Paul's Corner

Sorry about your back, Paul. Makes you wonder...the whole mind/body connection and what might be going on with both as the show comes to a close. All those emotions, mainly fear I would guess, can take quite a toll. Take care.

Like a bad storm, this will pass. The fog will lift. It just sucks getting through it, as you know so well right now. But you will, because that's who you are and that's what you do!

Wishing you love and light,
Michelle

*hugs* to you.

Have you considered Reiki treatment? It helps both body and soul, and every time I've ever had a session I've come out of it walking a little easier in my own skin. Might be worth looking into if you've not already tried it.

Paul, I wish I could find the right thing to say to give you a lift, as your words here have done for me many times. But I can't seem to. I don't know why you are being challenged yet again, when you have always done your best to meet past challenges with courage and faith. I am sorry you are feeling low, physically and in yourself. I feel for all of you involved in the show. All I can think of saying is that in facing this test of endurance, you are not standing alone. Not only do you have the love and support of your family and friends close to you. You can also count on the love and support of everyone here. That makes up a lot of positive energy. Remember, there is safety (from the mist) in numbers.

And if at all possible, stay on the tracks. Maybe, the train hurtling towards you will stop in front of you and invite you to step on board.

I'll be thinking of you.

Love and best wishes,
Mary

Hey mate...I so understand your feelings. You've been through this before and not that long ago and I now it feels like shit. And trust me the staying in bed thing doesn't work. Although I'll do it almost any time.

Listen, you have looks, talent, a loving family of support, us, and that future thing. What is your agent saying? Have you looked at other possibilites that are related to the field? Have you considered publishing your comments from here??? They are very inspiring and could produce a great source of income for you. They are thoughtful sayings of life and what's special and what's NOT. You have so much. You really do. I know you only have 3 more shows, but knock em dead. And where in the HELL IS YOUR AGENT? Slapping the monkey in the bathroom???? Get his ass in gear!!!!

And regarding my last post...I really do think we should plan a Paul gathering at Aunt Mils 2005 show. We have many months to plan. WE could get some great deals, if we have enough people maybe get a room block at a hotel that would be inexpensive and maybe even each chip in some money and fly the man of the hour and his wife over for the event. Could it be more wild??

Forver trying to stay on stable ground.

love and peace everyone.

Tim

Paul
There have been so many times when I felt low and just wanted to stay in bed in the morning. But I know we all have to get up though we would rather stay in that warm nest. Again I say, spirits up and treat every remaining performance as if it were opening night.

Mary
What a lovely thing to say about staying on track and having the train stop to pick you up.

We have such a wonderful group of people here at PC, with all their wisdom and support to carry us beyond our trying times and tribulations.

We just had a very heavy shower here, and then the sun came out and a beautiful rainbow appeared in back of my house, from end to end. I made a wish for you Paul, that the fog will lift, that train will stop, that you will perserver. My love and prayers are with you always.

Take care, Love to all PC folks.
Marge

Paul,

You have 3 days left to feel sorry for yourself....

and the rest of your life to do something about it....

Your girls will live what they learn.... Is this what you want them to learn???

You have supported your family in the past .. selling computers or digging ditches. It all puts food on the table and clothes on the back. (even aching ones). You will be fine. It may be a while until your next break.... but is IS coming.

You have everything you will ever need and everything you have ever needed already around you. Be greatful. You will succeed in whatever you do, regardless of the profession. However temporary it may be.

Kelly

Know how you feel, Paul. It's been raining in SoCal lately and I've been sick as a dog at times. But as a JewBu (Jewish Buddhist) associated advised tonight — meditate. Take deep breaths and clear your mind. Maybe the mist will clear enough for you to see something you may have missed before.

In the meantime, I send deep soothing massage vibes for you and Andrea. These are trying times, but you'll get through to something better soon!

WOW! Heard the music for Good Friday the first time tonight. It's so beautiful, I started to tear up.

Kelly
Right on!! I guess us wimps just did not want to call it like it is. Good Job!

Paul
Take heed in Kelly's words. They are very powerful. We all can learn from it, expecially your girls.

It never ceases to amaze me the wisdom that comes to light here on PC. I too get low. The only family I have now is PC and the Church.

My daughter is in Maryland, but I talk to her almost every day to see what my Grandson is up to. He has Downs Sundrome. No, don't say oooohhhhh! He is a very healthy, happy boy and is at the top of the DS list. He has none of the health baggage that comes with it. The tharaphysts say he will be able to do whatever he wants to including college. The only thing that he has had trouble with is that his eyes were crossing. He had surgery last Thursday and now looks like a Raccoon.

Take care, and love to all.
Marge

Aah, I wish I knew what to say, too...
Is it just *this particular* mood, in *this particular* weather, at *this particular* point in time? Everything, and everyone, around me's (including myself) been dropping like flies due to something or other...
So, prayers to all of you out there who aren't doing too well, and a quote from a certain hobbit:
"Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something."

Jen

A very toughing story.

A great note for all to read it will take just a few seconds to read this and change your thinking.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man ask ed the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

Hi PC
I'm with Kelly. We all have choices to make. Some choose to passively let life unfold. Others actively go out and make life happen. We can sit on the curb and wait for the bus of life to pick us up, or it could just as well pass us by. I'd rather be driving the bus!!

My choice is to be in charge of life's happenings and hold my self totally accountable. There are those I know that choose to be passive and then annoyingly complain "look what life's doing to me!" My usual response is BOO-FRIGGIN'-HOO!! Everyone plays a role. If their life sucks, it's most likely that their choices that lead to it suck also. For some bizarre reason, they delude themselves into believing they have no accountablity for how their life is turning out and relish the role of and get mileage out of being a whining victim. People only do what continues to work for them.

I'm a tough love kind of gal, and feel that I'm the only one who has the ability to change the direction of my life if I'm not happy. So, I take charge, get the job done, and move along. I don't get what is so hard about that.

Till next time PC,
J.

Kelly feeling sorry for myself doesnt come into it. Honouring how I feel when I wake up, expressing how I feel in a given moment, (happy or sad) that is the point of it, the point of being honest to myself and to being here. Sharing my thoughts and my feelings. Perhaps it seems like a fine line between expressing what I am feeling and thinking and being self pitying. Express I will - but pity myself - NEVER.

Just to let you all know, my agent is absolutely great. She is doing everything she can but saddly she cannot make people give me a job (although she certainly tries) We work well together and currently have a game plan worked out together to put me in the best possible position for work. I am not sure what more we can do.

I have a couple of schemes that I am working on the Beer Cafe included. But my schemes are more long term developments. My concerns are more imediate ie I need to earn some money so I can feed the kids, that is the challenging part and the scary part. As an actor I can command a decent wage for what I do in my areas of expertise - as a ditch digger, cook or salesman I cant and the disparity also frightens me. Anyway whats new! I do intend to take action on these schemes as it is time they were kicked off and I plan in a few years time to be at least a millionare once over!!! Then the reunion at Grand Ma Mill's will be on me!

I left a comment on the other thread regarding my girls living what they learn. I have always believed in leading by example and do so honestly. My girls believe in themselves - as I believe in me - but they also honour their ups and downs. I freely admit my less than perfect characters and accept that the girls dont always agree or like every bit of me or their mum or each other. Over all we love and respect each other for who we are and support each other in our successes and in our failings. I do believe that ultimately we all have a healthy, positive and optomistic view toward life.

Hi Everyone,

Paul, whenever I've felt blue or challenged in any way, it never has helped me for people to tell me I should be positive When they tell me that, then I feel guilty for my feelings. That seems to even make me more down on myself. I believe when people do that to others psychologists call it minimizing someones feelings. I've learned a lot about myself when I stood with my feelings and just felt them. I do believe what you can feel you can heal. It's pretty normal to feel like shit in your situation. When I get in those seemingly no win situations that's been when I surrender enough to really ask for God's guidance and help as to whatI should do and actually listen a little bit. I guess Italians just have hard heads.

Anyway, I called Silent Unity and put both of us on the prayer list. They pray continually for 30 days. There is a saying that man's extremity is God's opportunity. I use to use the word the Universe but now I know a more personalized relationship. And it's much more directive and present for me.

Good luck and God bless,

Joan DeRosa

Paul, I agree with Joan. While it is noble and admirable to "just get on with it", I have learned some hard lessons in my life from doing just that. That feels like the opposite extreme of self-pity to me.

Honoring your feelings forces you to be present in the moment, no matter what it is. Ignoring those feelings and only thinking ahead to what's next has caused me to make some bad decisions. Probably because I was disregarding any lessons I should have learned. Had I sat with it, left myself more open to choices that weren't as yet clear to me rather than charging ahead, I know I would have chosen differently. In the end, it made the journey harder than it should have been.

Just my opinion.

Love to all of you,
Michelle

I don't believe there is a bias of worth/success towards positive or 'up' feelings. I think this is a worth placed on these feelings from a human point of view, simply because they are more pleasant to experience and easier to take on board. Being 'present in the moment', as you say Michelle, and experiencing/honouring whatever feelings are yours at any given moment, is where the true value lies. I have always found that any real growth that I have managed to achieve came with its fair share of sad/down feelings. It was when I ran away from sorrow/disappointment/pain or tried to deny it to myself and pretend it wasn't there, that the opportunity for personal development was wasted.

The writer John O'Donohue says in one of his books: 'When you are faithful to the risk and ambivalence of growth, you are engaging your life. The soul loves risk; it is only through the door of risk that growth can enter.'

Paul, embracing an unknown future is a risk, particularly when you are carrying the responsibility of the practicalities of raising a family. It is a very real worry. A consolation is, I hope, that in doing so, you are 'engaging your life' as it is presenting itself to you now. And in doing that, you are reinforcing what you are teaching your girls - to honour the ups and downs that are put in their path and to believe in themselves and in the life that is theirs.

Joan, I loved what you said about believing that what you can feel, you can heal.

Diane, I feel for you at the moment. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Love to Michelle, Millie, Peter, Inn, Tim and to everyone in PC,

Mary

Janice,
I'm completely with you on taking charge of one's own life, but can any of us really be totally in charge of all of life's happenings?
Ca we always be strong enough to succeed in everything we attempt, despite the challenge or likely outcome?

Sometimes we can't avoid failing or becoming victims of some sort.
Sure, we can make decisions that will directly affect events in our lives, but we can't completely control every outcome. Often events are partly or totally out of our control.
It is completely dependant on circumstance.
We may seek to change them, and that's extremely important, but ultimately we will sometimes not succeed in our expectations.
I reckon that's OK too.

I (like yourself) can't see anything positive in being a whining victim, but not everyone has all the answers all the time. Sometimes we simply fail, despite our best intentions and eforts.
I've failed lots of things. Perhaps nobody else would even notice, but I know it. I'm without a doubt my greatest critic, because I'm acutely aware of my potential capabilities. That undoubtedly makes it harder when I judge and conclude that I have failed. I don't whinge about it, but I do sometimes talk about it, because it helps me to gain access to positive responses and intelligence which can help me in overcoming any further challenges.
Hopefully it will give me strength and help to re-focus my strategies.
I think we have to honour our failings, rather than pretend that we can always overpower them.
Failing to recognise our own weaknesses is destructive and risky, I feel.
I'm imperfect and I know it, but I also have a realistic view of what my abilities are.

I believe that you're dead right about accountability, but we shouldn't punish ourselves for that which is beyond our control.

On the other hand, maybe we should have a whinge occassionally. Maybe someone else might learn something from it and hence benefit.

Having said all this, I think that we as human beings are very lucky to have strong, practical people such as yourself to turn to in times of weakness or defeat. Tough is good sometimes, and we all need pillars of strength to lean on.
Tough call.

Hi Mary.
Cheers to all.

Paul and Tim, a Paul Mercurio convention during my show, "Follies 2005" would be a hoot, and I've already heard positive remarks that people are interested in coming to Florida next Febr. 7th, 8th and 9th to attend!

I start rehearsals next week, and I am sure I can whip everyone into shape by then!

Paul, Ellie and I insist on paying for everyone, for WE INTEND TO WIN THE LOTTERY!

I am glad that you and your agent work so well together. When I learned that "The Producers" with an Aussie cast was opening in Melbourne in April, I got all bent out of shape with excitement, but I guess that one was set a long time ago when you were working on TFM. Frankly, I hate the "The Producers" anyway..it pokes fun at senior women and makes Hitler into a comic character.

Susan Stroman, the choreographer, conncoted an obnoxious dance routine with a chorus line of young dancers made up to look like old women, dancing with walkers. I was offended, and so were many others. Apparently, Stroman never visited a nursing home or a retirement community.

I wrote a letter of protest to "The New York Times" when the review first came out, and the letter was printed. Then, Bill O'Reilly's program from Fox News wanted to interview me on TV about my letter, but due to technical difficulties, could not film me in time for the evening news...my one chance for national exposure, gone, gone!

We all send our love and best wishes...something will come up, you'll see!

Peace and love,

Grandma

Hi Miss Mary,
I've failed at so many things that I can't count that high! I used to be a let life happen and sit back and watch person, but for me that was far too easy because it was simpler to hold others accountable when things didn't work out than it was for me to blame myself for not being in the game of life and fight the good fight.

When I fail atleast I know that there is little or nothing I did or didn't do to cause the negative outcome so it is easier to live with. My life experiences lead me to be an in charge person because when doing the opposite it left me with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Two of the worst feelings there are and I just won't have that.

I think that how I respond to life's events can be far more important than the event itself. It is the only part I control. The choices we make determine the life we live.

Till next time PC,
J.

Hi All,

I agree with you Janice, The choices we make do determine the life we live. My husband and I have not always made the best choices, but we have learned from them , or tried to anyway.

Paul, I sincerely did not mean any offense or disrespect with my posting eatlier. Just more of a "HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!!" DONT GET DOWN ON YOURSELF!! If you get too down, then it may be harder to succeed and then we all have to wait longer for your next project! OK, that part is selfish of me. But I did strongly mean the part about being grateful for what you have around you. You can't go far in life alot of times unless you have the suport system and love at home. You have that with your wife and kids, and I have that with my husband and kids. I truley know there are times I know it feel don't think I could cope as easily with things if I didn't know any of them were there for me. That's the true gift. The only one that really matters. I do hope you find your next project soon.

Hey all.

I saw "The Passion of the Christ" today, I don't think I will ever be the same again. I knew the story but had no idea what Jesus actually endured for us. WOW is all I can say.

Love to all

Kelly

I've been thinking a bit lately about absolute truths. This is a very deep subject.
Here's what I've come up with thus far:
A one legged duck swims in circles.

Hi to all at PC. I hope that all your days will be happy ones.
Paul, good luck. You deserve a solid break and it will come. I hope it's soon,... say tomorrow.

Gran Mil, Yes, I too would find the performance you described quite offensive. Some people just don't have a clue. Worse still, some try to profit from the ignorance of others.

Kelly, I take it that the movie is quite graphic.
Perhaps realism is good, in this case.

Have a good day one and all.

Peter

Janice, Please don't take offense but here is my reaction to your post. I think control is a fantasy. Yes, you can control your reactions to an event but that doesn't mean you control events. I know first-hand how that illusion of control can actually be controlling. I believe in working through things also but as Peter (the wise..hee hee) said Sometimes we simply fail, despite our best intentions and efforts. Like Paul, he cannot help the fact that in his profession he will most likely not work regularly. Yes, technically he could give up acting but his soul would suffer for it. Better your wallet suffer than your soul. I certainly agree it's better to have a take charge attitude and make you own decisions but no matter how hard you try some decisions will be wrong. It can't be controlled.
Grandma Mil, I'd like to come to Fla. for the Corner Convention! Don't know about the flying thing but maybe I'd give it a shot.
Hello, Paul,Mary,Michelle,Joan,Marge,Jen and everyone. Big shout out to Katalina where ever she may be!

Hi Inn,
No offense meant and no offense taken. Everyone's entitled to an opinion based on their own life's experiences. A coping mechanism for one may be without purpose for another.

Most of us do have fantasies and I'm comfortable with mine as long they're working for me. When they no longer do, then I'm more than prepared to make different choices to ensure a different outcome. I agree that one has to go through feelings to deal with them. They simply cannot be gone over, under, or around.

It is my personal choice not to be weighted down for long or to remain in the down moments of life. I raise the bar and expect more of myself at that time than perhaps any other. It is not because of the my life sucks moments, but rather in spite of them that I make the decision to learn the life's lesson and carry it forward with me to a better place inside myself.

I hope you're feeling better!!
J.

Kelly no offence is ever taken as I know that it is never given here on this board. The great things about us is we can talk and openly express our thoughts and feelings thus each of us can take away that which we will and use it as we will. For my part I grow, I learn, I change and I am enriched! Often through the words of others the direction I am travelling takes a detour and allows me to explore a path I may not have with out your/their/our input and thus I am a better traveller for it.

Thank you all!

I am about to do our last Full Monty show today. I feel like crying and I am sure I probably will after the show. It has been such a wonderful experience!!!! Oh well BUMMER! Got to keep moving. I will love doing the show today and I will think of you all whilst I am out there on stage - lets have fun together.

Janice thank you for the flowers!!! They are beautiful!

No doubt you will be getting some interesting posts from me over the next few weeks??? I wonder where I will be in a month from now??

Curious and excited but for now sad.

Hi PJM,
Glad you liked the flowers from us all. Hopefully they also had a bottle of Coopers attached to them!! For each swig you take, name each one of us one by one who are very proud of you for a job so well done!!

Where will you be in a month?? Well, right here in the midst of those who love you!!! It's OK to cry, as we'll love you all the more. If you didn't I'd think that strange.

Sad is OK as long as your elbows are up, head high, and feet are moving forward. You'll be fab on stage tonight!! Enjoy each precious moment. May your senses drink it all in as you carry your wonderful experience in your heart forever.

Till next time,
J.

Paul, I hope every moment on the stage tonight is a wonderful one and that it won't be long before you are back up there doing what you do best. Crying tears for the ending of something means that the experience was worth it. Good luck!!

Hi Janice. It is always interesting for me to hear another's opinion and how they have reached the conclusions they have. Isn't it amazing to think of the variety of complex inner life journeys that are gathered here in PC alone and this is only a small corner of our world? That's what makes life so interesting and for me, what makes the people I come into contact with on my journey, one of the best things about it.

When it comes to control, I tend to be wary. In my experience, it can be a refuge from what I think is the essentially intangible substance that is the life experience. I have to be careful not to cling to control, but rather to let go and float. This works best for me. I'm glad that you have found a way that works for you. Take care.

Peter, it is good to see your voice here again. You have been missed!

Absolute truths.... Is love in fact the only one??

Count me in for trying to get to Florida next year. Imagine the positive energy of such a gathering!! For my part, I am going to start doing the European Lottery (new here and as big as in the States). You never know! Millie, we could be fighting over who's going to pay for it all!!

Hello Michelle! How are things with you? I hope to order Destiny of Souls on Monday. I haven't been able to find it on the shelves. Is it as good as the first book?

Hello to everyone else in Paul's special Corner of the world!!

Looking forward, as always, to his interesting posts.

Lots of love to everyone,
Mary

Hi Miss Mary: Always good to see your thoughts!!

Peter: Absolute truths: is that a trick question or just an oxymoron in my mind's eye????? HHHHHMMMMMMMMM!!

Thanks to all here who share of themselves so generously and fearlessly. You are great life's teachers and truly unique. I learn from all of you, and hold you close in the safety of my heart.

Till next time PC,
J.

PJM, I've got my fingers crossed for you, while sipping on ginseng tea and trying to get myself into exam mode for school...

I don't know how I'm going to get through uni what with all this travelling I'll be doing next year...first Japan, then Jedi-Con and Comic-Con, now Paul-Con...

BB 'til later,

Jen

Janice, Hi. I guess my point regarding absolute truths is simply that we can take things (anything) a little too seriously.

Mary, G'day. Yep, I reckon there's only one of value, and you nailed it.

Innussiq, tee hee to you too!

Paul, I'm sad for you too. Such a bloody wonderful experience, ending too soon.
I can't imagine the thrill of doing what you do. It's something that most of us will NEVER know.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope that the work situation turns around for you.

Peter

Paul,

I know this will be a tough day for you, or maybe it has been already, not too sure of the time thing.
Think of all us PCers as your worldwide web of support and affection. No matter our individual philosophy of life, or lack thereof, we are all
here because you brought us together, enriching us all. Thank you.

Kelly, that was the gospel according to Mel, and the historians know he got some things wrong, and he based it on the latest gospel written and the vision of some French nuns.. No one had a camera there, remember, and he did want to sell tickets.

hugs to all,
Sally

Oh, PETER! You got me! I totally fell for that one! Not nice!!! ;-)

Yes, it's me. Back from the beyond of sand and some sun and my crazy mother's life. HOW did I end up so normal? (Don't answer that, any of yous!)

I'll go read the latest post of the job being over. Poor Paul. Takes a hit, recovers. Takes a hit, recovers. Repeat ad nauseum.

Smooches!
Dhiana

Mis sitta ajate siin üldse

Hey Paul its me Pip just wanted to let you know that i feel really sad for myself and the guys that you couldnt make it to pink flamenco club on friday it was a complete smash! Anyway i saw an advertisement for you show and i have to say is that you have really gone down hill havent you i mean i expected a lot more from you! YOU GUTLESS WONDER!!!!!!!!

Alright mate like i have to say yeah like that i saw your film the other day the exit to eden one its pornographic man me and my girlfriend decided to watch for some ideas thanks for tips mate.

Exit to Eden is artistic and fun, not pornographic. Believe me! We have DirecTV Television and I know. I have seen pornographic while channel surfing and Exit to Eden is NOT pornographic. Too bad some of you guys are not "man" enough to come up with something on your on and you have to watch movies to get ideas. I guess you can't read so written manuals wouldn't work.