so (let someone judge me, wasn't honest or upfront with someone, was lazy at work, too harsh on the kids, felt guilty about something, etc).

But no. I look forward to tomorrow. Tomorrow, for me, is going to provide me with more wisdom and will hopefully be one step closer to my leaving this god-forsaken job and being home with my kids and teaching and taking more steps towards getting our little farm-dream going.

;-) Yep. I'm an annoying optimist. Sorry. (not really!)

Blessings,
Dhi

Yep. You said it Dhi.

Tomorrow "will be one step closer to leaving this god-forsaken job and being home with my kids."

I resigned a few weeks ago. I HATE my job. My wife gave up work when our kids were born seven years ago and I've been the breadwinner since then. Now I'm going to use up a large part of our savings by stopping work myself and we intend to travel around Australia in our caravan (trailer home?) doing "home schooling" and being together as a family.

In a couple of years I'll probably be forced, by lack of money, to look for another job but between now and then it's "quality time" with the kids 24/7 or as close as we can.

Work asked me to stay on 'till Xmas. They are in a bind and I really think they need me (or I would have left ages ago) but I am COUNTING THE DAYS!

Will my dream work out okay???

I'll let you know.

P.S. I turned 40 yesterday so this may all be a mid-life crisis but I don't care. I'm doing it!

LIVE THE DREAM!

WOW Brian!!!

Happy 40th! Maybe a mid-life crisis, but what a way to go! You must have built up quite a savings.

Spending some time on the road with your family and home-schooling sounds wonderful. It is an act of commitment and faith. This will be a wonderful time for you and your wife and children to realize what really matters. Not 'stuff', but time. I don't think there is such a thing as "quality time". Children just see time. You and your family will not only learn the three "r's" but trust and faith how to work together and live more economicaly.
If you have sons, what a wonderful example of commitment. Parenting,fathering,showing them what a REAL man is. If you have daughters, you, like Paul, show them by example what they want to look for in a husband. I am a mom. My husband is the breadwinner. I sure would like him to take some extended time off. Living in Southern California doesn't allow for that.

Wonderful luck to you. Hopw you had a terrific 40. It's a milestone. I'll be 40 in September.
Paul already hit the mark. I know quite a few of us are already there too.

Hello to all in the Corner. Thinking of you Paul and sending positive thoughts your way. YOu're going to be TERRIRIC!!

Margie

Brian, way to go! What an amazing experience to give your children. I wish you all safe but exhilerating travels. Margie, well said.

Re: Paul's post, I do this at times, particularly when what scares me is an 'unknown'. I think the Desiderata can help here when it says:

'But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.'

In most cases, this turns out to be true. Good luck Paul if you are facing something.

Suzanne, hope you are doing well.

Janice, I can't help you with your question I'm afraid, but I just wanted to say that, not for the first time, I admire your courage and positive outlook. I wish you and your son well.

Take care everyone
Mary

I use today and when it is spent I give it up freely. I lay my head on a soft pillow and dream the yesterdays that were today. The tomorrows are all evenly place in a row. The tomorrows come one at a time. I take tomorrow and place it for today and when it is spent I give it to yesterday.

My yesterdays are many now. And each one holds beautiful memories. Gone is dad, mom, and 4 of my brothers. I go to those yesterdays and think lovingly of what I once had.

I cultivate today and nurture all with love. And celebrate life with new friends. Living frees you, your mind, and spirit. Fear closes you in a dark big box.

Benjamin Franklin said "Most of the disasters in my life never happened. They were all in my mind." As for me, it always seems that when my tomorrow of yesterday is over everything always worked out OK.

Just a side note... This is my first time on here and Paul, I think it is really cool that you give some of your time and especially your thoughts to those of us around the world who think of you.

David Armitage, I don't know who you are, but today you are my angel. I have been so worried about something for days now and just an hour ago I was screaming at the universe (inside my head of course) to give me a clue. I really believe we have other souls who are there to guide and teach us, but lately I've felt as if they were ignoring me. I specifically asked for some kind of knowledge to help me through this tough spot, and lo and behold you posted just what I needed to hear! You'll never know how much your words meant to me. I've written them down in my journal so that I will remember them as I need them. Thank you, David.

Bill, what you said is right on the money as well! I know reality is never quite what my worrying imagines it will be. I need to keep that in mind when I go off on one of my tangents.

Mary, thanks for reminding me of Desiderata.

Brian, good for you and your family! We are homeschoolers and love it! I don't think you will look back on this time and regret that you didn't work more. Money flows in and out of our lives, but time with your kids is here and gone before you know it. Too many times we let ourselves believe that conforming to society's ideas about life is more important than following our hearts. I wish you happiness in your journey!

Paul, yes tomorrow scares the crap out of me sometimes. I am just in awe that you started this thread and that the responses to it were SO what I needed right now. Love to you Paul, the light at the center of our circle.

Hello to all the Corner, and a big welcoming hug to all of the newbies!

Love from Chicago,
Michelle

DEAR PAUL,

I just received the following poem from a dear friend. What good timing!!! I hope it gives you comfort to whatever worries you are dealing with. It's a little long, but I think it's worth sending. Warm thoughts and love, Marge

MOMENTS IN LIFE

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Please send this message to those people
who mean something to you (I JUST DID);
to those who have touched your life in one way or another;
to those who make you smile when you really need it;
to those who make you see the
brighter side of things when you are really down;
to those whose friendship you appreciate;
to those who are so meaningful in your life.

If you don't send it, don't worry,
nothing bad will happen to you;
you will just miss out on the opportunity
to brighten someone's day with this message!!!

Don't count the years-count the memories...........

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take;
but by the moments that take our breath away!

This is so "me". I always worry about tomorrow. Not any other things but merely sudden death. I actualy don't fear of death but I am afraid of sudden death - the kind of "accident" which will take your life suddenly. It doesn't matter death comes violantlyor as peacefully but leaves no time for you to say goodbye to your child. If I can make choice between a peaceful sudden death and a painful enduring death, such as cancer, I will choose the latter. But the fact is, we don't have choice. We don't even know when the death will come. So the result is, I try to hang on to "today", try to have fun and live happy "today", take all the opportunities to say I-love-you to my child "today". If today passes without accident, I will kiss my child good-night and look forward to "tomorrow" to say I-love-you to my child as I open my eyes in the morning and go on to live tomorrow. Afterall, I can only worry so little, and a mother's love can only show that little.

I am so glad that people here are so honest to talk about this. I once talked about this in the office but was demanded to shut-up immediately. I think everyone was afraid that too, but nobody was dared to talk about it openly. Thanks to everyone.

P.S. I just turned 40 this year. I feel my life just began, and I know that life after 40 will only be better and better.

Wish you all have a very happy New Year.

Tomorrows seem bigger when you are growing in to them. Big shoes to fill, big dreams to realize, big mountains to climb.

Wouldnt have it any other way.

When you get tired from the journeying the what if's come out to taunt you. I just embrace them, thank them and send them on their way.

Seeing tomorrow, not as a bunch of what if's but as a series of glorious moments, fills me with excitment not just for tomorrow but for today also. To savour those moments now and knowing more are to come brings joy to each anticipatory breath I take!

Thanks for the words guys!

Quick hi to, Pete, Tim, Grandma Mil, Whit, Evelyn, Paul and everyone. Whit I haven't had any butt kicks lately? It's okay. I been a good girl and have been walking and ice skating. Grandma Mil, Sami says hi and she's doing great in her new deaf school. She has a play tomorrow. The Nutcracker. Evelyn I haven't forgotten you. I owe you a letter. Yes, the phantom and his lady still visit. Paul, you sound so excited about the Full Monty and it doesn't sound like you need any shin kicks. You've been sowing your garden.

Do I ever feel like hanging on to today? Yes but, I find I like to hang on to moments more. Like when my 10 year old daughter was getting ready to start at the new deaf school far away for 5 days a week. I found myself grasping moments with her and dreading the loss of each day. Fearing the unknown of the last. Things are easier now but I still grasp for moments. On our resent walk together we were wading through beautiful fallen autumn leaves and they falling like snow over us. I thought I wanted to grasp and hold that moment forever with her. I hope everyone has wonderful Christmas and a wonderful new year. Hugs to all. Suz

Hey guys...
Paul...I never try to hang on to today. I am so thankful there is usually a tomorrow. If today was good I count it on my good page.
Hey my friend Caz in Sydney sent me an email about you in the newspaper thispast Sunday? Anyway it was about you teaching a kid how to slide across the floor like you did in SB. She said you still had it in ya.
You're gonna burn the stage up in TFM.

I got my hearing aids today. Life is a whole new experience. The audiologist I went to today said she could tell by my diction that I've suffered from a long term hearing loss for some time. Isn't that wild??? I'm so happy I was riding in the car with my boys and I could hear and "UNDERSTAND" what they were saying. It's a whole new world for me.

Anyways...I look forward with immense delight for the tomorrows. They are what are going to take me to my dreams.

Love to everyone...

peace and love

Tim

To all the 40 year-olds-(and older)...trust me, it only gets better!

Susan, so happy to hear from you, and a big kiss for Sami (and you). When I was teaching years ago, we had a class of deaf children in our school, and they were so eager to partake in all aspects of the activities outside their own classroom, and they did get involved in assembly programs that I directed over the years.

Timmer, I was wondering where you were, I was getting a bit concerned. Glad to learn your hearing problems have been resolved...ain't it grand, being able to hear the kids argue in the car?

Paul, you will be sliding across the floor in the New Year when I show "Strictly Ballroom" again, for the 5th time since 2001 in my film seminar. My audiences always ask about you, and now I'll be telling everyone you're starring in "The Full Monty" in Australia! I wonder if Tara Morice will see you when the show gets to Sydney...what a reunion that would be!

To my weight club...I am down 24 lbs., still counting, still lots more to lose. I keep thinking of that 24 lb. turkey, probably like the fake one that showed up in Baghdad...

Peace and love,

Grandma

I don't mean to be the party pooper here but Brian, have you ever thought about taking a sabatical rather than just quiting?

When your single or have no children taking risks like this is easy b/c the only person you have to deal with is yourself, but when your children become affected by your choices, when you risk not providing for them in the future, it becomes a different ball game. The worst thing we could do in this world is not take care of our responsibilities especially if they are children. Show me a man who becomes a great adventurer, living it up with an exciting life, but if he puts himself first before his children, it doesn't impress me.

I'm not saying there isn't a balance somewhere but finding the balance may be more worth it in the long run.With some thinking ahead and creativity I think you can accomplish that.

And who says staying home with young children is a walk in the park. I think your not giving your wife the credit she deserves. Raising children is a huge task.

Take care all,

Tim, WOW! That's wonderful that you now have hearing aids. A beautiful world has opened up to you. Having two deaf people in my family I can share your excitement. Keep me posted on your new experiences with them.

Grandma Mil, Hugs and kisses from Sami and I. You'd be tickled to know that my American Sign Language teacher reminds me of Paul. He looks a lot like him and has a wonderful sense of humor. It gives the class an extra perk:)...Sami's play was fantastic! The costumes were so cute.
Whit, I need a kick today!
Brian, HAPPY BIG FOUR OH!
Evelyn, email me so I know I have the right address.
Paul, sow, sow, sow your garden!
Hugs to everyone...SUZ

You guys my first day at work with my new aid was incredible. I could hear conversations going on. I worked on a german client of mine that I've been doing for some time now. I finally understand her. I've always just nodded and acted polite. She's so freaking interesting. I had an exhilirating day on the hearing end of things. Listening is indeed a pleasure and I don't mind hearing the kids in the car. At least now I know what is being said.

Aunt Mil...24 pounds. That's pretty f**ing inredible in my book. I only use the f word for tremendous effect. I'm jealous but I'm not doing the work so what the hell can I expect.
Congrats and keepit up!!!!!!!!

I so wish I could make it to Oz for the show. I've got to get on the travel guide and see what's up.

Good talking to everyone.

peace and love

Tim

Hi,

I just finished a book called "Ten Things to Do Before You Die." No, it is not on making wills, or even seeing the great sights in Rome. Rather it is dedicated to things that foster a positive attitude.

The first chapter encourages you to be the happiest person around. Make a list of what makes you happy, and by all means do it. No "I Shoulds...." on the list.... only what makes you happy!

The other evening I was talking to a friend who had broken her back in the spring and is just able to sit on the edge of her bed. As I was ending the call as I had to go to church, she said, "Enjoy yourself."

You know, I did. It has been ages since I've "enjoyed" it. I have gone, but not been happy to be there, if you know what I mean. It was easier thinking that she would love to be able to do just this simple thing of going to church and enjoying it.

So please think today about things that are fun for you and pursue them!

Oh, dear, Timmer, don't apologize for using the "f" word.. after all, it means "fantastic" doesn't it??

Peace and Love,

Auntie Mil

Absolutely phenomenal! I forget what get positive energy pours out of the Corner! And Paul always providing the impetus. You would think that I would have loads of time during recovery to come back more often, but with all the Christmas prep and my moving sooo slowly to get it done, I get too pooped. But I had a great doctor's appointment this week - he is thrilled I can stand up straight and wiggle my toes! Quite a big deal for me.

Thanks to all the posters for such positive thoughts. And to Paul, "break a leg" for sure. You'll be great!

Linda

Linda great to hear you are mending well - go girl!!!

Janice, I wish I had an answer to your question. Can rhythm be relearned - yes I think people can learn rhythm after all that is what you do to some extent when you learn to play an instrument. Some people just dont have rhythm and arent musically inclined. Love to hear what the muso's would think about this - Dhi?? With Schizophrenia perhaps the major character/dominant that is present has no rhythm while one of the other personalities posess great rhythm. Perhaps the best way to relearn or reconnect with rhythm would be to listen to lots of music?

Hi PC,
Happy B'day, Brian.
Glad you healing, Miss Linda.
Timster: hearing is a great gift, is it not???

PJM: I hope I didn't mislead you into thinking that schizophrenia was the same as multiple personality disorder. They are distinctly different illnesses. I think of the TV movie SYBIL which was about multiple personality disorder, now known as dissociative identity disorder. Commonly it is caused by overwhelming life threatening trauma prior to the age of nine. It is a highly creative survival technique.

Schizophrenia, on the other hand, is a chemical imbalance of the brain resulting in a severe thought disorder in which interpretation of reality can be severely abnormal. It effects multiple areas of the brain, but there are no different personalities.

I appreciate your feedback, and will continue to have him listen to music and try to relearn what he has lost to this illness. He is mesmerized by your dancing in SB, and wishes he could dance like that!! I told him to get in line behind the rest of us that wish the same thing.

Things look GREAT in TFM link! We appreciate your talent, and applaud you forward as the big day approaches.

Remember: Elbows up, head high, and feet moving forward!!

J.

You didnt mislead me, I like many others am unfortunately truly ignorant regarding schizophrenia.

My sister was diagnosed schizphrenic including mulitple personality disorder so I kind of lumped them together.

I too get mesmerised by my dancing in SB - god is that really me??!!! Considering I am off work at the moment with a torn thigh, it seemed easier than I remember it being!!

Health to all.

Hi PJM,
I greatly appreciate your time and feedback. It is not an uncommon misconception to mix schizophrenia and MPD together as one. Until life forced me to learn the unique differences between them, I didn't have a clue!! Why would I?

It's a painful way to learn when it is your child though. But, as you know, life goes on not because of hurtful events, but rather in spite of them. There is always something to be learned about ourselves when they occur, and hopefully we can always move forward.

I'm sorry to hear of your thigh injury. What type of treatment are you providing? I'm holding my breath and hope you will heal quickly. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Elbows up, head high, and feet moving forward.

Love to all on PC,
J.

P. S.: Son, John, would like to know how you slid across that dance floor without hurting yourself!! In the last dance sequence I notice several times you drop to your knee/knees at Tara's feet. When you do this, I tell John that that is where all good men belong.....and it is as it should be. He just laughs and says "I know Mom!!!

J.

To Julie,

You’re not a party pooper and it’s nice to get a voice of caution just to remind yourself to stay grounded.

I don’t think it’s too much of a risk. We have no debts. Our house is paid off and we’ll keep it here to come back to. By nature, I’m a very conservative person and I plan to go back into the workforce well before we run out of savings.

I don’t want to ask work to keep a job open for me because I don’t think that would be fair to them when they’re looking for a replacement. If I have to, I’ll go back there, and I’m sure they’d have me even if it isn’t doing my old job. Obviously though, I’d prefer to do something different when the time arrives.

My wife is not only totally behind me on this but she’s pushing hard! She’s scared I’m going to chicken out and stay at work! She is also incredibly organised and hard working and my best friend in the whole world. She runs the home and does a great job. She can go from sewing a Halloween costume to double-declutching a bus and make them both look easy. We’ve been married for 17 years and I’m in no doubt about how lucky I am to have her. (Actually I’m not likely to forget since my parents remind me constantly)

Cat...Sorry now things are back in the original format. Maybe it was my computer doing funky things with text and graphics. Linda