Paul's Corner

Oh Paul, I sure wish I could figure it out for you but your world is so different from mine. I don't understand how it all works. I do know that I love your acting, your dancing and you are so cute and sweet. So, I'm just as frustrated for you and find the whole extremely confusing!

(((sending all positive vibes your way)))

By cable do you mean foxtel?? I'm guessing i'm too late now but what channel is or was Day Of The Roses on? I can't see it anywhere in the tv guide. Bugger. I would have liked to see it.
I understand your frustration Paul but I suppose it would be even more frustrating to really want to act but be terrible at what you do. Do you have any idea how jealous I am of you? I'm currently nervously waiting for my HSC results that I know I could of done much better in with very little idea of what I want to do next year or what i'm capable of. When I came on this website I couldn't believe to find out you could dance, act, choreograph, write beautiful poetry, cook and start your own brewing company.
But rather than be disappointed with the uneven distribution of talents, I believe they couldn't have gone to a more deserving person who makes the most of what he has been blessed with. We all share your frustration that your talents haven't been exposed to their full potential but I guess that's just the industry. I still believe that big things will happen for you.
Its normal to get down when things don't go how you hoped regardless of how much you've been blessed, but never forget how special you are.

Paul,
Preface: totally sending you best wishes that you will get the acting job offers and not just the praise, which granted is nice, but ...

Main body of post: Day of the Roses seems interesting, haven't been able to get a hold of it in the US though. And I just wanted you to know, that I totally understand your need for winging in this situation, and the fine line you must be walking between winging and prayer. Really it is nice when people praise us for what we do and appreciate us, but when that logical necessary step of people in power/control delivering the goods after the implied promises does not happen as well, that praise quickly becomes an empty shell and even meaningless. I am so tired of the broken record I get to hear at work right now ever since they were made aware of the fact that they screwed up and put my legal status in the US into jeopardy and along with it my career: “We really love what you are doing here. We really don’t want to loose you. But remember, we can’t guarantee you your job. Go on the job market, we really want you to stay, but we can’t guarantee you your job!!!” and then when I did apply for other positions, they got mad at me for doing that and put the guilt trip on me. The power games being played right now are just mind boggling, I’m still waiting and hoping to wake up from this really bizarre dream.
Well, I’ve been sitting here staring at the computer screen for a while now trying to think of formulating or describing some sort of coping mechanism, but I’m drawing a blank and form of writer’s block (kind of like I’ve been doing the last 3 weeks when I’ve been attempting to write the job application materials for re-applying for my current position that I’m not so sure I want to keep, but I’m going to apply for anyway, I might have to “rely” on it, I have 10 more days to get it done… someone please kick me and break through my writer’s block). Okay, I guess one of my coping mechanisms, other than winging or ranting angrily, is tied to a very strong and firm belief that things are going to work out and that I have a purpose here both personally and professionally. This counters a bit the “What’s the point” question. Laughter is another strategy, trying to find something in that situation to laugh about, as it takes some of the stress off and some of the gloom away, along the lines of “it could be worse.” Acknowledging all the thoughts, emotions, reactions I have in response to this situation and being true to them as best as I can; looking for alternatives and taking small steps towards these goals. I also take a look at these situations in terms of “is it time to move on from somewhere, to look for new opportunities?”; surrounding myself with supportive and understanding people who do not attack my dignity and remove myself as much as possible from those people who suffuse my life with negative energy—granted this isn’t always possible to the extent I like, but these difficult situations demand tough choices and a great sensitivity towards that magical balancing act. And another big one for me is to make sure that I include enough fun things into my life to balance out the stress whether that’s going out for a drink with a friend, seeing art, reading a favorite book, going to the gym, sleeping an extra hour, watch the snow fall or the sun set, time not to be absorbed in the challenge/problem/worries.

Conclusion: Just wanted to say that I can relate in some way to the feelings you expressed in your post, there are parts in me that are angry and frustrated along with you, there’s even the urge to want to smash some people’s heads together, hoping that they will come to their senses—although they too have to make tough choices on many days—and I’m impressed with your hopeful spirit and deep trust in the universe. Nurture that hopeful spirit and believe that people will notice your talent!
Be well!

Ps: grinning about the thought of wanting to keep a secret on the internet, but anyhow: I’m choosing not to tell my current employer about this right now, but I did get an invitation for a first round interview for one of the positions I applied for. Whether that position is a good fit for both sides or not will need to be determined and even if I make it to round 2, for right now, I’m just taking it as a positive wink from the universe. Hoping and praying that you will get them too!

Better than the actors that get jobs and are forced on the general public just because they will "sell" movies. How many of those are there around?

I rarely pay to see a movie anymore, yet, I've watched one of yours many many many times!!!

Yay Paul!

p.s. It would be great if you could be rich and famous and not just famous...I do get that.

:)

Congratulations Paul for your and Andrea's 18th wedding anniversary! You're both lucky to have each other. Congratulations to those other couples in PC who are celebrating their anniversary too. To all the couples, here's to more years to come. Cheers!

I really admire couples who stick together, for not only are you keeping your promise to each other, you are also setting a good example to other couples out there.

I'd also like to reply to Paul's previous posts.
Paul, I guess it could be annoying that journalists/people would assume that if you are in a movie you are "starring" in it, but then again it could also be a compliment. They expect you to be starring in a movie because you're great (or whatever reason they may have). But I agree with one of the posters responses that journalists should do their research first and get their facts straight before they write an article.

Sally's question on the previous post is actually my favourite question to ask to people I know. Who would they want to play them in a movie? And it is really a tough question to answer because someone playing you is a bit too personal.

Who is this English actor you were referring to? Is he more popular than you? Sometimes directors/producers prefer popularity than talent. It's sad but true. It's okay to whinge about these things, because part of being an artist is the desire to share your work out there and if you can't do this, it could get very frustrating. I for one think you are a great actor and deserve good roles. I wish you all the best with your career because you certainly deserve it.

Just curious, what would be your preferred genre, drama, comedy, horror, action, fantasy, musical, etc? Would you mind playing a villain?

Anyway, to get back on topic, Megan Ariells - The "How do I love Thee" poem brings back a lot of memories for me. It is the first poem I've ever read and was forced to memorize and recite in front of a class.

Since this post is about wedding anniversaries, I'd like to share my favourite "Love" quotes.

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn't put there to stay -
Love isn't love
'Til you give it away.
~ Oscar Hammerstein

- - -

Love is no assignment for cowards.
~ Ovid

- - -

Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
~James C. Dobson

- - -

Love is what you've been through with somebody.
~ James Thurber

Paul:
I have just arrived at this site. I had taped the movie "Joseph" probably 5 or 6 years ago from TV. I found the tape the other night while cleaning house. I sat down and watched both parts. Then I ran your name on the internet and found this site. I have nothing to do with acting, directing, or producing. I am just a simple man from Georgia, USA. You have a special talent. A talent that transcends most "run of the mill" actors/actresses today. I only caught part of the ballroom movie so I cannot comment on anything but the Joseph movie. Someone said you spoke with your eyes. And I do believe that. You have been blessed with so much, as I mentioned in my comments on your 18th anniversary post. And, God will bless you with the right career opportunities. Keep being the person you are, taking care of that wonderful family of yours and you will see many good times ahead.

An earlier post of yours caught my attention and I really wanted to comment on it. Hopefully, this comment will not be too long.

You wrote:
"You cannot deny who you are in order to become that which you want to be, think you are or wish to become.
Only by unconditionally embracing who you are - past and present, will you free yourself to move forward - to learn, to know, to discover and to grow into the being you truly are."

I struggled for a long time about "who" I was. I did not fit in with most crowds, in high school, in college, or in life. From 1981(high school graduation) to 1991 I had 13 different jobs. In college, I tried to "fit in" with others. I worried about not being married. (Still single). I never contemplated harming myself, but, for a long time, I thought something was wrong with me. And there was... in a way. I wasn't happy with "who" I was ... as a child... as a teen... as a young adult. I put on a good front to my family and friends, but was unhappy with myself. I think I was in my early 30's when I finally realized... I've been living for everyone else... and not for me. Don't get me wrong... I thoroughly enjoy helping others. But, I cannot help others when I feel myself is broken. So, I finally started looking at myself... what I was in the past... and how it has shaped me to the person I am today. I am much happier now. In 2003, I finished a long awaited Bachelor's degree in Technology Mgt (yes, at the age of 40). Now, I've taken a change of pace, went back to college, and hope to complete a Bachelor's in Elementary Ed by December 2006. I had to come to terms with things in my life that may never be. Only then was I able to be happy with the state I am in and embrace the thought of improving myself in other ways.

I am sorry this is so long. I must write what is on my mind.

Mark.