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Monday, 28 March
Trouble keeping up
I have missed a few anniversaries - Mil and Ellie, The Timmer... Babies been born, weddings being had - life just keeps on going doesnt it. No waiting around for anybody to catch up. I often write blogs as I walk the dog or ride the motorbike to meetings only to find that when I get home and come out to the office and write (rewrite) the blog it has gone, the moment has been expressed, the bus has left and I am not on it. I guess that is the idea of a blog - except of course you are supposed to write it down! But it is about expressing it, feeling it and then moving on from it. Gee I have had some great blogs over the last couple of months and some not so good ones. I have also had my head down and been getting on with it, trying to sell my beer and build a brand as well as continue to plant seeds and proactively create that which I want in my life. Is it working? I think so. When you look at the top of the mountain whilst standing at the bottom and see yourself standing at the top and the vision is very immediate - bang you are there!!! The journey however is long and sometimes it feels that you are going in slow motion watching all the things you strive for, wish for, work for seem to be rushing past you as you take one careful step after the other. My life already resides in some forms at the top of the mountain - that is part of creating the goal and the reality of getting there, the rest of me often feels as though it has missed the bus. Dreams, goals, desires, wants, needs are the whirlwinds that surround the honey of my life - sweet but sticky. Note: comments on old entries are closed. Please comment only on the current entry. Comments
Paul, I think you summed it up pretty well. Life's not easy. Sometimes you feel like you've missed the bus and sometimes you feel like you've been thrown under it! But then, there are the times when you've caught the bus and it took you to a place you never expected! Life is full of surprises, like a rollercoaster. You've just got to close your eyes and hang on for the ride! Be well. Sally Posted by: Sally C. on March 28, 2005 06:24 PMfrom IP: 207.239.14.37Hi Paul, It is good to hear from you, especially to hear you sounding so positive about Mercs Own! :-) So you write blogs in your head ... sounds like me when I envision/plan miniature projects in my head -- most of them are still in there, but some are gone forever because I didn't write down the ideas. Some miniaturists keep a notebook on their night table for quick noting of those in-the-middle-of-the-night bright ideas. So my advice to you is that, perhaps, you should take a tiny tape recorder along to get those blogs down so we can get to read them. Next time one comes along while walking the dog try to remember that an unwritten blog left inside your head can lead to blog clog ... blog block ... or is it blogger's block??? LOL Seriously, though, you wrote: "Dreams, goals, desires, wants, needs are the whirlwinds that surround the honey of my life - sweet but sticky." How true! As long as there is sweetness there is bound to be some stickiness -- be it honey, sugar, syrup, etc. We get to taste the sweetness of life, but with it comes also some sticky stuff that needs tidying up, and may even require us to go on a diet from time to time. :-) Hugs to you, Andrea, and the girls! Ooops, I better get some sleep, I don't think I'm making any sense, am I? :-) Hugs to all PCers, wow,Paul!it sounds you have been thinking lots of deep stuff lately.There are times you get really into that kind of thoughts and you wonder why life is like this or like that...but of course,we have to go on with all the stuff that make us to be down sometimes. Un beso a todos (vivir con miedo es como vivir a medias) Hello everyone! You are beautiful Posted by: Jayde on March 29, 2005 04:13 AMfrom IP: 82.32.120.7ok Posted by: Selena on March 29, 2005 08:56 AMfrom IP: 66.50.7.250ey,paul!i saw on the internet the interview on Talking heads(abc).it was amazing to read a recent interview of you.congratulations for your great speaking.you have the knowledge of the life, of your amazing experiences. Hi Paul. That's not so bad though. It's only when you park your bum and neither look backwards to reflect on the wisdom you've gained, or choose to move forward, that you become stagnant. I have found though, that it's important to stop, reflect and recognise where I am and where I have come from, and to not forget the determination and effort that has propelled me forward. But perceptions often get in the way, especially when you are always forward-focussed. Yes, that's a lesson that I've learnt, but often forget to put into practise as I'm looking forward towards the next benchmark. I managed to catch DWTS last night. I also wish big things for you with Merc's Own.
Hi to everyone at PC. Peter Posted by: Peter on March 30, 2005 05:08 AMfrom IP: 203.220.146.119Hello Paul, Peter, Sally C. and the Gang (hmm, sounds like a band) and all of you lovely folks I'm just now meeting: Nertha, Jayde, Selena, lizee, Isabel. Evelyn sweetheart that she is, sent me a CD of DWTS. With some trepidation, I watched the first episode. I was afraid it would be one of those scathing things, like American Idol, with the nasty comments from the judges. But I was pleased to find that it's interesting viewing. I'm not familiar with the dance jargon, but you, Paul are a very gracious person and you make good comments and suggestions in a loving way. That's a breath of fresh air, I can tell you! Ah yes. I write brilliant things in my head day after day and forget them. I used to keep a pad by my bed and will start to do that again. I also have a little tape recorder, but I need something that's voice activated, because as soon as I depress the switch, that spontaneous profusion of wit and wisdom vanishes and I sound stodgy and pompous. As to feeling as though life is rushing by you while you're moving in slow motion... That was the last year of my life in spades. I still feel that way sometimes, but I try to focus on what I'm doing and enjoying now, more than on what is passing me by. If there's one message I received about life from my cancer battle it's that goals are important, but the joy is in the process. Speaking of which, I just auditioned for a local community theatre production of Brighton Beach Memoirs. Didn't get cast. (Allan did.) But I REALLY enjoyed getting up on stage for the first time in about 18 years and just playing. The director paid me high compliments in front of some other artists and community leaders at an arts committee meeting yesterday. That was nice, but I was personally satisfied with my work at the audition and that was even nicer. Well, I have regained much of my strength and focus, but not all. Now I have to try to get some sleep. I have to prep tomorrow for my follow-up colonoscopy on Thursday. Whoopie! Best wishes to you all and keep on keeping on Paul. As soon as I win the lottery, I'll invest in your beer company. Can't let you keep all the good stuff in OZ. Love, Diane Posted by: Diane on March 30, 2005 01:54 PMfrom IP: 24.130.97.119Thank you to Abeth who tried to answer my question (the one that snuck into the archives for the last blog entry, and I suspect was posted while Paul posted his new entry). Any other thoughts as to the sprinkly stuff? Is Paul likely to seee the question about choreography? ey,Paul! Sweet buy sticky. I like that. So often we think that as we follow our goals our life will fall into place, but it doesn't. It's sweet with all the good around us, but at the same time we caught in it and mess with it, we get ourselves sticky in the process. It just goes to show that even when life is going good, you still get messy! For those that have asked I got all my test results back. Long story short, they feel it was a false positive - MRI's are known for that. And the spot with the lump is probably scar tissue since it didn't enhance.- it was a different spot that did. What am I gonna do? My oncologiest is willing to schedule me with a surgen for the lump, but I think I'm gonna hold off on that. As for the MRI enhancment. I'm going to accept it was a false positive. I asked my dear, dear husband why I have such a hard time accepting it was nothing and it IS nothing. He said because I'm not used to it being that way. I agree. I need to instead look at what is going good in my life and, as Paul as said, let it get me sticky. Besides I start an MRI research study in July. If it is something, they'll find it. And I'll refuse to worry until then! Hope all is well. Jill Posted by: Jill on March 30, 2005 08:43 PMfrom IP: 68.187.148.218
Be well. Sally Posted by: Sally C. on March 30, 2005 11:28 PMfrom IP: 207.239.14.37Happy Birthday, Paul! May you have a year of good health, great adventure, peace and prosperity. With love and appreciation, Diane
Happy Birthday Paul! I hope this year will be a great one! Happy Birthday, Paul! Hope you are having a fabulous day of celebrating that sets the tone for a fabulous year for you. Hello everyone, will have to read your posts later, no time now! Posted by: Evelyn on March 31, 2005 03:22 AMfrom IP: 134.29.30.175Time is a funny thing, the way it goes faster when we're enjoying life and slower while we're waiting for something to happen. Einstein actually tried to explain relativity to someone by saying, "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." One of the nice things about getting older is being able to find contentment in the waiting, the in-between moments. It's not easy, but I do think you learn to find just as much value in what SEEMS to be empty. That may be where the real treasure lies! Paul, my birthday wish for you is that you find peace in EACH moment. The slow and the fast, the happy and the sad, the new/exciting as well as the old/familiar. May the Universe bless you with all that is good, and may life bring you what your heart desires! Happy Birthday!!! Love to you, Happy birthday Paul! Wishing you joy on your special day and dreams fulfilled in the year ahead. With love to you, "..the folks atop the ladder "Follies 2005" Paul, Diane, and Jill, we're all strokin' you, wishing you a wonderful birthday, good fortune, good health, and love to all! The Biggest Mother Hen, Mil Posted by: Grandma Mil on March 31, 2005 03:45 AMfrom IP: 4.234.6.129In my family my mother always calls and leaves a message of her singing Happy Birthday on my answering machine. It's not a birthday without her doing that. Since I can't leave a message on your machine. This will have to do!
Jill Posted by: Jill on March 31, 2005 04:00 AMfrom IP: 68.187.148.218Paul, Have a beaut one. Peter Posted by: peter on March 31, 2005 04:00 AMfrom IP: 203.221.242.101Happy Birthday, Paul! happy smiles and hugs, deltalady aka Sally Posted by: deltalady on March 31, 2005 07:08 AMfrom IP: 66.231.2.242Hey all, It's been forever, I know. I couldn't bring myself to even read the blog till today. Paul, good job on the race Tim, Happy anniversary. Thats a long time. What has happened since the last time we talked? The doctors told us that Clay's shoulder injury was permanant ligiment damage and he would never throw a ball again. His ligaments have been stretched so far from wrestling, they will never go back.. Surgery is an option after he stops growing. He will never pitch again, they said. So many stresses, Tom and I couldn't take it. We have our house pretty well ready to sell but Tom doesnt want to cause he thinks I will leave him when it sells. That was my thought, but I dont think so now. Funny how they know what you are thinking, even when you dont tell them. it will all work out, I suppose. I think it will. Work is good, no real pressures. I have let alot of my anxiaty of work go, It doenst really bother me anymore. Funny, it took my life falling apart to make me realize work is just work, nothing else. Paige is great, and becoming a young woman. It's scarry how fast they grow! We are on vacation starting Friday. Clay is going to Florida for spring break with his freind and his family. WE are sticking around the house to get things done, Cant wait to have some time off. Hope everyone is fine, I have been thinking about you through the months. I will check in soon! Kelly Posted by: KELLY on March 31, 2005 11:06 AMfrom IP: 68.73.68.143oops forgot, Happy Birthday Paul. Kelly Posted by: kelly on March 31, 2005 11:07 AMfrom IP: 68.73.68.143Hello to all from Ballarat Victoria! I've heard that Victoria has some nice boutique beers to try but I haven't had any yet. With the help of a friend in Perth and a mailed CD, I have been able to get DWTS a bit up-to-date. The following files (for episodes 5,6 and 7) have been uploaded: http://number98.com/out/DWTS205a.mp4 http://number98.com/out/DWTS206a.mp4 http://number98.com/out/DWTS207a.mp4 The earlier episodes are all still there. Ie: http://number98.com/out/DWTS201a.mp4 http://number98.com/out/DWTS202a.mp4 http://number98.com/out/DWTS203a.mp4 http://number98.com/out/DWTS204a.mp4 I'm getting short of space on the server and I will need to delete the earlier episodes before I load more. so if you want them, please get the older files first. Sorry for the terse note, I haven't even had a chance to read the latest PC goss but I've saved it to a thumb drive to read later. Posted by: Brian on March 31, 2005 11:31 AMfrom IP: 220.240.242.221HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL !!! Today it has been exactly one year since I've posted for the first time. Not knowing what impact it would have on my life and that it would change my life completely. I remember how insecure I felt about writing down a message, and about my English, so I mustered up the courage I had and congratulated you on your birthday.... By posting that message, I didn't know that I would become a part of such a wonderful group of friends and that I would meet (some of) them in Florida !!!! It has been an amazing year for me. Hopefully the following year will be just as good !!! Love, HAPPY BIRTHDAY,PAUL. Paul, Happy Birthday!!! I wish to give some thing for you, because today is your birthday, but it is God than give, day by day,special moments, for all in "Corner": to know you, your mind, your sweet heart, your dreams,difficulties and hapiness!!! You always will be a big star!!! Caroline Posted by: Caroline on April 1, 2005 12:32 AMfrom IP: 200.138.244.123I heard on the radio this morning that Terri Schiavo passed away. I know she's in a better place. Sara W Posted by: Sara W on April 1, 2005 04:58 AMfrom IP: 66.90.49.93Kelly, I'm sorry to hear about Clay's shoulder injury. I'm glad that he's continuing in the sport with his best effort. I'm also sorry for your continuing health and financial problems and the stress everything has put on your marriage. You have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Since you are questionning the wisdom of calling it quits after so many years, perhaps you should consider marriage counselling, if you haven't already. Maybe it will help you revive your relationship. If it doesn't bring you closer, at least you'll know that you've given it your best effort. I wish you the very best. My love to all! Posted by: Diane on April 1, 2005 07:23 AMfrom IP: 24.130.97.119Ive caught up with my PC reading now and it looks like some of you have been facing some challenges lately. My thoughts go out to you and I hope things all work out well. To Jill. Hopefully you are through the worst now. The docs like to be cautious and thats really the way you want them, but they can put you through some real fear while they run test after test. I think after a while they forget that we (the patients) hang on their every word as the life and death issue that it can be and they treat us like they expect us to be as casual about it as they are; Why dont you give us a call sometime early next week. We should have the results by then. I want to scream at them This is my LIFE!. Please, Please ring me the instant you know. 2am! 3am! Whenever! Ill be waiting by the phone! but I dont. I just nod and say fine.
To Kelly. I wish I could reach through the Internet and give you a big hug. No words. Just a long, tight, lingering, brotherly hug. To Paul. Happy (belated) Birthday and congratulations on the car race. Like someone else posted, I almost felt like I was in the car with you as I read it. To Evelyn. I havent checked out the FIF page yet but Im on my way there now. Love to all, Wow Kelly! Life just doesnt seem easy or simple does it? I send my thoughts and love to you. There is a path before you and I wish you well where ever it may lead. For what ever it is worth there are people here - myself included - that love you and send our best to you. Out of the difficult stuff and the hardship a pheonix rises from the ashes - new opportunities are born. In fact I have been looking for a good graphic image of a pheonix so I can get it tattooed on my arm. Andrea and the kids dont want me to but I do. Brian, thank you so much for the DWTS eps. You are a hero! Are you coming through Melb and when? I am sure I owe you a coffee! Some ones life and some ones death should never be a political issue - when that happens humanity no longer is the issue but the scapegoat. Posted by: Paul on April 1, 2005 03:46 PMfrom IP: 220.237.40.85Kelly- I'm so sorry for everything you're facing. I'm sure it's hard enough to face your own difficulties, but it's so much hard to watch our children go through hard times. I hope you get answers soon - I know how it feels to not know what it happening and why. Brian - thank you. I know what you mean about waiting for test results. Waiting to find out about my lump was only compounded by the idiot dr. I'm actually really at peace with my decision to just wait for the MRI in July. Paul - I say get the tattoo. I'd love to get one, but I'm too chicken. My sister has 7 of them. I tell her she's cluttered. LOL I do think she has them out of her system now. I will say, all of hers of tasteful and even cute - on is of The Cat in the Hat. She teachers 2 year olds. Sometimes I think about getting a pink ribbon, but I don't know if I want a permanent visible reminder ALL THE TIME. Sometime I'd like to forget even for a day. Let us know if you get it! Take care all Jill Posted by: Jill on April 1, 2005 07:52 PMfrom IP: 68.187.148.218Oh I forgot to share. It is my dear, dear daughter's 6th birthday today! She is an April Fool baby. I can't believe I have a six year old. Jill Posted by: Jill on April 1, 2005 07:54 PMfrom IP: 68.187.148.218I AGREE WITH YOU,PAUL.IT WAS REALLY SAD FOR ME TO KNOW ABOUT THE CASE OF TERRY SCHIAVO.HOW COULD IT BE POSSIBLE?SHE DIED CAUSE THEY REFUSED TO GIVE HER FOOD AND WATER.THATīS INSANE,CRUEL...I CRIED A LOT WHEN I SAW THE NEW OF HER DEATH.I FOLLOWED THAT CASE FROM THE BEGINING AND IīVE BEEN REALLY INTO KNOWING WHAT WAS GOING ON.I FEEL SO SORRY...IN SPAIN WE ARE MAD AT THAT EVENT...ITīS SO SAD. Say Paul I've been meaning to ask. I thought I read that you're in the extra features in Irobot. I thought I read it showed you working. Is that true? Jill Posted by: Jill on April 1, 2005 08:34 PMfrom IP: 68.187.148.218Happy belated Birthday. May you have many many more. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Posted by: Libby on April 1, 2005 09:20 PMfrom IP: 24.217.112.207Jill, I wish you the very best in your quest for better health. I am feeling well (on most days) and wishing that for you and Kelly and everyone here who is suffering in any way, shape or form. Happy, happy, happy birthday to your daughter! Thanks for sharing the news and your joy over her. I wish her many glorious years with you and more as she ventures out into the world. My young men are one year and two years from leaving the nest and I can't get enough of them. In fact, today is our 21st wedding anniversary and we're taking them with us on a day trip to Santa Barbara. Terri Schiavo's situation was a traumatic one for everybody involved, including her husband who, I believe, has been unjustly villified. My heart goes out to Michael Schiavo and to Terri's parents and siblings. If I am ever in that condition, I hope my husband will make sure that my wishes are obeyed as outlined in my advance health care directive. Though I know others may feel just as strongly that they should be maintained under any circumstances, I would want my family to have enough love for me and faith in G-d to let me go. The blessing from this sad story is that people are making preparations to spare their families from this sort of fiasco. Love to you all, Diane Posted by: Diane on April 2, 2005 12:11 AMfrom IP: 24.130.97.119Diane, Happy 21st Anniversary, and many, many, more with continue good health, and happiness for you and your family! (Wish I had a glass of Merc's Own to raise for the occasion, but I don't drink anyway, and Australia is too far to import anything in time!) Ellie and I have had living wills for a long time, taken out when we were much younger, but I told Ellie not to get too anxious to have someone pull the plug on me, for I still may have a song in my heart, so not so fast, buddy! I think the biggest mistake that Michael Schievo would make is to have Terri cremated, and to exclude Terri's parents from any decision as to her funeral arrangements...that's what's in his plans now, the media reports, and it is absolutely heartless and cruel. I guess he's concerned that her final resting place would attract attention for a long time to come...who knows! Shalom and Love, Mil Posted by: Grandma Mil on April 2, 2005 02:31 AMfrom IP: 4.234.108.103Jill, a very happy birthday to your daughter! I hope she has a wonderful day. I wish you continued good health and peace of mind. Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear you've been through such a rough time. To be challenged from all sides like this seems so unfair after all you've had to deal with. But if I had to bet on anyone coming through, it would be you. I'll hope and trust that things will work out for you all. Love and good wishes back to you. Sally, how are you? I hope all is well with you. Brian, sincere thanks for your dedication in bringing DWTS to PC. I hope that you and your family are having a wonderful time. Hello to Paul and to all my friends here and to all PCers old & new. A warm welcome to Sharelle and Libby. Love to all, Jill please wish your daughter a very happy birthday from myself and my family!!!! Congrats to Diane and Allan on their 21st!!! I will raise a glass of Mercs Own in your honour tomorrow - tonight is a rostered day off the grog! Posted by: Paul on April 3, 2005 05:39 PMfrom IP: 220.237.40.85Thanks Paul! I'm waiting for the day when Merc's Own is available through my local stores. Or I can catch a flight to Oz. When it's available in Brisbane, let me know and I'll tell my cousin and her husband to give it a try. Right now, I'm up at 4 a.m. trying to figure out whether or not I should cancel a campaign meeting scheduled for this afternoon. I came down with a sore throat and fatigue on Friday which led to a short stay and no celebration in Santa Barbara. Thanks also to Millie and Elliott for your fun card! You are such delightful people. Good night! Posted by: Diane on April 3, 2005 07:12 PMfrom IP: 24.130.97.119Kelly - BIG hug, hon! "Sweet but sticky"...so drips the honey of our lives...that's pretty good! I mean, seriously, I can't think of anything else I'd rather drown in. And it's AMBER, too! My favourite colour! (beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer ...) I need Merc's Own in Rochester, NY. Your sister lives in this state--get her working on it! ;-) Are you looking for someone to sit at trade shows and tout it's wonderful attributes? heeheehee, I can see myself giving up a few weekends for THAT job! Think Big: Bring it to the states (not that we're the best, just REALLY the other side of the world). I'll champion it for you...you know, as a personal favour of course...not 'cause I LIKE the stuff or anything. ;-) I am seriously looking forward to Happy Hour in a few hours, so I'll raise a (crappy Denver) ale to you since my friends are too cheap to buy pitchers of Guinness now that St. Pat's celebrations are over. The wankers. Here's to some Birthday Lovin'! ;-0 Deranged Dhi Posted by: Dhiana on April 9, 2005 01:41 AMfrom IP: 64.132.54.94Hi Paul. Happy Birthday. Just curious, Did you shave your head for your work in the movie Robot or had it been like that for a while? NOTE: Comments are moderated. 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