Paul's Corner

I was walking down the street the other day and as I walked past a father walking with his two sons - both of which were probably under 6, I heard the dad say to one of his sons in a rather stern voice "I Dont Care"

and I got to wondering about how damaging that statement can be.

Especially to a young mind coming from the person who is your hero and your protecter.

Now I dont know if the dad had asked the son to put his coat on and the child may have said he didnt want to, to which his dad replied "I dont care"..... but the finality of the statement, the fact the dad doesnt care about how his son feels or what his son is thinking kind of hit home. It happened about a week ago and writing about it now I realsie that I was hurt by what I heard, hurt because for many years my dad didnt care about me. He does now but the little boy inside of me still remembers the feeling, the hurt and the loss of not being protected, the loss of not having a dad that cared.

Funny how things pop up isnt it?

I have used this statement twice - actually far more than twice but under and for the same two circumstances. The first is with my girls when they would want to stay up late and watch a TV show, or go to a party , or do something that all their friends were doing so they would always say to me but dad all the girls in my class watch this show/are going to the party/are doing it to which I would reply "I dont care" I think it was a good and proper use of the term for it sucked any power away from their argument because they understood what I meant. They hated it too because they almost never won the debate once I uttered the phrase - almost never. I dont care meant - and they understood this - that I care about my girls not about what their friends or the group of girls at school were doing.

And this is what struck me when I heard that dad on the footpath utter the phrase - there was no back up or intention, he truly didnt care. I slowed my walk down and listened for a few seconds to what might be said by way of qualify why he didnt care or what it was he was not caring about but there was nothing.

The other way I have used the phrase is as a disaramament to caring too much or in fact about caring about the wrong thing. This one is a little gray in what it does and I only played with the phrase in this way for a couple of weeks before I came to the conclusion that it actually disempowered me rather than disarm that which I sought to protect my self from.

Part of the problem is how it effected other people. In a work environment if you utter the phrase "I dont care" they hear it as a surrender and a weakness. And eventually they start not to care either BUT they start not to care about you because when you work in a team and utter the phrase, you are saying you dont care about them. That is what the dad said to his son - I Dont Care (about you)

I do Care

I finished my Book - well I should really say I finished the first draft of my Cookbook and have delivered it on time to the publisher!! There ends one chapter and begins another one. Submitting the book at deadline is a great thing and it certainly made me feel very good about my acheivement. There is much work to do on it still - editing, refining, design, photos, style etc but a lot of the work to be done rests with the publisher and some with me. It will be very exciting to see the book take shape now as the publisher, editor and designers get to work their Mojo on it!

The big issue is what to call it??????

It is a cook book where 90% of the recipes are cooked with beer but every dish is matched with beer. It is a cook book aimed at men and woman who love good food, love cooking and love doing something a little differently oh and of course love interesting boutique beer.

The book has recipes for beer hollandaise and caramelised scallops, french onion stout soup, slow braised guinness lamb shanks, chili chocolate stout ice cream, banana wheat bread etc etc a great range and mix of recipes that you really wouldnt think you would put beer in them.....

So come on put your thinking caps on andhelp me out with a title!

Cheers - 87 easy beer recipes? no
Cheers the Cookbook
the Cheers Cookbook
Beertastic Food

This last week or two I have kind of lost my Mojo
feeling a little aimless
got lots to do but.....
I realise you need a future
to know you have one
the past just doesnt cut it
you cant rely on it
from there
there is no way forwards
only backwards
but with a future
you know where you are
I have kind of lost my Mojo
cos I dont know

why do I fear
I do not fear
why do i fear
i do not fear
why do i fear
I do not fear

sometimes acknowledging what we are

allows us to be who we are

The stage version of the popular television series Dancing with the Stars has been canned, with the promoter blaming poor ticket sales.

Dance fans were promised an extravaganza that would have seen the winners, runners-up and three of the judges of Dancing with the Stars reunited for a one-off stage show at Vector Arena on August 27.

But the performers, who included infomercial queen Suzanne Paul, weatherman Tamati Coffey, former All Black Norm Hewitt, Olympian Beatrice Faumuina, beauty queen Lorraine Downes and actor Shane Cortese, were told on Wednesday that the show, under licence from BBC Worldwide, had been cancelled.

Cortese was not privy to the reasons for the cancellation but told the Herald he had been looking forward to the show, although he had not danced since his marriage to his dance partner, Nerida Jantti, last year.

"It was going to be grandiose and something really special for the fans of the show but there comes a point where something like that is backed by financiers that got cold feet at the end and the guys had to make a decision," said Cortese, who had been in training four times a week with Jantti for the past month in preparation.

"Upsetting as it is, it's one of the risks you take in being in this job. It's sad and frustrating but one door closes and something else opens straight away."

Promoter Tim Groenendaal said he was disappointed with ticket sales but he remained open to the possibility of the show running in the future.

"It's not in any way a reflection on the people who were going to be in the show. It's just really sad news for everyone including myself but it's one of those commercial decisions we have to make sometimes."

Mr Groenendaal said the stage version had been successful overseas but he hinted that the show being off-air locally probably had not helped.

"I also wonder if New Zealanders are being very careful with what they are spending their money on. There are various things like the World Cup coming up next year which I suspect is drawing on a lot of people's money, so it's totally understandable."

The show was to have stayed true to its television format, with judges Brendan Cole, Paul Mercurio and Alison Leonard providing comments and scores for the dancers.

Full refunds are available from the original point of purchase. The price of tickets bought over the phone or online will be automatically refunded to the original credit card.

My deadline is coming up for delivery of my first draft of my book so I have plenty to do!

Yesturday I toasted chestnuts - anyone do this often? I think I over cooked them and then left them too long before I peeled them so the skin wouldnt come away from the fruit. They went in the bin so I will be redoing those.

I made pretzels - which turned out fantastic!

I also made a sticky date pudding/cake which seems to have turned out however I havent cut it or tasted it yet. I will make sauce tonight and have it for desert.

Today I have been writing up some recipes and I also made some Beef Jerky which Andrea really likes!

Oh and two days ago I made a Crumbed Sardine and Sou'western pasta dish with a beer and lime dressing - surprisingly it was most yummy!

secrets to chestnut roasting and peeling appreciated!!

Good Question and one I may be able to answer in three weeks time. Although I will not be ablw to tell anyone until the show has aired.

Yes I have begun filming a TV show called "Who Do You Think You Are" it is a BBC devised program and is absolutely terrific. There is a US version and also an Australian version shot by SBS TV.

http://www.sbs.com.au/shows/whodoyouthinkyouare/videos/page/i/1/show/whodoyouthinkyouare

They are doing a story for series three tracing my family history. I can tell you no more especially as I know nothing until I start to film - which I did yesterday but I cant tell you about that either! They truly dont tell me anything until the day - for instance I knew I was filming today but not what and where I will need to go until they told me about an hour ago!!! Keeping me in the dark big time. I know I will be going overseas to film and trace my family but I do not know where or when or to how many destinations. Strangely exciting.

I am very excited about the show and the wonderful opportunity it is giving me and my family to find out about our ancestors.

I really wanted to say that my beautiful daughters and my beautiful wife took part in the filming and I think they are really wonderful, funny, caring and intelligent people and I am so lucky to have them in my life and to take part in this show.

Thanks girls!

writing my beer cook book and all I can think about is food, beer, ingredients, beer, balance, beer, flavours, belgian beer, plating, strong beer, can I make a beer toffee - no I tired and it doesnt work, at least all the shopping is like my daily excercise walking around malls, bottle shops, Woolies, more bottle shops, the fruit shop, the butchers, the bakers - havent found a candle stick maker - actually I have there was one at the famers market I went to on Sunday. The boys at the chili stall did a great briskett not as good as mine (my wife said so) but very good - maybe I should go shopping and pick up some briskett and some beer.....I can feel a recipe coming on!

woke up yesterday morning wondering what the day would bring

went to bed last night with my youngest in hospital having her appendix out.

Life is full, busy, unstoppable, unknown and unpredictable

she is home now all good, in pain but getting better

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?