Paul's Corner

Paul,
Why so melancholy?
--Spivey

It seems that I have timed my return to the Corner with that of Paul's. How serendipitous! I am just pulling myself out of a mega busy summer of family (son's wedding), work (new job, I hope), political activism (right to practice issues), and professional recognition. I too have chose to run but now am a bit weary.

It's good to be back!

Linda

Paul-

What sadness comes through your message. I can almost see you slumped and defeated. What has caused such grief? What has caused you to want to give up the race and stay on the sidelines? This isn't you. This isn't the Paul I've seen in countless posts say the opposite - that you can't give in. It worries me that your spark has been shut out like this. To not even see your path, to feel that it is gone and have no faith that it leads out of this is not like you.

The path is there Paul. It leads up and out of this place your are in. Trust in yourself to know which way to go. Close your eyes and use what is inside of you to lead. It's there - believe it. Rest if you must. We all need times to just regroup, but don't turn your back and refuse to see. Don't let it win. Don't let the fog control and stay. Get mad if you must. Curse and yell and kick and scream, but step up and move forward. Clarity will return and the path will be even again. Dig deep Paul, it's there, you're just too tired to deal with it right now, but you will and we'll be with you to help you find your way.

Sit here for awhile. Let us refresh you and encourage you on. Then step forward and run.

hugs and love

Jill

Paul,
I'm sorry to hear you so down. But when you are tired, in mind, body, or spirit, things seems worse than they are.
I'm hoping the fog will lift soon, and the sunshine will be waiting.
hugs,
Sally

Are you resting in a hammock under a shady tree, Paul? Maybe your dreams are clouded over, but the sun will be out when you wake up. Sending you thoughts and prayers in this journey of life.

...aloha to all! Here's to a wonderful week that will be.

Paul- Throughout the day I've been thinking about what you said. I don't know what is up. Maybe it's big or maybe you're just tired of feeling like everything is a struggle. I've also thinking about my response. I don't feel I expressed what I meant well enough. The curse of a teacher if always feeling like that. I thought I'd share a personal story to help. Last year on this date I was struggling through my first chemo. I had received my first dose the day before. I had started running a race I never wanted to run. Many times I was pissed at the fact I had been put on the track. There were days I was tired. Not physically but mentally. I didn't want to wake up and face the fact I had cancer. I wanted to hide. The worst was, I heard over and over "you're handling this so well". I was, but the truth was, no one wanted to see the days I wasn't handling well. The days the race got to be too much. They all wanted to believe I was always positive, always smiling. It was easier for them that way. On the days where I was so tired, I did rest. I'd go to bed early, curl under the covers, listen to whatever cop show was on and rest. But what I did next is what really mattered. The next day I got up, played with my kids and went to work. The day after that, I did the same. Even tho, at times, the fog kept me from seeing that that treatments would ever end I kept walking forward. As I told everyone - what choice did I have. All cancer survivors know, you rest when you have to, but your also keep walking. Rest is important but living is what it's about.

Okay I'm done now. I'll shut up - especially since I've posted twice! Be well.

Jill

Dear Paul,

Perhaps if you go back to your previous thread and read the comments from Claire and Karla, and look at Jill's above, some of your problems might not seem as big as you think they are.

Be well.

interesting...

I am just having a winge because I felt like it. Sally you are right to point out as you did, for I dont have anywhere near the size of problem nor seriousness of problem as others have. That said, at times it does feel like a life or death struggle. One that I would never give up on and I have no doubts as to where the sun is, nor to the power of positivity but sometimes you just have to drop ya bundle, sit on the dirt and have a grumble, chuck the stuff away that is weighing you down and then get back up and get on with it.

A little more sleep would certainly help. Working on that.

If you have any ideas on how to get more sleep,let me know! I don't sleep very well anymore.

Jill

Paul,
Glad to see you back. I remember not too long ago when you you were down because you didn;t have ENOUGH work, now youre you are being pulled in every direction. Whe it rains, it pours! Plus all of your side projects you have going on, you have a right to collapse. Certainly you must feel a certain satisfaction in knowing what is causing your exhaustion is padding the bank account a bit. That must feel wonderful. Take a few days to rest, then off you go again. Take care and love your family. They are the greatest gift of all. I know first hand, I could not make it without mine.

I hope it was ok Clay used your poems for school work. I was proud to show them to him.

I did more home improvement things this weekend. That seems to make me smile the most. Well, ok football does, but thats second.

My daughter is going to play flag football for the YMCA in a co-ed team. Lord, what I letting her get into? Clay does so much, how can I tell her no.

Jill, Claire, Karla, Thinking of you always.

Has anyone heard from Diane? Hope she is fine.

Love to all on the corner.

Kelly

Opps , forgot to comment on the thread.

"I would rather run and fall than take no chance at all."

I don't feel so ambitious. I used to be very spontanious and not afaid to try new things, or fail trying. I am not so brave these days. I feel so much more conservative. I used to love a challenge, hunger for one. I think of a challenge now and I just cringe. I was thinking last night about when all my medical stuff started and it has been one year this month. I can't believe so much has happened in one year. It's unbelievable to me. I hope this time next year it is all over and I can look back and think that I made it through with my head held high. Well, I am trying to keep my head high and thats all anyone can do.

So right now, I have to say I am lazy and don't feel like running, but I don't feel like failing either, so I will keep chugging along if I get a few sprints of speed , then great. If not, thats ok too.

Hope everyone is fine.

Kelly

Saddly what probably contributes to the defeated attitude type thing I get every now and then is the fact that the bank balance is not being padded out at all. Yes I have been busy and yes I have been earning but without going in to it, it always seems that it is a matter of surviving with the added hurdle of not knowing what is coming around the corner.

From March thru till the end of July I had 8 days work. August I worked for the month. September I have two weeks work (Annie Get your Gun). October your guess is as good as mine.....

Actually what really got me down on the weekend was having to go in and do a casting call on Friday for a job I can do easily but must prove to the boffins in the suits at the network(Australian) that I am suitable, when in fact I was offered the same job in London three months ago. I couldnt do it then becasue I had just signed to do a TV Mini Series (5 days work over two month period)the London job was an offer - no audition, just a please we would love you to come and do this show for us - and eight weeks working in London. Oh well, that is how it goes! But it gets my goat that if I am good enough and suitable enough and well known enough to be offered a TV role in London why do I have to attend a casting call here and vie for the job with 12 other hopefulls??? Good people all of them but...

Anyway the answer is I do have to do that here and sometimes it gets me down.

Paul, Jill, the sleepless nights are over for us in most parts of Florida, but just beginning for millions who must face the ravages of Hurricane Ivan as it races toward the continental United States via the Gulf of Mexico.

The threat to our part of Florida has been diminished, and I think that all of our Floridian PCers are in the safe zone!

Yes, we humans have the choice, sometimes, to fight or duck, but in this case of natural world disasters, like hurricanes, flood, and famine, it is entirely our of our hands.

You know that we all wish you strength, good health, and peace as you meet your challenges.

Paul, we're rooting for you as you seek opportunites for further employment. Somewhere the sun is shining, don't give up!

Peace and Love,

Gran Mil

Ah so you got pissy!!! I don't blame you. I'd be pissy after something like that as well. I have days like that. I tell my husband I'm having a pissy day. It basically means I'm pissed off at the world for making everything so damm hard. In that mood I question over and over - why can't things just be easy for once AND I'm pissed at everyone I feel has everything handed to them without working for it. I'm guessing that's how you feel as well. I understand and relate.

Kelly-
Sometimes chugging along is the only way to run the race. I hope this year brings you peace and happiness. Keep looking forward. Hugs

Jill

Paul...Your endurance and tenacity and, of course, your attitude has always served you well. But it is extremely frustrating to constantly have to prove yourself to others when in your heart, you know the truth.

Linda

"I would rather run and fall than take no chance at all."

not me. id rather not take a chance at all. better safe than sorry

Dear Paul,
Ahhh, the ups and down of life!!! Security and financial stability are things no one can ever count on nowadays. Even if you had proven to the world you are the best, there will always be someone better and smarter. Unless, you friend at the top.

Erika, how then do you live fulfilled in safety?
I'd like to find a way to do all of that, And not have to face failure. Hmm, I don't know if it's possible.

Falling is a part of living no matter how sucessful or unsucessful we are in any endevour falling is inevitable. We think to ourselves why did we take that risk, why did we make that decision but the bottom line is...we have to do it, its a part of living.

The important task in times like these is to be good to ourselves and not judge ourselves to harshly. We wouldn't do that with someone we love dearly so why would we do it to ourselves.

I don't think anyone really knows what is to be encountered every corner we turn. The only right thing to do is to keep trying.

It is good to remind yourself of what is good about life and awsome about ourselves.

thats when you take out the beer or wine with a bag of chips.

my two cents...

take care all,

Kelly, I have forgotten to say it is fine that Clay used some of my poems. Of course I would like to know which ones he liked and used and what kind of response they and he recieved.

Erika - another way to put the saying and it might have actually been written this way although I cannot remember is:

I would rather run and fall than never run at all.

Put this way it could be about living life to it's fullest. It is about embracing life, enjoying and rejoicing in it. It is about not living a life in fear but living your life fearlessly.

Better safe than sorry?
If you wrap me in cotton wool how will I feel the breeze on my skin?
If you keep me tucked behind a big brick wall with whom will I throw and catch my ball?
If I lie upon the floor all day, I will not fall but I cannot play.
If I stay inside away from the sun how will I know if the roses have bloomed?
To live a life one must run and fall for to do neither is to have no life at all.

Isn't life about taking risks, who knows those risks might turn out to be something good. To me life is one big gamble and it's me that holds the dice to my future, if I roll them wrong then it's down to me and only me but if I roll them correctly then who knows what will happen. We only get one chance to live our lives so why not make the most of it. I know I'm going to give it my best shot!

I wanted to say hi to everyone and I'm so sorry I haven't been here for a few weeks, I'm having major house problems, it is suffering from subsidence and it could end up with it being literally pulled down so I've had a few things on my mind. I have been reading your posts I just haven't felt like sharing my problems when there are quite a few on here that are worse of than me. I have missed you all

Paul do you regret turning down the London job?

Take care everyone
Love
Kim

Hey everyone guess what I'm watching?! Yup you guessed - Strictly Ballroom. I love the mother in the movie. She cracks me up. I never tire of this movie.

Paul - even if you do regret not taking the London job don't second guess yourself. It really doesn't lead to anything positive.

Jill

Keeping the momentum in your life going forward that is what counts. And I suppose every obstacle and challenge that we are faced with gives us the opportunity to reinforce the choice to do that.

I think it is only in looking back that you can see the limits you can put on yourself through fearing risk. I don't think anything is as diminishing as the fear to reach out to all possibilities and grow.

Kim, sorry to hear about the house problems. Good to have you back.

Love to all,
Mary

Paul,

I am sorry that life has been more of a struggle for you these days. The industry that you have chosen to be in is a very fickle one and it is either feast or famine and it takes every fiber of your being to keep up with the fast pace. I used to do commission sales for years and was single with two children and never knew what the next month would bring me. I always had to put money aside for the rough months as a cushion, but for years it was very challenging and very stressful at the same time. After doing this for over twenty years I got into a technical position that was a set salary and now I know what I will make every month without all the stress and competition. Every new sales job I had, I too had to prove myself all over again. I know exactly how you feel as I knew I had more knowledge and experience than all the young whipper snappers but it gets you down all the same.

Time for you to think hard about priorities in life and which direction you want your life to head in at this point in time. I can't help but think of that young child Ryan White who years ago at a tender age did so much to educate people about aids and lived his young life to the fullest until the very end and he never gave up. He was young in years but old in wisdom.

I hope you awake with a brighter outlook and are drawn to the bright stars in the sky instead of the dark shadows of the night.

Bonnie

Guys you miss understood what I wrote. I did not turn down the London job, I would have loved to do it but unfortunately the offer came in to me about three days after I had signed a contract to do the Tv Mini series. London would have been better money and better exposure but I had already signed on the dotted line so was commited. We did try to make it work but London couldnt fly me in and out aroound my shooting schedule so that was the end of that. I am not annoyed about that - well not much, typically you have no work for a couple of months and then a couple of offers come in all at once and you're only able to do one of them. I'm annoyed at having to jump through the hoops for the Aussie guys when the Londoners didnt need that.

Any way, I am over it now as I have had my splat.

Up Up and Away
to enjoy another
Purle Suit Day

Okay we understand! Hopefully your rested now and ready to run.

To lighten the mood I gotta share what my five year old daughter said while we watched SB last night. During the scene where Scott is dancing alone in the studio (right before he meets and dances with Fran for the first time) my daughter says "What is he doing?" I said dancing. She said, that's not dancing. I said what does it look like. She said it looks likes he's running around. She didn't know how Scott could be dancing if he was getting on top of tables etc. Sorry Paul that your talent was lost on her! The ironic thing, she started dance class yesterday!

Take care all

Jill

Pual,

I printed out several of your poems for Clay to read and reveiw as examples of poems that he could reflect on and use as inspiration in writing his own poems. He did not write about your poems for class as apperently the authors must be published for them to use in class. Go figure. I know two that particularly touched him were "For My Brother" & "Three years away".
He kept trying to figure out "Three years away" and I don't think he ever came to his own conclusion of what it was about, but "for my brother" touched home. Clay's ex-girlfriend comes from a very broken home and she actually stayed with us for quite a while when child protective services took her away from her mother for abuse. (she will always be like a third child to me) Anyway, she cuts herself and threatens suicide all the time. She was not like this the year or so she was with Clay or when she stayed here for those months. (but she had been very bad before she met Clay) She was happy with us. But it got to hard for Clay when she went back to her mother and sister and all the violence started, and while we are still there for the family, Clay had to seperate himself from her last winter. Since, she has been self mutilating and he feared what she would do to herself and if she would kill herself or not. I reassured him she was only vying for attention, (counsolers have said the same, and Katie has admited this to me, that she would not really "do it" but she wants her mom to wake up and care about her for once in her life. Anyway, he read it and I think he read it as if she were saying it to him and I think he found releif in it as to say that if she did it, It would not be his fault and it released him somehow to go ahead and forget about his guilt over her. Katie is still a big part of our lives and her Mom is sincerely trying to be a better parent and calls me for parenting advise. Katie still calls us Mom & Dad and always will. Her mother is in a relationship now that was once bad but seems to be getting more positive so we are backing off and letting her rely more on her mom and "pretend dad", and less and less on us. Her real dad is also out of jail and is trying to have a relationship with her. We have stopped 'rescuing" her every time something she doesn't like , happens and she is learning to cope woth things on her own. Anyway, to far off subject. Clay liked your poems alot although I think he had trouble understanidng some of them.
Diversity is a good thing, I think. I have gotten so much enjoyment from your poems I was very proud to share them with him. They will be studing poems all semester so he may have more opportunities to refuer to them. I am going to go back in the archives and dig some more up for us.

Funny, Clay has read several different authors of poems and all his poems seem to be about sports. Thats all he writes about. I wish he could write about the things that trouble him but he says he talkes about all that stuff with me and doesn't feel he needs to express it through writing, he can just tell me about it.
I am lucky I guess. Damn, I know I am lucky. I have 2 of best kids on the face of the planet and pretty decent husband. What the hell have I been bitching about? Nothing improtant. My job my suck but it's mine and I own it. Wow, I I don't know what floodgates just opened up but I fell pretty damn good right now. Maybe it was talkin abut Katie, maybe talkin about Clay. Maybe seeing my daughter getting ready for school shouting from the bathroom how I am the best mom in the world. Maybe just knowing you guys are all here anytime I wannna shout out.

I don't know what the hell happened the last 10 minutes but forget it, I 'll go with the flow.
(maybe the 2-24 ounce beers I drank at Monday night Football" are stil with me.) Naw, they didn't even faze me. Well whatever the cause, I will enjoy my happiness right now and hope it lasts. Feels good to feel happy again! it's been a while. How could it come over me SO quick? Maybe cause I'm talkin to Paul, hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. whatever, I will take it. Paige is screaming "time to go to the bus stop, MOM, tell your friends at the corner goodbye", and tell em I said HI". So, Paige says HI, and I say goodbye!

Talk to ya soon,

Kelly : )

Kelly I'm so glad you are feeling happy!!!! Grab it with both hands and don't let go! Reading your post made me feel happy and helped me remember to remember what I've been blessed with.

Here's to more joyful days!

Jill

Hey!

I've never posted on here before but I have kept an eye on the site for quite a while (love the recipes!)
I just wanted to say thanks. Seems a strange way to start but I was feeling really low today and thought I'd visit the site. Having read all those words of encouragement you have given one another and reading about other peoples worries and relating to them has made me feel so much better. So thank you.
I hope to start posting on here a bit more.

Paul, Hi, there isn't much more to add to what has already been said but just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Good Luck

PEACE
Sade
xx

Paul,
You really do suffer in a tough profession, don't you. It seems like a very fickle industry.
I guess that's what happens when (the producers')egos and finances are combined. It looks a sorry and messy mix.
I'm sorry for all the shit that you have to endure. There's not much that's fair.
I'm hoping that the purle suit will pull you through.

Mary, Michelle & Millie,
The lizard has been far too flat out and has himself become a little flat. My own purle suit is looking a little washed out lately from a few too many wears. Nonetheless, the wheels keep moving, albiet a little more slowly sometimes! Thank you all for your well wishes.

Here's a little piece of wisdom that I chanced across unexpectedly. It helps me to maintain my sense of value.

"In a hundred years, nobody will remember what kind of house I lived in, the kind of car I drove or the jewels that I wore.
All that will matter is that I was important in the life of a child."

Best wishes to all,

Peter

Hello dear Peter! Sorry you've been so busy. I hope things will slow down and begin flowing a bit easier for you. It may just be a funny coincidence, but there have been fewer rabbits frolicking around here since you've been away. I've missed all of you, furry and non-furry. Loved your quote!

Welcome Sade!

Evelyn, glad to hear things are going well in your new surroundings! Sorry I didn't get my reply to you posted in the last thread. Yes, we're still waiting to see when we'll be moving. Nothing happening as of yet, but eventually they're going to be building a hospital here so I know it's in our future. The wait isn't much fun, but I'm once again learning patience is a virtue. Maybe not one of MY virtues yet, but I'm working on it.

Paul, glad to hear things are better. Here's my little quote for the day:

"If you can risk getting lost somewhere along the day you might stumble upon openings that link you to your depths."

Don't know who said that, but I thought it was cool.

Love to the Corner,
Michelle

Paul,I understand much little in english, you know, but i understand you are unhappy. What can i to talk? I am very unhappy too. Many problems. Believe in tomorrow, in God. I do, you will win! Have belief! This is a song:"i believe, the love is the answer, i believe, the love find way!" You are a beautifull person in your heart too and many people love you. You will find the true way.
Peace e power to you!
Don't worry, be happy!
Caroline

Mary thank you for the welcome back, it feels weird as I feel like the new person again. In just under six months I should know if my house will be OK or if it will need to be pulled down, all of this for some coal! So, if I'm not on here for some time then you know I have disappeared down a huge hole, just as long as it's a soft landing!

Paul I was just wondering, can't you put the word about in the UK that you are available for work or do you have to wait until you are approached?

Night everyone
Kim

Kelly, great to hear you in such good form! I hope you and Clay will always be as close as you are now. What a blessing.

Peter, I love that quote. A couple of years ago, one of the children in my class wrote it out for me as a gift at the end of the year. I still have it. Don't worry about the purle suit. It's bound to have a refresh button hidden somewhere about it. Check the manual. I hope you manage to get some time out for yourself soon. Take care.

Michelle, that is cool. It's so easy to get caught up with what's going on on the surface. The depths connect us to who we really are.

Welcome to Sade and Caroline!

Love to Paul & to everyone here. Wishing you all harmony and peace of mind tonight.

Mary

Beautiful Paul,

It's times like this that even a simple hug from your kids, wife, or someone else dear to your heart really brings out the medicine of joy.....unspoken love. It's powerful and real. After tears of the night comes joy in the morning. A new piece of sketch paper to paint any color you wish...gray isn't that great of a color. It does serve a purpose though. What kind of purpose? I guess that all depends on what you want to do with that color. Behind that dullnes is brilliance of light. Your heart shines so bright for others. As I have written in here before...you are beautiful and your family. I remember you had mentioned to someone in this sight that you are a coffee lover...me too...fuel for the day when I'm exhausted! Ha! Ha! We are here for you. There are alot of people here that do care for you. Peace ....

hugs,
Tara

Clay, three years away is about the agony of being apart from some one you love, about the agony of waiting to hear from them on the phone and about how it feels to finally reconnect with them if only for a moment or a memeory.

Welcome Sadeand thanks for joingingin and welcome Caroline - your English is good!

Hi Paul,

There is nothing wrong with sitting down for a while and taking a rest. Goodness knows we all need it now and then.

I've been "sitting down and taking a rest" since June when I had another brain surgery. I have high pressure of my cerebral spinal fluid and it is causing me to be not even a couch potato but a bed bug! Sometimes I think I am sleeping the world away. The doctors say 3 more months of recovery though, so I will try to be patient.

I think that the biggest word for me, most important, is really a rather short word: HOPE. I find with hope I can get through so much more easily and with less fear. I keep my faith, but it is that HOPE word that really shows if I am up or down.

Dear Paul, may you have hope for tomorrow and beyond.

Suzanne, thank you. Hope I always have, I would like to think that nothing and know one can take it away from me. Only I can give it away or give it up but I never will. And even when I am down and pratting on about the clouds darkening my way I always know that there is hope there lighting my way.

Dear Paul,

Thank you for posting that wonderful thought above. I really needed something like that to start my day.

I'm afraid I was being hard on you for your "littel winge" a few days ago, but as I look back, I see that my own bad feelings spilled out onto you just because you were the first person to get in my line of fire. I'm trying to deal with two suicides in the past two months of people who are very close to me and my family. Our friend and neighbor took an overdose one weekend last month after he sent his wife and twin daughters off to the beach for the weekend. His girls are the same age as my twin grandaughters and they play together and go to school together. His family found him when they came home that Sunday. This past weekend, my daughter and her husband joined a search party to find their sister-in-law's brother who left home after a fight with his wife with a bottle of Percocet. They dragged the lake where they found his car but he was found hanging in the woods....

I can always come here and spill out my feeling without being judged, knowing you are here, Paul, and all the other wonderful people who are part of your little cyber-family.

Thank you all for being here.

Be well.

Bad day yesterday. I learned that the husband of a friend of mine as work died from colon cancer. We were going through treatment together at the same time last year. I talked a lot to his wife during treatment and became closer. She always said that when she thought about how hard it was on them, she thought of me with my little ones and was able to go on. I was so saddened. The worst part was how I found out. My principal emailed everyone. I opened the email during the middle of class. I hit me like a punch to the stomach, so in front of 27 12 yr olds I had to hold back tears. I started shaking and could barely answer their questions. Thankfully they were working on an assignment I had given.

We've been talking a lot about running the race. I'm ready to retire from this race. His death as hit me bad. I'm left wondering why I came out fine and he didn't. I'm left wondering how many more people around me are gonna die from cancer or get reoccurances. I'm left wondering if I'll ever have a life that doesn't revolve around this damm illness. I'm left wondering why him and not me.

The race sucks.

Jill

Jill, I've read alot of what you've said and you always seem full of strength and, as is being discussed here, hope. The race at times does suck, there are always pebbles on the path to make us trip up and stumble. Today you've had a rock put on your path but don't let that stop you.
At times like this you do question the actions of 'God', why him and not me, and you have to believe that there is a reason even if we are not meant to know it. Both my parents are very ill and I know that I ask the same questions when they get worse...it's difficult and all I can do is listen to them and try to give them what advice I have. I also pray for them and let them know they are loved.
Jill, you obviously have a very loving family and here you are loved. My prays go out to you and Sally C today.

Peace and Love

Sade
xxxx

You seem to have come into a world you shouldn't be in...I know I live there, you don't belong there.

When I was two I wanted to ride, I wanted to do it right then and there, my dad put me on a horse and I fell off, and fell off and off, in fact if there was an Olympic gold medal for falling off I'd have won, but I kept on trying, eventually I rode, I kept on riding with no fear or thought for safety, until one day I lost my nerve...I don't ride anymore because I'm too scared to fall. One day I will learn to be that gold medalist again, but until that day I live in fear of falling

When I was four I wanted to dance, my mum enrolled me into ballet and tap (I was kicked out of tap for being too noisy!!!) but I stuck at ballet and eventually I was good enough to dance on stage, my teachers began to push for me to take it further and I know now that I was good enough but then I was too scared to fail so I quit...a world of fear of failing

You are in this horrible place right now Paul, but, you, unlike me, have an inner strength, tomorrow will always be another day for you, a sunnier time, there's always a way and I'm sure you will find that way deep inside yourself and in your family's belief in you, their love and trust will always pull you through. Don't ever be afraid to fall, remember you have someone who is obviously so very special to you who will catch you...

Don't rest too long

Take care

it is probably shallow, but Ur movies are just making me smile, when a minute ago i just felt like dying... thnx paul

Suzanne, Sally and Jill - I've just read through your posts and was moved by each of them.

Suzanne, I think you're right about hope. Courage and faith are very powerful things but hope is the spark that lights the way forward for us and makes us believe that it is possible to go that way. I wish you hope - lots of it - over the coming months along with a steady and complete recovery.

Sally, that is a lot to take on board. I can't even begin to imagine the pain surrounding the stories you shared. I'll keep those affected in my prayers and that includes you. Sending love to you.

Jill, what a shock for you. I think wondering 'why me and not him' is a very natural thing for you to do in a situation like this. Unfortunately it is also a sure way of making you feel nothing makes any sense. I think maybe one way to hang on to the belief that there is sense to everything that happens is to focus on the fact that even though we companion each other along the way, each of our journeys is unique and ours alone. Your friend's husband had his and you have yours. Keep trusting and believing that your journey holds a full recovery for you with much joy, happiness and wonderful experiences in the future. In the spirit of what Suzanne said in her post - I wish you hope.

Millie, Julie, Beth Ellen, Joan and any other PCers in Florida - hoping you are all safe and well. I'm thinking of you all every time I listen to a weather report.

Evelyn, I meant to say Hi in my last post. Hope everything is good with you.

Love to Paul and to all of you out there,
Mary

If
--By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And you'll be the better for it when all is said and done.

--Spivey

Dearest Paul and members of Fan Club

Thank you for all of your concern as my Earthly time is running short. I will not burden you further with details of my illness as it is a downer. What would help is to hear some positive and fun things that are going on in all of your lives if it isn't too much to ask. How about some HAPPY THOUGHTS to send me off into the wild blue yonder? Which one of you can make Granny Karla laugh the most? Just a silly thought that I would die laughing over one of your posts. How is that for a challenge!! Please don't hold back and if I shall die laughing at what you have written I will leave a request that it be carved on my headstone. Paul, Grandma Mil, Spivey, Jill, Abeth, Mary, Bonnie and the whole gang----get ready set and GO!!!!

Pretty Birds, Pretty Birds!!!
Granny Karla

Karla,

How about this, my mother sent it to me.
Love always, even in the afterlife.
Kelly

Why Women are Crabby:

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty,
uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will
invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while theOBsays, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking
little poop machines.
The teen years. Need I say more?

The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HR. and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily
and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great
Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me. Send this to all bright women you know and make their day!!! Or at least make them laugh a little...

Karla, obviously I missed something along the way as to why you think about dying. I fear it’s somewhere in the last post that I’m not caught up on. Can’t really think of anything to make you laugh either, perhaps I’m too tired right now, but when I do think of something, I’ll post it for you. I hope you get much to laugh about and to make you happy.

To Suzanne, Kelly, Jill, Sally you are all in my thoughts as you are going through difficult times. May you find strength, healing, laughter and joy in your difficult circumstances.

Paul, glad you put that package down for a while and rested, vented and all, seeing the sun despite the fog, being hopeful and all. Okay, my prose is terrible, but I too need more sleep and am not getting enough of that, working on it etc. Just to add another thought to some of the things that have been mentioned regarding the race and facing challenges: putting things into perspective by differentiating between the immediate challenges and goals and the ones that are the long-term challenges and goals. Rather than trying to accomplish them all at the same time, to focus instead on the immediate ones and get those tasks done and then work towards the other ones as well. I’ve put way too much pressure on myself and let some of my new job responsibilities stress me out that are the long term goals for which I won’t see much of a result for a while, unless there’s a miracle happening somewhere along the way, but that’s not the point and of course I put the pressure on me that I need to do something NOW so that my new colleagues and boss and dean and university administration don’t regret hiring me. They have given me absolutely no indication that they are, actually the contrary, but in my mind there is a different reality playing itself out and that’s where I’m working on stepping back, taking that rest in the fog or sunshine whichever it is and identify my strengths and insecurities and live my life to the best of my abilities, taking care of me too rather than working myself off my feet, which isn’t doing anyone any good. Okay, on that note, I’m going to get an extra hour of sleep now. Yeah!

Kim, I hope you find out good news about your house and that you get to keep it.

Welcome to all the newbies.

Peter, get some rest!!!! Sometimes, no matter how much work you have, you have to take time out for yourself to recuperate, I left the office twice between 4 and 5 PM this week instead of 7 or 8 PM and so far, I’m not behind on my work, granted there's always more, but it can wait until tomorrow or next week. Not that I want to take your well worn purle suit away from you, but where can I get one. Could use one at times and wish I had one. Well, take care and enjoy life!

Hi Mary and Michelle, how’s it going for you?

Love to everyone!

The Power of Prayer has really worked lately.

Prayers were said for those in the path of Frances and Ivan, and some of us lucky ones were not affected. Now, Ivan is ravishing the Gulf states, but has decreased in intensity, and the people are breathing a bit easier in some areas.

Now the newest hurricane, Jeanne, is stirring things up in the Caribbean, but is slated to head north away from the Continental United States, and is not yet a ferocious hurricane as the others were.

Ellie and I will be attending New Year (Rosh Hashonah) services at our synagogue today and tomorrow, and we will be saying very special prayers for our family and friends, especially those right here on Paul's Corner.

Shalom (peace) and Love,

Gran Mil

This is for Karla!

Hope this at least makes you smile. A few years ago when my daughter was first learning to talk we had veggie lasagnia for dinner. She took a bite, turned to me and said, "This tastes like bitch." Shocked, both my husband and I asked each other what we heard. We asked her what she said. Again she said "This tastes like bitch." I'm shocked, but hearing that come out of this little person was also giving me the giggles. I had to turn away from her. I try to explain that that word doesn't have to do with taste, but she tells me again that it tastes like "bitch". Again I start to giggle and have to turn away. Them I tried to reexplain it and have her tell me again, in different words, what it tastes like. She pronounces "bitch" as slowly and clearly as she can manage. That's when we realize she meant "spinach"! And it did, because it had spinach in it. I still get the giggles over that one.

Hope you giggled a little!

Take care

Jill

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since I've posted for the last time and probably some of you don't remember me, but for those who do remember me : I am doing really great again !!! I haven't felt like this for a very long time !!
Sometimes there are still moments when I am starting to feel scared and there's that strange sleeping disorder, but I can live with that !

I am going to the gym a few times per week now to exercise and I've started to lose some weight !
And my trip to Florida in February is booked. Everything is arranged!!
We arrive at Miami International airport on Friday February 4 and are going to spend the weekend in Fort Lauderdale, on Mondayafternoon (after the Follies) we are going back to Miami to make a cruise to the Bahama's until Friday and after that we are going to travel a week through Florida and fly back to Amsterdam on Fridayevening the 18th.....

I have a lot to look forward to and I never thought that I would start to make plans and look ahead that fast, so I really am making progress !!!

And realising that, makes me even more happy !!!

Much love to all,

Monika

Paul, I get where you're coming from with having to prove yourself when you've already proved yourself over and over again. I'm a fundraiser for an agency that helps kids that have been abused and I have to "audition" for foundation donors over and over again...even when they've given before. Years ago, when I was a young fundraiser, this use to get me down and I thought, as you, WHY do I have to keep on making the case over and over again. If they accepted it once, why can't they accept it again. But, then I realized a coupla things...1) Often I ended up having better things to show them, tell them, share with them, than I did when I first went before them 2) Often they were using me as the measuring stick against they measured other fundraisers to see if others could make more compelling cases than I did. What I gained from this was the understanding that being asked to show what you can do is both an opportunity to surpass expectations and a compliment as to past accomplishments. Jennifer in California

Getting up maybe hard but isn't it worth it just to see what is around the next bend?

Paul, I hope by now the sky has lightened up for you. This is one thing that I love about you, you are so down-to-earth & sincere, you don't hide your feeling even when you are down. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your wits here with us.

Our Tim and his family live in Atlanta, Georgia, which is now in the last horrible throes of Hurricane Ivan.

Prayers, folks!! (We're on our way to prayer services at our synagogue.)

Shalom and Love,

Gran Mil

How did the audition go, Paul? Wishing you the very best!

Grandma Mil here!

I just got an email from Tim Hord in Atlanta, and thank God, he and his family are okay. A couple of trees around his house were knocked down, lights went out, and there's a flood in his basement, but he thought the Floridians up north had it worse.

He wondered why the people on the Gulf did not heed the warnings to leave their homes, which led to fatalities. He said he once lived on the beach, and when people were ordered to leave, he left.

Paul, Tim wants you to know that he can't get on PC much these days, but that he's still behind you 100% on your career, and he's 100% behind himself for a change on his career!

Shalom and Love,

Gran Mil

Thanks for the update Grandma Mil! Glad to hear everyone seems to be doing okay.

Jill

Hello All!

Well I attended the most intersting lecture by an Iredologist (someone who studies the eye as a map of the body to detect imbalance) /Nutritionalist and I have so much to share with everyone.

I guess I'm reverting back to Paul's last subject "Weight loss secrets..." but I have to share this great info on how to balance nutrition. The nutritionist who gave the talk is Dr. Delgado and he has his practice in Miami. He talk was fabulous and if anyone wants any info on his contact information in Maimi send me an e-mail.

Breakfast: Fruit. Especially red grapes, watermelon, strawberries and any other fruits is ok. A tall glass of cold water to flush the system out. NO cereals, NO Orange juice (increases acidity in the body and could cause disease). Eating an orange is actually better for you. Also NO WHEAT toast or anything that has wheat in it. If you need to have cereal eat oat or corn cereal. You can also eat Rye bread.

Lunch: Leafy green salad with watercrests or a carb like organic pasta or white potato with light sour cream. Carbs are important to maintain energy throughout the day.

Dinner: Absolutely NO CARBS after 4pm. Eat either white meat, grains, lentils, chick peas, or black beans any type of beans and rice. Nuts such as almonds is a good snack between lunch and dinner. Two hours after dinner eat plane yogurt three times a week to assist in digestion b/c it has the good bacterias called Acidopholous.

NO black pepper
NO salt (except for Sea salt that hasn't been processed).
Buy only organic pasta
NO Tomato Sauce (Tomatoes are a great antioxidant and the only way to benifit is to eat a tomatoe itself).
NO Dairy, substitute milk with Rice, Soy or Almond Milk. Dairy has a lot of fat.
NO Raw Veggies. All veggies and make sure to include a variety in you meal, should be cooked no longer than 5 minutes.

Make sure to drink 1/2 oz of water per pound that you weight. Example I weigh 120 lbs therefore I must drink 60 oz of water a day.

Lemon added to water assists in cleansing the body.

Also green juices from veggies is a good antioxidant (just put them in a juicer and drink)

Absolutely no sugar if you need to sweeten something use honey which is a great lubricant for digestive tract and gives you energy.

The only question I asked Dr.Delgado was is there a tasty substitute for ice cream and I tried it at the health food store last night. Its called Tuffuti and has absolutely no dairy whatsoever but is soy based. It was light,delicous and it comes in chocolate, vanilla, strawberry and all sorts of traditional flavors.

Anyway, hope all in Florida and other parts of the country is safe from the hurricans. What can we do , just go on and not worry until we have to.

A big hello Grandma Millie and everyone at the corner.

Lets try to keep the positive energy flowing!

take care all,

my my my..pretty damn good paul...you won me over..however that would only apply to life in general...not men, love or relationships. :D
in that case still...better safe than sorry :D

Kelly

Gracious!! That was wonderful. A group of friends was visiting from Pebble Beach Country Club last night and I had to share what you wrote. Everyone thought it was histerical.

Jill---You really made me laugh!! Laughter is such a wonderful thing as you are obviously a wonderful person.

Grandma Mil----So relieved that you were spared serious damage.

Paul--I am not sure what I can say in regards to your topic that so many have addressed so eloquently.

Love
Granny Karla

I've just read an article that Johnny Ramone, the guitarist from The Ramones died Wednesday from prostate cancer. Now Tommy Ramone is the only surviving band member. Joey died in 2001 of lymphatic cancer and Dee Dee died in 2002 from a drug overdose.

Sad.

Dear Paul,

Cat posted that article about your recent achievements, and I was almost spastic with joy!

You seem to have many opportunities ahead of you, whether in choreography and acting, or in the brewing and food industry, so wunderbar, may I dare say things are looking up?

Shalom (peace) and Love,

Your everlovin' Gran Mil

I'm listening to Caedmon's Call, dancing around my house and smiling. I'm happy. Wow does it feel good!

Jill

That's what i call living! Can i join you?
maybe in a little while after homework...=D

Hi everyone. This is for Karla. I don't know the original source, but it gave me a cluckle:

QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV!

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face?! The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace, needing only love.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

JOHNNY COCHRAN

It was because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?

Yes, just one, Laura,

Ask all the chickens in my pen,
They'll tell you I'm the biggest....Mother Hen.

Gran Mil

Paul

I just watched KICK. I must say with the hair up off your forhead and a full beard, you look increadable stricking. VERY ATTRACTIVE. Any chance the gentleman that played Russell's father was related to you? I saw your smile and your eyes in him. Any relation? I swear he could be you dad. I enjoyed the flick.

Kelly

Hi to everyone in the Corner! I've had a busy week and am about to start another one. Not quite flat out like Peter but getting there. Relieved to hear that Tim is alright and delighted to read the article on Paul's involvement in Some Rooms. I watched Life's Burning Desire again recently and as always thought the excerpt of it was amazing. It's hard to imagine anyone else dancing it.

Hi to Evelyn. Things are good here. Sounds like you're embracing the whole experience of your new job. Keep going!

Peter, I heard Linger today and thought of you. Hope there are some musical moments for you in among the busyness.

I want to wish everyone here well tonight and send healing and positive thoughts to anyone who needs them.

Love to Paul and to you all,
Mary

Thank you Mary. I am happy because I fell in this site exist many especial people, but I have not time and my English is poor to talk with everyone. Paul, I hope during this days you had more peace.
About your last article: I believe you endeavor. I understand your fair, hesitations and choices. Really, I am in a hurry to see you happy. I think the direction of your life don't is the more important, but the peace to live in your heart. If you choice to go or back I hope you are well. But I need to request: don't desist! Don't desist your objectives because if you to carry out your dreams in a little time is better than never.
I wish a beatifull week to all in here and to Paul. We love you.
I hope all come in to Brasil in summer. Beautifull beachs how Garopaba, my city.It's very good!
Caroline

Hello gang. Been busy lately so I'm just doing a fly by. I've had a very busy weekend and it was tons of fun! I really needed it. My class reunion was on Saturday and there was a pre-party on Friday. I wasn't sure I wanted to go but I'm glad I did. I hope everyone is well.
peace, inn

Hello Everyone,

Gran Mil glad to hear that you and Tim are well.

Glad to hear that everyone else here is doing well also.

As for the beginning of this post I also have a personal motto that can possibly be of some use.

"There comes a time in everyone's life where you sink or you swim. The catch to that is you have to decide if you are going to sink and let all of the negative things overcome you or are you going to swim and take control of them and win.

I found out 5 years ago that I was a swimmer. I became homeless with my 4 babies and did not know what to do. Within 2 weeks I had moved us to another state, got a job, and put us back on our feet.

Several times in the last 5 years the waves that I have been swimming through like the tide have come in and left again.

I recently find that the tide is in and is beating the heck out of me. I tried to accomplish something by midnight tonight but I failed. Which I have to say is hard for me to accept. Because now I again have lost our house and I have to try to start all over again.

The sunlight in my blazing of waves is that I have until Oct. 5 to find a new place that my children and I can call home. Between the braking of my ankle in Oct. and the galbladder surgery in aug. I was unable to catch up on all of the bills. But I do have faith because I know I am a swimmer. Not only for myself but for my children. They learn how to be from us and I dont want mine to see me as someone who lets the waves take me over but the one who takes over the waves.

Sorry to have rambled but it just happened and I needed to talk to someone. Thank you for being my sounding board.

Good luck Paul in all of your future plans and wishing the best to all...

Melinda

Melinda,
How old are your kids? I hope all turns around for you. I wish you the best. Thinking of you today. You certainly sound like a fighter. I know you will prevail once again! Love to you and your family.

Karla, How is it going? Are you plum worn out from laughing? If you need more laughes today, watch "who's line is it anyway", thats a Drew Carey show about 4 people who do spontanious improv comedy. Nothing is planned, it is all completely made up as they go along. The audience decides what they do their improv about so there is no way it can be planned ahead of time. It is too funny for words. It stars Wayne Brady, Colin Maccary, Ryan Stiles and then the fourth person varies from show to show. Catch it if you can.

Love to all on the corner,

Kelly

Melinda, you have our love and support as Kelly has stated.

Chin up, you will prevail, as you have in the past with all the challenges you have met and overcome. You have your own built in cheering section...those beautiful children...and us!

Shalom and Love,

Gran Mil

Dear Melinda,

thinking of you and may your future waters be calmer for you and your kids to swim through, so that you can put down roots and get a bit more stability in your lives.
Wow, hats off to you! Keep swimming but sometimes, go with the tide and don't fight it, okay?

Sending you much love and calm!

hello everyone! Love to you all as well.

Laura, You have me cracking up! I'm not sure which one I liked best but Ronald Reagan and "what chicken" and Colonel Sanders and "what, I missed one", sure top the list!

Hello to all. It's Monday....and I need an infusion of caffeine!

Best, Jennifer in CA

Hi Paul,

I was staying abroad and as much as i almost never watch tv there, one of your earlier movies was on when i turned the telly on so it reminded me i haven't landed on this page for a while :-)
So i decided to stop by and see how you're doing (I used to read all your entries long time ago).
I hope you're in much positive spirit now, than you were on the day you wrote the first message in this long thread.
When things don't work out like i plan, i always try to convince myself all these cliches, such as "When a door shuts another one opens" are true.
I'm sure you can get the best out of every situation, even if it's not something you originally wished for yourself.
Now i have to go and catch up, because i have no idea what London series you were talking about!

Take care,

Olli.

Hi All, Just FYI, I ordered "Joseph" from amazon. Such a deal. It was about ten bucks for a double video! Just wish they had it on DVD. Jennifer

Hi Melinda. Your children are lucky to have you as their role model. I wish you a positive turn in the path ahead of you so that the pressure will ease. Best wishes to you and good luck.

Peter, I've heard Linger twice more in the last two days! Once queuing up in a shop yesterday and again in the car coming to work this morning. I'm beginning to wonder has the purle suit been advised to take a much-needed break up here. Hope you are well.

Hi Michelle! Special hello to my friend in Chicago.

Hi to Inn & Evelyn. Astrid, Kat, Kim, Sally, Marge, Nertha, Abeth & La Goddess - haven't heard from you in a while. Hope all is well.

Paul, wishing you the best as always.

Sending love out to everyone here tonight,
Mary

Mary,
I don't know where to start.
There is so much going on at present, but fortunately things are really starting to move.
I can feel even bigger changes in the air.
It's odd. I too heard that fave song whilst I was driving recently, and immediately thought of the lovely relaxing holiday that you enjoyed recently.

One of my "new" brothers offered to get me a week's accomodation in a beachside unit located in a group of six that he recently built (very expensive). He's currently living with his family in one of the units (he kept one, sold the rest), and the other brother is leasing the unit next door while he's also doing a nearby beachside development, even though he's often only there one or two days a week!
I was told that the owner of the unit owes him a favour and that we can stay at the unit for free.
I strongly suspect that he would be secretly paying for it, as a kind gesture.
We declined, partly because we're too busy, but also because I don't want any handouts. Their family, including my BM are absolutely loaded.
It's not pride. It still feels like blood money to me.
Pity. I've come so far, but some things are still hard to shake off.

I hope that all is well with you.

Cheers to all at PC.

Peter

Hey all. Sorry I've been absent. Lots on my mind and on my plate. School is in full swing, so papers are needing to be graded. I'd love teaching more if I never had to grade papers!

Melinda: My heart goes out to you. You seem like a very strong and loving woman who has been delt a rough hand. We're here for you. Keep fighting.

Peter: I don't know all of your story, but know I'm thinking of you. It's hard when you know things have changed, but you still have to struggle.

To all others - hope all is well. I think of you all and pray your lives are going okay.

I have a drs's appt. today to have some moles looked at. After all the cancer stuff last year anything even remotely related to it scares me. The onc. really believes it is nothing, but better safe than sorry. I don't believ e dr.'s tho when they say it's nothing. That's what they said about the lump in my breast as well.

I'm also stressing because one week from today I learn the results of my genetic testing for breast cancer. If I have the gene, I'm in for a lot. If I don't have it I'm not sure how I'm gonna handle it. Sounds strange, but I hope I do have it. At least I'd have some answers and more avenues for fighting against a reoccurance. If I don't have the mutation, I'm on my own! Anyway, my shoulders are getting more and more tight as the date approaches.

Take care all.

Jill

Hey all

Today is my 15 year wedding anniverary. November will be 19 years together. I can't believe we made it this long. We haven't been getting along very well lately so I doubt we will go anywere other than Clay's game tonight, but I thought I would give a giant shout out for 15 years!

Love to all

Kelly

Kelly...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. 15 years, definitely something to shout about. Jennifer

Kelly...Congratulations! I agree 15 years is AWESOME! Thanks you also for your kind words. My children are Kristopher 10, Anthony 9, Chance 7, Patricia 5, and Ty 2. They are all really goofy so I cant stay sad or even mad when they are awake. They love to dance and sing so when i am packing they are dancing so it makes it go by a little easier.

Gran Mil...Thank you as well for your kind words. I will keep you posted and I also have more pics of the kids for you :)

Mary...Thank you as well and hope all is good for you.

Jill...Thanks and I wanted to say good luck no matter which way your test turns out. And if you ever need someone to "swim" by your side I will be more than happy to jump in. My family sends our love and our hopes that all goes well.

To everyone else I hope everyone is having a wonderful day and glad to be able to visit here.

Melinda

Jill, we're thinking of you! Can you feel the vibes?

I know what it is to wait for the reports on moles. I go through that all the time, for I was fortunate to have some suspicious ones removed on time, and now I still I have to go for follow-up exams every 4 months. Best wishes and love to you!

Kelly, congratulations on your 15th anniversary!
That is a milestone, (like all anniversaries).

Melinda, I will look forward to seeing those pictures of your children. Your description of them as they tried to comfort you before your surgery was so compelling, it really touched me.

Shalom and love,

Gran Mil

Kelly - many congratulations to you both! I wish you good times ahead.

Jill, I'll be thinking of you and hoping and praying that the results are all good.

Peter, when the time is right, a gesture like the one your brother made may well feel different to you but even if it doesn't, that won't alter the fact that you have come a long way. How you feel at the centre of your journey through all this - your healing - is ultimately what is important and that is of your own making and in your own hands. I hope that those changes, when they come, will lift you up and move you forward even more.

Love to all,
Mary

Dear Paul, Grandma Mil and everyone nice,
Have to sign out for now, because my beachfront townhouse, 40 miles east of Pensacola have considerable damage as a result of Hurricane Ivan. Had to postpone my trip this weekend because Hurricane Jeanne will hit Florida around 8 am Sun. Anyway, I will tune in once in a while.

Yep, we're waiting for Hurricane Jeanne now, folks!

(Jean, sorry your property was damaged.)

It's on a course this a.m. (Friday) towards the Bahamas, and then headed for us on the southeast coast of Florida. We'll get something this time here in our area, for sure, by Sunday.

In the meantime, our rehearsal ballroom was being boarded up this morning, but I spoke to the powers that be and they will leave a door unboarded so my "Follies" rehearsals will go on this afternoon...there's no biz like show biz, even in a hurricane!

Stay safe, all my Florida chickies!

Shalom, and Love,

Gran Mil

So sorry you Floridians are being hit again! Stay safe all!!

My appt. with the dermatologies went great!!! Absolutely nothing to worry about. Made my week. Now onto my BRCA results next week.

Jill

Grandma Mil, Jean, and other Floridians....Unbelieveable that yet another hurricane is heading your way. Hang tough. Jill, good luck with your other test results. Good weekend to all! Jennifer

It's been a good day so far today.

Today Millie visited my classroom (in spirit) when I showed the girls in my class a documentary that she made on the Statue of Liberty. She made it when she was still teaching in 1986, the centenary year of Miss Liberty. As you would expect, it was fantastic. It featured children from the school Millie was teaching in at the time (which the girls loved) and also photos of many people who had come through Ellis Island, Millie's parents included! They were certainly a handsome couple. We had a great discussion about it afterwards and I was amazed at how much they took in. I also talked about Millie and told a little of her story, including the fact that she is currently producing and directing shows. What a role model for them. Thanks Millie.

Today is also a day for celebrating the persistence and courage of the human spirit. Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys released his Smile album over here today. He abandoned the project thirty-seven years ago in the midst of difficulties and a great deal of pain. Since then it has always been the 'What if' of his career/life. After all this time he has succeeded in bringing this incredible music to its completion and the result is mind-blowing. How do I know this? Because I am living with his number one fan. My son Paul has been making me smile all day with the look of pure joy on his face! It just goes to show - never give up. Anything is possible if you can keep believing in yourself.

Jill, great news! Best of luck with the next step.

To all PCers in Florida - I can't believe you are all in for another blast. Stay safe, all of you. Sorry to hear about the damage done to your home Jean.

Here comes the weekend! Hope it's a great one for all of you.

Love to all,
Mary

Dear members of the Paul Mercurio Fan Club

I am Granny Karla's grandaughter and I must bring you the sad news of my grandmothers passing. This of course is not her real name and I am unable to give it to you do to our families prominance. My grandmother was 89 years old young and lived a wonderful and eventful life full of travel with fabulous friends and a loving family. She was a great benefactor of the arts and donated abundantly to many worthy organizations. Thank all of you for your kind remarks as she enjoyed you all immensely. May I add that Granny Karla died peacefully with her family by her bedside.

Warmest Regards
Granny Karla's grandaughter

Granny Karla was a short but bright light that graced our presence if only for a while. I felt truely blessed to have known her for the short time that I did and value the the words we shared. May her family be blessed and find the courage to shine light in this sad time. My thoughts and prayers are with Karla, and her family.

Kelly

Warmest wishes from my family to yours. Granny Karla will be truly missed but in our hearts and thoughts forever.

Melinda & Family

Gran Mil here, to report that our area of Broward County, Florida, escaped the worst of Hurricane Jeanne, thank God. That includes the area of Julie, Beth Ellen, and Jean also.

As I type, there is rain and some wind outside my window, but no worse than any "normal" rainstorm in Florida

Our village never lost its electricity, and we were able to go to synagogue to pray on the last day of the Holy Days. Maybe that helped!

The storm is now heading north, near Orlando, after doing terrible damage to the Melbourne area, and I pray that Joan Derosa is okay.

If I've missed mentioning any of our other PC buddies, I apologize, (a MM) and our prayers are with you and with everyone in the path of the storm!

The hurricane may head west and then north towards the Gulf, which would affect Hanh's area.

The hurricane season is only half over, and in history, the worst ever. Young people are thinking of moving out of Florida altogether, but old folks like us can't, so just have to keep dancin' and singin' (and prayin'.)

Shalom and love,

Gran Mil

Gran Mil here, to report that our area of Broward County, Florida, escaped the worst of Hurricane Jeanne, thank God. That includes the area of Julie, Beth Ellen, and Jean also.

As I type, there is rain and some wind outside my window, but no worse than any "normal" rainstorm in Florida.

Our village never lost its electricity, and we were able to go to synagogue to pray on the last day of the Holy Days. Maybe that helped!

The storm is now heading north, near Orlando, after doing terrible damage to the Melbourne area, and I pray that Joan Derosa is okay.

If I've missed mentioning any of our other PC buddies, I apologize, (a MM) and our prayers are with you and with everyone in the path of the storm!

The hurricane may head west and then north towards the Gulf, which would affect Hanh's area.

The hurricane season is only half over, and in history, the worst ever. Young people are thinking of moving out of Florida altogether, but old folks like us can't, so just have to keep dancin' and singin' (and prayin'.)

Shalom and love,

Gran Mil

Grannie Karla, see you some time, hopefully not too soon. The journey has only just began!

To her family I wish you my best,my condolences, but Karla seemed to be full of life even though she knew she was facing death.I hope I have as much courage.

RIP Karla, see ya on the otherside.

Much love

Hello All,

I am sad to hear about Granma Karla's passing. My best wishes to the family. She was a neat lady and a real hoot. I'm sure I can say for everyone we enjoyed her company.

Grandma Millie, we are all fine in Fort Lauderdale. I'll give you a ring soon :)

Take care to everyone,

Julie

To the family of Granny Karla:

Granny was a great lady and touched all of us in her own special way. She never complained and always cheered us up. A bright shining star in the darkest of clouds.

We share in your great loss, and I hope this prayer will bring you some comfort.

Love, Bonnie

"Great Spirit Prayer"
....Ancient Prayer....

"Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind,
Whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear me; I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever
behold the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made
and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand
the things you have taught my people.
Help me to remain calm and strong in the
face of all that comes towards me.

Let me learn the lessons you have hidden
in every leaf and rock.
Help me seek pure thoughts and act with the
intention of helping others.
Help me find compassion without empathy
overwhelming me.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy - Myself.
Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands
and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my spirit may come to you without shame.

"May you always walk in Beauty."

What life Grannie Karla brought to this place, in her own way...I hope to meet her some day. I pray for peace in her family of those left behind.

Godspeed Karla.

I am very saddened to hear of Grandma Karla's passing. I only talked with her a few times, but she was a kind spirit and I shall miss her. She will be in my heart tonight as I light a candle to carry on the light she gave to those around her.

Jill

Karla may your guiding spirit walk with you on your journey.
Peace,

Hi Everyone,

Survived another hurricane. This one was my best. Didn't lose power or phone. The wind was pretty heavy duty though.

Grandma Mill, so glad everything is ok with you. Hope you are in a solid structure.

I feel Mother Nature is give us her calling card. I came to Florida in 1952 and I have never seen such climate changes all the way around. You know what they say you can't mess with Mother Nature.

Much of my family is in Melbourne and they were hit hard. I feel very badly for them. They have a lot of support there so they will eventually be alright. Prayers are always helpful. Thanks.

Some people young and old are making murmers of moving. Can't say I blame them. For the first time in my life, I'm thinking in possibilities.

Blessings to all,

Joan DeRosa

Dear Joan,

I'm so relieved to learn you and yours are okay.

We have been so lucky here is southeastern Florida. The hurricanes, Charley, Frances, Ivan, and Jeanne made landfall either west of us or north of us. With the hurricane season still with us until the end of November, I wonder if we will remain so lucky.

We live in a 4 story condo, and on the first floor, thank goodness. I was always leery of elevators, and only wanted a ground floor, and when the electricity went out with Frances for awhile, people were without elevators for a week.
They had to depend on the kindness of neighbors and friends for food, etc.

Shalom and Love,

Gran Mil

Hi all.

So sorry to hear about Karla. Rest in peace. To her family, it know it is a great loss, but she added so much unforgetable sunshine to others that trust me she will never be forgotten.

So glad you guys in Florida did OK. I feel so sorry for Florida in general though. All the damage and distress. Hurricanes can be so unforgiving. They destroyed part of the beaches on St. Simons Island where I grew up.

School is going by quickly. I just had mid terms in Law and Finance. I think I got an A on Finance. Law? Oh my god. That test was ...

Paul..sorry to hear you're at a down point. You always make it back up. You've made it up more times since I've been here than the time it has taken me to finally get my act together. You're an inspirational person. Not just an actor.
By coming here for quite sometime now, I was able to vent and grieve and just talk. My life seems to have a real purpose for a change. My wife and I have found love again. Respect. I am accepting my limitations and thusly am moving on and up much faster. I want to do so much. But I'm going to have to do only those things that I can. I wanted to dance and become this great hairdresser and screenwriter...All wonderful and ambitious things. But that just isn't my life. I am going to be fond of what I do and enjoy what others do. I'm going to do my best in my old profession and knock their socks off with my intelligence. I'll play my piano again, because I can and took lessons for years and enjoyed singing and playing. And hopefully at this later point give my kids a nice me. Thanks to the psychiatrist, my wife, my children and Pauls corner.

Paul, you'll get through it mate. I know you will.

Great to "hear" from everyone.

peace and love

Tim

Hi Grandma Mil,

Thank you for your concern and prayers. I do hope your condo is good and sturdy. Being on the ground floor is probably a good idea. Will keep praying that your luck remains.

Take care.

Love and Light,

Joan DeRosa

Hi guys,

Have missed you all during the time I've been away from the Corner. Sounds like Paul and I have been more or less in the same mood because I have been depressed with all the bad news on the suffering taking place in our hemisphere and around the world.

I have been especially distressed by the events related to the hurricane damage in my native island, worrying about relatives and friends there and in Florida. Thank God my Florida connection is intact, in spite of the tremendous ordeal Floridians have been enduring in the last couple of months! There are some relatives in Hispaniola that we have not been in contact in a while and so have no way of knowing if they are all OK, so we keep praying for them and hope for the best outcome. Thank God Grandma Mil and all our PCers from Florida were spared the worst of Jeanne! We will be getting some rain from the now-tropical storm tomorrow.

So sorry to read of Grannie Karla's passing. She was a corageous lady whose light shone brightly among us and whose warmth I had hoped we would enjoy a bit longer. My sympathies to her family. May you find comfort in your memories of the time she graced your lives.

A big hello to everyone and hope to be in touch regularly from now on.

Hugs,
Nertha

Erika Crystal said:
not me. id rather not take a chance at all. better safe than sorry >>
==============================
Erika,

Your comment is exactly what I said when I was younger. I lived my life cautiously and I have a list a mile long of "what ifs" ... now that I am older I find myself wondering if I only had taken the chance and tried, maybe I would have succeeded.

If you don't take a chance, you will never find out if you could have done it. That, my friend, is what SB is about ... "Vivir con miedo es como vivir a medias." How true!

I have tried to encourage my sons to follow their dreams, find out what their passion in life is, and pursue it, no matter what the no-sayers may say. I hope and pray they live their lives fearlessly, because I know that they will have far fewer regrets and a whole lot more satisfaction. ;-) I just wish I had followed my own advice!!!

Nertha

Hi to All!

When I read that Granny Karla had passed on, it felt like my own Grandmother had gone. She was such a special lady and even in her last time with us, she gave life, laughter, and love. My thoughts are with you, Granny Karla. You are missed.

Grandma Mil, glad that you are ok. I hopefully will be able to get together with you not this weekend, but next. I will call later.

I know alot of people vent on PC. I am now in a very down mood. I hope to get some advice on a problem. Life does not seem so wonderful. I am in a relationship with a man that I love but am not sure that I am in love. I would quit the relationship but there is one small catch. He has a daughter that is 11. I have been with them for about 6 years (engagement ring but no wedding date, not sure if I want a wedding!). Her mother is not the best, not that she doesn't love her daughter, but she sees the world through rose glasses. Her father has an anger management problem that I cannot talk to him about (he doesn't see it). I am the stable person in this little girl's life. It is me she tells her secrets to and comes to for advice. I am afraid that if I cannot be a part of her life, that I will be giving up a chance for her to become a good person. Any advice?

Sorry about the vent.

Love to all, hugs to everyone.

Beth Ellen

Nertha, I hope you will hear from your relatives in Hispanola in the near future. I hadn't heard terribly dire news from there, certainly not like Haiti. Prayers are in order, for sure, and I've been doing that a lot!

No one knows where our favorite dreams will take us in life. My husband and I have also lived cautiously, and today, have some regrets, like most people.

However, at this stage of our lives, we are probably busier doing things we love than at any time when we were younger! We just pray for good health for our family, our friends (on PC too) and ourselves!

Beth Ellen, don't worry about that special little girl. (I've spoken to her, and she sounds so sweet.) She is almost an adolescent, and those years can be "challenging" to say the least.

You and she will probably always remain friends, so I would say, with love and concern, that you move on!

I'll be looking forward to hearing from you and Julie soon.

Shalom and Love,

Gran Mil

Hello All!

Well, one more day to go and I'll be done with classes. Then the final exam Oct 14 and I'll be finished with school and then hopefully I'll be licensed by the first week of December.

I was getting a little nervous about it last week. A new chapter has started in my life, turning 30 and then going back to school to learn a new trade. Hopefully it will all work out in the end with a good job.

It's as though my life has had a make-over. My body is changing since my husband and I joined the gym in January I have tonicity in my arms and legs now rather than looking like a telephone pole. My husband lost 20 lbs and is thinking of joining a triathalon club once again. So in turn I'm glowing with confidence lately to the point that other people are starting to notice. Especially men at the supermarket. There was a guy the other night who asked me what isle the breadcrumbs were.

Ok I know what you're thinking maybe he really needed to know where the breadcrumbs were. Will you let me dream a bit here. Men haven't hit on me for 10 years so cut me some slack!

Whooh, sorry gang...

So what have I learned this past year with all these changes. I've been thinking of what Beth Allen talked about and you know what Beth, we have to be happy in our own life first and then we'll be able to take care of others.

I read somewhere that in our society we're not taught to seek our happiness but to fulfill the happiness and expectations of others. We have the right to be happy, we need to look at this as a necessity for our emotional and spiritual well being rather than as something bad what do they call it oh "SELFISH". Well I'll tell you right now its a farce! We have to let the child inside ourselves play and have the right to be in a nurturing, emotionally healthy environment. So Beth you already know the answer to your happiness. The responcibility to yourself comes first.Your child inside needs to be in the environment and be with others who will nurture it and bring it joy. You deserve it! And others will benifit more when you're feeling nurtured than tortured.

take care all

Hi All, Just checking in to say hi, to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending good vibes to everyone's way, especially with all the challenges out there...passing of friends, hurricanes, health, etc. I'm working like a dog and have a big fundraising event coming up this Saturday for my agency. Take care all. Jennifer

Michelle, sending birthday wishes to you today. Happy birthday my friend! Hope you are having a wonderful day so far.

Paul, thanks for being the link that connected me to this and other treasured friendships here.

Julie, best wishes for the next stage of your journey.

Hi Peter.

Love to all,
Mary

Thank you, Mary! It has been a wonderful day, and it's not so bad being 44. I've decided I kind of like it.

Best wishes to all of you here, and peace to all of us.

Love and Light,
Michelle

Michelle,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Michelle,
Happy Birthday to you.

Do you like my singing? I've been practising and I bet it shows!

44 huh?
Let's see,....you're 44, I'm 45,...and I'm prety sure that Mary said she is 46.
There's a pattern there somewhere.
Have a great day today.

Mary, Hi to you. I'm still super busy, but things are looking promising.
I hope that you are well.

Cheers to all.

Peter

Hi guys,

Hope everyone is doing well.

Warm birthday wishes to Michelle, hope your day was perfect! You are so young, only 44! I turned 54 on the 28th and I don't feel any older than on the 27th. LOL The best is yet to come and girl won't it be fine!!! :-)

Grandma Mil wrote:
"Nertha, I hope you will hear from your relatives in Hispanola in the near future. I hadn't heard terribly dire news from there, certainly not like Haiti. Prayers are in order, for sure, and I've been doing that a lot!"
============
I agree, Grandma Mil, our prayers are in order. In my 54 years of life I can't recall a time when so many people in so many countries are going through severe trials at the same time! I was born after WWII, so my point of reference, of course, would not include that world catastrophe.

At the same time that Jeanne was doing its number on the island, our family here in the States was mourning the passing of one of my uncles, so it was double distress. Neither my aunt in Florida (whose brother it was who died), nor us, could make it to the funeral home in Southern New Jersey due to the floods along the Eastern seaboard caused by Ivan.

Here I am at 3:30AM baking an apple pie so Jonathan can take it to school for their bake sale later today. The house is so fragrant with the aroma from the apples, cinnamon and nutmeg! :-) I like to add raisins to my apple pies. My favorite pies are blueberry and apple-pear pie. Yummm! Oh, sorry, I just remembered that those are carbs. My apologies, I didn't mean to tempt all of you on the low carb diets. ;-) Is there a low carb version of pies?

Well, I better go and take the pie out of the oven.

Hugs,
Nertha

Michelle, happy birthday! Only 44? A mere child!
(Our twin daughers are 45.)

We'll continue the celebration at FIF!

Peter, good to have you back, we've missed you!

Nertha, baking at 3:30 a.m. the other day? I am up at that hour, and I think the aroma of those pies came through my computer! Carbos, eek! The low carb equivalent of your pies is a celery stick.

Paul, Paul, wherefore art thou? It's been too long since we've heard from you.

"You are always in our hearts, even though you're far away." (song lyrics, what else?)

Shalom and Love,

Gran Mil

Hey all,

Well Paige had her first basketball game last night. SHE DID GREAT!! She made 2 points !!! It was a nice rebound and she put it back up and made it! She had about 10 rebounds last night and the team player she is would pass it off to someone else to shoot so she she had several assists, as well. She was very agressive and played to win. They won 36-10. I think she has found her sport.

Clay had a great game, too. He had a quarterback sack, caused and recovered a fumble off the other team and had several solo tackles. I missed it as Paiges game started 30 minutes late and by the time I got to Clays, it was over.
Oh well. You can only do so much. Both the freshman and varsity teams are undefeated. Clays team won 42-0. or 42-6 I can't remember.

My hubby and I have been attending the Booster meetings for football. ("booster" is a group of parents that meet to raise money for the varsity football team and provide entertainment and food and parties for the boys and the coaches) Tom and I have been in charge of the t-shirt, sweatshirt sales and we even designed hats and have been selling those at the varisty games. We have tus far made $1,500.0 for the booster club. Usually it is just the parent of the kids playing Varsity ball. My son is a freshamn this year and wont play varsity till his Junior year.
although they have talked about moving him up next year, but we will see. Anyway, they held elections for next years booster club and the president nominated me for Vice President!!!!
I could not belive it and when he asked for a secind, everyone reaised their hands! I don't know if I like or not! I am used to b eing involved inall my kids do, but Vice President! That's a huge responsibility. I am glad they trust me so soon, but yikes!. Tonight is homecoming, and it should be exciting. We should sell a ton of stuff. I think we will have at leat a couple thousand in the fund going into next year season.

I have decided to cancel all my future doctor appointments and wing it. I have paid $2000.00 on copays and medications as it is. I found out I don't need surgery on my shoulder after all, just physical therapy. which I am not going to go to. I have to pay $14.00 a session and I am not going to do that several times a week. Been there did that. I talked to one of the dads on Clays football team who is a therapist and he told me what to do to strengthen my rotacuff. I just saved a ton of money! I dont usually ask for free advise but we are close enough I felt I could. I feel wonderful knowing no more doctors for a while, forever! That has been such a burden.

I have changed my thinking and my "care" level at work and I fell much less stress. I don't cae if I don't get everything done, or if I need help with something and I really don't care if I need to just "veg" for a few minutes. If I don't get a raise in May, I don't get one. I could care less. I always felt the need to be perfect, now I just don't care. Well ok I do, but I am trying my hardest not to let it bother me.

Well, off to help Paige get ready for school. I have to get her in the shower. She was so proud of herself last night she slept in her uniform!

Love to all
Kelly

Happy birthday Michelle

Nertha, If your guy is decent at all, he will let you see his daoughter even after the relationship is over. I am sure he will want what is best for his daughter and will want to spare her the pain of losing you.

Kelly

Happy Birthday MIchelle!

Just be careful with Peter. He may get carried away and start disco dancing in his black speedo.

Mary thanks for the well wishes.

All is sunny in Fort Lauderdale. My last day of class was yesterday and today I decided to take a much needed break before studying for my final.Washed the car, doing laundry, and...what happened to the rest part. I know, I'll go buy a coconut air freshner for my car. There!

I also got massage table last week. My Aunt came for a massage on sunday (she has circulation problems in her legs) and the table tested great.

take care all

My goodness, Peter dancing disco in his black Speedos, hidden demurely under the Purle Suit, no doubt. Wait, do I hear "Stayin' alive, stayin' alive" playing softly in the distance? Come, Peter, shall we "shake our groove thang" to the music?

Michelle and Nertha, Happy Birthday, belatedly, from me, I'm afraid. Hope you both had happy days.

And Kelly, can't forget belated Happy Anniversary to you, too.

Big wave across the pond to Kim and Mary. Hope all is well with you.

Good wishes and kind thoughts to all who pass this way....

Be well.

After being away from this site for some time, it is with great sadness that, upon returning, I learn of dear Karla's passing.
My heartfelt condolences go out to her family and friends who have suffered such a great loss. I feel the loss as well.

How tragic it is that our paths crossed so late in her earthly journey.
Too late to enjoy reading the collection of stories from her mother she that she was putting together.
Too late to enjoy more of her own prose, wit and wisdom.

But, how truly fortunate that we had even so short a period of time together. How blessed was this brief encounter.

Our acquaintance may have been short but it was deeply enriching, none-the-less.
For, in that short span of time I felt the power of her great Soul. I am humbled by the encounter with one of such courage and positivity in the face of great hardship and setback and shall always hold her memory as an example of a life well lived.

====

In Memorium

For Karla.

THE star which comes at close of day to shine
More heavenly bright than when it leads the morn,
Is friendship's emblem, whether the forlorn
She visiteth, or, shedding light benign
Through shades that solemnize Life's calm decline,
Doth make the happy happier. This have we
Learnt, Karla, from thy society,
Which now we too unwillingly resign
Though for brief absence. But farewell!
The page Glimmers before my sight through thankful tears,
Such as start forth, not seldom, to approve
Our truth, when we, old yet unchilled by age,
Call thee, though known but for a few fleet years,
The heart-affianced sister of our love!

--William Wordsworth

========

Requiem im pace, Karla

--Spivey

I haven't posted for a few weeks, as I did not have a very good month. First of all, my Pekinese Gizmo, died in his sleep on Sept. 3rd. Then while I was on vacation in Maryland, my other Peke Lucy became ill and I ended up putting her t sleep when I got back. To lose on was tragic, but to lose both of them was horrendous. It broke my heart about Lucy as she was a very special spirit to me. I also took my horse Dartin out to a retirement farm. He is settling in nicely with a mare named April.

On a happier note, my visit to Maryland with my daughter was wonderful. We did a lot of sight seeing, Arlington Cementery, The new WWII Memorial which is very beautiful. The thirs site we went to was the Holocaust Museum. There is no one word to describe the horrific scenes the pictures and everything else. We spent about 2 hours there and could have spent another, but my grandson was tired so we left. Things I plan to see next year is, Ft Myers, where they keep the cassions and horses for the military funerals at Arlington. I wanted to see Blackjack's memorial. He was the riderless horse in the cassion funeral procession for President Kennedy. He is buried there with his own headstone. We also want to visit the Washington Zoo.

And now for the good news, I just picked up a new dog, named Princess. She is a Pomeranian-Pekinese. I found her on the dog rescue site.
Her owner could not keep her due to ill health. I am looking forward to bonding with her.

Now we are making national and world news again with Mount St. Helens becoming active. It is not very serious yet, just steam and ash.

For those who are hurting, I send warm thoughts to you.

Paul, what's happening in your life these days.

Take care & Love
Marge

Cat,

Thanks for the news on Paul's new gig. It sounds like a lot of fun - wish we could see it here in the States.

Hey. I survived three hurricanes and I am glad to tell you that we don't have anymore hurricanes coming. But it is stressfully hot. Hope the cooler air comes soon.

Sara

Mary, Peter, Nertha, Mil, Kelly, Sally C. and Julie...thank you for all the birthday wishes!

Peter, anything you sing from your heart is always beautiful. And yes, there are probably many things besides our sequential ages that you, Mary and I have going on. Yet to be discovered, psychic sorts of things? Yep, that's what I'm thinking.

Marge, I'm so sorry about your beloved dogs. I know how much that hurts. Your love for them was evident from your posts. I hope you'll soon be sharing stories about your new little friend.

Love to all of you,
Michelle

Hi Paul
I've not posted for a while but I do visit the site regularly.
After reading about your appearance in "Dancing with the Stars" I thought you would like to know that a version of this show has appeared on UK television. It was called "Strictly Come Dancing" and celebrities/sportspeople paired up with professional ballroom dancers. The celebs had no clue how to ballroom dance. The dancers had to teach the celebs a new dance each week which they then had to perform live on Saturday evening. The panel of expert judges gave their honest opinions of the performances and then the viewers had to phone in and vote for their favourite couple. The couple with least votes was eliminated and the others then went on to learn another dance for the following week. The eventual winners were breakfast tv news presenter Natasha Kaplinsky and her Kiwi dance partner Brendon Cole. The show was a huge success over here and consequently ballroom dancing has become really popular again, especially the sexy latin American dances. Every body wants to learn. There is another series due on again soon. Apparently celebs have been fighting to get on this show! So Paul, I hope the show does just as well over there.

Love to everyone
Jean J
UK