Paul's Corner

for reference see archives July 07

Hey Paul--actually looked back to your original post from July 2007--sometimes we certainly feel to be all alone, don't we?

I probably mentioned this elsewhere on PC, but while I was growing up, my mother seemed non-existent to me. She had lot to think about with my sister's illness and then my younger brother also needed more attention than I. This left me feeling "alone" especially emotionally.

But you've accomplished alot and realized many successes, and you'll continue doing so. Maybe Uncle Bob has been your driving companion all along, even if only within. Maybe by not answering he gave you the best answer for finding you.

Hang in there Paul! The best is coming to the best (you)!

Hey Paul--actually looked back to your original post from July 2007--sometimes we certainly feel to be all alone, don't we?

I probably mentioned this elsewhere on PC, but while I was growing up, my mother seemed non-existent to me. She had lot to think about with my sister's illness and then my younger brother also needed more attention than I. This left me feeling "alone" especially emotionally.

But you've accomplished alot and realized many successes, and you'll continue doing so. Maybe Uncle Bob has been your driving companion all along, even if only within. Maybe by not answering he gave you the best answer for finding you.

Hang in there Paul! The best is coming to the best (you)!

Sorry for the extra post guys! :)

Do you mean someone who can point the path? Looking at your history, you have always blazed your own path--so there was no one to show you the way, even now.

Or is it someone who can save you when you are tossed around in the waves--where Uncle Bob will be like a helpful hand steadying you in the waves? But you have become a master at conquering the rip.

As someone who was raised by my grandmother, I can relate to wanting to have someone like a father to have guided me through--but other poeple sort of filled in.
I am guessing at what you mean by looking for Uncle Bob so please give me more details. Thanks.

That was a very painful story the fact the he was silent--I gues we will nver know if it was deliberate or he just did not get to answering you; but how alone you must have felt esp after letting him know what you were going through and he never acknowledged what you just told him. It seems that that longing you have carried with you over time. You chose him but he was unavailable to you when you needed him.

Or do you mean being in the same place as you were when you were 15 and feeling the same emotions as intensely now as when you wrote to him back then and did not get an answer? Sorry your post is cryptic and I want to figure it out.

Its not really cryptic - the basic fact is I am still waiting for someone to save me much like I was when I wrote to Uncle Bob. 30 years on and not much has changed!

Perhaps in realising this I will be spurned on to get on with it much as I was when I didnt get an answer from Uncle Bob as you said Melody.

How can I be 30 years older and still have not changed!!! LOL Frightening isnt it??

That event was really crucial as it happened when you were growing up. I see a very young man bravely reaching out to whom you believed was a caring responsible adult only to have to destroy your ideal of him. As children we expect so much or look up to out parents so favorably until they disappoint us with their actions. Truths fly in the face of reality. Why you still feel the same way I can't explain but do understand as the same intense emotions play back to me when I feel I am being abandoned, as it is a key theme for me, or if I admit that I need some one to help me and I am spurned, I get the same feeling.

I am not laughing. I see you see that the same feelings come back with such intensity despite the fact that you have long been your own Uncle Bob, the one who shows you how to shave or raise a family or be an actor. AS has been said--healing, not saving. You have been furiously and brilliantly saving the 15 year old many times over. There seems to be a third person--after the 15 yo, the nonprsent Uncle Bob, there is a third one--you as you are now.

Paul, you have changed and profoundly so: because now you see that brave 15 yo in you as it relives that memory each time. You observe yourlself go through it each time. Sending out your SOS with such sincerity is a mighty prayer and the right persons and circumstances will appear. I trust the universe to listen and sned the equivalent of a skateboard, as it has always for you.

Paul, I think it's absolutely normal, esp. when things are challenging in your life or assumed securities aren't there, that we look for that person to show us the way, to tell us what to do to get where we want to be, but in my own experience, you only rarely get these people who will do just that, because we are resourceful and can get there on our own, although there are people in our lives all the time who encourage us to keep going, to nudge us a bit when we get stuck etc, but I think it's more subtle than the 'booming voice" you must do this to get there.
As tempting as the idea of someone to tell us what to do may be, would you really be happy with yourself if it didn't happen and you didn't figure it out yourself? At least I'd feel less happy with myself if that happened and quite frankly, I don't like it all that much when people tell me what to do :)

Dear sweet Paul,

It is a lonely journey. We are all looking for that soft place to fall. A place where we can find solace and comfort. Whether it is an Uncle Bob or just one dear person who you trust, who has your best interest ay heart. These kind souls are so far and so few between. I think we are to find the strength in our own beings, and not in others. If you find support from someone, that's just the icing on the cake. I have lived in my home alone since my kids left home. I am now in my 50's and have lived alone since about 1995. I mean alone! I haven't even dated! I'm a smart, fairly pretty, progressive woman, but I can't find anyone I feel I can trust. I guess I have gotten used to it. I do have a higher anxiety than any of my friends and if I'm not careful, normal emergencies become huge to me! Life doesn't frighten me though. I enjoy my job of the last 10 years in a large company. I have a stressful but respected position. I have a couple of good friends, but as far as the Uncle Bob's...or any other blood relative, it's non existent. They all expect me to do better, be stronger, have more financial security, get a life...you name it. It's not there for sure. Yeah, they love me and say they want what's best for me, but not one of them would or could be there for me if I needed it. They don't even live in the same state as me. I am alone pretty much. Paul, you do have your girls and beautiful wife. I know as a man, you think you need to be the strongest and the bread winner...but remember, marriage says, for better or for worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health. At least you are still married! Hold on to that family! You'll be on top again. Don't you worry!!! Have faith that the universe is going to be kind to you and is waiting to give that guidance that you are looking so desperately for. It's there! I know you're not moping, you're just expressing your fears to a group of people you and we are so very fortunate to know and trust. We love you and WE have so much faith in you. You're heart and soul are stronger than you realize. Or maybe you do realize and it's just a moment of stress you are once again passing though. This to shall pass! If we were all in the same room the "group hug" could be too much for us to deal with!!!

Kisse, hugs (squeezes), comfort, strength, faith, joy, peace, humor and most of all patience!!! All of this I am sending to you and your family.

BE STRONG!

Paul, it really isn't all that frightening to think that in 30 years you haven't changed. Some people go their entire lives (meaning far more than 30 years) without ever changing. Despite the fact that you feel as though you are still looking for Uncle Bob, in my opinion you've come a long way in 30 years. I believe it's only human to feel the need to have someone help us out from time to time, and when that person doesn't - yes, it's crushing. But the thing that shows our strength is when we continue to persevere even when "Uncle Bob" doesn't come to our rescue. Keep moving forward. Good things will come.

(I was trying to think of something deep or reassuring to say but can only feel the sadness that you feel. The writing I had below seems like cheerleading and hollow. All I can say now is I see how you are suffering and that you care very much not for yourself but for your family. I feel that what just happened was unjust and does not seem to make sense.)
This is a repost: my original one got lost for some reason.

Reading your post 7/07 you have a definite idea of this Uncle Bob: he is someone who shares your creative passion but also knows the ins and out of showbiz. He or she is very knowledgeable and can come up with creative yet real solutions. He may get you the skateboard but this is not as important as saving what you are losing--which is? Let us try put a casting call to the universe and see who shows up. I trust he or she is already on the way.

Paul, I think we all have wanted that "Uncle Bob" to come through for us. I understand. In years that follow, the ripples of that failure return and hurt us again.

But know this: You are not alone. We stand with you.

Paul,

Originally I didn't want to post this on the blog and maybe Cat did send you the pack in the mail from me earlier this year. I have been attempting to write a full first episode of a TV series idea, of a romantic comedy mystery series, and one of the main characters the part would fit you like a glove. Since my original draft that I sent off earlier this year I have worked on it extensively, made improvements, and added a few more things. I still haven't completed it since I had to put it aside for a few months now but If you would like me to send it to Cat once more I can do so or if you would like me to send it to your agent directly you can have him/ner e-mail me at chancellor_1_2000@yahoo.com.

Anything is worth a try.

Paul all the best to you and your family as always.

Julie

Hi Paul! You find the uncle Bob! You'll find the way. Have faith, perseverance, which will give all right! You have a beautiful wife and beautiful daughters, we support them and that friends PCS.

Liz: remember that time you asked for the address of the site of Mercurio's Menu? Have talk with the producer and he sent me four of the programme DVDS! We are delighted, they are beautiful! We are grateful for your tip! Health!

We all have a need for Uncle Bob to save us. My parents divorced when I was 12 and my father, though in the same city, was not there for much of my growing up from that point until I was 25. In retrospect, I think a lot of the choices I made with my life were based on my need to feel like he was in my life. He had a heart attack when I was 15 and I made the decision to become a nurse. I did not date in college because I wanted to be able to be independent and never have to rely on a husband to support me as I watched my mom struggle to make ends meet when I was a child. There are more examples, but I won't go on about myself. I donated a kidney to my sister when I was 25 and for the first time in a long time, and in giving of myself in such a way, I found alot of strength and finally freed myself from feeling like I needed his approval and support. After that, I forgave him. I never told him how I felt, but finally developed a good relationship with him. Look back at all your accomplishments-there are so many great ones. Have they yielded good results for you? You can be your own Uncle Bob, you just don't realize it. You have greatness in you! You've inspired so many already. I hope only the best for you.
Jill

Thank you Jill for your inspiring story and yes you are right it is about being my own Uncle Bob as I have done for years. Sometimes you get tired of that and just want the easy way, want Uncle Bob to step in and save the day, but I am happy to know that I have been Uncle Bob to myself and will continue to do so. It never gets any easier which is the bummer of it but it is the only way to go. The fact I am questioning it and the journey is a good thing as it steels my resolve and determination I just need to work out the direction I should be taking and how the heck I am supposed to get there!

Bravo, Paul!

Paul aka Uncle Bob, you are the greatest! I hope you are not shucking live oysters and eating them straight from the sea so you won't get sick. Sending you and your family best wishes.

Jill,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I think we all have a story which somehow defines us in our lives. From these events we end up on a path, sometimes by choice, and sometimes unaware that we have begun on that path. At my age I can say, that in our unawareness, sometimes it takes years to realize the journey we are on and changing the direction from this point sometimes seems so daunting. The road back to where we started seems so far away and taking an entirely new direction sometimes does not seem possible. The fact that we are all in the middle of our paths and discussing whether or not we are heading in the right direction, is really a blessing. We're so fortunate to have a place to vent our frustrations, fears AND inspirations.

Thank you Paul and Cat!

Jill--thanks for sharing your story with us.

Our experiences during our youth certainly pave the way for us. I guess it's in the collective experience and what we do with it that determines how rocky or smooth the path becomes. And then there's the inevitable "fork" in the road or just having to move forward, even when we're unsure.

Maybe "Uncle Bob" is our personal compass??

Hey Paul,
Maybe you don't have to work out the direction you should be taking and how the heck you are supposed to get there. Maybe you just need to start visualising past that to the end point, how you want things to be in your life, imagine how you'll be feeling when you are living your perfect life and let the universe take care of the details like 'how' it comes to pass. It really works. Otherwise you limit your possibilities to only that which 'you' know is possible but hey, the universe has way more possibilties, things you've never dreamed of. A great thing to do, but I warn you, it's powerful, is to create a vision statement - check out Malcolm Cohen's very quick little video on youtube http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=5oIQHsj5xIQ I warn you though, like the song, don't wish too hard for what you want cause you might get it . . . . Make sure you wish for what you want to manifest, because it will! Have fun creating your dream vision and then let it go and see what happens. Lena

Maria Horos, so you were able to watch Mercurio's Menu bec the producer sent you DVDs of the show? Like we can just ask him for the DVDs? That sounds unreal. Did you just write him and ask for it? Can you post a clip here for the PCs?

Maria Horos, so you were able to watch Mercurio's Menu bec the producer sent you DVDs of the show? Like we can just ask him for the DVDs? That sounds unreal. Did you just write him and ask for it? Can you post a clip here for the PCs?

Maria Horos, so you were able to watch Mercurio's Menu bec the producer sent you DVDs of the show? Like we can just ask him for the DVDs? That sounds unreal. Did you just write him and ask for it? Can you post a clip here for the PCs?

I am very sorry for the multiple posts; can we delete the extra ones? Thanks.

Hi all,

Today is my 34th birthday and woke up this morning not wanting to get out of bed for some reason. It should be a week-end to look foward to. This year I decided to have a party, its been years since my husband and I have had an actually party for either of our birthdays.

I decided that instead of recieving a bunch of stuff that I really don't need this year (please no more scented candles) I decided to do a fundraiser for the Born Free Foundation's Big Cat Rescue which all proceeds will be going to help the preservation of Lions and Tigers and rescue them from zoos around the world. In order to raise money for the cause I'm doing a raffle and giving away some prizes. At my work there's been little enthusiasm but my husband has been wonderful and started selling raffle tickets at his work and so far he's been successful.

I have much to be thankful for. I have two degrees (that I have done nothing with but I have them), a husband who's supportive and never lets me down and comes home with a smile after working 50 hours a week. I have a job that pays the bills and plenty of free time to work on what "I really want to do" in life.

I think the last part is why I didn't want to get out of bed, not wanting to face dissapointment. Its been a slow process but this morning I am sending out a freelance article to the local newspaper that I completed yesterday, a food article, that may be considered for publication who knows it will be my first published article in a large circulation if it is considered. Hopefully they'll allow me to do the photography for this article as well.

Work just called in...good day to all!

Julie

Happy Birthday, Julie!!!
I see that you are at a stop, not much different from when Paul was saying I am looking for Uncle
Bob, just like Melody was saying Uncle Bob is your inner compass. I guess with special days or at very difficult times, this compass goes crazy and it has to be reset. You are a very talented woman and show a lot of caring esp for animals. Can you share your article here if there are no copyright issues? May you find your Uncle Bob and Paul too.

Happy Birthday, Julie!

Dear Julie,

Happy Birthday...only 34th years old? A mere child! (That's what they said to me on my last birthday (75), for the median age around here is getting to be 80+).

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Happy Birthday Julie!

I think birthdays always disappoint because each year we expect to be so much further than we seem to perceive that we are. I think the journey is sometimes moving at such a pace that we don't realize we ARE truly progressing. It's just that our perceptions get in the way. Enjoy a day in bed if you feel like it! Oh, the day is almost over. Well, anyway, you know what I mean. ;) I predict you will have a year of growth! How can I be wrong? lol.

Happy Happy Birthday and good luck with your article!!

Happy birthday, Julie. (Ok, so technically I'm a day late.) I think your idea for the raffle is brilliant. Why can't I ever come up with ideas like that? Oh yeah, because part of my family are real #*)!%@$& when it comes to stuff like that. I figured I'd be polite and not speak my mind on that one. LOL I'd be happy to make a donation as well if you want to forward along the info to my email: katsmig@mindspring.com. :o)

This past week has been odd for me. My sleep patters are completely out of whack. Last night I went to bed around 2:00a (which is becoming the norm) but didn't fall asleep until after 5:00a! Admittedly I did have something on my mind last night, that came to me just as I was going to bed. But it was something I didn't want to lose, however I didn't really want to lose sleep over it either. LOL

I'm starting to feel a bit guilty regarding my job. I decided weeks ago that I won't be returning after my leave of absence, but I've not mentioned it at all because I don't want them to fire me before that time is up. I need them to pay their portion of my benefits (health insurance, etc) as long as possible. But I'm required to call my supervisor every week to check in and advise if I think my plans are changing. Thank goodness I didn't have to lie to him today because he never asked me if I was getting everything wrapped up and taken care of. I still feel like a heel though. :o(

Sorry to ramble on. I don't have too many people locally I can talk to about it as most of my friends work with me. LOL I hope everyone enjoys a lovely weekend.

Thank you all for your birthday wishes?

I agree that I need to think of progress made rather than what has not been reached.

And Millie made me think of another thing, I need to celebrate my youth, like Millie, a little bit more. I need to take some lessons from my Uncle George who is 90 years old and is still celebrating his youth. I wrote about him recently on my blog...

http://weblog.xanga.com/JAC297/671856255/uncle-george.html

Guy and David are coming to the party tonight...they haven't stopped celebrating their youth since the seventies. Lol

All my best to all of you and thank you!

Julie

Have a great bday party Julie! There are many great uncles, Uncle Bob and now Uncle George.
Still wishing that Paul will be in the DWTS and that all that has happened was a ruse to startle the audience. The guys at Seven never replied to my letter. :(

Maybe they chose you Paul for Mercurio's Menu exclusively as the shooting conflicts with DWTS.

Have a great Labor Day wkend! Best Wishes to you and your family, Paul!

Paul,

Did your Uncle get the letter? It wouldn't be the first time in history that a heart-felt letter had not been answered, because it never got there in the first place.

Or maybe he did get it, and chose not to answer it. Perhaps he knew that if he did, then you would start to trust him more, and yourself less, to the point of unhealthiness?

Is it really "Uncle Bob" you are still looking for?

I left school with only one close friend who went to the UK when we were both 19, to live her dreams. On the second day, in her dream job, the horse she had been riding, returned riderless. She had ridden up over a hill, and not seen a branch of an oak tree which took her off the horse. She died instantly of a broken neck.

We had relied on one another, perhaps unhealthily. Over the years I have developed many more "friends", as have you without a doubt. I've discovered that essentially, I am "alone"; I live in my own head; I alone know and feel my body, and when I get sick, I know that it's up to me.

You have said you are a nomad. With the upbringing that you had, that's bound to lead to a physical "programming" akin to itching powder. :) I know. BTDT.

Those of us with rents in our childhood want to be "content" but are scared that that might land us up in a rut.

Perhaps we want to make a difference, but not at the cost of losing the previously hard earned opinions of those who now think highly of us. Sometimes our success can actually trap us in inertia. It's a tough balancing act, and we want someone to show us the true path we should be taking; the one that we hope won't make fools of us.

Then sometimes, with death staring you in the face such as when we faced up to what looked likely to be the death of our son from internal bleeding...) the question of what eternity is, comes up, and the implications of that, for our child, ourselves, the family...and those things put "today" into sharp focus, because happiness tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Even the most successful (in the eyes of people who aren't so "successful") sometimes feel there has to be more to feel, inside themselves, than life, day by day, which sometimes feels inconsequential in the bigger picture.

"There has to be more...!!! " (screeammm. :-) ) Perhaps you want to change something in the world, just as Copernicus, or Marconi did? If that involves changing a world view, which relies on dogma of status quo, for respectability, status and security, that can be pretty difficult.

You talk about living life by not being scared. for some people their status and reputation locks them into a life they don't want to live. "Fear" of losing the praise of others defines their steps.

Being different always involves overcoming fear of some sort.

Maybe, you're seeking the wrong uncle, or asking the wrong questions of the wrong person?

Everyone has these moments, as others have said here... it's the nature of life.

In the meantime my only advice would be, if it doesn't feel right, don't do it; keep no emotional debts; never let the sun go down and leave any argument unresolved; listen to God's voice inside and trust it.

And I suspect that you know all of this yourself anyway.

Seek with all your heart, and in total honesty, and you will find the answer.

Dear Paul,

I just spoke to Tara and she informed me that
"My Biggest Fan" is slated to be shown on the SBS
TV Network of Australia on Friday night, November 7th, 2008,7:30 p.m.

That is certainly prime time; I am sure that hopefully, many will see it, for that network goes out to millions of people in Australia.

You are prominently mentioned in the documentary, because my relationship with Tara started because of "Strictly Ballroom", when I wrote her my first ever fan letter after screening it during my movie
night here in Wynmoor.

My audience of seniors was enthralled and uplifted, because it was the night of 9/11/2001, a date that lives in infamy.

"My Biggest Fan" has just been accepted by the Ft. Lauderdale Film Festival (Florida) and will be shown in October...that's just for starters, I was informed.

Also, a teacher's guide for MBF has been prepared for the teachers of 40,000 senior high school students in Australia. (I think I mentioned that before...)

The teachers will show "My Biggest Fan" and using the guide, discuss relevant topics related to it,
and "Strictly Ballroom" which has been shown in
the Australian high schools for years.

Paul, perhaps with your name and your talent once again out there, Uncle Bob can take a hike!

Shalom and love,

Grandma

I am somewhat in a daze these past few months and have wandered into this site; In a way looking for something, in a way escaping from my day to day world. Thanks, Hilary for your note to Paul. Well it got me thinking, the inertia of our own past even if it is good can trap us. It may take a dogmatic shift to lift the inertia that has had me stuck. And yes for guidance, asking the wrong question of the wrong person--that is so fundamental. Yes that has started me thinking and search with my own knowing. Still daze and confused but I am starting to see a little. Thanks Paul. Your search and others's thoughts help me a lot.

Liz, every one of us is special; every one of us has an untold story. Everyone of us has a mission. Every one of us has special gifts which can be unconvered, but just sometimes, life locks us into humdrum thinking which subsumes our passion, and we get stuck in a rut. That's happened to me too.

We ALL have spells of dryness, which I think are important to goad us into clarifying.... what's next?

The question is, who we ask, and who we listen to. Sometimes listening to others means we miss the important voice and we are no longer true to ourselves.

My husband wrote something for his blog recently, which I think speaks to this. I dont' want to put a link, so I'll copy his thoughts, because they might help you.

He is 22 years older than me, and his first wife was killed in the Erebus crash in 1979, so and you can imagine what my parents had to say about this match!!! He's had enough grief and drama in his life to write many films about, but no-one knows who he is - but he knows how to think outside the square. Here are his thoughts:

___________________________________

The answer, My friend, is ....?

Perhaps you are familiar with the Bob Dylan song “Blowin’ in the Wind”? In it, nine questions are asked – questions which are as relevant today as they were when the song was written. For example,

How many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry?
How many deaths will it take till he knows that too many people have died?
How many years can some people exist before they’re allowed to be free?
How many times can a man turn his head pretending he just doesn’t see?

But there are hundreds of questions that could be added. A few years ago, I rewrote the song asking some of my own, but it is the refrain that set me thinking.

“The answers my friend are blowin; in the wind;
The answers are blowin’ in the wind.”

This business of answers blowing in the wind – it’s airy fairy stuff isn’t it?

Well anything to do with wind is airy alright. But it would only be fairy-like if we took things literally and rushed outside to grab the latest words of wisdom on leaves blowing past our doors or our windows; or expected some mystery messages on pieces of paper to fall into our laps.

Let’s forget about science books and encyclopaedias. What is wind? Very simply it’s moving air; that substance we live in, and breathe in, and move in, all the time – or most of the time anyway! It can influence our moods and affect what we do. It can be a gentle breeze or a howling gale. It’s invisible, but not so its effects. Smoky hair and smarting eyes when we burn some rubbish or sit around a fire are real enough. It stirs things up, like when we’ve got that pile of bits and pieces all ready to deal with. It’s strong as we soon find out when driving along the road and we get side-swiped by a sudden gust. It’s got the power to drive a turbine and the ability to dry the washing. We name it according to where it comes from.

It can destroy if we’re unprepared. We can get caught out if we fail to heed warning signs. It gets rid of staleness and stuffiness. It’s refreshing.

Of course if we don’t like wind then we can always shut ourselves away from it.

If the wind is going to be any use to me, I have to acknowledge its existence even if I don’t understand its mysteries. I also need to identify it by name (the source) and use its power and direction to meet my needs. I have to expose myself to it. But if I choose the wrong wind it can harm or even destroy me.

Put all these things together – the invisibles, the intangibles, the stirrings, the power, the reality, and so on, and this airy-fairy stuff will help us find answers to many of life’s questions. Let me recount a few of my experiences to illustrate what I mean – things that blow in the wind!

I heard the noise. A sort of flapping and cracking sound. Couldn’t make out where it was coming from.

It sounded close though.

Then I saw it. Almost above me, like a bird ducking and diving. Up and down in the wind. Fighting, struggling to get away, but not succeeding.

It was a kite.

One of those dart-shaped things with no tail and made of brightly coloured plastic material. But there didn’t seem to be anyone around who was flying it.

No sign of any string. It was as if a living thing was playing around up in the sky all on its own having a wonderful time. I watched, fascinated and puzzled.

How could this be happening?

There must be an answer.

And there was…

Out of the long grass in the paddock on the other side of the fence, I suddenly saw two arms sticking up, and they waved around so that the kite dived and soared to the left and right, up and down. It was like watching the hands of a body-less conductor in total control of the players performing above me.

But what was the means of communication? How were they connected?

By straining my eyes, and with the help of the sunlight and background colours, I caught the glimmer of two nylon strings.

Lying on his back, hidden in the grass, the “conductor” was having a marvellous time. No neck strain (like I was suffering), just working the controls of a well designed kite and allowing the wind to bring it all to life.

What a contrast to my kite flying days!

Brown paper, sticks, glue and string, newspaper and old stockings for the tail. You had to get the measurements right, and the string attached to the right place. How long should the tail be? When everything was put together and the wind was right, you had to find a wide open place away from the trees and power lines. You then had to get it up in the air, usually with someone else to hold it up and not stand on the tail, while you practiced a hundred yards sprint, running backwards. And just when you thought everything was going great, and the kite was up in the sky and the tugs on the line gave you a real thrill, down it would come at breakneck speed and nose dive into the ground.

Chances were that major repairs would be necessary as well as time consuming jobs of untangling the tail and rewinding the string which somehow had become a knotted mess.

When all the trial and error was over, and the mechanics had been mastered, and the kite was flying almost out of sight, and there was no more fishing line to unwind, you could really appreciate the skill and strength needed to do battle with the wind.

Kite making and flying are experiences which can make quite an impression on our minds.

You know, we all fly a “kite” from time to time.

Why? Of what substance is it?

If it gets off the “ground” how well does it fly?

Who’s really pulling the strings? Is it showy and noisy, or dignified and stable? What impact will it make on others?

The answer my friends will be blowing in the wind. Maybe more like hot-air balloons caught up in the shifting winds of new ideas, political correctness and weasel speak – lies and distortions of the truth. On such winds the string-pulling conductor can easily dazzle, bewilder, delude and deceive.

Do we want to be flying a “kite” in such winds?

Maybe you will be able to identify with this next little story!!

It was one of those dry gusty, dust-get-in-your-eyes days. The main street of the town was like a wind tunnel. Not the easiest of conditions for shoppers. A hang-on-to-your hat day.

A mini whirlwind whipped up some leaves and an assortment of litter. Ducking into doorways helped to provide an escape from the unpleasant vagaries of the wind. For those diving out there was an instant reminder not to indulge in a street stroll or the false economics of window shopping.

Then it happened.

Bowling down the footpath like a spiky Spinifex seed-head came a piece of paper. It lacked the grace of the tumbleweed though. As the angular object touched the pavement or rebounded from obstacles in its path, it assumed a jerky, erratic course. In hot pursuit came a rather portly male, who obviously had an interest in regaining control of that flying object. He was gaining on it. There was a purposeful glint in his eye. If only that piece of paper would lie down; be still; submit; die!!!

PPP (Precious Piece of Paper) reached an intersection. Here it was sucked up into the air where it ducked and dived in new found freedom and space.

The FFF (Fleet of Foot Fellow) was now frantic. Should he throw caution to the winds and try to dodge the traffic? The air current paused for breath and PPP dropped to the ground. FFF filled his lungs and took the plunge. Determined to reach PPP, side stepping pedestrians, ignoring cars and the honking of horns, FFF pounced. With a tantalizing, teasing flutter PPP slid sideways. FFF’s outstretched hands failed to make contact. Recovering his balance, he again zoomed in on his target, but like a hovercraft, PPP glided under a stationary car. By this time there was quite a gathering of amused spectators. Spurred on by shouts of encouragement and a few hoots of laughter, FFF got down on hands and knees and peered under the vehicle. PPP was out of reach. Round to the other side, but too late. PPP was on it’s way again, and the merry chase continued.

No doubt with the help of some thoroughly entertained and sympathetic onlookers the FFF was finally reunited with his PPP.

Not so long ago, I was in my own back yard. All alone as far as I know. (I certainly hope so!) I had both hands and arms full of various things I had picked up. A mixture of articles to be taken inside and put away, as well as some rubbish to go in the wheelie bin, with it’s lid that had to be opened. The juggling act began as I tried to deposit the “throw aways” from the “to keeps” without letting go of anything! The results? Things got dropped where they shouldn’t have. The wind took over. Paper and plastic bits and pieces flew everywhere.

“Blow!” I muttered. (A most inappropriate expletive.) I gave chase. If FFF’s antics had been funny, mine were ridiculous and hilarious. I blush at the thought of it. With no hands free I could only use my feet. Creep up on each piece of rubbish and stamp on it. Every time I was sure of success, a little eddy of air would waft away the offending article. It happened over and over again. I was behaving like a demented ballet danger in clodhoppers. The more frenetic I became the wilder my stomps.

And I got mad!

Here I was behaving like a fool. Fortunately, there wasn’t anyone around, to laugh at me. No need for face-saving posturings. No need to justify my inefficiency and stubbornness. Why didn’t I use some good, old-fashioned common sense and calmly free up my hands and return to pick up what I’d dropped? Or better still make several trips instead of trying to do it all in one? When would I learn the wisdom of “more haste, less speed”? When would FFF and I (and lots of others) learn that there are many times when we are not really in control of the circumstances and situations that we find ourselves in? And yet irrational behaviour continues. Can we remain calm, when that which surrounds us wants to ruffle our ever so prim and proper feathers?

The answers my friends may well be found in the blowings of the wind!!

I often chuckle to myself when I think about that back-yard episode. Do I use that good old fashioned common sense with which I admonished myself?

No, I have not yet learned my lesson and so often the wind tests me. I know what I should do, but I don’t do it.

How often we try to do more and more with “hands” that are already so full, but instead we waste time because of over-commitment, frustration and stubbornness.

God knows. He sees! He must have a few quiet laughs. Or maybe He shakes His head rather sadly.

Every day we are all exposed to many “winds” that will have an effect on us. The winds of change, of adversity, of fashion, of public opinion, of chance, of convention and conformity, to name but a few.

The answers my friends, to so many situations and circumstances, are blowin’ in the “wind”!!! It’s amazing how much you can learn when you come out of the mould into fresh moving air!

I felt the winds of my Lord today –
So fresh I know they are real.
Yes, an’ loudly and clearly I hear them say:
‘The road for you I’ll reveal;
For I know the best way and I’ve walked it Myself,
So go in My power, and zeal.’

The answer my friend is who you listen to.
The answer will be for you.”

I call it the winds of the Spirit.

Thanks for sharing the file, but bec of its size can not access easily; may be better to place as a separate file or as a link. Thanks.

I did something good for me today! I adopted a new cat this afternoon, didn't plan it, just followed my instincts and went to the humane society and there she was, MY new cat--yet to be named. she has the name Gypsie, but I don't like it so much, so we will find a new name for her. Getting a new cat is very much part of my process of healing right now (remember in April I got dumped by the boyfriend and 2 1/2 days later I had to put my dear first cat down and I felt so torn apart and lost) I've struggled so much with sadness and pain in the last few months, done a lot of healing in the last month and a half in particular and today, I took that step to push through another layer of loss and allowing a cat back into my life. I really was nervous when I drove to the Humane Society, not sure if I was ready to open up that way, but when I was there, I got really excited, esp. when I saw my cat. They took a picture of me and kitty before leaving and put that on the outside of the folder with materials. When I got home, I was struck by the joy in my eyes in that picture, that special sparkle that people had commented on in the pictures of me when I dated Jim that they hadn't seen before. It was nice for me to see that and I take it as a good sign.

Back to contemplating a good and fitting name for my new cat who just makes me smile! Love the purr and when she rubs her face against my legs or when she rolls around on the floor with her catnip filled pillow, too funny! :)

How is it like to have a cat? I have been thinking about going to the shelter to get one but worry about the long hours away, as I spend 12 to 14 hours typically in the office or may be called away in an emergency. How does the cat handle that? I read in the Tolle bk that cats really live in the NOW and therefore do not have a concept of time and if you ask a cat what time it is, it would say, NOW of course. So it does not suffer from longing or the pain of waiting as it only lives in the now. So how has it been for you and your cat, Evelyn?

Liz - okay (re the link) but it didn't feel right to link, so I won't.

Cats do have a concept of time. I've had cats all my life until two years ago, when our last cat died at the age of 15. Whenever I went out by myself, he would do his normal things, until 10 minutes before I would get home. My husband got to know that when Basil (so called because of the huge bushy tail) would ask to be let out, and go and sit by one particular corner of the house where he could see the car turn into the drive, exactly 10 minutes later I would arrive home.

Whenever we were out together, he would still be waiting at the same corner of the house when we arrived back, so he knew when we were coming home.

We also had another cat. I was out demonstrating an embroidery technique and half way through had this feeling something was wrong. I noted the time. Just before I left, I rang home, and at exactly that time, Hoppy had been hit by a car, and was at the vets. Three years later, she was killed by a dog, and though we didn't see it happen, I knew something bad had happened. We went straight out into the night with torches, and found her body. She had been killed instantly, yet I still knew.

So there can be a connection both ways that can't be explained by living in the now. Experts dont' know everything.

Happy Belated Birthday, Julie! Good luck on printing your article and photos, too.

Grandma Mil, your news was very exciting! I know you can't wait for the end of the month. My heart would be bursting at the seams!

Evelyn, congratulations on your new cat. They can be wonderful friends. And based on Hilary's comments, they certainly know what's up before we do!

Years ago my very dear Samantha would know when my (now ex) fiance would be coming to the door. Her ears would point up and she'd run over to the door and he would be at the door about 5 minutes later. And many times before he'd call, she'd meow--then the phone would ring seconds later.

Off our topics--my niece turns sweet sixteen today. Where has time gone?!

Hilary, thank you so much for the thoughts written by your husband. What wonderful pictures of wind, and what talented use of words to paint fabulous pictures! He certainly has a gift.

I'm in a bit of a 'spot' right now, and certainly appreciate what you pasted for us. Who am I listening to? I want to poll my friends, but who is to say their opinions and counsel are correct? There is really only One anyway. Thank you for the reminder.

Julie a rather late but happy birthday wish to you!!!

Hilary congrats on probably posting the longest post ever!! And thankyou for your husbands story I enjoyed reading it and will enjoy thinking on it over the next few days.

The problem with experts is we want them to know everything and are dissapointed to find they generally know marginally more than we do OR they know a lot of rather useless information unless of course you are an expert in which case knowing said useless information is important so as to be able to claim that one is an expert.

I love to sit on the cliff and look out over the vast ocean and let my imagination be carried off by the wind - whilst my body is buffeted my soul is free to be blown where the wind wills.

I sometimes tell my brother that not everyone lives theirs lives according to what he feels is correct. He feels quite certain that he IS in fact correct. I tease him and say, "the world according to Garp". His name is George....close. lol

Each finds their own drummer and lives life according to the path they were meant to beat. Funny...drummer and path..both are beaten to each individual's own choice and what is right for them, whether it is (actually) right or not.

I wish we would all stop trying to define not only our own but others lives.

Don't mean to be poo pooing our deep conversations but sometimes I wonder if we are just spinning our wheels.

Guess I need another cup of coffee and to adjust my attitude this morning. lol

Hello everyone,

The fundraiser/birthday party went well I managed to raise $420 for the Born Free foundation's Shamwari Lion santuary and rehabiliation center.

I think my husband's loaded Sangria did the trick to up the donations ;) Something about booze that opens wallets lol.

Thank you all for your birthday wishes and Hillary when have more time I will read your story hopefully later today.

Millie I promise I'll call soon!

Julie

Paul,

longest post ever :grin: That's what happens when you cut and paste your spouse's thoughts :blush:

You are a thinker. All thinkers I know, love the sea, or mountains... I love the ocean as well, but am more partial to the sound of waves running up the beach and the birds, than wind, which can burn my ears :lol:

What is an expert Paul?

An Ex-spurt?

Often, what an expert spurts today, .... in less than five years time, they will tell you is bollocks.

Take the injury record of New Zealand cricket. Our son played for New Zealand cricket for four years, and in that time, they changed their expert coaching of fast bowlers three times. By the end of that time he had two back fractures and Shane Bond was scheduled for his third back surgery. Hmm......

So I have "issues" with what constitutes expertism/dogma/status/quo/"fact", in many areas of life :)

Mary S. I have spent time spinning wheels too, but accept it was my fault for failing to figure out quickly enough, the correct branches and sacking to put under the tyres to get out the hole. I was looking to other people opinions for the answers, which undermined my confidence in myself, and my ability to move forward.

I found listening to other people's opinions was like driving a car looking in the rear vision mirror. I was looking everywhere but forward. After all, if your friends opinions/solutions don't work, where do you look for the solutions for those failures?

It took a while for me to approach my spinning wheels in terms of... this problem is a solution in disguise, and the answer is there if I search for it, and trust myself.

In terms of thinking, my father was a marine biologist, and it was no fluke that his favourite saying was that, "Only dead fish go with the flow". He hated it when everyone in the room agreed during a discussion. He used to say, "So which person here is temporarily brain dead?"

:)

The world would be boring if we all thought the same.

Paul, Mary S's comments about spinning wheels, and you looking for Uncle Bob, got me thinking.

Sharing this might be helpful.

As I mentioned my husband's first wife was killed in the Erebus crash in Antartica. When we first became joined-at-the-hip, I had been working for an Australian mining company for about a year, and had taken it from a tiny tin pot outpost, to a much larger profitable outfit. It was nothing for me to be signing cheques for a million dollars.

I was everyman's very willing and enthusiastic happy gopher with multiple strings to my bow of boundless energy. In that year, I had had four pay rises. Not huge ones, but enough to keep me interested.

Then came my husband. The mining management wasn't happy, because they had decided they wanted me at one of their much bigger American outfits. My husband wanted me to stay put. Management wanted me to go there. What to do and why?... was the dilemma and my wheels spun for weeks.

My husband has always been one to believe that everyone has to make their own choices, so he wasn't going to push me. He was confident that something would show me the right path to take. He is a true lover, "partner" and husband.

One day management called us both into head office, to try to convince us to shift. They pleaded, cajolled, offerred us this, than and the other, but always the bottom line was that their needs came first.

Then suddenly the head honcho got really exasperated, and made a comment I will never forget which cleared my thinking in a big way: "Hilary, you have to realise you are married to XXXXXXX first, and your own dreams come last."

Much to management's horror, I instantly went over to a typewriter and typed out my resignation. I went over the the photocopier, copied it, made my boss date and sign both his copy and mine... More cajolery and multiple pleadings followed. They ramped up the best of their charms and most persuasive "baubles" they could offer ..., but I knew I could not stay there. I... just... knew.

After I left they replaced me with seven people who had a combined salary 9 times mine. Later, I found out that those 7 people never achieved the efficiency I had, because all my hands knew what each other was doing, from the ground up.

Looking back, I feel thatI had become a means to the building of their dreams, at a huge cost to my own. And cheap at the price.

That was when I learned that "management" of the life that my husband and I must fashion, with grown young men who occasionally meld with our spinning axis, is ours alone, not the needs of others who would seek to use us.

So....what can "Uncle Bob" tell you about your dreams now, and how to achieve them?

"After all, if your friends opinions/solutions don't work, where do you look for the solutions for those failures?
this problem is a solution in disguise, and the answer is there if I search for it, and trust myself."

There is virtually no more to say on this subject.

Hillary, and ALL of us, have the answers within us and outside of us, in the universe. All we need do is to hear them.

I do refer to the Universe quite often, as if this is the soft Mother where all the answers lie. It's a vast and elusive nurturing area though, and getting there is difficult, isn't it?

I think I used to have the distinction of longest PC post. I gladly relinquish that one to Hillary. :)

Interesting read and lots of food for thought here.

Thank you, Hilary. There is much to chew on.

Hilary, I've enjoyed reading your posts. They have been thought-provoking, and your last one (regarding the job you resigned from) actually reminds me a bit of my current frame of mind.

Julie, I'm happy to learn of your fund-raising success. I still plan to make a donation; I just haven't had the chance yet. :o)

Grandma Mil, excellent news regarding MBF. :o)

I'm knee deep in plans for my Montréal trip the end of this month. Then I will head down to FL for a bit to start probate on my father's estate. I hope while I'm there to see my friend Susie (the one with cancer). She's received less than positive news, so I'd really like to visit with her. We are doing our best to remain hopeful and positive though.

I hope everyone is well.

Sarah, I read your post on your Dad, and have a hug.

My father died in January (95), but it really was his time to go. He was glad to leave, and looked forward to better things. Doing his probate brought me back a lot of good memories, so hope you can concentrate on those as well. Best wishes to your sister.

Sarah, I think you are wonderful for remaining loyal to Susie. So many shy away from such a difficult situation.

My sister's ct scan of her lungs will be on 9/12. This will tell us whether the two, five day hospital treatments of interluken are working or not. Please keep her and Susie and all suffering and battling cancer, in your kind thoughts.

Fall is approaching here in the Rockies! I hope the weather in the hurricane states begins to settle down soon.

Been glued to CNN non stop between the hurricanes and the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. Very serious focus going on for me.

Paul,

Just read your rip analogy. You mention you were about to be swamped by a tsunami, and would be fighting for yourself and your family.

I hope it was just a knee high tiddler.... {{{P,A,E,E,E.}}}

Dear Sarah and MaryS,

Ellie has Susie and Rebecca on his prayer list every Saturday; hoping that Rebecca receives good news soon, Mary.

We here in Florida are waiting for "Ike", the hurricane. All the others that have gone before in the past week pale in comparison to this one!

In 22 days, Tara Morice and her daughter, Ondine,
are due to to arrive, hopefully, after all hurricanes have left.

MBF has been accepted by the Ft. Lauderdale
International Film Festival for screening in October, and will be shown on the Australian SBS TV Network on November 7th, 7:30 p.m.

Are we excited? To tell the truth, I think I am getting spastic with anticipation!

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Uncle Bob,
Treetops,
Your backyard.

Dear Paul,

I’m sorry I didn’t answer your letter years ago, but from the age your asked your mother if you could dance, you knew where you felt the beat. You say:

**I am sad for I am a man who has lost his music
My life is empty where once it was vibrant
Rythym lies beneath the silence
Ready to soar to its natural note
But remains voiceless….

For it is the music in ones heart
That beats out the metre to ones journey…

And with a knowing that only comes
When one reclaims his music.**

What has your “music” always been Paul?

You are a doer. Sure, doers can teach and doers can judge. Doers can make beer and salami, but what is “your” deepest innermost music Paul?

I watched you as you said to Norm Hewitt, “Thank you for giving us blokes permission to dance.”

Just a thought Paul, but have you given yourself permission to dance lately?

I’m just wondering Paul, but instead of pumping pecs in the gym, maybe you and Andrea should be working out together and with your girls, teaching them, while you reclaim your music?

I know you are pissed at Channel 7 for dropping your from their DWTS, but here’s a though about the future.

When you and Andrea have dropped your pecs and firmed your dancing gluts, suggest to TVOne NZ that you join Brendan and Candy on the dance floor in some display dancing, and give old codgers like me, permission to dance again. Just maybe, reclaiming your early music, you show you the end from the beginning?

You have a gift Paul. Do you want to use it, or lose it?

Maybe you could sign up for TVNZ 2010 to “BE” one of the dancers on the floor along with Stephan, bringing the dancer out of an older non-dancer, and show people just what the metre is, that lies beneath the silence.

Just some thoughts from the Treetops, Paul,

But then, as your Uncle Bob, what would I know?

Lots of love,

Uncle Bob.

Cool Hilary!

I think Uncle Bob could easily be a pretty sunset, a nice smile from a stranger, a lady bug that lands on your hand as you pick up a nice cold beer for a sip, a tasty meal, good sex, a prayer, a cloud shaped like a picasso, a wonderful smell, a beautiful memory, a tear as it falls down your cheek, a great new song you've never heard before....

Shall I go on? I can, you know.

A lazy day in your pajamas, learning to play an instrument, achieving a new physical level of endurance, fighting a disease, making sausage, finding new friends...

o.k. enough. I say UNCLE!

Love you Millie and Ellie!! Thank you so very much for your prayers. I know they are being heard!

Dear Mary,

You're welcome, Mary; the prayer for your sister will continue every Saturday.

I noticed that "prayers" and "good sex" were on your lovely Uncle Bob list.

Ellie and I are advocates of both, but not at the same time; I don't want to be a bad influence on all of you youngsters on PC!

Might need prayers when "Ike" the hurricane is slated to hit southern Florida next week. Maybe it will change directions and stay out to sea.

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Grandma Mil, I've definitely have kept you and Ellie in my prayers with all this hurricane business. We just received the ending rains from Gustav here in Chicago. It rained all day and night and was pretty heavy, although not windy. Of course, this is nothing next to how the south has been hit the last few weeks!!

Hilary, that was a great letter to Paul with good thoughts, actually for all of us.

Wishing Paul and PCs a good weekend. Continuing to light candles and sending prayers for PCs in need!

Millie! You slay me. I noticed how those two (prayer and sex) ended up next to each other. Hey, o.k..... I guess good sex can be spiritual if you are sharing yourself with someone you trust and love. Or maybe more like it SHOULD be. Once again, you made me chuckle. I get such a kick out of you. I CANNOT WAIT to see MBF! I feel such a strong connection with you already. After I see the film, I can't imagine how much closer I'm going feel to you and Ellie! I'm so excited.

Paul, are you and the family ok? I imagine your food program is getting ready to film and are you still in the middle of having to move? You're in my thoughts and I hope that you and the girls are holding on.

The temps are dropping here in Colorado. Tonight we're only in the 40's but it's temporary. Fall is definitely in the air though. I DREAD summer ending. It's so hard for me. I get used to fall and then winter once it's here and I do fine with it..it's just the initial change that is so hard. Why is change so hard to accept sometimes?

Have a great weekend everyone. Paul, be powerful and self propelled!

Just quickly the house is off the market. Finally I have enough work lined up so as to take the house off the market for the mean time. What happens over the next few months and in to next year I dont know and if nee be we can sell it then. The plan is not to if we can help it and thankfully at the moment things look to have changed enough to stay put for now.

Hilary not even uncle Bob could get me on the dance floor as a contestant or for an exhibition. I am a classicly trained contempory ballet dancer - well I was. It is a good point you make re giving myself permission to dance again and it is something I arrived at a couple of years ago when I eventually agreed to dance at a large TV celebration here in Australia celebrating 50 years of TV. The judges from DWTS did a piece together which was fun, liberating and hopefully gave those knockers a chance to see that we could still hoof it!

Re finding my music, it is a journey of letting go, rediscovery, redefining, renewal, reclaiming and embracement if I may make up a word. An ongoing and ever changing journey.

thinking.....

I'm really glad you get to stay in your house. Take it as a good sign!

I always try to second guess the future, thinking I may be able to control it or avoid some future disappointment. Try not to get too far ahead of yourself Paul. Take it as it comes. Be brave and adventurous. Not everything has to be secured in order for YOU to be secure.

No uncle Bob, no job, no amount of money, no trustworthy friend, no amount of anything can secure your future. So slow down, and have faith.

{{{Glad you've met the challenge nose-to-nose so to speak, Paul.}}}

But I'm sorry I won't see you flooring it with Rodney Hide next DWTS :( (Just joking)

Don't you find, Paul, as you look back on your life, that there are roughly 7 yearly "ball juggles" in that ongoing life-long, ever changing journey of yours?

Moments when the world stands still too? News flash. " NZ Cricket team in an Al Queda bomb attack..."

Our son's babyhood; childhood; knowing how he felt about a previous bomb incident he'd been in in Colombo; ... his giggles, quirks, past and future swirled in my head like a timeless suspended three hour kaleidescope ... we waited, and waited, wondering...

Later, meeting him at the airport. Things no one would want to see, were etched in the faces of the whole team. .... I can see it and feel it like yesterday.

Perhaps one day, Paul, you'll write a book. Everyone has a story worth hearing.

But please don't call it "Still looking for Uncle Bob."

how about "Uncle Bob and Other Stories"

I am actually trying to work out the best title for my cook book but I will leave that for another post.

I was just in NZ for the NZ Beer awards which I hosted - strange really to go to Wellington to MC the international New Zealand Beer Awards. I had fun, did a great job and drank a couple or too many beers.

Start shooting my new food series tomorrow.

Strange how life can turn around on a dime in nano seconds isnt it?

Hope your son is well Hilary.

MaryS slow down are you kidding I am about to start up again. True though as you say - I am secure - I dont rely on others view of me to determine who I am - full steam ahead!

Hilary, thank you for your kind words. I am still finding peace with my father's passing, and I know as I get probate in motion things will fall more into place.

We had a ton of rain and some high winds from Hannah yesterday. Thankfully all the trees around my house remained where they belonged (and not on top of or inside of my house). Millie I am keeping you and the other PCs living in FL in my prayers regarding Ike. My mom is very nervous about this one, as am I. My mom and my uncle's family reside in FL year round, so when we have a string of storms like this and an "Ike" comes along... All we can do is pray for the best. I also add Susie into that hurricane prayer because she's outside of Tampa.

Speaking of Susie, she has an appointment for a second opinion (regarding treatment) at Moffit, which is one of the best cancer centers there is. I'm so glad she stuck to her guns and got the referral.

Paul, I am very happy to hear that you and your family won't be selling your home. Being gypsies is one thing, selling a house you love is another. Best wishes for the new series you begin filming (today?).

Ok, I'm off to finish catching up on things. I'm a bit behind since I've been transferring files to my new laptop. Enjoy your week everyone. :o)

Paul, how wonderful you won't have to sell your house. All the best on your new filming venture. (Of course, have to admit would also like to see you back dancing, but I do understand.)

Just watched the weather report and hopefully Ike will move south of Florida, but then we're looking at New Orleans and into Houston--they just got badly showered by Gustav! More prayers and "ju ju" beads!

Sarah, after all that repaired damage, hopefully no more for you. Hope your mother will be all right. And also wishing the best for Susie. Congrats on the new laptop!

HIlary, also wishing your son will be fine.

Paul (and Melody {hugs Melody} ),

Our son is fine. It was 2002, and he's never been back to Pakistan, and doesn't intend to either. His bomb interludes have marked him, but for the better I think. He also discovered that life doesn't revolve around international cricket!

Nano seconds keep us all on our toes, huh?

Re a book about stories in your life, it depends on the focus you take.

If you are thinking of shorter stories, which illustrate a thought theme rather than chronological bites in autobiographical fashion, then you might aim for something light. maybe along the lines of "Mercurial Moments", "Mercurial Memories", "Mercurial Musings" ..... or something like that. But a publisher might see those titles as too predictable, without a pull appeal to make someone who doesn't know you, pick up the book.

They prefer something more "loaded" :)

In terms of naming an autobiography, that has to come from the story itself, and express the essence of the angle taken.

In terms of the cook book, I'll wait for that thread.

for us to toss around cook-book names, you'd have to clue us in on content. Apart from the beer that is!

Hugs{{{ Sarah }}} too.

I'm writing a lot of stuff about Dad down now. It helps. And one day i'll compile it into a book for the family at large.

You might want to do that. It helps me to do it, as each memory comes around. I have an exercise book (you call them journals I think?) and toss them in there and then type them up later.

I find I also remember more, as I have to write them down.

Hope probate goes well for you.

Well Ike's missed us here on the east coast of Florida and it seems Josephine is heading north in the Atlantic.

We have some light winds coming from Ike today but its actually a pleasant sound through the trees.

Last Friday since everyone in my neighborhood thought that we were going to be slamed with a possible category 4 hurricane they decended upon Waxy's for an unofficial pre-hurricane party. It got pretty crazy later on in the evening seeing one of my neighbor's friends completly toasted walking out of the bar like Frankinstine with one eye shut for some reason. And then the lady who decided that the men's restroom would do just fine for her despite some shouts of protest from the other bathroom dwellers. Since I'm on another health kick I didn't have my usual glass of merlot but the entertainment none the less was just as satisfying.

Good luck with the new assignment Paul and a hello to all!

Julie

Paul, your wonderful news enforces the saying that
Ellie always uses, "I will not be beaten"!

This is the start of something big; keep us posted!

Julie, good thing that the hurricane "Ike" peetered out, or Waxy's would have been cited for
disturbing the peace of the neighborhood, and closed down, heaven forbid!

Two and a half weeks until Tara arrives with Ondine. Be still my heart!

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Grandma Mil, Julie, and Sarah (for your mother)--
Hopefully Ike won't be more damaging. I'm happy that it "iked" itself more westward, however, should it go the way of New Orleans, it's still so soon after Gustav.

Grandma Mil, you must be counting the hours--it so close now. How wonderful for you! :)

Paul, Grandma Mil is right. Good things coming to you and DWTS may have been in the way though we all agree your participation was invaluable. Again, so glad you and the family can continue to enjoy your home.

Hilary, its wonderful that you are writing down the memories of your father in order to compile a book for your family. In my case I'm not sure what family I'd be compiling it for. I'm an only child, divorced with no children, and unless either myself or my cousin have children there won't be any family to pass the stories along to. There are no male "heirs" if you will as the only male son died in a plane crash in 2003. His birthday would be this Thursday. My dad's youngest brother has also died, leaving no children. So our small family has grown ever small in the past 5 years. I haven't given up on having children, but as each year passes the outlook becomes more dim.

At this point it appears that Ike will head more towards TX and LA. Not that I wish this type of destruction on anyone, but I'm thankful my friends and family appear to be out of danger.

I had my physical today and all is well. Ok, other than the need to shed those pounds I've needed to lose the past 20 years of my life. LOL

Now I'm off to figure out something for dinner. I believe a nice salad with baby spinach and perhaps a bowl of soup. :o)

Get your motor runnin....head out on the highway....looking for adventure....in whatever comes our way....

Born to be wild....a song from the 60's by a band called Steppenwold I believe!

Go Paul!!!

Hi, everyone; Tara informed via email last night
that "My Biggest Fan" is on IMDB.com

Just open it up, put "My Biggest Fan" in the search bar, and there it is! Not too much info
yet, but it hasn't had a formal opening yet!

IMDB (Internet Movie Data Base) is a treasure trove of movie information, and I've been using it
for information for my programs.

Type in "Strictly Ballroom" in the search bar,
and you will get biographies of the cast,the
synopsis of the story, and even remarks from many fans that just adore it!

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Congratulations Grandma Mil! Waiting for your premiere with Tara. Will be watching for the video on the IMDB website.

Best wishes to Paul, the new season of Mercurio's Menu, the upcoming book and perhaps more of your stories--you write very good stories--I only get snippets here and there like the Uncle Bob story and the story of you having beer as you were growing up--maybe we can compile all your stories into a book. I like reading them bec your voice sounds sincere--even when you are lost or trying to make sense of things.

To MaryS: the beer and formaldehyde answer is in the prior post.

Born to be Wild--freshman year . . . ah the memories! 1968--sigh!

Beer and formaldehyde? I'm going to have to look at previous posts--not connecting!

Ike took four lives in Cuba, and now on its way to Mexico. May it spare New Orleans and Texas!

Its been slow at work so I've been home mostly the past three days. We currently have 35 people (mostly on business) checked in the hotel. THis week-end we may be getting more check ins when the weather clears so hopefully it will get busy at the spa.

Some of Ike's winds have descended upon Fort Lauderdale rustling through the trees and I have to admit its the most relaxing sound. I woke up with a seriously bad sinus headache from changes in the barametric temperature but after a cold pack on my head, two asperine and a few more hours rest in bed I'm feeling more like my old self.

Still waiting to hear back from the Eastside Forum on my article and hopefully I'll hear from them soon so I can move foreward with another piece.

All my best,

Julie

Agreed...not sure where the formaldehyde comment came back out of the woodwork from. Thanks for the info Liz. I saw the list of beers that Paul thought might be worth trying. I didn't think that any of those were sold in the U.S. but haven't had time to research. I'm still not sure what beers that are sold in the U.S. might still be using formaldehyde as a preservative, but now am aware that many products contain small amounts of this as a preservative. I want to know which products do not use it, but I imagine they are using other preservatives and they're all probably somewhat harmful. I can't believe how many gross chemicals we probably either ingest or place onto our bodies that are poisonous. I'm sure this is what is causing so many illnesses in our time.

After they've all made their blood money from the selling of these products and the treating of the diseases the products cause, the truth will be known. But it will be too late by then. Sorry to be a bummer.

Julie, hang in there with the anticipation on the article. It would be so awesome to share in your excitement if and when it's published. Good luck! I'm glad the hurricane is missing you and Grandma Millie!

Grandma, yes, IMDB is a fun site. I actually have it up on my web browser toolbar as I visit it quite often. It's so cool that you are now a part of that site! I can't wait till there's more info on there about the film, after people see it. The time is really approaching. I am so happy!!

I watched a great 2006 released movie on HBO this weekend. It's called The Namesake. I highly recommend it. It's the story of a young couple from Bengal India who move to the U.S. about 25 years ago and how they adjust to life here and raise their children here. I related to this on the level that my Italian relatives immigrated to the U.S. in the very early 1900's. I cried with pride as this young couple yearn for their country and family that they left behind to pursue opportunities in the U.S. and how the children eventually learn to appreciate their culture. It was a beautiful love story and a true lesson in family ties. Beautiful movie! Look it up on IMDB sometime. Better yet, try to catch this movie!

It was a BEEEEAUTIFUL day here today! I'm trying to get pictures from my phone on to shutterfly. If I ever get it worked out, I'll possibly share them with whomever wants to look at them. Pics of my little home here.

Night all!

Julie, waiting for the reply to your article. Glad that Ike spared you and G. Mil. MaryS, the toxins in the env and in our food and water I believe are causing a lot of illness.

I am having great difficulty at work right now; I seem to be not in synch with what is going on. It is very scary to feel to not be in control. The stories in my mind about what can go wrong or are going wrong worry me. I seem to be repeating the same mistakes despite my best intentions and receiving a lot of ill will. Then the chorus of criticism (some unfair, some valid) becomes even more strident it is starting to eat away at my confidence. Has any one of you been through this and how did you get through it?

Liz, I'm the last person to discuss how I handle job stress... considering I resigned from my job today. ;o) I wish I had some ideas that would make things go the right way for you, but I'm at a loss. Best of luck on getting things straight.

Sorry to hear that you resigned Sarah; but that sounds like a great idea right now. I was just thinking knowing that life is too precious and short am I devoting my life to the wrong profession. Thanks for your wishes. I hope your journaling is going well (about your dad) but that may be a hard thing to do to write memories down.

Liz, I've actually known since I took my leave of absence that I would resign - the company just didn't know. It is one of the best decisions I've made in a long time, and it's a step I should have taken a long time ago. I've been working in an industry that is a necessary evil, but it doesn't mean that it's one I want to be a part of. It was never my dream to do this, but it paid the bills. Now I'm going to devote more energy to me and trying to get my life back on track to where it should be.

Liz, I do have some experience in this situation, and could toss "bouncing board" ideas, but I don't want to fire blank bullets in the dark, to use an inept analogy.

Have you posted here about your work? I've not found it, but haven't gone through everything... I also realise that it's not always a good thing to put specifics on internet, so if you haven't, fine :)

Maybe the key issue is that you are making repeated mistakes because you **know** it's the wrong profession for you? Do you have other "strings" on your bow?

Liz, I do have some experience in this situation, and could toss "bouncing board" ideas, but I don't want to fire blank bullets in the dark, to use an inept analogy.

Have you posted here about your work? I've not found it, but haven't gone through everything... I also realise that it's not always a good thing to put specifics on internet, so if you haven't, fine :)

Maybe the key issue is that you are making repeated mistakes because you **know** it's the wrong profession for you? Do you have other "strings" on your bow?

sorry... got a message that explorer couldn't display so bit back and reposted :( didn't meant to double up.

Hilary, the multiple messages happen from time to time. It's just part of our happy being here at PC. :o)

Part of the reason I didn't say much about my resignation here before it was done was due to the fact that I know my prior employer does search the net for stuff. I am very easy to find online, and I didn't want anything out there before I told them myself of the decision.

Slightly switching gears, please keep positive thoughts and prayers for those in the path of Ike. Within the next few hours he should be making landfall around the Galveston, TX area. Parts of TX and LA are already flooded. Sadly, people in Houston did not evacuate and it is too late now (why, oh why can't we learn?).

Hilary, it may be that I am in the wrong profession; I guess it is never too late to change although I have devoted a signif amt of my life to my work. The passion for the job just is not there anymore--maybe it is time to change directions, or just take a break. Maybe I keep running into the same problems bec I "know" it is all wrong for me like you said. Thanks for the insight.

Sarah I am joining your prayers for the people in the path of Ike. Glad that you made the tough yet so right move.

If you ask yourself the question, "Do I want to still be doing this job in 5 years", and it makes you feel sick, then perhaps now is the time to reinvent your life? Only you can know.

But the younger we do it the better.

There is a saying that often it's not the things in life that we do, that we regret, it's the things in life that we don't do.

A life lived in fear etc. {{{hugs}}} Hilary.

Hilary, the throwing up test is a good one. Just imagining another 5 years makes me want to flee to Antartica. or throw up. It was good when it started but the job has changed to where I have become a "producer" of something at a fast pace and it is high risk but I take all the risk in a complex organization--Need to simplify as part of it is the org want to grow and grow and become more profitable risking the workers to burn out and the people we serve are not taken care of. It is never to late to change as the other option of staying put is not good at all. Thanks for the gut feeling test--that is a good one to use. (how do you get the bracket for the (((hugs)))? Which key? A life lived in fear...

MaryS--I saw Namesake last year and I rented later in the year when it came out on disk. I thought the way the (his future) wife tries on her (future) husband's shoes (from America) before going to meet him was very sweet. I believe later that she tells him that she married him because of his American shoes, This is really a great film to check out--very moving.

Immigrating must be bittersweet. My Aunt Helen told me there were times while my grandmother would comb her (Aunt Helen's) hair, she would look distant and my Aunt believed she was thinking of Poland. None of my grandparents were ever able to return after settling here, even to just visit. Part of it was finances and another WWI and II.

Sarah, I hope you end up with something you enjoy doing soon. So many transitions for you this year!

Liz, besides the dancing I do, I also work at our local newspaper (Chicago Tribune). We're going through a real upheaval in redesign and structure. Before we had to let go employees from our newsroom, it was so tense in my area, which is administration. I had to keep things in perspective, which is hard to do in fast evolving environments. Things kept zinging and zanging. We're now in redesign and will premiere the new layout in two weeks to our readers. I personally like what I see, but will our readers, and is it interesting enough to get new subscribers and street sales? Anyway . . .

It might be time to search and be open to other opportunities, even at your current company if there are other areas to consider. Sometimes it was good for me to move on a hunch. Trust your heart.

As for Ike, I'm so sorry for those that didn't leave when they had a chance. We just never know for sure how bad (or not) something can be.

We're having extensive rain in Chicago this weekend. My brother is right on the Des Plaines River, and their neighbor's home is already flooded, and the water was already approaching Frank's front yard. They are also predicting more rains tomorrow which can come up from Ike. Even to try to get to my brother is impossible. The roads by the river are already under water. Please keep in your thoughts/prayers those in Texas through our Midwest. :)

Melody, Frank and his neighbors will be in my prayers. My friend in Iowa is concerned about the rains as well. She still is without a house because hers was so severely damaged by the floods earlier this year.

Liz, the brackets you are looking for are the key next to the letter P. If you use the shift key with it, you get the { and } brackets, otherwise you get [ and ]. :o)

Liz, the only organization that I can think of which burns people out like that, is in the pharmaceutically based health sector. So I'm now rabbiting on, but hopefully it might be some comfort, even if that's not the sector you are in.

If a medical org is what you are in, it's an unforgiving one, and the structuring of it, is so appalling, even in NZ, that high staff turnover is inevitable.

My sister's daughter was born with a heart defect, and was under Royal Children's Hospital in ozland. My sister has untold stories of how RCH's system has gone to the dogs. In fact, so badly, that the very talented surgeon who did so much for her daughter, was head-hunted to USA. She really dreads trips to RCH these days, as often nosocomial infections are the outcome, what with delays and a lowering in cleanliness standards.

The USA health system has huge problems, but that's a whole nuther story. And the surgeon hasn't gone to a state funded part of the system.

They offered him a hospital of his choice, staff of his choice, research facilities of his choice, and "name your salary", and followed through. Given that in OZ he couldn't chose his staff, and the ones provided were very substandard, he was treated as a lackey, and wasn't well paid, moving the USA was a no-brainer. Fortunately my sister can still contact him via e-mail, but not having him around, has certainly increased their stress factors.

I can understand though, why people in the medical system feel torn, because the bit that means most to them, are the patients. Pity about the rest of the bulldust they have to cope with. Even here the paperwork is so convoluted now, that that's what they spend most time doing.

Antartica? Hmmmm 6 months of no sun isn't much cop. Though I guess watching the Aurora Australis might make up for it a bit. do you like the idea of freesing cold winds and stuff? :)

I like the idea of penguins, but you could go to Tazzie to see them :)

Hilary.

Hilary, I am very thankful that I can share this with you and you have some very good ideas. The aurora australis would be something to behold but I am really not a cold weather type of person, now that I think about how I do in the winter. I see myself as becoming very depleted. Going to the PC site and hearing your input, and Sarah's and Melody's helps a lot, as it brings sanity to the craziness. It is good to imagine "life lived in fear" and then Paul will then start the rustling curtain dance, the one with Tara and the red curtain--remember the look, when he looked at Tara his eyes said or I interpret it to say "You can do it Fran" Now I am dreaming in SB land.

Being part of big systems has its problems--it does not have to be the case--we got so big and want to be bigger that there is a lot of burnout. Always trying to go back to the core beliefs that made me want to do the work in the first place but harder and harder as our roles have been warped over time to being workers that have to meet prod goals and human connection is paid lip service.

And is there a real place called OZ that exists? Although I feel bad about the healthcare system in Oz that you described and the fact that your niece and sister have to deal with their system.

Oz or Antartica?? You did say you were mining in Antartica in a prior post; so were you actually living on the icecap and living at those weathere extremes?

Grandma Mil's Invitation.wps (44KB)

Grandma Mil's Invitation.wps (44KB)

Before joining Hilary on her Antartica expedition, I would like to say hello to G. Mil and how are you doing with the waiting.

I am trying to make a word doc for your invitation but won't post. Have to find out how to insert a doc in the blog.

It says:

Millie, Ellie, and Tara invite you to the premiere of My Biggest Fan to be held at Wyndmoor Place on September 21, 2008 at sunset.

It looks like a card when printed. Will ask Cat how to do it right.

Praying for those in Ike's path. Liz

Liz, don't worry about the invitation. Certain people were invited by special invitation because they 1)are the bigwigs in our community 2) are
members of my cast of ""Follies 2007" who met Tara when she and her tech crew was filming the performances of "Follies" in 2007.

Only 10 days to go! Ellie and I are "wai-ting, wai-ting" for Tara's arrival with her daughter. I only hope no hurricanes are on the horizon.

MBF has legs..after the premiere, it will be shown
at the Ft. Lauderdale International Film Festival
in October. I will be introduced, unaccustomed as I am to public speaking..(yeah, yeah, Grannie)

Then, finally, it will be shown on the SBS Television Network of Australia on Friday, November 7th at 7:30 p.m. prime time.

If I am repeating myself, excuse me,for we are very excited..we haven't seen MBF yet, and won't until Tara shows it to Ellie and me in our home before the premiere night on September 26th.

I asked an Australian friend of mine who was at the screening in June "will I slide down in my seat and cover my eyes", and she answered, "no, you will be very proud of it.."

Julie will be taking pictures, and we'll find a way to post them.

Paul, Popsy Albert wants to show MBF at a charity
event she is planning...she called it "a gem".

(Popsy Albert is the wife of Ted Albert, the producer of "Strictly Ballroom" who suddenly and tragically passed away before the start of production. Popsy took over.)

I hope to keep you all informed..I don't know how to put in links to any information, but I'll bet Cat and Evelyn will figure it out!

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Liz :) I live in NZ, and worked for an Australian mining company here.

My sister always uses the term OZ, :) so I slipped into familial bad habits.

Happy screening, Grandma Mil. I'm sure it will go well.

(Incidental question... does anyone know what Antonio Vargas is up to? His website hasn't been updated for a long time, and I have a feeling I'm missing a key part of a puzzle, to my own embarrassment, in asking the question. )

Liz, I've never been to Antartica. My husband's first wife was killed in the Mt Erebus flight down there, so there is no way we'd make a trip there even if we could. The closest I've got was the Antartica centre in Christchurch.

But I've watched Auroras and they are fantastic. But not fantastic enough for me not to have decent light for 6 months.

Re your job, I get the feeling you will know when the time is right to make a change, if you listen inside for the answer.

{{{Liz}}}

Hilary.

Here's a link to Millies film on FLIFF

http://www.fliff.com/film.asp?filmID=2222&catID=29

Grandma Mil, we're getting so excited for you also!!

Dear Julie, thank you, thank you, kiss, kiss, for posting that link! How ever do you do it?

Tara looks beautiful, as usual, but since that picture was taken last year, I haave lost 13 lbs.

MBF will be at the Ft. Lauderdale International
Film Festival on Sunday, October 19, 11:00 a.m.

You are all invited! Ellie and I will be there with a bunch of other retirees from our village. I may even be persuaded to say a "few" words.

Tara and her daughter Ondine arrive a week from Wednesday. I received her itinerary today. She will only be with us for 2 1/2 days, and then up
to NYC to see her brother and family, and take in
a Broadway show. Our twins may join her for lunch!

Oye vey, am I excited, and as Melody would say, "Ole!"

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Fabulous! I can't wait to see if the film will be available for purchase. I would love to add it to my one and only SB collection: The SB Movie!!

Millie, I feel like I'm going to explode with excitement!

Millie, I will be thinking of you as you preview the film the 26th. I'll be in Montréal with a friend. I'm sure it is excellent, and I hope it will be available to the public soon enough so we can all see it. :o)

Thanks Hilary for your insight. I will think about what you said. As for Antonio Vargas, it is Melody who has seen him most recently as he taught in her school. He performed California years back but I did not see him as I did not know about SB then (90s). Thanks Hilary for the inspiration from Oz...I will have to look up the accident mentioned as I do not know of it--that must have been a tragic turning point for your husband. Some day I would like to go to Christchurch. Can you see the auroras there or is it not far south enough?

I like the link posted by Julie; Grandma Mil you look so beautiful. I want to see you in the gold dress when you lip synch to Q. Latifah. Countdown: Day 9 till the premiere.

Julie, thanks for that link to FLIFF. Grandma Mil, you look just "loverly" with Tara, as Tara does, too.

Nine days to showtime! Wow, so hard to believe the time is this close! Let's hope the weather remains calm so Tara can easily fly in and everyone can enjoy this wonderful event!

I don't know anything about Antonio Vargas as late. The one dancer here in Chicago that kept regular contact with him is no longer at our school. Not even sure if she's still in Chicago. It was because of her that we were able to arrange the two summer workshops with him. She studied with him during his tenure in Germany.

If I hear anything through the flamenco grapevine, I'll let PCs know.

And latest update in our unusual flooding in Chicago. People are starting to return home. My brother's home fortunately didn't flood into his first floor, but he'll need a new hot water tank and clean up. Luckily he has flood insurance, which will help cover some of this. He's in Des Plaines a NW suburb of Chicago. The Des Plaines River has a tendency to overflow during heavy storms. The last few times his area was fortunate, but not so this weekend. It was compounded with the tail end rains from Hurricane Ike.

Hey Paul haven't blogged for a while. Our new season of DWTS starts this Monday. We are all excited. Maybe we will see you as a guest judge on the show. That would be great.

Take care & Love, Marge

Dear devotees of "Strictly Ballroom (which includes everyone on this blog..)

I showed SB on Tuesday night to my regular fans
of my monthly program "Mildred's Great Movies".

Even though it was the 7th yearly showing since 9/11, the auditorium was practically filled!

However, the overhead projector was out for repairs, and the management had to rig a temporary
little portable projector; and while the technician was struggling to get it going, I was
trying not to get too aggravated!

Finally, after a 20 minute delay, the technician
got SB going...IN BLACK AND WHITE! No red curtains, no red pasa doble costume for Fran, and no gold encrusted jacket for Scott!

However, the sound and music came though, but all the dancers, etc., were in black and white.

HOWEVER,the audience didn't seem to mind, especially those that had seen it before many times!

The countdown continues, and now it is 6 days until Tara and Ondine arrive. People that I meet say they are coming to the premiere. Of course, it is free to residents, but just the same...

I believe that there will be DVDs of MBF available later on for those that wish to order.

I will tell Tara; and I know she will be happy to
accommodate those that love everything about SB.

Those in Australia can tape MBF when it is shown
on SBS on November 7th, 7:30 p.m.

When Tara and Ondine are here I made an appointment with my regular hairdresser, "Gina" for them to get a comb out before the big event.

The "beauty" shop will be in awe! I invited Gina
and the owners to the premiere, and they're all coming. Stay tuned!

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Grandma Mil,

When I read your post, I can feel the electric thrill of excitement!! Best wishes in all of your plans.

Such an exciting countdown! Woo hoo!

Melody, I'm so glad your brother has flood insurance to help with his damages. He's a smart man.

Things are going well for me. I joined Weight Watchers on Saturday, and then my friends and I decided to change our official meeting night to Tuesday. So I did my "Week 1" weigh-in this past Tuesday and I was down 7.7 lbs! I feel as if I could fly. I don't think I've been this motivated to change my lifestyle in years - or possibly ever. I promise to keep everyone updated. :o)

Dear Sarah,

Congratulatons on your weight loss!

You seem to be motivated, and with all of us on PC
urging you on, you'll do fine! Keep us posted!

Tara and Ondine arrive on Wednesday night; the premiere is a week from today!(Friday)

Are we excited? You guess!

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Grandma Mil--looks like the wai-ting will be over--cannot believe it's less than a week away.

Sarah, that's great news--wishing you success!

And, yes, where is our Paul these days? I hope Channel 7 and DWTS considers a guest spot for you!!

The weather is calmer this week, and hopefully next in the States. I especially wish good weather for Tara's flying in and MBF next week.

Good weekend, everybody!

Thanks Grandma Mil and Melody. I definitely plan to keep up the good work.

I bet Paul is busy filming MM the reason we haven't heard from him.

Today was gorgeous here in VA, and the weekend looks like it will be the same. :o)

Have a great time, Grandma Mil :)

Melody, thanks for the thoughts on AV ~ I can find nothing.

Liz, at the time of the crash, I only knew my husband because we went to the same church and the same bible study.

I know this will sound strange, but while Mt Erebus was a tragic turning point, my husband knew inside something was coming. Not exactly what was coming, but in the two weeks before his wife took the flight, in their bible readings together, every day, something came through about death having no sting. No matter what they studied together, a thread always lead back to death and what it really means.

When the first intercom message came through that the plain was delayed, there was something in him that knew. He was very calm. When the airport staff announced that the plane was missing, he "knew". Looking back he can see his wife did too. Her last comment to the youngest son was, "Don't worry, I'm not going to be much food for the penguins." Many a serious thing is said in jest. She had a medical condition, and in that respect, she died doing something she most wanted to do, and the family don't have to think about how life would have been after she returned, as the condition progressed.

She had also tidied the whole house, written letters and left nothing undone. In the week before, she had gone and seen all her close friends and family, ... and looking back, it was as if she too knew deep down, though the thought was never actually verbalised or discussed.

Some might say the "hand of God".

The other interesting thing was that just before the plane took off, several people asked to be able to get off the plane. Some were very upset, and said that just knew that something was wrong, but again, not what... so again, some would say, the "hand of God".

Yes traumatic. But trauma brings it's own lessons, and sometimes the best rewards out of life... Even in my own life before that, I know that. No-one would wish any trauma on anyone, but me the best lessons I've learned were when the ground shifted unpredictably, in a way I didn't want, or ask for.

The first few years of our marriage were rather rocky because of what other people thought about our being married with 22 years between us. (Funny how other people editorialize on what's "right", in their eyes, while their own pile smoulders :) )

However, I'm sure Grandma Mil will also be able to recount that the best mountains can come after the troughs and valleys.

All sunshine is a desert. No such thing as a problem, just a solution in disguise, or a challenge to be seen through.

That's my version and I'm sticking to it :) :)

Maybe Paul's making more salami and beer :)

Hilary.

Hilary, I agree that it is in those darkest moments when freed of illusion, when everything seems lost or broken, that we are closest to the mystery.

Even with the age difference it appears that you are very close spirit wise. He has gone through a tragic loss--and that over the years you were with him to start anew.

As for Paul, I would guess he is celebrating Father's Day with his daughters and wife, (?Sept in Australia) while making new recipes with beer in it, in between shooting MM.

Thanks again Hilary for your kindness.

Where's Paul? He was in Kangaroo Island.

http://kangarooisland.yourguide.com.au/news/local/news/general/new-ozone-chef-hosts-tv-guest/1277508.aspx

Hello Grandma Mil, only 2 more days till Tara and Ondine arrive. Would like to see clips of your movie once it has been shown.

The people of Kangaroo Island are so lucky that Paul has visited them. Kangaroo Island is the 3rd largest island in Aus after Taz and Melville Island; it is in southern Australia. Hello Paul, I hope you are having a great time! Tell us about your adventures but may be hard as you are travelling and experiencing those places :)

Yes, Liz, it's almost down to just counting the hours!

Tara and Ondine have a long trip ahead; the longest part is from Sydney to San Francisco, where they change planes for Miami International Airport.

A Town Car driver will hold up a sign
(Tara Morice)help them with their luggage, and then bring them north to Ft. Lauderdale and their
hotel, which is only 7 minutes from Wynmoor!

Ellie and I will not see them until they rest up
the next morning, and then, with great anticipation, appreciation beyond belief, and much love, we will meet them; Tara wants to screen MBF privately in our home before the Premiere on Friday...she is eager for our reaction...I know I will need plenty of Kleenex because of pure joy and great admiration
for her in her long struggle to bring MBF to fruition.

Yes, Hilary, this is one of the best mountains;
it a marvelous and unexpected respite from some of the troughs and valleys that we knew from our long past.

Tara wrote that "My Biggest Fan" is on Google.

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Liz, thanks for posting that about Paul in Kangaroo Island. So glad there's another season to Merc's Menu in progress!

Grandma Mil--we can only imagine what you and Ellie must be feeling this week--down to 48 hours--I'd be looking at the clock and counting down and down again!

I'm happy you'll have a chance to see MBF before the premiere, and with a personal view with Tara to boot! :) Really is wonderful!

Will "Google" MBF and see what turns up. So exciting!

Hmmm, I couldn't find MBF on Google. I tried a few ways. Liz will find it for us. ;) I don't know how you find the time to be on the computer so much! lol. Maybe it's only on the Australian version of Google? That's probably not right. I think Google is global. Try saying that 10 times fast!

Millie and Ellie: have a blast this week! Soak it all in and just enjoy it. Don't stress out too much. Not that you would. I know I would. I don't like too much excitement. :)

Millie, I didn't get around to letting you know this last weekend but my sister's CT scan showed that the treatments are making a difference in the lung spots, so my sister is back in the hospital for round three of another week long treatment. I dread it. She's going to be a bit more cautious as are the doctors so it doesn't beat her up so badly. She doesn't necessarily need to be so aggressive, but that's the only way she wanted to do it. Now they have told her that even making it to 5 doses is good. She had been trying to take at least 11 of the 14 doses and had made it to 13 once. That's why it's been pretty tough on her. She's bounced back each time, but this last time left some affects on her speech. It's so scary.

Hope everyone is having a great week.

Tomorrow is "landing day!" Grandma Mil you must be beyond excited!

If I may cloud things just a bit, my friend with the cancer - Susie - is going in for emergency type surgery Wednesday morning. They are actually removing part of her spine and putting in rods, pins, etc... in order to alleviate some of the pain she is in from the cancer moving to that area. This is also to prevent paralysis. She's scared, but she is holding her head high because she knows she is in the right hands now. I am asking for all good wishes for the (4 hour) surgery and her recovery.

As for me, I am now over the 10 lbs mark on my weight loss! I'm quite happy, and positive I will not gain it back while in Montréal this weekend. :o)

Congrats on living healthfully, Sarah.
Healing to those who are ill...

MaryS: you have to google using Mildred Levine and here it is, G Mil's own IMDB site:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3121638/
http://www.ffc.gov.au/news/archive/ffc_int_fund_0712.asp

Dearest Friends,

It's 4:00 a.m. Wednesday, and I checked PC, and found all your messages..

Sarah and Mary: Ellie's prayers for Susie and Rebecca are ongoing every Saturday. Our best wishes are with you and them.

Yes, Tara and Ondine are airborne as I type..who can sleep? It will be a long day; they are due into Miami at 8:30 p.m. Wednesday if they make their connections on time in San Francisco. The
waiting is the worst, but we have a full day to distract us!

I was told yesterday that at the premiere Friday,
Tara and Ondine will be transported from their hotel by limousine to the reception area, and a red carpet will be laid for them, and stantions will be place to keep the "crowds" back! I thought that it was such a great idea! I guess Ellie and I will also be in the limo, but it's Tara's night to be honored, and we are thrilled for her! Pictures and video will be shot. Julie is also planning a separate photo op with her new
digital camera, and I'm sure she will be posting her pix so PC will get them.

Liz, thank you for those sites. How do you do it?
(On second hand, even if you told me, I wouldn't be able to do it myself!) I didn't know I had my OWN site on IMDB..cool!

If you Google "My Biggest Fan" be sure to go to the second page.

Shalom and Love,

Grandma Mil

Grandma Mil,

We are counting the minutes (now) with you!!

Here's wishing you peace during your waking hours 'til tomorrow and restfulness during your much needed sleep tonight.

Its going to be an honor to do the photography of two great ladies.

It still seems surreal for me to since seeing SB for the first time fifteen years ago that I would be photojournaling SB's greatest fan and Tara Mourice.

Maybe I'll have the opportunity to photojoural the same for Paul and Andrea and the family and see Australia who knows.

all the best,

Julie

Well said, Marian..it's been a long day, but Tara
and Ondine are just 2 hours from Miami!

Tara called me from San Francisco when she landed,
and told me the flight over the Pacific from Australia to SF was exactly 13 hours, and now the second part, to Florida will be 6 hours more; it is late afternoon and she is due in 2 hours!

Ellie and I will not meet her until tomorrow mid morning (Thursday) after she and Ondine have a good night's sleep at the hotel.

Tomorrow she will show us MBF for the first time, in our home, privately, before the grand premiere
on Friday night.

People ask me, "are you excited"? and I answer,
"no, I always quiver like this..."

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Grandma Mil--wishing you and Tara a fantastic premiere! I'm so glad the weather is behaving itself so Tara and Ondine can make it safely into Florida. I would have flown in but this is so close to the student recital and rehearsals are too important now.

Julie--I know you'll have an awesome time. I bet you're just as anxious as Millie!

Sara and MaryS--my prayers continue to be with you.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. They are definitely working. Susie's surgery went very well. They removed part of the tumor near her spine, fused parts of her spine and added pins/rods where needed. She was in good spirits and everything that is supposed to move does. They expect to have her up and moving tomorrow. :o)

Grandma Mil, have a fabulous time. I'll be thinking of you Friday night at the big premiere. :o)

Sarah, hope {{{Susie}}} goes okay. three hugs from me, two for you and one for her. She might be interested in a new book here:

http://www.amazon.com/Anticancer-New-Life-David-Servan-Schreiber/dp/0670020346/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_1

also this one by a molecular scientist who discovered epigenetics might be useful:

http://www.amazon.com/Biology-Belief-Unleashing-Consciousness-Miracles/dp/1401923119/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1222324106&sr=1-1

Grandma Mil, I know you will be buzzing and so excited, but please stop quivering, and slow down enough to really savour the moment, okay? :)

Now, anyone know how a New Zealander can get to see MBF?

Hilary.

Hilary I've stopped quivering, I've stopped quivering....(honest!)

Tara and Ondine arrived last night and are safely at the hotel; we'll wait until Tara calls this morning to say they want to be picked up and brought to our place to watch MBF for the first time'

I would think that NZ would be able to get the SBS
TV Network of Australia..it goes out to 9 million people.

MBF will be shown at last on Friday, November 7th, at 7:30 p.m. on SBS.

SBS is also the International Sales Rep, and has
already received some interest from stations around the world, including the U.S. Who knows..

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Hilary I've stopped quivering, I've stopped quivering....(honest!)

Tara and Ondine arrived last night and are safely at the hotel; we'll wait until Tara calls this morning to say they want to be picked up and brought to our place to watch MBF for the first time'

I would think that NZ would be able to get the SBS
TV Network of Australia..it goes out to 9 million people.

MBF will be shown at last on Friday, November 7th, at 7:30 p.m. on SBS.

SBS is also the International Sales Rep, and has
already received some interest from stations around the world, including the U.S. Who knows..

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Grandma Mil, Channel 11 WTTW-Chicago might be interested in MBF. It's our public station and they run various programming along with their own PBS produced specials.

When I see their cooking shows, I think of Paul. It would be nice if Merc's Menu could be considered by our PBS stations.

I'm sure Grandma Mil and Ellie are having a wonderful day with Tara and Ondine. How "FAN"tastic!

I'm quivering as I wait to hear the latest!!!! Today is the day and I can hardly wait to hear what Grandma Mil thinks of MBF!!!!

Dearest Friends,

Tara and Ondine arrived safely and on time last night (Wednesday) and we didn't meet them until Thursday before noon, when they came to our home and we saw MBF for the first time!

Tara is bubbly and beautiful, with those incredible,gorgeous blue eyes, and a loving demeanor. Her daughter, Ondine is just like her,
so sweet, so full of personality and happy to be visiting.

MBF is incredible..it starts with her story, the beginning of the success of SB from the adulation at Cannes, and then the years that followed the fanfare, where people were wondering what every happened to...then Mildred Levine, a 75
year old great grandma writes to her after 9/11 and she becomes "My Biggest Fan".

Tara and I are tied through circumstances that seemed similar, even though continents and a generation separated us.

The scenes shot of "Follies 2007" are just gorgeous, and Tara and company were inspired with the energy of my cast, ages 60-95.

I could go on and on, but words cannot describe the pride and joy that Ellie and I feel for Tara and her work; it has to be seen to be believed!

Tomorrow night is the reception and then the premiere, and I know there will a wonderful audience that will appreciate her efforts.

I will be talking to her about the availability of
the DVDs, especially for those who love Paul and Tara and that special film that brought us all together.

I will let everyone on PC know how the evening progressed at the premiere. A special Town Car will bring her to the affair, and a real red carpet will be laid from the car to the door of the hall where 140 invited guests will be waiting,
outside and inside! Then, into the Wynmoor Theatre
for the show, open to all residents, FREE!

Shalom and love,

Grandma Mil

Tara and Ondine will be leaving Saturday..it will be hard to say goodbye. I will let everyone know

Thanks for the update Grandma Mil!!! and keeping us in the loop. Have fun tomorrow and send my best wishes and congratulations to Tara!

Grandma Mil--how wonderful! Congratulations and all the best for the formal premiere tomorrow night!

And yes--

¡Olé! ¡Vivan Tara y Abuelita Millie! ¡Arriba MBF!

Congratulations G. Mil!!!I hope you got some sleep for Friday's big day!!!

Curious about audience feedback on the onscreen kissing with you and Ellie and will they have to rate the film bec of that?

Hello to Tara and Ondine!!!Looking forward to Julie's photojournal...

This is your day, G. Mil!!!

Enjoy your time with Tara, Ondine, and Ellie and the fans of My Biggest Fan.

And to Julie, as you are inspired to create the shots for G. Mil's big event I hope you do not have to fight the crowds so you can take good pictures.

YAY!!!

That's all I can say! Hoping to see MBF for myself someday soon. :)

My sister is making it through this treatment with flying colors and should be going home tomorrow. She had allot of nausea on the first day. This is treatment number 3, each being a 5 day stay in the hospital receiving at least 11 doses of interuken over the course of the week. She's done great this time.

Thanks everyone for your prayers and thoughts.

Grandma, I wish I was there!!

MaryS--I'm glad to see your sister is doing well with her treatment.

Will continue with the prayers. :)

This morning, just after my alarm sounded, the radio morning personalities said they would be interviewing Paul Mercurio, Spike Lee, and a list of others "right after the break". Since I live in the USA and the radio people are based out of California, I was very puzzled, but hopeful as well. Hubby and I listened to the 'talking heads' all during getting ready for work and the drive in (an hour and a half) waiting for Paul Mercurio to be interviewed (of course they interviewed Spike Lee immediately and then some authors). We listened and waited and waited and listened. Just as we were pulling into work, Paul Mercurio was introduced.... He didn't have an Aussie accent.... He wasn't our Paul.... I was SO bummed!!!!!

Marian--there is an American comedian with almost the same name. I think his last name is Mecurio (without the r after the e).

I recall Cat commenting awhile back to someone that wrote into our Paul and told him that he wanted to write to the comedian.

Maybe that's who it was.

Can't wait to hear from our Paul and how his new programs are going. :)

I'm glad you've stopped Quivering Grandma Mil :)

We don't have television, so a DVD will have to be it. But yes, I'd love to see it.

mary S, Glad you sister is feeling better {{{}}}

Hilary.

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