Paul Mercurio Online

Okay first and foremost it is against the law to speed so the very first and last argument that can be had (and the one that those who don’t wish to have the discussion or actually look at the argument) is just that – it is against the law and therefore if you do and you are caught you deserve the consequences.

I can’t argue against it. I can argue the STUPIDITY of how, when, where and why the roads speeds are placed and how when where and why they are policed. Or in fact not actually ‘policed’ – ie by the police – but how people are caught and fined by a privately run company that is largely owned by one of our large banks (I believe but could be mistaken) – REVENUE.

Yes this is about the speeding fine I received in the mail today. It was for doing 66kph in a 60 zone. In fact they take 3 kph off just in case their equipment is faulty so they say my actual speed was 69kph. Of course one must ask if there equipment could be out by 3kph couldn’t it read lower and higher ie plus or minus 3kph thereby my reading might actually be 66kph which they could then take 3 kph off to give me a reading of 63kph?? However that is not the point.

The reason they don’t like us speeding – they being the police is because they say it is dangerous. So me doing 6 kph over the speed limit driving up a very long straight and very wide road with clear, open vision for at least 6-700 meters ahead is apparently dangerous?? In the three years I have been driving along this road there has never been an accident in this road and in fact it is the sort of road that you will often see sign posted at 70 or 80 kmh. In fact it joins on to a road that is sign posted at 80 and then becomes a 90 for 1 kilometre before returning to 80. The fact is though that speeding along this road is not dangerous at least not if you are speeding by 6 – 10 kph over the limit as most traffic does daily on this road.

The reason a speed camera is put on this very straight, very safe, no incident road is that because it is so wide and has such great open forward vision people tend to drive along it safely but over the limit and the private company operating the speed cameras know it can make good money on this road – REVENUE!

I am teaching my daughter to drive and I am always telling her to be careful of her speed and she will complain about how often she is looking at her speedo instead of the road – a very common complaint from many many drivers – the fact that the speed police have us watching our speedos and taking our eyes off the road creates a very dangerous environment for road users and you could fairly say is an environment created by the speed police – STUPIDITY!

The police often say there is no such thing as safe speeding but in fact there are many people who would agree there is. There are plenty of stupid, irresponsible and criminal drivers out on the road and there are plenty of weird and inappropriate speed signs posted in strange and ill advised areas. Worse there are plenty of plain clothed camera cars sitting on very straight and safe pieces of road making good money out of people doing less than 10 kph over the limit – yes they are speeding according to the law but you cannot say they are being in any way, shape or form dangerous.

Sadly these camera cars and the revenue (and profit they make) have nothing to do with caring about our safety for if they did they would be patrolling known danger spots where their efforts could actually make a difference – would in fact save lives.

As for me I let my guard down, usually I spot these camera cars well in advance and check my speed and if I am over the limit then I adjust to the relevant posted sign and then when well away from the camera car do the smart and safe thing when driving on the road with lots of other cars – drive according to the conditions around me. Sometimes this means exceeding the posted limit and sometimes it means going slower than the limit – amazingly I was given my license because I was seen as a responsible, mature person able to think for myself and to operate a motor vehicle with prudence, intelligence and safety.

Apparently.

My heart and thoughts go out to all my cousins in Wisconsin who will bury their youngest brother today. He was killed on the 29th of December when his car was hit by a train as he was crossing the tracks. Michael leaves behind a loving wife and three wonderful children. I cant imaging the shock of being given this news it is to me unfathomable and because of this I cannot imagine the pain that his brothers and sisters must be feeling – so unexpeceted, so violently sudden that there are no goodbyes, no last words, just an ugly dark hole ripped open and shoved unwanting and within all that loved him nestled coldly against our hearts.

I only met Michael and his wife Pam when I was in Wisconsin filming a year and a half ago. He was the youngest of 9 – the eldest brother Roger died of cancer some years ago so the family know loss but the sheer tragic nature of this will hurt for a long time.

I send my love and thoughts to you all I know it hurts so please be gentle with yourselves.

RIP Michael

Scattered my Dad’s ashes today at his very good friends house in Saint Andrews. It was a good afternoon with some tears, some regrets, lots of heart felt sighs.

A year ago today he passed on – for all his bullishness and darkside we all miss him. Occassionally I think to myself I will give him a call and then I remember….

A year ago today he passed – sometimes you dont know what you had till you lose it…

Death is so final – it may seem obvious but it isnt until you actually have to give yourself over to it, there is no bargaining for extra time, special privileges or family contingencies it IS final – a finality that sometimes, often times begs comprehension.

A year ago today he passed – and I cradled his ashes much like I did 11 years ago with my brothers ashes but this time it was comforting to hold my Dad (albeit in a 2 kilo plastic container) but you know he never would have been that still in life. I took comfort in holding him and I took comfort in letting him go.

Farewell Dad, I will still want to give you a call now and then as I still do with Michael – I will stilll talk to you on occassion, still get cross with you, still laugh with you , still love you and always miss you – for you will ever be a part of me and I of you.

Fare thee well my Father

I am indeed an incredibly lucky man as you can see I have three very beautiful, unique, intelligent, caring, compassionate, smart, sassy, passionate and wonderful Daughters! I could go on and on about them but for now I want to talk about my middle one because today is her birthday and today she turns 20.

20 years ago today she was born and she came in a screaming hurry – literally – she came out screaming and arrived in the world in just over four hours of labour. Not a lot has changed she is still in a hurry and instead of screaming she is constantly singing at the top of her beautiful voice. She wants to be a musical theatre star and I have no doubt she will be although she is already a star in my and her mother’s eyes!!

I would describe Emily as a truly unique creature. She is thoughtful, kind and compassionate – she doesn’t fear to give things a go as she hurtles forward challenging, devouring and accomplishing all tasks set before her. She is without a doubt her own person, won’t compromise who she is for anything or anyone but shares herself willing because she is truly a generous spirit. I love the way she thinks, I love the way she expresses herself and above all I love the way she giggles.

There is so much more to say about Emily and I know there is much more that we will hear from and about Emily as she goes out into the world and makes her unique and indelible mark on the world.

I am so proud of the wonderful young, adventurous, talented, intelligent and gorgeous woman you are (I just wish you would eat lamb!)

Happy Birthday Emily!!

xoxo

ps Emily is the middle one

My aunt Ruth passed away today after an amazing five year personal battle with cancer.

I have mixed feelings – not about her passing – but about our relationship. In fact I don’t have mixed feelings I just don’t want to go into the whole thing about who she was to me, what she was to me. Apparently she was my god mother….pointless really.

She was a courageous women, she had a story without a doubt from growing up in Germany to escaping the 3rd Reich and finally settling in Australia. She married my mother’s brother and made her success and his. She was a hard woman, an opinionated woman, dysfunctional and generous. I remember going to Miss Mauds in Perth – an all you can eat German restaurant it blew my mind. I remember her infectious laugh, her clipped German speech and her definitive way of making a point. I didn’t like her, I am not sure if she liked me, I didn’t really know her, I didn’t really have anything to do with her as I pursued my career and I don’t think she understood who I was or what I did or achieved but then why should she.

My brother had a relationship with her and my Uncle which seemed to be important to him – sadly because we didn’t grow up with a dad and in ways I hoped that my aunt and uncle may have fulfilled that role – for me they didn’t but perhaps for my brother they did. I am glad my brother saw the better side of them that I never did. As I type that it sounds harsh but it is my failing rather than theirs.

Ruth was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago – she was counselled to undergo treatment which she refused and which was typical of who she was – she would do it her way. There was a lady who was diagnosed at the same time as Ruth who took the prescribed treatment and consequently died as the doctors had said in two years. Ruth went her own way and lasted for 5 years and made the most of it. Importantly for me she made amends with my Mother and the two of them went on weekly outings watching movies, shopping, drinking wine and eating oysters – I think in ways they became the sisters to each other that they never had – they loved each other, they fought each other, they disagreed, they enjoyed, they became journey women – it is perhaps a shame and a blessing that it happened because my aunt got cancer – that in facing death and the struggle for life my aunt came to rely on my mother in a way that she possibly fought all her life – she never wanted to rely on any one – but what are friends for??? Why do we cheat ourselves out of the very basic and deserved relationship of others??

My sincerest condolences go to her children and to her husband – this is life and this is death at the very least you had plenty of time to make your peace and come to terms with the inevitable although of course now seems too soon and nobody is really ready are they.

It always strikes me that it is not the dead but the living that suffer the most. Death is such a finite experience that in ways it remains incomprehensible and perhaps the only way to deal with it is to believe in a heaven and that we will all catch up for a party in the afterlife….nice thought but it is a far too painful thing to live through and the loss is all too deafening.

Vale Aunty Ruth – thank you for the good times, I forgive you for the bad times and I am glad that you made amends with my Mother and that together you were able to make the journey towards death a much more enjoyable and celebratorous experience. In that you have taught me much.

R.I.P Ruth McKibbin