Paul's Corner

my God your life reminds me so much of a friend of mine. he is kinda going through the same thing as you. he is also in the entertainment business but he is a musical entertainer. anyway happy you got a job neverthless
erika

Paul, all I can think of saying is that I hear where you are coming from and all I can think of doing is to acknowledge your understandable frustration. Sometimes the only working definition of going forward is not going backwards. It may not be much help, but I join you in spirit as you face the wall and send my support and belief in you.

Love to you,
Mary

Paul, I honestly dont know how to reply to your post and I guess I wont ( would not wish to make your blood boil)I will join Mary in spirit facing the wall.
M

*wonders what makes pauls blood boil*

What's on the other side of that wall that makes you so certain you want to get there? :)

i think he is unhappy with the state of his career and he wants more...i think that is what he means.i know this cause i have a friend that sounds alot like him.

Paul:
Ah! yes The Wall, one of the very few Pink Floyd Albums I don't care for.

Maybe you are already on the right side of the wall, and the bricks that keep replacing themselves are to keep you where you are. Maybe there's more to come where you are?

Enjoy the new challenge, keep a positive attitude, know we are all behind you 100%. Not too many can say they have this many behind them, supporting their every endeavor.

Hugs to all at the PC corner.
Sherrlyn

Paul
I am happy for you to have work. Bravo, it looks as if you are taking charge. The brick wall! As for me, I agree with Vicki. You may not want to find out what's on the other side.

I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.

Love to everyone here at PC
Marge

Whats on the other side? Tomorrow, the future, the continuing journey.

Sherrlyn, you make an absolutely terrific point, not about the album as I love it(did you ever see the movie?) but about perhaps the wall is keeping me away from the wrong choices. MMMmmmm will think on that.

Thanks

Sherrlyn's perspective reminded me of this:

'Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.'

Illusions - Richard Bach

Take care all,
Mary

Paul,

My thoughts are with you.

Joan DeRosa

Dearest Paul,

Halleluja! I believe it was "bashert" (destined) to happen, and "this could be the start of something big..."

Love, Peace, and Good Luck!

The Mil

Maybe it's too ambitious of me to imagine that I might give you a cheer but here goes...I am an American living in Sydney temporarily. Over this long Anzac weekend I watched Strictly Ballroom with my kids. And how fun was that! We enjoyed your performance tremendously. It had us dancing around the house. A quick internet search led me here. I'm sorry to hear things have been less than amazing for you. But something that you worked on years ago is still bringing joy into other people's lives. How good is that? I have to add that your commitment to your family has rewards that are unmeasurable and what a hero you must be to them and other parents (like me). Thanks.
Dana

Paul...I liked the term "happily depressed". It seems to sum up life experiences very well. There is always a down side to every up side and vice versa. I know you go with the flow, but, of course, you seem happiest when you are a "working actor". Again, I wish you the best of new horizons. I am trying to take a page from your book. My company, Marshall Fields, is owned by another company, Target, and Target has put Marshall Fields up for sale about a month ago. What that final outcome will be for my department remains to be seen. It does no good to worry but still that is easier said than done. Ah, life...such a trip!

Kelly...I feel for you having dealt with the big "C" myself. Scarey shit for sure! I hope the positive energy of the Corner serves you well.

Evelyn...Good luck with the hunt! I may be hitting the bricks myself soon.

Diana...Always good to hear from you. Hope you are thriving.

Mil...Glad to hear the Follies are moving forward.

Pleasant Sunday to all.

Linda

Paul,

I say if you still feel the wall needs to come down,for whatever reason, that's good enough for me.
Where shall we stack the bricks?

hugs and smiles,
Sally

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller

Paul: Yes, I saw the movie on laser disk first, I think that is what turned me against the album, I found it very disturbing. There are a couple of tracks on the album that I really do like and have several Pink Floyd albums along with a collection of Alan Parsons.

Also, if you do feel the need to bring down the wall I'll help Sally stack the bricks somewhere else, but not here, no room. Have room full of furniture coming from AZ and have no idea where we will put it. I feel like I'm living in the Goodwill store and the shop is closed, nothing moving out. It just keeps moving in.

We do have that new sewer line, finally, after how many years??? Had you been stateside, would have had you do it instead. Would rather you have the money we spent.

Well must go fix something for brunch, too late for breakfast and really closer to lunch but want eggs so we shall have brunch.

Hugs to all in PC land, hope your weekend has been more productive than mine.

Sherrlyn

Paul: Sorry that I don't have any words of wisdom to share with you. But...

I absolutely LOVED Pink Floyd's THE WALL. Saw it at the theater, bought the album and the video. I still listen to it in the car on the way to and from work. I saw Roger Water's concert of THE WALL in Germany not too long ago on DirecTV and thought it was quite eye-catching to see the wall being built in the background while he was singing, until the last brick was put in, swallowing the last glimpse of him in the light. A lot of people don't like this work because they think it's the epitome of someone's drugged depression, a hopeless work not worth anything but to drive someone already depressed "over the
edge". I don't see it that way because at the end, he tears down the wall.

We all build walls around us for many reasons: fear, insecurity, lonliness... and like you said, as you pull down bricks, more appear. I think the trick is to tear down the wall faster than the bricks can be replaced until there is no wall left at all. If you can stop beating yourself up all the time for the coulda, woulda, shoulda's and just concentrate on all the good things you have to offer, the joys you have brought to complete strangers, touching them in ways you never knew, little things that you do every day for your family and people you meet, that you don't even think about, all these things that make up "you" will help crumble that wall.

I hear you sling a mean sledge hammer, so go to it!

Thinking of you and all at PC...

Sally

Paul, As for "the wall", you have the ability to walk through it.
Please see my response on the tail of the previous post. Thanks.

Best wishes.

Paul,

I've been thinking quite a while about what I wanted to say. Don't want to make your blood pressure boil.

Here in Holland we always say:
" Het gras lijkt altijd groener over de schutting bij de buren."

Litteral translation:
" The grass always seems to be greener on the other side of the fence at the neighbours."

I think it's the same as thinking that things are better on the other side of the wall.
I don't know if things are better on the other side of the wall, just like the grass isn't always greener at the neigbours.
So I think Vicky and Sherrlyn are right.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

If I'm wrong about this, then please let me know.
(If you need some dynamite)

Love to you, your family.
and everyone here.

Monika

Dear Paul:

In your previous thread, you said, "I realise that acting was 5% of who and what I am."

In this thread, you say you are "happily depressed."

Does that mean you are 5% depressed as an actor and 95% happy otherwise, or does it mean you are 95% depressed and 5% happy as an actor?

Take care,
Claire

Peace to you Paul,

I have now and then looked at this wonderful webpage, especially the " Paul's Corner " and it is such an inspiration to anyone that taps into it. We have 4 kids and there is always "something going on " when I go to type, however, there is always a tug on my arm or a question or blah, blah, blah.Ha!Ha! Now it is at much more leveled pace! I have typed in before here. "Grandma " is always a hoot. Please know that I have sent alot of positive, peaceful vibes your way to you and your beautiful family all the way from Florida, USA. The most moving and tearfull time in here is when I read what you wrote about your brother whom you will always love. My heart just broke for you and the family and I'm sorry, however, there has been an acceptance and a release.I feel that forgiveness and unconditional love are the keys to life. From there everything else falls inplace and makes it's way known. For the next 21/2 months will be a challange but another great lesson on your journey in this life. You have always blessed me with such spiritual inspiration. Peace and happiness always....

Claire, good point. If I am 5% happy as an actor then as a person I would be 95% depressed by the thought that I was only 5% happy as an actor. Better that I am 5% happy about being a person with a job that makes me 95% depressed. In fact if I am only 5% actor but 95% depressed about being an actor and there by as a person 5% percent happy about the other 95% of who I am, it would seem that my 5% happiness outways my 95% depression by a factor of 19 to 1!

Paul
The only time a person's blood boils, is when they come up too fast from deep sea diving.

I'm with Sally. I have plenty of room to stack bricks. My neighbor is a brick layer and he can use all the extra bricks he can get. He did my driveway and front porch, and also on each side of the garage.

Clare made a good point about which is 5% and which is 95% of "happly depressed"?

Does your wall go in a straight line or is it curved?

Kelly
Hope things are going well with you. I am keeping positive thoughts for you. Keep being forceful with the doctor's.

Gran Mil
Glad to hear things are going well with the Follies.

Each day can be the beginning of a wonderful future.

Take care
Marge

Paul:

I'm relatively new here, and I don't mean to always be a downer. It's just that I tend to be a bit introspective - and it's always easier to apply those musings when looking at someone else (that way, I don't have to look at myself, do I?)
You keep plugging away - and you'll get where you want to be (but will you be happy when you get there?) See! There I go again.

On another note, can you tell us sometime about this upcoming job you have? Does it sound like something fun, interesting, etc.?

Vicki

I thought it was a straight line but with more reflection it goes round and surrounds me. I am bricked in!

Vicki I am generally happy now (by a factor of 19 to 1)so when I get to "there" I will be generally happy then. Of course that %5 that is 95% depressed will become 100% happy when it is involved in doing what makes it happy.

Huh?

Paul, Please see the previous thread (again).
There's a 95% clarification (I'm 5% sure of that, I think).

Paul, being bricked in sounds very claustrophobic and isolated. How about looking at it as being at a starting point, with the different parts of who you are opening up in pathways in front of you. The wall is blocking the part of you that is an actor and needs creative outlets and also the part of you that is a provider. The job you have has its drawbacks, but it does allow you to at least see through some cracks in the wall to the other side and if, hopefully, you go on to get even one other opportunity, even if too has its limitations, there may be enough to be able to start dismantling some of the bricks. It doesn't matter if you have to squeeze through rather than smash the wall down. Being mobile is what counts, even if you have to stay in first gear for a while. In the meantime, you are free to journey down all the other pathways of who you are - father, husband, friend, cook, beermaker etc. I know looking at it like this is not going to change the situation, but maybe it would help to make you feel less hemmed in. Just a thought.

Mary

confused

Thanks Mary. As I read your post I realised that lately I have been doing something I have always hated - running. I mean at the gym and not away from the path! I do feel hemmed in and constrained etc and I realsie now that my running at the gym is a reaction to getting out and being able to move - strangely enough at the gym you dont actually move in any direction LOL!! But it feels good to at least feel unencumbered.

Erika and Vicki dont be confused, it's really all quite simple - life.

Paul

Huh? Was that a brain bubble?

I think we would all like to know what sort of work you are going to be doing. Do you think that by telling us, you will jinx the work?

Only you can get to the other side your brick wall. No one is going to throw you a rope or provide a ladder. It only takes a small rock to start chipping away at the mortar and getting the bricks to start coming down. Have you thought of tunneling under? Start now and get on with it.

Scrambled Squares?
Marge

"Erika and Vicki dont be confused, it's really all quite simple - life"

OMG PAUL SPOKE TO ME. *sigh*

Hi Paul and All,
Just taking a few minutes to let you know I am still here . . .I think! Underlying it all (the 5-95, 95-5, etc.), Paul, your good humor and wit still comes through and for that I remain grateful. I guess we have all had our walls before us. . .mine remained until I decided that I truly liked myself and could accept that. Whatever this means re: you!

Yeah Marge!

Paul

If life is so simple, then why do we make it so complex? Try not to think too awfully much--happily depressed echoes hours of thoughts circling around and around. Sounds like me when I've been musing on one subject and my positive sanity starts to teeter, just a wee bit! After all, there's a little breeze blowing outside the window and laughter on the air...

Love to all,
Maile

Paul, I'm never really good at saying the right thing at the right time this is no different. Perhaps its the fact I haven't had a chance yet to live? I had a great childhood, always knew what I wanted to do and did it. But still I've been quite sheltered. I haven't even been out of Australia! But anyway,

A friend told me "hardest thing in this world is to live in it" damn right. How come some people get over things quickly while others (namely me) dwell on the bad things and never think about the good times?

So thats what Im concentrating on. And Paul, we are all happy you got a job regardless of the restrictions.

Good Morning All,

It's 8 am and its hard to get my brain to work in the first half hour of waking up. The dog is still sleeping and hasn't even asked to go out in the yard. My husband is giving finals this morning so he left at 7am.

You know, dear Paul, that I am the worst at giving any insight, but I will stumble over myself and attempt it.

There are many things that I wish I could be, want, or do. ANd there are things that I wanted to accomplish and did successfully. But then when the euphoria wore off I would say to myself, "ok, what next". And then when I have days like these when I am not faced with much challange, or any for that matter, I get a little depressed and wonder where my life is leading. It can get depressing, indeed. Life isn't just accomplishing that one thing its continually facing challenges and accomplishing tasks.

I'm constantly reinventing myself and no matter how successful we are, we have to keep challanging ourselves and reinventing who we are. Without it, we find no meaning in life. We are born creative and analytical thinkers so its in our destiny to face new challanges on a continues basis.

Happiness comes in small increments I've noticed.

I try to get what I can when I can when it comes to happiness. Every day brings something to feel joyous about, whether its taking a walk with the neighbors (and gossiping like crazy), talking to my grandmother over the phone,hearing from an old friend, having my favorite meal at my favorite restaurant, or reading a book that I absolutely love. Eventually it adds up. Whether I was a top notch journalist/writer, or a college proffessor I would still seek these things out. My work doesn't always define what I am happy out, or what gives me joy. No matter if it's my dream career or not.

Look at Grandma Millie, she is the perfect example of someone in showbiz. She is constantly challenging herself, reinventing, creating, she's a good example of what the reality is with any creative work. Think about it Paul you are acting, seeking, creating, finding, reinventing, you're actually on the right track.

Got to go, the dog woke up.

Take care all!

What a thread.
I understand you may not want to expound on what you're doing for feeling the possiblity of jinxing it. That's the way my mind works.

Speaking of walls. There are many types. Think of the wall of China. It's such a beautiful landmark. People travel thousands of miles to take a look. It's awe inspiring. Then again there was the Berlin wall..it needed to come tumbling down and so it did. So brick by brick or stone by stone we examine that wall. If we really need to get over it we take the materials we have inside and create something to crawl or climb over it..some walls are too thick to burst through you must hurdle over.
I'm sure this new job will give you inspiration to do more creative things in the future. At least you are in the memory of many.
I was just meditating this morning on my own destiny. It appears so morbid and useless at the moment that it qualified to be examined. In the whole grand scheme of things so many of us are totally forgotten. My great grand parents for example. I have not a clue who they were, where they were from or anything like that. My youngest children will never really know my mom. When I'm dead and gone a couple of generations will pass and anything I've done will amount to nothing. However, for those in the public eye...they hold a key to the future. My kids see movies all the time. They watch some with Lucille Ball in it and think they are such a hoot. They ask about her and i have to tell them she passed away, but she made an impression on them. And so it goes with so many different actors/actresses they see in movies. You are filmed into history yourself. Way beyond our on walls...the future will be looking back for answers and for incredible dance..they will find a movie called Strictly Ballroom and their questions will be answered. This Paul Mercurio guy...He was incredible. The Timmer...I'll just be part of the gravel in the sea.

Good luck Paul. Love to the family.

peace and love

Tim

Paul
I guess my last comment is the last thing you wanted tohear. I hadn't read the last part of the last thread. Let me re-phrase that journey back into history. They will not only be looking for great dancers but actors as well..They will run across your name. But just think so many actors were known for dancing and did very well and didn't always dance...Fred Astaire, Gene kelly, Ginger Rogers, Debbie Reynolds...although I don't know how much she really danced. Point is..you are in the history books of film and students of film will find your name under various catgories, suspense, dance, love, etc.

All the best
Tim

Paul,

Suppose "the wall" never comes down....
Suppose the endless pursuit of what's on the other side is in vain. Perhaps you've already made your mark. Perhaps you are meant to either move on or prioritize other things.

If the wall never comes down, and when your of advanced age, will you look back and think that you've never accomplished your goal, or will you think that you've wasted time concentrating on the wrong things.

Acting is an art and you are an artist, but you have other potentials as a artist and as a person as well.

Allison

hey paul how are you doing i am a big fan of yours and i have a question to ask do you like music like clay aiken kimberely locke and have you heard of american idol and do you like actor like tom cruise.

Paul, I've recently been reading the book Illusions (thanks, Mary!), which has an interesting passage about walking through walls.

After continually asking the Messiah (Don Shimoda) if he can walk through a brick wall, the narrator finally comes up with the answer on his own, "So you're saying that body is illusion and wall is illusion but identity is real and that can't be hemmed by illusions." Hmmmmm.

Further down the page the Messiah says, "Argue for your limitations and you get to keep them." That hit home for me because I'm so guilty of keeping my thinking linear and staying inside this self-designed box I call my reality.

Anyway, like Peter said, I think you can walk right through it.

Love to you,
Michelle

These are to quotes I think of when I feel like my bricks are stacking to high.
One of my favorite authors, the voice of the housewife, Erma Bombeck once said "the grass is always greener over the septic tank." So there you have it with out s**t life is dull. My Auntie Ella used to say "a life without challenge is a life without merit".
My two cents..or is that my 5%?
peace

gosh that's so true! Would we be so determined to pursue our dreams if they were too easy to achieve?

Tim, you, like me, make a mark on people every day, I, like you, one day will be just part of the gravel in the sea. I am not going to buy in to the idea that you dont and or havent left any mark upon any one or that because I am on celuloid I will be remembered for ever - I wont. One day the celuloid will also be just sea dust.

You my friend have made a mark on me and as I make a mark on others dont you know that a little part of you goes with it? As you are a product of your parents past and there parents past and there..etc.. as DNA is passed along from generation to generation so to is the mark we make on those around us and those we touch emotionally, spiritually and physically. To make someone smile in the street today is far more important to me than knowing an old film canister will be sitting on a shelf in 100 years.

Alison, you frightened me with your questions :) My answer is when I look back on my life I will think what a magnicant journey that was! Of course the wall will come down that is the challenge I have set myself for the moment - I have expressed my frustration at the seeming difficulty of the task. As for making my mark already - yes I have and in quite wonderful and varied ways over the years. One never stops making their mark. As I said to Tim - making someone smile today is a wonderful legacy to share.

Mawqhan, I have found and I urge you to train your self away from thinking about the down things or the negative things and work towards thinking about the good things. We all think about the bad stuff and that is necessary and healthy as long as you discard it after you have given it some thought. To focus on your dreams and to think positively about your self and your future is what will bring about you goals and your positive growth as a person. I know yo are working towards this and I commend you for that. Keep going and keep smiling!!

PAUL
I make someone smile every time I wear a T-shirt that says; "My mind works like lightening, one brilliant flash and it's gone!"

I used to have an obnoxious Doctor who always put me on the defensive and made my feel like I was going to see my parole officer. At each appointment, I made sure I wore a T-shirt with a very haughty cat walking toward you. The caption read; "Places to go, people to annoy!" I used to get a lot of smiles from cat lovers who knew exactly what this cat meant.

I am now in the process of reading a book called "The Purpose Driven Life. I am on day 2 and it runs very close to what you descibed in your second paragraph about who we are and where we come from.

I don't know of any film that has been shown over and over like SB over the past 12 years. Do you want us to just dump our copy in the crapper and forget you. I DON'T THINK SO?

Old film canisters? They are restoring as many as they can. Your old film canister my dear friend may some day be a classic.

I am getting a little braver in "stepping on your toes" and being more realistic about your careers. (plurel)

Every day holds the possibility of a miracle.

Chuckle Chuckle, I just made a typo in the last quote by typing an "i" instead of an "o' in possibility
I'm still laughing.

Love to all
Marge

To heck with tearng down the wall. Look for a door - or a window! Smile everybody!

Vicki

Forgot to mention, I just saw an OZ horsey video called, "The Silver Stallion, King of the Wild Brumbies, starring Russel Crowe. (1994) I got it mainly because most of it was filmed in Victoria, Australia. I kind of lost the story line just watching the beautiful scenery in it.

Take Care
Marge

H E L L O !!!!!!

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller

Paul wrote (somewhere back amidst the posts): If I am 5% happy as an actor then as a person I would be 95% depressed by the thought that I was only 5% happy as an actor. Better that I am 5% happy about being a person with a job that makes me 95% depressed. In fact if I am only 5% actor but 95% depressed about being an actor and there by as a person 5% percent happy about the other 95% of who I am, it would seem that my 5% happiness outways my 95% depression by a factor of 19 to 1!

To which Vicki replied ‘Huh?’ and to which Erika replied ‘Confused’.

Vicki and Erika, allow me to clarify Paul’s thinking. First, a bit of history. After a bout of one too may beers, Paul has been known to speak in tongues -- I believe this is simply another such episode. Yet, there is a mathetical method to his madness … Let me go get my abacus and I will illustrate.

What Paul means there is that he is [click click click … click clickety click click] (4 times 5 carry the 2 add to 4 times 9 that’s 39, wait 40)… minus 5 times 4 minus 19 factorial 1 … what Paul means is that he’s 400% happy by the thought that he’s 95% times 4 factorial 19 times depressed minus 5%. Got that?

I tell you. This man is a genius.

Paul,

You appear a tad miffed at "getting" to work only 6 days out of 2.5 months of contract, my friend. Hmm ... See, some of us in the contracting business call this type of job a Dream Come True. You're not seeing the glass half full, mate.

Let me paint a picture: YOU ONLY HAVE TO WORK 6 DAYS!! The rest of the time, you can loll around doing nothing while in full possession of the ULTIMATE excuse for laziness: You're working! As in, sorry can't help you shave your pet goat tonight, mate, I'm working. Sorry honey, can't clean out the garage today, I'm on call, working, you know how that is.

Ok so maybe the DNA floats down the line, however, as mentioned, films are restored and studied. Brought up as a true southern boy (gag) don't ask me how many times I saw Gone with the Wind. The Ten Commandments. Ben Hur. Till the end of time. Each of them has a meaning to me. These films will always be useful to students of the art of film and dance and song. So Mr. Celluloid..you do have me beat. But I agree we are both fathers and husbands and if we try hard enough we can made a legacy with in our family. My wife and I have decided to move next spring. Destination unknown. For me it would be a couple of thousand miles away at the minimum. Australia being one destination on my list. Tell me my friends from OZ, why would someone here tell me they've heard bad things about OZ and that I wouldn't want to live there. What's up with that. All I've ever heard are good things from visitors and from people that I knew from there. It's hard as hell to get in down there. All you have to do here is fit in a trunk of the car.
My wifes family is taking their annual beach outing at the end of May. Her sister is coming back from 10 day's in Paris this Thursday, only to turn around and go to Florida a couple weeks from that. So sad. At any rate, the trip overlaps our tap recital. My wife informed me that she would not cut the trip short to bring the boys back. I couldn't even drive down and bring them back early. Does she have me by the balls or what?
A whole 2nd year wasted...well not wasted I guess we enjoyed it, but we don't even get to perform. Which is the climax of the work. It's the rush you only get on that stage.
I'm sure most of you have skipped on down, but sometimes I just have to vent.
It's 4:07 in the morning here, I can't sleep worth shit anymore. My doctor put me on Limitrix and sleep is a varigated event.
I love you guys...
take care..

The Timmer

Outside a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx

Paul,

Your response to my question was fantastic and so positive !!! I believe that was the best blog you've ever written ( in addition to some of your poems and your advice to Mawqhan). Anyway, it was great to get a dose of your positive side.

Allison

P.S. didn't mean to frighten you:)

"Vicki and Erika, allow me to clarify Paul’s thinking. First, a bit of history. After a bout of one too may beers, Paul has been known to speak in tongues -- I believe this is simply another such episode."

HAHA ROTFLMAO!

Another bit of nonsense

Awake awake the dawn in near
The air is filled with atmosphere
While down the road a hunk of cheese
Lifts up it's ears to feel the breeze

Tim, you need your sleep!

Call you doctor and tell him/her that this medication is effecting your sleep patterns and ask if there is another option in meds. You're not suppose to trade in one problem for another with when taking medication.

And ask your doctor if you can try a sleep supplement, like Melatonin, to get you back into a normal sleep pattern.

All my best for a good night sleep.

Hey all,

Tim, love to you, you need it! Try to get some sleep any way you can. 20 minutes will do you wonders. Keep your head up, always.

I go for my surgical biopsy Friday, eeech!! He will decide when he get in there if he will take a peice of the lymphnode or the whole thing. (he has 4 to choose from) I asked if I got a free neck tuck out of the deal and he said Yes! but only on the one side, darn. I can't wait for this to be over as I should know if its cancer about an hour after surgery. FINALLY . Then we can focus on getting me better. then I can have my nasel surgery and then my shoulder surgery. My employer is sooooooooo excited about all my impending surgerys!

Hanh, I think Paul is bummed about the "only 6 days" thing because while he only has to work 6 days. he is probobly only being paid for those six days, and they are drug out over 2 months. That would be hard not being able to comit to any other project during that time.

Love to all,
Kelly

Hello All,

First....

Tim-Sleep, my man, sleep!! Without it-we make decisions and have conversations that make no sense!!

Paul-Congrats on the job! Since there seems to be alot of cliches going on here-here's another:
The grass is just different on the other side. Funny, after reading your post-I can relate. I'm happily depressed, too. But, I'm not going to analyze this deeply. It is what it is. I best explained it yesterday to someone-my world is blandly colored right now. I'm not feeling bad and I'm not feeling great. I just am feeling. And, my friend, you are right where you're supposed to be. Best of luck on the new job and I have every faith that you'll do it well.

Millie-Just how are the Follies going?

To the rest of PC-hello!!

HUGS!
Abeth

Timmer, sorry you and the boys will miss the recital. Just remember, I am holding a place for you in "Follies" to do your tap routine with all the PC guys in the front row to cheer you on!

Abeth, "Follies" is in order, and the cast is working hard, especially the dancers. I have two women from the community, who, in their former lives, were in show biz, one being a choreographer of ice shows, and the other one a real showgirl from England who appeared in English movies and on TV. She showed me her publicity pixs, and she was a knockout.

She calls me "dahling", and is so flamboyant, she is intoxicating! She doesn't make a simple statement when she talks, it is an Oscar winning conversation, and for her age (which I don't know) she is beautiful still.

Her second husband is very ill, obese, and does not get around, but she says they are good together. She takes time to do a few things she enjoys, like helping me, taking tap lessons, and playing bridge during the day, and she is home in the evenings with her husband. He is a brilliant man, was a pharmacist, and is a master bridge player.

These two women are trying to whip our senior women into simple routines, and it's working beautifully, and everyone is having fun at the same time! We had only one rehearsal a week, but starting this coming week, we will have two rehearsals a week until showtime. That will make a difference.

Kelly, thinking of you. You've been so brave, our prayers are with you, Diane too!!

Peace and Love,

The Mil

Hi Kelly...I'm rather new here, but happy that things are finally "happening" for you. prayin away those ol' butterflies in your stomach, and for the doctors, too! hope this thing doesnt drag on too long.

Grandma Mil, the Follies sounds like fun. Will you tell me more about it? I already love you, you're so newsy and spunky. Sounds exciting over there.

Paul, I've felt guilty about my old post on not thinking. I didn't exactly mean quite that. It's just that as I was posting the sky was so BLUE. Well don't fear that you are building the walls up...I don't think you have the bricks capable of building up the walls to box you in in that sort of way, when you've been so passionate at pursuing the beyond. Wish we could all create the skylights for you in this finicky entertainment industry. Damn! Well we're behind you anyways.

Tim, I hope the sleeping sorts itself out soon. It's hard to feel good when it's out of kilter.
As for the tap dancing - look at it this way, as Millie says, we'll all get to see your stunning debut! Take care.

Hi Michelle! I'd forgotten about the 'walk through the wall' in Illusions. Very appropriate! Hope all is well with you.

Hi to you Peter. Sending some 'good vibes' down your way.

Kelly, wishing you the best for Friday. Good luck!

Diane, good to hear from you in the last thread. Best wishes to you.

Hi Hanh! Good to see you back.

Hello to Janice, Katalina, Whit & Dhiana - they who are missed!

To all the usual suspects - Millie, Inn, Evelyn, Lori, Marge, Julie, Sallys C & D, Sherrlyn, Monika, Linda, Joan, bluedog - love to each of you.

And to all the newcomers (so many!), it's great having your energy around. Love to you all too.

And to you Paul, I wish wide open spaces & the energy and opportunity to cross them.

Have a good night/day everyone, whichever suits.

Mary

Hahn re helping you to shave your goat - that could sound rude but I wont go there - Yes I have plenty of time as although I am working 6 days over the next 2.5 months I am only being paid for those 6 days over the next 2.5 months. So for a fee I will shave any bodies goat as I have 2.5 mths minus 6 dys to the factor of (2 x 10) where I can work for others.

How many days is that? The correct answer will recieve a prize!

Tim, see if you can change your meds so you can get some sleep. I am sorry to hear about the trip and the tap recitel timing not working out. It is not for me to say more about that as it is between you , your boys and your wife. How do your boys feel about it? Did you mean to imply you are not going on the trip? And if so you can still do the recitel even though the boys are away on their holiday. I know the tap dancing is something you take a lot of joy in and being with your sons is a big part of it but it is also something you do for yourself. So if you can you should do the recitel for you - because it is your thing and no one can take that from you - unless you let them.

As for living in Oz: a part from the venomous, snakes and spiders, the great white shark attacks and killer crocs it's quite a nice place to live and easy to get to also - just follow the yellow brick road!:) I'll see you at the end of it!

Dear Paul,
I'm thrilled and honored to be part of this site, where we can express our opinions, thoughts(or shall I say, brainstorming)and exchange ideas with someone as accomplished as yourself! Pardon my naivete' in assuming that someone who needs to support a big beautiful family will just sit down and wait for opportunities. Time is very important, especially for those of us beyond 40. I'm glad that you are currently shooting a film! Is it Aus or Hollywood? I read somewhere, months ago that Hollywood are discouraging filming in Aus. They totally ignored Cold Mountain at the Oscars! As for dancing programs here in the US- there are none. So far, the biggest hits are The American Idol and The Apprentice. Maybe you can give Mark Burnette some ideas? He is currently featured in Newsweek or Time as the reality Guru who came from England and used to sell T-shirts in Venice Beach, Ca. If you ever need a place to stay in Ca., my oldest sister lives near La, in Aliso Viejo(near Laguna Beach). If she sees your film, she'll probably roll out the red carpet! If you need a place in South Florida, near Miami, you and you family are welcome too(this includes NY)! Keep tunneling through this wall, hobnob with the right people and attend events and causes-well, you know what I mean! All the stars does it. After all, you are in show business!

Hi Paul and everyone on here

I am definately moving away from the negative thoughts in my life. Its taking me quite a while to realise that its human nature to always dwell on the bad times but it's the good times we need to live for.

Besides Im surrounded by friends, family and a cute little black and tan Dachshund who continually keep me laughing.

And living in OZ is great, except the weather, im still contemplating moving to Tasmania or somewhere cooler. oh and as someone else said the Snakes, spiders just keep your shoes on when walking in the bush :-)

Geez, a person misses a few days and walls are built that need to be torn down, tunneled under or broken through and confusion reigns--hmmmm, sounds pretty much like a normal week in my life!! Well, at least the confusion reigning part!! :?)

Paul, am I understanding this right? For the 2 months you are under contract for the 6.5 days, if some great opportunity comes along you pretty much are sh** out of luck? I am hoping that confusion is reigning supreme right now and I am totally off base. If not, no wonder you are frustrated!! Goat shaving?? You and Hahn are just too funny! Hmmm....maybe you and Hahn need to start a comedy act?? Just a thought! :?) But I did kind of like the "how-to video" idea for those of us that would like to learn to dance but don't have access to a dance studio.

Tim, I hope you will take Paul's advice and think about going ahead with the recital. Please talk to your dr about the sleeplessness! You need to take good care of yourself!!

Mil, sounds as if things are coming right along with the follies!! I can hardly wait till February!! I'll write soon!

Kelly, you are in my thoughts and prayers, as usual!!

Hello to Mary, Evelyn, Hahn, Marge, Monika, Peter and everyone else on PC! Welcome to all the newbies!! Love and good thoughts to each of you old and new!

Marge...You tickled me with "My mind works like lightening, one brilliant flash and it's gone!" I will use that if you don't mind.

Good evening to the corner,

Linda

Lori, you got something there on the comedy act. I'll need to consult my agent/goatherd/hair dresser on this (he's up for parole any day now. He was recently incarcerated for impersonating an attorney when caught drafting a contract for a Melbourne actor saying he would be working 6 days with 73 days off, instead of working 73 days with 6 days off. I had to hock 8 of my goats to post his bail.

Anyway, how about it, Paul? The Vu-Mercurio Comedy Hour (I would get top billing naturally from the sheer weight of my star power). We could go into international syndication, we would top Survivor Thailand, The Batchelor, AND American Idol! Think about it, Paul.

Have your people call my people.

[baaaaahhh]

Better yet - lets do lunch!

Hanh...You add such spice. Your writing is funny as hell. Luv it.
Thanks all for the med correction notice. I'm working on it.
Glad to hear there's only natural causes that would effect a wonderful life in OZ. Here in Atlanta we have pollen in Spring that makes it insufferable, tornados, rattlesnakes, rednecks, and road rage. The odds of being attacked by a road rager are far greater than the attack of a great white.
Hanh you do need to have your people call Pauls people and arrange a lunch in ?
Food for thought on the dance recital. It is something I feel strongly about. My 10 soon to 11 year old was really torn about it. He's worked hard and made a lot of progress this year. But his mom wore him down. My 6 year old already has his bags packed. Hell if I were six I would too. The bliss of being young and not understanding when your parents are trying to give you something to remember about your youth other than you went to school.
I'm sending positive thoughts your way Kelly. It is positive on your part to address it so openly and know you may hear a word you don't like. You are prepared to hit head on whatever you need to and the other operations can take place and before you know it..you'll be in ship shape. You need to work on your Dr., about giving you a lift on the other side. They can arrange something. My sleep apnea surgery included a nose job.
Aunt Mil great to hear from you as always. Does "dahling" still have a strong english accent? I just love those accents. I think Aussie is my favorite.
And Paul..mate you are really a great guy. I'd love to bring the family and skip on down the yellow brick road. Thanks for the personal responses. That means a lot. You make a huge impact on a lot of people. Everyone on this board benefits from free expression here. Thank you.

gotta go..

peace and love

Tim

Yeah, Timmer, that accent was veddy, veddy English...however, I said, "Jackie, do you know how to do an Australian accent, my favorite accent?"

She retorted with "Of course, dahling, I lived in Australia for 4 years" and she began her Aussie speak, and I was practically rolling on the floor with laughter (now THAT'S a sight to behold) for it sounded like something out of the Outback with Crocodile Dundee, and not out of Sydney with our Scott and Fran!

When you guys come to the FIF, I will introduce you to my Jackie!

Peace and Love, Mates,

The Mil

Hey all,
Devistated in Michigan, not about my helth, though. Ya all know how I absolutly LIVE to watch my son play sports, well he had his first tournament last weekend and he looked GREAT pitching great hitting them 300 feet (yes .. in the air nearly clearing the fence). stealling bases, he looked great, this was his year. One of the coaches were making the kids run this stupid "base running" drill that is so stupid. well, Clay and my husband are against this particular drill to the end (my husband is one of the coaches) but Clay being raised to respect what an adult tells you, did the drill with all he had. .... and broke his foot! We just knew with this drill something bad would happen to one of the kids. I know it sounds funny but I feel like my life ended. I live to watch this kid play baseball or football or whatever. he is like poety in motion. I am not kidding. Thats not just a proud mom. He is really going to be somthing. Ans with his honor roll status, he cant lose. He has to see an orthopedic surgon tommorrow.I drank a beer last nmight and now my head hurts so bad but I cant take an asperin per my surgery on friday. Also. Clay informed me he is not going to play freshman football next year. I am telling you my life is falling apart around me. I told him that was fine but inside I am crumbling. I know go aheah and blast me for thinking so much of sports, but we are a sports drivin family and we dont put any pressure on him with it either, i know thats the next thought in ya all' head, he is just so good at it. he was totally devistated. it's odd to see a boy bigger than youdriven to such tears and agony, not over the injury but not being able to paly. its heartbreaking. I cheered him up a biut when I told him at least he saved me 4 weeks of vacation time this summer.(i take alot of time off per we travel around michigan to different tournaments.) Well I am done venting and crying, well maybe not crying. I need some more Hanh postings to make me feel better.

Kel :)

I cant think of anything to say to cheer you up except THANK GOD I HAVE GIRLS they never broke nothing playing Barbie!!

Thinking of you though! And sending love and healing thoughts for your surgery!

Well actually they broke my budget but they were so cute! Aand still are! My 14 year old had a friend over the other day and they played dolls together!! Very uncool except they absolutley loved it! Kids/adults/people.... never forget the child in you/that you are and always will be!

Linda
Be my guest!

Kelly
Warm and positive thoughts as your going into new horizons on your tests.

Gran Mil & Timmer
Keep Dancin'

Hanh
Glad to hear from you again!

Paul
As my daughter rode horses for 25 years, she had her share of accidents, a shattered elbow from a fall while jousting, a part of her knee, (she was running through the woods chasing her tree at the time; yes that's right, her tree.)

May life's greatest gifts always be yours --happiness, memories and dreams.

Take care
Marge

Paul,

Why hasn't someone snapped you up already and published your beautiful words???

Thank you so much for that lovely interlude...

Sally

"Against the odds I am staying positive in an anxious slightly stressed and mildly depressed sort of way."

This statement concerns me. I know you practice visualization, so you know how your thoughts affect your life. Being "anxious slightly stressed and mildly depressed" counteract whatever positive thoughts you have. If you truly had faith, would you feel this way? No, you would KNOW that it is happening, even if it hasn't appeared on the surface. You would feel at peace because your goal is being manifested. I think this is something that is getting in your way.

A really good book on manifesting is Sanaya Roman's "Creating Money". There's also a website on manifesting. Go to www.orindaben.com and click on the forums. Go to the "Manifesting through Divine Will" forum or the "Increasing Prosperity and Abundance" forum.

Tim,

Did you get anything for your sleep? I hate to admit it, but since no one here actually knows me I will tell you that I have manic depression and have a terrible problem with sleep. (I have actually gone for as long as three or four days without sleep.) The doctor put me on something called Ambien which helps me sleep like a baby. Off course, I also take a lot of other stuff (Depakote and Lexapro), but it is the Ambien that helps me sleep. You may have a chemical imbalance that is stopping you from sleeping and you might need to see a doctor about it. Good luck with this. It was a long road for me to find the right doctor.

Helllllooooooo!!!!

Godz, where to start? The Wall - I LOVE the "illusion" philo. VERY well stated, and something to which *I* aspire to remembering and applying. (Wish the bank would undertake that philosphy as well..."Really, Ms. Hershey, go ahead and TAKE that 30K loan out--we know you're imagining the BEST outcome possible for your husband's job search!" ;-) Well...it works most of the time!

Hanh - you're KLLING me (and did anyone catch the "sheer" pun that I don't even know if SHE intended?) Very ripe.

Kelly - that totally sucks about Clay's foot. The POOR kid! "This was his year!!!" ;-) Our 7-yr old made it into the Minor League (normally 8-9 yr olds) and they let him pitch--which I was TOTALLY against, he's emotionally not ready for that level of responsibility to the team-- and I about threw up. Being an Empath is totally cool when you're helping a friend with a marital issue, or trying to guage just how much to divulge to a T-ball mom about her son's behaviour, but when it comes to feeling exactly what your kid is feeling as a heightened 7-yr old doing EXACTLY what he's always dreamed of doing, and then combining that with the Mom-instincts that come equally as heavilly...UGH! He was fine. Thankfully, there are convienient porta-potties, since I react to everything intestinally. Gross! But true...bleah.

Paul and Peter - Quit your damned day jobs (oh, sorry Paul, just a phrase!) and get your writings published. Triple mortgage the house, go into seclusion, and BE. Then journal it. Then buy a banner ad on Amazon and go nuts. Live like the kings you are.

Allright, that is JUST about enough hooey from me. Timmer, love ya, man! Isn't it amazing what a meditation can bring? (And note to All: meditations can take place anywhere...in the car waiting to pick up your kid, staring out the window while doing the dishes, walking the dog, sitting on the john--seriously! Just LISTEN to yourselves...give yourself that courtesy every day.)

Jumping off yet-another soapbox...
In Love and Light,
Dhiana of the Crazy Springtime Farm life (births all over the place! Sorry, Paul, I can't employ you to come shave my chickens. They'd take issue with that. The DOGS would laugh their arses off, though...oh hey, you can shave my Newfies! Woo-hoo! That's about a 2-day per dog job. And you wouldn't have to sleep in the old chicken coop that we're moving and remodeling into a guest house. (We are NOT telling my mother it used to be a chicken coop--she'd D*I*E, she and her 2.5 karat freaking engagement ring. Ya'll know how I am a BIG fan of excess...))

Jaysus--I'm going already!
**poof!**