Paul's Corner

....and you know, the sooner you realise this the hard time becomes - I was going to say easier to get through but that is not true - it becomes a little more palatable.

She's a wise woman. I completely agree.

Paul that seems so pessimistic. So unlike you. Usually, you are so quick to remember and remind us about all that is good and positive in life.

Love,
Tea
xxoo

That's why they are called HARD times. I relate it to the "labor" a woman goes through to give birth to a child. Look at the outcome!
I don't think wisdom comes for free either...you have to experience life to become wise...

So do we want to avoid hard times? Not me.

Love to you all and thanks for making my mind spin for a sec there, Paul. I was almost falling asleep at my desk.

Love to all of you! and more hard times.....
I could make a really crass and off color remark about other things that start out hard and end up great....shhhhhh

I really don't mean any offense and I hope that everyone knows that but it sounds like it's almost choosing to be unhappy and that is not the Paul I have been reading for the last few months (and more becasue I've read all his posts)

I think it sounds pragmatic, rather than pessimistic. Once you stop pretending that hard times are supposed to be easy, then you can start finding ways to cope. Heck, I make notes about coping, so I can use them the next time things go bad. Of course the most useful one (though I rarely think so at the time) is "this too shall pass".

Cat, I know you're an aethist and I mean no disrespect to you when I ask you if you knew that was/is from the bible?
And when I think of hard times as something that one must cope with I can see where Andrea would say it's not easy to get through hard times, but I also want to mention that some times hard times only seems hard and the perspective of such is more of an obstacle to overcome than the situation itself.
I am quick to answer when I already take antidepressents so I guess I'm not the best person to give coping advice, because I do have help that resides outside of my own physical capability.

Not to be discouraged on Paul's state of mind, Tea.

I have observed him to be a deep and sensitive soul. I am no authority on him, but this is just what I have observed or sensed in the few months I've been visiting this site.

Sometimes,this tends to lean a bit on the dark side. I think our grasshopper's going to make it! That's what we're all here for, to keep each other from going off the deep end! Lucky us to have each other to vent and lean on so we don't have to get too out of balance with our loved ones around us.

To me, it seems the more artistic a person is, the more they fight the demons we all possess. We all have our own boogiemen to deal with and some find it easier than others.

Get ready, some of us may experience depression during this time of year. It's supposed to be a joyous season, but in real life sometimes the holiday's can be very sad and lonesome.

I find that our perspectives go crazy sometimes. As long as we come back to the middle eventually, we get the opportunity to get stronger and stronger.

I don't mean to sound all knowledgeable or anyting. So if this if off, please take it in stride. Thanks

p.s. we all need optomists like you to remind us of the good things. I am happy and grateful for every breath of fresh air I take, but that doesn't mean I don't get way dark sometimes. :)

P.S. I worry also since Paul's brother suffered from depression.

Tea--While I found a reference to a traditional story told about Solomon, I didn't find the actual phrase in the bible. I'd always heard it ascribed to Buddha, but some poking around reveals that the phrase is all over the place. It's a good one, no matter what the source.

Just one more comment....

Regarding anti-depressants..

I'm really on the wire about these meds. Not so much as Tom Cruise's recent statements while being interviewed by Matt Lauer, but I'm just saying.

Sometimes I am all for it, if it helps...but the root of the issues still need to be dealt with. I think for many, the meds make you stronger or braver to actually dig deep and look at the muck.

I've been offered Lexipro RX by my physician and I actually have a 2 month supply sitting on the shelf and I'm reluctant to take it, because I am not too sure about wanting my brain messed with.

I get anxiety. Some might have noticed that I seem a bit hyper sometimes. I know this is tied to depression and I know where mine comes from. I am dealing. Maybe not always perfectly, but dealing.

Now, having said that, I mentioned in here some time ago, that maybe Paul might want to look into the meds also. I hated to say that!! Really, I did. I am not claiming to be any kind of expert, like I stated previously. And I don't KNOW Paul. (I wish I did) ;)

I just really wonder if our human minds, at the point of evolution we are at, are capable of dealing with all the crap that is thrown at us in this life as it is currently. It seems to be way much. But look at the cavemen..everyday was just a battle to survive, so who knows?

I just know that nowadays we deal more with suicide, death of a purposeful life, the loss of the will to live...things like this, and sometimes, I think the meds might help. Who knows?

If the worst Paul does is whine a little now and then and feel sorry for himself, what better place to do it than in PAUL'S CORNER?? LOL

I'm not making light of Paul's life. It's serious. He's lost a brother and a dear friend to suicide. That is something you NEVER get over, no matter if you spend thousands on therapy or meds. You just finally find a quiet place to let it lye. And like Paul said to us once, you find a way to "rest in peace". I think Paul is just still trying to find that resting place. I have faith that he will find it one day. He loves his girls and that will give him the courage to hang in and wait for the peace to come.

We love you Paul!

Mary:

Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Meds aren't there to "make you stronger to deal with the root problem." Sometimes, yes, depression can be triggered by an emotional upset. That kind of depression is usually temporary, and can be treated with counseling and meds. Endogenous depression has little to do with that. Episodes can be triggered by emotional upset, but that's because the disease leaves people unable to cope normally. Counseling is helpful, because people with depression often lack basic coping skills. But skill-building is generally what counseling is about--not getting to the root of anything. Because the root is chemical.

Medication (in the best case) returns the patient to near normal functioning. If you had high blood pressure, would you ignore your medication because you didn't want to mess with your circulatory system? This really is the same thing. My husband calls it "diabetes of the brain" to help people understand the chemical nature of the illness.

Depression is a disease. Not a moral failing, not a personal weakness, not a reaction to a hard childhood. The longer it takes the general populace to realize this, the more people we will lose to this devastating illness.

"Against Depression" by Peter D. Kramer (author of "Listening to Prozac") is a fantastic book on this subject.

I don't mean to come off harshly, but this is a very serious issue, and I have a hard time letting a misunderstanding of this nature pass.

Tom Cruise is an idiot.

p.s. "This to shall pass" is a great one! I say it and pass it on quite a bit. All things shall pass eventually. It's just so hard to see the light when we're in a deep dark hole of despair. It sucks. That was one of the main problems my husband had. He couldn't see the light and gave up. He didn't comit suicide, but lived so carelously, that he ended it in a motorcycle accident. Even though he had two beautiful children that we love so much and he had another son, that he had abandoned early in life, he could not overcome his guilt, sadness and self loathing. Life is too short to judge. We just need to love and cuddle each other emotionally and make it feel better.

I do go on! Sorry.

Good response Cat. And I do appreciate it. I am not meaning to sound like I take this subject lightly. I am still gathering facts and information. I really am not one to speak out too much on the subject. I just wonder why so many people seem to have this imbalance nowadays? In the old days, were the chemicals this imbalanced? Is it the poisons in our food and environments? What the heck is happening to us? Is it just that with modern science we now have a way to determine the chemical imbalance and treat it? Is this too new to say for sure if it's the right thing to do or not? Those are just some of the questions that I think about. I'm not trying to join the "idiot" club.

I am not in the least offended by your reply. Thanks Cat.

>>Is it just that with modern science we now have a way to determine the chemical imbalance and treat it?

Yep, that's the one. Depression has always been around. The problem is there's a sort of historic "nobility" associated with the disease--that artistic temperament. ;) Seriously--if you're interested, definitely get the Kramer book. In it, he describes his own journey toward seeing depression for what it is.

Well said Cat. I have suffered from depression since I was 14 years old. I won't bore you with the details, they are messy, ugly, pathetic and yet there were so real sweet spots along the way (the birth of my son). But I have only been on medication steadily within the last year (prior to that I was off and on them from 2000).
And as Cat wrote so well, I am "normal", without them I'm lathergic in my emotions. In other words, I don't sit around crying all them time, it's really something ugly and mean that is inside my head that makes me look at the world with a very flat feeling and then desperation because I'm a mother and etc... and have many responsibilties. Medication has helped me so much. I really am a different person with them. :)

Thanks Cat. I may have to take a look to learn more. I guess it's just getting so much more exposure with the media, etc. I'm glad it's not hidden in the dark anymore and we can become more educated and proactive with our own mental health.

It's all good. I'm just old fashioned and a bit synic when it comes to alot of things. I have to figure it out for myself and I'm kinda stubborn.

P.S. MaryS depression has been around forever. The only reason why you hear about it so much is because antidepressents are working. I read somewhere that they don't even know why they work, they just do. I think of it as a blessing. My humble opinion. ;)

ok...I'm on a roll now. From what I've read, the whole thing around treating depression, anxiety, OCS, ADD, etc are based upon theories and there are no real lab tests to prove chemical imbalance...yet this is a 23 billion dollar endeavor now....who's fooling who??

I'm not trying to fire anyone up...these are personal opinions...I may disagree with myself after I learn more..

Mary: that's simply not true. Clinical studies show significant brain abnormalities in depressed people.

Be careful of your sources. The internet has lots of people who believe HIV doesn't cause AIDS, and plenty of folks who believe the Holocaust never happened.

Among the medical community, there really isn't an argument.

Here are just two studies:

http://www.biopsychiatry.com/hippodep.htm

http://www.annalsnyas.org/cgi/content/abstract/836/1/253

I dug these references out of the back of the book I recommended. They are abundant.

Dammit I messed up my post. I meant to write:
"I am NOT normal without my meds". The Paul Corner Chickies had to see me have a little episode a couple of months ago because I went off them trying to test the waters.

The reason why they are so popular MaryS is becauase they work and now they are being advertised to pretty much anyone in the dulldrums. And also as Cat wrote there really is no cure for that except counceling/therapy.

Awesome conversation. I will try to keep an open mind. I want to try the medication to see if it makes me see things differenty and maybe helps with my lack of motivation. Like I said, I have the meds at home. I free two month supply. This conversation is helping to educate me so I can make an informed decision about my body.

Thanks so much ladies!

Gotta log off now..heading out. Will let you know how it goes and again, I really appreciate the frankness we can speak with along with the resources I can check out.
Night

WOW....it is interesting how one thought can trigger all sorts of reactions.

I posted the comment because I found my wife's statement to be empowering and uplifting! I have also found the experience of that statement to be positively true. My wife and I have lived through tough times seperately and together and we agree the only way to get through them is to keep going and get through them - that is the only answer although sadly others have found ways to not get through it by actually not getting through it but giving in to it.

I dont want to get in to the debate regarding drug therapies as it is a mine field that I know little about. However a friend of mine suffers mental dissorder and on drugs they are stable off them they are abusive and cause great havoc and pain to those loved ones around them. I have been pushed by my doctors to take blood pressure medication but wont for two reasons - firstly I am high normal and am working on treating the condition through lifestyle changes and secondly there is no way I would be less stressed if I was IMPOTENT -(LOL) stress is a major cause of high blood pressure and impotency is a major side affect of some medications.!!! Can anyone see the irony in that? :)

Tom Cruise may or may not be an idiot - he is however naive, ignorant, disrespectful, selfish and an extremist by way of his beliefs - but hey thats his right - it would be better that he doesnt try and push them on to other people as that in my view makes some one like that an arrogant prick.

The simple truth is.... there is no easy way to get through hard times.

I only pray that you do.

Wow. What a discussion. I'm going to reply to the earlier posts about the phrase being pessimistic.

I guess it depends how you understand the phrase. People have different opinions.
For me, it is not about being pessimistic but more of an acceptance. You can still be "optimistic" and believe that you can get through hard times and going to rise above it in the end, but at the same time being "realistic', which is accepting the fact that it won't be easy in the process. Let's say something upset you and even if you know in the end you'll get through it (because you're optimistic), it won't change the fact that you are upset now, because we need time to heal (or time to solve our problems).

It's like someone preparing for a race, if you're optimistic you believe you are going to get there in the end, but to prepare for it (the training you have to do) you know it won't be easy.
It's like saying "there is no easy way to win the race".

That's my take on that. I don't think of it as being pessimistic at all. Thanks for sharing it with us Paul.

With all this talk about phrases and depression reminds me of what I did yesterday.
I bought a book called "I Hate Myself and Want To Die" and my dad was worried that I bought such a book, but what he didn't see was the smaller title that says "The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard". The book is about depressing songs and the author explained it with humour why they are depressing. The book was quite funny actually.

HELLO PC FRIENDS,

My, many takes on getting through hard times and chemical inbalances. Ready for my take?

HOW TO GET THROUGH A HARD TIME-In a druken stupor-that way-hard time is forgotten. Due to being in a drunken stupor-new hard times are created due to the actions/comments done during the Drunken Stupor!! Old hard time will become a thing of the past. Obviously-this needs to be repeated during each hard time!! I say all of this with a touch of humor.

CHEMICAL INBALANCE-I am proof positive that without my bipolar medication-I live in a continual hard time and even alcohol does not remedy it. Without it-the end and final result could be suicide. Need I go on?

Have a lovely weekend!

HUGS!
Abeth

I was checking in this morning to see how everyone is doing and I have to admit this is hard topic to follow. I was just going to blab about the weather, Christmas shopping delemmas and why my neighbor next door has decided to give up on going to Waxy O' Conners on Friday nights after 20 years(something about the waitress not giving him back his change or something).

I had suffered from depression for many many years as the result of losing a certain person in my life for whom I truly cared about. I hid it from my husband and my family (he just thought that I was just moody at times and shrugged it off) and after working or between jobs I would just stay in the house and dwell over those events that triggered it.I had no life, didn't read a book, didn't go shopping, had no friends just felt sorry for myself and hid in the house like a hermit. This went on for almost six years.

Then two years ago when I was walking in the parking lot of the supermarket feeling moody as usual, a woman driving by stopped her car and told me, "You better get on the train before it passes you by". I was shocked, here I was not showing any outward sign on how I felt and this woman came out of the middle of no where and sent a clear and concise message. She then explained to me that she was recruiting for her church I said no thank you and I wished her luck and she drove off. But really, what where the chances that the universe would send me such a clear message. I was twenty nine years old and before more of my life passed by b/c of my hang ups I had to do something. I couldn't give up on myself anymore.

I've had a few doctors over the years offer to put me on meds like Zoloft and Paxel (I tried the paxel for a week and I had an awful reaction to it and threw it out). I knew my problems weren't chemical but I needed to talk to someone about them and that was my first step. Not a councelor in an office (I hate those settings) but my neighbor across the street who is a social worker and she helped me giving me great direction and advice. She also set a great example when she turned her life around a few years ago after separating from her husband after a twenty year marriange. She joined a gym and turned her body around, changed jobs and traveled to Italy last year (she bought the sexiest clothes on the trip that complimented her new physique. And being almost sixty years old and doing all this gave me great inspiration.

But the one thing I had to be aware of is that the process wasn't going to happen over night.

The one thing she make me realize is that I wasn't taking care of myself, loving myself, or rewarding myself. I kept dwelling on what I lacked instead of giving myself the credit that I deserved which everyone should do in their life. I examined my work (I hated it), my activities (there were none accept going to the gym and cleaning the house constantly) and my wardrobe (all I wore was black! EEEK). The waredrobe really was the eye opener as though I was dressing myself every day for mourning.

So I went back to school to learn a new trade (I'm a massage therapist), started joining groups in town and going to events and I have met friends through that ( have also reached out to get to know people in my neighbor), and I threw all my clothes away, yep, and little by little I invested in clothes that brought color and sensuality to my wardrobe. And as a result people started to notice me. When you're wearing black you dissapear color will make you more noticable. What an amazing discovery.Also when I do house cleaning I make sure I only spend a few hours doing what I can within that time frame so I also have a life on my days off from work. SO the other bathroom wasn't cleaned today its not like the president is comming over. And I had to learn to include my husband's help when doing the chores.

There's more to life than bad events, loss and other demons that hinder on happiness. They will always be around no matter what and I've learned that it takes effort and work to make sure the good things are still maintined in our lives (happiness doesn't fall from the sky directly into our hands). Whether the demons they go away doesn't matter its how we can make the best of life each day and taking care of ourselves in the process.

Have a great week-end all!

Julie

Paul! now there is the positive silver lining thought I knew you to share. Thanks for clarifying that. My perception was that you are going through something difficult and that you accepted a take on it that was on the level of "giving up". I agree that you just keep on keeping on when you are going through hard times. They eventually pass, as Cat put it with "this to shall pass".

Mary S. be sure to realize it takes weeks for you feel the full effects of the drugs. My doctor recently put me on celexa rather than zoloft. I like celexa much better, as it has curbed my appetite and Zoloft made me an absolute pig. I have tried lexapro and it is a lot like zoloft and celexa. Paxil my doctor said she did not want me on. She didn't really give me a reason but I get the feeling it makes one zombie like.

Much love to all :)
Tea

abeth bless you for your honesty luv.

To me being pessimistic is not trusting outside forces and feeling that they have more influence over your life than you do. I know so many people like this. I believe in looking for all the good things that the world offers and the good in oneself that can find those things. Even during my most depressive states I clung to these beliefs. But it was like being on the doomed titanci; No matter how alive and healthy you are, the ship was going to founder and there were no life boats left. heh ;)

Hi everyone. I hope I didn't move this stream in a weird direction. That was not my intention.

I feel that depression, anxiety, etc are very personal and individual and no matter how much we discuss it, it will always be so. One can only make their own decisions on how to deal with the issue. Even an educated medical physician is only guessing when it comes to the functions of the brain, unless there is an MRI or other medical test that can show a very obvious brain condition. The rest is done by a patient simply stating emotional feelings and disfunctions. That's the part that worries me. If we can only feel normal on meds, then perhaps there is a chemical imbalance. If the meds make one feel worse, I would say, the issues may be strictly emotional. So many children are raised in chaotic and distructive environments, causing much acting out, etc, and then are placed on meds for ADD, and other labelled mental conditions. This also worries me.

I am NOT saying that medication is harmful or wrong. Like I stated, only the person or family being affected can be expected to make an educated decision on how to treat theirs or their loved ones brains and bodies.

I sure do love talking with all of you and I hope I am not harshly judged by anything I said.

Love to all of you. I wish only comfort and security for all of us.

Thanks for jumping back in Paul! I hope I dind't place a "funk" on your entry!

p.s.

Julie, I loved your entry. It shows the other side of dealing with depression, or otherwise called life. I do realize that for some, simply making life changes doesn't work and they continue to spiral down a bad fox hole. For these, I think, there may be a chemical imbalance or other compulsive behavior issues and maybe the only recourse is medication. I think science is barely touching the tip of the iceberg when it comes to human behavior, and the brain chemicals, vs the emotional reactions to stimuli. I think it's going to be forever controversial and like I said, personal, as far as explanations and treatments. Whatever makes a person function with more clarity and happiness, works for me.
Tea: Thank you also for all your kind input.
Cat: As always, thank you for everything.
Vivienne and abeth: you are little pieces of sunshine!

Julie, thank you for a wonderfully written and very inspiring post!

I came into this discussion late. So I may be off topic by now. But I do have some insight into true clinical depression, since my husband went through years of it following his borthers suicide. We understood why he chose to die, but it was still a very long, painful process to go through. I would say my husband went a good 3 years without any medications, and finally broke down and admitted that he felt he needed help. He comes from the strong male attitude that medications were for whimps. But after being on them for a while, he evened out, and his veiws on meds has changed considerably. He no longer takes them. But they did help him through times when sheer will and determination could not slay the demons.

I don't think Paul was saying that he was depressed. I think he liked the point that Andrea was making. And she's right. (the wives usually are. LOL) But life is a journey. And some of the roads will be bumpy.

Steve and I survived many years with the deep darkness of his brothers death following him, and subsequently us. It was not romantic, fun or easy. But here we are, stil going. And it's never easy. Anything worth having is worth working at. That's my two cents. For whatever it's worth.

I enjoy reading all your posts. It breaks up my long workday.

Hang in there all of you. Like my husband says, take a deep breath and run headfirst into everything, with no fear.

Good weekend to you all.

tracie

Hi Tracie. You hit on a very crucial point here. I fully believe in clinical depression.Weird huh? This is a debilitating illness usually caused by a tramatic event in one's life. I think the medical profession relates this condition more to natural causes vs chemical causes.

I suffered from this for over a year after a serious car accident that totally took me by surprise and brought back some very horrible memories of loss and insecurities from my past. I couldn't understand what was happening to me. I thought I was losing my mind. I saw a neurological psychologist who diagnosed me with clinical depression. Once I got the diagnosis and knew I wasn't going to lose it, I immediately felt more in control and was able to work my way out of it, with a few visits with this great Dr.

My thought is that clinical depression may affect a person's mental, physical and physiological states. I think maybe it's just a matter of what label sits the best for me. Clinical sounds safer to state than chemical. That might sound silly to some...but I think that's where I was coming from.

Thanks Tracie! That really helped me clarify what my thoughts were on this subject!

Hi Mary--

Clinical depression is kind of a meaningless term--it just means you have depression. Sometimes depression is caused by a traumatic event, but not always. I wouldn't even say usually. I think you may be confusing grief or deep sadness with depression. They aren't at all the same thing.

When depression is triggered by a traumatic event, it is like grief gone overboard--but it is still usually temporary. Once treated, it's gone. It gets lumped in with endogenous depression, I believe, because the treatments can be similar, and the physiological damage is similar.

Endogenous depression is not like that. It is a disease, just like tuberculosis or cancer. It can be, and often is, a lifelong condition that must be fought continuously. Unfortunately, the depressed mind is often clouded. The disease "sneaks up", and often the person doesn't realize they are sick. They believe the depression is "who they are". It is only after the symptoms are under control that the patient realizes how distorted their view of the world was when they were sick.

I realize the information out there is pretty confusing. My husband (a research scientist) and I both have the disease, and between us we have 30 years of study on the subject. I am always learning something new, because so much research is ongoing. My husband, naturally, is better at understanding the clinical trials. Between the two of us we keep up pretty well.

I do hope you'll be able to pick up a good book or two on the subject.

Thanks Paul and Mary!

Hope everyone will have a good week-end.

ps. Went to Waxy's last night and my neighbor did show up. I knew he couldn't give up the place after 20 years.

Hi Cat

Thanks for not giving up on me with the information you are sharing with me. I know it's taking some patience. I sure the heck am novice at understanding this. I do feel I suffer from a degree of depression. It doesn't stop me from functioning properly, but it may keep me from living more fully, that's for sure. I did have quite a tramatic and chaotic childhood. I witnessed and experienced mental and physical obuse. I, like many, unfortunately also experienced sexual abuse as a child. How can one not suffer from life-long depression from these events? Yet, I still do not feel I have a chemical imbalance. I may just be ignorant to the truth as yet, although I have been working on my own spriritual, physical and emotional health continuously. I seek out knowledge, keep my heart open, and grow my soul with every fiber I possess. I guess unless someone performed actual chemical tests on me, I would continue to want to treat these as clinically rather than chemically. I'm probably driving you nuts about now! Sorry. I really don't mean to challenge anyone's beliefs or actual educated views. I truly feel blessed to have people to talk to about this, other than someone that may have their own agendas or gains to be had. You know what I mean? I am by no means at a final belief or decision regarding how I will view this subject moving forward. If I were to become disfunctional or feel I was not getting better, I would definitely take the meds. I think I may just not be ready? It's a bit frightening, ya know?

Thanks so muck Cat.

Julie: you're a hoot! ;)

Dear Paul
I am in my city Garopaba, but I was in Rio de Janeiro only by one month. I will send photos to you (for Cat). Rio de Janeiro is knowledge how the wonderfull city and I can to write: this is true! Very hot in all the months, beautifull beaches and the people from Rio are very lovely and all like music and dance very much!
I was studing a little of hip-hop, samba, bolero, tango and salsa! Dancing all the days. I talked about you and your work with my teachers and some friends from EUA in Rio and all love you!
I need to write many things for you, but I am working very much and the time is litlle. But I will write more in this week. And we are with you, we are sure you will win all the problems! Don't worry!
Love for you and all in Corner!
Caroline

I have just discovered this site and I think it is fantastic. It is amazing how one sentence/quote can generate such discussion. I don't have a lot of experience with depression so I won't comment in case I muck up (sure I sometimes feel down but I don't think that is in the same category as the discussions here). I would like to say to Paul that I have enjoyed reading all the archives and thanks for letting people you don't even know gain an insight into your life

Hey all!!

I know I haven't posted in sooooooooo long, but due to the topic on hand I will contribute my thoughts.

I am taking Lexapro for anxiety and I guess you can throw depression on top of that. I felt a "fog" lift over me on the 3rd day. I felt "freed" when the 10 ml I was on started not working they uped it to 20 ml. Again I felt a "fog" lift off of me and I felt like I had been givien new contact lenses, literally I could see clearer. It helps and kick myself in the ass for not going on something 15 years ago. I have struggled with anxiety all my life, I think as I come from a violent home and you just don't know were the next surprise will come from. I don't know exactly. It doesnt matter.

Dont be afraid to use them if you need them. My family thanked me after I started taking mine because they said "they got me back" . That was tearful and necessary to hear.

As for Tom Cruise, I have never been a huge fan but now I truely know he is an ass. Not for his beliefs, he is entitled to those, but for critisizing others for not agreeing with him. That is what makes him an ass.

Now as for why I have not posted.,.....

Although the kids are great and beautiful.
Clay made varsity footbal as a sophmore. he is 5" 10 and 215 lbs of muscle. no fat baby. ell al little tummy!! He suffered a severe leg stain the last 3 games and had to sit, but thats is Clay for you. He hurt it playing soccer. But I wasnt devistated as I was on my meds and I was able to cope.

Paige is soooo beautiful I am so scared of how beautiful she is.... Her body should not be so proportioned for a 12 year old, but I guess she will start out like I did. She has nmasde honor roll all year so far on every report card !! We are so proud!!! She struggled so hard last year.

AS for me.... I got a new Rhumatologist who now tells me in addition to my Sarcoidosis, I have Fibromyalsia, 3 different kinds of Arthritis and I have to go for a colanoscapy, a full body CAT SCAN,Mammogram and a sleep apnia test. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH here we go again....... I am ok though, nothing to complain about, my MOM has 12 desieses and I dont hear her complain much so I have no business complaining either.

They gave me a handicapp sticker and I fealt guilty using it but as soon as winter hit,
That guilt flew right out the window. I enjoy the quick escape from the cold.

All Christmas shopping was done the day after Thanksgiving. So no worries there! Tom is fine. Cranky as ever about no money to found..... anywere! I just tell him hang in there and I will win the lotto soon enough!!! Of course, I wouild have to play to win!!

Well, I hope all is well.. I have thought about you all so much lately.... Glad everyone is still here.

Paul, I was wondering how your cooking show had gone, and if you were picked up. I also wonder how you would be able to get it syndicated to the us. We have THE FOOD NETWORK here in the states and that is all that is on it is cooking shows and shows about food, some are foreign based, I don't see why you wouldn't fit in. Escpecially when you see Steve Irwin on some show or another every other channel!! Although I do love the crock hunter!!! With so many stars coming out of Aulstralia, you would think we would have more shows from over there. (Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban (engaged... ohhh), Naiomi Watts, Russel Crowe, Health Ledger) anyway, just wondered....

WEll love to all, I am off to church in the morning so I need to go to bed. Love you all
kiss kiss hug hug

Kelly

Paul,

I guess it's an unavoidable aspect of life that at some stage each of us will face hard times of some kind. Hard times are generally something we're not prepared for, in one way or another.

I like Andrea's wisdom. It's very sound.
I also admire your own atitude regarding non reliance on drugs to "treat" a problem.

In my own humble opinion, drugs can only mask the problem at best, possibly distract for a time, and usually make the problem worse by letting the underlying cause grow unchecked.
This band-aid type of treatment also does not allow us to develop the ability to cope on our own, I believe.

I can't say for sure what the best way is to get through hard times. The answer is as diverse and unique as the problem.
I've found that I have to carry the responsibility myself, but always accepting help, especially when it is of the correct kind.
An undying optimism also serves me well.

This is my engine that drives me forward, helped by a good measure of pragmatism. But, I don't know what would work for other people.
I think faith is good, but only if action is the result.

I'm hoping that any health problems you have faced will quickly disappear for you.

Best regards,

Peter

Peter what a wonderful world you must live in; we should all be so lucky.

Tea,

Yes, I do believe that I am lucky.
And yes, I dearly wish that others could share in that luck.

Having been born with a drug addiction forced onto me by a person that I should have been able to trust, I choose to be determined in my approach. I guess that's understandable if I want to be the best that I can.
Fortunately, this works for me.

I wholly understand that others may not be so fortunate, and that other alternatives may be their only hope of relieving their pain.
No two persons' worlds are the same, are they?

Peter

HELLO PC FRIENDS,

MARY S-No harm done in opening a discussion of medications. You certainly weren't persecuting anyone like a certain "actor" has done. I love your posts.

HUGS!
Abeth

Awe! Thanks for your support abeth. Like I said, I feel very lucky to be able to speak to all of you as if we are old friends. Sometimes it really does feel that way.

Thanks
Elizabeth: Thank you for sharing with us.

Peter: Thanks for your very interesting post also.
We sort of think alike. :)

Kelly: I hope you continue to work through your trials.

Anyone I missed, thanks for all the great information and input on your own experiencse. All of it is at least informative and I feel privelaged that you all spoke out on this subject on my behalf and yours.